I am severely emotionally exhausted and suspect myself, wondering if I have done something wrong. What should I do?

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us your problem and get an answer. You ask, "I'm suffering from emotional depletion and self-doubt. I want to know what I've done wrong. What should I do?"

Your question is short, but it shows you're anxious. Let's hug first, and then we'll talk about this problem.

1. The problem

You ask, "I used to have a particularly good working relationship with my colleagues, but after they all left, I could clearly feel their alienation towards me. I often think about this and I know that I did nothing wrong, but I still blame myself for what I should do."

1⃣️, leaving the company

You notice a clear estrangement in the relationship with a colleague with whom you used to have a particularly good relationship after they left the company. You know that the estrangement is partly your fault.

2⃣, self-blame

You blame yourself for what you perceive to be your role in the change in the relationship. This causes you to obsess over what you did wrong, which is causing serious internal conflict.

3⃣️, here's what you need to do

You don't want to continue, and there's no better way to stop blaming yourself than coming to this platform to seek help and see how to get out of the predicament.

2. Identify the causes of alienation.

1⃣️ Alienation

Alienation

In psychology, alienation is a complex concept that includes both subjective and objective components. Alienation is the opposite of intimacy and warmth. It is a feeling of strangeness, indifference, and distance from others.

Aliolation is often used to describe the feeling of mutual relationships between cities and between people. It is like walking on the street, facing each other, but being strangers to each other, expressionless.

You feel alienated.

The alienation mentioned by the questioner is the feeling that your original good friend has become distant from you. This gives you a sense of loneliness, loss, anxiety, depression, or other feelings. This is a kind of alienation: a sense of social separation and loss of individuality.

2. Separation anxiety

Separation anxiety

Separation anxiety is an extreme anxiety response in children under the age of 6 when they are separated from people with whom they have a close relationship, especially their mothers. Both boys and girls can suffer from this condition, which is related to the child's personality weaknesses and excessive attachment to their mother.

If such children are not given the attention and treatment they deserve, they are likely to develop school phobia, test anxiety, or even acute or chronic anxiety disorders in adulthood. This will undoubtedly affect their physical and mental health.

The questioner has separation issues.

From the questioner's initial remarks, it is evident that they exhibit separation anxiety, which is likely influenced by their upbringing. When separating from their mother, they faced separation issues that were not adequately resolved at the time, leading to a tendency to depend on individuals with whom they have a relatively good relationship. After the colleague left, their dependence was diagnosed, but they did not consciously feel separated and were not yet accustomed to the need to re-sort and change the relationship. When the other person is no longer able to contact and emotionally connect at any time as before, the questioner will experience separation anxiety, feeling lonely and indifferent, and even having wild thoughts.

3⃣️, Characteristic reasons

The questioner stated that in response to the alienation of friends, they will look for the reason in themselves, which causes self-blame and internal conflict. This situation is related to the questioner's personality.

The OP is undoubtedly a people-pleaser with a melancholy personality.

People with a pleasing personality

A pleasing personality is one that blindly pleases others without paying attention to their own feelings. It's all about putting others first. I'm only safe and loved if I make others comfortable.

This means you pay more attention to what other people say and care about, while ignoring your true feelings.

People with a depressive personality

People with a melancholic personality have the following characteristics:

You are thoughtful, highly sensitive, idealistic, and in pursuit of truth, goodness, and beauty.

You have many strengths, including being sensitive and perceptive, loyal and reliable, and talented and insightful.

Advantages: Being stubborn, indecisive, self-centered, pessimistic, and passive.

The questioner has a character trait of trying to please others. When they encounter a problem, they will blindly look for the reason in themselves, rather than thinking about the cause from other perspectives. They are also very sensitive to changes in their friends' attitudes towards them. This leads to them becoming entangled in a dilemma and starting to deplete their own energy.

These are the results of your character.

3. What to do

We are going to figure out what to do.

1. Diversified thinking

Pluralistic thinking is the key to understanding the world.

Diversity thinking—also known as pluralistic thinking—is the antithesis of absolutism. It is a fundamental approach to understanding the world. It emphasizes a comprehensive, multifaceted examination of changes and developments in things, encompassing a multitude of aspects, angles, factors, and variables. It is an inclusive, systematic, and pluralistic methodology.

A diverse mindset allows us to think, analyze, and solve problems from different perspectives when faced with complex things and interpersonal relationship issues. This improves our decision-making ability and creativity.

Application

The questioner needs to understand why her friends have distanced themselves from her. It's likely because of work commitments that they have no time to pay attention to their previous friendships. It's not intentional. She needs to develop new relationships and temporarily put aside her past friendships.

We must consider this from multiple perspectives and gain a deeper understanding.

2⃣️, Understanding relationships

Friendship is a relationship based on mutual understanding, respect, and deep affection. It is usually built on shared interests, values, and life experiences.

Friendship is a relationship based on mutual understanding, respect, and deep affection. It is built on shared interests, values, and life experiences.

Friends support each other, share happiness and sorrow, and help each other in times of difficulty.

Understand friendships.

A truly good friendship is built on mutual honesty, understanding, and support. There should be no suspicion or self-doubt. You can be good friends with your colleagues because you have enough trust and understanding for that.

She isn't distancing herself from you because of anything you did. She has a new relationship that requires too much of her time to maintain and develop. If you understand others, you'll let go of self-blame and unnecessary worries. You won't be anxious about it.

3⃣️, resolving separation issues

It is crucial to understand sensitivity.

The questioner is very sensitive, which is normal. It's a good thing. It shows how much we value our friends and reminds us to pay attention to our friendships and stay in touch.

At the same time, the questioner's introduction revealed that they still have unresolved issues affecting their mood. This is a clear reminder to resolve the impact of childhood separation issues.

We must understand sensitive personalities correctly. Being overly sensitive causes internal conflict. Conversely, being sensitive helps us identify and solve our own problems.

It is a good thing for us.

Let's solve the separation issues.

The questioner needs to address the alienation in the friendship and the separation issue. They also need to work on their attachment issues.

The root cause is that the original poster lacks a sense of security, which prevents them from being mentally independent.

We can let ourselves experience the power of self-love and independence by loving, caring for, and trusting ourselves and meeting our own needs. We can still get by well without others and give ourselves enough security.

We will not feel inferior, blame ourselves, or become anxious because others have distanced themselves from us.

Questioner, giving someone a rose leaves a sweet smell behind. If we take a proper view of caring for and understanding others, we will not experience internal conflict. There's no question about it: loving yourself and being an independent individual allows you to separate from anxiety issues and anxiety-based attachment relationships and be true to yourself.

I wish the questioner a happy life!

My dear friend, I empathize with your situation. It can be perplexing and disconcerting to suddenly find yourself estranged from a close colleague. In the course of our lives, we encounter a diverse range of individuals. Some are like shooting stars, radiant and transient, while others are like stars, shining brightly for a prolonged period.

However, when these once-intimate relationships suddenly become distant, we often feel confused and lost. This emotional fluctuation is akin to the autumn leaves, silent but touching.

It is not uncommon for interpersonal relationships to evolve and change over time. The initial beauty of a relationship may evolve beyond recognition for various reasons.

In the workplace, changes in interpersonal relationships are not uncommon. It is not always the case that these changes reflect our personal value or what we may have done wrong. People may change their behavior for various reasons, including the needs of their personal career development, changes in their life stage, and even their own psychological state.

It is not always the case that changes in relationships are directly related to our own behaviour.

It is worth noting that changes in relationships can sometimes trigger our attachment system, which is an instinctive response designed to maintain social connections and emotional support. When this connection suddenly changes, our brain may try to find a reason to restore a sense of security.

This process of internal conflict is, in fact, an expression of our attempts to gain a deeper understanding of the situation and to identify ways to adapt to it.

In facing such changes, it would be beneficial to take some time to reflect on ourselves. This could involve examining our behavior and attitudes to identify potential areas for improvement.

It would also be beneficial to consider what this relationship means to us, what we have learned from it, and what we really need.

It is often the case that communication is the key to solving problems. If a small misunderstanding is not communicated in a timely manner, it can potentially develop into an irreparable rift.

It would be beneficial for us to express our thoughts and feelings and try to communicate with these colleagues. Sometimes, direct communication can help clarify misunderstandings and may restore some connection.

Even if the outcome differs from what you had hoped for, you can still gain valuable insights that will help you better understand what happened.

It might also be helpful to consider the situation from another perspective. While losing a close colleague can be painful, it can also be seen as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.

You may find it helpful to use this opportunity to explore your feelings and understand your needs and expectations in relationships. This could be a process of self-growth that could help you better understand yourself and how to communicate and express yourself better in future relationships.

It is natural to feel sad and helpless in the face of change. However, this is also a necessary path to growth. We must learn to let go of the past, embrace the present, and look to the future.

By constantly learning and adapting, we can become stronger and more mature. It is also important to remember to take care of yourself.

It would be beneficial to have a support system in place, whether it be friends, family, or a professional counselor. They can provide the necessary support and guidance to help you get through this difficult time.

It would be beneficial for us to learn to adjust our mindset and maintain inner peace and tranquility. We could consider doing things we enjoy, such as reading, exercising, and traveling, as a way of relaxing and improving ourselves.

You might consider joining a new social circle, joining an interest group, or volunteering. These are all excellent ways to build new relationships. It's always beneficial to keep an open mind and be willing to accept new people and experiences, as it helps us adapt to change and move forward.

Change is a natural part of life, and adapting to change is an essential part of our personal growth. While change may bring uncertainty, it also provides valuable opportunities for growth and development.

In life, we will undoubtedly face challenges and difficulties. However, with resilience and courage, we can overcome these obstacles and reach our goals.

It's totally normal for relationships at work to change. Sometimes, the friendship and understanding you had with a colleague can shift over time or when they move on. It can be tough to accept, but it's important to remember that change is a natural part of life.

But, if we look at the situation from another angle, we might just find some surprising insights!

First, let's think of our relationships with colleagues as a journey. Each colleague is like a passer-by you meet along the way. Some will stick around for a long time, while others may only stay for a short while.

When they choose to leave, it's important to remember to be grateful for all the wonderful encounters and shared experiences, rather than feeling frustrated by the separation and the resulting alienation. Just like traveling, at different stages of life we will meet all kinds of people, and every encounter is an opportunity to learn and grow!

Second, think about how complex and diverse interpersonal relationships can be. We're all unique individuals with our own thoughts, feelings, and values.

This also goes for relationships with colleagues. Even if you once had a great relationship with a colleague, it might change a bit as circumstances and situations change. This doesn't mean you did anything wrong, it's just the nature of human relationships!

It's so important to accept this complexity. It helps us be more tolerant and understanding of the choices and actions of others.

Third, take a moment to think about your own growth and development. Every change in a relationship is an opportunity to learn and grow!

It's so important to reflect on past experiences. This helps us understand our strengths and weaknesses, and it gives us a chance to learn and grow. Even if a relationship with a colleague changes, it's still valuable to think about how it's affected your personal growth.

And finally, remember to cherish the present and look to the future! No matter how past relationships with colleagues have changed, it is so important to cherish the friendships and collaborations that are in front of you.

At the same time, let's look to the future with optimism. There's so much to look forward to in the new work environment and among new colleagues. We'll have more interesting encounters and collaborations than we ever imagined. Keep an open mind, face change positively, and believe that the future will be even better.

It's important to remember that changes in colleague relationships are totally normal and to be expected. We're all constantly evolving and changing, and the work environment is always adjusting to keep up! Sometimes, colleagues move on to pursue new opportunities or lifestyles.

It's okay! Their alienation is probably not because you did something wrong. It's probably more likely because the paths of your lives have started to go in different directions. It's totally fine to accept this change. Don't blame yourself too much and get stuck thinking about the past. Look forward and actively adapt to the new environment and relationships!

Second, take a moment to think about how you contributed to the relationship. Looking back on past colleague relationships can help you reflect on the role you played in them.

We all make mistakes. Have you ever said or done something that made someone else feel uncomfortable or unhappy? If so, it's important to take a step back and think about how you can improve your communication style and attitude towards others.

It's also important to remember that the alienation between people isn't always down to personal behaviour. Sometimes it's also affected by external factors and the environment.

Third, look for new opportunities and room for development. When there is a distance in the once close colleague relationship, it also represents a new opportunity and challenge.

It's a great idea to try to expand your social circle, meet new colleagues and friends, and expand your personal connections and social circles. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel! By participating in team activities, social gatherings, or industry exchanges, you can establish new connections and cooperative relationships with others, and slowly get out of the distress and anxiety caused by your original colleague relationships.

It's so important to give yourself time and space to adapt and adjust. When we're facing changes and alienation in colleague relationships, it's natural to need time to adjust and heal ourselves.

It's okay to have a little self-compassion, but don't get too caught up in the past. Have faith in yourself and your ability to grow and learn. Trust that there are wonderful relationships and opportunities waiting for you in the future.

I truly believe you can get out of trouble and find balance and happiness again.

I hope you'll be free from doubts and internal conflicts soon, and that you'll be able to embrace new life challenges and opportunities with open arms!

Hello. I am a heart exploration coach, and I am in a position to offer you some advice.

From your written description, I can sense that you are a very kind person. You know that you can treat others with an honest heart, whether it is in daily life, during your student days, or in the workplace.

You know you treated them well and they treated you well. You treated them as friends, not as competitors in the workplace with potentially more competitive interests.

But perhaps in real life things have gone a bit against your wishes. You find that after your once-close colleagues have left, they have clearly become distant. You had a particularly good relationship at work. You would have lunch together, or you could often have very heartfelt exchanges during the day. Even after work, you could share some interests and sympathize with each other. You had something to give and receive, and you both felt that this person was worth getting to know and could bring you the experience of flow.

But with their departure, you find that, for example, at work, you used to be able to talk about other things to relieve some of the stress. The more this happens, the more they leave, and they have more time to chat with you about other gossip or exchange views on the stress at work in other units.

You need to re-establish contact with them more actively. They've been ignoring you, so you need to take control of the situation.

I understand this all too well. It's not easy to meet a suitable good friend with whom you can pour your heart out. Even though they are colleagues, you feel you can meet such a person with whom you can chat in the workplace and they can be open with you. You value this greatly.

They showed you that they cherish you. You felt like you could become lifelong friends.

But after they left, they were more indifferent, more resigned, and more detached. They ignored me after leaving, and I want to know why.

They should have become more familiar with you since they no longer have to compete with you. Do you feel the same way?

You feel like you might have offended them with a word or action, or used the wrong tone of voice. You are filled with self-doubt and consumed by internal conflict.

I can tell you are kind and sincere, and I am sure they feel the same way when they are with you.

We must consider the starting point of the other person towards us.

Exchange kindness with him.

Or is the other person just a colleague? If so, you can talk well with each other on that level. Do you talk about work-related things after work? Or do you talk about your personal interests?

There is a clear difference between the two, and you can recall it now.

When you get along really well with them and you are in the same company, what do you talk about after dinner? This is very important. You need to sort it out and write it down. Click on my personal homepage and ask me questions. I will help you analyze it more specifically. Is there a problem on your side, or is their starting point inappropriate, or what are their true thoughts? We will sort it out based on the content you provide.

You need to be self-aware and practice deliberately if you want to stop self-defeating. Self-awareness is key. Think about what you've communicated in previous interactions. What kind of experience do you feel they bring you?

Tell me, do you feel like they are your companion, or do they really talk to you from the bottom of their heart and are very attentive? Or do they like some of the things you like, and do you have a resonance with each other?

Organize these contents and combine them with your own thoughts. This will help us determine what is going on.

You must resolve your internal conflict through deliberate practice. Deliberate practice allows you to pause when you experience internal conflict, allowing you to see the environment you are in and analyze whether your insecurity is causing it or if your inappropriate behavior has alienated them.

This is all based on the actual situation you give me, and we will make a further judgment.

I have made a preliminary judgment on the content you have provided. It is possible that it is not complete, but it is more than just a guess based on my personal experience.

I therefore expect you to organize the text and click on my personal homepage.

I look forward to your reply. Best regards.

The experience of the original poster reminds me of a poem: Don't worry about not having a bosom friend, everyone knows you. Emotional depletion is like a black hole. If you can't adjust your mindset in time, you may fall into a vicious cycle. It's important to learn to stop the loss in time.

As we get older, we tend to feel lonelier. One person who will stick by our side the longest is probably ourselves.

When we look back, many of us have a few close friends at different times who can talk about anything. But as we go through different experiences and have different priorities, we gradually spend less and less time together. It's not that the friendship has faded; it's that each person has a new circle of friends and a new life. No one stays in the past.

The relationship between the questioner and his colleague has become a bit distant, not because the questioner has done anything wrong, but because both have developed different circles and lives, with much less overlap, so there are bound to be fewer stories. In the past, they all lived and worked together, so it was easy to do things together, but in a new environment, the other person's rhythm will also change. For example, after work, if you get together, it will take more time on the way, and there will be more personal matters on both sides. Therefore, sometimes it is not that they don't want to be together, but that they cannot.

2. Learn to accept separation and also learn to adapt to loneliness.

Many people are social animals and don't like doing things alone. But there are some things that are meant to be done alone, and some things that are meant to be carried alone. The questioner will meet new colleagues and friends, and some old friends will move on.

So, we need to learn to face it. Since separation is inevitable, we can enrich our lives, develop new interests and hobbies, meet new friends and circles, and keep ourselves busy. When a person is too idle, it is easiest to daydream. When we focus on doing one thing, time will pass more quickly.

3. The past is for remembering, the future is for making.

We tend to stay in the past because we feel comfortable there. However, time is always pushing us to move forward. We'll meet new people and things, and if we stay in the same place, we'll grow further apart from others.

If you want to have better relationships with others, you need to be useful. It's a mutual benefit: the relationship can be maintained forever, and it's a give-and-take, not one-sided giving. You can ensure your own advantages and strengths, learn to complement others, and exchange equally. If you're useless, your circle will slowly be reduced to just you. You need certain skills to maintain better relationships with others.

Hi, I'm Xiao Fan, a heart exploration coach. If you have any questions or need to talk about something, you can choose the heart exploration service on your personal page.

Good morning,

I can appreciate and comprehend the negative emotional experience you have described, which includes feelings of high emotional depletion, self-doubt, and questioning your own actions.

For this reason, I would like to offer you some thoughts for your consideration.

As illustrated in your case study, "After they all left, I felt a marked sense of alienation from my former colleagues with whom I had once had a particularly good working relationship."

When a former colleague wishes to maintain a close relationship with you after leaving the company, this indicates that they have set high standards or expectations for themselves or for others.

Alternatively, they may be inclined to perfectionism, operating under the assumption that everything will proceed according to plan.

This is frequently the result of placing undue pressure on oneself. When outcomes differ from expectations, it is common to experience negative emotions and doubt one's abilities and value, leading to dissatisfaction with oneself and self-doubt.

This kind of negative self-evaluation often results in the constant thought that one has done something wrong, and even excessive self-criticism or self-blame.

It is also possible that this negative evaluation is the result of a variety of factors, including personal past experiences or the family environment.

It can result in an excessive focus on shortcomings and mistakes, rather than on strengths and achievements.

To overcome the negative emotional impact of your current negative self-evaluation, we recommend the following methods and measures:

Firstly, it is recommended that you engage in positive self-care and acceptance.

It is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, including your former colleagues. However, this does not indicate any fundamental issues with your personal or professional life.

Furthermore, with regard to the matter of the alienation you have described, the primary responsibility or decision-making authority still resides with your former colleagues.

It would be beneficial for you to learn to accept your own interpersonal imperfections and provide yourself with some warmth and support.

It is important to recognise that addressing emotional depletion and self-doubt is a gradual process that requires patience and sustained effort.

As a starting point, it would be beneficial to establish healthy self-care habits, including ensuring adequate sleep, nourishing meals, and regular exercise.

As a next step, we suggest exploring your self-evaluation.

It would be beneficial to gain an understanding of the root causes and factors that contribute to your self-criticism.

By examining your negative self-evaluation, you can gradually eliminate your overly strict self-standards and negative inner dialogue.

In light of the above, it is recommended that you maintain a focus on the positive, recognize your own benefits and achievements, and develop an optimistic and positive mindset.

It would be beneficial to plan some small goals and specific actions in your interpersonal relationships or in your personal life.

As you achieve these objectives, it is important to recognize and encourage yourself in a timely manner to maintain confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

It would be beneficial to once again focus on enhancing your communication abilities.

It is important to note that being in a state of emotional depletion and self-doubt does not indicate that you are the source of the problem. You may wish to consider learning how to effectively manage and resolve interpersonal issues in order to alleviate emotional stress in this area.

As an initial step, it would be beneficial to develop communication skills, including active listening, effective expression, and problem-solving. These abilities are crucial for maintaining and repairing relationships.

In the future, when appropriate, attempt to communicate your current feelings to "the colleague who used to be so nice." This may yield unexpected responses and benefits.

It is also important to identify additional sources of social support.

As you would do when seeking assistance on the platform, maintain contact with friends, family, and leaders in your network. Share your feelings and concerns, and accept their support and encouragement.

Nevertheless, if these negative emotional experiences continue to impact your work and personal life, it is advisable to seek professional counseling at the earliest opportunity.

They can assist you in identifying the root causes of the problem and provide tailored support and guidance.

One such effective psychological treatment method is cognitive behavioral therapy. This approach can assist individuals in recognizing and modifying negative self-evaluations and thought patterns.

We hope this information is useful to you.

Hello, dear.

You are emotionally drained because you believe it is your fault. When you believe this, you become obsessed with finding out where you went wrong and correcting it.

You will be caught in an infinite loop of memories, trying to find clues. With each memory, you are trying to solve what you did wrong, but this is trapping you in the past, constantly activating the feeling that you are not good enough and that you have made a mistake. This is a trap. You can break free.

When you unconsciously return to an unpleasant past, you rectify it. This reinforces the feeling and belief that you have done something wrong and are bad. You become trapped in emotional depletion. This is the result you actually experience.

We tend to think that anything that happens is our fault and that there's something wrong with us. This tendency to take responsibility for ourselves mostly comes from childhood. Children's world is self-centered, and when we were young, we thought that the world revolved around us. If something goes wrong in the external world around us, we also tend to think it's our fault and our problem.

Our parents' feedback plays a significant role in shaping our feelings and beliefs. When parents consistently blame their children and attribute their own negative moods to them, it reinforces the idea that we are responsible for their own misfortune.

This feeling and belief is actually rooted in a scared, hurt, and aggrieved child.

You should watch the psychological movie "Good Will Hunting." When the counselor firmly told the male protagonist over and over again, "It's not your fault," the male protagonist was impatient from the beginning and finally cried with his face covered.

This is the very deep and vulnerable part of him. He finally realizes that it really wasn't his fault and can finally express his inner grievances and hurt.

This stubborn male protagonist has always faced others with a rebellious, cold attitude, but in fact, his anger is protecting him. He knows on the surface that it is not his fault, but that it is his parents' problem. But deep down, in his childhood, he actually agreed that it was his fault, that it was all his fault, that it was his fault that caused those bad things.

He has already taken everything upon himself and is convinced of this conclusion.

The truth is that the feeling and belief that "I'm not good enough, it's all my fault" was formed during our interactions with our parents as children. It is a feeling brought on by the situation at the time.

Let's take an exam as an example. If we don't do well and our parents blame us, we might feel like we're not good enough. But the truth is that not doing well and whether we're good enough are two completely different things.

There are a million reasons why you didn't do well on the exam. Whatever the reason, it is not a standard by which to define whether your child is good enough. Parents who blame their children for their own negative beliefs are to blame, not the children.

However, children unquestioningly accept the feelings their parents project onto them. These feelings become a belief that traps them firmly. Even as adults, whenever something happens, these feelings and beliefs are resurrected, and we enter a cycle of repeatedly believing our inner feelings and beliefs.

You can get out of this kind of internal conflict. All you have to do is see it and not believe it.

Admit that you have a tendency to blame yourself and that you believe that you are not good enough and that it is all your fault. Then, recognize that this is just an impression and belief from the past, not the truth. There could be a thousand possible reasons for the estrangement of old colleagues. Perhaps they are jealous of you, perhaps they are too busy to pay attention, perhaps they are busy, perhaps it is just bad timing, or perhaps you really did something to upset them. These reasons are different from the kind of "I'm not good enough, it's all my fault" that you feel inside.

You will only find the real reason by asking yourself. The feeling that "I'm not good enough, it's all my fault" is illusory and an impression from the past.

If you did something to upset a colleague, it's perfectly normal. It has nothing to do with "I'm not good enough, it's all my fault." When you see these feelings and thoughts arise again, catch them, recognize them, and say something humorous: "Hey, girl, here we go again."

"I don't believe you." You will soon notice that you are getting out of these habits more and more quickly. Your thinking is becoming clearer, and you will find these old patterns more and more amusing.

You will understand and empathize with the pain you have experienced in the past.

I am here to help. I'm therapist Xu Yanlian. Please, feel free to chat.

Wishing you the best.

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. Life is a beautiful journey, not just for appreciation, but for blossoming.

You value relationships and friendships. When a good friend leaves, it can cause some distance between you. This is a good time to reflect on yourself. If you have doubts or negative thoughts, it's time to explore further.

?1. People with different views don't tend to work together well.

You said you had a great working relationship with a colleague, but after they left the company, you could tell they were distancing themselves from you.

When it comes to relationships, we tend to be pretty particular about "circles." There are tons of examples of people becoming good friends because of work relationships. The most typical one is the "Oath of the Peach Garden" (桃园三结义).

The three Liu Bei brothers were determined to plot a great cause, which brought them closer together. They had a lot in common, including their aspirations and ideals, which led to a lot of common ground and shared resources.

Once you leave a job, your "circle" changes, and the natural bond isn't as strong. This is the idea of "distant relatives are no better than close neighbors."

If you don't interact often, even if you're related by blood, the emotional bond will weaken and the distance will grow.

2. Looking at past relationships

We all know relationships last a lifetime, so it's important to think about how we communicate with others. We need to be aware of our past experiences and learn from them.

Everyone who comes into our lives brings us something valuable. Just as you have reflected on yourself, at least in this relationship, you have taken the initiative to recognize your role in the situation.

In other words, I can take action to influence the outcome. For instance, I often stay in touch with friends who have left work by phone, regularly organize group activities, and participate in more weddings and funerals.

It's through interactions that relationships are formed. If you become estranged and your feelings fade, it's not the fault of one person.

Keep an open mind and be objective when it comes to your relationships.

I'd also suggest checking out "Deep Relationships" and "The Art of Communication" to help you build better interpersonal relationships.

I hope this is helpful to you. Best regards, [Name]

If you'd like to keep the conversation going, you can follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Hello! It's totally normal to feel a bit insecure after a former colleague leaves the company. It's natural to wonder if you might have done something to cause the change in the relationship. From a psychological perspective, this may involve two factors:

One of the most amazing things about us humans is our desire to connect with others and to be seen for who we really are. We crave the chance to reflect back to others what we see in them, and to see ourselves through their eyes. It's a beautiful thing!

For example, in interpersonal interactions, we have the amazing ability to interpret the behavior and attitude of others as an evaluation of ourselves. This reflection allows us to understand whether we are good or bad people, which in turn affects our self-perception and emotional feelings. If we receive a positive response, it is like receiving confirmation that "I am good enough" — what an incredible gift!

If we don't get a positive response, we tend to conclude that "there must be something wrong with me/I've done something wrong." But there's no need to worry! We can simply take a deep breath and remember that there are many factors at play in any given situation.

In fact, in interpersonal relationships, other people's actions and attitudes are often not directed at us. This is great news! It means that everyone has their own life and inner world. Sometimes they act detached, even cold and irritable, and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with us. They may have encountered something, or be busy adapting to a new environment and overcoming difficulties at hand... If we regard other people's actions as a mirror to see ourselves, then it is easy to misunderstand others and ourselves, and become consumed by internal conflict. But this is easily fixed!

Another factor is about separation and individuation, which is a truly exciting aspect of personal growth in the psychological sense!

From infancy and childhood, when we have a symbiotic need and cannot distinguish between self and nurturer, we gradually develop a sense of self, realize the difference between ourselves and others, and begin to seek psychological independence. This is an amazing process! However, if it does not go smoothly, and the individual is overly frustrated and not accepted by parents as a container, it can damage self-efficacy, making us feel unable to be independent and separate "I" from "we" in a relationship.

As we grow up, we experience all kinds of changes in our relationships, which can also trigger pent-up frustrations.

Life is like a train journey, with many stops along the way (equivalent to different stages of life). At each stop, some people get on and some get off. This is how we establish relationships with many people and gradually drift apart from some. It is precisely because of this that our lives and horizons become more diverse and rich—and it's a wonderful thing!

And finally, the estrangement of relationships is not necessarily fixed. Many people re-establish contact after many years! We can face relationships with a carefree attitude. And every relationship can promote our understanding of ourselves. The longest and most profound relationship in life is with ourselves!

You can think and try with awareness: What kind of relationship do I want to have with myself? What can I do?

I would love to tell myself something really positive!

Dear Question Asker,

I empathize with your situation.

It seems that you have assumed that your former colleagues were your friends. You appear to believe that the quality of your relationship while you were employed together was such that it could continue after you left the company. However, you now perceive a distinct lack of interest from them. Do you feel that you have done something to cause this change in their behaviour, and that this is the cause of your internal conflict?

It is important to distinguish between colleagues and friends. Colleagues are individuals with whom one shares a professional relationship, whereas friends are individuals with whom one shares a personal relationship. It is not appropriate to judge the relationships between colleagues by the standards of friends.

Colleagues are a group of people in an organization who share common goals and interests and work towards these goals in their respective positions. In this organization, there will be a considerable number of conflicts of interest between colleagues, and there will be a great deal of communication but minimal heart-to-heart contact. Therefore, the positive relationship you believe you have may be a subjective perception. It is possible that your former colleagues do not align with your views, or it could be that they perceive your relationship as typical communication in the workplace.

It is my recommendation that:

1. Adopt a different perspective when considering the nature of the relationship.

As previously stated, positive relationships in the workplace do not necessarily indicate genuine connections. Genuine friendships are characterized by the ability to withstand challenges and support one another through thick and thin. Friendships extend beyond mere laughter and joking; they encompass a deeper level of commitment and mutual understanding. In the workplace, individuals may transition to different roles or even leave the organization, which can result in the dissolution of these relationships.

2. It is imperative not to assume responsibility for their alienation from you.

There are numerous potential explanations for their estrangement from you. As previously stated, they may perceive a diminished shared identity with you given their departure from the same organizational context. Alternatively, they may be experiencing personal difficulties post-employment and may be reluctant to divulge this information.

It is also possible that there are certain interests involved in the process of leaving the company. In short, there may be many reasons, but it is not necessarily the result of any single action or inaction on the part of the individual. Therefore, it would be erroneous to regard their alienation from you as your responsibility and to allow it to cause internal conflict.

3. It is important to comprehend the circumstances of others and to acknowledge their decisions.

Irrespective of the underlying cause, it is imperative to recognise that the decision to downplay the relationship is theirs alone. Should the desire to remain friends persist, it is possible to express concern in a constructive manner. In the event of a response, the option to maintain contact remains open. Conversely, if there is no response, it is essential to respect the individual's choice.

The preceding information is presented by Dancing Firefly. Readers are thanked for perusing this material, and it is hoped that it will prove to be of assistance.

Hello, question asker. I'm Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey, your heart exploration coach.

As a member of society and the workforce, I can totally relate to the questioner's feelings. Please accept my hug.

How close you are to someone depends on lots of things, like how far away they are, what you have in common, and how much energy you have for each other. In particular, groups can have a big effect on how you relate to other people.

My college best friend and I gradually lost touch after years of not interacting. We had less and less in common, and when we finally talked about the past, there wasn't much left to discuss. It's not surprising that we drifted apart.

The questioner might want to try to feel it.

What are the main topics of conversation for former colleagues? They might complain about their boss, share common goals, complain about colleagues, or even eat lunch together. When a circle disappears, it also means that the ties of connection begin to weaken, and it is not surprising that the relationship becomes distant.

Do you have a close relationship with your colleagues, and do you have a close connection outside of work? Is your colleague single?

Do you have kids? Figuring out what you have in common will help you understand the nature of the relationship better.

Colleagues with kids often have less energy and find it tough to keep up close ties. I'm in the same boat, so I totally get why the questioner wants to end the good colleague relationship.

Is the other person just ignoring you, or are they avoiding you altogether? Have you checked what the other person is doing when you need them?

It might help the questioner to try to understand their daily lives a bit better, so they can let go of the feeling of being neglected.

When you're dealing with internal conflict, what are the main things that cause it? One way to approach this is to keep an emotional diary. This involves recording your emotions at the time, as well as any triggers that might be contributing to the conflict. This can help you to see the problem more clearly through your emotions.

As the saying goes, "Three minutes of meeting makes a deep impression." My child is like that with me too. At home, he is full of enthusiasm and dotes on me in all sorts of ways. When I'm not at home, he can't be reached on the phone, and he also has a lot of his own things to do.

It might also be helpful for the questioner to think about whether they and their colleagues have other interactions outside of work, like shared interests or hobbies, or a unified break time. Having these things to talk about with their colleagues can help to keep the relationship strong.

People either have a material or an emotional relationship. It would be helpful for the questioner to think about what the other person values about the relationship when they're at work.

Will this value link still be there when you're gone? If you figure this out, the questioner won't be as anxious.

Some relationships last a lifetime, while others are just short-term. Some relationships end, and some people just aren't right for you. But try to think about what these relationships have brought you, such as an open mind, emotional support, a way of looking at life, etc. These things will make the relationships you've had more meaningful.

"Feeling" is a pretty subjective word, and it might not be totally accurate. When the questioner is confused like this, it might be helpful to speak frankly, and the result might be different. I have a friend who's been by my side since high school, but we've been in different cities for many years. She doesn't always respond to my messages, but when she sees me and wants to reply, she'll explain why she didn't.

Is the questioner someone who relies on emotional dependence? Some people say that if there is an hourglass in the heart, no amount of love can fill it. The questioner might try to enrich their inner world, for example by developing new interests and engaging in activities that bring them joy, which will all make the questioner feel better.

It might be a good idea to speak to a counselor, who could also help you identify and adjust your emotions.

I'd also suggest reading "Burns' New Emotion Therapy," "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone," and "Between People."

Wishing you the best!

Hello, I can answer your question.

You did nothing wrong. Your colleague left his job, either by choice or because of company restructuring.

Everyone's life goals and paths are different. You can get along with each other because of work and build friendships. This is a bridge built on work. However, since the other person has left the company and may have changed jobs, his path will naturally be different from before.

Your connection with your partner and things you have in common may become less. Your suffering may be due to not adapting to this change.

Try to make new friends at work. This will help you feel less lonely. You can also try new hobbies. This will help you relax.

We humans are social animals, but we are also independent individuals. Being alone can be happy and satisfying, like cooking, walking, or reading.

I hope you can adapt to this. Don't blame yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. Just live your life and follow your path. You will eventually meet like-minded people. You can do it.

In the workplace, the phenomenon of "people leaving and the tea cooling" is a common occurrence. It is understandable that this common phenomenon has caused distress for the questioner. They may find it difficult to understand and accept the occurrence of this phenomenon, and they may attribute some of the actions of others to themselves, questioning themselves. From a psychological point of view, this cognitive thinking pattern of the questioner reflects the questioner's inner needs, the desire to gain the attention and recognition of others and the interaction with others, and also reflects the questioner's rejection, denial and non-acceptance of the true self.

I believe this is the best way to look at things. It seems that this person has a good relationship with their colleagues at work, which is beneficial for them and also contributes to a positive work environment.

When a person leaves their job, it could be said that it is the person's need, or that the company can no longer meet the person's current needs in life. In such cases, the person may feel that they need a better job with a better salary to ensure an improved quality of life. Therefore, leaving a job and changing jobs has become a way to meet needs, and this may not be entirely related to other people.

It is understandable that after leaving a job, there is no longer a need to interact with colleagues from the previous company. This can be a challenging time, as you are adjusting to a new work environment and meeting new colleagues. It is natural to feel that you don't have the same level of familiarity with your previous colleagues as you did before. This can sometimes result in a sense of distance or estrangement, as the questioner has experienced.

It is understandable for a person to be distant like this, but if everyone is distant like this, it may be helpful to consider some potential issues. The questioner may find it beneficial to reflect on what they have done in the relationship, how they view and treat themselves and the other person, how the other person views and treats them, and what position they are in the relationship.

Once these issues are clarified, I believe the questioner will find the answer within. It is important to remember that relationships are mutual, and that equality, respect, and trust are the foundation of a stable and positive relationship. If one party keeps the other party on a pedestal and does all the work without expecting anything in return, this relationship model is inherently unequal and unstable. If it is affected by external factors, the relationship will change, and it will naturally be difficult to go far together.

For instance, when two individuals are in a relationship, one may be inclined to provide care and support to the other, and the latter may also require such attention. This mutual care and support can foster a strong and intimate bond between the two. However, when they are not together, the needs of either party may not be met, or perhaps one's needs have evolved and require a different form of attention and care. This shift in dynamics may lead to a natural distance between the two.

If the relationship between the two is based on equality, respect, trust, and stability, even if the two people no longer work in the same unit, the relationship between them is still affectionate. Although there are not as many connections as before, it is likely that the relationship will not become cold and distant so quickly. Of course, I am just using an analogy, and the specific situation needs to be analyzed in detail.

In such cases, it might not necessarily mean that the questioner has done something wrong. Many things cannot be measured by right or wrong, and it might be helpful to view them in a comprehensive and objective manner. If the questioner feels that they have done something wrong, it might be beneficial to think deeply about what they have done wrong and consider how to correct it to avoid making such mistakes in the future.

I hope this is helpful for the questioner, but I recognize that everyone has their own perspective.

Hello!

After reading your description, I totally get how you feel!

First, you wrote in your description: "Once we had a particularly good working relationship, but after they both left, I could clearly feel their distancing themselves from me." Before expressing such emotions, let me first say the old saying, "All banquets come to an end," and I wonder how much you understand this saying.

A banquet is a wonderful gathering where people eat, drink, and then go their separate ways. During the whole process, if you meet someone you know really well, you can go up and chat for a while. If you don't know anyone, you can just leave after eating.

If you are a good conversationalist, you will make many friends at banquets! These friends will only be temporary, but that's okay. When the banquet is over, perhaps no one will know each other, but that's how it goes sometimes. Once or twice is not enough to maintain deep emotions, but it's a great way to make new friends! Eventually, the time will come when the banquet is over, but you'll have lots of great memories to take with you.

Second, in ancient times, at birthday parties, wedding banquets, and wedding banquets, people would invite acquaintances and receive some gifts of money. The most common people to do this were high-ranking officials in ancient times, who would take advantage of their birthday parties to collect money. Many of these people he may have only met once, and he may not even remember them after the meal.

Everything is driven by interests, and that's a good thing!

Now, let's talk about something really exciting! You and your colleagues are also carriers of interests. You met because of work, just like at a banquet.

The great thing about colleagues is that you can build strong, professional relationships with them. If you can find common ground and align on key issues, you can become great friends outside of work. Otherwise, you can still be close friends who enjoy each other's company on a casual basis.

They might not become close friends, but that's okay!

Now, let me tell you about your understanding. There are so many kinds of friends! You can find friends you get along with at first sight, friends you make over a drink, friends you make in a fight, friends you play games with, and so much more. What can be concluded from all this is that the friends you want are the ones who maintain a friendship based on shared values, regardless of any interests.

This is when another saying from the elderly comes in handy: "People's hearts are far apart." When you feel that someone is drifting away from you, don't think it's your problem. It's just that you've chosen different paths in life—and that's a good thing!

Now for some advice!

1. Friends are divided into different classes. You are a person of character, so you rank your friends. This also shows that you have a vague idea of what the word "friend" means – but that's ok!

2. As the saying goes, "if a dog bites you, you don't bite the dog back." This is a great way to look at things in terms of friendship. When someone doesn't value and cherish you, you don't need to value and cherish them back.

3. Friends are indeed very necessary, and good friends need to be cherished even more! Do you cherish those friends who stab you in the back as well as those who eat dog meat?

4. Making friends is also a kind of social etiquette. Sometimes it is just a formality, but there is always a way to make it special!

We're so excited to share this content with you! It's just a reference, but we think you'll find it really helpful.

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, I can see you're feeling a bit confused inside. But you're also doing a great job of recognising this uncomfortable feeling and facing it head on.

I can see that your once close colleague gradually drifted apart after leaving, which has understandably caused some self-doubt in you. Is that right?

From what you've told me, I can really understand how you're feeling. I know you're a very sentimental person, so when your good friend stopped contacting you after leaving his job, it was so sudden that it made you feel overwhelmed.

I can imagine it's a bit uncomfortable for you at the moment.

It's totally normal! You're not in the same company, you don't meet as often, and you don't have the same language. It's hard to keep in touch when everyone's busy with their own lives. But you can adjust your state and not let negative emotions get in the way. All the problems in our life and work

All problems are our resources. We are experts at solving our own problems! Based on your description, I have some suggestions that I hope will help.

First, just try to be more aware of what's going on.

It's totally normal to feel this way, but it's important to be aware of what's going on inside you and what you really want. Once you know that, you can start to feel better.

Secondly, try to adjust your state of mind.

We'll always meet new people, say goodbye to old friends, and then meet again. It's natural! But it's also good to remember that we can choose how we react to these changes. You're already on your way to making a positive change! There are lots of ways to relax, like distracting yourself, finding your own mental cues, or practicing meditation. And don't worry if you find yourself thinking about these things — it's totally normal!

And remember to accept yourself, too!

It's totally normal to have all kinds of emotions in life. When we have these emotions, we don't doubt ourselves or label ourselves. We just accept and allow this emotional state to happen, without fighting against ourselves. In this way, we can slowly adjust to it.

And finally, don't be afraid to seek help from external resources.

If this is something that bothers you a lot and you can't adjust, you can seek help from a psychologist. They're there to help! They can use their professional skills to delve deep into the root causes in your subconscious, adjust your perceptions, heal your inner self, and give you the courage to face it.

But you can also immerse yourself in the study of psychology, learn more, and increase your inner strength. In this way, you can also help us, and we'd really appreciate it!

Life has a way of healing those who are willing to be healed. As long as you don't give up, you will be able to find a breakthrough. You can also find someone to talk to, pay more attention to your feelings, learn to love yourself, and learn to respect the occurrence of any event. In this way, you can help us get out of this uncomfortable mood sooner.

A former colleague who was previously close has become distant, which creates a sense of confusion and uncertainty about one's own actions. This can lead to feelings of guilt.

I empathize with your distress, self-reproach, resentment, self-doubt, and despondency. Allow me to extend a warm embrace to you first.

A colleague relationship is defined as a relationship established within a specific time and space. During this period, the relationship is characterized by a high degree of proximity and intimacy, often exceeding that of relationships with parents. However, as the relationship transitions beyond this defined time and space, the level of closeness naturally declines. This is a normative aspect of such relationships, beyond the control of individuals, and is not a reflection of personal qualities.

I am intrigued to learn more about the specific manifestations of the "once very good" and "alienation" referenced in your description.

I departed from the company in June of last year, which affords me the opportunity to share my experience with you.

During my tenure at the company, there were two male colleagues who frequently engaged in post-dinner walks in the hills behind the office. These outings occurred with considerable regularity, nearly every afternoon when the weather was clement and there were no scheduled meetings.

The subjects of discussion were also highly diverse, encompassing a range of topics from company-related matters to personal family issues. It was often enlightening to gain a different perspective on these topics from the male or female perspective. At that time, our relationship could be described as being particularly close.

Subsequently, I departed from the company, and another colleague was reassigned to a disparate department. Consequently, the trio of us who had previously engaged in hiking expeditions ceased to constitute a cohesive unit. On occasion, we would disseminate information or engage in idle chatter within the confines of the modest group, but the frequency of our interactions soon diminished considerably.

Initially, I would disseminate company-related information in a small group and solicit feedback. However, I subsequently recognized that many individuals lacked the requisite knowledge and that the events at my former company had become largely irrelevant to me. Consequently, I ceased to invest any further interest or effort in these interactions.

Ultimately, the two colleagues and I formed a bond due to our mutual interests. However, as circumstances shifted and we encountered fewer opportunities to interact, the relationship gradually diminished.

One might inquire whether any wrongdoing was committed by either party.

I do not believe that to be the case; rather, the relationship has simply come to an end.

My friendship with my former hiking partner remains intact, and we can occasionally engage in social activities such as dining out together. However, the frequency of our interactions has noticeably declined compared to what it was previously.

I can comprehend the mentality of some of my former colleagues. On the one hand, they are reluctant to be associated with their previous company. On the other hand, they also need to process the impact of leaving, which can cause significant psychological and emotional fluctuations. If you typically share common interests or other topics outside of work, I believe you can attempt to continue connecting through these topics and gradually transform their relationship from colleagues to just friends.

The essence of the issue is not that they have disengaged from the relationship, but rather that subsequent to this disengagement, they instill feelings of guilt and self-doubt.

What, then, is the source of this internal conflict?

It is suspected that the following reasons may be the cause:

1) At one time, the relationship was characterized by a high degree of proximity and the individual considered them a friend. The perspective is that if the relationship cannot be maintained at the level of colleagues, it can be sustained at the level of friendship. However, other perspectives may differ.

2) It is a fundamental human need to interact with others. Some individuals seek to affirm their self-worth and sense of being loved through positive interpersonal relationships. When these relationships are disrupted, they may experience doubt about whether they have been disowned or if they are loved.

In order to address this internal conflict, I would like to propose the following suggestions:

1) Alter your perspective. It is a common occurrence for professional relationships to diminish after one leaves an organization. This is not a reflection on any particular individual. Given the prevalence of this phenomenon, attributing blame is unwarranted.

2) In the event that one's colleagues are united by specific interests and hobbies, it is possible to cultivate these interests into a purely amicable relationship. It may be beneficial to take the initiative and extend invitations to social activities.

3) It is recommended that you attempt to establish new relationships and find new friends.

Hello, question asker!

It's great that you've come here to ask a question! It seems that your former colleague has left the company. You've noticed that after leaving the company, they've felt a sense of alienation with you. This has prompted you to look for the reason in yourself, feeling that maybe you've done something wrong. This has caused the relationship to become distant. You've felt uncomfortable in your heart and experienced mental internal friction. You originally had good colleagues, but now they've gone, and you feel uncomfortable in your heart. You feel lonely at work. You've been hoping that your relationship with them will be closer than it was when they were there, but the reality is not like that. I can very much understand the feeling of being so lost and experiencing internal friction in your heart. Hugs!

I'm curious: what led your colleagues to leave? Did they choose to go?

Did they find a better workplace? If so, I think they may feel a bit alienated now. It is possible that they are also thinking a lot and are afraid that you will feel bad if you see that they are doing well at work. If they left because they had no choice and were out of work, then I think they will feel bad about it in their hearts and may not want to face this situation. Of course, they don't want to see their former colleagues. But who knows what the future holds? They might find a better workplace yet!

If you look at it this way, I think that due to a change in work, you and your colleagues may have to go through an adjustment period. But don't worry! I'm sure you'll get through it together. After all, you got along very well with your former colleagues. They should be the same as you, that is, they are particularly kind-hearted, always looking for reasons in themselves, always afraid of doing something wrong. They should be the same as you, and maybe they are now even more internally drained than you are. But you'll get through it together!

You're in luck! You've realized you need help and have come to us for answers. In psychology, becoming aware of yourself is the first step to healing. You're already on the path to becoming your best self!

So what's next? Absolutely nothing! Let's embrace this feeling because it's our unique character that makes us this way. And guess what? It's impossible to change it all at once. So, give ourselves time. When this emotion comes, we see it coming, and then we quietly watch it go. We can imagine that there is another self in the air, seeing everything about this self on the ground.

Once you've understood and accepted all of this about yourself, you'll be amazed at how strong you feel! To become stronger, write down all the amazing things you've experienced with your colleagues, your current views on your colleagues, your own inner thoughts, and more. See if you really are like you think you are, and if there are any mistakes.

Then, think about the fact that this sense of alienation is real, but it is still subjective. You can also find an opportunity to get together with them, not to reason, not to say anything incomprehensible, and not to say anything unclear. But when you can get together, talking may make everything clear. But when things become clear, our hearts can also grow stronger!

You can do this! Believe in yourself. You can absolutely get through this difficult situation and grow from it. We know that our growth comes from dealing with problems and things one by one, slowly gaining growth over time. When was the last time you felt this way? How did you get through it?

What have you gained? So much! You can draw on that experience, and through your own learning, as well as the methods you have found by asking here. As long as you are good at applying them flexibly, with time, the difficulties you encounter will be solved little by little.

Come on, I believe in you! I believe in the world, and I love you!

Good day. My name is Luyao, and I comprehend the predicament you currently find yourself in.

In the workplace, isolation can be a confusing and painful experience. This paper will use a short story to help elucidate this issue.

The protagonist of this narrative is a young fox that resides in a verdant forest. The fox has consistently demonstrated diligence and commitment, assisting the animals in the forest with various challenges and earning the admiration and affection of its peers.

However, upon departing the forest to embark on a journey, the little fox observed a shift in the attitudes of the other animals towards it. They exhibited a diminished level of proximity and even a hint of distance.

The little fox was perplexed and began to hypothesize that it may have done something to offend the other animals. It contemplated, "Have I done something to upset them?"

Have I been excessively assertive? Have I been self-serving?

However, it was determined that the answers were all negative. It was concluded that the fox had not done anything wrong, yet it was becoming increasingly depressed.

Subsequently, the little fox encountered an aged, sagacious tree spirit. The little fox inquired of the tree spirit, "What caused the estrangement of all the other creatures after I departed?"

The tree spirit smiled and said, "Little fox, you have not done anything wrong. Alienation does not indicate a lack of affection; it merely signifies a shift in the dynamic of your relationship with them."

Each individual has their own unique life trajectory, and when one departs, the paths of those remaining inevitably shift. However, there is no cause for concern, as the bond of friendship remains intact in the hearts of those who have parted ways.

"After listening to the tree spirit's words, the little fox suddenly understood. It came to realize that its role in their lives had undergone a transformation, rather than having done anything wrong.

The responsibility does not lie with them, but rather with the fundamental laws of life. One can attempt to comprehend this reality without succumbing to excessive self-blame or self-defeating behaviors.

Concurrently, it is advisable to maintain contact with them and to share one's life experiences with them. This will facilitate the continued maintenance of a positive relationship.

It is my hope that this metaphorical narrative will prove beneficial to you. Each individual is an autonomous entity, and each possesses a unique life trajectory.

One need not alter oneself to gratify others; rather, one should simply be oneself and accept and respect the changes in others. It is believed that one can navigate these circumstances by following one's heart.

I am certain that you and your former colleagues worked together harmoniously before you left. You have worked hard together, struggled together, achieved together, been happy together, and perhaps also been sad together, suffered together, and failed together. That is why you are so sad and upset after they have left, often thinking of them and feeling lost and disappointed.

Let's be real. People go, tea cools. It's not personal. It's just the way life is. We adults have a lot on our plates. We work hard to support our families, study to better meet the requirements of our jobs, raise our children, serve our parents, and don't have much time left to enjoy life for ourselves.

Feel your own heart and inner conflict. If you really miss those old friends, contact them. Even if you don't have time to sit together as you used to, a few words of chat and greeting will be felt by true friends and will be warm. Don't consume yourself while waiting. Express yourself, let your feelings flow, and let the warmth flow.

If you have other feelings besides missing someone, you must understand the true meaning of these feelings and address them.

The core of all human relationships is the projection of one's relationship with oneself.

You deserve to feel yourself, accept yourself, and be happy with life. Be wonderful!

I really believe that leaving a job is more about your own abilities than about workplace fit.

I think it may be that your colleagues think you are capable, which is great! It may also be that they have a problem with your current workplace, but since you are in the workplace, they can't tell you.

Third, they have new jobs and new situations, and they're also feeling overwhelmed by everything that's going on.

I really feel though that it's more to do with different roles. And it's possible that your colleagues aren't thinking about you.

It's totally normal to feel this way when you're in this state of expectation and dissatisfaction.

I'm not sure how to phrase this, but I'm here for you if you want to talk.

It can be so hard to know whose problem is whose, right? I know it can feel like what belongs to others belongs to others, what belongs to you belongs to you, and what belongs to both belongs to both.

It's tough to say. I think it might be more important to think about whether you want to keep comparing.

Maybe you want to continue, so you doubt yourself and think of a way. Maybe you don't want to continue, but you feel uncomfortable because someone else has treated you this way.

It's totally normal to want to doubt yourself sometimes. We all feel that in our hearts, others are more important than ourselves. It's not about making others more important than yourself, but it's about allowing yourself to be important too. When we don't allow ourselves to be important, it can make us doubt ourselves.

I'm sorry, I wish I knew. I haven't figured it out either.

I know it can be really tough when you've done something wrong and you can't go back and fix it. But it's always better to try not to do it again, right?

So, have you really done something wrong? Or could there be another reason for your actions?

I'm wondering if you don't like your current job? I think of the teleology in the courage to be hated.

I truly believe that everything we do has an inner purpose.

I just want to encourage you to allow yourself to be the most important.

If you don't think you're the most important person, who will protect you?

I just want to help you find the root of your self-doubt, sweetheart.

I really feel for you, and I don't want you to be more confused, so please don't read this if you're already feeling that way. I just want you to know that I'm here for you and I'm rooting for you!

I saw that you got lots of replies to your post when I answered, which shows that there are so many people who hope for the best for you!

I still have the same idea, and it's a good one! Take out a piece of paper and a pen, write out your thoughts, sort them out, find a solution yourself, and you'll find it.

Just let it all out! If you don't want others to see it, you can soak it in water after you've finished writing it and then tear it up.

That's okay, sweetheart.

I looked back at it again and thought about my last answer. I totally get it! You doubt yourself, or whether it is a negative emotion, all because you feel that why did others treat me this way, is it because I am not good enough? And it is you yourself who demands that you be good.

You have such high expectations of yourself, my friend.

It's great to have expectations! Just remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time.