How to choose job opportunities that can achieve a balance with future family life?

Hello! I can totally feel your inner turmoil, helplessness, anxiety, and desire for understanding and support right now.

I just want to say that there is never a one-step solution to life. Besides dreams, what do you think? For you, the key to better relieving the current inner turmoil, helplessness, and anxiety is to first try to find a job that can support yourself alone. If it matches your passion, that would be perfect!

It's so great that you made the choice to return to your hometown! It shows that you were ready for the job situation, treatment, and practical problems you would face when you came back.

Moreover, you have a clear awareness of the role you have always played in your family of origin, that of the one being taken care of. You also blame yourself for being somewhat incompetent at the moment, which shows that you want to make changes from within and that you are dissatisfied with your current self.

So, when it comes to choosing a career, getting married, and taking care of your parents, what is your own inner choice and decision? We all have to make these big life choices at some point, and it can be really hard to know what to do. Do you really want to accept your parents' advice and opinions?

It's totally normal to feel unsure about making changes and facing your own life choices and decisions independently. It's not about being good or bad, right or wrong. It's about being brave and taking responsibility for your choices.

I know this might be tough, but I'm here to support you. You've got this! You just need to make choices and decisions on your own and prioritize the real problems you are facing. You'll know what to do.

At the same time, you should also try to learn to accept yourself, cultivate self-confidence, enhance your sense of self-worth, and cultivate some interests and passions in your spare time at work. You should also learn more to improve yourself, so that you can see your own shortcomings and inadequacies, but also affirm and appreciate the more bright spots and advantages in yourself. You can keep a gratitude journal in your life to cultivate self-confidence and enhance your sense of self-worth.

Hi, I'm Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Center. I just wanted to say that the world and I love you!

Hello, dear questioner!

I'm Yi Ming, your heart exploration coach!

I'd absolutely love to chat with you about how to make choices! Once I understand your thoughts on the matter, I'll be ready to dive in.

1. Follow your heart and compare the two options!

At some point in our lives, we all get to decide how to make a choice!

Making choices is an exciting part of life!

Which job to take, when to get married, etc. – the possibilities are endless!

All of these choices have a significant impact on our lives, and they're all worth it!

In particular, will working abroad for two years affect the marriage?

This is a great way to weigh up the pros and cons of the issues we've considered!

To solve this kind of problem, you can draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper to divide it into two columns. Then, get ready for the fun part! Spend three or four days thinking about it.

It's a great idea to list the pros and cons of various situations during the thinking process!

I highly recommend you try this method!

Now for the fun part! You can assign different points to the considerations you have made.

For example, going abroad brings financial income!

Is it going to be a great step for your future?

What about just taking any old job? It could be a great opportunity to gain valuable experience and explore different career paths! How is the financial situation? How would you rate it?

Not going abroad may be beneficial to the marriage. How many points would you give it?

Not going abroad may be beneficial to the marriage. How many points can you give it?

Absolutely! The impact of going abroad on the marriage is totally within manageable limits.

Let's find out if the other party is up for going abroad! And if not, there are plenty of other solutions out there.

Using a method like this, after comparing the list, you'll be amazed at how clear it becomes!

2. When we make a choice at the moment, it is only necessary to make the best decision we know—and we can do that!

When we feel like we're at a crossroads in life, it's time to make the right choice!

In this case, there's no need to worry about making the "right" or "perfect" choice. Instead, when faced with a choice, we should ask ourselves what we value and what we like, and then make a comparison.

Even if it turns out to be a less than optimal choice, it's still a choice!

Life is always changing, and it's amazing!

And sometimes, detours are absolutely beautiful!

Guess what! No choice will affect our whole life.

So just be bold and make the best decision you know so far!

If we don't have a suitable marriage partner at the moment, there's no reason why we can't go abroad instead!

The internet is full of amazing online dating stories!

Or you can even maintain a marriage in a foreign country for a period of time!

Absolutely! How we view going abroad is so important.

Absolutely! When making these choices, you can also consult with your parents and family members.

Gathering opinions from a wide range of sources is a great way to get a more comprehensive perspective!

And the best part is, in the end, you get to listen to yourself!

Because this is our own life, and it's a great one!

Your parents and others may not approve, but you must think it is the best!

Everyone will have a different answer when faced with a choice—and that's a good thing!

Some people say that choices are not about right or wrong, but about life experiences. Others believe that life should be well-planned to minimize mistakes.

I'd love to know what you think! What's your attitude?

I highly recommend you read this amazing book called "Choice: Why I Chose Not What I Want?" The author provides an in-depth and fascinating analysis of the issue of choice.

If you're interested, you've got to read it!

Please, just share these!

Wishing you the very best!

Dear question asker,

I have carefully considered your question on the platform and am fully cognizant of your current emotional state. It is evident that you are grappling with a plethora of conflicting emotions, which has led to a state of indecision regarding your future.

I will endeavor to provide an analysis and classification of the available options.

The individual in question is currently situated in the following circumstances:

He is currently 29 years old and the youngest of three siblings. He was raised in an affluent family and never had to worry about financial constraints. He pursued a degree in accounting and has since resigned from two positions in a major urban center. He recently relocated to his hometown in Taiyuan, where the cost of living is relatively low but job opportunities are scarce. Additionally, he is confronted with the challenge of his parents' expectations regarding marriage.

In regard to the initial decision,

In accordance with your parents' expectations, secure employment in your hometown. Despite the potential for a modest income, you may opt to marry first (the blind date arranged by your parents is not aligned with your preferences). This approach allows you to remain close to home, enabling you to balance work and family responsibilities in the future. This is a relatively secure and widely accepted option in your parents' eyes. This choice may not align with your personal preferences, but it is a stable and widely accepted route.

The second decision is as follows:

To enter the state-owned enterprise in the hometown, one must work on an overseas project for two years. Working abroad can result in financial gain. The down payment for purchasing a house is generally not a significant issue. It can address staffing challenges and provide a multitude of options for selecting a spouse in the future. Additionally, it can offer some bargaining leverage, which can be a valuable experience in itself. However, it may require time to adjust to this new situation. This choice may potentially address the issue of forced marriage by parents as a temporary solution.

It is important to consider one's inner desires when making decisions.

It is my objective to earn a substantial income in the future and to achieve a relatively balanced work-life-family life. What course of action should I pursue?

In light of the aforementioned considerations, it can be concluded that:

1. If one is seeking spiritual freedom, does not wish to be compelled by one's parents to enter into matrimony, does not desire to contravene one's heart's desire and spend the remainder of one's life with an individual with whom one is not in love, and has no intention of marrying within the next few years, then it is not implausible to join a state-owned enterprise in one's hometown and gain overseas experience for two years. At the very least, it is not an unfavourable opportunity. One can, of course, consider it carefully and act only after careful consideration.

2. It is important to recognize that your parents' intentions are ultimately for your own benefit. They do not intend for you to work excessively. As the youngest child and a male, you are likely to receive more affection and attention. They may encourage you to remain in your hometown, secure a stable and long-term position, and marry a spouse who can manage the household. This may be perceived as your ideal life by your parents, and from their perspective, there is nothing inherently problematic with it. As the saying goes, "pity the hearts of parents all over the world." Your parents are no different. However, it is essential to question whether this is truly the life you desire.

One must inquire of oneself what one truly desires.

One might inquire as to whether a stable job or a lackluster marriage is the optimal choice.

One might consider whether it would be preferable to remain in one's hometown and lead a stable life, or to pursue the ideal type one desires within.

3. It is often suggested that we should aspire to achieve our dreams. What if they were to come true? We can all attempt to pursue our aspirations while we are young and travel to locations that inspire us in order to become the best version of ourselves. However, it is important to note that all ideals must be translated into tangible actions. Discussions about ideals are ultimately futile if they do not lead to concrete outcomes. Those who merely wish to remain idle will not succeed.

It is essential to learn how to set goals and achieve them in a step-by-step manner, as well as to create a personal career plan. This plan should take into account the individual's personal and professional aspirations, including whether the goal is to enhance one's skills and knowledge or to gain experience in a reputable company.

These are all factors that require consideration at this time.

4. Regardless of the decision made, it is essential to maintain composure, clarity of thought, and resilience to external influences. The opinions of parents and friends can serve as valuable references, but should not be the sole determining factor. It is crucial to focus on one's immediate desires and aspirations. Distractions and indecision can impede progress. Once a decision is made, it is essential to focus on the path to its realization.

5. When individuals are uncertain, it is advisable to avoid environments that may be perceived as confusing and to engage in activities in a novel setting. It is beneficial to practice relaxation techniques, engage in introspection, and seek guidance from reliable sources, as this can facilitate the process of making informed decisions.

I am not seeking any particular outcome, and it is my hope that my response will prove motivating for you. I extend my affection to the world and to you.

You might still be hoping to work in your hometown. There are so many advantages to that! You can live with your parents, have a permanent job, and find a local wife to live with. Your wife will also be able to take care of the elderly conveniently.

You're in your thirties now, which is a great time to start thinking about what kind of stable work you'll need in the future to nourish yourself well. You've probably never had to worry about anything since you were a child, and you've been taken care of by other family members.

However, in the future, you have the exciting opportunity to exert more of your subjective initiative, take the initiative to face your life and your family, and be able to do something meaningful and contribute to your family of origin.

As the crow returns to the nest, it's time to give back to your family of origin! You've already received care from your two sisters and parents, and you're ready to establish a foothold in a big city. You're ready to move on from a small city, so you can consider returning to your hometown and working for a state-owned enterprise!

You've got this! Although you are required to work on overseas projects for two years, you can do it! You just need to be able to endure loneliness and have a clear plan for your work, so that you can truly know what you need. At the same time, I recommend that you take a career personality test and a career needs test for a one-on-one interpretation, so that you can have a clearer concept of work and family planning. You've got this! Good luck!

ZQ?