How to cope with the pressure from family and friends to get married during the Spring Festival holiday?

Hello, question asker.

As the Chinese New Year approaches, many people are afraid of being pressured to get married. They dread the holiday season, especially since many of their elders are also pressuring them to get married.

Some people who encourage you to get married may not be genuinely concerned, but may also be running out of things to talk about.

They also care about their children's grades.

And when you get married, you'll have kids.

Many relatives only see you once a year, so they don't really know what you're up to, how you're doing, what's worth celebrating, or what difficulties you're having. The only topic they can think of is to ask unmarried adults about their relationships.

Some people really do care about your love life.

And they can't just marry someone and get married, right?

At the end of the day, everyone who gets married hopes to be happy.

It takes time to get to know each other and adjust to each other's lifestyles.

You can ask your elders to introduce suitable candidates, which is also a great way to find alternative candidates. Even if it doesn't work out, you can get to know what the opposite sex thinks about marriage partners, which will help you communicate better with the opposite sex.

It might also be the case that you already have a crush on someone and you're planning to confess your feelings when you go back.

But there's no way of knowing whether the confession will be successful. It's just creating a beautiful illusion for them.

While marriage isn't the be-all and end-all of life, having the right life partner means they'll support you on your life journey and make you feel loved.

As a wealthy man once said after surgery, money can't buy the feeling of his wife handing him a glass of water when he was thirsty after surgery.

And this kind of understanding and responsibility takes time to develop in a relationship.

Nobody's a perfect partner from the start.

It's important to clarify your views on choosing a partner and distinguish what you cannot accept.

It's also a good idea to expand your social circle.

It's also a good idea to develop an interest in the opposite sex and not live in your own world.

I think you'll meet someone you'll want to spend the rest of your life with. Best wishes.

Dear author, may I offer you a warm hug?

I believe I understand your problem. From your description, I can sense your confusion at the moment. The Spring Festival is traditionally a time of family reunion and joy. However, it is true that some elders or relatives may express concern about our personal problems, which can make us feel uncomfortable. I can see that the questioner is very understanding and has a good awareness of themselves. They don't want to hurt their good intentions and are looking for a feasible solution. This is a good start. I would like to offer some suggestions:

1. It would be beneficial to express the care and understanding of our elders first.

2. If it is not too much trouble, could you kindly provide a brief overview of your current situation, including your work, studies, and living arrangements? This will help your elders gain a better understanding of your circumstances and avoid any unnecessary concerns.

3. You might also consider expressing your attitude towards marriage. For example, you may believe in fate and be actively looking for the right person, but you would prefer to take your time.

4. If you feel a bit uncomfortable, you might consider changing the subject to something more lighthearted or a topic that everyone can relate to.

5. You may also wish to express your gratitude for your elders' advice and thank them for their concern.

If I might make one more suggestion, you could respond in a humorous way throughout the conversation to help keep yourself in a relaxed state of mind. Have you considered whether there are any close siblings among your peers? You could also temporarily team up if you encounter such a situation.

It might be helpful to consider that many things have multiple sides, not just the one we initially perceive. It could be beneficial to examine issues from a variety of perspectives in the future. You have already done a commendable job, and it is evident that you have considered the elders or relatives with great care.

Additionally, it is important to remember that we cannot take care of everyone's emotions. Just as we cannot please everyone, not every excuse we make will make us happy. However, when we approach this topic with honesty and openness, we can gain a sense of ease. Ultimately, we are living our lives for ourselves, not for others to see.

How might we respond when we feel stressed or emotional? Here's a suggestion for the questioner.

It is important to remember that controlling our emotions does not mean they will disappear entirely. Learning to release them in a healthy way, through activities such as running, meditation, reading, or listening to music, is an important step. However, it is also crucial to avoid letting our emotions build up. I have every confidence that you will do a great job.

I hope these suggestions will be helpful to you. I look forward to seeing you grow and develop, and I am confident that the world will embrace you for who you are.