I always worry about making mistakes and am particularly anxious when interacting with others. What should I do?

Hello.

I recently supported an online visitor from a highly scrutinized family of origin who had always been a good boy. I am confident that my views and understanding of your predicament will be helpful.

One of the most important tasks in growing up is to find yourself. You have to figure out who you are.

A person's self-awareness develops in several stages: infancy, toddlerhood, childhood, adolescence, the rebellious period, youth, and middle age.

Self-awareness is a person's knowledge and evaluation of themselves, including their psychological tendencies, personality traits, and psychological processes. It is precisely because people have self-awareness that they can control and regulate their thoughts and actions, and develop a complete personality.

Self-awareness is crucial for personal development.

People who are "good babies" have likely had their sense of self stifled from infancy onwards due to the high level of attention they received. As adults, they will undoubtedly experience anxiety, nervousness, indecision, oppression, self-criticism, and anger in their relationships. This is a direct result of the conflict between the desire for self-awareness and the internal conflict caused by being denied, suppressed, and required to be submissive since childhood.

You develop yourself as an adult by taking the initiative.

First, take the initiative and make a breakthrough with small things. For example, when hanging out with a good friend, tell them you want to go somewhere or eat at a restaurant you want to go to.

You can also say "no" when someone asks you to do something you don't want to do.

Second, do the things you've always wanted to do but never got around to.

Third, accept your feelings. You are angry right now.

Then find a place to express it to the person who made you upset.

You can talk to a wall or look at your partner's photo, say whatever you want, let off steam, and express yourself authentically.

There are many other ways to slowly find yourself. If you want to keep exploring with me, click to follow me.

You will find yourself, but it will take time. The road is long.

I hope you are well. I love you, my dear, and so does the world.

"I was raised in an environment where expectations were high, and I was frequently subjected to criticism and reprimand. I was driven to be a model child because I was motivated to perform well.

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1. It is possible that your parents were particularly strict with you during your formative years, establishing a multitude of rules and expectations for you to adhere to in order to become a model child. Consequently, you may have attempted to emulate the person your parents wanted you to be, even if it did not align with your personal preferences.

However, it is difficult to resist such demands, given that one's parents are ultimately responsible for one's wellbeing. Children who have internalised these expectations often grow up to become exemplary individuals, yet they frequently lack the capacity for self-improvement.

Concurrently, it is imperative not to allow oneself to err, and to be unafraid to acknowledge such instances when they do occur. The process of identifying one's shortcomings and implementing corrective measures is an essential aspect of becoming a commendable child.

It is inevitable that one will make mistakes in life.

2. Perpetuating the notion of oneself as perfect and striving assiduously to align with one's parents' expectations will inevitably result in heightened psychological pressure and a consequent inability to meet these expectations, leading to feelings of disappointment. During periods of stress, anxiety is likely to manifest, and performance may suffer, leading to further self-blame.

It is therefore necessary to adjust one's mentality. While one's parents' requests are to be respected, it is important to develop one's own opinions, choices, and ideas, and to communicate with one's parents in an active and open manner. If everything is for one's own good, it can be assumed that no parent wishes for their child to suffer or be unhappy.

In conclusion, as long as one does not contravene one's parents' wishes, one is at liberty to pursue one's own desires and preferences.

3. You are preoccupied with the opinions of others, as you value their feedback highly. This leads to a tendency to be overly concerned with whether you are meeting expectations. Consequently, you tend to speak and act with caution, which may be perceived as timidity and could potentially lead to others viewing you with disdain.

The fundamental tenets of a virtuous existence are straightforward: sincerity, honesty, and the avoidance of harm to others.