I am often afraid of sleeping alone at night. What can I do to feel better?

Dear Question Asker, I am grateful for the opportunity to respond to your inquiry.

From the questioner's own account, it is evident that the inability to sleep alone is a significant source of distress and inconvenience.

The following analysis is offered in the hope of providing assistance to the questioner.

1. Identify the source of the fear.

From the subject's account, it is evident that the subject experiences a lack of security when sleeping alone, accompanied by involuntary imaginations of frightening content. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether this phenomenon occurs exclusively during sleep, or whether it manifests in other contexts where there is a lack of light.

If the questioner does not experience fear when alone in the dark, but only when asleep, has the questioner ever observed a distinction between these two states?

It is therefore pertinent to inquire as to why sleep evokes such a feeling of fear. When the subject was a child, did an incident occur that was particularly impressive, or even frightening, while they were asleep or before they went to sleep? When this incident entered the subject's subconscious as they fell asleep, it caused them to be unable to sleep alone.

If the questioner can recall this incident independently, it may be possible to alleviate and eventually resolve the situation in which the questioner is unable to fall asleep independently.

2. Diagnosis and Treatment of Sleep Disorders

There are numerous potential causes for sleep disorders. One such disorder is "ghost bed-pressing," which may result from a range of factors, including physiological, psychological, or disease-related causes, as well as drug reactions.

In light of the aforementioned factors, it is this author's recommendation that the questioner seek medical attention at a qualified medical facility. Only through a comprehensive diagnostic evaluation can the underlying cause of the sleep disorder be identified, thus enabling targeted treatment.

3. It is important to pay attention to one's sleep rhythm.

In the event that the questioner experiences disturbances in their sleep patterns, it is recommended that they pay attention to avoid similar influences, adhere to a consistent sleep schedule, and refrain from engaging in activities that may disrupt their sleep. Prior to bedtime, it is advisable to engage in relaxing activities such as reading or listening to music, and to avoid watching movies or reading books that may trigger negative associations.

It is recommended that the subject go to bed at the same time every night in order to establish a sleep rhythm. It is advised that this routine be maintained consistently. In the event that the subject experiences the perception that sleeping alone may result in the emergence of distressing fantasies, it is suggested that they utilize auditory stimuli, such as white noise or light music, to facilitate the onset of sleep. This approach may prove effective in mitigating the influence of such associations.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to the questioner.

How old is the questioner now? From what I can see, the questioner's current situation is a continuation of his sleep condition when he was a child.

Even though it disappeared for a while because it "grew up," the questioner thought it was okay.

From what I can tell from the text, it seems like the questioner might be feeling some anxiety and insecurity. I'm not sure if these feelings are caused by others' actions or if they're a result of the questioner's own rich imagination.

"I was never afraid of sleeping alone as a child, but after experiencing a sleep paralysis (a bed-sharing ghost), I started to feel differently. I've been awakened several times at night recently." The anxiety and insecurity left in the body's memory from childhood, after a period of "safe" companionship, caused the questioner's body to relax its guard and turn off the "alarm."

Now that this situation has come up again, maybe something has happened to wake up this part of the body's memory. It could have been a random "sleep paralysis" that made the questioner unintentionally connect it with the experience of childhood and "amplify" it because the questioner was once so familiar with it. It's important to remember that the human brain is always looking for memories, relating them, and comparing them to process information.

When you "zoom in," it's as if the questioner's heart has returned to when she was a child. She can use the same methods from her childhood to help herself escape—turning on the lights and wrapping herself up tightly.

It's totally okay to tell yourself on a conscious level that you're not the same person you were as a child. You can even invite out the "goblins, aliens, ball lightning, pythons, etc." that you were afraid of as a child and see what they really look like! And if you can, try to have a conversation with them.

Maybe they're just some of your childhood playmates!

The text also feels that the questioner's imagination is quite rich, and the questioner can also use their own "imagination" to create a beam of light and a guardian to keep you company. Whenever you lie down to sleep, that beam of light and that guardian will automatically come out to protect you.

This method might seem a little childish, but it really works!

If you're looking for a little extra support, you can also seek help from a professional to help you work through any physical issues you may be experiencing in a professional relationship.

If all this is temporarily impossible, there's absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with the light on, as long as you're happy with it.

I really hope my reply has been helpful for you in some way. I'm sending you lots of love and best wishes!

Hello!

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and noticed that you're afraid of sleeping alone at night. You've also been open about your distress and actively sought help on the platform, which will help you understand yourself better and adjust.

Next, I'll share my observations and thoughts in the post, which might help you see things from a different angle.

1. Why do you think of monsters when you sleep?

In the posts where we saw that the original poster said they've been scared of sleeping alone since they were little, worrying about monsters, aliens, ball lightning, pythons, and so on at night, we can understand why they're scared.

I'm also curious: When you sleep, why do you think about these things?

But have you ever had any special experiences as a result of thinking about these things? It seems that these experiences have given us some insight into what might have caused it.

It doesn't have to be in line with the original poster, but it might be worth exploring this direction. If that's the case, we can look back to the past.

To help you heal that trauma, we can use this Q&A session to explore your own growth experiences.

2. An explanation of the ghost bed

In the original post, the author mentioned a bed that was apparently pressed by a ghost. I'm curious to know how they interpret this.

I believe the renowned psychologist Wu Zhihong has a video that addresses this. Naturally, this is just one perspective.

At its core, the bed-jumping ghost can be seen as a manifestation of those negative emotions (like negative energy and fear) that we've pushed out into the world.

These negative emotions and negative energy are very aggressive and destructive. That's why we're always worried that we'll be attacked and hurt by them.

Other psychology teachers have also explained the phenomenon of bed-jumping. Basically, it happens when we're awake and our consciousness can't control our body. So, even though we want to move in our consciousness, our body can't move.

So, the original poster might want to look at the so-called bed-jumping ghost from these two perspectives.

3. Try to distinguish between what's real and what's not.

What is imagination? It's what we think in our minds.

The poster might think of aliens, demons, or monsters trying to harm them. This is just their imagination.

And what is reality? Well, reality is that we are not hurt, right?

Even though we have a lot of fear,

We're not hurt, we're safe. This also means that our imagination isn't the same as reality, right?

So we have to differentiate between what's real and what's not. It's not something you can do overnight, though, because fear will make your emotional brain kick in while your logical brain shuts down.

So, we might want to try doing this exercise more often ourselves.

Take a moment to close your eyes and really feel your fear. Then, open your eyes after a while to check in with yourself. Remind yourself that you are safe in reality and that you are not hurt.

I hope this is helpful for the original poster.

I hope these are helpful and inspiring for you.

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

And you'll see your confessions and troubles. Poor sleep quality can seriously affect our daily lives. But there's good news! You can take control of your life and get the sleep you need to feel your best. For example, you'll feel well enough to study or work, you'll have more energy, you'll be more productive, and you'll think more quickly.

The questioner said that being afraid since childhood is common in our childhood. We see something on TV or in books, and then we get to imagine that these objects will really appear around us, especially when we are sleeping. This can also be said that when we come into contact with some more terrifying images, our parents do not give us a timely science popularization, explaining that some objects are not real and that some things will not appear easily.

I remember when I was a child, I would watch horror movies with my sister and brother. I don't know if they were afraid or not, but I was the same as the original poster that night: I dared only sleep with the covers pulled up, even if I was sweating, and I was afraid to let my hands and feet show, for fear that something would pull me away. Later, when I grew up, I knew that these things didn't exist in reality, so I wasn't as afraid anymore.

Let's dive into the reason for the fear!

The original poster said that this situation has been going on since they were little, but they didn't say how little. When we were little, adults would say how old we were and that we couldn't sleep with our parents anymore. If parents were adamant about letting their children sleep on their own, it would have a certain psychological impact on the child.

Children are perfectly capable of sleeping in separate rooms from their parents between the ages of 4 and 7. There's a great saying about children sleeping separately from their parents: "Separate beds at the age of 3, separate rooms at the age of 5." Every child is different, though, so it's important to take the actual situation into account. As long as you don't spoil your child and give him or her some time, he or she will be able to accept sleeping separately.

I think the questioner may have been sleeping separately from their parents at a young age, and when they saw those scary images, their parents didn't notice right away. You're not used to communicating with them, so you've got to find your own way to deal with this fear. You'll be able to relax and fall asleep when you're ready!

☀️ Seeing your inner needs

The questioner said that in this situation, if they slept in the same room as someone they knew, they would feel relieved. This is great! It means that someone they know can bring them a sense of security.

It's time to tune in to your inner needs! Your inner child is yearning for your attention, and it's so important to respond to their needs. I can see that you're trying to make up for your reluctance to be separated from sleeping when you were younger.

Analysis: The bed-sharing incident made you realize that you can conquer your fear!

The original poster has grown up and is no longer afraid of sleeping alone, which is great! However, a recent bed-sharing incident has made her afraid again, which is totally understandable. The fact that the original poster mentioned sleep paralysis shows that you have some understanding of this, which is fantastic! This situation occasionally occurs when we are too physically and mentally exhausted, when we are under stress, and when we are more anxious, which is totally normal.

When you're sleeping and really want to wake up, but you can't, and you can't move, what do you want to do? This may be the problem that is causing you stress and anxiety in reality. But you can solve it! All you have to do is identify and face it.

☀️ Method – Let yourself face it head on!

What are you afraid of in the dark, and what has returned from your dreams? You can turn on the light if you want to rest. Everyone has different habits, so you can adapt as long as you want. And that's great because it means you can find the solution that works for you!

Maybe what scared you as a kid isn't what scares you now. So after this fear in your sleep, what's the first solution that comes to your mind? The answer to this question could be the key to solving the problem!

1. Mindfulness meditation: I've come a long way since I first started listening to meditation. After taking a few classes with a teacher, I've gained a whole new understanding of meditation. It's not just about relaxing your mind, it's about observing your emotions and every part of your body, and listening to the analysis and answers they give you. When you can calm your mind, you'll see a huge improvement in the quality of your sleep!

2. Substitute for companionship: It's totally fine to sleep in the same room as a familiar person, but we all know that people can't always be there for us. So, why not try replacing them with other objects that you love? Think a doll, a night light, or some decorations. Make your room your own personal haven, filled with warmth and a sense of security.

3. Writing therapy: The questioner has been dealing with sleep issues since childhood, but there's hope! While the quality of sleep may not be perfect, there are ways to make it better. One way is through writing therapy. This involves writing down your fears and anxious feelings, then thinking about what's causing them. Then, write down the problem, look at it, ask yourself what you think, and see if you can look at it from another perspective. You might be surprised at what you discover! When you sort it out, you'll probably find that many problems will be solved.

I'm thrilled to recommend the book "Reconciliation with Oneself: How to Live a Transparent and Carefree Life" to the questioner. I hope my answer is helpful, and I wish you all the best!

Hello!

From your description, I can see the trouble you have in your life because you are afraid to sleep alone, and I can also feel your inner fear and anxiety. But don't worry! I'm here to help.

Maybe when you were younger, you had to sleep alone and it made you feel scared. That memory stuck with you! It's totally normal to be a little afraid of sleeping alone. But you can change that link between sleeping alone and scary things!

If you want to break this link, you're in luck because there are plenty of ways you can do it!

1. In a safe environment, such as when you are sleeping with someone you trust and know well, imagine the things that frighten you. You may then discover that those phantoms of the night have become just a few trees in the sunshine, and are not at all frightening. At this point, you can tell yourself that these things are just imagined by your mind and do not really exist. Then, let yourself remember the feelings you had at that moment, and try to re-create those feelings when you are sleeping alone. Let yourself believe in reality rather than fantasy.

After repeated practice, you'll be amazed at how your fear of sleeping alone will disappear!

2. Learn some relevant psychology or biology knowledge, understand the structure of the brain, as well as the scientific knowledge of memory and imagination. Avoid those absurd things about supernatural powers, stay away from unhealthy and violent games, and avoid those people with feudal superstitions. Let the positive energy of science occupy your mind!

3. Get a great night's sleep with a reasonable routine and a regular exercise regime!

A reasonable diet, regular work and rest, and moderate exercise are the three cornerstones of good health. And the great news is that you can easily achieve all of this! Focusing on these three areas, especially doing regular and progressive exercise every day, can cultivate a healthy body, improve sleep, and nourish our mind like the sun.

4. Try mindfulness meditation!

Mindfulness meditation is an amazing, controlled training that combines breathing and mindfulness to achieve the incredible effect of relaxing the body and mind. This kind of practice can reduce the judgment of current thoughts and turn attention to one's inner feelings, without focusing on anything in particular.

Exciting new research has revealed that different areas of the brain are involved at different stages of meditation. The great news is that mindfulness meditation is now a technique in psychological therapy that can effectively relieve anxiety and depression, and give people a stable and clear mind and calm emotions.

The great thing about positive meditation is that it's really simple to do. The tricky part is sticking with it long-term. If you're interested, I'd highly recommend giving it a go!

I'm thrilled to share that Hongyu's reply will surely help you! Thank you so much for your question!