How to maintain distance in social interactions to protect oneself?

Hello, my name is Susan, and I'm so happy to be here with you today!

It's so great that you can perceive and express your emotions!

Sometimes, though, we can get a bit mixed up. We might think we're feeling one way, but the other person's eyes, tone of voice, actions, attitude, etc. can make us think they see us differently. And then we start to feel like they see us a certain way, too. It's a bit of a loop, isn't it?

The staff member spoke harshly, either because she had encountered something unhappy that day, or because that was her usual way of speaking. The host can observe whether she is also harsh with others, and not blame or punish herself for the words of others.

It's totally normal to feel afraid when we're faced with something new or when we're unsure of how to handle a situation. Your emotions are sending you signals, and everyone reacts differently to fear.

Some folks will speak up to the staff, while others might feel scared or choose to ignore it. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things, and that's okay! It's not about you personally.

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably feel a little scared at first, but then I'd just buy what I need and leave. I know in my heart that the auntie is just being mean to me. This is her way of speaking and dealing with things, and I'm not going to change my original way of speaking and dealing with things just because of her.

The landlord should be able to distinguish between others and oneself, and not be easily influenced by others' emotions. If the staff is rude to you, you don't have to be rude to the auntie. Just go about your business as you were before, and don't force yourself to become someone else.

It's okay to accept your emotions and allow yourself to be vulnerable, fearful, weak, angry, and ashamed. This is the real you, and this is how you can talk to and reconcile with your innermost self.

Dear host, I can imagine you've been under a lot of pressure recently. It's totally normal to feel a range of emotions when we're facing challenges. I'm here to support you in releasing any suppressed emotions you might have. You deserve to feel at ease! I suggest you try relaxing a little more. You could listen to music, exercise, treat yourself to something delicious, get a good night's sleep, or try other ways to relax. I'm here for you if you need anything.

The contradictions and conflicts in life can make us feel confused and flustered, but they also allow us to reconcile with our emotions and see things differently through events and people. This time, you have become aware of your emotions, and then reconciled with them. You're doing great! Keep up the good work, but don't forget to allow yourself to have these emotions and states.

Have a wonderful day!

Dear questioner, I'm so happy you're here! I just want to say that I'm here for you. I'm here to answer any questions you may have. Please, ask me anything!

I can see how you're feeling. Sometimes words can hurt just as much as physical harm. It's clear you're sensitive and care about what others think. It's understandable you feel disrespected when others speak negatively about you. I'm here for you. The questioner was afraid of conflict and didn't want to upset the cafeteria aunt with their gaze. We can either ignore the gaze or respond to it. I don't think the questioner was being aggressive with you. It's understandable that emotions at work can bring out strong feelings. You can refuse to buy or give the other person a fierce glare, as well as ignore them. I think ignoring is the best thing to do. It's not worth ruining our mood for someone who isn't involved in our lives. So if it comes to expressing personal opinions, competing, or facing interests, the questioner may have some issues with self-esteem.

[1] We all know that feeling of fear when we think about the harm that conflict could do.

On top of that, they're really afraid of conflicts with others when expressing opinions and facing interests. They'll go to great lengths to avoid conflicts with others, even if it means sacrificing their own interests, giving up opportunities and time, and being overly accommodating. They also tend to refrain from expressing their opinions, which can make it difficult for them to maintain harmonious and consistent relationships with others. However, it's important to remember that everyone has a right to express their opinions and fight for their interests in a group. If you're consistently ignored, treated like a transparent person, or verbally attacked, it's time to speak up and advocate for yourself. Even if you're sometimes being exploited and try to have the slightest intention of fighting for your interests or expressing your opinions, you deserve to be heard and respected.

People who are afraid of conflict are essentially afraid of facing their own negative thoughts about themselves, as well as the negative thoughts of others about them. At the same time, they believe that it's important not to let others have a negative opinion of them and that it's not good to make others angry or disagree with them in social situations. If they make others feel uncomfortable or cause conflict, it's because they feel like they're not good enough.

[2] It's totally normal to be afraid of conflict with others! It often comes from how we interacted with our parents when we were kids.

It's totally normal to be afraid of conflict with others. We all want to avoid anything that might be a bit risky, right? But if we've learned from our parents that conflict is something to be avoided at all costs, it can become a real problem.

In the parent-child model of people who fear conflict in their childhood, parents may have absolute control over their children, requiring them to do what they want and not expressing different opinions. When children protest or do not comply with their parents' demands, they will encounter harsh rebukes or violent punishments. Over time, children will form the understanding that expressing different opinions is not allowed and it will lead to disastrous consequences. The parents' disciplinary actions directly cause children to associate expressing different opinions with emotional fear, so children will automatically learn the habit of not daring to express their opinions in the future, for fear that once they show such behavior, it will attract their parents' punishment.

It's also pretty common for kids who grow up in families with low self-esteem to be influenced by their parents' behavior and end up adopting the same patterns. They tend to take on their parents' negative self-esteem views and see conflict with others as a big risk. When it comes to relationships, they often prioritize maintaining harmony over expressing their opinions correctly and reasonably defending their rights and interests.

I'd love to offer you a bit of advice!

1. Learn to face conflict and adjust your state of mind. It's okay to want good things, but don't let others take your power away. Competition isn't a bad thing, and you can handle it.

Don't think of competition as a very unfair way of doing things. It's an opportunity you can seize! You should have the mindset that you want it, so you have to work hard to get it, fight for your legitimate rights and interests, and tell yourself that it belongs to you and is legitimate. You can do it!

2. Learn to face reality. We all know that when many people are in competition, they are afraid that they will not be able to win. It's only natural! But when this happens, it's important to remember that there's no need to make excuses to avoid the situation. We've all been there! Sometimes we say things like, "I don't need it," or "It's not interesting." But these are just ways of avoiding the reality of the situation, of avoiding the actual problem. We don't want to face the fierce competition, and that's okay! But the first thing we should do is face reality and see that competition is actually real. A life of struggle is a life of competition, and we can all get through it together!

3. Learn to sort yourself out, and you'll also learn to sort out others and the outside world. All avoidance is avoidance of oneself, and all uncertainty is uncertainty about oneself. The more you can calmly express your own dissenting opinions, the more you'll be respected and adopted, and the less conflict you'll cause.

4. You can also take martial arts or combat classes to build your confidence and inner strength. This will help you face challenges with more courage and resilience. If you're not into that, you can always go for a nice jog to release your stress and anxiety.

I really hope these tips help you out!