I always think that if I fall in love, I will be dumped. Am I really unloved?

Hello, question asker. I see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you!

It seems like you're facing some family issues right now. I'm here to give you a warm hug if you need it.

It's possible that your concerns about being dumped in a relationship are related to your family of origin.

From the time you were a year old until now in your 20s, your parents often had disagreements and even got into fights.

Every time you go home on vacation, there are fights in the family, mostly at night. It's pretty chaotic.

So, it's possible that from a young age, you've had the idea that marriage is the end of love.

If this is the case, it would be a good idea to seek the help of a professional counselor.

A counselor can help you get a better understanding of love and marriage.

Given that your current issue stems from your original family, I'd suggest reaching out to a professional counselor rather than an instant listener.

Now that you've identified the issue, you can start working on a solution.

Often, being aware of yourself is the first step to healing.

At the very least, you know that the way your parents get along makes you feel pretty uncomfortable. That means you'll probably try to avoid making the same mistakes and repeating what they did in their marriage.

I really hope you can resolve the issue you're facing soon.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I'm here to help, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and wish you the best!

Hello!

Let me give you a hug. You've had a hard time growing up.

You say you're always worried about being cheated on and abandoned. You've never been in a relationship, but you're always tense or afraid about intimacy. Perhaps this is related to your past. You say, "In our family, from when I was a year old to now in my 20s, my parents often fought. Every time I went home for the holidays, there would be a fight. Then my father would often rush us out in the middle of the night, so I didn't feel safe."

Your father was violent, hot-tempered, irresponsible, and abusive to your mother. All these years of trauma have made you afraid to try intimacy.

Crying is because those wounds have not healed. They are wounds that are constantly being torn open. I feel for what you are going through, but you can give it to yourself. You have to learn to save and grow yourself.

Your mother protected you as best she could. You should have had a sibling to go through this with.

If you must say one, two, or three things, consider the following:

1. Stay calm.

Grief and hatred are the first reactions to the harm caused by parents and the original family. If we understand why our parents are the way they are and what kind of upbringing they had, it may help us cope.

2. Get help.

If those around you don't understand or recognize the "injuries caused by the original family," find comfort in friends or a professional psychologist. It's better to seek help than give in to a depressed family.

Sometimes courage can help us get out of a low.

3. Open your heart and let go.

The biggest problem we face from our original family may be feeling bad about ourselves, thinking we're not good enough, or feeling like we don't deserve love. You have the power to make your own choices. Love yourself, accept yourself, and be happy with who you are.

Let go of your problems and your obsession.

Best wishes!