How to handle falling for other girls after years of being in a relationship?

Long-distance relationships are really full of twists and turns and spy wars, aren't they? Some people say that a long-distance relationship between two people will become a family of four, because long-distance relationships are very prone to emotional instability. The two sides also don't spend every day together, so it's easy to let yourself be attracted to some of the temptations around you.

It's also worth noting that after being in a relationship for many years, you've found yourself attracted to other girls. This could be a sign that you've already been seduced by other people. It's something that might cause you some trouble in the long run and help you realize that this state of affairs isn't really working for you.

It's so important to remember that even though you've been together for six years and have a lot of love and affection for each other, you still need to be careful. It would be such a shame to let someone come along and spoil all that you have built together. And of course, your parents have already met and you're getting engaged! All of this is so precious and worth cherishing.

Maybe you had a fight over something and are still in a cold war. It's always best to talk about it clearly to find out what the exact type of argument was about and whether it was about values. The other girl seems to be excellent in every way, and of course when we don't know someone well, we tend to see the good in each other.

It's totally normal to have different views after a long relationship. It's great that you feel so attracted to her! But being attracted doesn't necessarily mean you have to become a couple. It might be better for both of you to handle things as friends. You should definitely have a good talk with your girlfriend and seek psychological counseling to see why the two of you are fighting, and whether you can still live together after resolving the problems. Good luck!

ZQ?

Dear author, It's as if I'm seeing you in person.

From what I can gather from your text, it seems that you and your girlfriend have been through a lot together and are about to get married. However, during this time, you had a disagreement and unexpectedly met a girl who had an unexpected impact on you.

She evokes a certain flutter in your heart, yet also leaves you with a sense of uncertainty.

I believe that love is exclusive.

I was suddenly struck by a saying that I thought might be relevant here: "Heartbeat is not the answer, but a settled heart is." I'm not sure how you would define your relationship with your girlfriend.

It's possible that the challenges of a long-term relationship have made it feel less exciting. Do you still recall the initial spark?

I wonder if you could imagine leaving your girlfriend for someone else.

Could you please tell me what made you fall for that girl?

I wonder if it might be her personal charm, such as her gentleness and kindness, and her ability to understand others, that first attracted you to her.

2. It may be the case that you perceive similarities between your experiences and those of the person you're interested in, which could lead you to believe that you are of a similar kind of person.

I hope you will find the following advice helpful.

In such a situation, I believe I would also have a positive impression. However, it is important to ask yourself whether this is truly love.

I believe that if you truly love someone, you should be able to say that they are the only one for you. And there is nothing wrong with having a good impression of her.

It would be helpful to know how to strike the right balance and to have a yardstick in your heart.

It seems that they feel guilty and choose not to continue communicating.

If I might offer my perspective, I believe this may be an act of avoidance. The issue seems to be present, and this approach may not fully address it.

It might be helpful to take some time to reflect on this question. It could be beneficial to consider the possibility of reconciling with your girlfriend and getting married, as well as whether there is still love to sustain it.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether this girl is someone you truly like and think is suitable for you in the long term.

It would be beneficial for both of you to be honest with each other in your relationship, so that you can have a clear conscience.

If the questioner has thought the answer through, it would be wise to face it bravely and not run away. We have the right to choose, but also the corresponding responsibility to bear.

I hope that what I have shared will be of some help to the questioner, even though it is just a little bit of my opinion.

I hope you have a happy life and enjoy success at work.

I hope that the world and I can show you our love.

Good morning, my name is Coach Fei Yun, and I'm here to offer you my support and a listening ear.

I can see how difficult this is for you. It seems you are caught between two options, uncertain and struggling, as if you are caught between two voices.

Some might say it's a form of "brainwashing."

On the one hand, there is a relationship that has been going on for 5-6 years and is already at the stage of talking about marriage. On the other hand, when there is a disagreement with your girlfriend, you meet someone you believe may be a better match.

?1. Could I ask where your internal friction is?

Internal conflict can be defined as a conflict between what your mind thinks should be and what is actually the case. It can be likened to having two opposing forces within your mind, which can result in a lack of energy and a reduced ability to engage in activities or fully appreciate the present moment.

Internal conflict can be defined as a conflict between what your mind thinks should be and what is in reality. It can be likened to having two opposing forces within your mind, which can result in a lack of energy and a reduced ability to engage in activities or fully appreciate the present moment.

On the one hand, your internal conflict may arise from the belief that falling in love with another girl could be perceived as betraying your girlfriend and the relationship, and that you may be seen as unworthy of love.

It is perhaps worth noting that we are all used to evaluating a person or thing using our own values and standards. Having values means having judgments, and judgments are beliefs.

We tend to evaluate people and situations based on our personal values and standards. Having values often involves making judgments, which are based on beliefs.

It is beneficial to exercise judgment in order to gain direction. When embarking on a relationship, it is important to be faithful, which entails respect for oneself and the other person. Should there be a breach of this trust through what is known as "spiritual infidelity," it can cause significant pain and betrayal.

It is beneficial to exercise judgment in order to gain direction. When starting a relationship, it is important to be faithful, which is a matter of respect for both yourself and the other person. Should there be a breach of this trust through what is known as "spiritual infidelity," it can cause significant pain and betrayal.

However, it is important to recognize that judgment can sometimes solidify and lead to a limited belief. Fixation, in this context, can be defined as a hardened obsession caused by limited perception. For instance, marriage is often seen as a lifetime of happiness, and it's natural to wonder if your current girlfriend is truly the one you want to marry without hesitation. Similarly, it's not uncommon to imagine building a family and spending your lives together in the future.

"Fixation" may potentially lead to a less fluid approach to life, which could potentially distort relationships and even result in their destruction.

On the other hand, your internal conflict may be rooted in the fact that after spending 5-6 years with your girlfriend, the passion has faded, and you may be experiencing some apprehension about your future married life for the next few decades. And on the other hand, you feel that this girl is the one for you – in every way, she is far more similar to you than your girlfriend.

Could I perhaps pose a question to you all?

2. Perhaps we could learn some truths about relationships and marriage.

? 2. Let's consider some insights about relationships and marriage.

A perfect love is thought to require three elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment. It is often the case that passion is more pronounced when one is in love.

For instance, the initial attraction period is a time when both partners are drawn to one another. This can be influenced by various factors, such as personality, appearance, and qualities.

It might be helpful to think of relationships as having three stages: the two people's interests and hobbies, the two people's living habits, and the two families/families after entering into marriage.

2) There is also the appreciation period, which can be influenced by hormonal changes. During this time, it's natural to focus on the positive aspects of the other person. This is often expressed as "the lover sees the beloved as beautiful."

After spending a long time together, where there is so much passion, it will be affected by some specific details of life. Over time, this passion can transform into a feeling of family. When you use marriage to protect each other, it can be seen as a manifestation of "commitment."

In addition to the above two stages, there are also a few other aspects to consider in an intimate relationship.

3) The period of habit: love – transformed into affection, when each partner learns to appreciate the good and bad sides of the other (this is a long-term phase to go through).

It is certainly challenging to maintain a loving relationship without experiencing moments of fatigue. The fairy-tale love of Mr. Qian Zhongshu and Ms. Yang Jiang, which many admire, was also sustained through the efforts of both individuals.

It is certainly challenging to maintain a loving relationship without experiencing moments of fatigue. The enduring love between Mr. Qian Zhongshu and Ms. Yang Jiang, often admired by others, was sustained through the dedication and commitment of both individuals.

4) Expectation period: We often find ourselves hoping that our partner will make some changes.

4) Expectation period: We often find ourselves hoping that our partner will make some changes in areas that we feel are not quite right for us. (It's like you're about to get married, but you're constantly fighting. This is actually the adjustment period in the new stage.)

5) Disappointment period: As time goes on, subtle changes may occur in the relationship. When hopes are not fulfilled, it is natural for disappointment to arise. This can result in a shift from a positive to a negative relationship dynamic. As disappointment accumulates, it may have an impact on the relationship.

5) Disappointment period: A subtle change occurs in the relationship. When hopes are not fulfilled, it is natural for hope to turn into disappointment, which can result in the relationship changing from positive to negative. As disappointment accumulates, it is understandable that the relationship may deteriorate.

Virginia Satir, a renowned family therapy expert, once observed that when a man and a woman engage in conversation about their feelings, they often begin by discussing the weather, then move on to facts, and eventually, opinions. Gradually, they begin to open up about their feelings, and eventually, they reach a point where they can comfortably and confidently discuss their vulnerabilities with each other.

In reality, however, the opposite tends to occur. The typical sequence is: talk about the weather, talk about facts, talk about opinions, and finally, talk about feelings. This sequence can contribute to the breakdown of a relationship.

Could I perhaps suggest that we consider the following?

If I might suggest a way to repair a relationship, it would be to:

One possible way to repair a relationship might be:

1. Is willing to express their feelings:

It could be said that a connection on an emotional level is a prerequisite for intimacy.

Expressing your feelings is a great way to build intimacy. When there are differences in opinion, it's natural for there to be some disagreement. It's not always easy to find common ground, but it's important to keep an open mind and be respectful of each other's views.

It is often the case that reasoning in a relationship will lead to arguments. It is therefore important to remember that if you win the argument, you may lose the relationship. It could be said that "emotion guides action, reason guides thinking."

2. It is best to avoid complaining.

If your hopes are not fulfilled, you may wish to consider making a request. It is possible that complaining could lead to a sense of frustration.

It may be helpful to remember that behind every complaint lies an unmet need.

3. Consider removing your armor.

It might be helpful to consider removing your armor in front of your loved ones.

Intimacy can be defined as a state of being without fear in the presence of another person.

I believe that openness, connection, and intimacy are key elements in any healthy relationship.

It might be said that external relationships are in some way related to our relationships with our parents.

It could be said that external relationships are in some way related to our relationships with our parents.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to use this "gap period" between you and your girlfriend to your advantage.

3. It would be beneficial to make the most of this "gap period" between you and your girlfriend.

Take some time to reflect on your past experiences of getting along with each other, and consider which patterns you can change and which are simply incompatible. If you haven't been able to resolve these issues before marriage, it might be challenging to do so afterwards.

Take some time to reflect on your past experiences of getting along together. Consider which patterns you can change and which are mutually incompatible. If you haven't been able to resolve these issues before marriage, it might be challenging to do so after.

It is important to recognize that quarrels often arise when one or both parties feel that their needs are not being met. It is crucial to avoid avoidance and cold wars, as they are not constructive. Instead, it is essential to strive for effective communication, as this is the key to achieving mutual understanding and finding solutions together.

It is important to recognize that quarrels often arise when one or both parties feel that their needs are not being met. It is crucial to avoid avoidance and cold wars, as they are not constructive. Instead, it is essential to engage in effective communication to express opinions, transmit emotions, achieve a consensus, and jointly find solutions to problems.

At the same time, it might be helpful to let go of the obsession with being responsible for this 5-6 year relationship. After all, happiness is a lifelong thing, so it could be beneficial to think carefully about the compatibility between you, especially in terms of interests and hobbies, and living habits.

It might be helpful to think of marriage as more about living together in a concrete way.

I would like to respectfully suggest that you read the book "If Only I Knew Before Marriage."

I hope the above is helpful to you. I also hope that the world and I can show you our love.

I hope the above is helpful to you. With love, The world and I

If you would like to continue our dialogue, you are welcome to click on the "Find a coach" link, which you will find in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, question asker! I'm the answer key, Enoch. From what you've told me, it seems like you were getting ready to propose to your girlfriend of five or six years when you met a girl who really caught your eye. I can imagine how you felt! You were caught in a tricky situation, but you were still worried that if you got too involved, you'd let your girlfriend down. It's a tough spot to be in, isn't it?

Let's take a look at this complicated relationship together and see what we can do to make it better!

1. Let's dive into the relationship between the questioner and his girlfriend!

The poor guy has been in a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend for five or six years, and they are still living apart! Both sets of parents have met, and they are ready to get engaged.

During this time, we didn't talk much because of some misunderstandings. Then, I met a girl who I really hit it off with and who also made me feel excited. So, there was a bit of a rift in my relationship with my girlfriend, but I didn't want to get into it any deeper, for fear of disappointing her.

It's totally understandable if the questioner is attracted to other girls. It might even show that he doesn't have that deep an emotional connection with his girlfriend, or that she's not his ideal marriage partner.

Then why not make the other person the irreplaceable person in your heart?

(1) They've been dating for quite some time, but they still don't know each other as well as they'd like to.

It's been about five or six years since the questioner started dating his girlfriend. They've been in a long-distance relationship, so they haven't had the chance to see if they really get along when they're together day and night. They have more phone calls to check on each other and talk about their feelings, but they rarely take care of each other in their daily lives or support each other through thick and thin. Sometimes the other person doesn't have a deeper understanding of their situation and can't understand them well, so they feel more shallow comfort in this relationship. They're unable to bring substantial mutual support and encouragement in life and at work.

(2) It can be tough when you're in a long-distance relationship and you're not able to help each other out with things like work, life, and studies. It's only natural to feel a bit helpless when you're not able to support each other in these ways.

It's true that romantic relationships, including marriage, bring people together in a way that makes us feel supported, dependent, and responsible for each other. We often turn to our loved ones, friends, and family for help when we need it. But long-distance relationships don't have that same social support. A friend of mine got married in a long-distance relationship. After the wedding, the distance didn't change. My friend was left to take care of the children by herself, solving various problems in life. Her boyfriend didn't take responsibility for raising the children. He didn't feel responsible for the children in his thinking. My friend often felt helpless in the marriage and had conflicts with her loved one. Unfortunately, it ended in divorce.

(3) It's totally normal for people in long-distance relationships to feel lonely and empty. It's also normal to feel a sense of freedom that comes with being able to explore other emotions without the usual boundaries.

It's so sad when a relationship lacks the spiritual support and life help you'd expect from a lover. And when you don't have those long face-to-face talks you'd previously looked forward to, it can make you feel even lonelier and emptier. It's so easy to fall into temptation when you're feeling conflicted and misunderstood by your lover. That's why the questioner was so drawn to girls who understood him after a conflict with his girlfriend.

2. Let's dive into the relationship between the questioner and the girl he's now attracted to!

It's so interesting how things play out in relationships! In the case of the questioner, it seems that the girl they met really understood them and helped them through a tough time. This made them feel really moved, and they expressed that they didn't want to get too deep into the relationship and were sorry for their girlfriend. But here's the thing: even though this girl was new and exciting, she wasn't quite the ideal match for the questioner.

I'd love to know why this is!

1. This relationship fills a void in the questioner's life and also brings them a greater sense of moral guilt.

The questioner may not have realized it themselves, but in fact, they accidentally met this girl when they were having a conflict with their girlfriend. They felt that the girl understood them better than their girlfriend, and the two girls formed a stark contrast, which attracted the questioner all of a sudden. However, after the questioner improved their mood with the comfort of this girl, they developed feelings that they shouldn't have. The questioner felt deeply guilty and self-blame, thinking that they owed their girlfriend an apology and didn't want to extend or continue this relationship.

2. The questioner's feelings in this relationship are all about empathy, understanding, and help. But it also makes the questioner feel like he can't break through himself.

The questioner feels that the newly-met girl can empathize and understand him better because she has similar experiences, and she can also offer practical help that is tailored to his personality. However, the questioner sees a similar version of himself in her, and he doesn't want to fall in love with himself. In a relationship, people not only hope to see similarities, but also hope to see differences that complement each other.

A happy, long-lasting relationship is all about having a good moral compass, being a responsible person, and looking good! But it's also about having similar values and a desire to grow and improve together.

After all, the questioner hasn't yet entered into marriage, and there's minimal harm in changing their minds now. Hopefully, though, this experience will help them understand what kind of emotions and what kind of marriage they need, and whether both parties can be willing to be faithful to each other in a future marriage. It'd also be great if they could find someone who'll keep them from becoming silent and boring in the future, but who'll also help them grow and progress together, and spend beautiful times together at each stage of life. Hopefully, they'll understand who's the right person for them to choose, or whether they have the courage to truly seek the person they need again, rather than a temporary form of satisfaction.

Hello!

Poster:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I read your post and saw a conflict in your heart.

The poster has also shown courage in sharing his struggles and seeking help. This will help him understand himself and the relationship better. He can then make choices that suit him.

Next, I'll share my thoughts from the post. They might help you see things differently.

1. What attracts you about your girlfriend?

The poster and his girlfriend have been in a long-distance relationship for five or six years.

What has supported you in having such a long-distance relationship? Long-distance relationships are more difficult than relationships where two people are together.

Think about why you and your girlfriend have been able to have a long-distance relationship for so long.

What do we need to know? The OP should also think about what attracts him to his girlfriend.

If your girlfriend didn't attract you, you wouldn't have talked to her for so long. It's still a long-distance relationship.

The original poster needs to think about this now.

2. Do you like this girl?

From the post, I can see that the girl the poster met gives him a lot of emotional value. She gives good advice because she is experienced. He is attracted to her and falling for her. Girls who give us emotional value are attractive.

I understand.

Is it love?

Is it just because she meets your needs? Think about it.

If you mistake need for like or love, you may get into trouble.

The other posts only talk about the good things about this girl. Have you ever thought about the bad things about her? We all have bad things about us.

Can you accept this part of yourself? Managing a relationship requires more than love.

3. Find your core needs.

The post shows a conflicted heart. We can go through it one by one.

What kind of relationship do we want? What are our needs?

Knowing what you want helps you choose.

But we also need to know that no one can meet all of our needs. As adults, we need to know what we want, but we can't have everything.

Tolerance and understanding are important in any relationship. But you also need to be able to deal with the bad parts.

4. Deal with problems in the relationship.

The host said he recently had a fight with his girlfriend. It's common to argue in a relationship.

Someone who studies marriage said that the happiest couple in the world still argues 50 times a year and wants to divorce 200 times. So arguing is common.

There are more happy times than arguments.

The host may also need to face the problems in your relationship. Go and see what happened, how the problems came about, and whether you can work out a solution.

You can do this. We look for satisfaction outside of relationships because we can't get it in them.

If you want to stay in the relationship, you can try to satisfy your needs there.

Read the book I Knew Before Marriage if you're interested. I hope it helps.

If you have questions, click "Find a Coach" to contact me.

Take a good, hard look at your current state of mind.

1. I'm very troubled and distressed, and I'm sorry for my girlfriend. I want to know if it feels like cheating. Is it cheating?

You are an honest child and a relatively responsible person. You understand the basic principles of being a human being and shoulder your responsibilities.

Be proud of having these fundamental human emotions. Celebrate yourself for having them.

2. Our family backgrounds are similar—she's a single parent who grew up alone, just like me. Our upbringing, life experiences, and even some hobbies and habits are very similar. She provides me with a lot of emotional value, and the advice she gives me is very practical because she has been there before. I can't help being attracted to her.

These descriptions are used to support your inner conflict and guilt. You expect others to agree with your inner inclination to choose this newly-recognized girl, but you don't want to bear the blame (break up with the person you have been in a five-year relationship with).

This is a normal mentality that any man might think. Your current behavior is like a vulnerable woman, so it's easy for you to accept the psychological counseling and emotional comfort of the new person.

This is dangerous, but you can handle it.

3. After five years together, even if you are in different places, you have not separated, which shows that you have a very solid emotional foundation. Arguments between lovers are inevitable, even if you get married and become husband and wife.

If it doesn't involve serious issues of trust, betrayal, or personality clashes, I believe there is a solution. It is not possible to love just one person for the entirety of your life; it would consume all your energy. However, you may feel "excited" about someone at different stages of your life, and this is not love.

Love doesn't require you to experience the ups and downs of life together or to face each other's shortcomings, weaknesses, and aesthetic fatigue every day. If you're tempted, it means you're attracted to a certain quality of the other person, not everything about her.