I dislike being at a loss, how can I accept myself?

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope my answer will be of some assistance to you.

After carefully reading the original poster's description, I can fully comprehend your feelings, as I was once in a similar situation. Over time, through continuous growth and adjustment, I have become someone who can understand, accept, believe in, and recognize myself. I have also discovered that when we have inner strength, we can perceive the outside world more positively.

The crux of the issue can be attributed to a dearth of self-assurance. When an individual lacks inner fortitude and is comparatively insecure, they tend to prioritize the opinions of others, suppress their own emotions, and prioritize the needs of others above their own.

It is essential to adjust our approach in the following ways:

What is the appropriate response to feedback from others?

We are all individuals with our own unique set of standards and criteria.

When others meet our evaluation standards, we offer them our approval and support. Conversely, when they do not meet our standards, we express our disapproval and doubt.

Conversely, when we meet the other person's evaluation standards, they will approve of us; when we do not meet the other person's evaluation standards, they will disapprove of us.

It is therefore evident that the recognition of another individual is largely independent of our own actions. Instead, it is contingent upon our alignment with their evaluation criteria. It is, however, not within our control to influence the thoughts and actions of others, nor can we consistently meet the evaluation criteria of every individual.

Life presents challenges to all of us. We each have different aspirations and find ourselves in different positions. There is no need to try to live up to other people's standards or to expect others to live up to yours. There is no need to seek understanding and approval from others in everything you do.

It is therefore unnecessary to sacrifice one's own needs in order to gain the approval of others. Furthermore, it is not beneficial to prioritise relationships over one's own wellbeing. It is important to accept that one will always be liked and disliked by different people. What is crucial is to be able to accept this duality.

It is important to remember that we do not live to satisfy other people's expectations. If we continue to seek approval and care about what others think, we risk living other people's lives. If we are overly concerned with being approved by others, we may end up living according to other people's expectations, which could ultimately lead to a loss of our true selves. This may result in difficulties as it may not align with our genuine aspirations.

It is essential to reassert control over the evaluation of your own performance. You can treat yourself as an impartial observer and evaluate your own work in a comprehensive, objective, and truthful manner. This approach will enable you to gain a deeper understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your professional goals. At this stage, the opinions of others become less influential.

When you prioritize authenticity and self-care in your relationships, you will find that they become more fulfilling. Those relationships that have been negatively affected by trying to please others and suppressing your needs will improve.

It is important to engage in selective socializing.

It is important to note that social interaction is a fundamental human need. Socializing can provide a sense of belonging and security, but it is essential to be selective about the individuals with whom we engage in social activities. It is inadvisable to socialize with individuals who constantly negate and undermine you, as this can cause significant distress. Instead, it is beneficial to socialize with individuals who consistently offer encouragement and support, as this can foster a sense of care and support in social interactions.

If socializing is causing you distress, adjust the frequency of socializing until it suits you. It is important not to force yourself to socialize when you are not ready, and to learn to take care of your own feelings.

How can we align our actions with our personal values and meet our own needs?

Do you know why you sometimes have a short temper? It's because you're always considering other people's feelings, always thinking about how to meet other people's needs, while ignoring your own needs and even suppressing them.

Failing to express our needs and present our true selves results in emotional blockages. It is therefore essential to learn to express our feelings and needs and to be true to ourselves.

The more you align your actions with your core values, the greater the sense of harmony and ease you will experience. I understand that this is a challenging process, but with a clear determination to make adjustments and express yourself authentically, I believe you will gradually move closer to becoming the person you aspire to be.

When you are courageous enough to express your true self, you will find that your own energy will become stronger and stronger.

It is important to release and process emotions in a timely manner.

It is essential to promptly release emotions to prevent them from accumulating and maintaining a stable emotional state. There are various effective methods for releasing emotions, including:

1. It is important to associate with individuals who can provide support and encouragement, and with whom you feel comfortable.

It is not necessary to have a large number of friends; one or two is sufficient. It is possible to identify individuals with whom we can confide, spend time, and engage in conversation. These individuals may also participate in shared meals and social events, providing an opportunity to discuss concerns, receive support, and establish a sense of belonging.

2. Engage in physical activity. Participate in the sports that you enjoy. You can relax your body and mind while exercising, and at the same time, maintain your physical fitness. Feel the strength of your body and the joy of your mood during exercise, and help yourself restore a good physical and mental state through exercise.

3. Use writing therapy to express all your inner feelings and thoughts on paper. There is no need to concern yourself with the clarity or neatness of the handwriting, or to worry about the logic of the content. Just go ahead and express your feelings as much as you like.

4. Utilize a punching bag or pillow to release pent-up anger through controlled physical exertion.

5. The empty chair technique can be used to release emotions when there is no suitable individual with whom to speak. Envision the person you wish to communicate with (someone who can provide support, encouragement, and comfort) in the chair. You may then speak with them as you wish. Alternatively, you can imagine the person you wish to express your frustration with in the chair. You may then express yourself as you see fit.

6. Take a walk in nature and recognize your connection with it. Appreciate how ordinary and yet extraordinary you are, how small you are, yet how unique. When we are in nature, we will spontaneously feel relaxed and experience things differently.

7. Engage in mandala drawing. This practice has been shown to have a calming effect on the mind. For illustrative purposes, "The Secret Garden" is an excellent source of inspiration.

8. Incorporate regular meditation into your routine. Meditation has been shown to have a calming effect on mood. By connecting with our deeper selves, we can gain a better understanding of ourselves. With long-term practice, we can expect to experience greater inner peace and joy.

Strengthen your self-confidence and sense of security.

Confidence is derived from strength and hard work. When we become the person we aspire to be through our own efforts, we will become more and more confident and our resolve will become more and more unwavering.

By setting appropriate goals and working towards their achievement in a methodical manner, individuals can enhance their abilities, accumulate knowledge, and gain valuable experience. This process leads to increased confidence and a greater sense of control over one's life.

Appropriate goals are those of medium difficulty, which can be reached by taking a moderate approach. If the goal is too small, it may not provide sufficient challenge, leading to boredom and a lack of motivation to achieve it. Conversely, if the goal is too big, it may present too much resistance, causing a lack of confidence and hindering progress. Goals of medium difficulty are the most effective in stimulating motivation. When we work hard to achieve these goals, we will feel a sense of achievement and self-confidence.

For instance, if your current walking level is 4,000 steps per day, set your daily goal at 4,500-5,000 steps. This should be a realistic target, neither too low nor too high.

When establishing goals that align with one's abilities, it is crucial to maintain persistence in action. Action is the key to overcoming challenges and truly recognizing one's value.

Furthermore, it is important to provide yourself with encouragement and positive mental reinforcement. Believe in your abilities and know that you can achieve your goals. Perseverance is key.

I have just completed the aforementioned steps, and I am adept at maintaining emotional equilibrium despite external influences. I firmly believe that inner harmony is the foundation of outer harmony, and I am confident that you can achieve the same. Best of luck!

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

You should praise yourself for being so sensitive to your emotional state. This is the first step towards making positive changes.

You are currently feeling pain because you cannot forgive yourself for allowing your roommate's dislike to influence your behavior. You believe that your actions were inappropriate and that you should have restrained yourself.

You are disappointed with yourself, but you must accept that you have such an emotional reaction because your emotional reaction pattern was not formed in one day. It will take time to change it. Fortunately, you are aware of your emotional state, so you will adjust and restrain your inappropriate emotional reactions with the power of self-awareness.

Take a deep breath when faced with uncomfortable verbal behavior from others. This will help you better understand your emotional response in the moment. Keep an emotional diary to record your feelings. This will help you understand your emotions, explore the hidden needs behind them, and respond in a way that meets your needs.

If someone says or does something that hurts you, speak up. Let them know that their words and actions have deeply hurt you.

You must accept yourself, your strengths and your shortcomings. Don't set the bar too high for yourself.

You will no longer fight against the parts of yourself that are not good enough. Instead, you will make changes in a better way. In this process, you will allow yourself to occasionally not be good enough and occasionally hesitate and back down. This is your process of growing towards the good.

I am Lily, the little answering machine, and I love you, the world.

Good afternoon!

First of all, I want to give you a big hug. From what you said, I can tell you're feeling confused, frustrated, and annoyed. It seems like you want to get along with everyone, but you also dislike them. Based on my experience, I'll analyze the situation for you and give you some suggestions. I hope they can help.

First, let's talk about conflicts between roommates.

When we were younger, we often had conflicts with our friends. We'd quarrel with them one minute and make up with them the next. As we get older, we'll have all kinds of arguments with the people around us because of our perceptions and views.

It's the same with parents. These are all too common and are part of our lives.

But conflicts and arguments can also lead to different results. Some can increase conflict and even hatred, while others can increase mutual understanding and affection. How we deal with this is the key.

It's unavoidable that living in the same dormitory will lead to some disagreements.

First, identify the root cause of the conflict. If it's a minor issue, it's best to let it go. One effective approach is to "remember for one second" or to write it on the beach and not dwell on it. This can help the issue fade from your mind over time.

If it's a more serious issue of principle, law, morality, etc., you need to look at it and see who's at fault.

If we messed up, we need to correct it and not do it again. If someone else did it, we can only advise them, but they won't listen, so we just let it go. In the future, we just avoid the topic with that person.

Third, if you say that the two sides have different views, then just forget it. People tend to stick together and group together. Why does everyone have to be the same as you?

Secondly, I'd like to address your current state of mind.

You've already done a great job of handling this. For instance, you've been able to distract yourself and make excuses to stop yourself from thinking when your roommate smiles at you.

But it hasn't worked out the way you wanted. You've actually used the wrong method, which has made you more concerned with the opinions of your roommates and other students. You might even think that no one thinks you're friendly.

I think it's important to focus on your inner self. It seems like you care a lot about what other people think.

If you worry too much about what other people think, you'll lose confidence and become hostile towards everyone. When you see flowers blooming in Shenzhen, it's easy to lose your own radiance.

I've got a few tips for you:

1. Be yourself, not the person everyone thinks you are. Don't pretend to be friendly just to please everyone. You won't be happy pretending to be someone you're not, and others will sense it. You'll also receive only fake friendship in return.

Just be yourself. If we're meant to be friends, we'll make more friends. If not, we can try something else, like keeping a few more pots of flowers, feeding some small animals, or drawing pictures. When you're in a better mood, you'll naturally be friendlier to others, and you'll make more friends.

2. Learn to handle other people's opinions in a constructive way.

We should use other people's opinions and suggestions to help us improve, not to put pressure on ourselves.

Of course, we should listen to good advice, but if we don't think it's very good or if we don't agree with it at the moment, we should just listen and not take it too seriously.

3. How to live in peace with yourself.

You're in a bit of a pickle. You can't communicate with yourself in an extreme way, so you need to learn to live in peace with yourself.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you understand you're upset and that you're in a conflicted mood because you're struggling to let go.

Next, have a good, honest conversation with yourself. Let it all out and then calm down. Then, think about how you'll handle this in the future.

4. Take some time to repair your inner self.

Sometimes being too irritated can make you delude yourself. Here's what I suggest: do more meaningful things that will calm your mind.

Read books that interest you.

Do something you've been meaning to do but haven't had a chance to yet.

I also like to paint.

? Meditation

Take some time to appreciate nature.

It's a great idea to go to the museum to learn about history.

Wait a minute, you can try these quieter things. In other words, slow down, be more calm, and be more busy.

Ultimately, I just want to say that you're doing great and that taking the initiative to change is already a great start. Going forward, try not to push yourself too hard. Let your heart be quiet and calm, take a moment to clear your mind, and then take the next step.

Stealthy self-cultivation is a long and challenging process. It's easy to grasp when you hear others talk about it, but it's tough to put into practice. It's also difficult to overcome without a few setbacks and a grasp of the key techniques.

I know you can do it! Stay strong!

Hello, questioner! I'm so happy to answer your question. From what you've told me, it seems like you're really aware of your emotions and how they affect you. It's totally normal to have big emotional swings when you're 22!

As you get older, you'll find your emotions become more stable.

University is a great place to learn and grow! It's a wonderful opportunity to gain valuable skills that will help you navigate life after graduation. From your description, it seems like some of your classmates' actions have caused you to feel a bit emotional. It's totally normal to feel this way when others interact with us. It's important to remember that everyone has different ways of expressing themselves, and it's up to us to understand and accept each other's differences.

We all live in a world shaped by our environment, and our environment can affect our emotions in many ways. When the words and actions of the people around us evoke certain emotions in us, it's natural to feel unhappy, angry, or even nervous or fearful. This is a normal part of life. Similarly, our emotions, actions, and words can also influence the people around us. It's a mutual dance of energy.

You want to overcome the influence of your environment on you through hard work, and in turn control your emotions. It's great that you're trying to eliminate bad emotions from affecting the bad opinions of your classmates!

It's totally normal to feel a range of emotions, and it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling! But it's important to remember that other people's words and actions aren't always aimed at you. They might not even realize they're affecting you in a certain way. So, try not to overreact to what others say or do. It's good to give yourself a break and not take everything so personally.

Similarly, most of the time, the impact of your non-specific words and deeds on your surroundings is also limited. In other words, your non-specific words and deeds will not be deliberately noticed by your classmates. In other words, the image of you being unhappy and not keen on communication has not left a deep impression on your classmates so far.

University life is still very colorful, with so many different kinds of clubs! If you're feeling down because of some people's behavior, you can adjust your emotions by joining a club that interests you or that you have an advantage in. This will help you become more optimistic and speak more calmly, which will alleviate the negative impact of that unfriendly behavior. I'm happy to have an appointment with you! 1983. The world and I love you!