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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, I'm Strawberry!
It's so inspiring to see how the confessions and troubles of the questioner have brought to light the challenges that many couples face in a marriage when one party is distracted. I'm curious to know more about how the questioner and his wife met and decided to get married. It's so heartening to hear the questioner describe himself as being very good to his wife, and his wife also admits that the questioner is very good to her. It's a testament to the power of kindness and the impact it can have on a relationship.
In a situation where the questioner treats his wife very well, but she still cheats on him, it shows that she's looking for more than just a physical relationship. She wants a deeper connection, whether it's spiritual or otherwise. After being discovered by the questioner, the questioner's wife didn't admit it. But after producing evidence, she seemed to have the intention of returning to the family. The questioner is willing to choose to continue and forgive her because he loves her.
Let's identify the problems and communicate!
Once he discovered his wife's infidelity and returned to the family, the questioner had the chance to discuss this topic with his wife. He could have avoided it for fear of being hurt, but he didn't. He took the opportunity to talk about it. His wife's actions had already hurt him, but he was ready to move on. He knew that the longer he avoided it, the longer the previous problems would remain, and the wife's pursuit would continue after a period of time. He was ready to face it head on.
So, now that you know what your wife has been up to, it's time to have a chat with her. Ask her why she cheated on you, what she's looking for, and whether you can give it to her. If you can work it out, your life can still be saved through change. If not, you'll know whether this marriage is worth saving.
♥ A knot in the heart
When the questioner found out that the wife was talking on the phone with a member of the opposite sex, it was a real eye-opener! The wife's deception made the questioner feel like he had been cheated on again. From the wife's words, the questioner felt that she didn't trust him and she was tired and didn't want to continue. Because she didn't know the truth, she didn't know if what the wife said was true or not. However, from this interaction, it is clear that the trust between the questioner and his wife had already disappeared before.
After the infidelity incident, the wife didn't dwell on the feelings of the questioner and didn't even think about the behavior that hurt the questioner before. If she focuses on maintaining clear boundaries and makes the questioner feel secure in her behavior, she can gradually rebuild trust. Because of the infidelity incident, the questioner has a mental block on his wife's behavior and is prone to speculate about her every move. Perhaps when you are not looking at her, you may have the thought of whether she is doing something behind your back again.
Make the call and decide based on the actual situation!
My wife wants to divorce me now, saying that I don't trust her and that she's tired. Maybe she is tired of your marriage. Sometimes being nice to someone doesn't necessarily earn you their love. If your wife's heart is no longer in your home, then no matter what you do, she won't cherish it. But don't worry! There's plenty you can do to turn this around.
Before deciding whether to separate, the questioner still needs to communicate to understand his wife's thoughts, and then make a decision based on the actual situation. [It turns out that understanding is more important than love. Sometimes we feel that if we love someone, it is enough for the other person to feel it, but loving someone is far from enough. Because the love we give is not necessarily what the other person wants, love is a two-way street, so understanding the other person allows the other person to truly feel that love and thus cherish it.
I really hope my answer helps the questioner out! Best wishes!
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Comments
I can't imagine how betrayed and confused you must feel. It's hard to see the person you've been so good to turn around and hurt you like this.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and once it's broken, it's really difficult to rebuild. I understand your love for her but it's important that you also take care of yourself.
It sounds like you're caught between love and disappointment. If she's not willing to be honest or open with you, it might be time to consider what's best for your own wellbeing and your child's.
You've shown a lot of strength by trying to forgive and move on, but it seems like she hasn't met you halfway. Maybe it's time to think about what you deserve in a relationship.
Every time you find out the truth, it feels like another punch in the gut. It's understandable that you're losing trust; no one should have to go through this kind of emotional turmoil.