How to deal with the fear of sleeping alone in the dark?

Dear Sir/Madam, I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach on the Yi Xinli platform. I have read your sincere question and note that you describe yourself as timid and as being unable to turn off the light when you sleep alone. I am curious as to the duration of this situation. Has it been a lifelong condition, or has it only recently manifested as a result of specific external stimuli? I look forward to your reply. Yours sincerely, ZQ

I am unaware of your current age. In general, as we age, we tend to become more audacious. It is also somewhat peculiar that your parents went to visit relatives while you remained at home alone, as you could have accompanied them.

Furthermore, it is not uncommon for children as young as six years old to sleep alone. There is no inherent problem with sleeping alone; it can be seen as a symbol of courage and independence.

The act of parents sleeping together is a manifestation of their intimacy, whereas the act of children sleeping alone is a reflection of their independence.

The reason for this is that we are independent individuals. When one feels scared when sleeping alone at night, it is important to determine whether the fear is a result of feeling alone, being in a dark environment, or experiencing an indescribable sensation of something lurking in the darkness. By analyzing the underlying cause of the fear, it is possible to gain a deeper understanding of the situation.

For example, the specific reason may be that the mind is inundated with scenes from horror films. In this case, a crucial piece of information may be that horror films are referenced. It is possible that an excessive amount of horror films have been viewed, which may be the cause of the current situation.

There are films that may be classified as horror. They often feature graphic violence and gore.

Some horror films feature ghosts or evil spirits, which are often depicted in a manner that is frightening and malevolent. This is an important aspect of the commercial success of films within this genre. Fundamentally, films are acted out by people, and many elements are not authentic. Furthermore, if one is genuinely fearful of such portrayals,

Indeed, it is possible to attempt to filter out or block such content, as there is no viable way to accept it. Viewing such material will inevitably result in feelings of fear, and it is therefore necessary to develop a capacity for "blocking" and "filtering" in order to prevent the absorption of information that is not desired.

Furthermore, it is possible to facilitate the intake of information that is beneficial to us. Therefore, it would be prudent to avoid watching horror movies when one is home alone. Such films tend to lack positive energy due to their inherently dark nature.

Furthermore, there is a proclivity towards violence. There is also a more distorted side to humanity. Therefore, it is advisable to avoid watching these movies on a regular basis. It is also recommended to seek guidance from a trusted individual or professional counselor when experiencing feelings of distress.

Please clarify the meaning of the acronym ZQ.

Hello, I hope you feel some warmth and support, and I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

You say that you feel scared when you go to sleep at night, and that horror movie scenes always flood your mind, so you stay up until morning before going to sleep. This is mainly because we associate darkness, sleeping, and these fears. However, we need to see these horror movie scenes as just images in your mind, not yourself, and they are not real. When you can recognize dissociation, not follow these illusions, and actively choose images that make you feel safe, you will gradually feel less fear as you make a connection between sleep and a sense of safety and comfort.

Here are a few tips to help you out:

1. It seems that your fear mainly comes from following the images in your mind and connecting with them mentally, even though they're just images and scenes, not you.

If you're always scared by scenes from movies you've seen, it means you've identified with them as being real and followed the thoughts and images in your mind. But these images and scenes are just the product of your mind—they're not real and they're not you.

Tell yourself that you're now imagining some scenes that make you feel afraid. At the same time, remind yourself that your emotions aren't you—they're just feelings. You're a person who's bigger than your emotions. When you notice your emotions coming up, you can step back from them without getting caught up in them. This will help you regain control of your thoughts and emotions.

2. Find a way to relax and link sleep with a sense of security and comfort to help you fall asleep.

Since you're not at the mercy of your emotions and thoughts, you have the power to choose how you respond to them. When we feel fearful again because of these scenarios, we can use some simple techniques to get ourselves back to the present and relax. We can establish a link between sleep and feeling safe and comfortable, and gradually fall asleep.

For instance, when you catch yourself thinking about it again, just yell "stop" to yourself and then take 20 deep breaths to bring yourself back to the present moment and relax at the same time. Then, you can use the "safe island sleep method"—just imagine yourself in a safe place where you're safe and not in any danger...and slowly fall asleep with this feeling of safety and comfort.

I hope this helps. Best regards,

Good day. I am listening attentively to your concerns.

I am fearful and helpless when my parents leave to visit relatives, as I am left alone in the house. I am overwhelmed by images and films that I have previously viewed, which are now perceived as frightening. We are caught between the tangible reality of our situation and the unreal, frightening scenarios that we imagine. We desire to seek assistance from our parents, but they are absent, which is both frustrating and disappointing.

It is recommended that:

1. Distinguish between reality and imagination.

The scenes from horror movies persistently occupy the mind. They are merely products of the imagination, not factual representations. From a practical standpoint, the individual is secure, situated in a state of repose within the confines of their domicile. The residence is safeguarded by the community security apparatus and the primary entrance.

2. Enhance your sense of security.

Safety is an intrinsic quality, not contingent on external factors. Without knowing the reader's age, it is not possible to provide guidance on how to ascertain safety. The reader is encouraged to list the criteria individually and then compare them. What is reality?

It would be beneficial to identify the elements present in horror films that evoke fear and anxiety, as well as those that do not.

It is recommended that one avoid the source of horror, whether by abstaining from viewing it entirely or limiting one's exposure to it as much as possible.

If one is aware that a particular aspect of a horror scene evokes fear, it may be beneficial to limit or avoid exposure to such films. This can help to reduce the raw material for processing the external environment, thereby limiting the frequency of imagined horror scenes.

4. Please conduct further research.

What are the scenes in horror movies? It can be argued that only by facing fear head-on can one overcome it and effectively improve their sense of security.

Please describe the feelings and thoughts that the scenes in those horror movies evoked in you. Please also explain why you wanted to watch such horror movies and who invited you to watch them together.

One might inquire as to the provenance of horror movies and the rationale behind their dissemination.

I pay attention to what they are saying.

Hello.

Your parents are away, and you're home alone. You're scared to go to bed because you think about horror movies. You stay up until morning.

This affects your sleep and you don't get a good night's rest. You want to overcome your fear so you can sleep alone at night.

You think this is because you lack courage.

This is a common problem. You are always accompanied at home, but suddenly you are alone, and you are afraid to sleep. The more afraid you are, the more you think nonsense.

The more they think about it, the more scared they get and the less they dare to sleep.

When there is no one at home, you feel lonely. The fear of the dark is natural.

Movies make nighttime seem scary. It's common to be too scared to sleep alone at night.

Some people who travel abroad also have this problem at night. They don't see it as a matter of courage.

You think you're not brave enough to sleep alone. I think that's the problem.

Our inner fears come from our distant human past. They have helped us survive and reproduce.

Our fears help us predict dangers and take steps to protect ourselves.

Some people feel insecure when they travel alone to a foreign place. This can affect their sleep at night.

They'll pick a big hotel on a bright road over a small, dark hotel on a dark road.

Before bed, they take a warm bath and drink milk. At night, they turn on a night light.

This way, you can make your home safer and more comfortable.

So, at night, when there's no one at home, it's not about being brave or not. It's natural. We just need to do something to feel safe.

For example, you can turn on the lights, TV, or phone audio. Use behavior to achieve a sense of security and fall asleep.

According to constructivism, a problem is what we make it.

If you're scared of falling asleep alone, it's a problem. If it's just a temporary thing, it's not a problem.

Do you have a different opinion?

Love yourself.

Happy New Year! To the questioner:

I'm Kelly Shui.

You shouldn't be afraid to turn off the light when you sleep alone.

Your question also made me think of my past self, who was afraid of the dark.

This is something many people have experienced.

[About fear]

My parents went to a relative's house, and there was only one person at home. I want to know if you felt scared to sleep at night.

Was this the first time?

Tell me, did you feel this way when your parents were around?

As a child, I watched a lot of horror movies. The scenes from those movies flooded into my mind. Later, I watched fewer of them.

In the evenings, listen to your favorite music, read a book, or watch a movie.

Some people are more sensitive. We watch movies very intuitively. Going through these things has also made me understand myself better. I'm certain that when I was a child, I watched a lot of horror movies, including some negative things that have affected me. Even my parents' arguments can make me scared.

Write down what you fear. Then, identify the root cause of your fear. Is it insecurity or anxiety?

This is part of exploring ourselves. Fear is also part of us. Try the following methods.

[Accept the fear]

We all know that the more we fear something, the more we are bound by it. We can make fear our "friend." If you are afraid, turn on the lights, listen to meditation, or play your favorite music.

We can also go to bed late and tell ourselves that we'll gain a lot by not sleeping at night. We'll gain a better understanding of ourselves, for example, by overcoming our fear of loneliness.

As a student, I lived in a dormitory with a long walk to the bathroom. I encouraged myself, telling myself I was great and could be independent.

We will try these methods and adapt to them slowly, affirming ourselves and making progress.

It's also time to reflect on the ways our parents supported us and the value of having them by our side.

Insomnia and reading philosophical literature will also allow you to experience the joy of reading at night.

You should definitely try to find a professional listening teacher at Yixin to experience the changes and feelings after the call.

You don't need to fear or resist fear. It's a process of becoming braver.

Let everything happen. Let fear pass through you and experience it. It's just a feeling.

Read these books: Becoming Myself, The Power of Self-Growth, and Self-Care.

I wish you well.

Hello!

I understand being too timid to turn off the lights and go to sleep alone.

Here are some opinions for you to think about:

This fear or anxiety at night may be due to past experiences, movies, or books.

These fears may make you feel uneasy, lonely, or abandoned when left alone in the dark, which may prevent you from turning off the lights and going to sleep.

Being alone in the dark can make you feel scared or uneasy.

Or it could be a lack of security in the dark, caused by past experiences or trauma.

It may also be due to a disrupted biological clock and reduced melatonin, which make it hard to sleep in the dark.

The habit of being afraid to turn off the lights and go to sleep may be the result of different factors for each person.

Here are some tips to help you:

Get proper sleep.

Don't watch horror or intense films before bed. Avoid stimulating the senses by playing with your phone. Create a quiet, comfortable sleeping environment.

Second, make yourself feel safe.

When you're home alone, stay in touch with your parents, leave the TV on, and keep the room well-lit.

If this happens again and affects your life, see a counselor.

You can try exposure therapy to gradually face your fears.

I hope this helps!

Dear questioner,

I'm Liu, and I'm a listening coach!

I really hope my answer will give you some strength!

In fact, we have been playing a game of fear since childhood. Our fear may stem from real-life experiences or from the shock of sensory stimuli. We are afraid of shadows in the dark. But there's no need to be afraid! We can become braver.

This is a fantastic question! It shows that you are a courageous person at heart.

That's fantastic!

First, let's try to understand the reason. Fear may come from the unknown, but it can also come from a lack of psychological security. We are naturally alert to our surroundings, which is great!

Our natural defense mechanisms as humans mean that being alone and sleeping can amplify our fears – but there are ways we can overcome this!

Our sense of security in a space comes partly from the important others around us. When we feel that there are adults at home, we can relax with peace of mind and sleep soundly, because we feel protected. So, in the more distant past, our ancestors would choose to live in groups, which is pretty cool if you think about it!

Isn't it amazing that we have our own natural defense mechanisms for self-protection?

This keen instinct is our body's way of protecting us from danger. When we are alone, this ability is magnified and our senses become even more acute. Although we no longer need to fear sudden attacks by beasts in the dark, this awareness of protecting ourselves from harm still remains in our subconscious, ready to kick in when we need it!

Sleep is a wonderful thing! It's a time when our bodies rest and recharge. But it's also a time when we're a bit more vulnerable. So, it's important to make sure we're safe before we drift off at night. When the adults in the family go out, it's like our spiritual guardians have temporarily left. Our subconscious mind might suggest that the current environment isn't safe. But don't worry! Our brain will quickly adjust and we'll be ready to sleep in no time.

This message is captured with pinpoint accuracy by our consciousness, and our brain will think that we can't go to sleep now.

And I would keep reinforcing the danger signal, excited to see what would happen next!

This was one of the reasons for my insomnia – and it was a good one!

Second, the information we come across during the day, even if it is historical information, can also cause some interference. When the tide of curiosity ebbs, fear will rise to the surface – but don't worry, this is totally normal!

We watched thrilling, suspenseful dramas when we were awake, and although we were scared, we could distinguish the boundary between reality and fiction. We could feel the rush of adrenaline, experience the satisfaction of curiosity, and feel the pleasure brought on by the excitement!

And when we enter the realm of sleep, it's like we're entering a whole new world! It's a world where the lines between film and television and real life are blurred.

I had the same experience as you! When we were young, we loved watching Detective Conan. It was so thrilling! At night when the adults were not at home, I would be extremely scared. I always felt that the black murderer in Conan would attack me.

I would shiver with excitement, then cover myself under the covers, not daring to open them even if I was sweating. I also couldn't sleep because I was so scared, but it was a good kind of scared!

So we stay up until dawn!

When we are completely immersed in the feeling of fear, even if we have not really experienced it, we will be involved. And over time, our sleep will be affected. But here's the good news! We can take control of this and make positive changes.

3. Based on your situation, I have some fantastic suggestions for you! These are just ideas to get you started, and I'm here to cheer you on!

(1) You can do this! Try to avoid daytime auditory and visual stimuli, and at the same time, learn some self-regulation methods.

The great news is that we can actively create some information intake that does not make us so fearful. For example, during the day, watch some healing, warm, or comedy films and television works or books, and listen to some light music.

On this basis, and considering that during the holidays our body's heat production slows down due to the holiday season, we have the perfect opportunity to increase some outdoor activities! Before going to bed, you can do ten minutes of meditation, or listen to some guided meditation audios.

When scary scenes come to mind, we can take control and actively interrupt this connection! Simply take a few deep breaths immediately and silently count to 10 in your mind. Then, give yourself a big hug and relax with your breathing while you tell yourself, "I am safe, I am safe, I am safe."

(2) Go to bed earlier and create an amazing atmosphere and environment that makes you feel safe!

The great news is that we can make a difference! The later we go to bed, the more unstable the secretion of melatonin in the body will be. And the more the atmosphere in the middle of the night and early morning will exacerbate the sense of fear.

So, go to bed a little earlier, reduce the impact of fragmented, short, and shallow information on us, and keep your brain from being in a state of over-excitement!

You can even light a warm lamp in the room to give it a little light instead of complete darkness! This suggestion is only for the early stages of adjustment, but it's a great one. If possible, find two plush dolls or even pillows and fall asleep hugging them!

Hugging is a wonderful way to simulate that secure attachment between mother and child. When you combine this with a mental suggestion that the environment is safe, the brain realizes that there is no threat to our safety!

I really think these can help you overcome your fear!

(3) If you still feel scared, don't try to "carry it" alone or suppress it. Instead, try talking to your parents or confiding in a mental health professional. They'll be happy to help!

The great news is that we don't have to fight the darkness alone! Growing up is an amazing journey from trembling with fear to facing it with equanimity. It does take time, but it's so worth it to take the initiative to understand ourselves and come to terms with ourselves.

If you still feel too scared to sleep, try talking about your fears with someone you trust, or talk to a psychologist. If you need company at that time, then maybe this kind of communication can bring us encouragement and comfort. You've got this! With a little help, you'll be able to overcome your fears and let go of your unease.

You can do it! Hang in there!

That's all I've got to say!

Thank you so much for reading!

I wish you all the best in the world!

I'm a listening therapist, Liu Quanyan, and I'm here to help!

I'd love to hear from you! Please, feel free to talk to me.

Hello, I'm Coach Yu, and I'm thrilled to discuss this topic with you!

Psychology has some fascinating insights to share about our inner child. It turns out that everyone has one! And it's influenced by our upbringing and the way our parents raised us.

Our inner child is defined by fear, and it's a good thing! As we grow and develop, we encounter all kinds of things that make us feel afraid. Let's dive in and explore the sources of fear.

The source of my fear may be a lack of security, a lack of courage, or even a fear of sleeping alone with the lights off – but I can conquer these fears!

Our parents' feedback and behavior during our childhood is the only way for us to understand ourselves. When you first started to toddle or tried to eat with chopsticks, did your mother stop you countless times because she was worried, anxious, or afraid of bad consequences? Did you often make requests that were ignored or criticized by your parents?

As we grow and learn, we'll make mistakes and feel like we can't do things as well as we'd like. This is totally normal! But it's important to remember that we are worthy of love and we can learn and improve. When we're self-critical, it can make us feel arrogant, which can make our inner child feel scared. But we can choose to be kind to ourselves and embrace our vulnerabilities as an opportunity to grow.

Now that we understand our inner child's fears, it's time to let our inner child grow!

First, we can try to perceive whether the fear at the critical moment is emotional or real.

In fact, what an amazing discovery! It's often the case that what frightens us in the present moment is emotion, that is, the complex of an injured inner child.

Our childhood fears were not properly seen and soothed. This means that when we encounter a similar situation in reality, it has the power to activate the fear from that time, thus causing various negative emotions such as worry and fear, and even some physical reactions. As the questioner wrote, when my parents went to visit relatives and I was left alone, I was afraid to turn off the light when I went to sleep. This meant that I had the opportunity to use my imagination and picture scenes from horror movies flooding my mind, which made me stay up until morning!

Childhood experiences may have caused us some harm, but we can rely on our own strength to see the helpless and lonely self from the past, accept the self that was unloved, and try to reconcile with ourselves. And we can do it!

So when we notice that we have feelings of fear and anxiety, we can say "stop" and tell ourselves, "None of this is my fault!" and then let the emotions flow!

Another great way to work through your feelings is to record them in a journal. It's totally up to you, so feel free to write about your feelings in any way you want. This can help us understand how emotions work and what's really going on for you.

We can find a great opportunity to talk to our parents about our childhood! The purpose is not to apportion blame, but to help us understand each other better, improve the parent-child relationship, and also help ourselves to reconcile with the past.

If this thing bothers you, don't worry! You can seek help. It might take a little time to overcome it, but you can do it! Find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor. They can help you express your emotions to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

We also try to learn to love ourselves, starting by treating our bodies kindly. We tell ourselves that we have grown up, that we have the strength and ability to protect ourselves, that we can affirm and satisfy our needs, that we can accept and appreciate our imperfect selves, that we learn to look inward, to hug our inner child, to become our own inner parents. And when our core is stable, we will confidently show ourselves!

I'm so excited to recommend this amazing book: Embrace Your Inner Child!

Understanding Emptiness Analysis:

Here are a few tips to help you tackle your fears and inner turmoil:

1. Look for a logical explanation. Try to think through your fear and figure out what's really behind it. Fear is usually caused by not understanding something or by worrying about a negative outcome.

Gaining information and knowledge to compensate for your own shortcomings can help you reduce your fear.

2. Find support: If you're feeling lonely and uneasy, talk to family members, friends, or other trusted people to share your feelings and concerns. Getting the understanding and support of others will make you feel stronger and more encouraged.

3. Relax: Before bed, try deep breathing, meditation, yoga, or other relaxation exercises to help you unwind. Also, avoid scary movies or loud music to help calm your nerves.

4. Find a new hobby: Looking for new pastimes like reading, painting, or running can help you relax, reduce your stress, and make your life more fulfilling and interesting.

5. If you're still struggling with fear and unease that are affecting your daily life, it might be time to reach out to a professional psychologist or counselor. They can help you problem-solve and support you in improving your mental state.

It's crucial to not let fear and anxiety take over your thoughts. Confront your fears, find solutions, and believe you can overcome any challenge.