How to deal with a poor work social environment and not feeling happy?

It's about adapting to yourself.

The workplace is not home. People have different views. There will be conflicts.

You need to adapt to yourself, not your environment. If you're meticulous, a small thing may bother you and make you feel bad.

You think it's the conflict with colleagues that causes you pain, but it's your perspective that causes it.

Get used to yourself. Understand that your opinions cause your emotions. Then you'll understand that you're the source of everything.

If you change, so will they.

Once you know the root of the problem, you need to change yourself. You can't control your colleague's personality, so you have to change yourself.

You reject other people's accusations and reprimands because you cannot accept them.

If you don't accept it, it will keep coming back.

Acceptance is a breakthrough. Breakthroughs change your perceptions and perspectives.

You control your life.

Bless you!

Hello, questioner!

Let's sort it out together! If you're unhappy with your work environment and don't feel like doing your job, I'm here to help.

From the questioner's description, it's clear that we're wired to analyze the reasons behind things that happen to us. And there are two fascinating ways to analyze: internal attribution and external attribution.

Internal attribution is all about looking for the cause in yourself. It's about taking responsibility and recognizing that you have the power to make a change. External attribution, on the other hand, is about looking for the cause in the external environment. This could be your colleagues and leaders, or even the general working environment, like the atmosphere.

The questioner's attribution model is mainly external attribution, which is great because it means there's room for improvement! Colleagues have bad tempers and there is poor communication between colleagues, which is an opportunity for the leader to step in and encourage employees.

I truly believe that these are the genuine feelings in our hearts. They mainly come from emotional perception and are a common defense mechanism used by most people to protect themselves. The great thing about this is that our hearts will feel more secure. The not-so-great thing is that the mentality of escape will cause us to shrink back and miss out on the chance for self-growth.

There are two ways to deal with this, and they're both great! One is to change the external environment. For example, you can actively communicate with colleagues and leaders.

You can do it! Expressing your feelings and needs without emotion is a great way to start. Take the initiative to explain the handover, take the initiative to organize the patient's information, and ask the other person to wait a while. Do things well as required by the leader and be as professional and "perfect" as possible. You've got this!

In other words, we have the amazing opportunity to do our best to meet the reasonable needs of others! To achieve this, we get to overcome the emotional reactions caused by emotional thinking. These emotions are intuitive and avoidant, and they do not have a positive effect on solving problems.

Have you ever wondered how your brain works when you're faced with a situation? It's truly fascinating! Intuitive feelings are the direct responses of the external organs such as the eyes, ears, and nose to events. This is the information that our brain first receives and processes when faced with a situation. Emotional information is transmitted through the connection between the left and right sides of the brain before our brain can rationally consider the information. There is a time lag in this process, and if we cannot control our emotions during this time, we will lose control and adopt some bad coping methods. But don't worry! You can learn to control your emotions and make better choices.

People who are great at handling relationships will keep their cool, give their brain a chance to make smart choices, and come up with awesome, win-win ways to handle things.

Let's make our work environment as comfortable as can be! Here are some suggestions to get us started:

(1) You can do it! Try to analyze the problem from the perspective of internal attribution.

Embrace the opportunity to improve your work! Accept suggestions and requests from colleagues and supervisors with an open mind. If there's room for improvement, dive in and make it happen!

(2) Switch from passive to proactive and tackle problems head-on!

If there's a misunderstanding between colleagues, they can take the initiative to communicate. The purpose of communication is not to shirk responsibility, but to understand and cooperate with each other. When we work actively, we may not feel like "sitting around doing nothing," and we'll be happy at work!

(3) Think rationally!

It's totally normal to have emotions when faced with a situation. But, we can remind ourselves to remain calm. It's also a great idea to analyze problems from multiple perspectives and look at what others are asking of you in a positive light.

To learn to think rationally, we have the amazing opportunity to learn about emotion management, such as in the book Why My Emotions Are Always Controlled by Others by Albert Ellis!

(4) We can choose to treat ourselves kindly and motivate ourselves, even when others don't encourage or comfort us.

We can choose to hope for the best when it comes to how our colleagues and leaders treat us. While we can't control how they treat us, we can absolutely give ourselves the care and encouragement we deserve!

I really hope this helps!

Wishing you the very best!

Hello!

I can tell you're a conscientious person at work, and I admire that! But when you encounter colleagues and superiors with bad personalities, it can affect your mood and work enthusiasm. So you feel like it's better to "play the bad guy" than to work hard but not be treated well, which can make you feel internally balanced.

You know what you want! You want to face your work with a warm heart and have a harmonious and loving work environment. That way, you, your colleagues, your superiors, and the patients can all do their jobs and take responsibility and be treated kindly. And you know what else? You won't be unhappy even if you put on a bad show!

When handing over shifts, because the timing is in the middle, it's a great opportunity to get creative and come up with a new way of dividing responsibilities between the previous and next shift.

The doctor taking over may have been feeling a little anxious and wanted to catch his breath a bit, not wanting to have a patient right away.

It's also possible that he's just not that into his work responsibilities!

The doctor on the team answered and left work. You didn't say anything, thinking that organizing data was just a trivial matter. The doctor taking over seemed to be directing his emotions at you, so you felt like you were the one being targeted. Is that right?

"Connect the leads before turning on the electrocardiogram!"

"Pasting medical documents covered part of the content,"

"Notifying the family of a serious illness a little late."

When you're scolded like this by your superior, don't you feel a bit aggrieved?

You think that these are just minor details. If you talk to them nicely and remind them, they'll definitely pay attention next time! There's no need to make a big deal out of it.

The senior doctor seems to be able to only see what you have not done well, but that just means there's room for improvement! It's never too late to start doing well in your work.

You may feel that it is useless to do your best in front of him, and that if you don't do well, you will be picked on. But you can be the best you can be! You just have to be a robot, obey the arrangements, verbally agree, and follow the principle of not making mistakes.

But this will make you feel as if you are not using your work enthusiasm and abilities to the full, as if you are being stifled by your work attitude despite your young age.

If you have such conflicts and contradictions, it is really a blessing!

Because you want to break out of this dilemma and start anew!

The solution is actually very simple!

Take a good, hard look at who you work for and what kind of work and life you want!

If you just want to get the job done, get along with your colleagues and superiors, and muddle through every day, then "playing the bad guy" is a great way to feel internally balanced, stay on track, and avoid disappointment.

If you want to improve your work, then go for it! Give full play to your enthusiasm for work and life, think about your own future, and care about the health of your patients. You can remain unaffected by the attitudes of your colleagues and superiors, as you have always done.

All it takes is a shift in perspective and a tweak to your mindset to make a world of difference!

Regarding the handover, here's a great tip: if the doctor taking over doesn't want to take that patient, you can finish organizing his information before handing over.

This may seem like an increase in your workload and a disadvantage, but it's actually a great opportunity! It shows that you're more generous and responsible than the doctor taking over, and that you're less anxious than he is. You may even gain his inner gratitude and some intangible gains!

Your superior doctor may be a strict and reserved person. If he is strict with you, you can do better in every way! Even if you are emotionally aggrieved for the time being, you can still do your best.

When you can get along with your colleagues and superiors in such a work environment, it means you'll get along with anyone in the future!

What's more, the people you work with and your superiors are not permanent. Your previous department heads were all excellent, and there's a good chance you'll meet even more amazing ones in the future. You could even become one yourself!

No matter how the department environment, colleagues, and superiors change, if you remain unchanged and cultivate yourself, you will absolutely have a great development!

I really hope the above answers can help you!

I'm Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor, and I wish you a happy start!

Hello, I'm Xintan coach Feixiang. Thanks so much for sharing your story with me. I can really relate to your feelings of injustice, vulnerability, and frustration.

?

From the perspective of a "third party"/a third eye, it's amazing how much clearer things become when you look at them through the two things you described!

From the perspective of a "third party"/a third eye, it's amazing how much clearer things become when you look at them through the two things you described!

Let's dive into Incident 1: A fascinating case of misunderstanding caused by different communication frequencies!

A. Absolutely! We should definitely pay more attention to the "responsibility" level. After all, to heal the sick and save lives is a huge responsibility and commitment. Being a doctor is so much more than just a job!

B. Because they didn't understand the situation, they blurted out "I'm off work" and stopped at the "behavior" level.

Context:

The two people are like "chatting with different languages," but they both believe in professional ethics and beliefs. However, the question and answer at that time were not on the same channel, resulting in different judgments. This is an excellent example of how different communication styles can lead to misunderstandings. It's so important to be aware of this and to try to bridge the communication gap.

There's no such thing as failure, only feedback!

Person A gets fired up and loses their cool, while person B feels a bit aggrieved inside. The thing is, we're all used to judging people and things based on our own values and standards. This can lead to a few hiccups in communication and some mutual emotional outbursts, but it's also a great opportunity to learn and grow!

✨Event 2: There are no two leaves in the world that are exactly the same!

Let's embrace the differences! Everyone has their own unique pattern, and that's what makes us special. For instance, your supervisor is highly demanding and has strict standards. This is why he focuses on the "not done" and ignores the "done."

People are different, and each has their own inherent pattern. For example, your supervisor is highly demanding and has strict standards, which is why he is used to focusing on the "not done" and ignoring the "done."

Everyone wants to be seen, affirmed, and respected. When criticized, denied, or accused, it is easy to feel powerless, but there's no need to fret! These feelings are just the subconscious mind's way of reactivating deep-seated emotions. You can choose to rise above them by looking at things from more perspectives, seeing more truths, and giving yourself more options.

?Suggestion:

I've got a great suggestion for you!

Try to look at things from more perspectives, see more truths, and give yourself more options!

It's so interesting how conflicts between people often arise from people sticking to their own opinions and being "fixed" on judgments!

Judgment: It's a wild ride! Within one's own scope of knowledge, judgment will lead to deviation. Having one's own values will lead to standards. And having standards will lead to judgment.

Judgment is a great thing! It can give us direction, but when judgment becomes fixed, each fixation has a "limited belief." Fixation = fixed obsession, is caused by limited perception.

Judgment is a great thing! It can give us direction, but when judgment becomes fixed, each fixation has a "limited belief." Fixation = fixed obsession, is caused by limited perception.

"Fixation" makes life unmoving; it distorts relationships and destroys them. But there's so much more to life than that!

✨Enhance your own awareness, thereby changing "fixations" and broadening the dimensions of life to see more truths. This can be done through the following three dimensions:

1. Wow, how time flies! Has he changed?

Have I changed? Absolutely!

2. I think this way, but what does the other person think? What do other people think? (Position awareness method)

2. What did the other person think? What did other people think? (Position awareness method)

Now for the fun part!

There's nothing more empowering than seeing things from a different point of view. It's the key to unlocking wisdom!

3. It's time to separate human behavior from identity and stop labeling this "person." Let's go to the next level of understanding!

3. It's time to separate human behavior from identity and stop labeling this "person." (Understanding level)

Einstein said it best: "Human predicament often lies in solving problems at the level where the problem was created."

Environment: where (where you work)

Now for the fun part! It's time to dive into the world of action and explore the exciting realm of possibilities. Let's uncover the secrets of what to do and how to do it.

Ability: How can it be achieved and what methods are used (what methods and abilities are used)?

This is the approach of the general public, and it's a great one!

Belief: Why do this? Why become a doctor? To heal and save lives! That's his belief, and it's the driving force behind his actions.

Identity: the answer to the question of who you are. Your answer is your identity (identity changes with space) – the buttocks determine the head. Your identity determines your behavior. And it's a great answer!

Spirituality: For whom, how he connects with others and the world. This is where it gets really interesting!

When judgment flows like this, so do human emotions—and then, amazingly, there can be communication, and relationships change as a result!

I really hope the above is helpful to you! And I just want to say that I love you, the world, and I love you too! ??

I really hope the above is helpful to you! And I just want to say that the world and I love you! ??

If you want to keep the conversation going, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to chat with you one-on-one and see how we can grow together!

Hello!

I understand your unhappiness, and I see that you are actually very responsible at work. You expect everyone to be more responsible at work, and you know that some things can be dealt with quickly and don't need to be overly considered.

Your unhappiness also stems from the criticism of your superior doctor for some minor mistakes in your work. You feel that if you do a good job, you will not be praised or thanked, and if you do a bad job, you will definitely be told off. You cannot do everything 100% right, so being told off is inevitable. This will not stop you from doing your best to ensure basic work responsibilities. After all, the safety of patients is at stake.

You want the superior doctor to see the good things you have done and praise you. You also want them to give advice on the things you have not done well. You don't want sharp criticism or even being scolded.

There's nothing wrong with this mentality. Everyone wants to be seen and affirmed. This is the personality of the leader. We can't change the situation of being led, but we can adjust to make ourselves a little happier at work.

1. Lower your expectations and demands on others.

Not all leaders have perfectly sound personalities, and not all leaders know how to motivate their subordinates. When faced with an imperfect leader, it is in our best interest to reduce our expectations of them to avoid disappointment.

The purpose of one's work is to survive. That's why we work: to earn an income to support ourselves and our families. Don't assign other, more emotional values to work. And don't seek emotional satisfaction from your personal life or other relationships.

2. Be a good person and influence those around you.

The environment affects everyone, and everyone influences the environment with their own energy field. Start with yourself. Be more strict with yourself. Do your work in a standardized and rigorous manner. This will improve your professional abilities and work performance. At the same time, influence your colleagues with your serious and responsible, selfless and collaborative spirit. Establish a better working atmosphere and environment.

This is a challenging but achievable goal. It's important to remember that you can't force yourself to achieve it.

3. Don't let others' opinions affect you. Build a more stable and confident self.

A more stable and stronger self means you don't care what others think. You just do what you should do and stick to what you think is right.

You've already taken the first step by not letting his comments affect you. Keep it that way. Don't add randomness to randomness at work. Don't make excuses for poor performance. That's irresponsible.

You'll respond in a way that ensures patient safety. If the other person is right and reasonable, accept their opinion. Don't let their attitude affect you. Focus on improving your work ability. Medical work is high-risk, so maintain high standards and strict requirements to ensure safety.

4. Learn techniques for self-regulating emotions.

Building a more stable and stronger self is the foundation for ensuring emotional stability. At the same time, you can also learn some techniques for regulating emotions. For example, when negative emotions arise, take a few deep breaths, exercise regularly, learn to release emotions in a beneficial way, regulate your diet and rest routine, etc. These will release work pressure and bad emotions, make your mind healthier and more resilient, better able to adapt to different environments, and maintain a happy mood.

I am confident that Hongyu's reply will be helpful to you. Thank you for your question!

Hello! I'm thrilled to answer your question. From your description, it seems that you may not be getting along as well as you'd like with your direct supervisor or colleagues in your work relationship. Have you considered a career in healthcare? I personally have the utmost respect for the work of healthcare workers. The white-clad angels who save lives and help the sick, especially during the epidemic, are deeply moving to see their figures on the front line fighting the epidemic.

From what you've described, it seems like you and your supervisor have a great working relationship! It's natural for there to be differences in analysis of details, especially in a field like medicine where experience is so important. A supervisor with seniority should have worked longer than you and be more experienced, which is great because it means they can offer you invaluable guidance. I don't know how long you've been in the profession, but if you're just starting out, it's essential to follow the rules carefully to lay a solid foundation for your future career development.

As the saying goes, no job is easy. I remember when I was writing my graduation thesis after graduating from university, my thesis format was approved by my supervisor several times, and it was revised four or five times. Now that I think about the strict requirements of my supervisors, I sincerely thank them. I never need to revise any forms or thesis formats a second time, which is great!

Having a strict direct supervisor at work is a total blessing! Especially in this medical profession, practical experience is really important, and we can't afford to ignore professional details.

Young people all have their own personalities, and that's what makes us unique! We need to embrace our personalities and use them to gain lots of practical experience. I'm thrilled to have met you in 1983. The world is a better place because of you!

I am concerned to observe that you are currently experiencing a high level of dissatisfaction in your work environment. The current work and social dynamics are not conducive to your well-being, and you have expressed this concern. New patients arrive during the designated handover periods, which can create a sense of unease.

The issue stems from unclear handover procedures, which can lead to instances of sudden anger, mutual incomprehension, or a lack of responsibility. Additionally, there is a certain level of anger that is not fully understood, as well as instances of mutual anger. It is essential for individuals in the workplace to maintain a sense of cooperation and positive interactions with their colleagues.

It is essential that the handover between the two parties is clear and unambiguous, ensuring that both parties are aware of their respective responsibilities. If responsibilities are clearly defined, there is no need for excessive formality. However, your senior doctor does not seem to be particularly tolerant, and there may be a lack of appreciation, which will undoubtedly lead to fatigue.

Even in situations where you cannot be 100% perfect, your work is likely to be found and criticized, as if your intelligence and abilities are being undermined. A lot of what you do is completely denied. In fact, even if you don't receive any credit, you still have toiled hard. Your superior's approach could be more constructive.

It may be the case that you feel the senior doctor in the department in front of you is more competent, or perhaps you have been placed in a department that is not aligned with your professional goals. It is important to consider whether your current department is the best fit for you, and whether you have the option to transfer or switch to a different role. There are always other opportunities available. I would recommend that you take the necessary career-related psychological tests to gain insight into your professional values and preferences. We still have to maintain high standards of performance.

Please clarify.

Could you please tell me how old the questioner is and how long they have worked in the hospital?

I'm not sure if this situation is typical of your work environment or if it's a one-off occurrence. I'm also unsure if the recent increase in severity of the epidemic is causing you, the medical staff, to work longer hours than usual, which might be contributing to a certain degree of mental stress and burnout. However, it's not always easy to express these feelings towards patients, so it's understandable that you're turning them towards your colleagues instead.

"Yesterday when we handed over the shift, organizing the data was actually quick, so there was no need to get angry about it." The questioner can be in the middle of it, but they can also maintain their composure and avoid letting the environment affect their thinking. It's quite valuable to be able to recognize that organizing the data was quick and that there was no need to get angry about it.

I believe I may have been reprimanded for a few minor mistakes, such as connecting the leads of the electrocardiogram before turning it on, pasting medical documents over part of the content, and notifying of serious illness late.

If you do your best, you may not receive the praise or thanks you deserve, but if you don't meet expectations, you will likely be held accountable.

It is challenging to get everything right 100% of the time, and it is understandable that mistakes will happen.

I must admit that I am starting to feel a bit discouraged. As long as the patient is safe, I will do my best to follow the instructions. If he wishes to talk, I will listen and respond in a way that shows I am engaged.

I admire your ability to maintain a detached attitude in the face of challenging circumstances. It's not easy to keep a positive outlook when you know that your efforts might not be recognized or appreciated, especially when there are expectations to perform at a high level consistently. It's commendable that you've taken the initiative to set your own standards for evaluation, focusing on patient safety as a primary concern. This approach can help avoid transferring dissatisfaction to others.

"These two things can indicate that the atmosphere in the department may not be as positive as it could be. In my previous department, the senior doctors were very supportive, and I would not engage in such behavior. When things are challenging, I also experience feelings of discontent about my own performance. How can I improve the situation?" Although the questioner can differentiate between other people's issues and his own concerns, he still desires to enhance the environment to better align with his professional goals.

From the text description, it seems that the questioner may be able to "sort it out" rationally, but emotionally, the questioner is still affected. For example, when the senior doctor says something to you, you "feel like you've already started to mess up." It seems that you are "secretly struggling and competing" with the senior doctor in a silent way. Perhaps this can more or less offset some of your dissatisfaction and resentment towards the senior doctor, which is, in a sense, a "good thing" for you.

Perhaps it would be helpful for the original poster to consider ways of distancing themselves from others and learning to manage their reactions to the challenges others face. This can be a challenging process.

You might consider writing down your grievances and resentments, or expressing your emotions and views to the other person in a witty and humorous way.

I truly hope that my response has been helpful. Wishing you the best!

Hello, questioner!

From reading your description, I can empathise with how you feel. I have personal experience of this myself. Different personalities of leaders and different work partners can affect people in different ways. In fact, after reading your description, I feel that our work partners may spend more time with us than our partners and family members. Colleagues and supervisors can often have an impact on our mood. If colleagues are a little more easy-going and supervisors are relatively less serious, we may be happier at work.

From the initial point of the question, it seems that between colleagues, due to the "shift change" situation, the questioner may have felt a certain level of frustration. It's possible that he observed this in the other person's eyes and, at the time, felt that he could efficiently organize the information, leading to a sense of impatience. Reflecting back, apart from this initial reaction, what other emotions might he have experienced in that moment?

Or, when you encounter this kind of "unfriendly" atmosphere, you may find it helpful to reflect on other situations where you have observed similar dynamics, or whether you have experienced this kind of scene when you were a child, and how you felt at the time. It's understandable that we all desire a more relaxed and positive work environment, but it's important to recognize that this may not always be the reality. In such cases, it's crucial to adapt to the environment and strive to do our best. As the questioner mentioned, as long as it is safe for patients and does no harm, it's ultimately up to each individual to decide how they want to handle these situations.

It's not realistic to expect that we can change the atmosphere of the whole department by ourselves. So, it might be more helpful to try to be "gentler" when getting along with our colleagues.

It might be helpful to take this opportunity to understand your own inner needs a little better.

1. The questioner said that according to his personality, he will not praise or thank you for a job well done, but will definitely scold you if you do a bad job. I also can't do everything 100% right, so being scolded is inevitable.

First of all, I think the questioner made a very good point: "I can't be 100% right at everything." We can't all be perfect, and we won't always be 100% right at everything. It seems that the questioner is not the type of person who is very harsh on herself and won't allow herself to make any mistakes! I believe the questioner will be able to adapt, perhaps there is still a transition period since she has just started.

Additionally, it seems reasonable to suggest that the majority of people would appreciate recognition from others, particularly from their supervisors at work. However, it is important to recognise that not everyone will offer praise and compliments, and therefore it is essential to learn to affirm and appreciate ourselves.

From the perspective of Ellis's rational emotive therapy, it is thought that it is not the event itself that causes emotions, but rather our perception and interpretation of the event. Therefore, if we wish to change our emotions, it may be more helpful to consider changing our own perceptions and beliefs, rather than the event itself.

You might find it helpful to use the ABC of emotions to look at this matter and what your beliefs are.

Even the most well-intentioned colleagues can sometimes have a less friendly demeanor when handing over duties.

It would be helpful to gain more insight into this belief.

Emotion: depression, unhappiness. It would be beneficial to ascertain your belief, and after determining that you hold this belief, it would be helpful to examine the origin of this belief and its reasonability. If it is not reasonable, it might be constructive to consider ways to modify it for the better.

You may find it helpful to refer to the steps and analysis of the rational self-analysis report of rational emotive therapy. It may be available online, and it is relatively simple and very practical.

I hope this finds you well.

Hello,

Host:

I read your post and I can see how you've been treated unfairly and are feeling exhausted. I also want to say that you've been really brave in sharing how you feel and looking for help. This will help you understand yourself and your relationships better, and adjust your mindset.

Next, I'll share some observations and thoughts from the post that might help you see the situation differently.

1. If we can't meet the requirements no matter what, why even try?

In the post, the poster said that if you do a good job, your superior won't praise you or thank you. But if you do a bad job, they'll find fault with you. I can't do everything 100% right, so I'm bound to be criticized. I feel like I've already started "taking the blame." As long as patient safety is ensured, I'll do what I have to do. If he wants to say something, let him say it. I'll just have to nod and say "yes."

I get it. It can be really frustrating dealing with a superior like that, and it can also dampen our enthusiasm for work. We all want to be seen, understood, and supported.

We want our efforts to be seen, but when we can't meet the requirements and we're still being scolded, it's only natural that our enthusiasm is affected.

We'll probably end up thinking, like you said, that we're just throwing it away because that's how our minds work.

If there's no difference between an 80 and a 60, why bother trying so hard?

2. Learn to take care of yourself and recognize your own needs.

Once we understand our emotions, we can also find our needs in those emotions. It's that we still want to be recognized, seen, and accepted.

This is what our emotions are trying to tell us. So, what can we do if our superiors don't recognize our hard work?

Well, we're adults now. It's time to take responsibility for our own lives, emotions, and needs.

We can't control how others treat us, but we can choose how they affect us, right? When they can't meet our needs, don't forget that we can still satisfy our own needs.

We know ourselves better than anyone else. We know what kind of support we need, what we're trying to achieve, and what motivates us. This means we can meet our own needs, look after ourselves, and recognise ourselves.

We work for ourselves, and we get to learn from our own experiences!

3. Look at things in a new way.

In psychology, there's an emotional ABC theory. A is for the event or stimulus that occurred, B is our perception of the event, and C is the result or our reaction.

There's an emotional ABC theory in psychology. A is for the event or stimulus that occurred, B is our perception of the event, and C is the result or our reaction.

There's an emotional ABC theory in psychology. In this theory, A represents the event or stimulus that occurred. B is our perception of the event, and C is the result or our reaction.

This theory says that B causes C, not A.

So, it's not what actually happened that makes us unhappy, it's how we interpret it. Could we change B to adjust our mood?

This theory also suggests that we are the only people who can hurt ourselves. So, how can we reinterpret our superiors?

It's important to understand that the nature of human relationships is to help us grow. When we do, we may suddenly see the light.

If our superior is a critical person, have we learned to get along with critical people in the process of getting along with him? And will we have experience in the future when we encounter such people?

It could also be seen as meaning that our superiors are here to help us develop ourselves. Developing ourselves means managing our emotions.

His constant criticism helps us to stay calm and in control. Wouldn't it be better to think like this?

I like the idea that what we experience is either learned or gained.

I hope these are helpful and inspiring for you. I'm Zeng Chen, a psychological exploration coach.

If you have any questions, just click on "Find a Coach," and you'll find me. Let's tackle the problem together.

Dear Sir/Madam, I believe you are an individual who is genuinely committed to excellence and to enhancing the performance of the team. I would be delighted to have you on my team.

I am particularly drawn to colleagues who proactively identify issues and strive to implement solutions.

I am sorry to learn of the difficulties you are currently experiencing. I suspect that if I were in your position, I would also be quite unhappy at work.

Through your introduction, I have several questions for you to consider, which I hope will provide insight and assistance.

1. [Doctor taking over] What was the rationale behind the conclusion that the patient was not well-behaved? Was it based on observed behavior or past history?

It is also possible that the doctor in question has formed an opinion based on information not available to the inquiring party.

For example, was the doctor in a bad mood due to a patient cursing at him? Or was he experiencing personal difficulties due to the loss of a family member?

2. Is her anger a direct result of this incident, or could it be the consequence of an underlying issue? Prior to this event, was she experiencing any form of discontent?

3. The superior doctor has his own standards. Has he ever discussed them with you? Are you aware of his standards?

Are you unaware of the criteria, or do you simply not possess the requisite knowledge? Is a substantial amount of information being withheld?

...

One might posit that the issue does not lie in one's ability to perform the task at hand, but rather in the lack of transparency and pre-communication.

Communication is of paramount importance at all levels: upwards (to one's superior), horizontally (with colleagues), and downwards (with one's team). It is essential to recognize that both parties have expectations and demands. A superior has expectations of their subordinates, and subordinates have expectations of their superiors. The most effective approach to address these expectations and demands is through open communication, where expectations and demands are clearly articulated and collaborative efforts are made to implement changes.

It is recommended that you attempt to communicate with a relaxed attitude. It is imperative that you endeavor to ascertain whether improvements can be made. It is this author's belief that those in positions of authority should take the initiative. It is essential that you afford yourself the opportunity to do so, while also extending the same courtesy to the other party.

It is advisable to identify an appropriate opportunity to facilitate communication.

It is important to provide an objective account of the events in question, without any personal judgement or evaluation.

It is also important to express one's feelings.

It is important to identify the common goals of both parties involved in the situation. When these goals are shared, it creates a sense of unity and collaboration, rather than pitting one side against the other.

It is also important to communicate suggestions.

To illustrate, when I requested that you work overtime, you appeared displeased. I regret this, but I was genuinely trying to fulfill my responsibilities. I am committed to doing my job well, both to avoid inconveniencing you or my colleagues and to enhance our ability to serve our patients. However, there may be aspects of my performance that I am not fully aware of. If there are any areas where I could have done better, I am open to improvement in the future. I would therefore appreciate your feedback. Did I misinterpret your response at the time?

In light of these observations, we would be grateful for any suggestions you may have regarding potential improvements to our collaborative processes, with a view to avoiding similar misunderstandings in the future.