I am a Chinese teacher and stumbled during a classroom evaluation, unable to let it go?

Dear Landlord, Upon reading your article and noting that you are a Chinese teacher, I feel compelled to offer my compliments, as teaching is a highly respectable profession. However, it is evident from your description that you have been dwelling on the past and unable to move on. I hope that my sharing can be of assistance to you.

In the article, you articulated that you experienced embarrassment due to your inability to speak Mandarin clearly in front of numerous teachers during a class. This incident has led to a prolonged period of self-blame and self-recrimination. You expressed feelings of inadequacy and shame, particularly regarding your inability to adhere to the standard norms of Mandarin, which you perceive as a potential source of ridicule from your peers.

In point of fact, it is not the event itself that affects one's emotions; rather, it is one's perception of the event. Our personal interpretation of the cause of an event forms our final view of the world, which in turn affects our emotions and triggers different behaviors.

In psychology, the ABC theory, proposed by American psychologist Ellis in the 1860s, posits that emotional and behavioral responses, whether negative or positive, are caused by an individual's cognitive evaluation of an event.

This can be understood as follows:

In the context of real-life interactions, WeChat is the most commonly used chat tool. When a WeChat message is sent and not promptly responded to, the recipient does not immediately form an opinion or make a decision. Instead, they investigate to ascertain the reason for the lack of response.

If the response is interpreted as indicative of the other person's bad character, it will elicit feelings of anger, which may ultimately result in the decision to terminate the relationship, delete the other person's WeChat account, or block them.

In the event that the explanation provided is that the other person has not seen the message or is otherwise occupied and unable to respond, a sense of frustration may ensue, leading to a prolonged period of waiting for a reply.

In the event that the explanation provided is that the other person may have encountered some kind of emergency situation or is in danger, the result is a state of nervous and anxious anticipation, characterised by the sending of messages, the activation of voice and video functions, and even calls.

From this series of reactions, it can be observed that different mindsets give rise to disparate perceptions and feelings, which in turn inform disparate decisions. In the process, emotions and outcomes are shaped by each person's perception of the cause of the event and their style of interpretation, which is commonly known as the attribution style.

This incident merely reflects a deficiency in your Mandarin proficiency, which is an area that requires improvement. You may also utilize this as a personal objective to work on. It is important to recognize that nobody is perfect and that everyone has their own weaknesses. However, if you are courageous enough to address and work on your weaknesses, you have already made significant progress. If you are afraid of your weaknesses, you may continue to live in a state of hesitation, potentially experiencing embarrassment in situations where your non-standard Mandarin accent is revealed.

One can alter one's own self-perception. The initial step is to openly acknowledge the challenge of speaking Mandarin with an accent. One can then engage in independent practice of Mandarin after each class.

Secondly, it is recommended that the individual in question seek out a support network of friends, colleagues, or family members to whom they can confide in order to share their distress and embarrassing experiences. It is advised that the family members assist the individual in articulating their feelings and provide constructive feedback, which can facilitate personal growth.

Thirdly, it is recommended that the individual in question identify a suitable teacher with whom they have an established rapport. This will facilitate mutual learning and the opportunity to practise the language together.

Ultimately, it is my hope that you will emerge from this experience with a renewed sense of purpose and commitment to refining your abilities. As a teacher, I hold your profession in even higher regard.

It is my hope that these thoughts will prove helpful to you.

Hello, question asker!

They make mistakes because they are nervous, and that's totally forgivable!

The news broadcast is a much more serious and important occasion than your classroom, but over the years, there have still been hosts who have mispronounced words.

It's been more than two months since your incident, and you're still dwelling on it. You're becoming less confident, and you're even thinking about quitting. But you can do it! You can beat this psychological problem. It's getting a little serious, but you can beat it.

You're generalizing because you're pursuing perfection and you're unwilling to accept a flawed self that makes mistakes. And that's okay! We all make mistakes. But you know what? Behind your pursuit of perfection is also a parent who pursues perfection.

Your perception is also deeply affected by them, and you think that you are perfect and do not allow yourself to make the slightest mistake, thanks to their subtle influence!

In fact, we all agree that nothing in this world is perfect. And that's okay! The pursuit of perfection will only lead to suffering. Overgeneralizing and doubting one's abilities after speaking a few words of unstandardized Mandarin will make one become unconfident.

The Chinese teacher's Mandarin should be standard, so what if you make a mistake? At most, it can be used as a lesson. And you know what? Only through setbacks can people grow!

Oh my goodness, can it really be that serious that the host of the news broadcast mispronounces words?

You can do it! Recognize your cognitive errors, allow yourself to make mistakes, and accept your imperfections. Learn and establish a correct cognitive system.

This is the absolute best way to solve problems!

We're all imperfect, and that's totally okay! Accepting our imperfect selves is the best way to let ourselves off the hook.

Once we understand the psychological reasons behind our struggles, we can make positive changes in our behavior, which will then guide our work and life in amazing ways! Let's not be attached to the past and embrace the future with a bright, happy heart!

I am your guiding light! The world is full of love for you!