I don't want to get entangled with him anymore! How do I break up with him without any regrets?

Hello. I am very interested in this question and I will answer it.

First, you need to understand the pattern of your interactions with him. You chase after him and he runs away. This pattern has hurt your emotions and caused you to feel entangled and apprehensive. You are aware of the problem and you can solve it.

I will now address a few issues that may arise in your description.

1-Investigate attachment relationships: You want to feel loved unconditionally and you try to fight for your love needs through communication. This is a good expression. At the same time, we need to see whether, from an attachment perspective, we have some anxious or ambivalent attachment patterns, such as I have to satisfy my needs in various ways, otherwise I will think that the other person is saying they don't love me. Because the expression of love is closely related to everyone's behavior patterns and personalities, adjusting this attachment relationship is one of the best ways.

2-Perceiving a sense of control: When you say you want to end the relationship of your own free will, it's clear that you have a need to end it the way you want. If it's not the way you imagined, it's out of your control.

I believe that what is making you feel uncomfortable is not the relationship itself, but rather the feeling of being out of control. This sense of control is likely related to some kind of trauma from the rules and education you received in childhood. Being aware of this sense of control is an important step in solving the problem.

3. Deepen your understanding of intimacy. There are three factors to consider: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Practice self-awareness, express your needs clearly, explore and communicate deeply with your partner, and establish a long-term, stable intimate relationship based on mutual understanding. These are all better choices for personal growth.

If you judge whether this relationship is suitable for you based on these factors, you will have a clear direction for your choice.

I know you will find joy, peace, and freedom in your future relationships.

Hello, host! I'm smiling!

After reading your description, I totally get what you're asking! I'm sending you a big hug in the fourth dimension.

From your description, I can tell that you have a clear understanding of your current situation, and I know you can do it! You just need some courage and confidence to implement the decision you have made.

You've already made the decision in your heart, so you're ready to take the next step! The reason you're hesitating may be that you're not quite ready to let go of the current relationship. After all, this relationship has lasted for a year, and if you give up now, you may regret it in the future. But you've got this! You've invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship, and you're ready to move on to something new and exciting!

It's important to remember that maintaining an intimate relationship often requires the efforts of both parties, not just one person. You may have had a lot of time and energy to maintain the relationship at the beginning, but over time, anything or anyone will naturally change due to a lack of response. It's totally normal for you to have these reactions because people tend to respond to people or things that respond, rather than those that don't.

In this regard, I have also summarized some ways to help you alleviate the current situation, and I really hope it can help you to some extent ♥️.

(1) Relax and take your time! Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You've got this!

(2) You've already weighed up the pros and cons of breaking up with your boyfriend, so now it's time to give yourself the courage to make a decision! Don't let yourself hesitate any longer.

(3) Timely stop loss is a great choice for you right now! You've done everything you can for this relationship and you've tried your best. So, you shouldn't feel sorry.

(4) Talk to your friends! They'll be happy to hear about your feelings and thoughts. It'll help you feel better!

(5) When you have made a decision, don't hesitate! You've made the choice, now go for it! Hesitation will make the present you waver between the two choices, which is also not good for the present you. In other words, it means to take responsibility for your own choices!

The world and I love you so much! ?

Wishing you the very best!

Hello!

I'm glad you asked.

From what you said in your text, especially the last sentence, "I now want to end this self-moving relationship and get out of being unwilling," it seems like you've been thinking about what's happened and how you feel about this relationship.

Am I understanding you correctly?

Am I understanding you correctly?

You really want to end this relationship that doesn't move you. It seems that, since you were in love with your boyfriend, you've realized that you've always been the one taking the initiative and trying every possible way to connect emotionally with him.

I'm also curious about what it's like to feel unloved in a relationship from the start but stick with it for a year. As you said, is it just unwillingness, or is there a bigger reason?

In a relationship, we often end up with the person we subconsciously want.

So, you can see what happened in this part. Is there any reason that makes you want to keep this relationship with your boyfriend, even though he seems "a bit dull and a bit unintelligent"? Not to mention that it's a long-distance relationship.

You say you've lacked love since childhood, and I think that might be part of the reason. But it seems like you're putting your expectations and efforts into a boyfriend who isn't that attractive and isn't worthy of you. It's tough to end a relationship you don't want. Is there something we can't let go of? Does he remind you of someone you once knew?

This is just my speculation and curiosity, of course.

No matter what, the person we choose has to be meaningful to you right now and worth exploring.

We know he may not be the best fit for us overall, but we just can't let go. This is what we need to focus on.

If we can see our inner needs and shortcomings, we can develop equal and respectful love in future intimate relationships. Otherwise, we'll just end up feeling overdrawn and burdened with heavy-colored love.

I appreciate your awareness and self-exploration of your inner self and your intimate relationships, but we need to be more aware of that discomfort and the underlying causes.

Because all of our feelings are important and worth paying attention to.

I hope these answers give you a little inspiration. Best wishes!

It's so important to think about whether you should stay in a relationship or break up if you want to make the right decision without any regrets. You need to think about whether you're happy with him or if you'd be happier on your own. Think about what you want your life to be like and then you'll know what to do.

1. State of Affairs

Take a moment to ask yourself: are you happy with him, or are you happier on your own? Which state of life do you want?

Because only you know what makes your life happy and enjoyable, no one else can give you an accurate answer. So, you can only make a judgment by imagining two life situations.

If you find that there are good and bad things about being with him, and you can't tell which state is better, don't worry! You can use the following methods to help you face up to your inner emotional state.

Second, think about the good and the bad.

Take out a piece of paper and a pen, and write on the left the reasons for staying with him and on the right the reasons for breaking up. The more comprehensive the consideration, the better.

Then, just cross out the reasons that aren't that important to you. Keep the ones that really matter to you, and then you can make your decision after thinking about everything.

You can do it! Try to change.

It's totally normal to regret our choices from time to time. We all make mistakes! The good news is that you can learn from them. So, it's a great idea to list the problems you have with each other.

Then, take a moment to analyze each one and see if you can solve it on your own. If you can, put a check mark next to the problem. If not, no problem! Just put a cross next to it.

Then, do your best to see if you can solve these problems through communication and coordination between the two parties. Then, just repeat the above process and make a judgment.

Ultimately, it's really important to think carefully about whether you can accept those problems that cannot be solved. If you cannot accept it, then after thinking clearly about whether continuing the relationship will make you feel pain or whether you can continue to persevere, you will be able to make the right judgment that is in line with your heart.

In short, whether or not you will regret ending a relationship depends entirely on whether you did your best in that relationship. When we have tried everything and still cannot get the life we want,

Even if you break up, you won't feel regret. But if you don't try to communicate change, you might regret it in the future because you'll think about how you missed someone at the beginning when you encountered something.

So, when it comes to leaving a relationship, it's really important to take a good look at yourself and ask yourself if you really want that person in your life. Once you've made sure you're doing the right thing and feeling good about it, you'll be OK either way.

Hello questioner!

1. "I don't like him, and I don't respect him. I have no expectations when I'm with him. Maybe it's just a lack of love from childhood, and I keep wanting to contact him after just a few days."

The questioner doesn't love him much. She keeps reaching out to him because she's unwilling to accept defeat. What unmet needs are behind this?

Is this feeling of "not being content" also from childhood? Are you seeing your boyfriend as your parents did?

If you lacked love as a child, you may seek fulfillment your whole life.

Freud said that a person's character is based on their earliest relationships. These relationships are formed in childhood. They are based on the relationship with the mother, who is the most important caregiver. These relationships affect a person's whole life.

People who were unloved as children can be sensitive, lack self-confidence, and feel insecure. If parents were strict and demanding, then when they grow up, some people will always want to prove themselves.

2. Know yourself and understand this relationship.

The questioner may be ready for growth and self-awareness. Do they relate to their current relationship with their parents? Do they want to prove themselves and gain love?

We often bring our childhood issues into relationships. We may demand things from our partners without realizing it. Ask yourself what role you play in this relationship.

What is the other person's role? What does the relationship mean to you?

What do you want from this relationship? Seeing the relationship clearly and understanding yourself and your behavior may help.

3. Love yourself.

You know you don't love the other person and they don't love you either. You keep chasing them, but it's a waste of time. It makes you feel bad and adds to your problems. You'll be exhausted in the end. It's not worth it.

We should spend our time on the right people, supporting each other. Life is short, so spend your time on the right people. To love yourself, understand your motives.

You have to love yourself to be loved by others.

If you can't resolve your emotions, talk to a professional. Counseling can help you understand yourself better. When something like this happens, it's a good time to explore and understand yourself!

When you understand yourself better, you'll feel less obsessed.

Best wishes!

You say you've been in love for a year and have always been the one to start the conversation. You've never felt loved by him. You now want to end this relationship that has moved you so much and get out of this unwillingness. What should you do?

It's clear you have a lot of reluctance, grievances, and anger. You feel like you've given a lot but not received much in return. You're the one who starts conversations and communicates with him repeatedly in a way that he can understand. But you don't feel loved by him, and you can't see what attracts you to him. You feel like there's no hope.

You've invested so much that you're reluctant to give up and stop the loss in time. You always think that if you give a little more, he'll love you. But love needs to go both ways. A one-sided love will never last.

Ask yourself what you want from him. What kind of expression is an expression of love? What does he do for you that makes you feel he loves you?

Maybe he gave you a little of what you wanted, which is better than nothing, so you don't want to let go. You're afraid you'll regret it, and you may be convincing yourself, "What if he really likes you? What if he just can't express it?"

If there's something you want, just ask. See what he says. There's a difference between being unable to give you what you want and not wanting to. Avoid any regrets.

If you want to break up quickly, just reduce your contact with him gradually. Start by not contacting him for three days, then a week, and then a month. This will help you adjust gradually and develop a habit.

Write him a letter, jotting down everything you want to say, then burn it. Pack up all your shared belongings and hold a ceremony to mark the end of your relationship.

Stay strong!

Hi, I'm a heart exploration coach. I'm here to support you and listen to your story.

You feel your grievances, helplessness, hopelessness, and powerlessness. In this intimate relationship, you don't experience the "sweetness" of love, but instead are "covered in wounds."

You want to be loved and cared for, and especially to receive from the other person what you didn't get from your parents: the ability to love and be loved, and a sense of security.

However, a year-long relationship allows you to fully experience the pain and despair of "unrequited love." You want to end the relationship, but you're not sure you have the courage.

Let's start with a quick hug, and then we'll take a look at what the problem is.

You're full of complaints in this relationship.

There's an unmet need behind every emotion. When you see your various emotions and the need behind them for fulfillment, you might think it's about being seen, understood, and accepted. But it's really about having a sense of security and the ability to love.

We all have the ability to love and to be loved. Some people just aren't capable of loving, while others are incapable of being loved.

When a baby is 0-3 months old, their parents' unconditional love and acceptance makes them the most important person in the world to them. This gives the child the ability to love and connect with others.

When we want others to understand, accept, and recognize us, we first need to accept and affirm ourselves. But often, when we don't get the praise and recognition we deserve from our parents (or other important people in our lives), it affects how we see ourselves.

A sense of worth is how you see yourself. If you hear negative comments from your parents, you might start to think that you're not good enough. This can make you sensitive, paranoid, or even feel inferior.

In your interactions with him, what might seem like a complaint against the other person is actually a reflection of your low self-worth and inferiority complex. You feel "unworthy" because you don't think you're getting the loving response you want from the other person. This sense of powerlessness shows that you need to get life energy, recognition, and confidence from the other person or others.

Complaining can lead to feelings of frustration, especially in intimate relationships. What's needed is more communication and less complaining.

Effective communication is about sharing your thoughts and feelings while also listening to the other person, with the aim of reaching a consensus and managing your emotions.

Your accusations and complaints about the other person don't solve problems. They're just an outlet for your own negative emotions and aren't conducive to building an intimate relationship.

2. Learn from every relationship and grow from it.

Everyone comes into our lives to help us learn important life lessons. This includes parents, partners, and future children.

We all have our own patterns, and we bring these into all kinds of relationships. For example, complaining: we learn these from our families and from our parents.

You can become aware of your patterns and how you interact with your partner. Seeing is the first step to making a change, and it gives you the power to choose.

Even if you end things with your partner, bringing these patterns into another intimate relationship will still lead to the same result: complaints, dissatisfaction, unmet expectations, and a broken relationship.

Here's some advice:

1. Getting along with your parents

At the end of the day, how we relate to others is often a reflection of how we related to our parents.

If you don't get the love and attention you need from your parents and then demand it from your partner, it's not love, it's a "need." Just as I can only take care of the hunger of those around me when I am full, you can only love yourself and others when you have the ability to love.

You are your own most important partner. You can meet your various needs by learning, developing, and enhancing your awareness, maintaining "inner observation," and through meditation, you can practice loving and connecting with others, and then be transformed and grow.

2. Moving from seeking externally to cultivating internally

If you can't get what you want, there's no need to look outside.

If we base our confidence and needs on external, material things or on the affirmation and approval of others, we'll end up disappointed and despairing when these things are removed.

The best way to focus on your inner self is to find your sense of worth. This is your mission: to contribute what you can to others and society.

Happiness has to do with what motivates you from within. This kind of happiness doesn't come from the outside; it comes from feeling satisfied on the inside.

When you're feeling strong and full of energy, it's easy to end a relationship and move on.

I'd suggest reading "The Five Languages of Love," "Psychological Nutrition," and "If Only I Knew Before Marriage" if you want to learn more about the essence of marriage and gender relationships, while also transcending your original family.

I hope this is helpful to you, and I wish you all the best.

If you'd like to keep talking, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'll be in touch and we can keep growing together.

Dear Question Asker,

From your description, I empathize with the questioner. It is unfortunate that a man who is not worthy of the questioner in any way has caused the questioner to suffer for a year, particularly given the long-distance nature of the relationship. In a year, they have spent less than 30 days together, which means that when the questioner needs the company of her boyfriend, he is basically absent. For example, if the questioner has a stomachache, it is unlikely that he will provide her with a cup of brown sugar water. Based on the questioner's description, it is probable that he will not even offer her a cup of virtual brown sugar water.

The question, therefore, is what has prevented the OP from ending the relationship after a year?

The questioner stated that there is nothing about the individual in question that attracts them. Therefore, it would be beneficial to understand where his charm lies in order to support the questioner for a year.

From the questioner's narrative, it is evident that there is a lack of emotional connection. It is possible that only the questioner himself can truly understand this. At this juncture, it is essential for the questioner to assess whether there is any potential for a meaningful relationship with this individual. If the questioner determines through this assessment that there is no possibility of a fulfilling connection, it may be necessary to move on to the next step.

The questioner indicated that a lack of love and a sense of unwillingness may be contributing factors. I believe this is a plausible hypothesis, as I have experienced similar sentiments.

My father was very strict and serious. From a young age, I felt intimidated by him, and this feeling persisted until I went to university. When I fell in love later, I was easily satisfied as long as the other person took care of me considerately. I was very dependent on the other person. I could even overlook his other shortcomings as long as there were no major problems.

However, this approach may prove challenging and, in the long term, may result in a similar conclusion to that of the original poster (OP), namely that the relationship is not worthwhile. The desire to avoid solitude may lead to the decision to remain in the relationship, despite the lack of mutual interest. Having a companion is often perceived as a preferable alternative to being single. Fortunately, the individual in question graduated two years ahead of me and subsequently ceased communication, allowing the situation to evolve naturally.

The questioner is from a different location and there is no face-to-face contact, just online interaction. The questioner can try to ignore the individual for a week. During this week, the questioner should engage in other activities, especially those times when they are used to contacting the individual, and should refrain from sending any messages, including emojis. Even if the individual sends a message, the questioner should not reply.

After a week of this, the questioner will be able to ascertain their feelings, whether negative or otherwise. If possible, after another week (21 days), the questioner may be able to get used to not contacting him. At that time, if there is still a desire to make things clear with him, a calm and rational approach should be taken to inform him that the relationship is over.

He may attempt to contact you during this period. It is recommended that you ignore him during the first week and then, in the second week, do as you see fit. My advice is to ignore him.

Naturally, if there is no contact for a period of two weeks, there is no reason to hesitate. It may be possible to tolerate the situation for a year or two, but it is unlikely that you can do so indefinitely.

Regarding the unwillingness mentioned by the original poster, I can relate to that sentiment. I believe I have more to offer than he does, yet he doesn't seem to value my contributions. Why is he so indifferent to me?

It may be perceived as an uneconomical decision to simply let go after persevering for a year and compromising for a year. When such stubbornness is combined with other factors, it can result in actions that future self may find difficult to comprehend.

The questioner does not need to engage in internal conflict. It is evident that you have accurately identified the individual in question. Despite the questioner's assertion that he may still hold feelings for you, you have stated that he has not demonstrated any form of affection. This raises the question of whether you are certain about his feelings. Is this a relationship based on mutual understanding and respect, or is it merely superficial?

It does not seem that way because the OP has to communicate in a way that is consistent with his own style. He may be genuinely awkward, or he may not be as serious as he appears.

At the very least, after the OP has made every effort to engage the other person, at that time, will the OP also be exhausted? That feeling is definitely not the feeling of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Instead, you will feel that it was worth it to spend so much energy and time on it.

Was this the optimal approach? At the time, it may not have been a decision driven by willingness, but rather a reluctance to invest in this particular individual.

It must be acknowledged that he is not Prince Charming, nor is he Mr. Right.

Since the questioner has already made a decision, it is recommended to proceed with action. If further discussion is desired, the Yixinli platform offers groups dedicated to various topics, including relationships and marriage. As discussions progress, it is possible that the questioner may lack the time or energy to continue engagement.

I would like to extend my best wishes to the original poster for a speedy recovery. We all have two sides to our personalities, and it is only a matter of time before we meet someone who complements us perfectly.

Hello! I'm Silent Study, and I've listened to your question.

I have some thoughts of my own that I'd love to share with you. I really hope they help!

First of all, we must remain kind. Even if we break up, we should not hurt each other. I know it can be hard, but I'm here to support you.

We'll just break up peacefully. You're long-distance anyway, so it'll be easier that way!

You can do this! Just slowly reduce contact.

Until there is no contact, you'll know you've broken up without contacting each other, right?

You don't have to break up with the other person, get tangled up in all kinds of drama, and then have all kinds of things happen that you don't want to happen. We'll just slowly reduce contact until there is no contact, and in this way, you can actually get out of this relationship.

OK, sweetie, I know you said a few times you didn't feel good in the relationship. I know you had a lot of complaints about him, too.

At the same time, you might not feel the sweetness of being in love or the feeling of being loved. But hey, your thoughts might be right!

It's only when you've finished with a bad relationship that you can start a new one. So go for it! Find someone who's a better match for you and who you're a better match for.

Love should be sweet, right? If you don't feel that way with the person you're with, it might be time to move on.

There's a saying that I think we can all relate to: "Happy breakup." It's good to end a relationship and start a new one, right?

OK, there's a saying that if you want to fall in love, you should really look into the other person and make sure it's the right fit. And if you're ready to move on, then just do it!

I bet you've been thinking about it for a while, so you probably have some ideas already. Why not use what you've learned from this relationship to help you choose the right person for a happy, loving relationship in your next one?

Fall in love and get married!

And finally, I wish you all the happiness in the world. Of course, whatever the reason, after a breakup, you may also feel a sense of relief.

I really hope you're feeling relaxed.

I really hope you learn from your experiences, and I also hope you'll learn from some courses or books on relationships, marriage, couples, or family and parenting.

I really hope this helps you get along better with your boyfriend!

Good day, question asker.

It is evident that you are uncertain and perplexed about this relationship. However, you are also concerned that you may regret it if you terminate the relationship. It is an emotionally complex situation that you are unable to resolve without assistance. To effectively address this emotional complexity,

First, take a moment to reflect on your own feelings. Love is a two-way street, and it is about building a future together. It requires emotional support and a sense of responsibility to make two people better for each other. What kind of partner do you really need?

It is important to be aware of and consider your desired lifestyle.

Secondly, the pattern of loving and getting along with each other. You also mentioned some of your feelings about getting along with your partner in your question. As feelings are the most direct experience of a person, I would be grateful if you could tell me how you feel.

I am concerned that this may require some interpretation, which could be a significant drain on your resources. Alternatively, could this be the most effective way for partners to adapt to each other?

If the objective is to gain mutual understanding and explore shared interests, it will necessitate input from both parties.

Ultimately, it is essential to address your own emotions. Prior to making a decision, it is crucial to conduct a thorough and objective analysis to prevent any potential regrets. Why is this approach described as "sincere"?

It is important to be true to yourself and to your partner. There are no simple, clear-cut solutions in life. The fact that you have been in contact with your boyfriend on several occasions indicates that there may be an issue that you are struggling to let go of. Conducting a rational analysis based on sincerity can help you identify a more effective solution.

In life, you gain some things and lose others. Follow your heart, do what you believe is right, and move forward!

In light of the question posed by the original poster, I believe it is important to acknowledge the challenges involved in breaking up. While it may be relatively straightforward to announce the end of a relationship, the process of separating peacefully can often be complex and difficult. It is not uncommon for individuals to dedicate significant time and energy to a relationship, with the commitment spanning 365 days a year and 8,760 hours. Despite the presence of memories that may not be entirely positive, when one is deeply invested in a relationship, there are often experiences that make the journey worthwhile. When a relationship reaches its conclusion despite the investment of so much time and energy, it can leave a sense of disappointment and sadness. Additionally, it can be challenging to accept that the other person may not have the same level of investment or commitment, leading to feelings of being misunderstood or misperceived. It is natural to experience a range of emotions, including feelings of detachment and a sense of having invested a great deal of time and energy with little to show for it.

It is not uncommon to experience a sense of incompleteness when a romantic relationship comes to an end. Many of us find it challenging to accept the dissolution of a relationship when there are unfinished plans and unfulfilled aspirations. The investment of time and energy into a relationship can often leave a sense of loss and unfinished business.

From your description, it seems that this boy has not yet done anything to show that he values your love. A relationship is something that both parties work on. If one party's wishes are not being met, it can lead to disappointment. You and this boy are still in different places. When you need care, help, and comfort, it's important to have someone there for you. If they can't provide that in action, they can still show their care with words. However, it seems that this boy hasn't done any of that.

I believe your decision is the right one. The most effective way to move forward is to address the issue directly. Your hesitation may be rooted in uncertainty about the boy's feelings for you. If so, it's important to communicate with him openly and inquire about his thoughts on the relationship. If he remains detached and avoids discussing the matter, it might be best to consider other options.

The end of a relationship will always be a challenging time. How can you find ways to distract yourself and turn your focus from the negativity to a more positive outlook? I believe the first step is to take some time for yourself. Your youth is a precious gift, and it's important to make the most of it. You can still do the things you and this person were going to do alone or with friends to minimize the impact of unfinished business. Allow yourself to remember this boy. It's often the case that the more you try to forget, the more you remember. Then, we allow ourselves to remember and even record it. After we have dulled these emotions, we can look at this matter calmly, and at the same time, it will serve as a wake-up call for ourselves. Next time you encounter such a boy, remember to walk away.

When you're feeling down, it can be helpful to talk to friends, explore new interests, and try to add a little more joy to your life. You're a wonderful person, and it might be that the other person could benefit from learning how to cherish you more. "If you bloom, the breeze will come; if your heart is afloat, smile and be at peace."

I wish you the best of luck and hope you can stay strong.

Good day, I have a question for you.

I understand that you have already made a decision. However, after making this decision, you will have to face some changes in your life and possibly some emotional loss.

I must confess that I am unclear as to your meaning when you say that you are reluctant to let go. In general, a person is reluctant to let go of something they really want and like only if they have to. However, from your description, it seems that you no longer like your boyfriend and do not feel love or happiness in your relationship with him.

It may be helpful to consider whether your reluctance to let go stems from a perception that you are the primary contributor to the relationship, while your partner is not providing sufficient input. Alternatively, it could be that you still have hope for the relationship and are reluctant to end it abruptly.

Please identify any additional factors that may be influencing your reluctance to let go.

Once the underlying cause has been identified, a targeted approach can be taken to resolve the issue.

If the reason is that you feel you have been the primary contributor to the relationship and your partner has not provided sufficient reciprocity, then ending the relationship may be a prudent decision. If you do not end the relationship, the likelihood of continued distress is high.

If you still have some hope for the relationship, it would be prudent to consider how the relationship between you and him can be improved.

If there are additional factors at play, it is essential to be aware of them.

I hope this finds you well. I am writing to express my desire for the following:

Gaining an understanding of yourself is the first step to overcoming anxiety.

My name is Haru Aoki, and I extend my sincerest regards to the world.

Dear Poster,

The host wants to end the relationship but is unsure how.

The host has noticed many thoughts in his heart and can analyze the relationship more objectively.

If you want to end the relationship, make sure you don't lack love.

Loving and being loved is a skill.

First, let go of your unwillingness. Tell yourself that you want it to be over, and try to let go of your unwillingness. Relax your fist slowly during this process, and repeat this several times.

You contacted him because you lacked love and were unwilling. Now you've let go of the unwillingness, so build up the love.

What do you think you can transfer your love to? For example, to your hobbies. For example, running.

Second, look for love in your life. If your work went well or your meal was delicious, that's love. Find more love in your life.

Hello, questioner.

Everyone desires a beautiful relationship, particularly young women. In a relationship, both men and women love and are loved, nourishing each other. A day without seeing each other can feel like a month.

From your description, it seems that you are the one who is enthusiastic and takes the initiative in everything. You take the initiative to contact him, find topics to talk about, and even if you contact him a lot, he still finds it annoying. Do you feel clear about what you want in this relationship?

In a relationship, it's important for both parties to be open about their feelings, communicate regularly, and express their love for each other. This helps to deepen the understanding between partners, strengthen the bond, and decide on the direction of the relationship. If there's a lack of communication, it can make it challenging to bridge the gaps and navigate the relationship.

This kind of communication may not be sustainable in the long term, and it may not be an exchange between two mature adults.

It is important to remember that true intimacy is between two independent people who are mature in body and mind.

Perhaps you could ask him again what he thinks of you, what he thinks of your appearance, what he thinks of your personality, and what attracts him to you.

Could I ask what your thoughts are on the future? I would advise against judging, but rather letting him speak his mind and seeing how he reacts.

You may wish to base your decision on his reaction.

If he is genuinely struggling to express himself verbally but is demonstrating other positive qualities, such as care and attentiveness, creativity in romance, and unexpected acts of kindness to make you happy, then it might be a different situation.

If I understand you correctly, you feel that you are annoying because you don't say anything and don't take action. Perhaps it would be helpful to reassess your relationship to see if this is what you need.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you have gained and given in this relationship. It might also be beneficial to reflect on whether you feel balanced, and whether there are more joys or more troubles.

It may be beneficial to consider ending an inappropriate relationship as soon as possible to avoid further losses.

Hello, host!

I understand the landlord's feelings perfectly. Everyone wants a sweet and beautiful love.

The owner's relationship status is not what she expected, and she is disappointed.

Most girls are like this. They may be sure they are together, married, and have children, but...

Sometimes, you ask your partner, "Do you love me?"

These are clear signs of a lack of love and self-confidence.

Love is like the fire in the stove. You don't have to open the door to see if there's a fire.

You can feel a stove with a fire from a distance.

We can light a fire in the stove, or we can leave it.

It's up to us to decide. Don't complain about the stove not being hot when it's right next to you.

You need to either add more wood to the fire to get it going, or find another warm fire.

Love is wonderful. It's not about one person trying to please the other to make them like you. And it's not about being touched.

If you are attracted to each other for no reason, if you feel flustered and blush, and if you don't feel these things, it's clear you're in a relationship just to find a partner.

Even a dull man is still a man, and he will be attracted to the woman he likes.

The truth is, as the OP said, your boyfriend likes you. He just doesn't know how to express it.

There are three stages to an intimate relationship: infatuation, adjustment, and integration.

The host is still in the infatuation period, but the boyfriend's state has entered the running-in period.

The frequency of attraction between the two is simply not on the same channel.

Don't make any hasty decisions. Take some time to calm down.

In a relationship, the overly enthusiastic party always feels like they are the one suffering.

The hostess also treats her boyfriend the same way, which gives the impression that you don't care.

If your boyfriend senses a sense of crisis, he will take the initiative to contact you and care for you.

After a period of time, tell your boyfriend your true feelings.

My boyfriend needs to be more proactive. That will make the hostess happier.

If you like bananas but the person is an apple,

You need to decide whether you want to keep looking for bananas or if you're okay with an apple.

I am warm and sunny, June, and I love you!

Hello.

You are aware of your possible experiences.

You say you probably grew up without love, and you're not willing to accept that.

You are great. You can see what most people cannot.

Then it's up to you. You decide what you do and whether you want to do it.

1: You are wonderful. You can notice the problem, even if you do nothing. You are better than most people.

You can allow yourself to do nothing for the time being, go shopping, and buy things.

2: Let's look at our problems. I'll show you what's really going on.

Everything outside reflects our inner problems.

You have identified your lack of love and dissatisfaction. Let's address these issues head-on.

If you want something, you create it yourself. We all want love, and we all deserve it.

It's normal, but you are a wonderful person and you can create your own love.

Use your own love to gain more love.

This cycle is very comforting.

Go and look after a flower. Watch it bloom and then let it fall.

Go on a trip. Feel the breeze, the trees, the flowers, and the plants.

Go and spend time with your parents. Feel how much they love you.

Keep feeling. You will discover that you are constantly wrapped in your own love.

Your unwillingness is a learned behavior from past experiences.

We are not in a hurry.

Let me be clear: even when we are constantly wrapped in love, no one will pay attention to such a trivial matter.

Take action and demand to feel it. Go for it!

Greetings,

It appears that you have been involved in a relationship that has presented certain challenges. You have invested a considerable amount of effort into this relationship.

It is recommended that the individual take the initiative to identify potential topics for communication. Additionally, it is advised that they adopt the perspective of the other person and allow them to comprehend the intended meaning. In the event that communication is not established for several days, the individual should take the initiative to contact the other person to maintain communication and emotional ties. However, the response received is not in alignment with expectations. The individual is unable to discern the intentions of the other person, and they experience a sense of fatigue.

The subject displays a reluctance to terminate the relationship, accompanied by concerns that doing so may result in regret and a subsequent desire to reestablish contact with the other party.

It can be observed that individuals in relationships tend to be more proactive and exert greater effort to obtain their desired outcomes. However, despite these actions, the anticipated results may not be achieved, leading to feelings of exhaustion, inadequacy, and reluctance.

Does this resonate with the sensation of a discrepancy between one's endeavors and the anticipated outcome, accompanied by a sense of emotional disappointment?

It seems, however, that there is a lack of clarity regarding expectations and needs in a relationship. There is a possibility that a sense of entitlement is present, whereby the assumption is that, in a relationship, as long as effort is exerted, desired outcomes will be achieved.

This is the reason for the sense of aimlessness that arises after considerable effort has been expended without the desired outcome being achieved.

In a relationship, one's needs may include the expectation of love, expressed directly and verbally, as well as demonstrated through actions and initiatives. Additionally, the need for contact and care, and the desire for understanding, are integral components of a fulfilling relationship. It is essential to recognize these needs and work towards fulfilling them in a relationship.

It is also important to consider how one's needs are expressed in an intimate relationship. Does one simply inform the other person directly of what they require in order to be happy?

Or is it achieved through indirect means?

It is possible that in your relationship, you have a pattern of not directly expressing your needs but instead acting first to show how you believe you should behave in the relationship. For example, you may actively communicate, contact, and express love and thoughts, and then expect the other person to act and express love in a similar manner. It would be interesting to know whether you feel this is the case.

This method of expressing needs is indirect and lacks assertiveness. I have fulfilled my obligations; now it is your turn to demonstrate your affection for me, and it is my turn to experience the pleasure of being loved. If the other person does not align with this rhythm, does your heart not harbor resentment towards the other person?

Subsequently, the other party is likely to be accused of strong emotions. This indicates a potential misunderstanding of the thought process involved.

The question thus arises as to whether one should receive the outcome of one's efforts if one has invested a great deal of time and energy into a particular pursuit. Furthermore, it is pertinent to inquire as to whether the objective of one's efforts aligns with the desires of the other party involved.

In the event that one's desires are conveyed directly and politely, yet the other party fails to respond, should one's initial reaction be one of annoyance or acceptance? Following this, one must then determine whether the relationship should continue.

Furthermore, one's efforts in a relationship and expectations of those efforts may also explain reluctance to end a relationship. It is precisely because of the efforts one has made and the belief that those efforts should be rewarded that one is reluctant to end the relationship.

However, it is important to recognize that this mindset may ultimately be self-defeating. It is understandable that this perspective may evoke feelings of discomfort, but it is crucial to acknowledge the potential limitations of this approach.

Similarly, the reluctance to abandon a project due to sunk costs is an irrational decision. This irrationality is driven by the underlying fear of failure.

In intimate relationships, the inability to accept and bear the fact that one is not loved by the other person may be a significant factor. As previously mentioned, this may be related to the lack of love received during childhood. There is often a strong desire for the other person to love and respond to the individual, and the thought of not being loved is difficult to accept. Even if there is not much love for that person, there is still a tendency to work hard to win their love.

The underlying cause may be the profound sense of being unloved and profoundly lonely.

In a relationship, the capacity of the other person to love is the determining factor in whether they love you, regardless of whether you are worthy of love. It is possible to express needs and love in a relationship, but the outcome is not within one's control.

One possible course of action would be to examine one's own patterns in relationships and learn to express love in a more effective manner, rather than with stubborn expectations. It would be beneficial to express one's needs directly and not be overly concerned with the outcome or the other person's response. If the other person responds, it would indicate that this is a relationship that one is willing to continue.

If a partner does not respond to a given individual, it may be the case that the individual in question still values other qualities in their partner, enjoys spending time with them, and is willing to accompany them for a while. Alternatively, it may be the case that the individual will not continue the relationship if they do not receive a specific response. The decision is always in the hands of the individual.

As long as we do not have unrealistic and unyielding expectations, we are, in fact, quite free in our relationships. What truly makes us feel constrained is that we neglect to address our own inner needs, yet persist in the belief that another person must fulfill them, and that if we merely exert sufficient effort, we can obtain some of what we desire.

Such circumstances inevitably result in the emergence of pain and entanglement.

The expectation of another person's love is an illusion, comparable to the expectation of sustained economic growth. Self-love is a goal that can be achieved at any time.

The only thing that can be controlled is the self. It is evident that I am digressing from the original topic, but I believe that this is a pertinent point to consider.

It is my sincere hope that this information is of some assistance to you. Wishing you the best,

My name is Gu Yi. I am modest and consistent, just like a valley.

It's a simple fact: no matter who a guy marries, he will always regret it; no matter who a girl marries, she will always regret it.

A good relationship is a two-way street.

In any relationship, the degree of reciprocity determines the degree of happiness. If either party is excessive or insufficiently committed, it will cause psychological imbalance in the other party. There is no fixed standard to guide us, so we must judge by the feelings of both parties. This is not standard, so we must be clear about our own inner feelings.

If you can no longer feel even a little bit of love, it is because there is no love. Most of the love you encounter at an impressionable age is intense.

I can see your efforts and your humility in your description. If you like someone, it won't be like this. A one-sided relationship will have a predetermined ending, no matter how long you can last on your own.

When we encounter love and manage it, we must both hope that the relationship can be maintained for a long time and continue to run sweetly. This is easy when we meet the right person. If the person we meet is not the one we ultimately meet, it will be very difficult.

Face your emotions.

Ask yourself: what is keeping you from letting go? Is it because we can leave the ranks of the single team by maintaining a relationship? Or is it because we insist on treating the world well and it will turn around one day?

Or is there still a chance that the other person likes you? If these thoughts are holding you back, you can take control and answer these questions yourself. I know you will find the answers.

In this relationship, I see your humility and your willingness to compromise. Your forbearance is just to gain love. Your intentions are good, and you are responsible and loyal in your relationships. However, the world of relationships is often the most unreasonable, or there may not even be any affection to speak of. Your persistence and long-term perseverance only hurt your own heart.

Don't let our hearts be scarred.

Life is long, and it's easy to meet someone, but it's also easy to not meet someone. We must take responsibility for our relationships and be responsible for ourselves. Many things in life will not be perfect, and it's often because of regrets that people won't let go.

In terms of the college entrance exam, for many people it is impossible to go back. Most people will regret it for the rest of their lives and assume, "If I had done one more question, my fate would be different."

Regret is the softest and most hopeful place in our hearts.

Best wishes.