How to cope when unable to immerse oneself in learning and overthinking when seeing others work harder than oneself?

You're a great student! Everyone wants to be excellent at school.

Every student has high standards, which can be self-defeating. If your expectations are too high, it will be difficult to meet them. We all have other responsibilities outside of school. If you are too stressed, you will not be able to learn effectively.

You know these principles, but you can't do it. You want to get rid of these thoughts, but you can't help but think about them. You understand that a thought is troubling you, and it prevents you from learning. How can you change this thought to help you learn better?

If your classmate makes you feel uncomfortable and affects your concentration, how can you achieve good results?

I hope you can relax more and have a good learning environment. This will help you become a well-rounded student with good abilities and integrity.

Good morning, host.

From your words, I sense your current sense of helplessness and confusion. I'll start by offering you a big hug.

It seems that you used to be able to concentrate on your studies, but you're finding it more difficult to do so now. You think that your noisy deskmate might be the reason for this.

If I might suggest, we could perhaps take a moment to analyze the situation as described by the original poster.

Could I ask why the behavior of your classmate is annoying you? Is there perhaps a reason behind it? According to current psychological explanations, behind every symptom or problem there is an unmet desire. Perhaps it would be helpful to think about why grades are so important to you. Is there a reason behind it?

In light of these circumstances, it might be helpful to consider whether there are any changes that could be made. For instance, it could be beneficial to communicate with your deskmate. Additionally, it might be worthwhile to speak with the teacher about adjusting your seating arrangement. Have you had the opportunity to do so?

If the above suggestions do not yield the desired results, it might be helpful to consider other options, such as reviewing after class and previewing before class.

It might be helpful to remember that concentration is a natural thing, and that there is no specific way to control it. Perhaps it would be beneficial to accept that you are not currently focused, and to focus on ways to improve in other areas.

I wish you the best of luck in passing the CET 6 exam.

Greetings, To whom it may concern,

I am Liu Yong, a psychological counselor. When I read your description, I was prompted to consider the experiences of my own daughter, who is also enrolled in school and has been absent from home for an extended period. I was immediately struck by the similarities between your description and those of my daughter, prompting me to wonder if she might also be experiencing a similar level of anxiety. If she were to encounter such a problem, what would be the most appropriate course of action? I hope that the advice provided by the teacher will prove to be of some assistance to you.

Firstly, it is evident that your current state is characterised by anxiety. You have indicated that your classmate's actions have caused you distress, preventing you from concentrating in class and leading to feelings of distraction, anger and inability to fully engage with your studies. These reactions can be attributed to the presence of anxiety. Consequently, the issue at hand is not your classmate's behaviour, but rather, your own anxiety.

It would be beneficial to ascertain the source of the anxiety. Could it be the CET-6 exam?

Alternatively, could the cause be the monotony of recent experiences? Or might there be another explanation?

It would be prudent to calm down and consider the matter in a more serious light.

We will now turn our attention to the issue of anxiety. In general, anxiety can be understood as a response to uncertainty about future events and excessive worry. In the context of our current living environment, which is characterised by a high level of complexity and a vast amount of information, it is not surprising that our brains are unable to rest for even a moment. As a result, we lose touch with our own existence and become subject to constant commands from our brains, which urge us to engage in a multitude of activities and thoughts. Among young people, there is a tendency to dwell on the future, leading to a sense of unease about whether they will be able to perform well in the future and the potential adverse consequences this may have.

One might inquire as to the location of the future. It can be argued that the future is situated within the present, specifically within the present moment, encompassing every minute experienced in the present, every thought, and every action. Given the interdependence of the present and the future, it can be proposed that the present is of greater consequence than the future.

To illustrate, consider the CET-6 exam. If one were to memorize a few additional words and consider the possibility of not doing well on the exam, etc., in the present moment, would not the probability of doing well on the exam be higher?

It is therefore necessary to develop the capacity to focus on the present. One may practise mindfulness meditation, eliminate superfluous distractions and concentrate on the present moment. This will result in a clear and peaceful mind, thus providing a strong inner energy.

I am Liu Yong, a practicing psychologist.

Good morning,

It is important to encourage yourself in order to facilitate problem-solving in an efficient manner.

"Attention anxiety/how-to-cope-with-the-habit-of-staying-up-late-due-to-lack-of-concentration-6295.html" target="_blank">concentration" is a state that can only be achieved under certain conditions. In a noisy environment or when the individual is physically or mentally uncomfortable, it is difficult to focus on the present. However, in real life, especially in collective situations, it is difficult to have an absolutely quiet and comfortable environment. Therefore, to concentrate in a classroom setting requires certain "thinking habits," that is, to exercise the habit of concentration, and to eliminate unnecessary distractions as much as possible.

During my time taking professional courses, I found my colleague's behaviour bothersome. She frequently concurred with the instructor's statements and occasionally mumbled to herself, uttering remarks that I found inconsequential.

The most significant aspect of university that we found surprising was the freedom of time and space. We were able to make some choices, which made us feel like adults. However, our mental strength was not yet sufficient to cope with this. Even if we encountered situations that were within our abilities and that we could handle with flexibility, due to our sensitivity and inferiority complex, we would immediately revert to our old ways. We were afraid, nervous, and did not dare face the situation independently. Just like the "student who is not quiet" in the example, since we are sitting next to each other at the same table, our communication is undoubtedly the most convenient. When faced with the trouble that the other person inadvertently brings to us, we can use communication to remind the other person and calm the matter down. If it is still impossible to solve the problem fundamentally, university seats are self-selected, and we can adjust our seats ourselves to get away from the "noisy" environment, rather than rationalizing the impact of the other person and putting ourselves in a difficult position.

Why am I concerned about the actions and behaviors of others, which are causing me anxiety?

1. Anxiety is a result of concerns.

Anxiety is a natural response to perceived threats. When we focus on potential dangers in the present, it can lead to a state of stress that triggers internal fear and unease.

2. It is also influenced by the broader context of one's life.

Individuals react differently to the same stimuli. This is due to differences in upbringing and personality. When individuals are shaped to be easily influenced by paying attention to others and caring about others' evaluations, they will display sensitivity in their behavior and care about what others think.

3. Lack of maturity and emotional restraint.

If we were to experience a headache and fever, we would not be anxious. Instead, we would first assess the situation and then find a solution, whether that be medication or a doctor. Our emotional state would remain stable, and we would not become more anxious. In fact, the process of finding a solution would allow us to release our emotions and return to a stable state. Similarly, when we feel threatened or conflicted about something, expressing our feelings can relieve the pressure we are experiencing. However, if we suppress our feelings, we will not be able to see any progress, which will trigger deep anxiety.

Finally, in regard to the "interference" of classmates, the question owner is encouraged to express their ideas in a forthright manner, as it is a fact that such behavior causes distress. However, it is also essential to learn to respect and raise questions and suggestions in a polite manner. If the other person is unable to accept this, it is recommended that the question owner simply change seats to avoid an environment that causes negative emotions.

Let's proceed.

What others say and do, and even small changes in the world around us, can make it hard to study. Seeing others having fun while you're stuck at home can make you jealous.

When you see others working harder, you feel you should work harder too. You did well at university but had problems with your neighbour. They were noisy and distracting.

You are angry because your tablemate is annoying and making you anxious and angry. After comparing and contrasting, you even feel that this person may have better concentration.

It makes you feel unfair. University is not one-on-one learning. You can change your learning environment or try to adapt to it.

Switch seats. Don't sit next to this table. Don't worry about the little things. You still have more career planning to think about, and you still have some important exams to prepare for. You really can't waste time on things like how so-and-so is doing at the same table.

If you don't understand or accept it, change your position. If you can't, talk to the other person or your teacher. If that doesn't work, adjust your attitude. Others want to control the volume, but you also need to accept things. This is not a world for one person, everyone has their own temperament. You can miss home, you may be anxious about the future, it's best to talk to a counselor. I wish you well.

ZQ?

My name is Gu Yi, and I am a modest and self-effacing individual who maintains a consistent demeanor.

Identify a location within your own personal space.

In the previous semester, I achieved satisfactory academic results. Upon reflection, I realised that I was able to devote my full attention to my studies. However, this year I have been unable to replicate this level of success. I believe that this is due to the influence of my neighbouring desk-mate, whose voice disrupts my concentration. I have found that I am often unable to resist the influence of these external factors, whether intentionally or not.

Let us therefore examine this matter in closer detail. It may be argued that the table in question is not the same, but rather ourselves. It is frequently observed that an individual's mentality and psychology undergo a transformation as a consequence of the outcomes they have achieved. Furthermore, these changes are not always fully self-aware, which also influences our perceptions of the surrounding situation.

It is therefore necessary to identify the specific cause of the situation. If the issue is indeed related to the individual seated next to us, it may be possible to find a way to eliminate the internal monologue. It is notable that when an individual is fully engaged in the classroom, following the instructor's guidance and participating actively, the issue does not arise.

The following section will present a method for achieving mental calm.

The prolonged absence from one's residence will inevitably exert a discernible influence on one's psychological state, which in turn has precipitated the current state of emotional turbulence. It is therefore imperative to establish a designated space for emotional release, which can be effectively achieved through the effective management of one's emotions.

Studying is a process of quiet concentration and hard work. However, the ultimate outcome is a comparison of relative abilities, and this must be the reward for one's hard work. Therefore, only if we concentrate and work hard can we achieve better results. The actual outcome of our efforts will reveal the answer, so we must simply do our best for the sixth-grade exam.

The voice emanating from the desk adjacent to mine is, in fact, the voice of my subconscious. I have allowed this voice to exert influence over me. Consequently, I am able to alter this state and release my heart and mind fully, thereby ensuring that I can successfully navigate this period.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, questioner, I can empathize with you when you face the dilemma of being distracted from your studies. Many students have probably faced similar problems. Especially since you achieved good results last semester, it seems that you are now facing a dilemma that is making you feel confused and at a loss.

Please accept my sincere hope that my feelings and analysis will prove helpful to you in finding a way to solve the problem.

1. I don't know what kind of learning situation and interpersonal situation you were in before going to college, but from your writing, it seems that after getting excellent grades at the end of the semester, you have a sense of distinction within yourself and a desire to evaluate others. This seems to be a kind of dualistic cognitive thinking. Your deskmate's agreement and your own self-talk made you feel uncomfortable and uneasy, which was perceived by your subconscious mind as bad and intruded on your concentration. So you had to resist and resist, and the way you did so was at the expense of your own concentration, allowing you to divert your attention from studying, thus becoming distracted and irritable.

2. In the past, you gained a lot from every class, but now, because of the predicament you are in, you are unable to focus on the course content, which makes you feel frustrated with yourself. But at the same time, seeing this significant difference between before and now and the seemingly downward trend, you are experiencing a sense of helplessness. The more you want to find a solution to this situation quickly, the more you seem to need to be harsh on yourself. This goes back and forth, creating a cycle that is difficult to break. I suspect that you are usually very dedicated to your studies and work very hard. You don't allow yourself to be slow, sloppy or lazy, and you don't allow yourself to be anything but excellent, which is why you feel such frustration and worry.

3. The upcoming sixth-level exam and the longing to go home, combined with the current unsatisfactory state, may contribute to feelings of anxiety. It's important to remember that everyone has their own self-protection mechanisms.

It can be challenging to face the pressure of an exam with peace of mind, especially in the uncertain situation of your future development during the pandemic. It's natural to seek ways to protect yourself from stress. Could your excessive attention to your deskmate be a familiar avoidance strategy you're using to relieve the pressure and worry caused by the exam? This is a phenomenon called "frustration gain" in psychology.

I hope you will find it helpful to consider some general and targeted suggestions, and I encourage you to take the time to reflect on them.

1. Consider recognizing and accepting your current imperfect reality.

It can be challenging to accept the current reality when it differs from our ideal state. However, engaging in deep self-awareness and reflection can help us bridge the gap between our current situation and our aspirations. To do so, we must have the courage to acknowledge and accept our current reality, including any negative emotions that arise. These emotions often stem from our expectations that we can be better.

2. It might be helpful to find a peer to confide in and ask for help.

By focusing more of your attention on your classmate, you have actually relieved some of the pressure caused by your academic performance. However, it is possible that the consequences of being distracted have also affected your current learning and interpersonal relationships.

It might be helpful to consider expressing your repressed thoughts to your classmate in a way that seeks his forgiveness and help. There is a common saying in psychology that suggests that "all people and things that can trigger our negative emotions are worthy objects of study."

I believe your classmate may prove to be a valuable person in your learning journey.

3. It might be helpful to consider seeking assistance from teachers and professionals.

In light of the unpredictable circumstances of the ongoing pandemic, it is likely that many of us will experience varying degrees of psychosocial stress. When we feel that our stress management is not as effective as it could be, it can be helpful to seek guidance from teachers, parents, and professional counselors. By opening ourselves to new ways of thinking and strategies for coping, we can learn to manage stress more effectively and grow in the process.

Furthermore, it is a positive sign for college students to engage in sufficient self-exploration and actively seek help from professionals.

4. You can also help yourself in addition to seeking help actively.

You might find it helpful to read psychology books on emotional management, interpersonal communication, self-exploration, and so on. You could also read more books on positive psychology (such as Flow), which can provide useful solutions to problems. Additionally, consistent mindfulness meditation practice can be an effective way to improve concentration.

I hope that my sharing will be of some help to you. I wish you an early return to a focused and confident state of learning. I believe in the world and I love you.

Hello, I'm Flower.

Let's quote the original words of the questioner. Let's discuss this step by step. Let's identify the key to the problem. Let's share new ideas and approaches. Let's give examples. And let's show the world that I love you!

From the questioner's words, I feel anxiety. Psychology says, "Action is the best way to relieve anxiety." Let's try it together!

If you are distracted and have trouble concentrating in class, you need to take control of the situation.

You must prepare for the class before, during, and after, and move forward at your own pace.

"My classmate is very noisy during lectures. She keeps agreeing with the teacher and sometimes talks to herself, saying things that I don't think are meaningful. It bothers me when I hear her, and I can't concentrate on the lecture like I used to." "She might be more focused and do better than me, but I'm not going to let her distract me. I'm going to focus on my studies like I did last semester."

The questioner's train of thought has clearly been interrupted by the person sitting next to him. It's evident that seeing other people working hard makes him anxious. He should also review his own efforts.

Other people's efforts are efforts, and so are ours. Just because you see other people's efforts doesn't mean they're necessarily greater than yours.

Not necessarily! I want to say to the original poster first, seeing your own efforts also allows you to take a temporary break, because taking a break is for working harder!

Furthermore, effort and result are not directly proportional. It is more important to find your own direction of effort and not compare it to others.

I have exam anxiety, I haven't been home for a long time, and I'm not in a good state.

You have to do it to find out! There's no use in just thinking about it.

"There are many factors making me anxious now. I will figure out why I can't study as mindfully as before."

Stop dwelling on why you're anxious and why you can't concentrate on your studies. Focus on improving your learning efficiency! If you're worried about failing the TEM-6 exam, practice some past questions in advance and do a set of them carefully. Practice listening, word filling, reading, writing, and translation to identify your strengths. Make a list of writing formulas at the last minute, read tips for cramming before the exam, and create a daily study plan and stick to it.

At the same time, you must allow yourself to be less serious. It would be exhausting to be serious about everything. Make a plan to do the things that require serious attention, and take it easy on the things that don't.

Take care of your emotions.

"Also, due to school policy, I haven't been home for a while."

Home is our haven. It's only natural to feel the warmth of home is far away after a long time away. But it's okay. Just give home a video call, chat with your family, and stay a little longer.

Spend time with your roommates and classmates in the dormitory. Get involved with a group of people and you'll feel less lonely. Learn to get along with yourself, learn to be alone, and learn to give yourself warmth.

Love yourself!

I am confident that the above sharing will be helpful to the questioner, and I wish you well.

Even though you're an adult, you still have an attachment to your parents deep down. Because of school regulations, you haven't been home for a long time, and you haven't realized that your subconscious mind is suppressed, wanting to go home and see your parents. Getting into college also means taking a step closer to adulthood, and it means that you'll face more separation from your parents.

This is a kind of separation anxiety. It shows up as attention and dislike for certain behaviors your classmate exhibits.

You're annoyed with your classmate for agreeing with the teacher. The teacher can be seen as a parent or authority figure in psychological terms. Because you have this unconscious separation anxiety, you'll probably adopt a reverse-formation defense mechanism to resist it.

The term "reverse formation" refers to the expression of emotional behavior that is the opposite of what you feel inside. You dislike your classmate for agreeing with the teacher, but you actually want to do the same thing in order to alleviate the separation anxiety aroused in your heart as the exam approaches. However, because this unconscious separation anxiety makes you very uneasy, you have adopted a defense mechanism of reverse formation to make yourself ignore that part of your deeper unease.

You might want to take a moment to see if you have any of these deeper feelings.

Why didn't you think your class performance was affected by your neighbor before? Think about it.

I hope some of this analysis is helpful and not too subjective.