I am a shy girl, and I feel like I'm making my parents pay for me too much?

Dear Questioner, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your inquiry.

In retrospect, my parents incurred significant expenses to facilitate my enrollment in a private high school, a decision that ultimately led to my underperformance on the college entrance examination. Additionally, I lacked the requisite knowledge to navigate the application process, resulting in my inadvertent enrollment in a private university. The financial burden was considerable.

I am currently experiencing dental issues, including the need for wisdom teeth removal, which will undoubtedly result in significant financial costs. I frequently experience feelings of guilt and sadness. My father is the sole source of income for our family, and they express concern about my well-being at every stage of my life.

I am currently 19 years of age, and I find myself in a state of confusion regarding my future prospects. I am still in receipt of financial support for my university education, and I am reluctant to accept further financial assistance.

The question remains unanswered.

One may experience feelings of guilt when one's parents spend money on them, perceiving this as an indication of their own inconsiderateness.

It is a universal truth that parents desire the best for their children. During our early years, we relied on our mothers' nourishment and the care of our parents to survive and thrive.

As we mature, our fundamental needs remain unchanged. Lacking the capacity to generate income, we continue to depend on our parents for financial support, whether for educational pursuits or for meeting our basic necessities. This is a fundamental aspect of human nature: parents want their children to flourish, and children's emotional well-being remains a significant concern.

Upon becoming a mother, one may gain a deeper comprehension of this love. It is a quality that parents are willing to demonstrate, and it is also their obligation.

It is not yet feasible to repay them. What is the projected outcome?

It is not feasible to repay them for the time being, but it is possible to repay them at a later point in time.

It is possible that you are experiencing anxiety regarding your academic performance. You may perceive yourself as someone who is unable to witness your father's distress and possess a profound affection for him. However, it is also plausible that your father does not share this sentiment. He may believe that your overall well-being is of greater importance than your academic achievements, and that your grades, whether positive or negative, will not significantly impact your future.

It is possible that the parents' expectation is that I can only do them justice if I get good grades and that their money is not spent in vain. If we are unable to meet this expectation, it may be more beneficial to enjoy the present, enjoy the time we spend with our parents, study as hard as we can, do some housework, and express our love for our parents as much as possible. After all, they work hard so that you can grow up happily.

It is important to recognize that parental love is not something that can be easily quantified in financial terms. Rather than dwelling on concerns, it is more productive to focus on identifying ways to contribute to the situation at hand.

It is imperative to recognize the capacity for change and to accept the challenging work of one's parents. When one reaches adulthood, the opportunity to reciprocate will arise.

I am currently behind schedule. Yi Xinli World and I Love You.

Dear Question Asker,

As a 19-year-old, you are at the pinnacle of your life, a time of optimism, vigor, and growth. Every action you take is influenced by your parents' expectations and aspirations. They hope that you can thrive and flourish, and that the effort will be worthwhile, regardless of the challenges you face.

As the recipient of the benefits, you experience pressure and a sense of obligation, accompanied by feelings of guilt. You perceive that the rewards you have received are not commensurate with the sacrifices your parents have made. For instance, you performed below expectations in junior high school, resulting in your parents' decision to pay for an expensive private high school tuition. Similarly, you did not meet the requirements for the college entrance exam, leading to your enrollment in a private university, which incurred additional expenses. Additionally, you have incurred significant costs for dental treatment.

Your performance has been below expectations, not because of a lack of intelligence or effort, but because of the pressure your parents have placed on you. This pressure has affected your state of mind and caused you to feel guilty, leading you to question the value of their hard work. These thoughts have influenced your subconscious mind, resulting in your current performance.

If your parents are not satisfied with your performance, you may be required to work harder.

It is therefore essential to understand your underlying emotions in order to find a way out of the situation. On the one hand, you should identify the automatic thoughts you have formed over a long period of time and change your core values and beliefs. On the other hand, you should communicate more with your parents, express your thoughts, and let your parents know your true feelings. This will reduce your sense of guilt and allow you to move on with your life.

Additionally, you may wish to consider recording your feelings and transforming them into poetry or a well-written essay. Once you have regained your self-confidence, you will be in a position to assist your parents in the future.

I hope this reply will provide you with the motivation to improve your situation and meet your parents' expectations.

My name is Chu Mingdeng, and I extend my sincerest regards to you and the world.

At 19, you've got so much ahead of you! The world is your oyster. You've still got time to do whatever you want.

A series of unpleasant and expensive experiences in the past, although they make you feel guilty and uncomfortable when you think back on them, are in the past after all. And that's a good thing! It shows that you have learned from them and gained some experience.

You've recognized what you did wrong in the past, and you're ready to make a change!

You've made the great decision to start living your life on your own terms! It's time to make some changes.

At the age of 19, it's incredible to have such a deep understanding of life and life!

"They're always there for me, supporting me through every stage of my life. I'm only 19 and I'm excited to see what the future holds."

"They still have to pay for my college education, and I'm excited to be starting out on my own and ready to contribute to the family finances!"

The age of 19, or even before the age of 18, is a time when parents can start to worry less and let their kids spread their wings. At 19, it's totally normal to feel a bit confused about the future, but it's also a time when you're just starting out on your own life journey.

From the text, it seems that the questioner is taking responsibility for their situation, which is a great first step!

Could it be that the questioner is unconsciously trying to avoid the anxiety of future uncertainty by taking responsibility for their actions in the past? This could be a great way to stay motivated to move forward! However, it's important to ensure that self-blame doesn't become excessive.

I really hope this is just my own projection!

The best way to find your path is to start with the things you can do right now. Take care of your health, help your parents with chores, study hard, and even try short-term work in the community to get a feel for it. You never know what you'll discover!

I truly believe that in the process of "practice," the question owner will gradually become clear and determine the direction to go in the future.

I really hope my reply helps you out! Wishing you the best!

Hug!

You're a sensible and kind child. You can see that your parents have spent a lot on you. You don't want them to spend money on you anymore.

Raising a child is a two-way street. Parents gain too, like love and trust from their children, as well as their children's care in the future.

Some parents spend money on their children as a way of showing love. Many mothers also consider cooking for their children to be an expression of love.

I have read that when going home for the New Year and other holidays, parents will fill the trunk because they are afraid their children will starve when they are away. Don't you think they know they can buy anything nowadays?

They know, but this is their way of showing love and helping their children. The child knows things can be bought and aren't valuable.

But because of love, these things mean something different.

My little girl says, "When I grow up, you can give me this" whenever she likes something I own. She often asks for clothes and shoes.

I said, "These are old. When you grow up, I'll buy you new ones." She refused, insisting on the old ones.

She cares more about having her mother's things than the things themselves.

You're 19 and going to university. Most kids at this age are still spending their parents' money. It's not time to repay them yet.

Keep spending your parents' money and accepting their love. Show your love for them by thanking them and helping out.

Study hard so you can repay your parents' love.

Don't let the moral burden weigh you down. The relationship between parents and children is a two-way street. Even if you don't do anything in the future, I'm sure your parents will still love you.

From what you said, it seems like they don't measure their child's worth in money.

Some parents wonder if it's worth raising their children. They ask if they'll get anything in return, like support in old age.

Some parents are good to their children simply because they are their children. This child is worth loving.

Don't worry about the burdens now. Accept them with peace of mind. Then, show your love and try to give them more.

I'm a Buddhist who's often pessimistic. I'm also a counselor who's sometimes positive. And I love the world.

Hello, I'm the place of peace. I'm grateful to have met you.

From what you've told me, it seems like your main issue is spending too much money on your parents. You feel like they've made a lot of sacrifices for you and that you owe them a lot. You feel a lot of guilt and dissatisfaction towards your parents and blame yourself a lot, right?

But you're still a student, even though you're in university. You don't need to feel guilty about using your parents' money, but it's not natural either. After all, you haven't left school, started working, or entered the workforce yet, right?

You're sensible and filial, and you have the chance to repay and show your parents love in return when you're older, right?

I think you understand the reasoning behind this, so why are you still feeling so strongly about it? Have you ever wondered why?

If you don't want to answer, that's okay. Just let me know.

You can answer if you want to, or not—whatever you're comfortable with.

I'd like to know a bit more about your family situation. Do your parents work hard?

Have they ever told you how tough it is to make money?

I'd like to know more about your relationship with your parents. Have they told you what they expect from you?

For instance, what school will you attend in the future, what kind of work will you do, or will people expect you to become successful and bring honor to your family?

If so, how did you feel at the time? Were you stressed, fearful, anxious, or depressed?

Have you ever tried to have an open and honest conversation with your parents about how you really feel?

If there is, how do they react?

If not, why not? Are you unwilling?

Are you afraid? Or are you afraid to say it because you can't accept your parents' attitude?

You might need to take some time to think things through and figure out where your current guilt, discomfort, and self-blame are coming from.

Once you find the source, things will start to make more sense.

Forgive yourself and don't carry so much baggage. You deserve to be loved and taken care of.

I'm here for you. You can count on me.

I just wanted to say thank you. I also have a 20-year-old daughter who doesn't do well in school and is shy. Your questions have given me a better idea of how to get along with her in the future.

Thank you, my good child.

I get the impression you're a very kind and sensible child. I also have a daughter around your age.

She's a great employee, but she often feels like she's let us down. Maybe you're both overthinking it a bit when it comes to parenting.

1. I think your parents, like me, are willing to give and are just hoping you'll keep getting better and better.

2. Your words are filled with shame and suffering. I don't know how long you've been holding these feelings in, but it's a relief that you're able to talk about them today.

I think you'll find that many people here will be happy to help you.

3. It's understandable that you failed the college entrance exam. You've been carrying a lot of shame and discomfort, and it's taken a toll on you.

You're just not in the right frame of mind to take on the highly competitive college entrance exam.

4. Your parents' efforts have become a burden to you and have brought you self-blame. I'd like to know if your parents have ever blamed you for blaming yourself so much.

Maybe they said that, and as a parent, I apologize for that. We also have emotions, and we really didn't mean to hurt you. You can be honest with your parents about these emotional issues and let go of the knots in your heart.

5. It seems like you're feeling a bit lost about the future, which is totally normal for someone your age. It looks like you don't have any specific goals in mind for the future.

You might want to think about doing some career planning. If you have a goal, focus on the present moment, and I believe you will have the ideal world you want.

6. Auntie also says that the love our parents have for us is something we can never fully repay in this lifetime. We can only continue this love from generation to generation.

Congratulations on your future! I know you'll face your college life with confidence. Throw off your burdens and embrace the future!

Dear question asker,

At the age of 19, you have already demonstrated an ability to provide care for your family. You have also exhibited a high level of comprehension. I extend my sincerest regards to you.

An individual may possess two distinct identities: that of a child and that of a parent. These identities are not mutually exclusive, and they each possess their own unique set of stances and perspectives. When an individual receives assistance from another, a natural emotional response is gratitude, which may then manifest as a desire to reciprocate the gesture.

An individual is both a child and a parent, representing two distinct identities. These identities shape one's stance and perspective. When others offer assistance, gratitude is naturally expressed and reciprocation is sought. However, when offering help to others, repayment may not be a primary consideration. Instead, it may stem from a sense of conscience and goodwill.

Parents are obliged and responsible for providing for their children, motivated primarily by instinctive love.

The more selfless this love is, the more onerous it becomes. It is incumbent upon each of us to confront this issue and engage in introspection regarding our capacity to accept and comprehend this love.

It is beneficial to accept this situation with a grateful attitude and utilize it as motivation for one's own efforts. It is unnecessary to experience guilt, as it is believed to be contrary to their wishes.

Not all efforts are arduous, and not all efforts necessitate compensation, particularly within the context of parent-child relationships. This is the rationale behind the description of children as a "sweet burden" for their parents.

Not all strenuous endeavors are inherently arduous, and not all such endeavors necessitate compensation, particularly within the context of parent-child relationships. This is why individuals often characterize children as a "sweet burden" to their parents.

"I am still responsible for repaying the costs of my own college education, and I am reluctant to impose further financial demands on my parents."

"I am aware that my parents still bear the financial responsibility of my college education, and I feel a sense of reluctance towards further expenditure on my behalf."

It is important to note that your parents do not expect you to feel guilty about pursuing your education. They would be more pleased to see you succeed in your own endeavors. Furthermore, it is crucial to understand that the value placed on money varies significantly from one individual to another. For instance, an ice cream that costs 100 yuan may be perceived as expensive, while a house that costs 100,000 yuan may be considered affordable. This is because different items are assigned different values based on individual perceptions and preferences.

It is important to note that feelings of guilt should not be a factor in this decision. It is unlikely that your parents would want you to feel guilty about pursuing your own interests. Furthermore, it is unwise to place undue emphasis on financial considerations. For example, an ice cream that costs 100 yuan may be considered expensive, while a house that costs 100,000 yuan may be considered cheap. This is because individuals have different value judgments about different things. Additionally, pursuing higher education can lead to significant life changes that may not be fully captured by the tuition fees alone. It is crucial to avoid giving up due to feelings of financial burden. Otherwise, you may end up regretting your decision and disappointing your parents.

If one truly cares about one's parents, it would be beneficial to channel one's efforts into pursuing a fulfilling and rewarding life. This can serve as an excellent source of motivation and a testament to one's parents. It is a testament to one's own capabilities and a demonstration of one's commitment to their well-being.

My name is Xiao Dong, and I am a practicing psychologist. I extend my best wishes to you for a happy life.

Hello, girl! From your description, I can tell that you are a very kind, sensible, and empathetic girl.

Your parents have sacrificed so much for you! You feel sorry for them for all the hard work they've done. But don't worry! You haven't achieved results that match their efforts yet, so you feel guilty, self-blame, and pressure.

On a subconscious level, this feeling comes from a sense of self-worthlessness and unworthiness. But there's so much more to you than that!

You are your parents' favorite child, and everything they have done for you is something they are willing to do. And you deserve it!

The past is already in the past! There's no benefit at all in constantly dwelling on the "whirlpool of the past." It will only lead to constant emotional depletion. Focus on the present! Focus on what you can do in the present!

For example, you can share the housework, a massage, and a back rub with your parents after a hard day's work. You can even say something intimate to them to thank them for everything they've done for you! As parents, you can definitely feel your deep love.

And there's more! You can also take part in some social practice activities in your free time. For instance, Mai XX and Ken XX often offer job opportunities for college students.

The best part is that you can earn money to pay for your tooth filling! You can also gain social experience and learn interpersonal and communication skills, which will give you a huge advantage when choosing a job after graduation.

You are already an adult, and I know you can do all this! When you can grow and take on your own responsibilities, I know your parents will be happy, joyful, and relieved.

Best of luck! I really hope this helps. Wishing you all the best!