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I am a sensitive and fragile woman. I always argue with my boyfriend. I treat him well, but why is he like this?

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I am a sensitive and fragile woman. I always argue with my boyfriend. I treat him well, but why is he like this? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I am a relationships-and-vulnerable-inside-17292.html" target="_blank">sensitive and vulnerable girl with a boyfriend I have been in a relationship with for 3 years. He was very good to me during the honeymoon period, but gradually, he stopped being so good to me.

We always argue. Most of the time, the reason for the argument is that I feel he doesn't care about me and treats me badly.

In my daily life, I pay attention to the little details and every word he says. I think carefully about everything I do.

All my friends said that since he is not a good boyfriend in my heart, we might as well just break up. But I love him so much.

I love him with all my heart. Everyone says I'm very conflicted.

He said that loving someone means being tolerant. But

Whenever what he said or did didn't go the way I wanted, I got angry and felt aggrieved.

I kept thinking, "Why do I treat him so well, but he treats me like this?" The two of them also sat down and talked about this problem.

However, it did not solve the root cause, and he said that I was too sensitive. There was simply nothing to it.

It makes me wonder endlessly. I want to know whether I'm just being oversensitive or whether he doesn't love me at all.

Audrey Audrey A total of 7067 people have been helped

Hello, I'm Listener Z! It's not easy for two people to meet, but it's so worth it! There are many things that can cause conflicts between two people in life, but it's all part of the journey.

Let me use myself as an example. I have been in love with my lover for seven years and have been married for a year. We had many arguments during that time, but when I think about it now, they were just trivial things in life. Men are just not as meticulous and cannot express themselves well, which leads to escalating conflicts. But you can get to know more about his life!

You love him very much, and he loves you very much too! He just needs to learn how to express it. They say that when you marry someone, you are actually getting a tutor who will teach you how to live, to be attentive, to know how to care for someone, and how to love.

He's been changing for the better since you've been together! Take a closer look and see how he's changing for the better. Trust him, and he'll put his whole heart in your hands!

Don't let the words of others get in the way of your happiness! You know him best and understand his thoughts. Having said that, you are now the people closest to each other, and in the future, your parents will not be able to spend as much time with you as he has. Follow your heart, eliminate all external distractions, and make your own choice. I believe that three years of passionate love is not something that can be easily said to be over.

I absolutely believe you will think it through thoroughly, and I also believe your boyfriend really, really loves you!

Best wishes!

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Mia Sophia Harris Mia Sophia Harris A total of 4956 people have been helped

Hello, questioner.

From your description, it's clear you love your boyfriend and want him to do things your way and understand you.

This is the reality of relationships. Women want men to understand and appreciate them, but they don't express this. They hope that men can understand their feelings, but this doesn't happen because men are unable to understand rationally what we women really want.

You may have discussed this issue previously but are unsure of the solution. I am confident that the following suggestions will prove helpful.

[1] Be bold and speak up about what you need. When you want a specific way of handling something, take the initiative to communicate with your boyfriend and tell him directly what you want. If your boyfriend truly values you, he will do things your way.

If you emphasize it a few times and the guy doesn't do what you say, it's clear he didn't take your words to heart.

[2] Express your feelings, don't show your emotions. When you feel aggrieved or angry, tell your boyfriend: I feel aggrieved now, dear, because you did XXX, and I hope you XXX. Communicate with the other person in a different way. If the other person feels your sincerity, they will treat you differently.

[3] Cultivate our insensitivity. Being too concerned about small details is a waste of our energy. There are some details in life that, if we all care about them, will only make us feel a lot of negative emotions, cause us a lot of mental wear and tear, and make us anxious and sensitive. We must cultivate our insensitivity and not let ourselves become too sensitive.

Blunt sensitivity is the opposite of sensitivity. It reduces our sensitivity. The other person's thoughts are not our own. If we want what we need, we must communicate. We must communicate in order to truly understand what the other person is saying.

[4] Cherish this relationship and experience what love is. A relationship requires trust, understanding, and acceptance. Only when we do this can we see what the other person has done for us. If you say that the other person doesn't love you at all, you're looking for evidence that they don't love you. This is a sign of your distrust of yourself, the relationship, and your boyfriend. Trust the relationship and trust your boyfriend. You'll see what happens.

Finally, no matter what, relationships require mutuality. If you have the eyes to see happiness, you are actually happy. If you find that others do not love you and you are not worthy of love, then you will feel pain. Cultivate your own insensitivity. Discover that others also love you. It's a good attitude and wisdom for life.

I am confident that my answer has inspired you.

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Comments

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Violet Iris Success is the product of a mindset that views failure as a temporary setback.

I can totally relate to your feelings. It's really tough when you're pouring all your love into a relationship and it feels like it's not reciprocated in the way you expect. Maybe it's time to consider what you truly need from this relationship and whether it's worth holding on or if letting go could lead to something better for you.

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Hudson Miller Forgiveness is a way to find beauty in the midst of pain.

It sounds like you're going through an incredibly hard time. The fact that you've been together for three years shows there must be something special about him. Have you tried discussing with him how his actions make you feel, rather than focusing on what he's doing wrong? Sometimes changing the approach can open up new lines of communication.

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Davies Davis To be honest is to walk a straight path in a crooked world.

Hearing that your friends think he's not a good boyfriend must be tough. It seems like you're caught between your heart and your head. Relationships do take work, though. Perhaps seeking couples counseling could provide both of you with tools to understand each other better and find common ground.

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Aeneas Davis Life is a circle of happiness, sadness, hard times and good times.

Love is indeed about tolerance, but it's also about respect and care. If you feel that you're constantly compromising more than you're being valued, it might be worth evaluating if this relationship aligns with your needs and happiness. Your wellbeing should always come first.

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Yvonne Anderson The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love and forgiving and moving on.

You mentioned sitting down and talking didn't solve anything. Communication is key, but sometimes it takes multiple tries and different approaches. Are there any specific things you wish he would do differently? Maybe expressing those wishes clearly can help bridge the gap between your expectations and his actions.

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