I am self-conscious and timid. I want to change the situation, but how can I become confident? It's so hard.

Hello, question asker, I'm Wang Haimin.

You feel that feeling inferior seriously limits your daily social interactions and personal development, making your experiences bad and uncomfortable. The problem of feeling inferior often starts in childhood.

You feel that feeling inferior seriously affects how you interact with others and how you develop as a person, making your experiences unpleasant and uncomfortable. The problem of feeling inferior often starts in childhood.

It seems like your inferiority complex has been around for a while. You probably tried a lot of different ways to deal with it.

Low self-esteem is something you experience as an individual. It doesn't matter what others are like, if you feel inferior to them, you'll still feel inferior. Even if others think you're doing well and even if they envy you, if you feel bad about yourself, you'll still have a bad experience.

Low self-esteem is something you experience as an individual. It doesn't matter what others are like, if you feel inferior to them, you'll feel inferior. Even if others think you're doing well and even if they envy you, if you feel bad about yourself, you'll have a bad experience.

The root cause of low self-esteem is that you can't do what you want to do, your heart's desires are always unfulfilled, and you're dissatisfied with yourself. You're reluctant to express yourself in social situations and cater to others, which makes you feel unhappy.

The root cause of low self-esteem is that you can't do what you want to do, and your heart's desires can never be fulfilled. You're not comfortable expressing yourself in social situations and catering to others.

You're not happy with how you're performing.

There's a lot to be gained from understanding this fear. Take some time to reflect on what you're afraid of, when this fear started, and how it's developed over time.

As you work through this, you'll become more aware of yourself, which will help you think more clearly and feel more confident. This will help you face your fears head-on.

These days, feelings of inferiority are pretty strong, and they can really get in the way of your ability to think clearly. If you're looking to take the leap and express yourself, you might still need a little help from a professional.

In terms of getting things done, if you feel like you don't have the confidence to stick with a task until it's done, it shows that you have an internal standard for the outcome. Sometimes when we do things, we can't always think about what the result must be. Many things are about perseverance, and if you keep at it, you'll see a good result.

What do you think success looks like? What are you hoping to achieve when you do something?

If you set the bar too high, you might get discouraged and give up.

Today, there are successful models in all areas of life, as well as the ordinary and the mediocre. Success requires many factors.

Most of us are just ordinary folks.

Take a good look at what you want and what you expect from yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. As long as you keep trying, you'll be the best version of yourself.

Until the time comes when we feel we must implement a change, no one can assist us. We can only continue as we are.

My circumstances were comparable to yours at the time. It wasn't until I reached 35 that I began to see positive changes. I've undergone a significant transformation in a relatively short period, and I'm not even 39 yet. Despite not working as intensively as I once did, I don't feel discontented.

I hope that sharing a few details of my experience will be of some assistance to you.

At the age of 35, I had a child who was approximately four or five years old. I have no recollection of ever caring for him. Even during my pregnancy, my husband was primarily responsible for the necessary testing. My relationship with my family was severely strained, and I felt that divorce was imminent.

I have a limited number of relatives and friends, and when I visit them during the New Year and other holidays, it is a perfunctory exercise devoid of the joy of a reunion.

Furthermore, I have only superficial relationships with my colleagues at work. I am concerned that if I make a mistake when talking to them, they will view me negatively. I am able to complete some tasks at work, but when I encounter something I haven't done before, I worry about making mistakes.

I am unable to recall any other traumatic past experiences, but I feel as though I am insignificant. I have intermittently set goals to improve my situation, including reading books and quitting smoking. However, I am unable to maintain these changes for more than a month or two before reverting to my previous habits.

It appears that there is no motivation to maintain my current level of effort, and I rely entirely on impulse.

At the age of 35, I viewed a few episodes of a television program titled "All Is Well" and read the original novel from start to finish. I was immediately taken aback, as though each character in the story reflected a distinct aspect of my own life. I sensed that my past, present, and even future were all intertwined with the narrative, and that the story's conclusion might have significant implications for my own circumstances. After all, the characters in the story faced numerous challenges that my own family had not yet encountered.

At that time, I underwent a significant change in perspective. I came to believe that if others were experiencing difficulties and I was in a comparable situation, I would take action to improve the situation. I conducted extensive research on psychology and interpersonal relationships and enrolled in a course with a counselor.

After two or three months at university, a series of repetitions, and a period of greater difficulty than before, I was able to persevere and feel that things were improving. I was pleased to receive my certificate.

I am convinced that the status quo will never be restored. I am also reminded of a passage from "How Steel is Made": When reflecting on the past, it is important not to dwell on wasted time or inaction.

It is recommended that people live life to the fullest.

As a result, I am now able to look back on past difficulties without feeling psychological distress. I am also able to discuss these experiences with others in a natural manner. Furthermore, I have found that I am able to recall only a few of these challenging events.

This is how I underwent a change in my personal circumstances.

It is my view that the assistance of others is of limited value when a radical change is not yet required. When we reach a point where we are no longer able to cope, the decision to change will emerge from a place of genuine conviction.

If you believe that failure to change will result in a negative outcome, and that the necessity for change will become increasingly pressing in the future, you are likely to persevere with your efforts.

As the saying goes in psychology, stress is not always bad. When you overcome it, you can achieve remarkable growth.

Best wishes in becoming the person you aspire to be.

I used to have inferiority complexes too. I lacked confidence and let others control me. But I got better. Here are a few things that helped me.

1. Accept your imperfect self.

Inferiority complexes and timidity often come from feeling like you're not good enough. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. No one is perfect, and we must accept our imperfect selves. We must believe that someone will like us, even if we're imperfect.

People like you because you can help them. Believe that you are useful and unique.

2. Take the first step.

Sometimes, it's not the problem that holds us back, but our attitude towards it. If we freeze up out of fear, we'll never solve it. Only by taking the first step will we discover it's not as difficult as we thought.

Each attempt gives you a better view of the problem and more experience solving it.

3. Stop trying so hard and be yourself.

Magic Band 1 (abandon): I'm imperfect and I'm afraid to show myself. Armor 1 (strengthen): I'm imperfect, but I'm still unique.

Magic Band 2 (abandon): I'm afraid of making mistakes. Armor 2 (strengthen): Making mistakes is not that scary. You can always start again.

Mantra 3 (abandon): I give up halfway. I never get anything done. Mantra 3 (strengthen): I can persevere. I will succeed.

Good morning, My name is Bai Mayuzhu, a psychological counselor at Yixinli. I am pleased to have this opportunity to share some insights with you. It seems that you have identified some feelings of inferiority and a fear of interacting with others. This may manifest as a reluctance to express your true self and a tendency to accommodate others' expectations. This pattern of behavior may have its roots in your personal growth journey or in the dynamics of your family of origin. In either case, it's important to recognize that it will require time and professional guidance to make meaningful changes. However, there is no need to be overwhelmed.

By focusing on a few key points, you can achieve a significant impact on your change process. This immediate effect provides a clear benefit, making the process more manageable. What other options are there, apart from professional support services?

First, let's define low self-esteem. It is a state that humans are prone to, as there will always be individuals who are more knowledgeable or accomplished than oneself. Even if you are a genius, there will still be areas of knowledge that you do not possess. Therefore, it is not productive to eliminate low self-esteem or view it as a negative trait. Instead, it is important to recognize that many human characteristics have dual natures. For instance, you may feel inferior and socially anxious. However, throughout history, numerous renowned figures, including literary figures, painters, and scientists, have exhibited these characteristics while still achieving great things. Therefore, it is essential to understand that everything has a dual nature. The key is to view these traits in a positive light and utilize them to achieve your goals. Do you agree?

Secondly, you have mentioned experiencing social difficulties with other individuals. In addition to the information provided in my previous article, it is essential to accept these traits and understand one more thing. What happens if you simply be yourself? What are you afraid of if you just be yourself? What is different about you on an internal level that makes you feel different from others? How do you feel about it? Can you accept that you are different from others? This may require a systematic approach to exercising your cognitive model. If so, it means that you can have a process of awareness and reflection. You can think about the above and following questions: If you are different from others, will the sky fall?

Is this a universal phenomenon? If an individual's actions and attributes align with those of the general population, can they still be considered distinct from the norm?

Should you require assistance or guidance, please do not hesitate to contact me via private message. I am available to assist you at any time.

3. I believe you have been focusing on your weaknesses, looking for areas where you are less competent than others. Have you considered taking the time to identify your strengths? Everyone has both strengths and weaknesses. No one is perfect, and no one is completely one-dimensional.

Given that disadvantages and advantages can coexist, it would seem logical to conclude that they can coexist in any given situation.

Fourth: Prioritize other more meaningful tasks, continuously enhance your skills, set achievable goals, and accomplish them in a systematic manner. Setting and achieving goals does not have to be challenging. For instance, I read ten pages of a book today, undertook a significant cleaning of my home tomorrow, and plan to paint a picture the day after tomorrow. These small achievements will gradually add up, enhancing your sense of self-worth.

5: Pay attention to your inner feelings. This requires cultivating self-awareness and a sense of control over your life. One method of doing so is to record these feelings in a small notebook daily. This notebook can be used to record what happened to you that day, your opinion on any given matter, your thoughts at the time, and any negative emotions you may have experienced. If such emotions arise, you can then attempt to find a positive thought to replace it. The same process can be used with diaries. In fact, keeping a diary is an excellent way to process and organize your thoughts. The human brain has a limited operating capacity, and it is often prone to self-deception. By writing down your thoughts and replacing negative ones with positive ideas, you can develop a more accurate and constructive way of thinking.

I hope the above is helpful to you. Given the limitations of an answer, I encourage you to draw your own conclusions, apply them in practice, and gradually integrate them into your personal philosophy. There is no need to rush; you are welcome to contact me at any time should you require assistance. Thank you for your trust, and I wish you success.

Hello, question asker! I really hope my answer is helpful.

You are deeply affected by inferiority, which presents an opportunity for growth and improvement in your work, life, and interpersonal relationships. You have also seriously considered that you cannot persevere in doing things and always give up halfway. Faced with the fact that you have achieved nothing in middle age, you feel anxious and uneasy, and you really hope to find a "key" that can solve the current situation.

When it comes to low self-esteem, we tend to associate it with self-confidence. And it's true! If you become confident, you can solve all the problems you face. But there's more to it than that. Self-confidence is a state, but your own abilities also need to be improved.

For example, you can start by planning your career, learning how to interact with people, and accepting yourself as an ordinary person—and you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel!

The good news is that you can change your current situation! You just need to focus on a few key areas: interpersonal relationships, career planning, execution, goal setting, and so on. These all require more time to sort yourself out, but once you've established self-confidence, you'll be able to develop them in a positive direction.

Ready to make a change? Start by reading "The Courage to Be Disliked." It'll show you that inferiority is not an absolute sin. In fact, people with inferiority complexes also have a strong desire to surpass themselves!

You can start by doing some career planning for the next 3-5 years. Identify the gap between what you want and your current abilities, and then set some goals and action strategies to close that gap! Persevere, and you'll be amazed at what you can achieve.

Second, you can try to express your inner thoughts in the form of text or video. Sometimes our logical expression ability needs to be exercised, and not everyone can speak eloquently. But you can! You can also watch debate competitions, which are great for exercising your oral expression and logical ability.

We want to pursue the life we want, and this is a marathon, not a sprint. It requires our sustained, constant commitment and dedication, and it's worth it! You may not see any results in the early stages of perseverance, but if you can get through this stage, you'll be amazed at what you can achieve.

You've got this! Slow and steady wins the race. You are 33 years old now, and when you look back at yourself at 33, you may find that your current predicament is no longer a shackle holding you back, but rather a source of resources and energy. You've got this! Good luck!

Hello, question asker! I am Jia Ao, and I'm here to help.

You have clearly opened up to this platform and shared your concerns. It's evident that your personality is a source of distress for you. You admit to feeling inferior and timid, and you also acknowledge your social anxiety in interpersonal interactions. You are afraid to express yourself authentically and lack the confidence to do so. You are constantly catering to others, and these deficiencies have significantly impacted your life. You are unsure of how to address these issues.

From your description, I can tell you are deeply troubled by this problem. I'm not sure what your original family was like, but you seem to have a lot of self-doubt. Did something bad happen to you in the past?

Or have you been hurt before?

I am self-conscious and timid, and I dare not express myself. I need to know what I should do.

In response to your question, I will help you analyze and sort it out.

1. Accept yourself as you are.

Social phobia, low self-esteem, and poor expression are characteristics of introversion. No matter what harm your original family has caused you, you must accept your own good and bad points, face yourself, and realize that everyone has shortcomings and strengths. Reconcile with your past self and walk away from the influence of your original family.

You don't have to feel troubled by these personality flaws. Accept yourself, and don't force yourself to talk to others. Be a good listener. Listen to what others have to say, and look them in the eye while you do so. This will help you connect with others emotionally.

2. [Boost your self-confidence constantly]

Boost your self-confidence to overcome inferiority. You're timid in interpersonal interactions and afraid to express yourself because you lack self-confidence. List your strengths and past achievements, find your bright spots, and stop feeling that you are not good at anything. Don't negate everything about yourself before anything has happened.

Do what you're good at. Boost your self-confidence and reduce your inferiority complex. Constantly improve yourself through learning and exercise. Maintain a strong desire to learn and a motivated attitude. Work hard to improve your abilities in all areas. The only thing that really matters is your own self-belief. Be confident. Be fearless. Express yourself. Fight for everything you want.

3. [Strengthen your inner self]

Introverts with low self-esteem tend to fall into mental depletion. They lack the psychological resilience to cope with life's challenges. When something happens, they start to mentally deplete themselves. They have a lot of internal drama, and the more they think about it, the more confused they become. As a result, they can't do anything well and fall into a vicious cycle.

Strengthen your inner self. Listen to more psychology courses, read more psychology books, constantly strengthen your psychological endurance, try to do something to distract yourself, improve your psychological state, and adjust your emotions in time. A good attitude makes you physically and mentally healthy, and you can face problems in all aspects in the best state. Believe in yourself. You can do it.

You say you've achieved nothing so far, but that's just a negative and pessimistic way of thinking. It's temporary, and it will pass. You just need to pick yourself up, think more about the good things, and look on the bright side. Things will definitely get better and better.

I'm certain my answer will help. The world and I love you ♥

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can tell you're experiencing a lot of anxiety, fear, and unease. But I also see your great awareness and courage to face your problems head-on, which is really impressive!

You're on the path to change. It takes courage to come here and ask questions in a positive way, but you're willing to face your negative emotions head-on. As the saying goes in "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist," "Life heals what is willing to be healed."

Tell me what happened to make you feel this way. Did you feel this way before?

Tell me, what scenarios do you find yourself in? And what do you do? Who are you with?

Tell me, is this feeling indirect, or does it occur often?

What kind of strength supports you? How do you face it bravely when you are so uncomfortable?

I don't know your specific situation, but I can tell you with certainty that everyone has their own inferiority complex. It may stem from our family, education, or environment, or something we have experienced.

I understand how you feel because I was in the same situation before this year. I'm 33 years old and I haven't achieved my dreams. I'm going to figure it out.

I really understand how you feel.

You are aware of your emotions. You are not confident, socially anxious, afraid to express your opinions, unable to persevere, and not satisfied with your situation. Is that right?

Let me be clear: it's okay to feel dissatisfied with the status quo and to feel limited by the age of 33. I have a lot of negative emotions and anxiety, and I'm here to tell you that it's normal. We have no confidence because we feel insecure, and we have no strength. That's why, on the road to change, we always stay at the level of thinking, rather than doing.

Let me be clear: we cannot change others. If we are not willing to change, only we ourselves can change.

I want you to imagine what your ideal life situation would look like. Then I want you to think about what you would do to achieve it.

If you achieve your ideal state, you will be different from now on. People will notice your change.

I don't know your specific situation, but I'm going to give you some advice that will help you get rid of negative emotions, boost your confidence, and move forward bravely.

First, adjust your mindset and enhance your inner strength.

When you feel like this, you've encountered something you cannot overcome on your own. You need to adjust your mentality so you have the strength to enhance your inner strength and never lose the courage to take the first step to change. You can do this.

Second, stop labeling yourself and start using positive mental suggestions.

We always blame ourselves and give ourselves confusing labels when things happen. But is this labeling behavior a true feeling or just the way things are? Everyone has emotions, but we shouldn't label ourselves. Your labeling behavior is a kind of negative hypnosis. If you want to change, you should stop labeling yourself and use your own mental suggestions to create a good hypnosis environment for yourself. I can do it myself because I'm not afraid. As long as I don't give up, everything will get better and better. We can change for the better by adjusting our mentality and using positive mental suggestions to feel hopeful and empowered. Do you agree with what I've said?

Then, learn to trust yourself. It will happen over time.

From your description, it's clear you're blaming yourself and dissatisfied. You know you don't believe in yourself, so you need to learn to believe in yourself if you want to change. There's a saying in psychology: if you pretend, it will come true. Lack of self-confidence is an example. Many people are unaware of it, but some walk with their heads held high. You can do the same. This isn't a bad thing. In the process of pretending, we form a fog in our muscle memory and gradually develop a habit.

Once you develop a good habit, you will feel the changes in yourself and be proud of your transformation.

Next, find a hobby to boost your self-confidence.

You need to boost your confidence. When you lack confidence, you lack strength and courage. You can't persevere with anything. You are still not confident. You don't know how to communicate with people. You need to work on this.

Improve yourself by finding your own interests and hobbies. When you like something, you're more focused, work harder to learn it, and strive to achieve a sense of accomplishment. This will help improve your self-confidence.

I'll tell you a story. I used to be just like you. I was particularly anxious when I was 20 or 30 years old. Then I became interested in psychology. Hypnosis was all the rage at the time, so I studied it. I didn't really get anywhere with it, but when I finally did manage to hypnotize someone, I suddenly felt so happy. It was the first time in my life that I had laughed so happily, and I spoke so bravely for the first time on a podium, and it was so natural. After I came back from class, I got along with other people more easily.

You must learn to release negative emotions.

Everyone has emotions. It's how we deal with them that matters. If we let negative emotions build up inside us for a long time, they will harm our body and mind. We must get rid of them in time.

The best way to do this is through exercise, which produces the feel-good hormone dopamine. When I was 20, my anxiety also gradually improved through exercise. I'm not perfect now, but I'm much better than before!

Finally, seek external resources.

I strongly believe that this is particularly useful for us. When we are unable to regulate our emotions, we can and should seek support resources, that is, seek help from professional psychological counselors. They will use professional psychological techniques to help us understand the root causes of our emotions, give us strength, and create an environment that is more accepting, so that we can grow with strength in this environment. Of course, you can also take psychology courses, and you can also be healed in the learning process.

Finally, I want to tell you, don't be afraid, don't panic. I'm the same age as you, and our situations are more or less the same, right? I haven't given up. I've been looking for a breakthrough. I will make it, and you will too. You have to take action. Only by taking action will you make a difference.

Greetings,

It is important to acknowledge and accept the feelings of confusion, helplessness, and a desire for support and understanding that may arise in this process.

1. What are the origins of low self-esteem?

The questioner mentioned social phobia and appeared to experience a sense of powerlessness in social interactions. In this phenomenon, a conclusion has been drawn by mainstream social consciousness, namely that the individual belongs to the group of people with low self-esteem.

A historical analysis reveals that every individual possesses inherent shortcomings that can be compared to others. Conversely, it is evident that some possess greater potential and charisma than those who have accumulated significant material wealth. It can be argued that the development of low self-esteem is a universal phenomenon.

In light of these considerations, it seems pertinent to inquire as to the underlying causes of this sense of inferiority and to examine the ways in which this perception is shaped by external influences. The objective here is to facilitate a process of discernment and clarification.

2. The creation of a happy and warm environment is contingent upon the individual.

Subsequently, following the identification of the topic of low self-esteem and a preliminary examination thereof, an effort is made to disassociate the concept of low self-esteem from its associated label and to address the phenomenon of "lack of assertiveness, fear of expression, and catering to others" on its own terms.

In an environment that is characterized by warmth and friendliness, an individual will feel more comfortable expressing themselves without the fear of causing distress to others or of trying to gain their approval. When one is true to oneself, it becomes possible to form friendships without resorting to the calculation of interests. In such an environment, the self, others, and the relationship exist in a state of authentic presence.

It is therefore imperative that you ascertain the veracity of your own self-perception.

It is imperative to cultivate one's strengths in order to identify and establish a supportive environment that aligns with one's needs and aspirations.

One must persevere in the face of adversity and not abandon one's efforts prematurely. It is imperative to work assiduously for one's own benefit and to cultivate one's abilities in order to identify and secure the most conducive environment.

Furthermore, when undertaking a task that one desires to complete, it is natural to desire recognition at specific points in the process. Similarly, when confronted with obstacles, it is only human to seek assistance and guidance.

Therefore, your decision to abandon the endeavor in question is likely attributable to a dearth of suitable companions with whom you could have continued your journey.

One may opt to confide in individuals with whom one has established a trusting relationship. It is not necessary to be overly concerned about inconveniencing others and one may choose to share one's feelings and thoughts.

At the age of 33, one has accumulated a certain degree of social experience and knowledge, which provides an optimal opportunity to embrace new insights and knowledge.

At the age of 33, it is advisable to overcome one's apprehension towards failure and repeated failure, and to embrace triumph the next time.

The age of 33 is an optimal time to resume one's journey and overcome obstacles.

At the age of 33, individuals may experience a fluctuating level of success and failure. This period presents an opportunity to align the perceived urgency of others with one's personal sense of urgency. It is not necessary to adhere to external expectations.