How to emerge from the shadow of postgraduate entrance exam failure after investing so much?

In light of the failure you have experienced, particularly in comparison with a peer among your relatives, you can gain a deeper understanding of the depression, helplessness, and powerlessness you are experiencing. First, express your sympathy by shaking hands.

First and foremost, navigating numerous setbacks will foster resilience. Currently, you are in the midst of preparing for exams and entering graduate school. Soon, you will transition into the workforce, establish a career, and eventually, form relationships, get married, and start a family.

I assure you that the failure of the entrance exam is insignificant in comparison to the challenges you will face in the future. As you mentioned, you have developed a strong sense of self-esteem and competitiveness. It is beneficial to have comparisons and goals.

You are driven by a desire for progress and growth.

Secondly, a moderate sense of inadequacy will serve as the driving force behind your pursuit of success. It is important to recognize that no individual is perfect, and it is unfeasible to be perfect in every way.

I believe that you also have skills and abilities that you are good at and excel in, as well as your own interests and hobbies. This is also true for your future career. To succeed, you must leverage your strengths and avoid your weaknesses.

Third, it is essential to assess progress and growth in relation to one's own performance, rather than comparing it to that of others. To ensure consistent advancement and growth, it is crucial to dedicate oneself to rigorous study and work, while maintaining a positive and stable mindset.

Everyone has their own trajectory of growth and change, and everyone is ultimately different. It is more beneficial to compare yourself with your past and former self than to compare yourself with other people's present circumstances. It is crucial to recognize and understand your own strengths and weaknesses as soon as possible, capitalize on current opportunities, and address current challenges and risks.

Ultimately, you may still experience some sadness for a few days. In such instances, it is advisable to relax completely, take a vacation to the countryside, watch your favorite movies and TV series, and have fun with your best friends. After that, it is important to take the time to reflect on your situation, recognize your strengths, and believe that you can gradually move towards success.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am contacting you regarding your personal public account, which I have identified as "Pretentious Young People" (ID: qingnianJIA2020). I am interested in maintaining communication with you. Best regards, [Name]

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Every year, many people want to take the postgraduate entrance exam, and the passing score for the exam seems to be moving upward, which means there's more room for improvement! Not everyone can win in this competitive competition, but that's okay because this is the way the system is set up.

This system encourages people to keep going until they succeed. Many people are willing to take the postgraduate entrance exam three or four times, as if they will not stop until they achieve their goal. They will not turn back until they hit a wall. This is especially true for those who have put in a lot of effort, time, and energy.

I know it can feel like you've invested too much time and energy into the postgraduate entrance exam, and that can make it tough to stay positive. I'm sorry you didn't make it to the second round of interviews, but you've got to remember that everyone who prepared for the exam with you has succeeded in their own way. It's not about who made it further than you, it's about celebrating your own achievements and moving forward with a positive mindset.

Why is it that you are so unlucky, while everyone else is so lucky? It's so unfair! Then my cousin's results for the second exam were also very successful. The family laughed and joked as if they were mocking my own powerlessness, or as if my failure was so sudden.

The excellence of others can also be a great motivator for you to excel! It's not just your cousin, but also the children of other families around you. They seem to be very good at everything, and they have an advantage in every way. How can you compete with that? However, in the face of your own failure, you still need to find a breakthrough. How can you change your approach and see where you went wrong?

We can correct our mistakes at any time. We don't need to compare ourselves with others. We all have our own paths and our own opinions. If you fail this time, you can try again next time or find another way out. Because taking the postgraduate entrance exam is not a must, if you think it is, perhaps you can try again at your own pace. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello,

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a heart exploration coach. I took a close look at the post, and I could tell that the author was struggling with self-attack and anger.

At the same time, I also noticed that the poster was brave enough to express his own distress and actively sought help on the platform, which undoubtedly helped him better understand and recognize himself, so that he could adjust himself and encounter a better self.

Next, I'll share some observations and thoughts from the post that might help the poster see herself in a different light.

1. Manage your emotions before tackling the task at hand.

From the post, it seems like the original poster didn't pass the postgraduate entrance exam, and many of his peers have already made it. It also looks like he's being used for comparison. This is really frustrating.

It's already tough to fail the postgraduate entrance exam on your own, and it's even tougher to see those around you who haven't put in as much work as you have. Being compared to them really gets under our skin. The original poster has really struggled with all this, and it hasn't been easy.

So, when we're up against our own toughest challenges, should we treat ourselves a little better?

How can we express our emotions in a reasonable way that helps us feel happier?

The host might be able to write down their thoughts and feelings.

It doesn't have to be perfect when you're writing. The main thing is to get your feelings down on paper. When we write, we're actually listening to our feelings, which helps to reduce negative emotions and boost positive ones.

As we go through this process, we can find some relief from our emotions.

Of course, the host can also express his emotions in whatever way he prefers. When we focus on our emotions and find ways to calm them, we can then approach challenges with more calm.

2. Give yourself a break and take care of yourself.

Often, it's our own harshness towards ourselves that's the final straw. But, in reality, gentle care for ourselves gives us the strength to keep going. In the post, it was noted that the poster was reluctant to accept that he'd failed the postgraduate entrance exam, and other challenges had made him somewhat self-doubting and self-attacking.

The original poster feels very tired. Have you ever thought about why you are so tired?

I think there's a connection between feeling tired and self-doubt and self-attack.

Because when we doubt and attack ourselves, we end up with a lot of internal conflict, which uses up a lot of our energy. When our energy is low, how can we not be tired?

So, if the original poster wants to move on from this failure, the first thing to do is to let go of the fact that you didn't get in. Only then can we stop attacking ourselves and stop letting ourselves run down.

3. Try to look at this from a few different angles.

I know you're going through a rough patch right now. It's fair to say you've put in a lot of hard work and yet haven't achieved the success you were aiming for.

But now that it's over, there's nothing we can do to change that fact. So when we try to accept that fact, we can stop attacking ourselves and reduce internal conflict.

But we can't change what happened in the past. What we can do, though, is change the way we look at things.

We can look at the situation in a different way and find something positive in what happened.

For instance, if you face a lot of pain this time, you'll also be able to handle it, right? People who don't go through these experiences don't get the chance to develop that ability. But they still face pain and setbacks in their lives.

So, we've been putting ourselves through this kind of thing in advance, haven't we?

For instance, this experience has given us a deeper insight into human nature, hasn't it? These insights are valuable for our professional lives.

I like the idea that after we experience something, we either gain or learn. And sometimes learning is another kind of reward.

So, in fact, we can try to look at events from different points of view.

4. Give it a go: build up your own defense system.

From what I can see in the post, it seems like the poster has been compared to others since childhood, and they still feel like they're in a position of inferiority.

I can relate to how you're feeling.

But after everything we've been through, don't you think we've woken up a bit? Surely we can build our own defense system to better protect ourselves?

We need to remember that we're the only ones who can hurt ourselves. Computers can run normally even with viruses because they have their own firewall and antivirus software.

So, for now, we can try to put together our own defense system. We can work on building up our own internal and objective evaluation of ourselves.

When we can look at ourselves from an adult perspective, we'll be better able to handle the opinions of others.

I hope these are helpful and inspiring to the original poster. Of course, getting out of the shadow takes more than just an answer to a question. It also requires hard work and learning.

If you need to talk some more, you can click to find a coach. They'll be there to support you and help you grow, one-on-one.

As someone who has taken the college entrance exam on two occasions and narrowly missed success on the postgraduate entrance exam, I would like to share my thoughts with you.

1. Despite my best efforts, I am unable to match the performance of my peers. I am experiencing a high level of fatigue.

I acknowledge that I am not the most capable individual. I kindly request that you refrain from belittling me by surpassing me in the future.

From an early age, she felt the need to demonstrate her abilities in front of me, which led to a strong sense of pride and inferiority.

"

I can discern the strong emotions in your description: anger, resentment, and self-blame. However, I believe you are aware that these emotions are unproductive. It is likely that you are simply experiencing fatigue and seeking an outlet for your frustration.

Are you pleased to see that you can express your emotions in writing? Congratulations, you have taken the first step towards a new understanding of yourself.

1. With regard to the remark in question, it would appear that you have been subjected to a similar observation since the commencement of your schooling. It is, of course, a common experience, and one that is likely to be encountered by individuals of a higher caliber as well.

It is simply not visible to you. The object of comparison for your loved ones is your cousin, which is an inescapable reference.

However, individuals who are significantly more accomplished than your cousin may draw comparisons to those from esteemed universities such as Harvard, Stanford, and Cambridge. Even those who are perceived as the "winners" and "best" face challenges commonly experienced by other people's children.

2. It is not possible to satisfy all human desires. Once expectations have been met, new desires will emerge. Therefore, if one becomes overly focused on this, it will be impossible to experience happiness.

There is no gain without pain, loss, and frustration. A failed exam is not a significant issue, and it is not guaranteed that hard work will always be rewarded.

In addition to hard work, success is also related to opportunity and luck, which are beyond your control. If everything goes according to plan, it would be a very boring world.

In the event of failure, there is always the option of trying again. While it is not possible to prevent people from spreading rumors, it is possible to filter out negative information.

Transform them into the strength to rise up again if the opportunity arises. If you are tired or lack the energy to take the exam again, you can choose to enter the workplace and society first.

While studying, I will also look for opportunities to take the postgraduate entrance exam again. It would be unwise to make things more difficult for myself.

2. "In fact, my greatest source of frustration is that I was not admitted to the university, while many of my colleagues were. Some were even admitted through a process that involved memorizing a few questions."

Do not penalize yourself for the achievements of others, as this will only exacerbate your distress.

You may feel indignant because others may have invested less than you, but why has fortune not favored you, an orphan, but those who are "opportunistic"? Reflect on it: there is nothing outstanding or desirable about them. Perhaps you were just going about it the wrong way, preparing in a too formulaic direction.

Rigid efforts are akin to a self-contained planet that is inaccessible to others.

Good day.

From what you have shared, it seems that you have experienced some challenges and difficulties. It is also evident that the support and guidance you received from your family may have been limited, which could have contributed to the sense of uncertainty and instability you are currently facing.

If I may, I would like to mention two stories to you first, which you can read at your leisure.

Marie Curie, a female Nobel Prize laureate, is also a well-known figure in China. After her husband passed away, she was subjected to criticism from the French for her relationship with a man of Polish descent. When World War I broke out, she went to the front line and used radiography to assist in the treatment of wounded soldiers.

It is unfortunate that she passed away from aplastic anemia due to inadequate radiation protection measures.

When Princess Wencheng married into Tubo, it would be fair to say that the infrastructure of Tubo was not as advanced as that of the Tang Dynasty at the time.

Upon entering Tubo, she introduced a number of valuable skills, including silver smelting technology, which proved beneficial to the developing land.

Princess Wencheng was a devout Buddhist who played an instrumental role in the construction of the Jokhang Temple in Lhasa and provided assistance to Princess Bhrikuti of Nivāra (present-day Nepal) in the building of the Jokhang Temple. The statue of Sakyamuni that Princess Wencheng brought from Chang'an to Tubo is still preserved in the Jokhang Temple today.

It would seem that when a person's fate is influenced by external forces, there are some women who, with an open and broad-minded attitude, have made great achievements that benefit the country and the people.

In today's society, some people do place a high value on academic qualifications.

The questioner is surely aware of the distinction between accumulating credits and life wisdom.

Your preparation for the postgraduate entrance exam has instilled in you a determination to learn, self-discipline, and a healthy balance between work and rest. These valuable qualities can be applied to many aspects of life and study.

A good foundation in English will undoubtedly help you actively absorb the fruits of Western civilization. However, it is important to recognize that even if your English grades are not as high as you would like, they do not necessarily negate all of your efforts.

It would be relatively simple to explain to your relatives that

With the passage of time and the accumulation of experiences, one's wisdom naturally deepens. Similarly, engaging with literature and exploring new horizons can also contribute to this growth.

As the Chinese classic "The Great Learning" suggests, "If one renews oneself every day, every day will be new." From this moment on, you may be able to discover that there are no limits to your own development.

Let's cut to the chase and analyze the real reason for this situation.

1. The questioner failed to identify the root issue in the attribution process, which is an ineffective approach to resolving the matter.

The question owner was understandably upset about failing the postgraduate entrance exam, having invested so much effort the previous year. However, his lack of English proficiency prevented him from even reaching the second interview.

They both failed the English section of the college and postgraduate entrance exams.

The questioner is upset about failing the postgraduate entrance exam because they put in a lot of effort. They believe that their poor English prevented them from even entering the second round of interviews. They think their English grades should be blamed for their failure in the exam. I understand their feelings because I also failed the English CET-4 and CET-6 exams during my college entrance exam. However, I realized that if I couldn't overcome the difficulty of English, it would be the biggest obstacle in my other exams. I didn't want it to become a stumbling block that affected my failure. I had to hate it and learn it so that I could control it. Later, I was not affected by English during the postgraduate entrance exam, and I also passed the English teacher qualification exam. Now I can get along well with English. I shared my experience with my cousin. After failing the CET-4 three times, she worked hard to overcome her difficulties with English and get along with it. Finally, she passed the CET-4 and even the CET-6 at once.

If English learning is a hindrance on the road to your postgraduate entrance exam, then you must face it, overcome it, and control it. Don't let it become a reason or cause for your failure in the postgraduate entrance exam. Instead, use it as a capital for your success in the postgraduate entrance exam and various English exams.

2. The questioner will attribute to successful people in the attribution process, which prevents them from learning from the experiences of others.

The questioner is convinced that the success of their classmates who took the exam with them was due to good fortune. They believe that they studied hard but were not successful because they memorized a few questions, while their classmates simply studied and got lucky. However, I suggest that the questioner ask themselves and recall the learning experiences of those classmates who took the exam with them. Did they really get on the boat so easily despite the severe situation of the postgraduate entrance exam? Another possibility is that they studied the past questions and question-setting patterns diligently and have a certain ability to predict the questions. This led to their success. They also had to make a certain effort behind the scenes.

If the questioner attributes in this way, only seeing the surface of the problem, or believing what they want to believe, rather than the real situation, it will undoubtedly make it difficult for the questioner to learn and absorb the successful experiences of others. This will inevitably cause them to continue to learn in the same way as before, which will limit their thinking and prevent them from making breakthroughs in learning.

3. The questioner has likely been influenced by the family environment since childhood, which has prevented him from effectively regulating his emotions and thoughts in response to setbacks.

I know the questioner has an excellent cousin at home. His mother loves to brag in front of him, which hurts his self-esteem. I have a colleague who has had this experience. I also believe that the questioner's mother cares more about her children. She is willing to believe that her children are excellent and no worse than their cousin. She is more willing to describe the other person's bad character. This hurts others' self-esteem. She is also unwilling to let her children learn from their cousin's successful experience. This is out of pride and the delicate relationship between sisters-in-law. When the questioner encounters failure in his own learning process, he is also more willing to believe and prove that the other person is not really that outstanding. He just has a little luck on his side.

I also experienced this when I was a child. Everyone in a family has at least one person who thinks they're doing well. Many of them pay compliments. We all want to be the center of attention. We don't want to be marginalized and looked down upon. We avoid contact with such people and avoid learning from them about success. However, I changed my views with age and experience. These people have something we need to learn from. We can improve ourselves in other ways, but we should not ignore the importance of learning from successful family members and relatives. We should use all the resources around us to become better. We should also become more open-minded and focus on becoming the center of attention. We should forgive others' mistakes to help others.

I learned from their experiences and was able to help them analyze problems they couldn't figure out and solve complex real-life problems. I also formed a good relationship with my family members through mutual assistance and interaction.

I am going to give the questioner some suggestions that I hope will help.

1. Don't stress, relax, understand failure and setbacks correctly, and seek the best way to succeed.

The questioner needs to understand that the postgraduate entrance exam is not easy. In fact, it is much more difficult than the college entrance exam. When I took the postgraduate entrance exam, I found it much simpler than the college entrance exam. However, I also experienced the current postgraduate entrance exam the year before last year. Because there are too many candidates, the score line has also risen rapidly in recent years. This makes it very difficult to take the postgraduate entrance exam now. It is also normal for the questioner and many candidates to experience failure and setbacks in the postgraduate entrance exam. Many of my colleagues' children around me have all succeeded in the second or third attempt. This shows that the questioner can succeed if they try again. The questioner just needs to learn from their mistakes and find the best way to succeed.

2. Think differently and find a better way to study.

The questioner can learn from the experiences of those who have succeeded. They can expand their own thinking and find a better way to learn. I can attest to this from my own experience. I took the postgraduate entrance exam and the teacher qualification exam. I obtained a lot of training materials from the training institutions before the exam. Their predictions were really accurate. I think that learning through institutions may require some investment. However, it can really be twice the result with half the effort during the learning and review process. My cousin also searched the Internet herself. She found a lot of materials for studying politics and English. The hit rate for the questions was also very high. I hope the questioner can learn from the successful experiences of those around them. They should do this through multiple channels with an open mind. This will definitely bring a breakthrough to the questioner's review.

Everyone will experience setbacks and pressures from all kinds of environments. The questioner must look at everything around them optimistically, actively embrace and integrate into their surroundings, and use better ways to achieve efficient success and their ideal life goals.

Because of her? Your cousin?

There's no doubt about it: comparison is the thief of joy. It's when you compare what you don't have with what others have that you start to feel down. And it's at times like these that comparisons really get to you. So, how can you avoid them?

Remember the Kobayashi comic strip saying: when you're feeling down, give yourself more praise and less to others.

The sky through which birds fly never leaves a trace. You have flown through the sky, haven't you? You have fought hard many times since childhood, and you are amazing for that alone.

From childhood to adulthood, your nurturers likely didn't internalize many affirming looks and words, which led you to need the goals and affirmations of others to prove your own value.

You are valuable. It doesn't matter how ordinary you think you are, you are also a limited edition.

You are your own king and you are your glory. Give yourself some recognition.

When times like this come, you must turn your gaze back to yourself and care for yourself more. I present you with my beloved book, "The Power of Self-Care," and I know you will find your own power in it too.

I hope you are well.

I love myself, the world, and you.