I am a sensitive and vulnerable girl. Do you have any recommendations for psychology books?

Hello. From your description, I can see that you feel helpless and independent. You want to help yourself. As a middle school student, you face many factors that are difficult to control, including your family of origin, your personality traits, and your external environment. You want to help yourself and are full of motivation. I am here to support you!

As a psychological counselor, I am going to share my understanding from a psychological perspective.

Your reflection in the description and your awareness make it clear to me that your level of mentalization is very high. I was surprised and distressed by the final expression of "middle school student." Your goal is to adjust yourself through learning, and you want to recommend a lot of books. I believe that there are many teachers who will help. I am going to provide my understanding from the level of my feelings.

First, learn to express your inner feelings. Find a trusted and safe environment to talk about it, whether it be parents, relatives, friends, classmates, teachers, or a professional psychological counselor. Talking about it is the first step to letting go of your repressed emotions and reducing your stress levels. There are many sources of pressure, and you need an outlet to release it. Talking about it, expressing it, and recording it are all the best ways to reduce stress.

Second, accept yourself, understand your personality traits, and understand your strengths and weaknesses. Your strengths, such as your studiousness, independence, and ability to think, are all your advantages, which are your resources and the foundation of your confidence. Be better at being yourself! Your weaknesses may be due to an insecure attachment pattern in your object relations with your parents, which can lead to unease, avoidance, or tolerance in interpersonal interactions. Know your own shortcomings, learn, observe, and adjust so that you can make the most of your strengths and avoid your weaknesses, and improve your adaptability.

Third, you must learn theoretical knowledge, experience a lot, connect theory with practice, and plan under the guidance of a professional teacher. Middle school students face a lot of pressure to learn. You need a professional teacher to conduct individual case conceptualization and guidance for you because your internal repressed emotions, the inability to adjust, and the unconscious expression of awareness require professional attention. You also need to learn to express your needs and present your ideas to your parents, which will help you fulfill your role as a middle school student more effectively and with greater authenticity.

You've taken a big step today by expressing yourself and asking for help. This shows your inner strength and marks the start of your inner growth. The world and I love you, and you must learn to love yourself too. Use your resources to help you grow more effectively. I'm here to support you!

My dear girl, I once felt the same way you do, but at your age I was afraid to admit that I was sensitive and vulnerable. I just wanted to be strong and even deceive myself and others. But now you have a certain understanding and knowledge of your own character, and you are asking questions. I believe you must be looking forward to growing up, have high expectations for yourself and the future, and yearn for the good things in life.

A sensitive personality is partly due to innate factors and partly due to growth experiences. Regardless of the cause, sensitive children will have more perception during growth and feel deeper about every emotion, which you call "sensitive and fragile." The troubles of puberty may be magnified as a result, and they will pay attention to the words, actions, and stares of classmates and teachers, doubt themselves, etc. I can see why you have asked this question!

I want to tell you something really important. It's that sensitive people have higher talents, are more delicate, and have a higher ability to empathize. They also have unique advantages in terms of understanding, imagination, and creativity. You are now at the best age, and I really hope you can fully explore your advantages. In this process, you must be patient and confident in yourself.

If you're feeling lost, it's totally normal! You can vent your emotions by keeping a record or writing. You can keep a diary, read books, and exercise as appropriate.

From my own personal experience, I want to tell you something really important. I want you to cherish the time you have now. I know grades may not prove everything, but grades and exams are your passports to a wider world. In the days to come, you will surely encounter more excitement and beauty. So please concentrate on your studies and discover your talents and gifts. The troubles you face now are temporary, and the future that awaits after your efforts is beyond your imagination.

I'd highly, highly recommend the book Introverts: Highly Sensitive People by Sylvia Loken, published by Beijing Daily Press.

Good day. I am Qu Huidong, the individual who has been invited to respond to your inquiry.

As a middle school student, you are able to articulate your difficulties in a manner that demonstrates familiarity with professional psychological terminology. This suggests that you have engaged with a substantial body of literature on the subject.

You indicated that these books have also been beneficial to you. I am uncertain as to whether this benefit has manifested as an identification of your own issues or as the application of some of the techniques and the realization of their efficacy.

If you wish to read additional books and enhance your personal growth, that is an acceptable course of action. However, I believe it would be more beneficial if you were to revisit the books you have already read and found beneficial, and complete the exercises again. What are your thoughts on this matter?

You indicate that you lack a sense of security and that your lack of love in your original family has resulted in an excessive dependence on others. It is not possible to alter the reality of one's upbringing, but in my experience, I have encountered individuals who have experienced turbulent early growth experiences but who are able to recognize that it is not their fault and who are willing to work hard to find a way out in order to take control of their own lives.

It is commendable that you were already aware of the necessity to enhance your personal growth during your teenage years.

However, there is no immediate need for this. As a student, your current objective should be to gain knowledge through learning and to alter the course of your future. The purpose of attending school is not to secure gainful employment and substantial earnings, but rather to obtain a more expansive platform, a more comprehensive perspective, and a greater number of options in your life.

My dear child, I implore you to allow me to address you in this manner: I urge you to discard the limiting labels that impede your self-perception and embrace your true identity. You deserve to love yourself.

If you are indeed interested in recommending a book, you might consider reading "Living a Life You Don't Control." It is important to recognize that while we do not control the trajectory of our lives, it is nevertheless a worthwhile endeavor.

I wish you the best of success in your endeavors.