I am an introvert with no friends around me. I feel lonely inside and am afraid that I will be left alone.

Perhaps offering a hug to the questioner could be helpful. It might be the case that the wounds of the original family take a lifetime to heal. If the past cannot be changed, then it could be beneficial to focus on the future.

You mentioned that you feel afraid of being alone, that you don't have many friends, and that you are concerned that when your parents leave, you will be left all alone. I believe there is a line in Lung Ying-tai's prose that says, "From the moment a child is born, it is constantly saying goodbye."

It may be helpful to recognize that change is a natural part of life, including the end of relationships with parents and friends. However, it's also important to acknowledge the presence of a constant companion throughout our lives, even until the end.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that the person in question is yourself.

It might be helpful to consider that the best way to overcome loneliness or being lonely is to build up your confidence, be your own friend, and when you are strong enough, you may find that loneliness is a kind of enjoyment, a way to maintain the most comfortable territory in your heart.

I hope you will find these suggestions helpful.

1* It might be helpful to read and learn. When interpersonal relationships are distant and you cannot get energy from others, you could try drawing from books. Books might open the door to a new world for you.

2*You might consider making friends with strangers and coming to the platform to learn. It's possible that you'll find that many people are in a similar situation, experiencing the same confusion. We can support each other by sticking together and helping one another. You may find that, by considering other people's answers, you can find a way that suits you and improve your current situation.

3*You might consider trying psychotherapy for a period of time, accepting the help of a counselor, and using professional methods to guide you to the root cause and make fundamental changes.

4*Please don't be afraid. We are all the same, living alone in this world. You are not an exception, so when you see us here, it means we are with you!

Hello question asker,

I've read your description a few times.

I grew up in an unhappy family. I was shy and never had any friends. I didn't have a single friend until university, but I lost contact with them after graduation.

I'm an introvert. After I started working, I couldn't adapt to society and lacked friends. I know my parents love me, but their way of communicating hurts. I've tried to stay away from them, but I'm even more lonely living alone.

I was close to a cousin. I was happy when he was around. Now he has also gone to Shenzhen. I am alone in my hometown. I am afraid that one day my parents will die and I will be left alone.

?

I am an introvert who doesn't like to go out. It's lonely being alone. People are social animals. We need to socialize to gain praise, recognition, and a sense of worth.

We have social skills and are willing to make friends. For example, we have a few friends at university and a cousin who gets along well with us.

As we get older, we have fewer true friends. Everyone is growing up and meeting new people, just like our memories, which are slowly being updated. Some people will slowly be replaced. So as we grow up, some people will keep coming into our lives, while others will slowly leave us. At the same time, there are also many people who are willing to accept us.

If it's hard to make friends, try new things. Go jogging, work out, shop, visit the library, or go to clothing or flower shops. You'll meet new people. You might not become close friends, but you'll learn and grow.

To overcome social phobia, we must face our fears. We worry that if we do this or say that, others will not like us. Don't be afraid of making a fool of yourself.

We can hear the concern in our parents' words even though we don't like the way they speak.

Recommended books: "Inferiority and Transcendence" and "The Courage to Be Disliked."

Accept your imperfect self.

Best wishes! I'm back. Yiyi Psychology, the World, and I Love You

Hello, how are you doing? I see you, the person who is bound by themselves. I hope you can see your own strength and come out of your confusion.

You say you are introverted, socially awkward, afraid of loneliness, isolated, and afraid of being alone.

You want to change, get rid of your fear of loneliness, and connect with the world, but you don't know how.

Do you see yourself here?

You want to socialize to fill your loneliness.

You have abandoned yourself, even when you have company.

If you abandon yourself, how can others replace you?

What can you do?

Don't rush to socialize. Look within.

Look after yourself first.

Look at that lonely self within, accept that lonely self, and say to yourself, "It's okay if no one is here to keep me company right now."

Do you want others to chat with you?

Take a walk with you, watch a movie with you, learn and grow with you?

Accompany yourself in this way. Communicate with your inner self, listen to your inner voice, and do things that make you feel happy.

Then you share the joy you feel, and that connects you with others.

Who doesn't like people who are happy? But you have to be happy yourself first.

You can't share what you don't have. Don't share just to please others.

Dear questioner, I admire your courage in sharing your story. Despite the challenges you've faced, you've made remarkable progress. It's clear that you have a strong support system, including your parents, cousin, and now, this platform. I'm also here, sending you love and encouragement. You're not alone.

I commend you for your self-awareness. Many people are unaware of their own challenges, and you have taken a significant step towards recognizing and addressing yours. Additionally, your ability to be alone is a valuable asset, and your recognition of introversion and sensitivity as strengths is commendable. The trauma caused by family discord has presented you with an opportunity to flourish.

The absence of complicated interpersonal relationships allows you the opportunity to focus single-mindedly on developing your talents.

With regard to your talents, I would like to suggest that you consider taking the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality test, which could provide you with a more comprehensive understanding of yourself. If you believe that you are a natural healer, you may wish to explore ways of developing the abilities and skills that match this. By using your talents to help more people, you may find that your feelings of loneliness gradually disappear. Your life may then become stronger and more powerful. I am a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili, and I am dedicated to helping women grow. By building a social support network for women through reading, talking to me, or talking to anyone you trust, you may discover more of your strengths and talents. Always remember: the world and I love you.

Hello! From your question, I understand that you are currently socially isolated, feeling lonely, and even more worried about the loneliness of growing old with your parents and being the only one left.

Just reading the words makes me feel quite lonely and isolated. This feeling is not good! Give yourself a hug to give yourself a sense of warmth if it's convenient.

1. You mentioned family discord. I want to be clear that we cannot choose our family, but we can change our life. Don't give up your right to change for the better!

If you want a more harmonious life, you need to change the things you can. Learn, read more books, and help yourself to know yourself, grow yourself, and develop a better level of cognition. There are many ways to learn, and you can learn on the Yi Xinli platform. Participate in some co-construction groups, and you'll have a stronger desire to grow because of your learning and progress.

2. It's a common misconception that introverts are better off alone. In fact, both introverts and extroverts are relative. If you crave the company of friends or have a strong desire for friendship, emotional intimacy, and communication, then simply acknowledging your introverted personality isn't enough.

You should try to increase your socialization and make new friends. You had a few good friends in college and were close to your cousin.

You have social skills. It's possible that for various reasons, you have become less connected or have lost contact, but the fact is that you have social skills, right? If you were able to make a few good friends in the past, then you can still make friends now.

Take up some interest studies and explore your favorite fields in depth. You will meet like-minded people.

3. I want to remind you that it's important to identify what's preventing you from maintaining friendships. Have you taken the initiative to stop contacting your old friends with whom you've lost contact?

If you could reconnect, what would you do?

This is clearly related to the impact of family disharmony that you mentioned earlier. You undoubtedly had attachment difficulties or were in a conflicted attachment.

You want to be close to the object of your attachment (your parents when you were a child), but you find it difficult to express your feelings appropriately towards them.

You need to learn about, become aware of, and overcome this subject. It is an opportunity for growth. Re-evaluate your understanding of attachment. It will benefit you greatly in the future, whether it be friendships, love, or raising your own children after you become a parent.

Read psychology books. I recommend "Why We Always Avoid," "Rebuilding Your Life," and "Families on Hot Plates."

I am confident that the above will be helpful.

Hello. I am the place of peace.

"Growing up in an unhappy family and being naturally introverted and sensitive made me socially awkward and socially anxious. I finally made friends in university."

If you grew up in an unhappy family, you were naturally withdrawn and had no friends until you were in university.

I don't know what "discord" means. Tell me what feelings your small family brought you.

I was not allowed. I was not seen.

I want to know if I was not understood or not accepted.

I want to know if it was about not being accepted.

Tell me, how did you get through those lonely years alone without any friends?

Tell me, why did you not have friends? Were you afraid of contact and intimacy?

Were you worried that you might say or do the wrong thing and be mocked or disliked? Did you prefer to bear the heavy burden of loneliness rather than go among people and get close to others to protect yourself?

I want to know how you broke through your self-protective shell and made friends in college when you had never had any friends before. What did you do to achieve this?

Tell me, how do you feel when you have friends? Do you feel a sense of happiness and joy that you have never felt before?

I can sense your inner loss after you lost contact with your friends after graduating from university. Do you feel a sense of abandonment?

"I am introverted, and I am not able to adapt to society after work. I lack friends, and I am lonely."

The text repeatedly mentions your "introverted" personality as if it were the root of your problems.

This is likely due to the prejudice against introverted personalities in our society. Extroverted personalities are often seen as warm, proactive, positive, and optimistic, with many admirable qualities. In contrast, introverts are often perceived as shy, unsociable, unable to express themselves, and generally unappealing.

Let me be clear: introversion and extroversion are more about people's habits in different situations. They do not represent a person's character.

And let's be honest, introverts give the impression of being calmer, safer, and more trustworthy. Think about how you made friends in college.

You say you're introverted and can't adapt to society or make friends. I think there's more to it than that. It's possible you're subconsciously resisting integration and forming friendships. It's also possible you think keeping a safe distance is the best approach.

Your parents love you, but the way they communicate is hurtful. You get along well with your cousin and are happy when you are with him.

You must understand that if it is an acceptable and preferred way of communication, you are willing to communicate with others, or at least not resist or resent it.

You should try communicating with people in a way that you are familiar with and see what difference it makes.

You say that your cousin has gone to Shenzhen, leaving you alone at home again, and that loneliness and fear are haunting you. You are afraid that one day your parents will leave and you will be left alone in this world. I can feel the deep sense of fear that this thought brings you, a feeling that is even suffocating.

If this feeling is unbearable just to think about, then you need to try doing something that can make you feel better and more comfortable.

Embrace your introversion. Stop setting limits on yourself. Start tomorrow by taking small steps towards others. Start with a smile, a greeting, and get closer to them. When you are willing to take this step with courage, you will discover that the world is wide and you are not alone.

Greetings.

Individuals who are introverted are not inherently incapable of forming friendships. Rather, introversion represents a particular expression of personality. When an individual's personality is not extroverted and they are not adept at expressing themselves in a crowd, this may be due to a preference for experiencing happiness in tranquility or a strong sense of self-protection.

However, humans are social animals by nature. People desire the sense of security that comes from being with others and often feel more warmth when they are in the company of others. This makes life easier and more vibrant, and enriches the spiritual world.

The difficulty in accepting loneliness stems from two factors. Firstly, individuals may lack the capacity to be alone, or the ability to be alone. Secondly, as time passes, people become more adept at dispelling feelings of loneliness through communication. Consequently, when there is no mutual exchange of information, a sense of loneliness may arise. Those who can flexibly apply social skills can often avoid feelings of loneliness.

The process of maturation entails a continual strengthening of one's abilities. From a psychological perspective, this phenomenon can be conceptualized as growth, whereby an individual's capacity to adapt to their environment and pursue personal autonomy is enhanced. This enables them to function independently and to cope effectively when confronted with adversity. However, not all individuals successfully transition to an autonomous personality during this developmental phase. Some may experience difficulties in coping with the demands of life, manifesting as mental and physical distress. In such cases, the restoration of self-reliance and self-confidence hinges on the establishment of a fundamental sense of trust and the re-establishment of connections with the external world.

Similarly, psychological rehabilitation necessitates a daily commitment to exercise and attention to ensure the optimal functioning of our psychological processes.

The fear of making friends and the avoidance of social interaction is often associated with a lack of psychological boundaries. Individuals with a weak sense of psychological boundaries are prone to confusion, whereby they internalize the personalities of others and become more sensitive to emotional and sensory stimuli. Additionally, childhood experiences may also influence these individuals, potentially affecting their ability to interact with their environment.

In the case of the questioner, it is recommended that the questioner refrain from self-labeling with negative terms such as "incompetent" and instead cultivate self-encouragement and self-confidence, positive self-suggestions in social situations, and a natural and gracious communication style. When one steps out of one's own thoughts and returns to reality, one can gradually open oneself up to social interaction, which may prove less intimidating than initially anticipated. Over time, one can develop the capacity to form positive relationships and establish a personal social network.

Best wishes for success and continued effort!