How to cope with feelings of inferiority, lack of confidence, and mild self-doubt in the future?

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I commend you for your awareness and for finding an outlet.

After reading your description, I have sorted out two issues.

The questioner is not confident. He has never been a toady and has always been very simple-minded since high school.

I gave it my all, but I didn't win the competition at work, and my leader wasn't impressed.

I'm not young anymore, I don't have a partner, and I'm lost about the future.

Once you've answered the question, you need to identify what happened in high school that made you feel this way. Since high school, have you had any successful experiences that made you feel confident?

From reading the questioner's description, it's clear that they're a kind and warm person.

The questioner said that they work very hard but have not achieved their ideal expectations. I give you a warm hug. It is normal in life to not be able to live up to expectations. If the questioner changes their thinking, this time they did not succeed. That does not mean that our efforts were in vain. It also does not mean that they will not succeed next time. It's okay, as long as we don't give up, we will definitely find our own path to success.

The questioner said that they are not finding a partner despite being of an age to do so. The current social phenomenon is late marriage, and many people marry late. I am 32 years old and also have no partner. Of course, occasionally I have some small emotions, but it's okay, this is all normal. After all, marriage is for a better life.

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, was certain that while a person's childhood experiences will eventually fade and even disappear from their conscious mind, they will stubbornly remain hidden in the subconscious and have a lasting influence on their entire life. He believed it was okay for everyone to have their own little inferiority complex.

The questioner came here to find help or to talk, and I'm certain they have their own expectations. So, what are the expectations of the questioner? If your expectations are met, how will you feel, and what will be different?

You need to decide who will be the first to notice your change.

I have suggestions for the questioner that I am confident will help.

First, adjust your mindset and become one with your body and mind.

If you do everything you say you will every day and follow through on your words, you will see a significant improvement in your self-confidence in no time. Following through on your words means doing what you say you will do.

Your words and actions must align with your inner emotional feelings, whether you're talking to others or to yourself.

You can do this! Believe in yourself and your abilities.

Strengthen yourself psychologically in a positive way and avoid negative self-talk. When you encounter difficulties, don't give up.

You must tell yourself, "I can do it!", "I'm great!", "I can do better!", and so on. Repeat these confident words to yourself. This is an important form of positive self-suggestion that helps you improve your self-confidence.

Psychological research has confirmed this.

You must believe in the power of accumulation.

No matter how big a rock is, it cannot stop a seed from sprouting. The reason is that once the seed starts to sprout, the division of cells, although not fast, will never end. Everyone knows the truth of "a drop of water can wear through a stone," and it's time to believe it. Everyone at the starting point is like a cell or a drop of water, but most people mistakenly believe or hope that they are strong and sharp like a laser beam at the starting point—they are not.

You must learn to be patient and use this quality to your advantage. Wait for the benefits and strength that will come from long-term accumulation.

You must establish a correct perception.

You are stronger than you think. You have grown up and can survive on your own, even without the support or recognition of others. When you are still feeling anxious over a casual remark from someone else, take a moment to remind yourself of your strengths.

Don't doubt yourself.

Don't doubt yourself. When you doubt yourself, you lose confidence. When you do things, your lack of confidence is exposed. Others may not have noticed you at all, but your doubt in yourself and your lack of confidence will cause others to have a negative opinion of you.

You must accept yourself.

Psychology says people need to "accept themselves." I disagree. Everyone has shortcomings. Should we ignore these shortcomings?

This is just an excuse for laziness and a lack of desire to improve.

This is a common misconception about self-acceptance. Self-acceptance refers to the extent to which a person can accept all of their characteristics, whether they are positive or negative.

A person can accept their own shortcomings without hating themselves and feeling that they are "good enough." Self-acceptance is the foundation of loving yourself. If a person cannot accept themselves, their relationship with themselves is full of criticism and negativity. There is simply no way to establish love in this case.

Regarding marriage, you must first learn to take care of yourself and love yourself. When you do this, someone will naturally come to love you.

A good marriage is the icing on the cake, not the coal in the snow. You and I both deserve it.

Come on! The world and I love you!

Hello, questioner. From your writing, I sense a certain doubt in your self-assessment, as well as some discomfort with workplace frustration. I will try to describe my point of view, with the hope that my next answer will be helpful to you.

In your self-assessment, you have used a lot of question marks, which may indicate that you have some doubts about certain characteristics. You have also described some anxieties caused by certain things, which make you work especially hard and conscientiously. However, after the results of the competition, you may still feel unsatisfied, which could lead to a sense of frustration.

You have described many positive qualities about yourself, which is wonderful. However, it seems that you still feel that you lack certain skills or abilities.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether this is truly the case. It's possible that a great deal of inner self-doubt is related not only to family experiences, but also to some of your own previous experiences. You might find it beneficial to read more books on the subject and try to cultivate your self-confidence and sense of self-esteem. Even if you ask a lot of questions, it may be because of a failed job interview that has caused you to doubt your abilities. It's understandable that everyone will have that kind of sad and painful experience where they have put in a lot of effort, but the rewards are still unsatisfactory.

Perhaps what we could do is look at the situation we are in with a developmental perspective and believe that we will continue to move forward and keep heading towards a better future.

I wish you the best.

I would like to express my love for the world and for you.