How to handle the awkwardness when speaking to others, especially when they are looking at me?

Perhaps you are introverted or uncertain, and you believe that others are closely observing your actions. However, in this world, it is important to recognize that you are not as important as you think, and that others are not necessarily paying close attention to your words and actions. Your perception of being watched may be a result of your own mental state.

Maintain an upward gaze, exude confidence, and refrain from concerning yourself with the opinions of others.

Individual personalities vary. Some individuals are direct, while others are more reserved. It is appropriate to maintain a low profile in certain circumstances. However, whether you are low-key, honest, or simply performing your duties, it does not imply timidity or weakness. It is acceptable to be honest and fulfill your responsibilities, but it is also essential to develop courage. If you lack confidence and timidity, it is crucial to identify and address these shortcomings.

By continually enhancing one's abilities and qualities, an individual can gain the confidence to take action without hesitation. In essence, one's personal growth determines their future potential. The adage "great skill gives one boldness" accurately reflects this concept.

People require encouragement from others and, just as importantly, from themselves. Some individuals begin their day by affirming their abilities in the mirror: "I can do it. I'm the best." This self-motivation and self-suggestion can have a markedly positive impact.

Good day, I can see that you are experiencing some confusion at the moment. Please accept my best wishes for a speedy resolution.

The issue you are currently facing is one of interpersonal conflict. I will offer you a warm embrace once more.

It is also possible that you are experiencing the following situation.

It is possible that you were offended by the way someone looked at you when you were speaking with them individually, which led to a misunderstanding.

It is possible that you have experienced hurt feelings in the past when communicating with others in a one-on-one setting.

It is essential to address and resolve the underlying issue.

Otherwise, the negative experience will not simply disappear. It will persist unless addressed.

The issue has merely been relegated to the subconscious by the individual in question.

The next time you encounter the same person, thing, or object, the negative experience will resurface.

What is the recommended course of action in this situation?

I recommend that you consult with a professional counselor to address the issues caused by your previous one-on-one eye contact with others.

I hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved in an effective and timely manner.

At this time, I am only able to offer these suggestions.

I hope my above response is both helpful and inspiring. As the respondent, I am committed to studying hard every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our best wishes to you and the world.

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

From what I can see, the problem you are describing is a social problem that many people have. But you are not special! This situation can also be changed through some methods.

Have you ever noticed how when someone looks at you for more than 20 seconds, you feel a little awkward and don't know where to look? It's a great opportunity to connect with someone and see what's going on in their mind! What are you thinking during this moment? Chances are, you're feeling a little nervous. When someone stares at you, it's natural to worry that they'll see something you don't like.

This is a great opportunity to focus on your inner feelings! We often get caught up in the little things, like a pimple or oil on our face, or what others think of our outfit. But, when we're talking to someone, it's important to let go of these distractions and focus on the conversation. It'll be a great way to build connection and rapport!

I'm ready to take control and make a change! What's the best way to do it?

You can boost your self-confidence in a flash by learning and exercising!

We all know that when talking to someone, it is polite to look at the other person in the eye. But staring at the other person for a long time will still make you feel a bit awkward. No problem! In this case, we can choose to briefly look away, pretending that our attention has been diverted by something else, and then look back at the other person to continue the conversation. I believe that the other person is unlikely to keep staring at us. And normally we will all slightly shift our angle before looking back at the other person's eyes. Easy!

The questioner will feel uncomfortable if someone stares at them for more than 20 seconds. But there's no need to worry! You can easily increase your self-confidence by sticking to your hobbies, developing your strengths, and reading more books on social interaction. When a person is confident, they will also be confident when others stare at them. They will not have too many thoughts in their mind, but instead focus their attention on the conversation with the other person.

When you're at home, you can also try looking at yourself in the mirror. You can even find pictures online that look like you're looking into the camera and staring at yourself! Then, slowly move to reality and spend more time looking into the eyes of family members, friends, and others when talking. Before you know it, it'll become second nature!

● Get out there and join more group activities!

The fact that the questioner is afraid of making eye contact with others for a long time is totally normal and nothing to worry about! It's all down to personality. If the questioner is not particularly talkative, they can easily change their personality by participating in more group activities.

There are so many amazing team-building activities out there, and the best part is that you don't have to limit yourself to people you know. The questioner should definitely check out these activities! If you're ready to put yourself out there and play games with strangers, you'll feel totally at ease when you're back in the company of colleagues or people around you.

The best part is that these kinds of group activities can also help you find some amazing friends! Get close to positive and optimistic people, and learn from them. If you want to change, you have to take the initiative and be good at changing your attitude and behavior.

If the situation is serious, you can absolutely consider seeking help from a psychological counselor!

From the questioner's description, it seems like you've got this! If you can overcome it on your own, then just follow the previous method and get started. Of course, you have to judge the severity of the situation yourself. If you feel that you really can't do it, then you can seek professional help to learn the relevant knowledge, or you can overcome it through psychological counseling.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner! Wishing them all the best!

Hello! Thank you for your question. It seems that you are experiencing some discomfort when talking to others, particularly when they look at you while you are speaking.

This could also be a manifestation of social phobia.

It might be helpful to consider that the fear of others looking at you when you speak could be a sign of your own inner lack of confidence. When others look at you when you speak, you might feel an internal sense of escape, a strong desire to avoid being looked at when you speak. It could be beneficial to learn to be aware of your inner thoughts and emotions and to face your inner thoughts squarely.

In your text, you mentioned that you feel somewhat unnatural when talking to someone one-on-one at work, especially when the other person looks at you for a long time (more than 20 seconds) while you're talking. You feel a bit awkward, you're not sure where to look, and your expression becomes somewhat unnatural. You'd really like to change the situation.

It is not uncommon to feel nervous and scared inside when someone is looking at you. The same can be said for when someone is looking at you while you are talking. This is often due to a habitual automatic response.

It is understandable that this avoidance-induced tension can feel particularly uncomfortable, particularly when talking to someone face-to-face. It is natural to feel nervous and fearful about the atmosphere, and it is only human to dislike this feeling. This can result in an instinctive desire to suppress your tension, which may in turn make you feel even more unnatural.

It would be beneficial to re-establish a new linked response in order to overcome this habitual response.

It would be beneficial to engage in constant self-training and improvement to achieve this process.

At such moments, when you look into someone's eyes and feel their gaze on you, your body and mind may experience an emotional reaction that feels somewhat unnatural.

At this point, you may start to blame yourself for this uncomfortable emotional reaction, feeling like you want to escape after just 20 seconds of eye contact. You might even suppress your emotions, saying things like, "My eyes are unnatural, my expression is unnatural," and wanting to change the situation. Instead, you could try learning to accept yourself instead of fighting against this feeling of tension when you make eye contact, trying to reject them and make the feeling disappear completely.

It would be beneficial to learn to recognize dissociation, normalize your gaze, and allow emotions that may be challenging to you to surface.

It would be beneficial to speak and look at each other without deliberately suppressing your eye expressions, etc. Similarly, when others look at you, it is important to accept any emotional reactions, including fear and tension, rather than avoiding them. It is also helpful to let the feeling of tension be singular.

Perhaps it would be helpful to define cognitive disassociation. It simply means that your emotions and nervous feelings are your own, and they are just a natural part of how you feel. The main thing is to accept the feeling of nervousness that occurs with this automatic reaction, rather than fighting against it and trying to eliminate it.

It would be helpful to focus your mental attention on what you are saying to the other person, rather than on your own nervous and unnatural expressions. It might be beneficial to try to eliminate your emotions, strengthen your emotional reactions, and feel your feelings, rather than trying to relieve them and escape from the feeling. Instead, it could be helpful to accept yourself, be kind to yourself, understand yourself, accept your emotions, and focus on what you should be doing, on the communication, rather than mentally focusing on resisting your emotions, controlling your emotions, controlling your expressions, etc.

It may be helpful to accept these feelings in order to gradually reduce the tension and unnaturalness you are experiencing.

I would like to suggest the book Jump Out of Your Head and Into Your Life as a helpful resource. It offers insights into how acceptance and commitment therapy can guide you in integrating more fully into real life and in learning to shift your focus from the mind to the present moment.

Additionally, books such as "The Power of the Present," "Cognition and Change," and "Overcoming Perfectionism" may also be beneficial in helping you understand yourself, regulate your thoughts, and manage your emotions.

I hope these answers are helpful for you.

Good morning, host.

I empathize with your confusion, so I'm sharing my "what to do" in the hope it might be helpful for the host.

Perhaps the solution is simply to "act," or more precisely, to "act in various ways," both inwardly and outwardly. This could mean taking your confusion and seeking the answers you need through various actions in the real or virtual world. It might involve self-awareness, reflection, and experience before, during, and after the action. It could mean trying actions outwardly and inwardly at the same time or in parallel, while reflecting and experiencing.

It could be said that doing things outwardly can sometimes trigger doing things inwardly.

The question posed by the original poster is actually based on outward "doing." You have tried to engage in conversation with the people around you, experienced the discomfort of "awkward conversation," and this triggered your inward "doing." You came to realize that giving up awkward conversation and being alone is not always a bad experience. However, you also experienced that just being alone is not always comfortable or carefree. This led you to the realization that you actually need company. You see, congratulations, you already have an answer: you have discovered your current needs.

You have already discovered your current needs, which is a great first step. The reason for congratulating yourself is that the answer to the question of what you really want is relatively clear, so of course the "what to do" becomes clear: go and try to find someone to keep you company!

It could be said that doing things inwardly can sometimes trigger doing things outwardly.

This inward "work"—thinking about your own experiences—will help you identify what you need. It will also provide the motivation you need to take action. You need someone to keep you company, so it would be beneficial to find someone to keep you company, unless someone keeps offering to keep you company, right?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider seeking out a solution.

It is important to remember that your own needs can only be met through your own efforts. While it is possible to be satisfied without trying and waiting, the probability of this occurring is relatively low. Even if you are attractive enough to attract others to keep you company, it is still necessary to let others know your charm first.

I believe that's why many people are eager to socialize (although there are, of course, many other reasons or benefits to socializing).

I understand that other people enjoy chatting together and there are likely many reasons why they connect. However, even if you feel a bit awkward at first, there are still benefits to participating in these chats. You may discover that you don't have much in common with the other participants, just as some of them will show that they are attractive to others, and enjoy happy chats in pairs. It's always worth giving it a try to see what happens.

I'm not suggesting that you're not attractive. It's just that you may not have had the chance to meet someone who is attractive to you and who you are attractive to in return. The topics of conversation are limited in different situations and for different people. Some topics that you are interested in and good at may not have been discussed yet, and you may not have had many opportunities to learn about these topics from other people. So it might be helpful to try to create opportunities for yourself and get involved.

I believe that individual differences are a wonderful thing, and that the definition of charm is as unique as the person experiencing it. These are the answers I can give you.

Wishing you the best. I love you all.

Perhaps it is due to shyness or a lack of confidence, which leads one to believe that others are observing one's actions. It is important to recognize that in life, one's self-perception of importance and the belief that others are constantly monitoring one's words and actions may not be accurate. It is possible that others are not paying attention to one's actions, and that one's perception of being watched is a result of one's own mental state.

It is advisable to maintain an upward gaze, exude confidence, and refrain from concerning oneself with the opinions of others.

Individuals possess disparate personalities. Some are direct, while others are reserved. While maintaining a low profile is prudent, being low-key, honest, or fulfilling one's obligations does not equate to timidity or weakness. It is acceptable to be honest and fulfill one's responsibilities, but it is essential to cultivate courage. If one is timid and lacks confidence in their actions, it is imperative to promptly assess and enhance these deficiencies.

One's sense of self-assurance is contingent upon the ongoing enhancement of one's abilities and qualities. When one possesses confidence, one is less likely to be a mere acquiescent. In essence, one's personal growth and development shape one's future potential. The notion of "high skill, high courage" encapsulates this fundamental truth. While external encouragement is beneficial, it is equally important to provide oneself with positive reinforcement. Some individuals begin their day by affirming their abilities in a self-assured manner.

This represents a form of self-motivation and self-suggestion that has the potential to yield highly positive outcomes.