How to cultivate mental energy and how to break free from negative energy from family members?

Hello. I am honored to answer your question and I am confident that my suggestions will be helpful to you.

We must learn to regulate our own psychological energy and get rid of the negative influences brought to us by our family of origin.

For the former, we must seek appropriate psychological counseling assistance to help us regulate our emotions or learn methods to regulate emotions, restore mental energy, sort out and improve our outlook on life, and find a direction for ourselves.

The latter has two levels.

If your financial situation and personal circumstances allow, you should live on your own, away from the environment that affects you.

The second level is spiritual detachment. This is how you restore your mental energy and decide your own life, as mentioned above.

You must have a strong, firm belief, know your own values and style of doing things, and do what you feel is right and want to do.

The essence of communication or getting along in the family is to protect our physical and mental health. As long as we are not affected, their ideas can be maintained without our interference. We will not hurt ourselves because of their interference.

We can then consider whether to reconcile with them or how to do so. If we need this in the future, we can seek targeted assistance from a psychologist to learn about family counseling or parent-child counseling.

You will find a way to adjust that suits you better without affecting your physical and mental health and your life, either through self-reflection or with the assistance of a professional.

The world and I love you!

Hello, question asker! I can see the confusion you are facing now, but I'm here to help! Hugs to you!

I'm so excited to help you understand why your family gave you negative energy for the first 20 years of your life!

This may be related to their own family of origin, which is a fascinating area to explore!

When they were growing up, their parents probably gave them more negative emotions.

If you grow up in this kind of environment, they will only know how to pass on these negative patterns to their children—but you can break the cycle!

There's a great saying in psychology that I want to share with you: what we don't have, we can't give to others.

And there's one more thing you need to know!

That is: parents are also your parents for the first time, so they will have their own limitations; and there are things they don't do well. But that just means you get to learn from them!

You can do this! You just need to strengthen your own heart so that you will not be easily influenced by their negative emotions.

So, how do you make yourself strong?

Absolutely! You can read more books in your spare time, especially psychology-related ones.

Reading more books is a great way to make your core more stable!

And you'll be able to stand strong against any negative emotions from parents or family members!

I really, truly hope that you can solve your problem soon!

Now, all I can think of is the above!

I really hope my answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner! I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!

I'm so excited to see what the future holds for you!

Hello there!

A little pat on the shoulder never hurts, does it?

This is a great question! While there's no need to dwell on the past, it's also important to recognize and embrace your inner energy. Many people find that as they grow up, they're still affected by the negative energy of their original family. It can be tough, but there are ways to move forward. The key is to focus on the present, which means not letting emotions affect you too easily.

But here's the thing: knowing is easy, doing is hard. We all get distracted from time to time. Part of the reason is that we haven't yet tapped into our full mental energy, and the other part is that we tend to believe that past hurts will continue to affect the future. The good news is that in the individual psychology proposed by the wonderful psychologist Adler, it's made clear that although individuals will be affected by the past, it's not an absolute factor that determines the present and the future. By changing how we see ourselves, we can still change our own development.

Let's say, for instance, that a child has been suppressed by their parents for a long time. They'll likely develop a habit of negative thinking and self-doubt. It's so easy for them to say, "I probably won't be able to finish it," whenever they encounter a challenge. Why? Because they think they're inherently bad at everything. In other words, their self-evaluation at this time still comes from their past self-perception. But here's the good news! If they switch their thinking and just focus on the present, they may be able to fight hard to finish it. And who knows? The result might just change!

So, the good news is that you can change the impact of your past experiences by making positive changes in your life. Adler believed that you can transform your life and goals to create a brighter future. However, it's important to understand that the influence of your original family lasts for 20 years, and it takes time to heal and grow. It also requires long-term conscious self-training.

First, you have to learn to let go of the negative emotions from the past. This means you have to learn to accept yourself, and that's okay! By acknowledging your feelings and accepting your true emotions, you can cut off the influence of negative emotions. Second, you have to set boundaries. The way the original family brings negative influences is through the blurring of boundaries. So, when you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to say "no." This is to set boundaries and also to divide responsibilities.

It's also really important to have a good support system in place. As we grow up, we gain more and more resources around us. First, we learn to live independently and no longer rely on our parents. Second, we form other close relationships which give us lots of emotional support. This helps us to get through tough times when we encounter setbacks, building our resilience. It doesn't matter if we don't have close relationships, as long as we have a positive outlook and a healthy relationship with the world around us, we can draw on that when we need it.

Remember, the cultivation of mental energy requires continuous attention and energy input. So, take care of yourself, face setbacks, and stop treating yourself with unreasonable evaluations. Instead, give yourself more affirmation and acceptance. With time, you'll be able to find the mental energy that belongs to you. If you need more help, professional psychological counseling is always an option.

I really hope these answers help you!

Warmest regards!

Hello. I'm honored you asked for help. I hope sharing your request gives you support.

Awareness is the first step to change. If you can recognize the trauma in your past, are willing to change, and are an adult, you can heal yourself.

Treat yourself and others the way you want to be treated. Your expectations and willingness for your parents to change are valid.

Your parents didn't mean to harm you. They were also unloved as children and couldn't love others. They brought their own trauma to you.

Your family has hurt you, but they have also loved and supported you. You wouldn't be who you are today without them. Use this love and support to rewrite your memories.

You can record your trauma in writing. This helps you see, express, and release painful emotions. It also helps you understand your trauma better. You can then explore your needs and learn to respond to them in a healthy way.

You can't get rid of the trauma you experienced growing up. Accept it and allow yourself to have this part of the trauma. While it brings you pain, it also brings you growth. What do you think?

I'm Lily, the Q&A Museum's little ear. The world and I love you.