I don't know how to describe it, and I always feel like I'm going to be blamed. What should I change?

Everyone has a certain underlying personality that can be manipulated by this personality in your life. It can be revealed in both interpersonal communication and in how you get along with others.

For example, when you were in the hospital, you were worried that the other person would be impatient or lack patience, even if they didn't show it. Why do you think you were treated this way? Is it because you don't deserve to be treated well, or is it because you simply don't have the confidence to maintain a good relationship with other people?

This is likely related to a concept in your subconscious mind. When you feel inside that you are not worth being treated patiently by others, the kind of behavior shown by others in the outside world may slowly be implied by you into that state. In other words, our idea of the outside world is often a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I foresaw this outcome and, when the other person exhibited a similar pattern, we stated, "I knew this would happen. My prediction has been validated, which proves my remarkable insight. However, it's evident that the words of prophecy here are not beneficial to you."

If the other party is truly impatient with you, they will undoubtedly treat you poorly and provide little to no assistance. It's also important to remember that everyone is busy, and it's not always possible to answer the phone immediately or to be by your phone at all times.

It's normal not to receive a call. It's just a bit scary if you can't find someone 24/7. This isn't an extreme situation for you, just an occasional missed call. Explain the situation and don't blame yourself. The courier might feel uncomfortable.

This is how he behaves, not because he's targeting you. There are many factors at play, not just you. We can't take responsibility for everything, or we'll end up being unreasonable and negatively affecting our confidence.

Group work is also a factor. You may feel that you have not contributed much, while others have contributed something of themselves. Others have some valuable experience, ideas, or suggestions of their own, and you may feel that you cannot come up with anything of value to contribute.

Some people are just more capable in situations like this. If he is good, he can definitely do this. At the same time, he can also choose to listen to your suggestions a little. If you have suggestions, forget them if you don't. Then you have to reflect on what you should do. Come up with some suggestions yourself. You can make achievements in academia in the future.

You need to learn more. Stop taking so much criticism and focus on learning. That's how you'll grow.

You may have accepted too much negative information in your life, which is something you need to guard against. Boosting your confidence is as simple as carefully determining what kind of information you have received.

Then you can see for yourself what your own perceptions are like. Many things affect each other, and you can take control of your own thoughts.

You will notice changes in your relationships and experience confusion. Change the situation. Walk out of the abyss of self-doubt. Start with a daily cognitive adjustment. Reduce excessive internalization.

You need to give yourself some motivation to improve. Others also have their own concerns, and they are not necessarily just blaming you. Get psychological counseling or talk to someone about it. I wish you well.

What is the question?

Good day, I can see that you are experiencing some confusion at the moment. Please accept my apologies for this. I am here to help. Best regards,

You are facing some challenges in your personal growth. Please accept my support and encouragement in this process.

The issues you are currently facing may be related to your family of origin.

It is possible that, during your upbringing, your parents offered criticism and blame regardless of your actions.

Over time, you may develop a mindset that leads you to believe that your actions will be met with negative feedback from others.

It is important to note that your inner child may still be stuck at the stage when you were being criticized and blamed by your parents as a child. This is something that needs to be addressed.

The next time the inner child from your childhood emerges, you can inform it that during your childhood, you were dependent on your parents for everything, and thus had no choice but to accept their criticism.

Then, inform your mature inner self that you are no longer reliant on your parents and can therefore protect yourself from blame. Furthermore, you are not beholden to your parents' opinions.

If you require assistance in dealing with the "inner child" method, we recommend that you seek professional psychological counseling.

We are pleased to offer a 50% discount on our counseling services to students. To qualify for this discount, please complete the form and submit a school certificate as proof of your current student status.

Given that your current issue pertains to your family of origin, I advise you to consult a professional counselor instead of an instant listener.

Should there be a school psychologist at your university, you are welcome to seek her assistance.

Please be advised that the services provided by a psychological counselor are typically free of charge.

I hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved as soon as possible.

I hope these answers are helpful and inspiring to you. I am available for further assistance if needed.

I hope my responses above are helpful and inspiring to you. I am available to provide further assistance if needed.

At Yixinli, we extend our best wishes to you and the world.

The questioner should recognize the value of the present moment and express gratitude for the encounter.

After reviewing your statements, I would like to inquire whether you were frequently reprimanded during your formative years. This has become a deeply ingrained pattern, an involuntary response to circumstances. Such a behavioral pattern has already manifested without your conscious awareness.

If you have identified an issue that requires attention, it is likely that the root cause is not as you initially perceived. This is an opportunity to challenge your assumptions and adjust your thinking patterns.

It is possible to store these things and tell yourself that others are not criticizing you, but are very understanding and tolerant of you, and that you have not done anything wrong. Even if you have done something wrong, it is important to learn from it. Criticizing will not change the facts that have already happened.

You are entitled to receive love, affirmation, respect, and recognition. It is important to remind yourself consistently in every situation that you are worthy of understanding.

In the event of a misstep, it is important to remain calm and recognize that such occurrences are not uncommon. Identify a solution to rectify the situation and move forward. These experiences are invaluable for personal growth, leading to a more mature and resilient mindset.

It is recommended that you engage in meditation or exercise to relax. It is important to manage your thoughts objectively and avoid immediate self-blame. It is also advisable to avoid envy of others and focus on your own positive attributes.

It is important to remember that regardless of the circumstances, self-blame is unproductive. By making a conscious effort to alter your thought patterns on a daily basis, you can significantly improve your overall performance.

Please accept my sincerest condolences.

In short, people may not like you. This can cause stress.

This makes sense.

Maybe you've had similar experiences and think the same things. If we assume "others may not like us," we'll imagine unfriendly and negative feedback.

If you've had a bad experience of "not being liked," it will affect you.

Your thinking is self-consistent, so you won't see the error. This may be one of many possibilities. You ignore "being liked" and "being treated normally" outside of "not being liked." All you have in your mind is the idea of "not being liked."

The truth is that most of the time, your thoughts do not come true. Even if they don't like you, others will treat you normally. The thought that "others don't like you" is wrong, and the assumptions based on it are a waste of time.

You've felt the tension and pressure.

Such feelings are unhealthy and negative. They can lead to a lot of unnecessary mental strain. You can trace such thoughts back to their source.

What comes to mind when you think, "No one likes me"? This experience may be strong and impactful, but there must be a reason. Perhaps you were not liked in a specific incident, but you need to see that this is just an exception.

We often feel negative emotions strongly because we ignore that everyday life is normal. It's like we only notice the air and sunshine.

You don't have to assume that other people will like you. You can believe that "other people will treat you normally." This is more reasonable and more likely. When ordinary people who are not very familiar with each other get along, there is no love or hate for no reason.

You need to change your thoughts from "others may not like me" to "others will treat me normally."

This is the most likely scenario, the proven fact, and the more reasonable logic.

I wish you happiness.

Hello!

You have many emotions inside you. You have also come here to speak about them, which is a big change.

You also seem aware, brave, and hopeful. Is that right?

You seem sensitive, negative, and cautious. Is that right?

Do these emotions only appear during this period? Or did they appear before?

If this happened before, what happened then? And how did you deal with it?

Most people have these kinds of emotions. This life is not perfect. Some people are cautious because of their family, education, and experiences. But we can change.

If you want to change it, you need to be more aware. Sometimes you also feel that it is just a feeling. So when this kind of emotion arises again, you need to know if it is a feeling or if it is really the case.

Some sensitive periods in life are caused by our bad feelings. They're not facts.

If something amazing happened, how would your life change? What would make you feel it happened?

After the miracle, how will you be different? What did you do to make it happen?

Who will notice your change?

I don't know your situation, but I'll give you some suggestions to help you relax and feel carefree.

First, change your mindset.

A good attitude is key to a relaxed and carefree life. It may be affected by family and past experiences, but with willingness, we can adjust.

When you feel uncomfortable, close your eyes, take a deep breath, calm yourself, and ask yourself, "Is this real?"

Why do I think this way? What do I want?

Why do I think this way? Just stop and think about it. You will learn to control these thoughts.

Secondly, use positive thoughts.

You seem bothered by negative emotions and uncomfortable when others act in ways you don't like. Try thinking positively. Do your own thing and don't let others bother you. Encourage yourself. For example, say, "I am me. What others say doesn't affect me. It's not my fault."

Then, accept your imperfections.

You're always careful and can see when others are doing well. But you might compare yourself to others. They might compare you to them. We all have our own flaws. We should accept them and only compare with ourselves. Then we'll feel calmer and do our own thing.

We must accept and love ourselves. If we don't, who will? Stop comparing and blaming yourself. Accept your imperfections. I am me, even if I'm not as good as others.

As long as we're healthy and don't give up, we'll find a way of life that suits us. What do you think?

Next, learn to let go of negative emotions.

It's normal to have emotions. Everyone has their own confusion. You can come here to express your confusion and find a breakthrough. Saying it out loud is healing and releases bad emotions. It will be easier for you and you will become more powerful when you keep looking for something.

You can listen to music when you're sad, talk to people, chat, keep a diary, and exercise to make yourself feel better.

Finally, get help from others.

Sometimes we feel troubled by emotions and powerless. We can seek help from counselors. They will help us find the root cause of our subconscious through professional techniques. They will also give us a safe, peaceful, and warm environment. This will help us perceive, clarify, and grow.

You can also watch more psychology videos or read books.

I recommend these books: "The Brain's Code for Happiness," "Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence," "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist," and "High Sensitivity is a Gift."

It's okay to be sensitive. I was too, and I'm better now. Sometimes sensitivity is a gift because it helps us notice and think about things. Many teachers said I was suited to counseling because I was sensitive. I'm not better now, but I've let go of things I learned along the way. I'm getting better, and I'm not as sensitive. Don't give up. Let's work hard together, and one day, we'll realize how much we've grown.

Many changes are small and happen without us noticing. Keep looking and growing. Don't worry about me or things that haven't happened yet. I'll always be waiting for you. We'll get better and better together!

It is important to remember that nobody is perfect, and nobody's life is perfect. We all make mistakes and learn from them, but as long as we keep moving forward, the outcome will be positive.

Show the individual who posed the question some physical affection. Based on my observations, I believe you are a perceptive and self-disciplined individual.

While you perceive the three issues you outlined as your own challenges, your ability to recognize the strengths and contributions of others demonstrates your inherent kindness.

However, your kindness is accompanied by a certain sensitivity and suspicion. It appears that you possess a strong sense of self-reliance and believe that you do not deserve to be treated in this manner by others.

Incident analysis: It is likely that you were raised in an environment where high standards were set for you, and that your parents' greatest praise was that you were sensible and well-behaved. As a result, you seem to have formed the habit of behaving sensibly and well-behaved regardless of the situation, otherwise they would criticize you. Over time, you may come to believe that you cannot receive this kind of normal respect and treatment.

For example, the school nurse's patience and conscientiousness are her professional ethics, and she treats everyone the same. There is no reason for her to be impatient with you. The uncle who came to pick up the package seemed impatient when he couldn't get through to you on the phone and had to wait for a long time. However, you did not perceive his impatience. From the uncle's perspective, he should be impatient, but this is his job. He receives a subsidy for picking up packages, and you are his customer. How could a salesman be impatient with his own customer?

Third, you referenced the highly capable classmate in the group. You highlighted her independent completion of the PPT and her adept correction of errors. You expressed concern that others might have an issue with you, but I observed her sense of accomplishment from her independent completion of the entire event.

Perhaps, at a fundamental level, she remains grateful to all for providing her with the chance to work independently. Consequently, the actions you anticipate may not materialise. The underlying issue appears to be your perception that you do not deserve such positive treatment.

If this has never occurred before, but has recently, would you treat "you" this way if you were the nurse, uncle, or exemplary classmate in the scenario? Or do you wish to express your impatience with others in this manner?

I believe you may have recently experienced something that has caused you to feel a certain way, but because you are currently feeling depressed, you are attempting to hide your emotions and focus on other people's actions. This is a very complex situation.

It is important to understand that change does not occur immediately. The first step is to accept yourself.

There have been a few instances where you feel as though you are at fault, even though others did not engage in any wrongdoing. At what point did you begin to judge yourself?

Regardless of the reason, it is imperative to recognize that the past is immutable. It is essential to embrace one's imperfections. For instance, when you identify the strengths of others, I recognize your own strengths. Developing the ability to recognize the merits of others, rather than succumbing to jealousy, is a valuable skill. Therefore, it is crucial to love yourself.

Secondly, cultivate relationships with individuals who can recognize your strengths. What you perceive as shortcomings may actually be attributes such as good manners and a gentle, soft character, which others may find admirable.

At that time, you will realize that self-deprecation is unnecessary. You are also highly competent, and I want to reassure you of that.

I would like to offer you some advice. Life is very short, so it is important to focus on what is meaningful. It is also helpful to remember that others may have different emotional responses and perspectives, and not to take things so seriously.

It is important to remember that you can only control yourself. Others, however, are a presence that you cannot control. It is beneficial to take time for yourself to engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. This could include eating good food, watching good movies, reading long-cherished books, listening to music that makes you feel good, or going on a short trip to completely relax. All of these activities can contribute to a more fulfilling and enriching life. After traveling thousands of miles (even if it's in a book), you will discover that life is not about the immediate, but about the more distant possibilities.

First and foremost, it is imperative to acknowledge and commend yourself for demonstrating such an exceptional degree of awareness.

One may choose to seek assistance from this Yixin platform. It is possible that this may mark the beginning of a transformation.

From your description of these events, it can be observed that when an incident occurs, you tend to construct a mental representation of the situation, including the other person's potential reactions, attitudes, and emotions. These representations are often characterized by negative and unfriendly elements. Is this an accurate interpretation?

One might consider attempting to identify the individuals who evoke these memories and to reflect on the experiences that these individuals recall.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether such treatment has ever been received from others. Could this be indicative of an underlying psychological phenomenon?

Furthermore, it is imperative to acknowledge that such sentiments are erroneous and that one does not deserve to be treated in such a manner. It is essential to provide oneself with the opportunity to recuperate and heal.

Another potential cause for the recurrence of these thoughts may be a lack of sufficient self-worth, leading to a tendency to be overly concerned with the opinions and comments of others. This can result in a tendency to become absorbed in the comments and attitudes of others, leading to unconscious comparisons between oneself and others. Additionally, there is a tendency to perceive one's own shortcomings in comparison to the perceived strengths of others, which can further contribute to a lack of self-confidence.

What methods can be employed to enhance one's sense of self-worth?

1. It is important to be aware of one's inner self and to identify the factors that contribute to a lack of self-confidence. It is then necessary to accept this lack and learn to live with it.

2. It is also beneficial to affirm oneself from a more internal perspective. Identifying the ways in which one contributes to others and society is crucial, as is recognizing one's own merits. It is not uncommon for strengths to be overlooked or underestimated. Therefore, it is important to actively seek out and reinforce these strengths.

3. Record three instances of successful behavior on a daily basis, such as the absence of negative thoughts on the present day. This method of self-reflection is also acceptable.

Secondly, it is important to consider why individuals hold such disparate views on the same subject. This phenomenon is attributed to the influence of fixed thinking. It would be beneficial to explore ways of challenging this tendency.

In the future, it would be beneficial to inquire of oneself: Is this thought of mine accurate? To what extent is it accurate?

When this thought is held, what is the probable outcome? When this thought is released, what changes can be expected?

(From the book "A Change of Heart," you may wish to consult it for further information.) Through constant practice, I believe this may facilitate change.

Given the fortuitous circumstances that have led to our encounter, I extend my best wishes to you.