How to maintain a pure heart in a realistic society?

Hello, I hope my answer is helpful to you in some way.

Yes, people have a selfish side, but they also have an altruistic side. People are greedy and selfish, but they can also be selfless. Everyone is complex because the world is a big, diverse place. It's not all good, but it's not completely bad either. What we can control is limited. We can't control other people or the world. The only thing we can control is ourselves, our emotions, thoughts, and attention.

My advice to you is this:

Someone who can truly look up to the sun isn't a complete idealist. They're someone who can accept their own shadow side.

I used to be an idealist and thought I was a perfect being with no bad parts. I kept repressing my shadow sides, such as being jealous, petty, and short-tempered. But then I realized that the more we repress ourselves, the more internal conflict we have. It seems that all day long, we are fighting with ourselves, consumed by things we shouldn't be. This greatly affects our learning and work efficiency. And such a self often encounters obstacles in the real world, always longing for someone to accept and hold themselves, to understand them. Once they encounter someone who doesn't understand and accept them, they feel that the other person is very bad, and this affects their relationships.

I came across a book called "Accepting Imperfect Self." The cover had a famous quote by Carl Jung: "It is better to be a whole person than to be a perfect person. To be a perfect person is to be half a person; to be a whole person is to be a whole person." I realized that I've been unable to live a positive life precisely because I haven't accepted those shadowy parts of myself. I've always spent a lot of energy trying to cover up my imperfections. When I began to accept my imperfections and all my traits and be a real person, my inner being became more and more harmonious and free. When you can accept your shadowy parts, your inner being is harmonious. You won't expect others to accept you. With less internal conflict, we'll have more energy to create and become positive.

This is really a process of integration, and it might also be about achieving a state of yin-yang balance, as our traditional culture says.

2. We can't change other people, because that's their problem; we also can't change the big environment and the laws of the world's operation, because that's God's job. The only thing we can control is our own behavior.

You ask, "Why can't everyone be more self-aware? Why can't they become polite, unselfish, fair, and just, and care about others?"

It's tough to control other people because that's other people's business. A person's current state is shaped by a combination of their genes, education, upbringing, environment, and the era they grew up in. If they don't want to change, it's hard for others to do so. It's also challenging for us to change ourselves because our natural tendency is to resist change, and it takes motivation and time to make a shift.

The laws that govern everything in the world are much more powerful than anything we can do as humans. When we try to control the infinite with our limited power, it's frustrating and helpless.

As the book "A Change of Heart" says, there are only three things in the world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven. People get troubled because they don't control their own affairs, but they worry about other people's affairs and the affairs of heaven.

3. When you're facing the real world, give yourself a reasonable position, let go of what you cannot change, and change what you can. You'll feel much more relaxed and happier.

You say you feel like you're in a Nazi concentration camp, never knowing when you'll be killed, living every day in worry, always fearing the worst. The author of "Living a Meaningful Life" really did live in a Nazi concentration camp, but he didn't despair. In such an extreme situation, he still chose to be positive and chose his attitude. If you're interested, you can also read this book and learn about his story, which may give you some strength and inspiration.

Yes, you can always choose. When you're facing the real world, you need to take a realistic view of your position. See what you can change and what you can do, and what you can't change. Then choose to let go. This kind of wisdom will help you create your own value in the real world. You'll also gain a more relaxed and happier state of mind.

You can find more details here. Best regards,