How to balance the relationship between the challenge of living and the actual pain, afraid of the recurrence of depression and anxiety?

Hello. I'm listening.

You were tired from your studies and wanted to die, but with help, you got through it.

I admire your courage. You've faced many depression/previously-i-always-believed-that-hard-work-would-lead-to-success-until-the-failure-in-the-college-entrance-examination-how-did-i-change-2810.html" target="_blank">failures, struggles, and battles. You've overcome them with potential and willpower.

Your friends can't be your only support.

You and your mother disagree about your career.

You think you're young with endless possibilities. You think you're young enough to try your luck, even if you fail. You agree with your mother and worry about facing high work pressure and having no one to turn to in a foreign land.

No one to lean on, and I relapsed.

The pressure of work is still there.

The pressure is the same, whether you work inside or outside the system.

The news said that new jobs are civil servant jobs. Civil servant departments are all changing and some people are losing their jobs.

Therefore, work pressure will always be high, and you should improve your ability to withstand it.

What caused the last stress?

Is it because you can't handle pressure, or because the environment makes most people anxious? This causes depression.

Personal reasons:

Some people have weaker immune systems than others. Those with weaker systems will get sick in the same environment, while those with stronger systems will not.

Environmental causes:

The eruption of a volcano or the Wenchuan earthquake were both caused by environmental factors. No one living in the area or at that time was spared.

After finding the cause, we attack it from every angle, boost our immunity, change our environment, or move away from an unsuitable environment.

Predicting the unknown, 30 years of the East River, 30 years of the West River.

The answer is in your heart. You must help yourself.

You're afraid of the unknown, which is normal. Most people are in your situation, and it's okay to take your time. Your mother is by your side. Here's a summary of the pros and cons of this path and the difficulties you'll encounter in the law firm.

Go where you can accept it. You're young, so you have time to try it. If it doesn't suit you, you can still do it.

You've already changed jobs once, so you have experience.

It's hard for parents to change.

You understand your parents' struggles, and your mom's life is tough. That's rare and precious.

But you have your own ideas. Parents will eventually leave.

You can choose to be brave or not. That's your choice. But you said everyone is responsible for their own choices.

Dear student, I understand your current situation, and I am here to support you.

You will soon graduate from university. Congratulations! When it comes to finding a job, your ideas differ from those of your parents. You want to follow your own path, but also want to obey your parents. It is really hard for you. You carry the expectations of your parents on your shoulders, so you must move forward.

You are the only one who knows the hardships along the way. You have survived such difficult times, so you know how to do it. 21 years of depression and anxiety, you did it. Moving forward with your pain, you will overcome this hurdle. Don't feel sorry for yourself.

Take the civil service exam or go to a law firm in another city—either way, you're in for a challenge. Staying close to home means navigating your parents' relationship and your mother's anxiety. Going to another city gives you freedom, but you'll have to weather a high-pressure work environment. You're in a dilemma, but you're glad you still have a choice.

Let everything happen as it will. You cannot control your mother's anxiety; that is her problem. Despite the lack of communication between your parents for many years, they remain together, and that is their destiny and the way they get along.

Give your parents back their destiny. A mother cannot live without her children. She wants to feel secure and in control, even when she is within sight of her children. You are now an adult, and you should look at your parents with an adult's perspective. Behind this is also a deep love for you. Do you feel it?

As a highly educated person, you have a mission. You have worked hard for many years, and now it is time to fulfill your wishes. Follow your heart, don't push yourself, and go at your own pace.

Mothers love their children dearly, and you should be able to feel it. Your happiness and health are important to your mother. She brought you into this world, and she wants you to be healthy and happy. Showing your parents that you care about them is the best way to repay them. Live your life to the fullest, and don't worry about proving yourself. You've already done that by simply being yourself.

Young people have endless possibilities. You will fail. Accept it. Dare to fail. This is a kind of ability. Compare yourself to your previous self. Make a little progress every day.

I wish you the best. You can do it.

I'm in my fourth year of graduate school and am currently facing the stage of graduating and looking for a job. In my second year of graduate school, I was really tired due to too many things, which made me feel world-weary. This was made worse by problems in my family of origin; at one point I needed to take medication.

Luckily, I figured it out later, life returned to normal, and my state of mind returned to normal. I must give the original poster a big thumbs up here. It's really not an easy thing to go through such a low point and come out of it so quickly.

The issue now is career planning. The mother wants to take the civil service exam to gain stability, but after trying, the questioner feels that she would rather take some risks. Of course, there are still some uncertainties, such as work pressure and the discomfort of living independently from home. It seems a bit of a contradiction to be excited about it but also a bit scared, eager to try but also a bit of a yes-man.

I get it. When you first graduate, you're full of energy and eager to experience society and make a name for yourself. Even if you face setbacks, you'll still make the same choice.

I think you should be sure of your choice first. What do you really want? After going through the previous low point, you should want something vibrant and full of life, not something that feels routine and passionless.

If that's what you want, then follow your heart and make your choice.

Think about what challenges you might face if you make this choice, what you can prepare in advance, and what you might need help with. Make all kinds of plans.

Once you're sure of your choice, go and talk to your mother. You can give yourself a time limit, like two or three years. If you try it and it doesn't work out, you can always come back.

On another note, I have to remind you that work pressure and the initial period of living independently away from home can be uncomfortable. These are all normal things, and it all depends on how you maintain a good attitude and successfully get through the adjustment period.

I hope you figure it out soon.

Good day. I am a coach based in Xin Tan, Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu.

Embarking on endeavors that are novel and outside of one's comfort zone can evoke feelings of unease. It is not uncommon for individuals to experience a degree of apprehension and discomfort when confronted with unfamiliar situations. Even when the level of comfort is perceived to be below optimal, it is often the result of familiarity and an awareness of potential risks, which can contribute to a sense of ease.

First complete the task, then seek to perfect it. When we apply pressure to ourselves to succeed, we unconsciously anticipate the consequences of failure, enter emotional rumination, and lose the courage to move forward.

It may be helpful to consider what the worst possible outcome could be and, if it were to occur, how you would respond. Preparing for the worst can often help to reduce stress levels.

It is important to remain calm and to understand that progress is made in small steps. Without trying, it is impossible to determine which path is best for you. If you find yourself on the wrong road, simply turn around and take another. As long as you do not feel pressured to continue down a particular path, I believe you will find the outcome to be satisfactory. It is important to remember that the questioner does not have to be overly stressed.

It is important to face the reality of failure. When we are afraid of failure and are unwilling to move forward, we also forfeit the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. For example, if you make a mistake the first time you cook and never want to try again, it is unlikely that you will be able to cook. To become proficient at something, one must engage in deliberate practice. When we fail, we must ask ourselves whether we are not trying hard enough or not good enough. Identifying the root cause of the problem will help us determine if we are working hard in the wrong direction and expending effort unproductively, or if we are not practicing enough.

It is advisable to avoid self-labelling. There is a commonly held belief that if you say you can, you can; if you say you can't, you can't; if you say you can't, you can't. When we do not set limits for ourselves, we become less resistant to change. This concept has been a significant factor in my thinking over the past 23 years.

As the song goes, "One step forward is happiness, one step back is loneliness." The questioner might be able to alter their perspective to ask, "What if I succeed?"

Providing oneself with positive suggestions can help to reduce feelings of anxiety.

It is important to recognize the value of failure. Not everyone has the opportunity to experience significant failures. Having the courage to face major setbacks is an essential quality for success. Failure can also provide an opportunity to assess and enhance our ability to overcome challenges, making us stronger. This mindset can help reduce anxiety.

It is important to distinguish between facts and feelings, as well as between your own issues and those of your mother. When we focus on our goals, we tend to pay less attention to negative voices and more attention to ways to improve.

The remainder of your life can be relatively brief or considerably longer. While time is an objective entity, feelings are subjective. Engaging in activities you enjoy will enhance your sense of well-being.

The questioner may wish to consider ways of enhancing their personal resilience and embracing a more expansive approach to their life experiences. I would suggest exploring the following resources: "Burns New Emotion Therapy," "Burns Anxiety Self-Help Therapy," "I'm Really Great," "A Thought Turn," and "Dialogue with Inner Fear."

Best regards,

In fact, every choice we make is like Schrödinger's cat experiment, in which a cat is assumed to be in a box, possibly alive or dead, and we cannot know until it is observed. This experiment helps us understand that every decision will affect the future outcome, but the result can only be revealed after the action is taken. Isn't that fascinating?

Is it good that the cat is alive? Absolutely! It's going to have an amazing life from now on.

Of course, it doesn't have to be! Your happiness depends on your ability to face the future with a healthy and positive attitude.

After all, every choice has its own set of pros and cons, and there are so many exciting possibilities for good or bad things to happen!

From your questions, I see that you have three exciting areas to explore!

1. Confusion about future career planning: You mentioned the conflict between your mother's expectations and your own inner desires, showing confusion and uncertainty about your future career choices.

2. Managing emotions and finding a balance in life: You have experienced emotional distress such as depression and anxiety, but you're ready to find balance and courage in the challenging life you're about to embark on!

Self-assessment of abilities and confusion about which position to adapt to: You may be somewhat confused about your actual abilities and which positions you can adapt to, and you are not sure what type of work you should choose. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways to figure out what you're good at and what you're passionate about.

I've got some great suggestions for how you can solve these issues!

1. Self-assessment and career planning

Self-assessment and career planning are an important part of career planning. It's a great way to sort out your existing professional skills, soft skills, and interests so you can better understand your strengths and specialties!

Professional skills include subject knowledge and professional skills, while soft skills cover interpersonal communication, teamwork, and other abilities. Hobbies reflect one's love and passion for certain fields, and they're a great way to explore new interests and discover new passions!

It's time to start thinking about which positions or industries are going to be the perfect fit for your amazing abilities and interests! Matching your existing abilities and interests with different positions or industries is a great way to find the career direction that's going to make you shine.

By connecting these elements, we can make predictions about our own likelihood of success in a particular position or industry in the future. This way of thinking is a great way to gain a clearer understanding of ourselves and to identify our future career direction!

The future is bright! Continuous learning and improving your abilities will be crucial to your career planning. By constantly upgrading your professional knowledge and skills to meet the needs of different positions or industries, you'll be able to better adapt to the challenges of the workplace.

And don't forget to pursue your interests! Loving what you do will motivate you to move forward.

2. Psychological adjustment

When faced with the trade-off between a challenging life and emotional well-being, there are some incredible psychological methods you can try to better manage your emotions and balance your life! The following are some common methods, including positive mindset training, cognitive reconstruction, and emotional regulation.

First, let me tell you about this amazing method called positive mindset training. It's a fantastic way to improve your emotions and cope with challenges. This training method helps you cultivate a positive and optimistic attitude by reshaping your way of thinking.

The great thing about positive mindset training is that it helps you to look for the positive aspects of things and positive interpretations. It also encourages you to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and optimism. By focusing on the positive and actively evaluating and reshaping your thinking patterns, you can better manage negative emotions and improve your emotional health!

The second method is cognitive restructuring, which is a fantastic way to change negative thinking patterns. This method helps us reconstruct positive cognitive patterns by identifying and challenging negative self-evaluations, distorted thoughts, and negative beliefs.

Cognitive restructuring is an amazing process that helps us become aware of negative thinking patterns, find evidence to support or refute these patterns, and develop more positive and rational ways of thinking. It's a fantastic way to change our perception of challenges and reduce the impact of excessive worry and negative emotions.

And there's more! Emotion regulation is a great way to help us deal with negative emotions and stress. It can include adopting positive coping strategies such as seeking social support, physical exercise, relaxation, and meditation.

These methods are amazing for helping us relieve stress, improve our mood, and enhance our mental health. Emotional regulation can also include skills for emotional expression, such as the ability to recognize and express emotions, as well as learning about emotion management and emotion regulation strategies.

Finally, I want to tell you that no matter what your choice is, get ready for a future filled with happy surprises!

First and foremost, it is important to accept reality. This is the first step to a happy and fulfilling life! We need to recognize that there are uncertainties and challenges in life, and accepting these realities means facing life's changes and challenges with a calm mind, rather than trying to avoid or deny them.

Embracing reality is a surefire way to thrive in the face of change and challenge!

Secondly, cultivating a healthy and positive mindset is absolutely crucial! No matter what situation we face, we can choose to face it with a positive mindset.

This means cultivating optimism, hope, and resilience, believing in our ability to cope with difficulties, and trusting that the future will bring good opportunities! By thinking and acting positively, we can better adapt to change and find happiness and satisfaction in life.

And finally, it is so important to be clear about your goals and values! Our decisions and choices should be based on our goals and values, so let's make sure we're on the right track!

When we are clear about our goals and values, we can more accurately determine which path is more meaningful to us, and thus better face the opportunities and challenges in life—and we can do it with a positive attitude!

No matter which path we choose, we can all achieve happiness! The key is to accept reality with a positive attitude and face the changes and challenges in life head-on.

By accepting reality, cultivating a healthy and positive attitude, and clarifying our goals and values, we can better respond to future opportunities and challenges and create our own happiness and success!

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope my answer will be of some assistance to you.

You have indicated that, while you have become more courageous, you are also concerned about your ability to withstand increased work pressure. This refers to the discomfort of living alone in a foreign place or the high-pressure work environment in the law firm. You are afraid of experiencing a sense of lifelessness again, where you no longer want to live. However, you are reluctant to pursue the opportunities that are appropriate for someone your age due to your overly conservative attitude towards illness.

It is important to recognize that we have the ability to make our own choices. To make an informed decision, it is essential to understand which choice entails a greater level of responsibility. By addressing your parents' issues and addressing your own issues, you will gain the clarity and confidence to make well-informed choices.

I advise you to:

1. Distinguish between your parents' issues and your own issues. Return their issues to them and take ownership of your own issues. This will enable you to become independent and free.

Your mother's emotional issues, your parents' relationship problems, and other matters related to them are, in fact, their problems. It is not your responsibility to bear them, nor can you do so. As stated in "A Single Thought Can Change Everything," there are only three categories of matters in this world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven. Individuals tend to experience distress because they do not control their own affairs but instead worry about other people's affairs and the affairs of heaven.

It is important to recognize that parents' issues are not solely their own. If they are unwilling to change, they will continue to exhibit the same patterns. Attempting to influence them is often ineffective and can lead to significant personal challenges. It is essential to address these issues directly while also taking responsibility for one's own actions.

What is the matter at hand? It is a matter that you are directly responsible for.

For example, the decision of whether to take the civil service exam or pursue other opportunities is a matter that rests with the individual, not their mother. It is therefore necessary to make an informed decision and accept the consequences of that decision.

For example, if you choose to heed your mother's advice and take the civil service exam, you will have to accept the consequences. These may include preparing for the exam, spending more time with your parents, and foregoing opportunities to try new things. Alternatively, you could choose to work outside the city, but this would entail other consequences, such as your parents' disapproval and the pressure of living independently. In reality, there is no ideal choice, just as there is no perfect person. It is important to consider the trade-offs and consequences of each option and then make a decision that aligns with your personal values and willingness to accept the consequences.

2. You have evolved since your second year of graduate school. You can now return to school and complete your dissertation draft in a methodical manner. You have also adapted well to your new interpersonal environment. You have been performing at a commendable level, and you can leverage your successful experiences to manage stress in the future.

From your description, it seems that you, a second-year graduate student, have taken on a significant number of responsibilities, and you lack effective outlets for releasing your emotions. Prolonged suppression, including high stress, can lead to emotional backlog, which ultimately leads to depression and anxiety. However, after years of developing effective coping mechanisms, you have a good ability to adapt to your environment and can perform tasks within your abilities. Therefore, you are more powerful inside, and your psychological resilience has also been improved. You can summarize how you have done it over the years. These are your successful experiences and can become your resources for dealing with future stress.

There is no need to be afraid. You are developing and growing all the time. You can also enhance your inner strength and become a person with inner stability and good adaptability through continuous learning and growth.

3. With regard to work-related stressors (such as the transition to living independently in a foreign environment or the demanding work culture at the law firm), we can also facilitate our own gradual recovery by enhancing our ability to cope.

Previously, I was prone to experiencing stress-related difficulties and relied on external support. However, I have since developed strategies for effectively managing stress. I would like to share some of these strategies with you. Firstly, it is essential to prioritize tasks effectively. When faced with a heavy workload, it is crucial to focus on the most important tasks and delegate the less crucial ones. This approach not only reduces stress but also allows you to complete tasks in a more efficient manner. Secondly, it is important to learn to manage stress and express emotions in a constructive manner. One effective approach is to keep an emotional diary. This involves setting aside 15-30 minutes daily to document your innermost feelings and thoughts. This practice has been shown to have a positive impact on mental health. Additionally, it is beneficial to seek support from individuals you trust. Expressing yourself to a reliable person can significantly reduce psychological pressure.

Please find the above information for your reference. Best regards,

You have already made great progress. You have come out of a state of depression and anxiety. This is a very remarkable achievement. Your feelings and concerns are reasonable.

To live life to the full while avoiding depression and anxiety, find a rhythm and boundaries that suit you. Here are some tips:

1. Accept yourself.

2. Try things gradually. You can start with small steps, such as trying less stressful work or a short period of living away from home.

3. Get help from friends, colleagues, or professionals when you need it.

4. Keep seeing a counselor to learn how to handle stress and stay mentally healthy.

5. Self-care: Sleep, diet, and exercise help you cope with stress.

6. Talk with your mother. Tell her what you think and what you want, but also listen to her. Work together to find a solution that is good for both of you.

7. Set boundaries to protect yourself from excessive stress.

Everyone's life is different. Find a lifestyle that suits you while maintaining your mental health.

Pursue your dreams, but take care of yourself.

It is always important to remember that caring for yourself is the most important thing you can do. Prioritise looking after your body and mind, and everything else will fall into place.

It may be helpful to consider developing a regular routine, eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, avoiding excessive stress, and ensuring you allow yourself sufficient time to rest and relax.

2. It might be helpful to find an activity or hobby that interests you and incorporate it into your daily life. Allowing yourself time to relax and recuperate could also be beneficial.

You might like to try some relaxing activities such as reading, meditation, massage, or bathing. It can be helpful to pay attention to self-care and meet your own needs and desires.

3. Set healthy work boundaries: It's important to find a good balance between work and life. Learn to say no and respect your limits.

4. Consider learning to delegate and ask for help. If it is possible to do so, you might consider delegating some tasks to others or asking for help. It is not necessary to take on all the responsibility yourself. A sensible distribution of tasks can relieve you of some of the burden and give you more time and energy to enjoy life.

5. Be flexible and adapt to change: Life's work and personal needs change over time. It may be helpful to consider adapting to change and adjusting your expectations and arrangements to the new situation.

6. Consider seeking support and advice. You may find it helpful to talk to family members, friends, or mentors, or to seek professional psychological counseling or guidance.

7. Accept yourself: It is important to accept yourself as a finite human being who is sometimes unable to achieve perfect balance. It is helpful to be tolerant and understanding of yourself, and to pay attention to your own growth and happiness.

It may be helpful to consider talking to a professional, talking to yourself, incorporating self-care and coping strategies into your life as ways of dealing with the realities of life and depressive and anxious states.

Hello!

You're facing a tough choice after graduation: taking the civil service exam or going abroad. It's a tough decision, and you have your own worries. Hugs to you!

You saw the anxiety caused by the bar exam and other things when you were in your second year of graduate school. You relied on your own reading, learning, and going to the doctor to get through that difficult time. This is still a big driving force for you.

This experience will help you in the future. We grow from overcoming problems. Did you seek help sooner this time?

We make choices in life. We cannot keep going down the same path. We cannot have it all. If we choose, we will persevere and solve problems. It may be easier to embark on the road ahead with this mentality than to struggle here.

You took the civil service exam. It's hard to pass, but many people take it. Your mother's idea is fine. It depends on how determined we are. If you want to try, there's nothing wrong with that. We just have to be prepared for the things you're worried about. We must show courage to face them. I believe that after that painful experience, you will face future difficulties with greater perseverance.

If you want to do one of those things, that's fine. We're young, so we can try it. If it doesn't work out, we can always stop. We can also take the civil service exam. I don't think it's about choosing one thing or another. It's about being able to cope with the choice you make.

You've resolved your problems by reading, seeking help, and getting medical treatment. If you can afford it, you can also find a professional counselor. They can give you advice and help, which can make your path smoother.

I hope your dreams come true and your future is everything you want it to be. I love you!

Those who prioritize self-interest may experience anxiety, depression, fatigue, and an inability to adapt to the social dynamics of academic or professional settings. Conversely, individuals who prioritize the well-being of others and demonstrate adaptability may exhibit a shift in perspective that involves a reduction in self-importance and an increase in positive energy.

The process of self-growth and change entails the development of the capacity to genuinely love others, to adapt effectively to the diverse individuals and circumstances one encounters, to regulate one's emotional state, and to avoid or mitigate negative emotions.

Genuine love for others entails a desire for their happiness and the capacity to mentally accept, forgive, and pardon all individuals, including those who are weak, regardless of their abilities or circumstances. If mistakes or shortcomings exist, they can be rectified. Everyone possesses the inherent right to happiness, irrespective of the nature or quality of their relationships, whether they are close or distant, and regardless of whether their actions are right or wrong, productive or destructive, and so forth. It is a universal aspiration for others to be happy. People can provide mutual comfort and even joy to each other. It is beneficial to love and accept oneself and others, to tolerate shortcomings and deficiencies, and to be kindhearted. In other words, it is advantageous to others or society to not despise or reject ordinary people and to not be jealous or intolerant of those who are outstanding.

If one does not have a positive relationship with the majority of people, it can result in the accumulation of negative energy and emotional issues. In order to increase the likelihood of finding and maintaining healthy relationships and careers, it is essential to develop a capacity for genuine love, adaptability, and the ability to regulate one's energy field. Additionally, sharing and exchanging experiences, ideas, and interests with others, including through online platforms such as Douban communities, can facilitate the formation of positive connections.

Concurrently, one should endeavor to cultivate a contentment with the modest aspects of life, including one's romantic endeavors.

Negative energy can affect one's physical health. To maintain bodily comfort and health, one may engage in a full-body massage. A head massage encompasses the forehead and face, which also possess meridian pathways. To perform this massage, utilize deep and firm hand movements, and employ a firm massage comb to press the stomach. It is advised to refrain from pressing the stomach on an empty stomach and then engaging in physical activity, such as walking.

Individuals who experience negative emotions or thoughts and behaviors may experience physical and mental discomfort and impairment. They may also encounter unhappy people and situations, interpersonal conflicts, emotional and marital disharmony (which can also affect one's magnetic field), and even challenges in academic or professional settings. This is due to the accumulation of negative energy when an individual is excessively self-centered or driven by self-interest. The more self-centered an individual is, the more their magnetic field will be out of alignment with others. To achieve a more fulfilling and meaningful life, it is essential to learn how to truly love others and adapt to their needs, correct one's energy field, resolve conflicts, improve one's emotions and interpersonal relationships, and effectively address the aforementioned challenges. Additionally, when individuals learn to truly love the people and things in their lives, they will not be overly attached to love, experience reduced negative emotions such as separation anxiety and pain, and will not feel a lack of happiness inside. Only through this process can one's life become truly fulfilling and meaningful.

If necessary, they can also facilitate growth and change in those around them.

The extent to which an individual is overly self-absorbed varies considerably from person to person. There are a number of psychological motivations that drive this behaviour, including the pursuit of self-satisfaction, competition for self-satisfaction, the suppression of self-deprecation in order to please others, the willingness to blindly give in order to receive, and a fear of losing. Individuals who are overly self-absorbed may display a number of behaviours that are characteristic of narcissism or inferiority. These include a tendency to pay excessive attention to oneself, which can cause stress and worry, social phobia, and a preoccupation with one's own emotions and thoughts. Individuals who are overly self-absorbed often place a significant amount of importance on the opinions of others. They may also struggle to accept their own shortcomings and inadequacies, striving instead for perfection. They may also engage in behaviours that force, control, or take possession of others, or force others to satisfy their needs. This can result in feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction. Individuals who are overly self-absorbed may also experience difficulty forgiving themselves or others. They may find it challenging to let go of negative emotions and move on from past experiences. This can lead to a tendency to brood over past events.

The process of self-growth and change entails the development of the capacity to love others genuinely, to adapt effectively to diverse individuals and circumstances, and to regulate one's emotional state in a manner that prevents or mitigates the experience of negative emotions.

To truly love others is to wish and give others happiness, and to mentally accept, approve, or forgive everyone, regardless of their individual merits. If there are mistakes or shortcomings, they can be corrected. Everyone has the right to happiness, regardless of the nature or quality of the relationship, whether it is a gathering or a parting, whether it is right or wrong, gain or loss. It is hoped that others can be happy. People can bring mutual comfort and even joy to each other. It is beneficial to love and approve others and oneself, to tolerate shortcomings and deficiencies, and to be kind at heart. That is, it is beneficial to others or society, not to despise or reject ordinary people, not to be jealous or intolerant of outstanding people.

If one does not get along with most people, it can result in the accumulation of negative energy and the emergence of negative emotional problems. In order to truly love others and adapt to people and situations, it is necessary to correct one's energy field in order to facilitate the discovery and establishment of loving relationships and careers. Additionally, it is possible to share and exchange one's observations, thoughts, feelings, and interests with others in real life and on the Internet, including books, movies, music, and other forms of media, through platforms such as Douban communities.

Furthermore, it is advisable to cultivate a positive attitude towards romantic relationships and to embrace the simple pleasures in life.

Negative energy can affect one's physical health. Maintaining bodily comfort and health can provide a full-body massage. A head massage includes the forehead and face, which also have meridians. The head should be massaged with deep, firm strokes, and the stomach should be massaged with a firm massage comb. It is important to note that the stomach should not be pressed on an empty stomach; instead, one should engage in some form of exercise, such as a brief walk, to facilitate digestion.

If one is afflicted with negative emotions or thoughts and behaviors, one's body and mind will not feel comfortable and healthy. One will often encounter people and things that upset one, interpersonal conflicts, emotional and marital disharmony (which can also affect one's magnetic field), and even problems in one's academic or career life. This is because when one is too self-centered or self-absorbed, negative energy accumulates. The more self-centered one is, the more one's magnetic field will be out of tune with other people's. One must learn how to truly love others and adapt to people and things, correct one's energy field, resolve conflicts, improve one's emotions and interpersonal relationships, and better solve the above problems. In addition, if one knows how to truly love the people and things in the world, one will not be overly attached to love, reduce negative emotions such as separation anxiety and pain, and will not feel a lack of happiness inside. Only in this way can one's life become fulfilling and meaningful.

In addition, they can facilitate growth and change in those around them.

The extent to which individuals are self-absorbed varies. This is due to a number of factors, including the psychological motivation to seek self-fulfillment, to compete for self-satisfaction or to suppress self-depreciation and ingratiate oneself, to blindly give in order to gain, and to fear losing. When individuals are overly narcissistic or inferior, they may experience stress and worry, social phobia, and a tendency to become caught up in their own emotions and thoughts. Individuals who attach significant importance to what others think of them, who do not accept their own shortcomings and deficiencies, who demand their own perfection, who are obsessive, controlling, possessive, or who demand that others satisfy them may experience resentment and dissatisfaction when they cannot let go of themselves to forgive and forgive.

Those who prioritize their own interests may experience anxiety, depression, and fatigue, as well as difficulty adapting to the social and situational demands of academic or professional settings. Conversely, individuals who genuinely care about others and adapt to their environments tend to have a more positive self-perception and greater energy reserves.

In conclusion, it is essential to strive to the best of one's abilities, to act with benevolent intentions, and to refrain from causing harm to others, as nobody desires to endure suffering. Even if one is unable to fully adapt to the individuals and circumstances within one's academic or professional setting,

Those who genuinely care about others and are able to adapt to different situations will inevitably experience a sense of self-disparagement and a subsequent replenishment of their positive energy. In essence, one should strive to do their best, act with benevolent intentions, and refrain from causing harm to others, as nobody wishes to endure suffering.

It's normal to worry about a potential relapse. Anyone who has experienced depression is naturally on high alert. Here are some tips to help you balance and cope with these issues:

1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. A healthy diet, adequate sleep, moderate exercise, and stress reduction are essential for improving physical immunity and mental stability. If necessary, seek professional help.

2. Take control of your life by making a plan and managing stress. Use time management techniques, exercise, and relaxation techniques (such as deep breathing, yoga, meditation, etc.) to manage stress and emotions. Seek support from others, such as communicating with friends, family, or professionals.

3. Face life challenges head-on. Adapting to a new living environment, relationship challenges, or other stressors takes time and effort. Accept these challenges while seeking the necessary support and learning new skills. You will cope better with these situations.

4. Clarify personal boundaries. You must clarify your boundaries and needs when interacting with others. You are not obligated to meet all of their expectations. This will help you better manage your emotions and protect your mental health.

5. Seek professional help if you feel unable to cope with these problems or they are having a serious impact on your life.

6. Pay attention to your emotions and body. Know what you're feeling and what your body is telling you. Look out for any signs that may indicate a relapse of depression or anxiety.

Seek support. Share your feelings and confusion with friends, family, or professionals. They can offer helpful advice and support.

Here's what you can do about painful relationships:

1. Reflect on the importance of the relationship. Ask yourself: is this relationship really important to me? Is it worth my time and effort?

2. Communication and expression: Be open and honest about your feelings and needs with the other person and work to resolve the problem.

3. Independence and autonomy: You must maintain your independence and autonomy and not rely too much on others to cope with the challenges of relationships.

4. Find a new social support network. Exploring new social opportunities and building new friendships and relationships will make you feel happier and more fulfilled.

Remember, every person and every situation is unique. The above suggestions may need to be adjusted according to specific circumstances. However, if you experience persistent or debilitating emotional or physical symptoms, it is crucial to seek professional help promptly.

I'd like to start by giving you a hug!

Dealing with what you've described is a tough process of balancing the challenges of life with the pain of the past. It's great that you've come out of depression and anxiety and are looking at the future with a different perspective and goals. Here are some tips to help you find balance:

1. Get professional support: Make sure you have a reliable source of mental health support before making any big decisions. This might mean staying in touch with your counselor or psychologist, who can give you professional advice and help you develop coping strategies.

2. Self-understanding: It's important to understand your own values, interests, and goals. This will help you make choices that are more in line with who you are, and it'll also serve as a reference when making decisions.

3. Take it slow: You can gradually challenge yourself by taking small steps, rather than jumping into the unknown all at once. For example, you can start by working part-time or trying a new activity without affecting your mental health.

4. Set boundaries: Talk to your family and let them know what you want and what you're planning for your future. At the same time, listen to their concerns and find a solution that works for everyone.

5. Build a support system: Make sure you have people you can turn to, whether that's friends, family or professionals. They can help you when you're feeling overwhelmed.

6. Self-care: Make sure you have enough time to take care of your physical and mental health. This may include getting enough rest, eating a healthy diet, doing moderate amounts of exercise, and relaxing activities.

7. Mindfulness and acceptance: Mindfulness meditation can help you accept your feelings and emotions instead of resisting or avoiding them. Learn to accept your emotions, rather than judging yourself by them.

8. Career planning: Think about your career plan in terms of your interests and goals, as well as your abilities and what you're able to handle. If you're worried that work stress might lead to a relapse, look for a less stressful job or do an internship or part-time job before starting full-time work.

9. Monitor: If you start to feel overwhelmed or experience a relapse, don't hesitate to ask for help. Stay in touch with your healthcare team and adjust your treatment plan as needed.

10. Be flexible. Stay flexible and don't be afraid to make adjustments if you find that your current plan isn't working for you. Remember, your health and happiness are the most important things.

11. Self-acceptance: Accept your imperfections and understand that everyone has their own pace and path to growth. Don't limit yourself in life because you're afraid of relapsing.

12. Stay positive and believe in your ability to handle challenges. Don't let difficulties from the past define your future.

13. Take a Chance: It's important to remember that taking a chance doesn't mean completely abandoning the safety net. You can try new things in a safe environment and retreat to a more comfortable area if necessary.

Remember, everyone's career path and life choices are different, and there's no one right way to do things. The most important thing is to find a balance that works for you, while taking care of yourself and respecting your needs.

Greetings. I extend to you a warm embrace from afar. I consider myself fortunate to have read your request for assistance, and I hope that my sharing can provide you with some support and help.

From your description, it can be seen that although you have been plagued by anxiety and depression, you have been able to alleviate these emotions through your own resources and social support, thereby reducing this part of your emotional distress and helping yourself out of the low point in your life. You should be commended for your resilience and ability to cope.

In regard to your present career plan, you aspire to pursue a vocation that aligns with your genuine interests, is not overly demanding, and allows you to realize your full potential. You are reluctant to embark on a trajectory that is linear and predictable, and you have previously attempted to align your aspirations with those of your mother by taking the civil service examination. Despite your efforts, you find it challenging to persevere, as the process is emotionally taxing and lacks the motivation to continue.

Although you comprehend that your mother's insistence that you take the civil service exam is rooted in her affection for you, you are concerned that if you insist on pursuing your own path and making your own way in the world, no one will be there to care for you in your illness and to keep you company, and that you are not yet prepared to live independently. In comparison, the trauma of your parents' unhappy marriage significantly influences your decision to decline the civil service exam and to seek a stable job in a nearby location. Your parents' attitude towards their marriage evokes feelings of indifference, mutual deception, mutual harm, insincerity, and a crumbling, emotionless marriage that is sustained by the pretense of peace. Additionally, your mother's strong desire to control and her anxiety contribute to this dynamic.

Consequently, the closer one is to one's parents, the more one experiences a lack of love, understanding, and support, and instead, a sense of hurt and deception.

A further cause for concern is the potential for deception and harm from those with whom one is intimately connected, with whom one shares the greatest trust and with whom one has the strongest emotional bond. In the absence of emotional communication and interaction with these individuals, one is also forced to bear the burden of their marital coldness and violence, as well as the unconscious control exerted by one's mother. There is a pervasive concern that one's anxiety and depression will resurface, leading to a recurrence of emotional distress and pain.

Despite being aware that proximity to one's parents results in emotional exhaustion and that the emotional support and responses desired can only be provided by oneself and external sources, it is challenging to make a definitive decision to distance oneself from one's parents, which in turn intensifies the pain and confusion experienced. This phenomenon can be attributed to the guilt and sense of sin that children feel as a result of their instinctive loyalty and love for their parents. Children often attribute their parents' distress, particularly the misfortune of their marriage, to their own shortcomings.

It is important to allow and accept oneself when one desires to follow one's heart and make independent choices and decisions regarding one's life. This can result in feelings of guilt, pain, and helplessness towards one's parents, stemming from a deep love for them. Consequently, one may choose to maintain distance from their parents due to feelings of resentment, which can also originate from a place of love.

It is imperative to become aware of this.

One may express this aspect of the internal conflict, anguish, and helplessness regarding the dilemma of choosing a path by composing a letter to one's parents. The letter should articulate the detrimental impact of their unhappy marriage on one's emotional well-being, encompassing feelings of fear, anxiety, and a profound sense of being unloved and unrespected. Additionally, it should convey the sense of control exerted by one's mother and the accompanying feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. Concurrently, the letter should express one's profound love for one's parents and delineate the desired actions to be taken so that one feels loved, understood, respected, and supported.

It is at the author's discretion whether or not to show this letter to their parents. The act of writing this letter allows the author to process their current emotions and express and release the painful emotions that have accumulated due to their parents' unhappy marriage.

Subsequently, one can return the responsibility for their parents' marital discord and general unhappiness to them. One's own life is one's own. The love and support one's parents provided during one's upbringing was intended to facilitate one's personal growth and development. However, in order to provide them with better love and support, one must first recognize oneself, address the underlying issues from one's own past experiences through one's own learning and growth, and live one's own unique life.

It is recommended that the reader familiarize themselves with the following texts: "Why Family Hurts," "Emotional Self-Help," and "Living a Unique Life."

I greet you, the questioner. I am Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who can facilitate communication through visualization.

The title poses the question, "How do I balance my desire to challenge life with the depression and anxiety that have really made me suffer?" Let's simplify it a bit. It seems that the main issue is whether to go far away or stay put. However, whether you go far away or stay put, you will have to face anxiety, your own anxiety, and also your mother's anxiety.

If I stay, I may continue to feel constrained by my mother's anxiety. If I go far away, I may have to face my own anxiety, and it seems as if I may also have to carry my mother's anxiety with me.

The title character experienced a significant shift in perspective around July of last year. It was as if a window of opportunity had opened, a refreshing breeze had blown in, and a sudden change had come over the heart that had been ready to give up. Real life had also undergone positive changes, and it was really encouraging to see these changes last until now!

Have you gained any new insights about yourself? From what you have shared, it seems that the challenges and limitations imposed by your family of origin have caused you a great deal of hardship. It is understandable that letting go is not easy. Perhaps it is precisely because you have read about and understood these issues that you have the chance to avoid repeating your mother's experiences.

You have already explored the career path she has planned for you. Your feelings tell you that this may not be the life you want, but perhaps there is another one you could yearn for instead. You can feel your eagerness to try, and what is actually hindering you is "anxiety" about your ability to cope.

It is worth noting that regardless of the path you choose, it will not necessarily be a smooth journey. Perhaps this is the nature of life, and your previous feelings of meaninglessness were a way of experiencing the helplessness of anxiety. But now you are no longer exactly the same as you were in the past! There is a poem called "Five Chapters of Life" that you might find helpful.

Chapter 1

I strolled down the street,

And there appeared to be a rather deep hole in the pavement.

I found myself in a challenging situation.

I was in a situation where I felt lost and helpless.

I must say, I don't believe it was my fault.

It required significant effort to regain my footing.

Chapter 2

I proceeded to walk down the same street.

I noticed a rather deep hole in the pavement.

I chose to ignore it.

And I found myself falling in once more.

I must say, I'm rather surprised to find myself in the same place again.

I would like to clarify that I am not at fault.

It still took me quite some time to climb out.

In Chapter 3,

I proceeded to walk down the same street.

I noticed a rather deep hole in the pavement.

I happened to notice it there.

I still fell in, though. I suppose it's a habit.

I was aware of my surroundings, my eyes were open.

I was aware of my location.

I take responsibility for what happened.

I decided to get out of that situation as quickly as I could.

In Chapter 4,

I found myself walking down the same street.

I noticed a rather deep hole in the sidewalk.

Perhaps I should take a different route.

In Chapter 5,

I decided to take a different route.

I believe that with self-growth and development, you will be more capable of dealing with any difficulties you encounter in the future. You do have a choice.

I'm not sure if you've considered seeking psychological counseling to help you better understand yourself, in addition to taking medication and reading to improve your mood and cognition. This might be a good time to think about getting involved in psychological counseling, to explore your resources and face your choices and challenges together.

I wish you the best!

I could feel the strong desire to survive and the hope for a better life. I think the questioner can certainly try to change his life and free himself from his pain. I support him in that!

Regarding the questioner's mention of how to balance a challenging life with real pain, I believe the word "challenge" may be a bit inappropriate here. It might be easier to understand and accept if you use the word "meet." Challenge is a mentality of tense confrontation, which will increase internal friction because the result is not satisfactory.

Embracing challenges is about having a calm and optimistic attitude towards them. It means accepting them and moving forward with a smile. It's about transforming everything you've experienced into your own ability and energy. It's about seeing yourself as part of a bigger picture and serving your own life. It's about not worrying about balancing your life anymore. In contrast, embracing challenges is a better way to live.

Lately, I've been wondering if people would still care so much about their problems and feel so tired if they didn't know about depression, anxiety, depressive disorder, and anxiety disorder. Looking back on my own experiences, I didn't know about these things at the time. When I felt bad, I would drink, exercise, go shopping, read, listen to music, etc., to keep my mind from wandering.

I believe that psychology can be a valuable tool for self-improvement and for helping others, but I don't think it's as effective as some people claim. It's more about embracing new experiences and seeking out more richness and excitement in life. The insights gained from these experiences can be far more valuable than the help psychology can provide. So, I think the questioner can choose not to be trapped by depression and anxiety, and can choose to accept them and become one with oneself, becoming a stronger self. This includes all kinds of things with family members, which can all be accepted as one's own strength and energy.