How to deal with the obsession of recalling the details of trivial incidents that happened in the past due to concern?

I would like to reassure you that excessive attention to trivial matters from the past is a common experience. Many people find themselves in similar situations at some point, and this is often related to our inner needs, cognitive patterns, and attitudes towards life.

You mentioned that you have some concerns about the aluminum foil tape on the bottle you use when feeding your child, and you find yourself thinking about the possible risks quite often. This concern actually comes from your deep love for your child, and you want to ensure that everything is safe for your child.

However, excessive rumination and worry can sometimes have painful and exhausting effects.

In psychology, this repetitive thinking and dwelling on the past is sometimes referred to as "obsessive thinking." It can stem from a strong need for security and a desire for perfection and control.

I believe that when we focus too much on the details and try to control everything, we may lose sight of the overall balance and harmony. Therefore, I suggest that you consider adjusting your cognitive model and learning to look at things from a holistic perspective, rather than dwelling on the details.

I can appreciate your difficulty letting go of the past. It may be related to your values and attitude towards life.

You may believe that you can only demonstrate your worth and abilities by ensuring that every aspect of your past is flawless. However, I respectfully suggest that true value lies not in the perfection of the past, but in how we face and overcome the challenges of the present.

I believe it would be beneficial for you to shift your focus from the details of the past to the present and try to live in each real moment.

If I may, I would like to offer some suggestions that might help you ease this repetitive behavior of thinking about the past. One approach could be to try mindfulness exercises to focus on the present.

Mindfulness practices may be helpful in focusing on the present and reducing worries and rumination about the past. You might consider setting aside some time each day to practice mindfulness, for example by practicing breathing exercises, meditation, or simply becoming aware of your body.

Additionally, it might be helpful to consider developing some new interests and hobbies as a way of shifting your attention from the past to something more meaningful. You might like to try participating in social activities, sports, or artistic creations. These activities could not only provide an opportunity to make new friends and broaden your horizons, but also help you to relieve your inner anxiety and confusion.

It might be helpful to consider learning to accept and let go of the regrets and mistakes of the past. We all make mistakes, and everyone has imperfect pasts.

It is important to learn from our mistakes, accept our past, and face the future with courage. You may find it helpful to write down your feelings and thoughts or to share them with a trusted friend or family member. This can help you better understand and deal with past experiences.

Ultimately, it is important to understand that changing this behavior will require time and patience. While it is not realistic to expect immediate results, it is possible to gradually adjust one's mindset and behavior.

It is possible that you may encounter some difficulties and challenges along the way, but I believe that with perseverance, you will gradually be able to find your way out of the predicament and regain inner peace and happiness.

In short, it is understandable that you are currently experiencing repetitive thinking about the past. This is something that can be changed. There are a number of ways in which you can do this. You can adjust your cognitive model, cultivate mindfulness, develop new interests and hobbies, and accept and release the regrets and mistakes of the past. Gradually, this will help to alleviate this behavior and you will be able to regain inner peace and happiness.

I'm confident my answer will be helpful to you.

From your description, I can confirm that I was the same when I first became a mother. I would also always research and think about these details, paying attention to these trivial matters every day, confirming, searching, asking friends, asking doctors, etc. This is the natural protection and love as a mother for her child, afraid that the child will be adversely affected. It is also a result of their own internal insecurity, so they want to ensure the safety of their child. This kind of repeated confirmation, chewing, and internal consumption has a specific term in psychology called "thought rumination." The best way to deal with thought rumination is to learn to return to the present moment, not to follow your thoughts, and to see your thoughts as just thoughts, not facts, and not ourselves. Jumping out of your head and immersing yourself in our real lives in the present moment will be much better.

I advise you to:

You are thinking about this again and again to ensure the safety and health of your baby.

I see that many mothers, including myself, seem to go through that process. In the early days after the baby is born, and sometimes even until around the age of one, they will have similar concerns as you. This is natural maternal love. Later, as the baby grows older, we also feel that the baby has his own resistance, and is not as fragile as we thought. We will not worry so much about his safety and health, and we will not care so much about these details.

This is a process. We intend to love and care for the baby, but we also know the baby will have its own resistance. We believe the baby will grow up healthy, and we will do what we can.

2. Understand the impact of rumination on you and learn to live in the present moment and live mindfully.

Let's start by defining rumination. The original meaning of rumination refers to the process of herbivores re-ingesting partially digested food into their mouths to chew again and reabsorb. In other words, it's the act of repeatedly thinking about past events.

Let's be clear: not all rumination is bad. If it's normal rumination, after experiencing some negative events, we will think back and think about how to do better next time, make improvements and adjustments, and change our perceptions and behaviors. In short, we will make it easier for ourselves to achieve our goals next time. Even if the goal is not achieved for the time being, after a period of time, we will not think about it anymore and will forget about it automatically. But if we repeatedly think about it and even expend a lot of energy on it, seriously affecting our daily lives, then some adjustments need to be made.

I have learned that learning to live mindfully and in the present moment is an effective way to live. We must understand that these thoughts in our minds are just thoughts and do not represent us or the truth. We are the masters of our own minds and thoughts. When negative, obsessive thoughts arise, we do not have to follow them or suppress them. We just let them appear and disappear. If we become aware that our thoughts have taken us back to the past, we can relax by taking a deep breath, which will also bring us back to the present moment. Focus on your breathing, take a few deep breaths, and then do whatever you are doing at the moment. If you are eating, savor the taste of the food; if you are with your children, focus on chatting and playing with them; if you are walking, focus on the feeling of walking, the feeling of your feet touching the ground.

At the same time, you can also remind yourself in words: "I am eating now, I am playing with my child now, I am brushing my teeth now..." When our attention returns to the present and we focus on the things of the moment, our scattered thoughts will disappear. In other words, we need to get out of our heads and into life.

This is for your reference. Best wishes!

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your inquiry.

From your description, it appears that you are overly concerned about your child's health, which has caused anxiety. This anxiety, in turn, leads to overthinking. What should you do? Let's work together to resolve this issue.

Let's begin by discussing anxiety. Anxiety is a natural response to fear of the unknown and the uncontrollable. As you consider the numerous details, your concerns are understandable. However, the key to managing anxiety is to make the unknown and uncontrollable known and controllable.

1. A list of concerns can be compiled on a piece of paper, with each item placed on the left side of the page. For example, the question of whether the adhesive is toxic can be included on the list. The expected lifespan of the bottle can also be noted.

If the elderly person is unable to see the water level clearly, how should the bottle be sterilized?

Please refer to the above for further details.

The solutions are listed on the right side of the page. For example, if the plastic bag is not in contact with the water, there should be no problem. The lifespan of the bottle can be determined by the instructions. If the elderly person has poor eyesight, they can use a measuring cup to fill the bottle with water first. Bottle sterilization can be done by boiling the water once or twice.

2. You may also wish to consult with an experienced professional, who will be able to provide advice that will eliminate your concerns and save time.

Having a specific solution in place will greatly reduce your anxiety levels. It is also important to ensure that the child has a certain level of resilience, so there is no need to worry unduly.

Another approach is to take a step back from the situation and adopt an observational stance. If a colleague were to experience this problem, how would you provide support? You can apply the same approach to provide support to yourself and manage your nerves.

4. Enhance your awareness and temporarily disengage from your thoughts. When you recognize that you are engaged in obsessive thinking, acknowledge the situation by stating, "Memories have started again. Thank you, brain, I understand. You can step aside now."

Then, take five deep breaths and refocus on the task at hand.

Please note that the above is for reference only.

I hope this information is useful to you.

Best regards,

Good day, my name is Gu Daoxi Fengshou, and I am a Heart Detective coach.

It is often said that if you raise your child according to the book, it is normal for a novice mother to feel nervous and anxious. As a mother, I can understand the feelings of the questioner very well. Please allow me to extend my support to the questioner.

When our child was very young, I experienced similar concerns. Even when I trimmed her fingernails, I worried that it would have a negative impact on her. After I finished trimming them, I researched the matter further, concerned that it might affect her nail growth.

The reason for the details that trigger our anxious behavior may be uncertainty. When we feel anxious about the results and impact, it may be easy to internalize and thus generate various reflections and confirmatory behaviors. Being aware of the reasons for its existence may help the questioner reduce anxiety.

Anticipating the worst case scenario can also provide a sense of assurance. The questioner may wish to consider whether, if the worst has already occurred, they would feel more at ease and be better equipped to find a solution.

The pursuit of perfection is a quality reserved for deities, not humans. Consequently, the notion of a supreme being is unfounded. We are all ordinary individuals, and we will also have the limitations of ordinary individuals. Accepting our shortcomings and taking calculated risks may reduce the frequency of internal conflicts. For instance, when you marked the scale on the aluminum foil tape, what factors did you consider when making the decision? Prioritizing the two evils and selecting the lesser of the two may make the questioner less likely to regret their decision.

It would be beneficial to identify which aspects of the situation tend to cause unease. While doing so, it would also be helpful to record the decision-making considerations at the time. This may assist the questioner in gaining a sense of certainty and in retrospectively reviewing the time spent internally, as well as enabling them to review the details.

The questioner may wish to consider why they have been particularly prone to internal conflict over these trivial matters in the past two to three months. It may also be helpful to identify any changes that may have occurred in this period that could have contributed to this.

It would be beneficial to identify potential triggers, such as an excessive focus on negative news and confusion regarding your child's care, which could assist in making targeted adjustments.

It would be beneficial to alter your perspective. For instance, consider that there are also rice cookers made of aluminum. If the child is exposed to a sterile environment, it will be challenging for them to adapt to the outside world when they attend school later. Focusing on the positive aspects will help alleviate the questioner's concerns.

I suggest you read "A Change of Heart."

Best regards,

Hello, question asker! I can feel your inner struggle and exhaustion at this moment, and I'm here to help.

It seems like you've been dwelling on past trivial matters a bit too much lately. It's understandable that it's causing you a lot of pain. Please know that this is not a problem with you, but a normal psychological reaction that we all may have when faced with certain situations.

We've all been there! We've all had moments when we dwell on the past. But it's so important to learn to let go of the facts that cannot be changed and focus on the present and the future. Because the only thing that can truly affect our lives are our current choices and actions.

I'd like to share a little story I heard that I think you'll find quite inspiring. There was once a little girl who was always worried that her shoes weren't pretty enough. She spent the whole day thinking about how to change into a pair of prettier shoes.

One day, she met a wise man who told her something really interesting. He said, "My child, your shoes are already very beautiful, but more importantly, you must learn to appreciate the way you walk." This story shows us that it's better to focus on the growth and progress within ourselves, rather than dwelling on things that we can't change.

It's totally normal to think back to the past sometimes. It's just our minds working through things. Anxiety can make us worry about the future and dwell on the past.

But please remember that true courage is not being able to avoid making mistakes, but rather having the courage to face them and learn from them. You can try to alleviate this anxiety by taking some time to breathe deeply, meditate, or find something you enjoy doing to feel happier and more relaxed.

I just wanted to say that you've already considered your child responsibly, which is so great! And I really do believe that most everyday items are perfectly safe to use as long as you follow the instructions.

If you still have any doubts, you can always check out some professional materials or chat with experts in the relevant fields. Just don't let these doubts take up too much of your precious time and energy, OK?

Now, let's tackle those questions together. You're not really stuck on the trivial matters themselves, but rather on the consequences that these trivial matters may bring.

We all get worried sometimes, and it can really affect our daily lives. So let's find ways to let go of our worries and regain that inner peace!

I've got a few tips for you! First, try writing down your worries and concerns, and then analyze their plausibility and likelihood one by one.

This way, you can take a step back and see things more clearly, and you'll find it's easier to let go of worries that don't help. Second, it's good to learn to distract yourself.

When you're feeling anxious, try doing something you enjoy, like listening to music, drawing, or going for a walk. These activities can help you relax and relieve anxiety.

I also think it would be really helpful for you to try some relaxation techniques. For example, deep breathing and meditation.

Take a deep breath! It'll help you calm down and relieve tension. Try meditation too. It'll help you focus on the present and reduce your attachment to the past. Set aside some time every day to practice these relaxation techniques. You'll be amazed at how you can gradually develop your ability to relax!

And finally, remember that you're not alone. We all face difficulties and challenges, but if we face them bravely, we'll find a way through.

We're always here for you, and we're rooting for you to find your way out of this tricky situation and back to your inner peace and happiness.

Hello, question asker. It's like meeting someone in person when you read their words.

You seem meticulous, but this habit makes you feel uncomfortable. You want to adjust, right?

Let's talk about this habit.

You said, "I can't stop worrying about the past," and then "I tried to remember every detail." From what I've read so far, I want to know:

1. How long have you been like this?

2. Did anything happen before this that really affected you?

3. Have you ever recovered from this state before?

4. What did you do to get back on your feet?

5. What has kept you going until now?

Every state has a process. If we understand how we got to such a state and find the root cause, it will be easier to come up with ideas for dealing with it. Let's take a look at the example you gave.

This example is about feeding your child. You noticed that the bottle was hard to see the scale on, and you were worried that the tape would affect the child. You researched the tape, and then I would like to give you the following considerations:

1. Have you ever felt insecure about your own growth?

2. How long ago was that?

3. How did you get through it?

4. Who else was involved?

As a mother, it's natural to be vigilant about your child's safety when breastfeeding. But if you feel you're paying too much attention to this and noticing changes in your state, you're already making an effort to extricate yourself from this state, which is a great start.

However, we should pay attention to the internal conflict.

Your child's safety is your main worry. You think you could have done more. This makes you doubt yourself. You feel anxious.

I hope your visit to this platform will help you overcome your internal conflict. It's a powerful thing to do. You've already shown great strength by asking for help. — You've worked hard!

If you can, take a moment to slow down your thoughts before you act.

Here are a few things to think about when it comes to relaxation.

1. What are your interests and hobbies?

2. Do your hobbies and interests help you find your natural rhythm?

3. When do you feel safe?

I hope these three details help you relax.

Time's up! This is the end of my response and sharing.

Take care of yourself. You'll be more relaxed and able to enjoy your child's growth.

I hope you're well and we'll meet again.

If an individual's personality is excessively inflexible in these rational and practical aspects, it is likely to result in compulsive states in both thinking and behavior.

The internal parent figure always has high standards for their actions and thoughts, and they try to maintain their self-esteem by meeting these standards. When they have to make compromises, they become concerned. If such compromises also include the fear of misconduct, they are even more overwhelmed. Emotionally dependent individuals also have a lot to worry about, but are more concerned about external criticism. Only decisions that are beyond reproach can be considered perfect. After a decision has been made after looking ahead and back, the most concerning consequence is a feeling of self-control.

This feeling of suspicion impedes the ability to make informed decisions and exercise free choice.

If the mind is forced to only experience the overall shape of a decision or opinion without reacting, but instead has a detailed interpretation of specific scattered details, as the proverb says: seeing the trees but not the forest. Of course, these behaviors come from the unconscious.

The issues you identify through awareness may prove to be the most valuable assets in your life, offering significant opportunities for personal growth. You may wish to engage the services of a counselor or a listening partner on the platform to assist you in exploring these issues and in developing greater awareness. You will gain valuable insights into the nature of knowledge and choice. As you embark on this journey of growth, you will undoubtedly gain greater happiness and freedom.