I always feel like someone is criticizing me. I don't know if I have depression and social anxiety.

Hello. I can relate to your situation. Many people who have experienced poverty feel a sense of shame and inferiority. In fact, some studies have shown that this mentality can contribute to success.

You are one of them, and you are admirable.

When you are in a challenging situation, you may find yourself thinking about change and striving for success. This can be a powerful driving force in your journey towards achieving your goals.

You mentioned that when you were younger, your family was financially challenged and unable to afford university tuition. It was through the support of your relatives that you were able to pursue your studies. Despite the challenges, you remained resilient and your education proved to be a pivotal turning point in your life. I believe that those who provided you with financial assistance also had a keen insight into your potential. They recognized your dedication and foresaw your success. If anyone ever made any disparaging remarks, it would be unfortunate if they were unaware of the positive impact their actions could have.

When you return to your hometown, consider expressing your gratitude to those who have supported you. You may wish to use the success you have achieved to show your appreciation for the kindness of your family and friends.

You mentioned that when you returned to your hometown, you often felt as though you were being subjected to negative comments and judgments. This has led to feelings of discomfort and apprehension when interacting with your relatives and visiting them. You also expressed a fear of being judged. As a result, you tend to stay at home whenever you go back and avoid going out. It's understandable to feel hurt and betrayed by such actions. However, it's crucial to understand the underlying reasons for these behaviors. Could it be that your actions or lack thereof in reciprocating their kindness have led to this response?

Or might there be some hesitation on your part about seeing them?

It might be said that folks are simple and honest. They may hope that you will succeed and that you will remember their kindness, friendship, and assistance. Sometimes a visit, a greeting of gratitude, or even just telling them that you have a life and work of your own thanks to their help, might make them very happy.

The people in your hometown may not have much cultural insight, and communication may be a bit difficult. However, sincerity is the key to fostering positive interpersonal relationships. Your sincere gratitude will definitely change the interpersonal environment and atmosphere. There is no need to avoid it. You have the ability to change the current situation. Just walk up to them with a grateful heart.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider a more open approach.

Hello, question asker! I'm listening, Master Ally!

I just wanted to say that I admire you so much for going to university through your own efforts despite the difficult economic conditions! I can imagine that you had to work much harder and under more pressure than others to achieve this success. Well done!

Some folks are lucky enough to be born in Rome. They don't have to work hard for the best resources or money. They have enough to eat and wear, and their future is unlimited!

Some folks are just scraping by, and they often have to rely on others to get things done. It can feel like society is really unfair sometimes.

For those of us from the countryside, studying hard and getting into college is the only way to get out of the countryside and live a better life than our parents. I'm so happy for you! You got into college and can finally surpass your parents and live a better life.

I just want to say a big congratulations to you!

It's totally normal to feel like someone is criticizing you when you get home. It's not always easy to tell if you're experiencing depression or anxiety.

From what you've told me, it's not clear if you're experiencing depression or anxiety.

The three most typical symptoms of depression are: 1. Low mood: This is when you feel like you just don't care about anything at all.

You might feel like there's no point in doing anything, like housework or even communicating with others. It can be hard to feel happy about anything. You might also find it difficult to concentrate, with memory loss, low energy, and negative thoughts. You might feel tired all the time, lack motivation, or even have panic attacks. You might also feel nauseous, have trouble sleeping, or experience other physical symptoms like these for more than three months.

Anxiety disorder can make you feel so many different ways. You might feel nervous, anxious, or even panicked. You might also feel short of breath or dizzy. You might even feel tired, on edge, or suspicious. Your heart might beat fast, and you might have trouble breathing.

Let's take a closer look at why you feel this way. It's totally normal to feel a bit guilty when you're on the receiving end of charity. We all feel like we're not good enough sometimes! I believe that some relatives might stand on the moral high ground and judge you, which can make you feel pretty small and powerless. This feeling can even affect your whole life.

So, how can we get rid of this feeling of shame and help you to grow stronger little by little?

Hello question asker!

You seem to care about these things, which makes you feel uncomfortable. Is that right?

I can see you're sensitive, but you're also aware of your feelings and face them. Talking is a way to release emotions and grow.

You said that when you were a child, you had to raise money from relatives to go to school. Then someone started to gossip about you. When you go home, you think about the gossip, which makes you feel uncomfortable. Is that right?

Then I want you to think about how you feel. Is this just a fact?

What did you feel when you stayed home?

I understand. I would be embarrassed too. Perhaps we are sensitive with high self-esteem, but this feeling affects our lives. Then we need to adjust our mentality and face it bravely. Those who come here looking for answers are wise and have expectations. So as long as you don't give up, you will find a way of life that makes you feel relaxed and at ease.

If a miracle happened, and you were able to go home and face those relatives, what would be different? What did you do to make it happen?

After the miracle, will you be different? Who will notice?

Everyone has problems. It's okay to have problems. The important thing is to know you have problems and to do something about them.

From what you said and how I feel, I have a few small suggestions to help you.

First, change your mindset.

It's easy to say, "adjust your mindset," but it's hard to do when we're in the thick of it. It's easy to talk about, but hard to do. Understand that this feeling is making you uncomfortable. Try to adjust your mindset or go out and not care about what other people think. We can't stop them from saying whatever they want. Adjust your mindset about the things you're sensitive about, like feeling unconfident. Only then will you feel at ease.

Second, distract yourself.

When we're in an uncomfortable situation, it's because we care and don't want others to say this. We think about it, even if we don't realize it. Others say it, but they don't always remember. Our memory keeps us focused on what others say, but we should focus on doing our own thing. This helps us become balanced and stronger. We won't be troubled or led by the outside world.

Go out and see things for yourself.

Your feelings are part of human nature. People have problems, and we can't avoid them. Even if we stay home, we still hear words that attack our hearts. Why don't we try going out and taking a look? They definitely won't say it to your face. You'll find your own breakthrough by trying and exercising.

Learn to release negative emotions.

It's normal to have different emotions. Just as we can't be happy all the time, we can't be sad all the time either. When we have problems, we can help ourselves by exercising. This releases happy hormones that help us relax. If you want to try it, you can!

There's a saying: "There's no one else out there but ourselves. All our relationships are with ourselves." When we're afraid of what others say, it's because we're not satisfied with ourselves. So, the attitude of others is given by us. Be brave. Go out and walk with your head held high. Look at the sky. When you really don't care what others think, you'll feel that your life is really cool!

You can do it. It will take time, so don't worry. Take things one step at a time.

Hello! You completed your education with the financial support of your relatives because your family was poor.

But this matter was once gossiped about by relatives, and even now you always feel like the target of their comments. You don't even want to meet people because of this, and you really have it hard!

You must find the shadow in your heart.

You grew up in a poor family with no money for education. This made you feel inferior. You feel you can't hold your head up high because of your poverty. You believe other people look down on you because of your poverty.

Your relatives raised money to help you complete your studies, yet they gossiped about you behind your back. You already feel pressure from the debt you owe them and the money you owe them, and their gossip adds to the old feelings of inferiority.

This heavy psychological burden has always been weighing on your mind. You have become extremely sensitive and always feel that someone is saying bad things about you.

This is a normal reaction. When our hearts are focused on one thing, it affects us more. We see it everywhere.

Look at your own thoughts.

Ask yourself: What do you think about poverty? Do you think poverty is shameful?

The old Chinese saying goes, "Don't bully a young person because they are poor." It's simple logic. If you bully someone because they were poor when they were young, you're likely to offend someone who will be able to hurt you.

This old saying contains a simple truth: things are not set in stone, and poverty can be changed. Poverty is only a state at a certain stage, and it does not accompany a person throughout their life like qualities and talents.

Mocking others because they are poor only shows how shallow you are. There are many shallow people in the world, and their views can really hurt, but you must ask yourself: are you willing to agree with them?

Make a change.

It's tough when you're in your current situation, with relatives who are criticizing you while you're in debt to them. I understand how you feel, but you need to make some changes and take control of your life.

You need to clear your mind and accept yourself. You got into university, which shows you can change your destiny.

You will secure your future for yourself with your own efforts and the knowledge you have gained. So even if you are poor now, that is only a temporary state. Build confidence in your future and yourself.

Second, focus on meaningful things. Gossip and small talk are part of some people's daily lives, but they are not for you.

Their criticism is meaningless. It cannot change your life. What you need to focus on is what will impact your future.

Read more books to broaden your horizons, learn a new skill to increase your value, and even exercise to lay a foundation for future hard work. These are all worthwhile investments of your time and energy. When you focus on these things, the influence of other people's discussions is less significant.

If you find the people and environment in your hometown unbearable, you can simply choose to spend as little time there as possible. Vacation time is precious, so use this time to recharge your batteries instead of wasting it on a place you don't like.

If you have the conditions, go home less or not at all. When you get home, avoid the idle people and do your own thing. When you actively choose to stay away, your mood will be different.

My name is Teng Ying, and I am a psychological counselor. I am confident that these tips will be helpful.

Good morning, my name is Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who employs imagery in my practice.

The individual in question indicated that they experience discomfort when others speak negatively about them in their hometown. This has led to a reluctance to leave their residence when they return.

I would like to inquire as to whether you are genuinely concerned about the rumours that are being circulated about you. Could you please elaborate on how these rumours are affecting you?

When you are not in your hometown, does their gossip still affect you? If not, what factors contribute to your ability to disregard it?

It is important to remember that the financial circumstances of your family during your formative years are not your responsibility. Similarly, the decision to borrow money from relatives to finance your college education was a personal choice.

If you do, you will remain immature.

You have taken the initiative to improve your circumstances by relocating. This is a commendable decision. I have no doubt that you possess the knowledge and abilities to succeed.

Furthermore, how has the aforementioned gossip from your relatives affected your self-confidence, leading you to believe that you are obliged to concur with their views?

It is evident that there are underlying reasons for the criticism directed towards you. However, you have allowed this to affect your confidence. To overcome this, you need to confront the issue head-on.

Confronting them does not necessarily entail engaging in a verbal altercation. Instead, it entails adopting a confident posture and moving forward with purpose, regardless of the obstacles presented by those idle words. The body language we display can significantly influence our mental state. By walking with determination, we can effectively deflect the impact of those words.

Our attitude towards idle words is the key factor in determining their impact on us. While we cannot control the words of others, we can influence our own response to them. When we change our attitude, our emotions will naturally adjust and improve.

You are the best judge of your own capabilities. Reflect on instances where you have demonstrated strength and resilience, and recognize that you possess admirable qualities.

Should these past self-affirmations prove insufficient to provide the necessary courage to face their gossip, we would be happy to explore this further through psychological counseling. This will enable us to gain a deeper understanding of your situation and provide you with the support you require.

Best regards,

Hello, question asker! I am an old skinny donkey.

It is a simple fact that people who do not have abundant living conditions will be more sensitive. Even if they are successful and outstanding, there will still be a sensitive factor in their bones. In particular, the spirit is nourished by poverty.

I don't know what type of personality the OP has, but I know I'm sensitive.

I used to feel the same way as you do, and I thought everyone was hostile towards me. In fact, if you gather the courage to ask the people you are discussing with, you will see that we often amplify and exaggerate our feelings, and that perhaps other people simply don't have time to pay attention to you.

People like the OP are more likely to become good role models for parenting in the village. It is a source of pride when a village produces a university graduate.

It's unclear whether the questioner heard the relatives gossiping or if they heard it from someone else. If it was someone else, the information may have been distorted in the process of transmission. The questioner should be careful in their judgment.

If you heard it with your own ears, then you absolutely do not need to take it personally. You can't have your grapes, so you won't let others be sour?

You can see what their children are doing.

The reason the questioner mentioned for feeling uncomfortable is that they feel others are saying bad things about them. This is a subjective and unconfirmed feeling. The questioner should try the following:

1. Eliminate negative psychological suggestions. There's a simple truth: if you say you can do it, you can. If you say you can't, you probably can't. Conversely, if you say you can't, you might be able to, but you won't.

Applying this to the feelings of the original poster, it is likely that I feel that other people are saying bad things about me, when in fact I am the one being said bad things about. From another perspective, perhaps other people are praising you for being someone else's child.

2. Don't suppress your emotions. Let them out. Talk to someone. Get direct confirmation. Let your suspicions fall to the ground. Ask in person.

3. Reduce your sensitivity. I like the line from "Heavenly Sword and Dragon Sabre" about the Jiuyang Divine Skill: "He may be strong, but the wind blows him away; he may be domineering, but the moonlight shines on him. As long as you have a strong heart, you won't take other people's praise or abuse to heart.

4. Know the difference between being an introvert, being afraid of embarrassing yourself by saying the wrong thing to the wrong person, being embarrassed and being teased, or really not wanting to go out because of the gossip. I'm an introvert. I don't know the names of my elders and I don't know how to address them when I see them on the street, so I'm embarrassed.

Best wishes!