How to reconcile with one's own character and accept oneself calmly

Hello, dear question asker!

We all go through similar things as we grow and learn, don't we?

I really hope you can accept yourself, sweetheart. I'd be absolutely delighted to go over it with you, and I really hope it gives you a little inspiration.

1. We all know people in different ways.

You say, "I used to be super-super introverted, didn't like to talk, but something happened in high school that forced me to become lively and cheerful." It's totally normal to feel nervous when there are a lot of people together!

That's just because people are different!

We all have different preferences when it comes to social situations. Some of us love being in the thick of things, while others feel most comfortable on their own.

There's no such thing as a good or bad personality, my friend.

It's just that some folks tend to overstate the advantages of an extroverted personality.

In real life, when it comes to relationships with other people, extroverts who like to express themselves are more likely to fit in with the group and make friends more easily.

But that doesn't mean being introverted is bad, sweetheart.

It's so interesting how our personalities are shaped! It's a combination of 80% genes and 20% experience.

We're all different, and that's a wonderful thing!

So, if you want to get to know your own amazing personality better, it's a great idea to start by understanding the different ways people can be. For instance, introverts are often more thoughtful and independent.

And remember, your personality is not set in stone.

We can also act very differently in front of different people, and that's okay!

So, there's absolutely no reason for us to feel that our personality is bad.

2. Learn to love yourself, just as you are!

Acceptance is a process of gradual change, my friend.

We can learn to accept ourselves just as we can learn to accept the current state of things. For example, I don't accept myself, but I'm learning to accept that.

This is also a process of acceptance, my friend.

It's okay to accept what you think is bad, like feeling nervous or scared in a crowd.

It might be helpful to try to find out why you have these emotions.

It's totally normal to be afraid of negative comments from others. We've all been there!

Or maybe you feel a little isolated from them and worried that they might hurt you?

It's worth asking ourselves: apart from keeping their distance from you, are they really not hurting you?

Let's explore this a little bit together.

Some of these things we make up ourselves, and they're not true.

It's probably just our own subjective feelings, brought on by fear or a constant feeling of being separated.

If you feel a bit uncomfortable, why not try shifting your attention from yourself to your classmates?

It's totally normal to feel a bit nervous when we're focusing on how we look to others. It's only natural!

You can tell yourself, "I'm not the center of attention, and not that many people are paying attention to me," and you may feel a little more relaxed.

All we have to do is give it a little try!

When we accept that we'll be nervous or flustered, we can focus on developing the part of ourselves that we want. For example, we can slowly stay within the group, even if we don't speak, without feeling uncomfortable.

The good news is that the key may be as simple as letting go of all those negative thoughts we have about ourselves.

We all have our limits. It's okay to not be able to do something.

It's totally normal to feel less confident in social situations and to be afraid of being hurt.

It's not about comparing yourself to others and feeling like you have to be able to do something just because someone else can.

3. Try to nurture that little child within you!

I'd highly, highly recommend the book Parenting Your Inner Child to you.

We all need to live our true, authentic selves!

Instead of pushing yourself too hard, try to be kinder to yourself.

It's so important to learn to know ourselves and affirm ourselves, rather than criticizing ourselves.

It's so important to see the child within ourselves and slowly give the inner child a sense of security and worth. This can really help to solve many problems.

Please, just share these ideas!

Warmest regards!

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your recent query. Kind regards, [Name]

Your question pertains to the reconciliation of your character and the acceptance of yourself with an open mind. Would you kindly clarify whether I should understand it as accepting yourself?

Originally, the super-introverted personality, as a result of an incident that occurred during his high school years, felt compelled to adopt a more lively and cheerful demeanor. In your narrative, you have used the term "forced," which suggests that this transformation was not a natural evolution but rather a conscious decision.

I am unaware of the specific factors that have prompted you to consider a change in your introverted personality.

It is a common misconception that extroverts are more attractive and capable than introverts. In fact, both personality types have their own strengths and weaknesses.

I suggest you read and study the following texts: "Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence," "High Sensitivity is a Gift," and "The Advantages of Introversion."

Personality

Freud posited that the human personality is comprised of three parts: the id, the superego, and the ego.

The id represents the primitive processes of thought that influence our minds. These processes are the most primitive part of the human being and are responsible for satisfying instinctual impulses.

Your original introverted personality can be understood as a manifestation of the "id."

The superego is the controlling element within the personality structure. It is governed by the principle of perfection and forms part of the moral aspect of the personality structure. It is located at the top of the structure and represents the moralized self, which has been internalized from social norms, ethics, and values. Its formation is the result of socialization. The superego follows moral principles and has three functions: first, it suppresses the impulses of the id; second, it monitors the ego; and third, it pursues the realm of perfection.

In Freud's theory, the superego represents the internalization of the father figure and cultural norms. Due to conflicts with the object, the superego tends to oppose the primitive desires of the id and is aggressive towards the ego.

Due to certain external factors, your beliefs have been influenced, leading you to believe that an extroverted personality will facilitate better adaptation to societal norms. Consequently, you are demanding change from yourself.

The ego, the psychological component of the personality, gradually differentiates from the id and is located in the middle layer of the personality structure. Its primary function is to mediate the conflict between the id and the superego. It regulates the id on one hand and is subject to the superego on the other.

The ego follows the principle of reality and satisfies the demands of the ego in a reasonable way. The ego regulates itself and its environment.

In summary, the ego represents the emergence and development of self-awareness.

After implementing changes, you recognize the need to address the resulting challenges independently. This prompts you to actively seek assistance, demonstrating effective ego regulation.

The superego can assist in more accurately assessing situations and in achieving objectives. However, if it is excessively demanding, it may conflict with the id.

There is no objective right or wrong in the needs of the ego. They are intrinsic to our identity and require recognition and attention.

Self-awareness is a critical skill for navigating present circumstances and becoming more effective in our personal and professional lives.

It is important to accept yourself.

Accepting oneself entails recognizing and affirming one's own needs and requirements, as well as those that exceed one's expectations. It involves accepting the existence of these needs and requirements and recognizing their legitimacy. To effect positive and effective changes, it is essential to achieve a balance in this regard.

If possible, I would recommend professional psychological counseling or reading relevant books to learn and become aware. If conditions are limited, these options may not be available. In the meantime, meditation is an effective method for self-awareness.

As you can see from the description behind you, it is important to have friends and to establish better interpersonal relationships. Both extroverts and introverts can have good interpersonal relationships.

It is important to recognize that different methods may be more effective for different individuals. Identifying the method that aligns with your personal style is crucial for success.

I would like to share with you a key insight from the book Awareness Awakening: "The physical characteristics of introverts determine that they are better at dealing with things than with people."

While introverted individuals may not excel in social situations, they often possess remarkable creative abilities. After reading this, I no longer feel anxious or self-deprecating about my lack of social connections outside of work. I recognize that I have strengths beyond my social skills.

I have therefore decided to pursue my goals in a consistent and methodical manner. Once I have reached a sufficient level of proficiency, I anticipate that I will naturally be able to connect and interact with more people. This process may be analogous to the idea expressed in the saying "If you bloom, the breeze will come."

I am a highly analytical thinker with a deep appreciation for the world around me. Thank you for taking the time to read this message.

Hello, question asker!

I totally get where you're coming from! It's clear that the questioner is an introverted, sensitive, and troubled person who doesn't feel worthy of themselves. So, let's dive in and see how we can reconcile with our own character!

▪ Embrace your unique self and celebrate your imperfections!

Embrace your strengths and weaknesses, and don't be afraid to celebrate your past! For instance, recognize that you were once super introverted, not very talkative, and didn't put pressure on yourself to change overnight. Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't feel guilty, disgust, or hatred.

Embrace your strengths and weaknesses, and don't be afraid to celebrate your past. Celebrate the fact that you were super introverted before, not very talkative, and not putting too much pressure on yourself to change all at once. And don't be too hard on yourself. There's no need for excessive self-blame, guilt, or disgust. And don't force yourself to change. Just let it be.

Most importantly, you have to allow yourself to be imperfect. You have to admit from the bottom of your heart that you really are just the way you are, not so good and not so perfect. But at the same time, you have to believe that you are also capable of changing the status quo and doing better. You have to believe that you will slowly become stronger. And you have to embrace this change as a natural response to the situation.

Most importantly, you have to give yourself permission to be imperfect. It's okay to be you! You are not so good and not so perfect, but you are capable of change. Believe in yourself and your ability to become stronger. This change is not forced, it is a natural response to the situation.

It's so important to recognize that everyone is different!

Everyone's past experiences and living environments are different, which also creates the differences between each person. Everyone has their own unique way of thinking and doing things, which is great because it means there is no need to set what is right, what is wrong, what is good, and what is bad (for example, the questioner believes that being outgoing is good).

Everyone's past experiences and living environments are different, which also creates the differences between each person. Everyone has their own unique way of thinking and doing things, which is great because it means there is no need to set what is right, what is wrong, what is good and what is bad (for example, the questioner believes that extroversion is good and introversion is bad). Even when faced with the same thing, different people will have different opinions, which is a wonderful thing!

Being introverted or extroverted is just a tendency. It's totally normal to be a bit more introverted one day and a bit more extroverted the next! Some people can even switch between the two states at will, and can say different things to different types of friends and do different things.

As long as you treat people sincerely, you will make the best friends—even friends of different types!

▪ Don't sweat the small stuff!

Absolutely!

As long as you have a clear conscience, it's totally fine! As mentioned earlier, everyone is different, so there's no need to pay particular attention to the opinions of others. Even if you do your best, there will still be people who have a different opinion — and that's okay!

If someone really does say something, then let them talk and watch! It doesn't matter. Of course, if a lot of people are saying the same thing about you, then you might need to reflect on whether you've done something wrong. But don't worry! You can easily bounce back from this.

If someone really does say something, just let them talk and watch them go! It's totally fine. Of course, if a lot of people are saying the same thing about you, you might want to reflect on whether there's something you could have done differently.

Let's talk about deliberate practice!

Let's talk about deliberate practice!

Absolutely!

You can do it! Make small changes, replace negative suggestions with positive ones, and think more positively about everything. Start with a change in attitude.

You can do it! Try making small changes, replacing negative suggestions with positive ones, and thinking more positively about everything. Start by changing your mindset!

And then, you can change your behavior! For example, when you notice those sensitive, vulnerable emotions, take a deep breath first. After repeated practice, you will gradually improve your "immunity" and slowly realize that you don't care as much about those trivial things.

Then change your behavior! For example, when you notice those sensitive, vulnerable emotions, take a deep breath first. With repeated practice, you will gradually improve your "immunity" and slowly realize that you don't care as much about those trivial matters.

Absolutely! You can also try to cultivate more hobbies, participate in more activities, and focus your attention on the things you like. This will help you not to have the energy to be sensitive.

Regarding "When a lot of people get together, I feel my eyes darting around, my body tense, not knowing where to look or what to do,"

You can do it!

You can choose to chat with friends nearby or just play with your phone. If you really don't have anything to do, you can simply go blank by yourself. In fact, few people will care about your "strange" behavior, so just show your true self! Be bold and confident!

Regarding "Seeing the group of men gathering together to smoke and play games, I actually felt not disgust, but instinctive fear and dread,"

I'm excited to help you with this!

It would be great if the questioner could clarify what exactly they are afraid of! Has a similar scene happened before?

I'm excited to hear more about what you were doing at the time and what the others were up to! Once we know what we're truly afraid of, we can start to find solutions.

I really hope my answer is helpful to the original poster! Best regards!

I really hope my answer will be helpful to the original poster! Best regards!

First, it's important to change your thinking. Introversion isn't about denying yourself. It's about understanding that there are different ways of being in the world. Read more books, look up information, and see what it means to be introverted. You'll see that it has its own set of advantages and disadvantages.

So don't worry, introversion is definitely not a bad thing! It's not good to completely reject and label yourself. Please stop being too hard on yourself, and try to see yourself as someone else would.

You'll feel so much better!

Introverts are people who are introverted in character. They're generally more reserved, conservative, or prone to deep thought. They're not easily swayed to make decisions or act, and they're less likely to act impulsively. This makes them more likely to observe the truth about others than others can notice, which is a hidden skill.

This is not something you can just suddenly see in yourself. It takes time to figure it out! Be patient with yourself and take it one step at a time. You'll get there! It's important to remember that you shouldn't force yourself to become someone you're not. Take a moment to think...

Second, be true to yourself. It's so important to try to understand more about who you really are. This process will take a lifetime, and that's okay! The self you see now is only a self at a certain stage, not the whole self. Everything is changing and improving, so you should also view yourself reasonably and objectively.

It's okay to make mistakes in the past, but let's not repeat them! We can all learn from our mistakes, and we can all become truly outstanding. Being true to yourself is a very difficult thing to do. It's not simply a matter of following your own wishes and accomplishing the task. This process is like a cicada escaping from its shell. It is a lifelong metamorphosis of character, a process that happens naturally, evolving little by little. You cannot rush it, and there is no hurry. You need to take your time.

It takes courage and wisdom to be true to yourself, and it's a great idea to study psychology, which is a wonderful way to take a good, honest look at yourself.

Third, it's important to understand that introverts like to be alone. So, if you choose to become someone else, you might have to say goodbye to some friends and classmates.

You have to try to become more like them, and be prepared to compromise a little to blend in with them. Or you can be brave and live your own life, doing what you like, which takes a lot of courage.

I've been there, and I know it's tough. It's really not easy, and it's really lonely, but you can do it! You can walk out of the foggy forest and see the sunshine again. You can truly reconcile with yourself and accept yourself. When you're rich within, you won't feel so many bad emotions when you look at your classmates. You've got to make a sacrificial choice, find yourself first, and live out your self-worth and positioning. When your life has meaning, other things will also seem very agreeable.

So, you need courage and wisdom. This process can be really tough, and you'll face lots of emotional and psychological challenges along the way. Just remember, don't get stuck in a rut! If you have a question, don't hesitate to ask. There are so many amazing teachers out there who are always happy to help. And every time you successfully solve a doubt in your mind, you'll make a little progress.

You've got this! The more you change, the better you get. I'm cheering you on! Come on, you can do it!

I am deeply touched by your situation. It is extremely challenging and frustrating to feel like you cannot be yourself when you want to, for a long time. It can even make you hate yourself, as you said. I admire your resilience in enduring this period of darkness.

I'll give you a hug from afar. I want you to know that the original you is still there. You are good, you are trustworthy, and your friends cherish you.

There is no such thing as a good or bad personality. I don't know what happened to you in high school that made you force yourself to be outgoing, but I suspect it gave you the wrong impression that extroverted children are more popular and receive more attention from the outside world. In reality, that is not the case.

You can make more friends and gain more happiness.

I don't know which aspect of yourself makes you want to change, but you can recall the impact that event had on you and determine where this contradiction with your original intentions began.

Everyone is unique. It doesn't matter if you're "extroverted" or "introverted," you're still unique. History and our surroundings are full of examples of amazing people who aren't particularly "extroverted" but are still respected, liked, and noticed.

In any organization, different types of work require different personalities. Making friends is a matter of fate and shared interests. You get along with each other comfortably and warmly, whether you are playing and making noise or quietly alone, and there is a feeling of mutual appreciation.

If you want to accept yourself, you must first start by loving yourself. Your love can embrace your own strengths and also accept your own shortcomings. It seems that you are currently forcing yourself, and you do not seem to recognize the "introverted" self. You have very high expectations of yourself, which is causing a strong conflict between your superego and your ego. This has led to your current problem of confusing self-identity, as well as interpersonal anxiety or disorders.

Here's a tip: Take a blank piece of paper and, when you're being yourself and not hiding behind a mask, list all your good qualities in a serious and detailed way. You'll see how much good influence your "introverted" personality has had.

Now, take out another piece of paper and list how much bad influence your "introverted" nature has had.

2. Take your time to find your rhythm in the classroom. Whether it's noisy or quiet, you can choose to relax. You can stop talking, take a moment to relax, and ignore the stares of others. You can read a book, listen to music, daydream, or just take your time to adapt to that environment and accept yourself in it.

3. There are many clubs and associations at university, so find the one that suits you and make friends with like-minded people. This will take your mind off things and help you to gradually become fulfilled again.

It's a challenging process, but you're constantly developing as an individual. You can keep learning, communicating, and broadening your perspectives and knowledge to become stronger. Over time, you'll understand and accept yourself better. I want you to know that you're excellent. Believe in yourself.

Find yourself and love yourself. Enjoy your time at university.

You've got this!

Dear questioner, Thanks for the question.

You feel like there's still a lot about yourself to discover, don't you?

1. Personality:

There's no such thing as a good or bad personality. Why did some people think that being introverted was bad for so long?

This is not just a subjective view of these people, but also partly due to their cognitive limitations and the fact that some of them have misinterpreted Jungian psychology's interpretation of introverted personality.

As a matter of fact, no psychologist has ever thought that being introverted was a bad thing. Some psychologists even believe that introverts and extroverts are two different but equally valuable types of personality, with their own advantages and disadvantages in society.

Wu Zhihong once said, "Introversion is a protection for introverts, and extroversion is a reward for extroverts."

This means that introversion and extroversion are valuable and meaningful aspects of personality, and they result from human growth and evolution.

2. About forcing yourself to be outgoing.

Regarding the part of your question where you mention that you went against your nature and forced yourself to be outgoing during that period,

You're right about your feelings, so it's important to respect them. The tough time you went through was because you didn't accept your uniqueness and denied your true self.

You're different from others. No one in this world is exactly the same as anyone else, and no two leaves are exactly the same.

It's possible to be similar, but you can't be exactly the same.

It seems like you're afraid of being different from others, and you're also a sensitive person, right?

Being sensitive is a double-edged sword. Used well, it can be your talent and advantage. Used poorly, it can hurt you. It seems like you're in the latter category. From what you've said, it seems like you don't fully understand yourself yet. There are still a lot of unclear parts.

What if people don't like your personality?

What will this mean for your life?

What are the potential consequences?

Once you get a clearer answer, you might be more willing to be true to yourself and embrace your true self. You'll know better how to treat your character and bring your strengths into play, and you won't attack the parts of yourself that you can't do.

3. About feeling emotions like fear and terror.

These emotions are really important to us. So, we really need to think deeply about what beliefs, thoughts, perceptions, experiences, etc. are influencing our current situation.

Next time you're feeling afraid or scared, you could try staying with those feelings for a while to see what happens.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. Have a great day!

Dear Sir/Madam, Although your message is brief, I can discern feelings of confusion and a lack of self-identity.

I would like to present you with a quote that I have found particularly insightful. It has helped me to accept myself, both the good and the bad, and to understand that all of these aspects make up my character. I hope that it will also provide you with the strength to get to know yourself again, to love yourself again, and to start again.

"I allow."

Bert Hellinger

I am open to any eventuality.

I permit circumstances to commence, evolve, and conclude as they may. I am aware that

Everything occurs as it should, as everything is predestined.

If I believe there is another possibility, I am only causing myself harm. The only viable course of action is to allow.

I permit others to be themselves.

I accept that he will have this opinion of me, that he will judge me and treat me in this way. I am aware that this is the case.

This is his natural disposition, and he is justified in it.

If I believe that he should be different, I am only hurting myself. The only thing I can do is to allow it.

I permit myself to entertain these thoughts. I allow each thought to arise, exist, and then dissipate. I am aware that

It is important to understand that thoughts themselves are meaningless and have no bearing on one's reality. They will come and go as they please. If one feels that they should not have such thoughts, it is likely that they are causing more harm than good.

The most effective course of action is to allow.

I permit myself to experience these emotions. I allow each emotion to occur, evolve, and dissipate. I am aware that

Emotions are merely physical sensations, neither inherently positive nor negative. Resisting them only serves to intensify their impact.

If I believe that I should not experience these emotions, I am only causing myself harm. The only course of action is to allow them to be present.

I permit myself to be who I am.

I permit myself to express myself as I am. I permit the manner in which I express myself to be just as it is. Because I am aware that

The external appearance is merely an accumulation of ego. The true self is imbued with wisdom.

If I believe it should be different, if I make a judgment, I am only causing myself harm. The only action I can take is to allow.

I am aware of the situation.

I have come to gain experience of life in the present moment. In every moment of the present, I must allow, experience and enjoy fully.

It is simply a matter of seeing the situation as it is.

Allow the situation to unfold as it may, without intervention.

Hello, my child. I hope my answer helps.

Hug: I'm an introvert who doesn't like to talk. I understand how you feel. Our society likes lively children, but when I was a child, my teachers said I should be more lively.

I used to pretend to be lively too, but it was tiring. I came to accept my character more and like myself more after studying psychology.

It wasn't easy, but I learned that being myself is the best.

My advice is:

1. Being introverted is not bad. We should use our personality to our advantage.

Personality psychology says that whether you're introverted or extroverted is innate and difficult to change. There are four typical types, which are manifested as follows:

Choleric: Can tolerate strong stimuli, can work for long periods of time without fatigue, appears energetic, outgoing, straightforward, and enthusiastic.

Sanguine: Energetic, active, quick to respond, outgoing, sociable, not shy, and open to new things. However, easily distracted, fickle in interests, and emotionally unstable.

Phlegmatic people are calm, introverted, and good at concentrating. They are stable and good at following rules. However, they can be slow to speak and not good at conversation.

Depressive temperament: suspicious, introverted, sensitive, witty, and unhappy. Loves to be alone, doesn't like to socialize, and is slow and careful.

The list shows typical temperament types. Most of us are intermediate or mixed types. We shouldn't take it personally. We should start from reality and use temperament types to understand ourselves.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. There's no such thing as a good or bad temperament type.

Just as we may envy extroverts for their many friends and sociability, we may also envy cholerics for being calm and peaceful.

So, don't change your personality. Instead, understand yourself, focus on your strengths, and avoid doing things you're bad at.

Like you, I didn't have many friends at university. I felt nervous and flustered in crowds because I'm introverted. Socializing is tiring, but alone time is restorative.

I would spend time alone, like in a library or classroom reading. This gave me energy for social situations.

2. How can I make my life more fulfilling?

You have two friends now, but you don't feel as fulfilled as before. Is it because you can't communicate with them? You say there's something between you. What is it?

Tell your friends how you feel and what you need. This will help your relationship.

I still keep in touch with my high school friends. We chat on the weekends about school life.

Having two good friends is good because you don't have to tell your feelings to too many people. If you want a fuller life, join clubs you like and make friends with like-minded people.

I joined the student newspaper at our university because I liked writing. I spent time with friends from the newspaper, going on interviews, writing articles, and exchanging experiences. This made my university life more fulfilling and interesting because we liked writing and had common interests.

You might as well see if you can find a club at school that suits you. You can spend time with like-minded friends and gain knowledge and experience.

3. Do some exercises to help you accept yourself.

The book Life Reconstruction has a great exercise on self-acceptance that you can do often.

Look in a mirror, whisper your name, and say, "I like you and accept you just the way you are."

This is hard for many people. When doing this exercise, some people cry, some get angry, some are unhappy with their appearance, and others say they can't do it.

If you can keep doing this exercise, you will accept yourself more and more. And when you accept yourself, your whole world will become brighter.

Accept yourself and use your strengths to make the most of your value. Find friends who like the same things you do and do them with them!

Good luck!

Hello! The first step to a beautiful reconciliation with yourself is to stop forcing yourself to become so-called extroverted and accept your own state with an open mind.

If you think that social phobia can really be turned into social courage through forced training, then the behaviorist grandfather Watson might jump out of his coffin with joy and say, "More than half a century has passed, and I still have fans!"

I totally get where you're coming from with wanting to change your introversion. But here's the thing: true reconciliation isn't about forcing yourself to change. It's about facing and accepting your personality with an open mind. We all have different personalities, and forcing yourself to change won't get you the results you're looking for.

Introversion and extroversion are just different forms of energy, and there is no real difference between them. Introverts are more thoughtful, and they tend to be relatively rigorous in the way they look at problems and approach tasks. And guess what? Introversion does not affect work! In fact, many marketing experts are introverts. If you don't believe me, you can read about them in the relevant articles.

The key to a happy, healthy relationship with yourself is unconditional acceptance! It's not about understanding yourself in the same way as others, but about embracing your unique qualities and being comfortable with who you are.

If you're still struggling to reconcile with yourself, I highly recommend reading books on developmental and personality psychology. They'll help you explore and understand yourself in a whole new way! I'm confident these two books will give you a fresh perspective and new insights.

Hello, host.

You are who you are. You were a super introvert growing up, and that's okay. Introverts and extroverts are different, but neither is inherently good or bad.

You are not sad because you are introverted. You are sad because you have no friends since you started university.

You haven't explained why you particularly dislike yourself. You mentioned the term "accepting yourself."

There are many explanations for this, such as acceptance and surrender. But you should know that if you can be open and honest, rather than forced, you won't dislike yourself.

We must discuss this: behind the rejection, there should still be a dislike of oneself.

There are many reasons for not liking oneself. One example is the theory of the original family, which suggests that a lack of recognition and affirmation from a young age makes it difficult to like oneself.

And in terms of object relations theory, it's likely that you didn't find a good object in your upbringing; you found a fake one instead.

Let's be real: not many people really like themselves. We study psychology, and in essence, we are all dissatisfied with ourselves and want to become a better version of ourselves.

My advice to you is this: it's still a bit difficult.

Be aware of who is speaking behind your hatred of yourself and what your fear of male classmates has triggered in your memory.

If you're in a situation that's causing you pain, I advise you to seek counseling. It's a safer and more effective way to rebuild a secure attachment relationship and strengthen your self-esteem.

The questioner's description:

I'm very introverted, but I try to be lively and cheerful.

Go against your nature.

I have two friends in college, but I feel there's something between us.

I feel flustered, tense, and lost when there are a lot of people around.

I feel fear and dread when I see groups of guys hanging out, smoking and playing video games.

A word to the questioner

I empathize with the original poster. I'm an introvert, but I'm probably more extroverted.

I used to dislike my own personality too. I saw other people having fun together, and I felt lonely. The feeling of loneliness will often stay with you.

You want to be like extroverts, but you isolate yourself. This is why you feel like there is something keeping you apart.

If you force yourself to do something, you'll dislike it more. You're afraid of people who smoke, play mahjong, or gather together.

Pushing away the part of yourself that you dislike will only make you feel worse.

Introverted personalities are not bad. We think more deeply, which helps us develop our own brilliance. Accepting our personalities and learning to get along with ourselves is important.

Find your strengths and be happy.

Hello question asker, I'm happy to answer your question.

I'll give you a hug and praise your courage. It's hard to become extroverted.

If we say that different temperament types are innate and unchangeable, then personality is like the parts that grow on top of them. If they are nourished properly, they will grow well; if they are starved of nutrients, they will not.

There is no good or bad personality type. All personalities have advantages. Many people don't know what their advantages are.

##Personality##

Psychology says that personality is how a person acts and thinks. It is usually stable, but can change in response to major changes in the person's life or after a major event, such as brain damage.

As the questioner said, an experience in high school made you want to change your "introverted" nature. You were afraid that you were different from the people around you. I suspect that it must have had a big impact on you.

Extroversion and introversion

Most people think extroverts are better than introverts because they misunderstand introversion and extroversion. Introverts focus on their thoughts and ideas and direct their energy inward.

Carl Jung first proposed the terms "introvert" and "extrovert." Introverts focus their energy on their inner world. They are interested in their spiritual side and prefer to think in silence. They may have few friends but are loyal to them.

The questioner said, "At parties, I don't know where to look and I feel nervous."

Introverts have a higher level of internal activity, so any stimuli entering the brain causes a rapid increase in tension, making them feel "too stimulated."

Introverts generate their own energy. They use up their energy in gatherings, chatting, and doing things together. They can only regain it when they are alone.

You don't have to try to be someone you're not. That just uses up mental energy. We're not perfect, but we're all unique.

##Reconciliation##

☞1. Accept yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses, and learn to accept your flaws. For example: "I only have one or two friends, but they are very close. They can make me feel supported."

☞2. Make a list. On one side, write the good things introversion has brought you. On the other, write the bad things.

Then turn it over and write: For successful experiences, what 5 things can you do to show your appreciation and love for yourself? For failed experiences, what 5 things can you do to show your comfort and encouragement for yourself?

☞3. If you need help finding your way or focus, you can seek help from a counselor.

These are just my opinions, and I hope they help and inspire you.

Hello there!

The best time in life is the present! We often forget this because of confusion and low self-esteem, but it's so important to remember. Reconciliation with oneself is like a balance between the past and the future. Even the briefest of moments can create the most beautiful painting!

It's so important to remember that there's no such thing as a good or bad personality. What matters is how it affects your life.

Personality is divided according to psychological activity tendencies, into extroverts and introverts. In life, extroverts are more enthusiastic about interpersonal activities, have skilled communication skills, and are enthusiastic, so they usually give people the impression of being positive and sunny. They're also more popular! Introverts, on the other hand, lose their initiative and give people the impression of being reserved and isolated, and have indifferent interpersonal relationships. But there's no need to worry if you're an introvert! There's no good or bad in personality itself. What matters is whether our personality affects our normal lives.

For example, introverted personalities can also be divided into different levels. For very introverted people, their sensitivity will also increase due to the reason of deeper self-segregation. This can be a bit tough! However, relatively extroverted introverts of a general level will be able to establish their own interpersonal communication network through self-verification in interpersonal relationships, and gradually build up their inner self-confidence. On the contrary, very introverted people will unintentionally establish more distant interpersonal relationships due to their higher sensitivity, inadvertently giving people the impression of rejecting them from afar. This can be a bit frustrating for people who intend to interact with them, as they often feel like they haven't received the emotional care and trust they're looking for.

If you could rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you do it? This will help you understand your personality better and see where you can make some changes.

How can we help you reconcile with yourself?

We all have to reconcile with ourselves throughout our lives, and this is because we're born with an imperfect perspective. So, here are a few suggestions from my perspective on how you can adjust your personality:

1. Accept your wonderful, natural personality and love yourself just as you are!

As we said before, there's no such thing as a good or bad personality. There's only room for improvement! Let's say, for example, that a girl is not a very talkative person. That's okay! We can understand and respect her for who she is. But if her lack of talking is so severe that normal communication is impossible, it will cause problems and great obstacles to her intimate relationships. She needs to be aware of the seriousness of the problem and give the other party in the communication conscious care and active communication to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary trouble caused by poor communication.

It's so important to accept yourself, especially when you're trying to understand yourself better. It can be really helpful to accept yourself as you are, so you don't have any inner conflict.

2. It's so important to recognize your emotions and identify your true needs.

When people gather together, I feel a bit flustered, my body a little tense. I'm not sure where to look or what to do. When I see groups of men gathering together to smoke and play games, I actually feel a little fear and dread, but it's not disgust.

It's totally normal to feel anxious for no reason. It's only when we feel concerned or threatened that our emotions start to arise. I totally get it! These feelings are real, but when you really pay attention to yourself and perceive the source of your anxiety, you'll see that it's not actually a threat. It's just your inner concerns making you feel more anxious. By perceiving your emotions, you can consciously adjust your perceptions, learn to relax, and see how things will change and how you'll feel.

3. Embrace life with an open mind!

Life is full of so many wonderful things, like joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness. It's important to embrace all of these with an open mind. We can't control everything that happens, but we can take responsibility for our emotions and words. It's okay to admit that life is imperfect. In the process of trying to overcome difficulties, we can discover our own shortcomings, improve ourselves, and grow. When things pass like the clouds and the wind, we can discover the perfection under the imperfection. We might feel obsessed or unable to let go sometimes, but that's okay! We just need to understand ourselves better and have a broader understanding of life.

You've got this!

Thank you for your question. I tend to learn best by doing.

First, let's try to understand your situation better. You say you are an introvert.

Perhaps you're interested in becoming more outgoing. It seems like you're hoping to integrate more into society.

It's natural to want to fit in. It's understandable to be afraid of being lonely and excluded from the group.

You desire to cultivate your own social circle while also pursuing specific objectives.

However, achieving results can sometimes be challenging when working alone. Having the support of others can be beneficial in such cases.

If I might suggest, becoming extroverted would be going against your nature as an introvert.

It is a challenging process that can be painful at times. It's important to remember that there is no inherent good or bad in a person's temperament type. Everyone has unique advantages and characteristics.

If you are an introvert, you may find it helpful to embrace your natural tendencies. Some people will appreciate your personality and temperament, and you may find that they are willing to associate with you.

I would gently encourage you to remember not to go against your nature. I believe we should adapt to our nature, follow our nature, and allow our nature to play a role.

Secondly, you are an introvert. Therefore, when you follow your own character to deal with people and handle interpersonal relationships,

If you go against your nature and do things or interact with people, you may feel uncomfortable, even painful.

This can make you feel rather uncomfortable, even painful. It would be greatly beneficial for you to respect your own nature.

You interact with people in a way that aligns with your own character. At the same time, you say:

When you were at university, you observed groups of boys engaging in behaviors that you found disagreeable. You even felt a sense of unease.

Indeed, some college students may not fully understand the importance of self-restraint or the role of moral sentiment in their lives.

They tend to live according to their own egos, which may not always align with the expectations of their super-ego.

It would seem that they simply live their lives as they see fit, without fully understanding the importance of restraint or the value of moral principles or school rules.

I wonder if this might also be against your nature, which could result in feelings of rejection, isolation, and even fear.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to live your life according to your own desires.

It is not necessary to integrate into such a group or socialize with people you don't like. This can be exhausting and not beneficial, and it can even sap your energy.

During your time at university, you might consider attending lectures and using the library.

You may find it beneficial to visit these civilized places, where you can meet other students who share similar values.

You might consider talking to your favorite teachers, participating in school activities or competitions, or getting in touch with those outstanding students.

I believe it will make your university life more rewarding and fulfilling. It might be helpful to remember to associate with good students.

Rather than conforming to a group that may not align with your values just to please others, I believe you have the ability to choose your friends wisely.

It would be beneficial to make friends with those who go to the classroom to study on their own and the library often. If you don't like what you see, you might want to consider ignoring it.

We can simply be polite and courteous, attentive and respectful, and maintain our distance. We do not intend to offend them, and we do not allow them to influence us.

If I might make one more suggestion, you can learn to read and think.

I believe that interacting with good classmates can be more relaxed and more rewarding. Is that what the saying is?

It can be challenging to find common ground with a gentleman, but it's often much more straightforward to collaborate with others.

It is relatively simple to please those who are not particularly virtuous. One need only offer them a small token of appreciation.

However, working with them can be particularly challenging. It's important to consider with whom you want to associate and what kind of people you want to please.

It is important to remember that you must please yourself first and foremost. You can only make others comfortable if you are comfortable yourself.

It is not always your fault if you feel like you don't quite fit in with a certain group. It may simply be that your values are different.

It may be best to look for a group with values and outlooks that align more closely with your own, rather than forcing yourself to fit in with a group that may not be the best fit.

If I may, I would like to share a few thoughts with you. As you embark on your university journey, it is important to remember that learning is an ongoing process.

It is important to remember that one's associations can influence one's beliefs and values. Not everyone is worth associating with.

I am sure that there will be people who will contribute to your personal growth and progress, and who will make your time together enjoyable. I wish you a fulfilling and rewarding time at university.

Hello, question asker!

From your description, it's clear that you have issues with your introverted personality. Why? When did you first feel this way?

What happened then? I tried to change it (in high school, I forced myself to be lively and cheerful), but after doing so, I hated myself very much during that period of time. I can feel your inner conflict and helplessness at that time (at this moment, we can hug the old self and tell it that it is not your problem). You decided to change it for a reason. What was it?

"When people get together, I feel uneasy, my body is tense, I don't know where to look or what to do." What were your feelings at the time? Were you nervous in a crowd or anxious about not being able to connect with your classmates?

Think back to how you felt at the time. What came to mind? Do you feel the same way in other similar situations?

"When I saw a group of men hanging out together, smoking cigarettes and playing video games, I felt not disgust, but instinctive fear and dread." You need to explore this further. What is the source of this instinctive fear and dread? Is it just about the current situation?

Or did you think of something else?

There is no such thing as a good or bad personality.

From a psychological perspective, there is no such thing as a good or bad personality. Every personality has both strengths and weaknesses.

Extroverts can make friends easily, which is an advantage of their personality. However, they also find it difficult to calm down and complete tasks that require a high degree of precision and concentration, such as puzzles and writing.

☘️Let's get one thing straight: there's no such thing as good or bad when it comes to introversion and extroversion. Introverts like to be alone and quiet, and they tend to have stable personalities, make decisions, and have high IQs. Extroverts are more lively and have high emotional intelligence. There's no such thing as good or bad.

Reconcile with yourself.

First of all, reconciliation does not mean consciously trying to defeat that part of yourself (the introverted you). True reconciliation is an acceptance and understanding (acceptance and understanding of the introverted you) that comes from knowing the truth about life and from loving yourself.

We can only change ourselves if we accept ourselves.

There are three ways to do this.

Don't attack yourself.

As you grow in life, you must learn not to attack yourself. If you do, you will be unable to reconcile with your inner self.

If we do not accept and recognize ourselves, we will not see ourselves as unique. The essence of life is not repetition; it is uniqueness.

You must learn to reconcile with yourself by gaining a deeper understanding of your life.

To learn to reconcile, you must accept. To accept, you must understand. Understand deeply, and you can step out of your current situation and embrace your new world with ease.

Trust yourself.

Reconciliation with oneself is a process of reuniting with oneself. If a person lacks a connection with their own self, they will live in constant self-denial of the past.

Respect the facts.

If you want to reconcile with yourself, you must learn to respect the facts. What is a fact?

A true fact is an indisputable observation of what occurred in the past.

You have to accept yourself if you want to change yourself. You will reconcile with yourself soon.