How to let go of a ten-year-long aversion towards a person in the company?

My dear friend, I can feel your distress. It's so hard to face a sense of disgust that has persisted for ten years. This emotion not only affects your work, but also penetrates your personal life.

It's totally understandable, especially in a complex working environment like this. It can be really frustrating when you're working with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. It can make you feel helpless and desperate.

Our emotions are so complex! They can be triggered by a whole variety of factors, including a person's history, their current environment, and our cognitive patterns. "Emotional contagion" is the idea that a person's emotional state can affect those around them.

It's totally normal to feel a strong aversion towards someone. Their words and actions can easily trigger your negative emotions. This is just a natural part of human emotional interaction! Your aversion may be a deep psychological reaction, which may be related to your past experiences. Or it may be a way for you to protect yourself from harm.

But, you know, this constant negative emotion is really not good for your mental health or productivity.

The first step in dealing with this emotion is to try to understand the source of the feeling. Sometimes our disgust may stem from deep-seated conflicts of values, unresolved conflicts, or an overinterpretation of a certain behavior.

It's so helpful to explore the reasons behind this feeling. It really helps you understand yourself better! Try to understand the source of this feeling of disgust.

It can be really helpful to think about whether there's a particular event or behavior that tends to trigger this feeling. When we take the time to reflect on our own experiences, we can often identify the root cause of our aversion and find the best way to address it.

It's so important to set clear boundaries to keep your sense of self-dignity strong. When you're interacting with others, it's a great idea to clarify your own bottom line. This helps you to protect yourself from harm and also reduces any unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts.

As the wise ancients said, "A gentleman is harmonious but not conformist, while a scoundrel is conformist but not harmonious." While we should respect others, it's also important to stand firm in our own principles.

Furthermore, you can make a positive change in your mindset by trying to see other people in a new light. When you try to think from their perspective or look for the good in them, your mindset will also change.

This shift will not only help to reduce feelings of disgust, but it will also improve mutual understanding and respect.

Asking for help is a great way to deal with emotional problems. It's so helpful to share your feelings with friends or colleagues, who can support and understand you.

Sometimes, it's just so nice to be listened to and understood, isn't it?

In addition, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a great way to change negative thought patterns. You can try to record the specific situations when you interact with her, your automatic thoughts (i.e., those quick, often negative thoughts), and the emotions that these thoughts bring.

Then, try to think about these thoughts in a more positive way.

You've already taken the first step in seeking help, which is a great start! I truly believe that with a little bit of effort and the right support, you can find a balance in your relationships and achieve true peace of mind.

We all know that annoying colleagues are a fact of life at work. It's totally normal to dislike someone because of their behavior, speech, or personality. And it's true that this feeling of dislike can have a significant impact on your work state and efficiency.

It can be tough to change your own perception to reverse your dislike, and it's even harder to make the other person change for you. But there is another way of looking at it!

It's totally understandable that you don't like each other. After all, you have to work together, so it's really helpful to think about how you can develop a good working relationship with the person you don't get along with.

We can all make an effort to interact with others in a way that avoids direct conflict and makes our work environment more harmonious and positive.

First, it's important to remember to keep your personal emotions out of work and maintain an objective attitude. It's okay to feel things, but try to look at problems rationally and objectively, and don't let emotions cloud your judgment and decision-making.

This will help you avoid any friction or conflicts caused by personal emotions, making your work more efficient and smoother.

Secondly, it's really important to make sure you're working in the best way you can. Try to avoid interacting with colleagues you find annoying as much as you can. You can use various communication tools such as WeChat and QQ to replace face-to-face communication and reduce the chances of direct contact.

This will not only help to reduce any tension you might be feeling, but it will also help to improve your work efficiency, making the entire work process more relaxed and enjoyable for you!

Also, when chatting with those colleagues who drive you a little crazy, try to stick to the company's rules and regulations as much as you can. That way, you can avoid any unnecessary arguments and conflicts. Just focus on getting your work done and solving any problems as they come up. And don't worry about getting into negotiations with them.

We can make the work environment more harmonious and positive by reducing unnecessary communication. This can help to reduce the tense atmosphere at work and make things more harmonious.

We can also work on improving our relationship with our annoying colleague in a proactive way. For example, we can smile more often at work and make friendly expressions like that. We can also try to avoid conflicts and contradictions with him.

We can also reach out to him and chat to get a better understanding of his thoughts and needs. This will help us work together more effectively. When we're facing challenges, it's important to consider the other person's feelings and needs. We should try to be fair and equal, and avoid any prejudice or discrimination.

Finally, it's also important to learn how to let go of our emotions. It's not good to keep emotions bottled up inside for too long, as they can have a really negative effect on our mental and emotional wellbeing. There are lots of ways we can let our emotions out and keep our minds and hearts happy, like exercising, listening to music, watching movies, and so on.

If you still want to resolve the situation by getting rid of the aversion, I've got some suggestions that I think you'll find helpful.

Self-Reflection: First, take a moment to think about why you feel this way. It's totally normal to have different values, experiences, and conflicts in our minds.

Take a moment to think about why you feel so disgusted by her. It's okay if there are other factors at play.

It's always a good idea to keep an open mind and try to see the person from a different perspective. Even if you have a negative impression of her, it's worth trying to find her positive traits or merits.

You don't have to change your whole perspective, but it would be really helpful to try to understand why she acts the way she does and what challenges she's facing.

3. Emotion Management Techniques: It's so important to learn effective emotion management techniques to deal with the feelings of disgust triggered when interacting with this person. This can include deep breathing, meditation, exercise, or finding other ways of relaxation and emotional release that work for you.

I'm sure these techniques will help you stay calm and balanced when you're interacting with her.

4. Communication and conflict resolution: If you can, try to have open and honest communication with this person. It's so important to express your feelings and concerns, and to try to find a solution to the problem.

I really think this kind of communication could help improve your relationship and reduce your feelings of disgust towards her.

5. If you're still struggling or your disgust is affecting your work and life, it might be helpful to chat with a professional counselor. They can offer tailored guidance and support to help you navigate this challenging emotion.

Remember, everyone's situation is unique, so the above suggestions might not apply to everyone. Choose the method that suits you best based on your own specific situation and needs.

It's so important to try to maintain a positive attitude and mindset, focus on your own growth and development, and not let these negative emotions affect your overall sense of well-being and future prospects. You've got this!

In a nutshell, it's not possible to change how you feel about someone, but there are ways to make it easier to work with a colleague you don't particularly like. Try to think more positively and behave in a way that's less stressful for everyone. Look for ways to make the work environment more pleasant and healthy, and you'll probably find that you're more productive and satisfied with your job.

Good day. You have a profound disinclination towards a colleague with whom you work in close proximity, to the extent that it impairs your motivation. You seek to alter this state of affairs.

I would like to propose two potential avenues for improving the situation. One such avenue is the elimination or reduction of the negative emotional response, namely disgust, towards the colleague in question.

However, our perceptions of people and events often have complex psychological causes, some of which are based on fundamental values. While it is not easy to completely change our emotions and feelings, we can attempt to adjust the intensity.

An alternative approach is to learn to regulate one's emotions in a more constructive manner. This may entail moving away from the tendency to suppress or indulge in the destructive power of emotions, and instead allowing them to exist while releasing the pressure they cause and reducing their impact on work.

The regulation of aversion requires an understanding of the specific characteristics that elicit a negative response. It is essential to differentiate between aversion to "people" in general and aversion to particular traits. This distinction is crucial for determining the underlying reasons for the aversion. For instance, while many individuals may dislike individuals who exude strength, it is essential to ascertain whether this dislike is a direct result of the strength itself or a manifestation of other underlying factors.

It is not a prerequisite, but when the other person's strength elicits feelings of being attacked or belittled, it is not uncommon for a dislike to develop. The underlying emotion is anger, stemming from a perceived lack of respect. To identify the root cause of these strong emotions, it is helpful to list the aspects that evoke such feelings and determine what truly causes distress. This can then be transformed into a statement: "I dislike strong individuals because I feel attacked and belittled. I require the other person to treat me with equality and respect."

Subsequently, the need can be expressed at an opportune moment.

Furthermore, it is advisable to temporarily disengage from the relationship and adopt an observational stance. In general, when we possess a deeper understanding of another individual (not necessarily through direct inquiry, but through discernment of specific patterns), we tend to perceive that a significant proportion of their actions are not directed at us, but rather are shaped by their own intractable and unalterable concerns.

Concurrently, despite the unavoidability of the professional relationship with this colleague, it is possible to establish a boundary that aligns more closely with one's personal needs. One potential approach is to reduce superfluous contact and limit communication to matters pertaining solely to professional interactions and basic etiquette.

Furthermore, individuals may experience an improvement in their emotional state when they recognize that they possess a degree of agency with regard to their relationship with the other person.

In regard to one's emotions, it is advisable to allow them to exist without immediately questioning their cause or desiring their removal. Instead, it is more beneficial to acknowledge the emotions and then attempt to redirect them. For instance, one might recognize feelings of annoyance and anger in the moment but remind oneself that one is working for oneself, not for the other individual. This shift in perspective can help to alleviate the discomfort associated with these emotions.

The colleague in question represents merely one individual within the broader work environment. It may be beneficial to consider expanding one's social network and fostering connections with a more diverse range of individuals. Doing so can foster a sense of community and provide a broader support system, which may help to mitigate the influence of any single individual.

Hello, question asker. I'm Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu, your heart exploration coach.

Given that the questioner has hated someone for ten years, I can actually understand. There are always people in life that we don't like but can't just cut ties with, like a terrible family of origin or blood ties. Although we can't be isolated from the physical world, we may be able to separate on a psychological level.

The brave win when they meet in a narrow road. A good friend of mine once told me, "What does it matter if you don't get along with someone?"

Why should I be the first to leave? If it's her, she'd rather make the other person angry and stay put than quit herself. I admire her for thinking this way, but I also think there's some truth to it.

You'll meet all kinds of people at work. Some you'll like and become friends with, and some you won't like and will just be colleagues. But even colleagues can become strangers, doing business as usual, which might make the questioner feel less uncomfortable.

If you don't like someone at work and you can't get along, you still have to work with them. Even if you don't like the way they work, are their attitude and work results good enough for the job? Try to see it from the perspective of a bystander, and it may make the questioner feel less uncomfortable.

It's been 10 years, and the company hasn't managed to get the original poster to quit nor has it managed to get the other person to quit. This proves that either this person is quite capable or has good relationships. Even if you hate someone, there is still something to learn from them. The original poster might try to find the other person's good points, and you might get a different kind of result.

The questioner might be able to get a sense of how this person is with other people. Is everyone on the team annoyed by this person, or just the questioner?

If it's the former, it proves that the other person must be really valuable to the company, and the relationship wouldn't be severed even if it were that bad. If it's the latter, you might as well try to respect each other's communication styles. Everyone is an independent individual. I may not like it, but I respect your right to speak. This is also a kind of growth in thinking.

You don't look at the monk's face, you look at the Buddha's face. The questioner is willing to stay in this company for 10 years, and I believe that the company must have attracted the questioner's stability at some point. Is the questioner willing to try to accept the other person for the sake of the company and his or her career, and choose the lesser of two evils?

Changing how you see the other person can only be a good thing. If the questioner is happy with their job but not with the person, then try changing how you see the other person.

Ask yourself: Is the impact on your work and results worth the cost of punishing yourself for someone else's mistakes? How important does this person have to be for you to hurt yourself by punishing yourself for someone else's mistakes, which in turn affects your work and career?

Is it really worth the effort?

Do you think the other person is aware of your feelings? Have you tried to explain the situation?

A colleague of mine used to be very direct when communicating with me, which made me feel like he was always ordering me around. Later, I told him how I felt, and he apologized, saying that he didn't know he was giving me that kind of experience. The questioner might also try being open and honest.

I really like the name of a comic book: "I just like the way you can't stand me but can't get rid of me." It's been really helpful for me to read the name of this comic whenever I'm feeling unhappy, and I'd recommend it to anyone.

The questioner might also want to check out some psychology books, like "The Courage to Be Disliked," "A Thought Turn," and "Cognitive Awakening."

Wishing you the best!

Hello, I am a heart detective coach. I believe that life is a beautiful journey, and that it is important to appreciate and embrace the opportunities for growth and development that it offers.

If I had been so "missed" in real life for ten years, I would still feel quite a sense of accomplishment. Despite the fact that I was "disliked," it lasted for ten years, which at least shows that I still have a significant impact on this person's mind, regardless of whether it is positive or negative.

It also brings to mind Tang Shangjun, the "nail householder" of the college entrance examination, who has taken the exam 15 times. In an interview, he also expressed regret: "There is so much in life waiting for us to explore. Is it truly worthwhile to spend 15 years obsessing over getting into Tsinghua University?"

?1. Life lessons from a story

I recall hearing a story some time ago that went something like this: A young man fell while climbing a mountain, but was fortunate enough to be caught by a rope. He was reluctant to let go until late at night, and when he was found the next day, he had unfortunately frozen to the rope and stopped breathing.

It is unfortunate that he is less than a meter off the ground. The darkness has blinded his eyes, preventing him from seeing the hope at his feet, while his imagination conjures up a bottomless abyss and unattainable heights.

If he can remain calm and effectively judge his situation based on past experience, there is a chance that he may be able to save himself completely.

Dear colleague, I'm sure you've had experiences at work where someone has made you feel a certain way, perhaps even to the point of affecting your mood and work performance.

I can fully imagine how this person you dislike has potentially contributed to delays in your advancement, including being the first to advance and being an outstanding employee over the past 10 years. Additionally, it's possible that these circumstances have created obstacles to your learning, growth, and improvement.

She has also made it more challenging for you to experience happiness and joy on a daily basis. If we consider that 10 years is equal to 3,650 days, it's clear that she has had a significant impact on one-third of your working life.

If I may make a suggestion, dear, have you ever considered that this person, who is not your closest relative, has been treated in a way that is different from how your closest relatives have been treated?

If you don't walk away, she may continue to exert a strong influence over you for the rest of your life. Have you considered whether you'll have the time, energy, and mood to spend with your family and enjoy life?

I believe that the "I" is the root of everything.

If I might make a suggestion, I believe that changing pools won't solve the problem for someone who can't swim. Similarly, changing jobs won't solve the problem for someone who can't do a job. I think it's important to recognize that "I" is the root of everything. If you want to change everything,

Perhaps the first step would be to consider making some changes to yourself.

Perhaps it's not so much her actions that make you feel "disgusted," but rather your own beliefs and opinions about them. The ABC model of emotions suggests that it's not the event itself that triggers our emotions, but rather our interpretation of it.

To illustrate, let's consider a scenario where a mother is scolding her child for misbehaving. In the midst of this, she receives a call from her boss. She responds to the call with a composed demeanor, ends the call, and then continues to scold her child with a different expression.

This suggests that emotions can be managed, and that the child (or the child's misdeed) may not be the primary source of the mother's emotional response, but rather that she may benefit from learning to express her emotions more effectively.

Perhaps you can relate to this. It's possible that she triggers your disgust. It might be that it's her way of speaking or her style of doing things that you can't accept. Or perhaps you've learned from her and have suffered losses, been cheated, and paid tuition fees in the process of getting along with her.

Nevertheless, you have already invested a great deal in this relationship and have experienced many challenges along the way. Perhaps it is time to consider whether continuing to pay tuition to her is the best use of your resources.

It might be helpful to consider that changing your cognitive model could potentially lead to a change in your emotional experience and behavior. One approach could be to examine your thinking patterns. For instance, you might find it helpful to challenge the idea that you have a responsibility or obligation to educate her, or that you should constantly think about her, or that it is worth spending so much time and energy on her.

With this belief (cognition), you may wish to consider experiencing your emotions as relaxed and joyful, as if you had scored a great bargain, met an old friend after a long absence, or solved a problem that even the smartest students can't.

In terms of actions, you may find that you are more positive, confident, and happy every day, and that you are able to devote yourself to your work with full enthusiasm. When I was in sales, I would use a golden sentence whenever I encountered customer rejection: "The customer has wet the bed again."

"Growing Up for Life" offers guidance on developing a growth mindset and navigating limitations. "The Shift" provides insights into the multifaceted nature of truth, encouraging a perspective that goes beyond one's own. I respectfully suggest these resources for your consideration.

I hope these ideas are helpful to you, and I wish you well in all your endeavors.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to follow my personal page, "Heart Exploration Service."

I hope my response proves helpful to you.

I previously held negative feelings towards an individual for an extended period. Prior to studying psychology, I believed the issue resided solely with the other person and that it could only be resolved by removing them from my life. However, I later realised that despite reduced interaction, I still experienced strong emotional reactions and feelings of disgust when confronted with topics related to this person. This was a highly discomforting experience, and I empathise with your situation. How did I overcome this?

The objective is not to change her, but to learn to accept yourself completely.

I would like to offer you the following advice:

Individuals often reflect aspects of our own personalities and behaviors.

The book Accepting an Imperfect Self posits that true freedom is only attainable when one acknowledges and accepts all of their inherent qualities. If one deliberately avoids displaying a certain quality, it will have a significant impact on one's life, and the qualities one avoids and suppresses will be projected onto other people.

In other words, the traits you find unappealing in other people are, in fact, aspects of your own personality you are reluctant to acknowledge. When you encounter a person or individual you find particularly unappealing, it is essential to identify the similarities between them and yourself.

It is precisely because we do not accept these qualities of ourselves, these shadowy parts that we have repressed, that we project them onto other people.

To achieve greater comfort with oneself, it is essential to identify and accept the repressed negative qualities. When this is done, the next interaction with the individual in question will naturally be free of any feelings of disgust.

2. Identify your shortcomings and learn to accept yourself fully.

It is often the case that the traits we observe in others are a reflection of ourselves. By using others as a mirror, we can ascertain whether we are sufficiently accepting of ourselves. If we can acknowledge and accept these traits in ourselves, we can view others with a more natural and relaxed perspective.

How might one identify their shadow self?

Please list the specific qualities you dislike about her. These are the qualities you have identified as needing improvement.

For example, I found my friend's particular stinginess to be a source of discomfort. Upon further reflection, I realized that my own stinginess made me feel uneasy when I observed her acting stingy. Additionally, I was prone to reacting negatively when others labeled me as stingy. I realized that I was particularly sensitive to the trait of "stinginess" and that this was a shadow aspect of myself that I had not yet fully accepted.

I subsequently began to practice accepting my tendency to be stingy. I acknowledge that I also exhibit this tendency on occasion. For instance, I refrain from discarding leftovers, reuse plastic bags, and avoid spending money unwisely. Additionally, I frequently engage in self-acceptance exercises, reassuring myself that, despite my tendency to be stingy, I accept this aspect of myself. Following extensive practice, I have discovered that I am now less sensitive to others' perceptions of me as stingy. This is because I have already accepted myself and am no longer driven by the need for external validation.

Furthermore, I will no longer experience discomfort due to her frugality, as I can comprehend and accept my own nature, and consequently, her actions. Interacting with her will no longer be a source of disquiet.

I suggest you read "Accepting the Imperfect Self."

Please refer to the above for your information. Best regards,

Hello, I'd like to offer you my support in any way I can.

After taking some time to reflect on your question, I came to realize that ten years is a significant amount of time.

I believe the optimal time to plant a tree is ten years ago. Ten years is sufficient to raise a child to the fourth grade of primary school.

In the span of ten years, a great deal can change. Just look at the advancements in technology. Ten years ago, 4G networks were just being launched, and now 5G has been in use for several years.

It is also worth noting that in the span of ten years, one's circumstances can change significantly. For instance, someone may go from being a student to entering the workforce, or from being single to having a family of four. Some people may even experience the challenges of marriage and divorce multiple times.

Ten years can bring about significant changes. I'm curious to understand how you managed to maintain a negative sentiment towards a colleague for such a prolonged period while still maintaining a cordial relationship with her. In your question, you mentioned feelings of disgust, a lack of motivation to work, and a lack of optimism for the future.

I'm not sure if your position and salary have changed in the past 10 years.

I'm curious to know how you managed to put up with her for 10 years. Could you tell me what efforts you made during that time to deal with your relationship with this colleague? I'd also be interested to hear how you managed to convince yourself to work with someone who made you despair day after day.

I used to work for a company, and one day a colleague said, "So-and-so has a crush on you, so he asked me to ask you." I was taken aback by this revelation. I realized that I didn't even know that person, and I only knew that there was someone in that department with that name.

However, I was taken aback by the notion that someone might be paying attention to me without my knowledge, even if they meant no harm. Moreover, I was not in the right frame of mind to pursue a relationship. Consequently, I decided to tender my resignation and leave the company. I came to realise that while I could not change others, I could certainly change myself.

I'm not suggesting that you should quit your job simply because you don't get along with your colleagues. It's not easy to find a new job, and if you're a civil servant or work for a state-owned enterprise, it's probably not the best idea to leave your position for this reason.

It's possible that, from a psychological perspective, you may have benefited from the challenging aspects of your working environment. For instance, the stability of the job, the high income, or the potential losses if you were to leave may have led you to perceive the disadvantages as outweighed by the benefits, even though they do cause you some anxiety.

Perhaps you have considered the situation and decided to tolerate the colleague's behavior.

It seems that you have tolerated this situation for 10 years. Perhaps, if I may be so bold, you have developed deep feelings for this colleague, which is why you have been willing to spend 10 years tolerating the situation.

This is what psychoanalysis suggests: reverse formation, which means that the more you dislike something, the more you may actually like it.

It's also possible that you're projecting other emotions onto this colleague and seeing a relationship with someone else in your mind. Perhaps you feel hurt by this colleague, but your relationship with this other person is also quite complex. It might be helpful to consider that your feelings towards this person are similar to those you have towards your parents.

This is, of course, just theoretical speculation. You may find it helpful to talk to a counselor.

It is understandable that changing jobs after 10 years may not be a viable option for you. However, if you can gain insight into the underlying reasons behind the relationship, it might help you shift your perspective and potentially reduce your suffering.

As a counselor, I often find myself balancing Buddhist teachings with the challenges of depression. Despite these struggles, I try to maintain a positive outlook and a love for the world.

We will always meet people who make us unhappy. For you, this person is at work, and you've been unhappy with them for ten years.

Working with someone you dislike is hard.

You don't need to get rid of this feeling of disgust. We can't just make it go away.

We can learn to deal with these emotions and not let them affect our work and lives.

Second, look at this person differently. Understand her behavior and why it makes you feel this way.

Sometimes, when we learn more about someone, we realize they're not what we thought. This can help us control our emotions.

You also need to learn to separate your emotions from your work. Treat this person as an ordinary colleague and don't let your emotions affect your work.

If you can't do this, talk to your supervisor or HR about adjusting your work to avoid excessive contact with this person.

You should also take care of your emotions. Try relaxing with sports, meditation, or reading to reduce stress.

You can also talk to friends, family, or a counselor.

Changing your emotions and attitudes is not easy. It takes time and effort. But if you're willing to try, you'll find a way to deal with your emotions that suits you.

Be happy every day!

Hello, questioner! I am a Heart Detective coach. Don't be arrogant.

I read your post about problems at work. Do you dislike a colleague?

You've been feeling disgust for ten years. It's hard to let go. It makes you feel powerless and hopeless. You don't want to work. You feel like there's no future and nothing to look forward to.

You don't have to let your dislike of colleagues affect you. You will encounter people you don't like at work, but you are independent! Just do your job well and ignore the rest. If this affects your work, you need to adjust.

Let me help you sort things out.

1. Adjust your mindset.

People are different. If you don't like a colleague, don't blame them. Adjust your attitude, avoid arguments, and try to understand them. Everyone has different personalities. If you can't control your emotions, take a break or seek help.

2. Improve communication

Communication is key to solving problems. If you dislike a colleague, you can either ignore them or try to resolve the issue. Initiate communication, understand their thoughts and feelings, and try to find a solution. Let go of your own prejudices, respect their opinions, listen to their ideas, and offer suggestions. If you keep disliking each other, it will be tiring to get along.

3. Do your best at work.

The workplace is a professional environment. Don't let personal emotions affect work. Get along with a colleague you dislike by remaining professional, avoiding personal emotions, and refraining from criticism or negative comments. If you dislike or resent the other person, try not to interact with them much. If their behavior affects your work, reflect the situation to your supervisor. Be careful with your attitude and language so as not to affect the harmony of the team.

4. Get help from someone else.

If you can't handle your colleague, get help. If you're uncomfortable because of personality differences, distract yourself. If the other person is targeting you, report it. At the same time, get help from colleagues or other people. Otherwise, do you want to change jobs?

I hope this helps. If you want to talk more, you can find me on my personal website. Just click on the Heart Exploration service and send me a message. Love, [Name]

Hello, I'm Coach Yu from Xin Tan, and I'm really excited to discuss this topic with you!

Our inner world is like a stage, and we're the star! We're surrounded by other people and things that play supporting roles in our lives. Our emotions, desires, and logic are invested in these roles, making our lives a story!

When we encounter people and things in reality, we have the amazing opportunity to use internal scripts to interpret external relationships. And those people in reality who we care about will also be pulled onto the internal stage by us to "perform" our inner drama together. Therefore, how we view relationships is actually up to us, which is a wonderful thing!

As the original poster wrote, I have felt disgust towards a person at work for 10 years, and I'm excited to finally let it go!

Let's ask ourselves some questions! What happened between her and us in the past that we remember? What was the situation at the time? And what were our thoughts? What kind of emotions and feelings did it bring out in you?

We can also try to ask ourselves, what is it about myself that makes me angry no matter what she says? What is it about myself that causes a sense of powerlessness and sometimes despair after speaking with her? Let's find out!

We can also try something new! When we are together at work, let's ask each other how we really feel. What kind of relationship do I truly want in my heart?

We can absolutely try to reconcile with the feeling of disgust! When you notice the feeling of disgust, record what you are feeling at the moment. Your writing is only for yourself, so feel free to write about your feelings honestly and openly. This will help us understand the origin and impact of our emotions, and also help us clarify the root of the problem.

We can be open-minded, not deliberately avoid it, and not take a passive attitude. After all, we are colleagues at the company, and we see each other all the time. Try to communicate with her face-to-face, listen to what she thinks of yourself, and some of your thoughts on getting along and communicating with each other. This will not only allow us to release uncomfortable emotions, but also bring this matter to an end.

We can also seek help because if this matter bothers you, it is not easy to overcome it immediately. The good news is that there are plenty of people who can help! Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor, because emotions must be released to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

And there's more! We also need to care for ourselves, take care of our bodies, and take care of our feelings. Enrich your inner self, discover your unique value, and when your core is strong, the people around you will feel comfortable being with you and naturally become close to you.

I'm so excited to recommend this book: "Nonviolent Communication"!

Give yourself a hug first! It's time to face your long-term aversion to someone, especially in a work environment. This will undoubtedly impact your emotions, productivity, and overall sense of well-being.

Dealing with these emotions is about more than just improving your relationship with this person. It's also about your own mental health and career development. Here are some suggestions to help you start dealing with and ultimately let go of this aversion:

1. Explore your feelings. Identify the source of this aversion. Is it triggered by a specific action of this person?

Or is it related to your own values, expectations, or experiences? Be honest with yourself. Sometimes our strong reactions to others are actually a reflection of our own internal conflicts or unresolved issues.

2. Accept, don't resist. Accept your current emotional state. Don't suppress or deny your feelings. Embrace the fact that emotions, both positive and negative, are part of the human experience. Deal with them more objectively.

3. Seek professional help. Long-term negative emotions require professional intervention to resolve. A counselor can provide strategies and tools to help you understand your emotions, learn to respond in a healthier way, and ultimately find a way to let go of the feelings of disgust.

4. Practice empathy and forgiveness. See things from the other person's perspective and understand the context that may have motivated their behavior. Don't accept or agree with their actions, but do reduce your emotional burden.

Forgiveness is for you, not the other person.

5. Set healthy boundaries. Keep the lines of communication and cooperation open with this person at work while establishing clear boundaries to reduce unnecessary interactions. This will help reduce the chance of negative emotions.

6. Focus on personal growth and positive things. Turn your attention to personal growth and positive activities, such as learning new skills, cultivating interests, or strengthening relationships with other colleagues. This will improve your job satisfaction and reduce your focus on negative emotions.

7. Practice meditation and relaxation techniques. Meditation, deep breathing, and other relaxation techniques will help you manage stress and emotions and reduce your reaction to negative emotions.

You will succeed in changing long-standing emotional states if you are patient and take small, consistent steps forward.

This process will help you resolve the issue with this colleague and promote your personal growth and inner peace.