I am extremely sad and cannot accept my past experiences. What should I do?

I'm sending you a big, warm hug from afar. I know you're feeling sad right now, and I'm here for you.

I can see you're feeling really sad right now, and I'm so glad you're here to get help. This is a great platform where you'll meet lots of people who can help you feel better and answer your questions.

In the long river of our lives, we will always encounter some things, both good and bad. When bad things happen, we might exaggerate the extent of the bad things and put ourselves in a state of panic and anxiety.

I know it's tough, but try to accept what's happened.

Living in the present is a state of mind. It's a wonderful way to live! You have no regrets, no fears or anxieties. The past is over and the future has not yet happened. Focus your breathing, your spirit and your thoughts on the present you. So calm down, take a pen and paper and make a list of the things you want to do now.

If you have any regrets about the past, don't worry! Just go and try to make amends. And if you've done something wrong, just apologize. That way, you'll be able to move on from the past.

Don't worry about the future! It hasn't happened yet. But you can write it down and plan what you want to do.

I really hope this helps. You've got this! Don't worry, what's done is done. It's no big deal. Those who love you will always love you, and those who don't, won't.

Don't worry about what other people think. What matters is how you see it. So let's cheer up together! The future is bright!

Hello, landlord. From your description, I can tell you're currently very confused and anxious. You're feeling these emotions because you have a strong emotional awareness.

This is your strength. It also makes you very sensitive to your emotions. You can easily feel happiness, but also negative emotions. In response to the confusion you have raised, I will now present the following aspects, which I am confident will help you.

First, accept your emotions.

The host feels it, the pain and anxiety. These are all things that everyone experiences during the growth process of life. Others may experience the pressure of a mortgage, the pain of finding a job, the pain of illness, and the death of loved ones.

The original poster is suffering because of being single and some experiences. This is normal.

As human beings with seven emotions and six desires, we cannot and should not be emotionless. We embrace negative emotions and accept them because they remind us that we value and care about this matter very much.

This is your anxiety and painful emotions. You want to watch an illusory shadow, and it will stay by your side.

Second, accept your own experiences.

The original poster mentioned that they are single and unable to let go of some things from the past. Being single is a state, as is having a partner. It is fluid and ever-changing. People are indeed prone to anxiety about uncertainty, but I strongly believe you have no problem being single. You just don't allow yourself to be single. You can allow yourself to eat your favorite food and wear your favorite clothes, so why not allow yourself to be single?

First, accept that being single is a state of being, and there is no right or wrong. Past experiences may have a profound impact on you, but they are in the past. You are living your life to the fullest, and you are in control of your future. Don't let the past hold you back.

You are always the strongest.

Third, adjust your mindset and return to peace.

The host's inner turmoil has undoubtedly subsided. We must learn to coexist with our emotions. They will arise from time to time, so calmly look at them and tell yourself, "I know, pain and anxiety are by my side, but they can't hurt me. I can change my perspective and solve problems."

Exercise makes my heart beat faster and my blood flow faster, which gives me a sense of pleasure. Cooking makes me focus on letting go and creates a sense of peace. So, host, I want to know what you do to calm yourself and feel a sense of pleasure.

Think about it. Is shopping on your mind? Are you thinking about going to the supermarket?

Meet up with friends or talk to us.

Cry your heart out, then laugh at yourself.

The host will learn to embrace and accept himself, find inner peace and coexistence with negative emotions, and learn to intentionally shift his focus and mood. He will slowly find himself again and take control of his life.

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. I'm here to listen to you with warmth and compassion.

Let me give you a warm hug. I don't know what you've been through or what kind of blows and harm you've suffered, but I feel your intense self-blame, which has led to self-denial and an inability to accept yourself.

It's totally normal to feel this way when you're still single. It can be hard to see hope when you're in this situation. Have you ever wondered if you did something wrong, missed something, or got hurt in a relationship?

Life is an irresistible forward motion, just like an electrocardiogram. If a person has had nothing but good fortune, it means that they are "dead."

Let's take a moment to think about self-blame.

Self-blame is really tough. It's feeling pain because of your own mistakes, which have caused irreversible consequences. It's focusing on the past. Self-blame is a kind of self-hatred. It's hating yourself for being incompetent, not good enough, or inferior to others.

There are two main reasons why we might blame ourselves. Sometimes, our actions can hurt others or even ourselves, and we can end up feeling really bad about it.

The second type is when you compare yourself to others and feel inferior, or when you are hurt by others but are unable to attack them back. It's okay to feel this way! It's also okay to hate yourself.

It doesn't matter what kind it is, the root of self-blame is that we can't accept what's happening in the moment. We're stuck in this mind loop of what "should be" and what "has been." It's a vicious cycle that can really take a toll on us. Many of life's challenges stem from this inner struggle.

The past is the past, my friend. Only by embracing the present can we create a brighter future. So, when you're feeling down on yourself, remember that it's not helpful.

Let me show you how you can change self-blame to responsibility.

Responsibility is all about self-affirmation and self-attribution.

"I am the source of everything." What have I learned from this (something that happened in the past) and how can I avoid something similar from happening again?

What can I do to get the result I want? When you do that, your focus goes back to the present or the future.

You know, being able to respond is being responsible. And the great thing is, the ability to respond to situations is an infinite ability! All you have to do is take responsibility.

The wonderful thing about taking on more responsibility is that it can help you to see that life has so much more to offer than you ever realised!

Once you choose to take more responsibility, something wonderful happens! Your inner being will be restructured in a very different way, and you will enter into ever higher levels within. You will gain freedom!

Being responsible is all about taking back the initiative, regaining control of your life, and becoming the master of your own destiny.

I really hope this has been helpful for you. And I just want to say, I love you and I love the world too! ?

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to keep talking with you one-on-one!

You say you're sad about who you are right now. You can't accept yourself, your past experiences, or your single status. You regret the past and worry about the future. You feel uncomfortable and don't know what to do.

You have a lot of emotions, and they make you feel uncomfortable, throw you into confusion, and make you unsure of what to do.

There is a formula: Emotion = feeling + perception. The three most common emotions are depression, fear, and anxiety. Depression is the bad feeling you get from past experiences, combined with your bad perception of this past.

Anxiety is the feeling of apprehension about something that has not yet happened, combined with the knowledge that you are worried about the future. Fear is the feeling of dread about something that is happening right now, combined with the knowledge that you are afraid.

Knowing this formula, you must ask yourself: how can you change? We say that feelings cannot be changed. What you can do is accept and respect your feelings.

You have to ask yourself, are you really that bad? Are there no advantages at all?

Write about your top ten strengths. Past experiences don't have to be bad.

There are advantages. Past experiences have taught you to learn from your mistakes, identify your needs, and respect your feelings.

Is being single necessarily bad? Absolutely not. In fact, there are many advantages.

For example, being single allows you to devote more time to your career and to yourself. Once your career is on track, you will have more confidence, and you will no longer be afraid of being single.

The future is not always bad. If you work hard and do your best, you will be rewarded for your efforts.

You will not fall into depression or anxiety when you change these perceptions, work hard to act on them, and slowly accept yourself and reality in practical actions.

You've got this! I'm rooting for you!

Good morning,

It might be helpful to remember that problems are here to help us grow.

It can be challenging to discern between contradictions because it's often difficult to listen to our inner voice. Our minds often combine illogical information to tell us, "Something is wrong with me, I need to change, or I will be embarrassed." However, is that really the case?

It might be surprising to learn that giving a speech from a simple script is not as daunting as it seems. However, we often imagine the worst-case scenario, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and a loss of energy. This can ultimately result in a defeatist mindset, where we let fear take over. Looking back on my experiences as a working adult, I realise that the subconscious mind often knows best. It knows that the problem is no longer a significant issue.

It would seem that if self-doubt does not lead to breakthrough thinking and growth, there is a question to be answered as to why we persist in questioning and doubting ourselves, rather than using a positive mindset to effect change by looking at the same problem in a different way.

In the same way that the protagonists of Hayao Miyazaki's anime movies become unforgettable childhood memories, the reason is that they are children who can show courage and acceptance towards life. This is the power of innocence, and it is also the power that is waiting to be released from the bottom of your heart.

If you ever feel that your experiences might overwhelm you and prevent you from recognizing your own worth, you can still take action and engage in activities that truly make you feel powerful and happy. You may find that the world is not limited by our subjective understanding. It is vast enough to accommodate all forms of unhappiness and nurture everyone's aspirations, regardless of your past experiences.

It would be beneficial to exercise regularly, maintain a regular routine, and gain a sense of control over your life.

People who are always aware of the negative energy in life may unintentionally give away their own energy because they are distracted and unable to care for their inner selves. Even when they pay attention to their bodies and minds, they may unknowingly suppress and attack others. The reason may be that they are unable to perceive the positive energy in life. When your life is balanced and your pace of life is healthy, you may feel a sense of control over your life and be able to focus on more things that make you feel empowered.

2. It may be helpful to consider developing healthy interests and hobbies.

If the questioner is young, it might be helpful to start by cultivating a hobby to change the living environment around you. This is because energy flows. When you transform and enhance your invisible emotional energy, you are actually participating in life, gaining energy from it, and at the same time giving energy. This can help to unblock emotional blockages. For example, you might like to consider cultivating a plant, accompanying the growth of a life, and you can see the value of life. You can also get energized and feel the changes of the day through fitness and waking up early to experience the daily sunrise and sunset.

It could be said that the way we connect with the world reflects our inner energy.

You might consider learning mindfulness and meditation exercises.

Mindfulness and meditation practices have the potential to help us settle our minds in the present moment, listen to the voices of the body and mind, perceive emotions, and regain the self-connection lost in a busy and complicated living environment. They may also help us relieve anxiety and stress in life and gain a sense of inner balance. If you feel too much irritability, you might find it helpful to try mindfulness and meditation practices.

I wish you the best.

From your brief remarks, it appears that you are aware of the unspoken aspects of yourself, the bodily sensations that are not articulated, and the pervasive feelings of helplessness. I perceive that you are genuinely distressed and helpless, seeking to escape from this loneliness, anxiety, and self-blame for your past.

There is a category of people in the world called highly sensitive people. If you experience feelings of sadness, regret, worry about the future, or even physical or mental discomfort, it is likely that you are also a member of this category.

Individuals with high sensitivity may experience emotional distress in response to seemingly innocuous remarks or actions. They may also exhibit sadness or discomfort when in the presence of friends due to perceived insensitivity or inappropriate humor.

They are acutely aware of their surroundings, as if they are constantly on the defensive. However, they do not seek this heightened state of alertness; they feel drained and even believe they are unwell. Most importantly, they share one common trait: they can reflect on how they interacted with others and managed their circumstances in the past, and how others perceived them. They can see that they were misguided.

Indeed, sensitivity is a viable and beneficial way of life.

As Carl Jung, a renowned psychologist, observed, high sensitivity can significantly enhance one's personality traits. However, its benefits may become apparent only when confronted with challenging or unusual circumstances. These external factors can impede our ability to think clearly and rationally. It is, therefore, illogical to categorize high sensitivity as a pathological trait.

If that were the case, it would mean that 25% of the world's population would be considered pathological.

Furthermore, sensitivity is a valuable asset.

It would be inaccurate to suggest that being sensitive is a negative trait, particularly for those who are highly sensitive and therefore more susceptible.

While many individuals may seek to overcome this trait and aspire to be perceived as "normal," the advantages inherent to one's traits can be invaluable in the workplace and beyond when leveraged effectively.

In "High Sensitivity is a Gift," Irs Sandor offers the following advice: "Stop internal conflict, learn to accept and love yourself."

There is no need to live up to other people's expectations. It is possible to take a different look at the world and yourself, make the most of what you have, and create a brand new life. This is a lifestyle choice. Our emotions are determined by our perceptions.

Rather than allowing emotions to control you, you can take the initiative to regulate them, thereby solving many problems.

I am aware that I cannot provide comprehensive assistance through a brief written communication. However, I recommend that you engage the services of a qualified listener or counselor on our Yixinli platform to support you on this transformative journey of self-reinvention.

I am confident that with the support of professionals and your own proactive and deliberate practice, you can overcome past challenges and create a bright and beautiful future.

Let's celebrate together!

Hello, questioner.

I want to know what happened that made you feel so sad, to the point of feeling unable to accept yourself.

I'm sending you a hug through time and space. Let me be clear: in real life, many people are experiencing the same emotions you're feeling right now. When our inner energy is low, we can look at what triggered this emotion in you.

I advise you to seek professional psychological counseling if you can.

You must recognize your unseen needs.

▫️Look back, and you'll find things you regret or are sorry for. But if you calm down and look at the situation from the perspective of caring for yourself, you'll see you made the best choices possible at each historical period. You feel unable to let go because you haven't seen or accepted your innermost needs.

▫️There is no good or bad in needs. Needs must be met and responded to. What makes us feel ashamed and unable to face and accept is often the improper ways and methods we use to respond to and satisfy our inner needs. As long as we can find better and more appropriate ways and methods to respond to our needs, our life energy will be better stimulated.

I am a big brain hole. The world and I love you. Thanks for reading!