I am afraid of others finding out no matter what I do.

Hello, my dear friend. I can see that you are afraid of being known by others. This has caused a lot of trouble in your studies and life. Many things you want to do and want are also restricted, which is very hard and difficult. I'm here to support you. Hugs.

1. Be aware of what you're afraid of and what your core beliefs are.

It's totally normal to be afraid of being known by others, even if it's the right thing to do. This is a subconscious fear hidden within you, perhaps a fear of being judged by others, or a fear of performing in public. Either way, it's important to understand what you're really afraid of inside, and if you do it, what consequences you're worried about. Find your core beliefs in doing things.

2. It can be really helpful to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and think about their core beliefs.

Once you know what you're afraid of and your own logic, you can then think from the perspective of someone standing by the sidelines and see how the bystander would view the situation if it were not you. You might be surprised at how many other ways there are to resolve the situation!

3. Just give it a try!

You've got this! Believe in yourself and go for it! We all know that the first step can be scary, but if you think about how happy you'll be when you achieve it, you can do it!

If you're struggling to get started, don't worry! You can talk to a counselor to help you understand the underlying reasons and find ways to make positive changes.

The world and I love you!

Hi, I'm Susu, your heart exploration coach!

Hello!

Growing up is all about establishing boundaries with others. It's a great way to consolidate your sense of identity and gradually form a true "self." And it's totally normal that you don't want to share your "secrets" with others. It just means you're learning how to consolidate yourself, which is a big step in the right direction!

On the other hand, it also shows that your family may interfere with you more often than usual, which is great because it means they care! The boundaries between each other are very blurred, so you are afraid that once you tell them what you are doing, they will have a lot of influence on you that you cannot control—but that's a good thing because it means they care!

You also mentioned that there are many things you want to do, but you don't want to do them because you're afraid of what other people will think. This is totally normal! We all have things we want to do but are afraid to take the leap. The good news is that you can start taking those steps today. You just need to find that feeling inside you that will drive you to take action. Once you do, you'll be amazed at what you can achieve! There are a few possibilities as to why you're not taking action: 1) You have a motive, but you don't want to be responsible for the results of your actions; 2) The "desire" to act is not actually yours, but may be driven by someone else's feelings. Once you identify which one applies to you, you can start taking those steps to make your dreams a reality!

Either scenario is actually a bit contradictory: on the one hand, you want to be yourself, but on the other, you don't want to be the subject of action. In short, there may still be some resistance to growth within you. The reason why a secret is a secret is precisely because it may be discovered one day. But here's the good news: keeping a secret can help you gain some space and consolidate a part of yourself!

Wishing you all the best!

Zhu Rong, your friendly neighborhood psychological counselor, Liu Mi!

Hello, question asker.

I'm going to make an educated guess here and say that the OP doesn't want others to know what he wants to do and is probably afraid of the following situations:

Scenario 1: After learning what you want to do, others, especially parents, try to get in your way. They constantly interrupt you or deny your abilities.

If you encounter this situation, you will be annoyed, but you will persevere and stick to your original plan.

Think about it. If you're afraid of this happening, you've already failed. You've given up before you've even started.

If you're afraid of this situation, then why not give it a try? You might just find that the people around you are giving you support, not rejection. And you might accomplish this after overcoming many hardships.

Scenario 2: After someone learns what you want to do, they support you very much. You are not afraid of letting down their support and expectations.

Think of the people you care about, like your close friends and family. What would you do if they wanted to do something and you were very supportive and hoped they succeeded, but the result wasn't great? You'd be disappointed, sure, but you'd also think about how to comfort them. Their failure wouldn't affect your opinion of them or your relationship. So, there's no reason to be afraid to try. Family and friends should be your rock and a safe place to land when you're fighting for something, not the opposite.

Scenario 3: Others know what you want to do and secretly want you to fail and laugh at you.

I am certain that the questioner does not have such thoughts about their close friends and family. Similarly, true friends and family, people who truly love you, will not have such thoughts. As for people who have such thoughts, I don't care what they think. Everyone has limited energy. It is already enough of a drain to just care about the feelings of the people you like and are close to. As for people who will laugh at you, they can be treated like clowns and don't need to be cared about.

The above three points are based on my experience and are worth considering. The questioner may be afraid of other situations, but no matter what the situation is, they can first imagine the worst possible outcome and then compare it with the current situation of doing nothing. In most cases, trying is the better choice.

I have one piece of advice for the original poster: start with small things and do them as soon as you think of them. Don't worry about what might happen if someone finds out. Just do it. You'll get used to doing it right away, and you won't have time to think or worry. Second, you may find that many people don't care what you did. What you did may not even be noticed. And even if they do notice, the end result may not be as bad as you think. So, why not?

I am confident that my answer has been helpful to the original poster. I wish the original poster the best of luck.