I am engaged to the groom, but my parents do not agree with the marriage. What should I do?

Hello, host!

I can absolutely relate to the host's emotional state. On the one hand, there are the parents who gave birth to you, and on the other hand, there is the amazing lover.

As a mediator, I'm excited to see which side I'll take!

In our lives, everyone will encounter many difficulties. And whenever difficulties arise,

Some people are totally up for facing problems head-on and actively tackling them!

Some people choose to escape or hide.

In the end, there are two very different outcomes!

Is there a happy medium? I think there is!

Or is it really that you can choose to give up on one side and choose the other?

It all comes down to the courage of the host and their ability to bear pain.

From childhood, we have been brought up to listen to our parents, to be filial, and not to disobey them. What a wonderful thing to be brought up to do!

Some people have an amazingly easy time growing up and following the path laid out for them by their parents!

But there are also those who feel that they have not yet had the chance to show their true colors!

So our parents oppose our decisions because they care about us and want us to make the right choices.

We usually obey our parents unconditionally until we reach adulthood, which is a great thing!

But we are adults now, and we have the amazing ability and freedom to pursue our own happiness!

Absolutely! You can respect your parents' advice, but you also need to clearly express your own wishes.

The original poster also insisted on contacting him for three years, which shows that he is still head over heels for his lover!

And our loved ones are the family members we get to walk hand in hand with for the rest of our lives!

Our parents are the family members who supported us and grew up with us in the first half of our lives.

If the original poster is absolutely certain that their current lover can make them happy,

Then, with a clear conscience, explain to your parents that no matter what the man's conditions are, you just like this person!

You truly believe he can bring you happiness, and your parents are really hoping for their child to find happiness too!

Those who muster the courage to pursue their own happiness will undoubtedly get what they want!

Even if things don't turn out the way you hoped, you can still live a life without regrets!

I really hope the host and his/her original family are able to transition to a new family!

And become the amazing person who can seize their own happiness!

I am Warm June, and I love the world and you!

Good morning, host.

Firstly, I can sense your inner conflict in your words. On the one hand, you have your parents, and on the other, you have your loving boyfriend. It will be very painful to give up either one, and it is even more contradictory to be unable to make a choice. However, there is currently no way to reach a consensus with your parents, which has given rise to a strong sense of helplessness. Deep down, you really hope for their support, but their decisive and absolute attitude also makes you feel sad. I am unsure if I have accurately interpreted your emotions.

I would like to take this opportunity to share some thoughts on the subject of parents hindering their children.

It is not uncommon in China for parents to become involved in their children's marriages. This can create a challenging situation for young people as they navigate the complexities of love and marriage.

In general, there are two main types of parental interference in their children's romantic lives and marriages.

One such instance is when a child has fallen in love, but their parents believe it to be unsuitable and decline to support the relationship, or even seek an alternative partner for the child.

Secondly, despite reaching the age of marriageability, children are reluctant to seek a partner, prompting anxious parents to intervene.

Any interference will have a detrimental impact on the parent-child relationship and family harmony. As a child, if you respect your parents' opinions, you will experience internal conflict; if you act contrary to their wishes, they will be displeased.

This presents a significant challenge for children to navigate before marriage.

From a psychological standpoint, it is natural for individuals to desire control over others, particularly parents who may feel their authority gives them leverage over their children. However, as children mature into adulthood, they often develop minds of their own, seeking autonomy and pursuing their own desires. This dynamic can lead to a recurring challenge: how to align with parents' expectations without intensifying the conflict?

In the event of parental interference in a marriage, it may be possible to resolve the conflict and achieve personal happiness by following two simple steps.

First and foremost, it is essential to ascertain your true objectives.

It is only when an individual is fully aware of their objectives that they can maintain motivation throughout the process of perseverance. This approach ensures that they will not regret their decisions after achieving their goals. Many young people initially insist on their own opinions, but after a few years, they often regret not listening to their parents' opinions in the first place.

It is important to remember that although parents' opinions may seem intrusive and controlling, they are actually making the best choice for their children from their own perspective. However, it is not for parents to decide whether this choice is right for you. That decision rests with you.

If you are certain that the person you are with is your lifelong partner, it is advisable to inform your parents in a firm but polite manner that you wish to be with them and request their understanding.

2. Regardless of how strongly your parents object, maintain a calm and respectful demeanor while persistently advocating for your position. With time, your parents will likely reconsider their stance.

However, if conflicts intensify, they can have a detrimental impact on family dynamics, even if the couple eventually gets married.

It is also important to improve the relationship with your parents and achieve positive communication in order to gain a deeper understanding of the situation.

Everyone has their own weaknesses, and parents are no exception. Ultimately, effective communication is about expressing your needs in a way that is acceptable to the other person.

Marriage and family counselors often say, "It's not what you say that matters, it's how you say it." Therefore, in the process of communication, it is essential to consider how your parents may perceive your words and actions. By demonstrating understanding of their love and commitment to your own choices, you can foster a more positive and constructive relationship.

In conclusion, it is important to remember that while love is a valuable aspect of life, family ties are equally so. It is not possible to prioritize one over the other without negatively impacting one's long-term happiness and stability.

It is therefore recommended that you seize the opportunity to communicate with your parents, as this will enable you to make them understand your feelings and ultimately fulfill your love.

This information is provided for the landlord's reference. It is my hope that it will be of assistance to you, and that you will find happiness.

Hello!

Your title shows you're suffering! You want to stick to your choices, but you have to make your parents happy. These two things can't be combined. You've suffered a lot!

I want to hug you!

To the questioner:

Your boyfriend is the one you love. You've been engaged and together for three years despite your parents' objections. He must be someone you approve of!

You stayed with him because you were under pressure!

Dealing with your parents: You are a kind girl. You couldn't bear to see your parents suffer because of you. You gave up the engagement and went home. You tried to make your parents accept your boyfriend and your choice, but they were more powerful. You didn't have the strength to stick to your choice!

When you gave up the engagement, you must have struggled, right? What made you change your mind?

Your parents scolded you every time you returned home. You were trying to protect yourself from their criticism. But you couldn't stand it, so you went home to look after them. Your parents didn't understand how you felt. They took it out on you. You must have had a hard time!

You're very patient. I feel sorry for you! How did you feel when your parents embarrassed you in front of their relatives?

How did you get through it? Take care of yourself and ask yourself what you want.

You have your own life!

You're in a tough spot. It'd be great if someone understood and cared about you! Until then, try to understand yourself better, see how hard it is, and care for yourself more!

Zhang Defen has a book called "Be Willing to Let the One You Love Suffer." It has a passage for parents who are very controlling. I want to share it with you: Stand firm in your position with love. Show them who you are and what you want. They will be disappointed, but they can learn a valuable lesson. They need to make room for their children to grow and live on their own. They can bless their children for living their best lives.

To get back the strength of life from your parents, you need to grow yourself.

You can also go to local psychological institutions to participate in psychological salons, classes, etc. You can also find a professional listener or counselor at Yixinli to chat with. First, let yourself grow up. Then, deal with these relationships. The result will be different.

I hope this helps. Best wishes!