I don't want to keep going in a vicious circle. How can I not get angry and lose my temper over other people's mistakes?

Hello, questioner!

We need to figure out why we always get angry about other people's mistakes. Let's do it together.

Emotions are generated by events that happen and our perception of these events (core beliefs). Think about it. What is our core belief about the event that has happened? You may be a participant in the event or you may not be involved, but you are related to it.

Unreasonable core beliefs cause emotions. Think about which of your beliefs are unreasonable.

We should be responsible for other people's mistakes.

We may feel that others have not done things well according to our expectations.

We may feel that others have not met our expectations.

We might feel that others don't approve of us.

We can and should ask ourselves counter-questions about different unreasonable beliefs, find reasonable beliefs, change our perspective on events, and our emotions will be much relieved.

For example:

"Everyone must take responsibility for their own actions. If they make a mistake, they must pay for it, face the consequences, and learn from the experience."

"Absolutely. We can allow the other person to have their own ideas when doing things, and we can communicate in advance the next time we do something."

"Of course you can go for perfectionism. It'll make things better."

"Do we care too much about the approval of others, or are we too easily influenced by others?"

After some introspection, we know we won't impose other people's responsibilities and obligations on ourselves, nor will we expect others to meet our expectations. We will allow the other person to have their own thoughts, downplay their approval, and just be ourselves.

The questioner should put this into practice.

You can also learn to relieve your emotions. The following methods will help:

When emotions arise, take a deep breath to clear your mind and stay calm.

Leave the scene and wait until you've regained your composure before speaking with the person involved.

Tell your story. You can write it down or talk to someone you trust.

Exercise is an effective way to relieve negative emotions. When we exercise, our brain releases chemicals that make us feel better.

The above suggestions are for your reference.

I am confident that these suggestions will be helpful. Best regards!

Good morning,

It is important to understand that you cannot control your emotions and that anger can lead to negative outcomes, including distress, anxiety, and discomfort.

It is important to note that losing one's temper is a habitual emotional response pattern. Its formation is not contingent on being born in the year of the dragon. Among individuals born in the year of the dragon, there are those who demonstrate a capacity for maintaining a good temper.

Emotional response patterns may be shaped by parenting styles and upbringing, which can be learned from caregivers or developed in response to specific situations during the growth process.

This emotional response pattern can be modified through awareness and subsequent action.

I am pleased to see that you have already taken the first step. Your ability to recognize that you tend to lose your temper and to want to change this behavior is an excellent resource.

1. When you become aware that you are becoming angry due to another person's mistake, take a deep breath and exhale slowly a few times. This may help to calm your emotions.

It is possible that you may initially fail to achieve the desired result, but with continued effort, you will eventually see a change.

2. Modify your habitual attribution patterns and accept uncontrollable factors.

Is it accurate to say that you lose your temper each time someone makes a mistake? From a psychological perspective, there is no direct correlation between an event and one's emotions. Rather, it is our perception of an event that drives our emotional response.

To clarify, the actions of others do not inherently trigger our emotional responses. Rather, it is our interpretation of their actions that can lead to a loss of control. Therefore, a crucial element is our perception of the situation.

It is common for individuals to evaluate situations from a self-centered perspective. When confronted with an issue, it is often tempting to blame external factors for our problems. However, it is more constructive to objectively analyze the situation and consider the various contributing elements. Some of these elements are within our control, while others are not. It is beneficial to prioritize the factors within our control and learn to accept those beyond our control.

3. Learn effective methods for emotional release.

It is important to remember that everyone has emotions. Anger and rage can redirect the energy of aggression towards oneself. If we can channel our emotions well, rather than blocking them, we may be better able to avoid forming a strong reaction.

As an example, accept your emotions, acknowledge that this is part of your character, and recognize that you are prone to losing your temper in certain situations. However, you can regain control quickly. Allow yourself to have emotions, observe them as they come and go, and reflect on them inwardly.

It is recommended that you exercise regularly every day. This will not only keep you healthy and relaxed, but it will also help you to release your emotions.

In conclusion, it is important to note that each individual possesses unique personality traits, and that there is no inherent value judgement to be made in this regard. Furthermore, personality is shaped over a lifetime and gradually becomes established, and therefore requires a sustained and conscious effort to modify.

I hope that Hongyu's reply is helpful to you. Thank you for your question.

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post carefully, I can feel the complexity of the poster's emotions in the content. At the same time, I also noticed that the poster bravely expressed his distress and actively sought help on the platform, which is a great step forward! I'm sure that this will help the poster to better understand himself, so that he can adjust himself and encounter a better self.

And now for some more observations and thoughts that I'm really excited to share with you all! I think they'll help the poster gain a deeper understanding of themselves.

1. Get to know yourself through writing — it's a great way to learn more about yourself!

In the post, it was observed that the poster could not help but get angry and angry at the mistakes of others, and their emotions would get out of control. The result was that the person who made the mistake was fine, and they regretted it afterwards.

Guess what! Many people are just like you, unable to stop their emotions when they come, and then regretting it afterwards. But there's no need to worry because this is just a lack of a little skill or practice in dealing with emotions.

The good news is that we can learn to get along with our emotions! We can understand and get to know ourselves through writing.

Guess what! The host can record every day in a diary what happened today.

It's especially important to write down the things that make you feel emotional. What kind of scene, with whom, and what happened? What did the other person say? What kind of emotion did you have, and what expression did you show?

What were you feeling at the time? Name your emotions! (Anger, anxiety, etc.) This is a great way to get to know our emotions better.

The more we record, the more we can discover the patterns of our emotions and see under what circumstances we are most likely to lose control. And then, when a situation like that arises, we can give ourselves a reminder in advance!

Or, you can remind the people around you that if you feel like losing control of your emotions, you can simply interrupt yourself in time. Then, you won't be carried away by your emotions!

And as we become more understanding of our emotions, we also learn to be more sensitive and become more aware of our emotions—it's a fantastic process!

2. Don't rush to change, but understand why you feel this way — it's a great step in the right direction!

We absolutely can get along with our emotions! The key to this is our awareness. Our emotions are neither good nor bad in themselves; they are like messengers carrying "messages."

Behind our emotions are often our own internal needs, which is a fascinating thing to discover! It's like untangling a knot: you have to first see how the ropes are intertwined.

Observe carefully and you will know how to solve it!

So don't be in such a hurry to escape from your emotions! Stay with them for a while. Ask yourself why you get so worked up when someone else makes a mistake.

Why are you angry? It's okay to feel this way! Are you afraid of losing control?

Or could it be fear? Why?

Ask yourself why, and let's find our inner needs together!

Once you understand your needs, you will also be able to understand and recognize yourself again. Then you can examine whether these needs are reasonable and whether they can be adjusted. This is an amazing process!

And it will help us understand our own hearts!

3. A little exercise to relieve emotions

When we are aware of our emotions and still have a little bit of rationality left, we can actually do so much for ourselves at this time! For example, we can temporarily leave the scene.

For example, we can also use breathing to relieve our emotions. It's a great way to jump out of an emotion without being carried away!

Ready to learn how to use breathing to calm yourself? Let's jump right in! Start by breathing in slowly and deeply, until you feel your lungs are full.

Then, here's the fun part! Hold your breath for 5 seconds. Breathe out through your mouth or nose, slowly.

And the best part is, you can imagine that all those emotions are being exhaled with the breath, and your body is relaxing!

Amazingly, our emotions can be relieved in just a few minutes! This is a fantastic little trick that many counselors use to relieve emotions.

Absolutely! You can practice this method whenever you have time. It's similar to practicing kung fu in that the moves are simple, but the internal strength is something you'll have to work on.

The more you practice, the stronger your internal strength becomes, and the better you can get along with your emotions!

I really hope these will be of some help and inspiration to you! I'm a 壹心理心探 coach, Zeng Chen.

If you have any questions, just click on Find a Coach to chat some more!

Dear Questioner, Thank you for your inquiry. Best regards, [Name] [Title] [Company]

It is often the result of missteps that we lose control of our emotions, which can lead to frustration and, in extreme cases, hysterical reactions. This suggests that the individual in question may be a perfectionist with limited emotional control, making it challenging for them to tolerate mistakes. To avoid losing their temper, they must be able to recognize their shortcomings and be willing to make corrections. Only those who understand themselves and are committed to improvement can proactively seek out effective strategies, which will ultimately benefit them. The following suggestions:

[1] It is important to be aware of your emotions in a timely manner. When experiencing negative emotions, it is beneficial to remind yourself of your current emotional state.

Why is that the case? For instance, if you speak harshly to a colleague because they are late for a meeting, it would be beneficial to ask yourself why you did that.

It is important to understand your current emotional state. If you are angry at your friend for repeatedly being late, you can more effectively manage your anger.

Many individuals believe that emotions are undesirable and therefore avoid acknowledging their presence. It is important to recognize that emotions are inevitable and that suppressing them can lead to adverse outcomes. Identifying and understanding one's emotions promptly is the initial step in effective emotional management.

[2] Accept that a mistake has been made and express your emotions in a reasonable manner. It is inevitable that mistakes will be made by all, as nobody is perfect and does not make mistakes. Furthermore, when you accuse the other person, it will also cause them negative emotions. They will become defensive and unable to empathise with your situation. They may even act in opposition to you, as they are not in your position. Since the mistake has already been made, it is better to accept it and express your emotions in a reasonable manner. You can say, in a slightly angry tone, "I hope you don't make the same mistake again next time."

[3] Release emotions in an appropriate manner. There are numerous effective methods for releasing emotions. The objective of releasing emotions is to provide an opportunity for clear thinking, improved well-being, and enhanced energy levels to navigate future challenges.

If the only way to relieve emotions is to temporarily escape the pain, this is not an appropriate solution. When we have uncomfortable feelings, we need to face them head-on and then think carefully about why we are so angry.

What measures can be taken to prevent a recurrence of this issue in the future? What steps can be taken to mitigate the discomfort?

How can we avoid losing our temper? Will doing so cause further issues?

Select the method that best suits your needs and effectively manage your emotions. By doing so, you can gain control over your emotions rather than allowing them to control you.

[4] Allow circumstances to unfold naturally, develop your character, maintain a positive outlook, and embrace an open-minded approach. It is also crucial to cultivate an attitude of letting things take their course. Your mindset can influence your mental outlook and physical condition. To remain calm, detached, and at ease, and to keep your emotions from being swayed by external factors, it is essential to maintain psychological balance. Life inevitably involves challenges, and only when you are open-minded, calm, and approach life with a normal attitude, you can achieve a state of contentment and happiness.

I hope the above is helpful to the individual who posed the question.

Greetings!

In response to your inquiry, it appears that you are describing a tendency to become highly reactive to perceived insults or provocations from others, resulting in emotional distress for yourself and the other person involved. You also mention feelings of remorse afterwards, yet the other person seems to move on without acknowledging the impact of their actions. This cyclical pattern is undoubtedly distressing and requires attention.

It is beneficial that this phenomenon frequently occurs, as it heightens awareness and motivates change. This marks the initial stage of what is commonly termed "self-growth" in psychological discourse.

From this perspective, the crux of the matter is clear.

It is a fundamental tenet of human psychology that emotions are an inherent and natural aspect of the human experience. There is no intrinsic value judgment associated with emotions; they are simply a normal phenomenon, akin to the weather in the natural world, which encompasses phenomena such as wind, rain, thunder, and lightning.

The crux of the matter is how we cope with it. The questioner stated that they are invariably affected emotionally by the missteps of others, resulting in a loss of control over their emotions. This implies that an internal narrative has been triggered by the actions of another individual, leading to an unchecked emotional response.

Now that we have achieved a state of awareness, it is possible to become more aware of the factors that frequently trigger emotional swings. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether each trigger has a similar underlying plot.

This process can be applied to other situations as well. For instance, when communicating with another individual, it is important to identify whether the emotions experienced are those of being belittled, attacked, or accused.

From the perspective of emotional management, it is important to be aware of when emotions arise, to feel the emotion, and to identify where in the body the emotion is felt. This may manifest as a tight throat, a full stomach, a blocked chest, or a throbbing headache. The first step is to slowly count to 10 while focusing on regulating one's breathing to achieve a sense of calm and relaxation.

(A helpful analogy is that when emotions overwhelm us, our mental state resembles the surface of the sea whipped up by a hurricane, with tumultuous winds and waves that can devastate anything in their path. After taking a deep breath, we are akin to being transported to the tranquil depths of the sea, where we can find solace and peace).

In terms of communication, it is often the case that when emotions take control of the brain, the brain has little ability to let reason prevail. This results in individuals being carried away by their emotions. From the outset of the attempt to communicate rationally, it is not always clear why the interaction becomes a venting and blaming session. The other person may also perceive the individual as unreasonable, and the TAs will act as if nothing has happened, failing to understand why the individual is furious. Consequently, the same behaviour may occur again in future interactions.

In such instances, it is crucial to identify the source of the emotion and determine the most appropriate course of action. This may entail taking a deep breath or leaving the immediate vicinity of the triggering stimulus. Once the initial surge of emotion has subsided, it is possible to engage in constructive dialogue with the other party, employing reasoned argumentation to address the underlying issues.

This is when conversations become more effective. One can posit a suggestion to the other person, such as, "I feel that when you did that just now, could you do it differently?"

For example, one might say, "Say what you think."

How to Deal with Anger: It is possible to experience anger. Anger is one of the most primitive human emotions, and there is a great deal behind it that we wish to express.

For example, anger may originate from childhood scenarios, potentially stemming from feelings of injustice and unfairness. As adults, we possess a broader range of coping mechanisms than we did during our childhood.

These methods can only be employed when the individual is in a state of rationality. When anger arises, if the individual is able to express themselves loudly while remaining calm on the inside, they can control the anger rather than allowing it to become uncontrolled.

It is important to note that one individual cannot directly influence the emotional state of another. While external factors may play a role in shaping our emotions, ultimately, we are the arbiters of our own feelings.

I encourage the inquirer to peruse "Mr. Toad Sees a Psychologist," which offers a comprehensive response to the question posed.

Hi there!

I'd like to understand you better.

This question really gets me. People born in the year of the dragon are strong-willed and determined, but they also have a tendency to face more challenges and setbacks along the way. It can be tough for them to accept negative situations and learn from them. It often takes a lot of self-reflection and healing before they can truly reconcile with themselves and others.

So, to answer this question, I've been through the same thing. Second, when I looked at the answers from everyone who responded, I didn't find anything that helped me when I was facing the same problem at the beginning. I hope I can help you, and it's good to share my experience.

First, we need to understand ourselves fully and objectively. This means understanding our personalities, character strengths and weaknesses, how we see the world, our habits, and so on. This helps us accept ourselves better and find ways to mediate and cope effectively.

For instance, no matter when they're born or what kind of environment they're raised in, Dragons share a set of personality traits. These include a strong sense of self (mature or not), confidence, decisiveness, generosity, competitiveness, fearlessness, and strength. When they get along with others, they come across as generous, uninhibited, patient, and calm. However, they don't like getting along with people whose personalities are too different from their own. If they deviate too much from their own values, they'll feel rejected internally and be more exclusive towards others.

A dragon person may not be afraid when they encounter a ghost or a snake.

But if you become friends with them, your friends born in the year of the dragon will feel an irrepressible rage and an unbearable sense of oppression.

This is a personality conflict, but if a Dragon learns to find common ground while setting aside differences and being more empathetic, it will actually help them become more self-aware. So, when they meet people with different personalities in life, they'll be able to think flexibly on the spot, understand that things don't always happen because of all the factors at play, but that there's often a connection between a person's background and how things turn out. They'll be able to put off personality conflicts for a while and look at problems from a more calm and ideal perspective. The likelihood of conflict, as well as the direction of thinking, will become flexible and broad.

For instance, the original poster mentioned an inability to tolerate others' mistakes. This isn't a complaint that others can't make mistakes (though it might make you feel a bit strange). It's more about understanding people who make mistakes better. Things like their unusual behavior and their inability to reflect on themselves after making a mistake.

So, how can we calm down and deal with problems better?

If you don't have much experience in relationships, you'd probably know that people feel ashamed when they make a mistake. So, they'll try to hide it and not get caught. It's human nature. We don't like to be blamed, and we prefer encouragement. So, companies use encouraging methods when they reprimand employees for mistakes because employees are more willing to accept them. So, going back to the original question, we have a problem. If the wrongdoer is the other party, we can see that their approaches are different but all aimed at maintaining their self-esteem. When people are blamed, they'll resist and protest to maintain their sense of self-esteem.

Then, you have to figure out who you're criticizing and how they're going to take it.

Some people make mistakes without meaning to, so it's important to be understanding and to be able to downplay a problem. However, some people do make mistakes on purpose, and these require a different approach. When people cause trouble or harm to others on purpose, it's a sign of a character flaw. This is something they need to learn on their own, and it's not something we can easily forgive or criticize harshly. Getting involved in unnecessary problems is a waste of energy and only helps people who don't deserve it.

In the big world we live in, it's important to be tolerant and learn to deal with things wisely. We need to understand that people are different. Everyone has their own place in the world. It's important to make the most of your situation and find your own position. It's also good to not pay too much attention to irrelevant matters. That way, you'll be wise.

Knowing yourself is about accepting yourself, avoiding repeating mistakes, and growing.

Knowing your own personality isn't about showing off. It's about understanding yourself better, making the most of your strengths and avoiding your weaknesses. That way, you can make progress day by day, avoid unnecessary suffering and not waste the suffering you do experience, and achieve real growth.

Knowing your own personality strengths and weaknesses is key to avoiding repeating mistakes. Why do you always encounter the same problems and fall into the same traps? It's because of ignorance, an inability to see the essence of things, an inability to change one's fixed perspective, and an inability to see other factors at play.

Let's say Li is a person of integrity who dislikes people who procrastinate. If he brings that attitude to work and has to deal with people who are not very reasonable and like to take "small advantages," you can imagine what might happen. Li's emotions will be ignited instantly, while others remain indifferent and pursue their own "goals."

What Li Xiao doesn't see here is that you also need to be flexible at work to avoid letting the wrong customers influence you. At the same time, you also need to be able to see people who like to take advantage (there are also many different kinds of people, and their motives will also manifest themselves in the same behavior). Their personalities and considerations are different from Li Xiao's. Everyone's direction of behavior is influenced by their self-worth trends, and such values serve themselves. You should try to get along with friends who have similar goals, while if you have different goals, it is best not to get involved with each other.

And learn to accept the diversity of things and treat life with a laid-back attitude.

People live with a breath of life, and the breath exhaled by different people is different. "Like stinking fish" is sometimes a compliment, indicating that if the temperaments and personalities of both sides and other core aspects match, there will be a lot fewer conflicts. However, there are also people in life whose energy fields do not match, and this is unavoidable. We cannot deny all people, and we must see the diversity of things. Everyone has their own unique temperament and merits. It is better to look at them with an appreciative eye. If you can't appreciate them, then just wish them well. People who meet like this are happy people, and happy people will not randomly throw stones at other people. This is the meaning of blessing.

So, no matter how strong a person's personality is, if they want to develop themselves, they need to be able to perceive themselves and observe their surroundings. That's how you exude true wisdom and strength. The so-called singing prosperity and a happy life together is also for those who can accommodate all things and understand themselves. What seems sparse and ordinary is the ability to constantly expand oneself and accumulate one's knowledge and life experience. That's how you achieve greatness. If you want to live a smooth life, you need to grow and constantly reflect on yourself.

Wishing you the best!

I hope that my response will prove to be of some assistance to you.

The reason for the existence of a multitude of emotions and the propensity to become angry at external factors is that, although it may appear to be a matter of other people's problems, in reality it is our internal needs that require some adjustment. When we feel in control of our emotions, we will be less susceptible to becoming angry at the actions of other people. It is also important to recognise that it is challenging for us to change other people. If other people are not willing to change themselves, it is not possible for anyone else to change them. Consequently, we also need to adjust our expectations of others and learn to accept other people for who they are, rather than using our own standards to demand that the other person behave in a certain way. Otherwise, if other people never change, we will experience the same level of upset each time.

Furthermore, the following advice is offered:

1. It is essential to be aware of the core reason for one's emotions.

Upon the emergence of emotional states, it is beneficial to engage in a process of introspection to identify the underlying cause. This entails a conscious examination of the specific needs that have not been fulfilled, which may be the source of the distress experienced.

Through sustained awareness and introspection, one may discern the fundamental cause of their emotional state. Once the core issue has been identified, dedicated effort can be directed towards its resolution, leading to a significant improvement in emotional well-being.

For example, I previously experienced frequent instances of anger due to the discrepancy between my expectations and the actual behavior of others. I had expectations regarding the conduct of my mother-in-law, my husband, and my children, which were not aligned with reality.

When they fail to meet my own standards, I experience negative affect. Subsequently, I came to understand that my core problem is to apply my own standards in demanding of others, and that I become angry when they fail to meet my standards.

When I relinquish my own standards and accept each of them without imposing my will upon them, my emotional state becomes considerably more stable.

However, the fundamental reason for anger is unique to each individual, as their inner needs are distinct. Emotions are a manifestation of unmet needs within the heart.

2. It is essential to accept all emotions.

Indeed, when one is able to accept both positive and negative emotions, one is simultaneously accepting oneself. Emotions are an inherent aspect of the self, and it is essential to learn to embrace them fully.

It is not necessary to deliberately address negative emotions; however, it is possible to utilize them in various endeavors. Emotions are not inherently positive or negative; they are, in fact, beneficial. They serve a purpose in helping us comprehend ourselves and perceive the world around us.

It is essential to cultivate a positive view of emotions, which entails refraining from judging any given emotion and abstaining from determining its inherent goodness or badness.

When emotions are evaluated as either positive or negative, individuals tend to gravitate towards positive emotions, such as happiness and joy, while avoiding or resisting negative emotions, such as depression and irritability.

The maintenance of positive emotions and the avoidance of negative ones both require significant energy expenditure and contribute to the perpetuation of emotional fluctuations and conflicts. This can result in the development of an emotional cycle characterised by a tendency to engage in conflictual behaviour.

It is important to maintain a positive attitude and avoid categorizing emotions as exclusively "good" or "bad." Dividing emotions into two distinct categories can lead to inner conflict and struggle.

This approach allows one to treat emotions with detachment, thereby reducing their influence.

This is the only way to gain genuine control over one's emotions.

3. Utilize rational methods to dissipate emotional states.

It is important to note that emotions should not be suppressed. Sigmund Freud postulated that repressed emotions may manifest in a more violent manner at an opportune moment.

However, it is important to note that the release of emotions does not necessarily occur through the expression of intense emotions. Despite the potential for catharsis through vocalization, it is not a guaranteed pathway to ultimate calm. Instead, it is essential to learn to release emotions in a reasonable and constructive manner.

It can be reasonably assumed that a significant proportion of the population will resort to crying as a means of releasing their emotions. While this may be an effective short-term solution, it is not a sustainable long-term approach. There are, however, alternative methods that can be employed to achieve a similar result.

If one is in need of a cathartic release, one may choose to express one's innermost feelings and thoughts in writing. It is not necessary to concern oneself with the neatness of the handwriting or the logic of the content; one should simply express oneself as much as one sees fit. Alternatively, one may choose to speak with a suitable individual, expressing one's inner worries and stressors while simultaneously receiving the love and support of one's friends.

If the cause is self-negation, it is necessary to enhance one's sense of self-identification, frequently bestow positive and encouraging evaluations upon oneself, and consistently engage in self-affirmation practices. Additionally, one can enrich their cognitive abilities by reading books such as "Accept Yourself: Transcend Your Inherent Weaknesses," "Accept Your Imperfections," and "Rebuilding Your Life."

If one is experiencing sadness due to the actions of another individual, it is possible to identify the person with whom one wishes to engage in a sincere conversation. During this conversation, one can express their needs and feelings. It is only through the expression of needs and feelings that one's heart will no longer feel oppressed.

Anger can be effectively released through strenuous exercise, such as boxing, running, kicking, and so forth. Additionally, stress balls, pillows or sandbags can be squeezed, paper torn, and so on. Another option is the empty chair technique, which involves placing an empty chair in a room, assuming that the individual with whom one wishes to communicate is sitting in the chair, and then expressing thoughts and feelings, including abuse and anger, to the chair.

Best regards,

Dear Questioner, Thank you for your question. Best regards, [Name]

I am Sunshine, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to connect with you on the Yiyi Psychology platform. I extend my warmest regards to the questioner.

The questioner's inquiry about managing anger and fury in response to others' mistakes is a valuable contribution to the discussion. It highlights the importance of recognizing and understanding our own emotions, and the need to develop strategies for effectively managing them.

I would like to take this opportunity to share some thoughts on the topic raised by the questioner and to provide some of my views for the questioner's reference.

I would like to propose the following solution:

Let us first identify and clarify the specific confusion described by the questioner, and then proceed to interpret and analyze it.

Born in the year of the dragon, it could be a problem with the zodiac or a problem with personality. I tend to become angry and furious at the mistakes of others. My emotions are uncontrollable, coming quickly and going just as quickly. However, I would like to improve this state of affairs. Getting angry and furious not only makes me feel bad, it's also bad for my health. The person who made the mistake just carries on as if nothing happened, but I shout myself hoarse. Afterwards, I feel particularly remorseful and don't want to keep going in this vicious circle. I would appreciate any suggestions and methods that you teachers can teach me to better control my negative emotions.

Please refer to the following situations, as outlined in the questioner's narrative:

[1] Is the anger and fury caused by the perception that someone else is at fault? Could it be that holding a different opinion or expectation is the root cause?

[2] Is there a concern that becoming angry or furious may result in a negative emotional state, which could have adverse effects on one's well-being? (This seems to be a clear recognition of the psychological and physiological effects of anger and frustration.) Is there any apprehension or anxiety about this?

[3] The individual who made the mistake acts as if nothing has occurred, while you are expressing your frustration vocally. This may be because the individual who made the mistake is unaware of or lacks self-awareness regarding their role in the situation. Consequently, they perceive the situation as if nothing happened.

[4] Furthermore, the questioner experiences remorse when they become angry or irritated, despite having no desire to become emotional, angry, irritated, or enraged in the first place. Additionally, they lack control over their emotions when these feelings arise.

It is therefore evident that the questioner is reluctant to impose penalties on themselves for the actions of another party. Could this be interpreted as a form of self-punishment for the misdeeds of another?

In response to the questioner's actual issue, we can attempt to address it in the following manner:

First, accept your current awareness and feelings of right and wrong. Then, identify the source of your anger or negative emotions and learn to manage them effectively.

1. It is important to note that emotions, including negative emotions, are a normal and expected response. We may experience a range of emotions, including happiness, anger, sadness, or joy. Additionally, we may feel anger towards an external source. It is essential to develop the ability to recognize and express these emotions in a constructive manner. This could be defined as emotional management.

2. One can always inquire as to the cause of negative emotions, whether due to unsatisfactory work performance, familial discord, or general stressors. In this case, the questioner attributes their distress to the actions of others.

3. Once the source of the negative emotion or anger has been identified, it is important to address it directly and resolve it. Failure to do so may result in a vicious cycle of continued negative emotions. This is a key insight that the questioner highlighted in their narrative.

4. It is possible to identify negative emotions with relative ease. However, learning to address them promptly and in any setting can be challenging. If the approach is sound, it may be more straightforward than one might expect.

Let's consider the example of a couple arguing. If they argue for various reasons and go cold turkey, ignoring each other, they must remember that they are facing this problem together as two people. They must also recognize that there are feelings and expectations on both sides. This requires learning to communicate and express those feelings and expectations. Once this is done, solutions can be discussed. Only when both sides agree can the source of the "emotions" and each other's expectations of each other be seen. Only in this way can the old "emotional response model" be broken and a new way of getting along established.

(I'm unsure if I've been sufficiently clear.)

Secondly, it is advisable to reinforce your mentality and enhance your psychological resilience.

1. In the real world, psychological tolerance is not directly related to zodiac signs. However, there is a correlation. Some individuals possess high psychological tolerance, while others have low tolerance. Some individuals may succumb to feelings of helplessness and self-pity when faced with minor challenges. However, it is possible to cultivate resilience and gradually become stronger. It is important to recognize that strength is not achieved instantaneously. It is essential to avoid dwelling on past experiences.

To illustrate, the questioner has taken the initiative to seek assistance when he encountered problems, which has opened up a range of potential avenues for change.

2. When we experience negative emotions due to a particular situation, we often tell ourselves that we must learn to control ourselves in the future. In fact, when we decide to change, it represents the beginning of a new beginning.

Thirdly, effective communication is the key to managing and navigating emotions in a productive manner.

1. When an emotion is identified, the initial step is to acknowledge it. However, suppressing it is not an effective strategy. Instead, it increases the likelihood of an eruption. When this occurs, it can lead to a disruption in one's composure, potentially resulting in actions that are detrimental to the situation.

2. The most effective method for addressing these issues is to communicate your emotions in a constructive manner. There are various techniques for releasing negative emotions, such as:

Should you have friends in the vicinity, you may wish to consider discussing the matter with them.

If you prefer not to discuss this with your colleagues, you may wish to consider keeping a diary or expressing your thoughts on a microblog where your identity is anonymous. However, it is important to be mindful of your language and not attack others in order to release your emotions.

Additionally, you may find it beneficial to engage in activities that promote relaxation and self-reflection. These could include going for a walk in a natural setting, engaging in enjoyable activities, and expressing your emotions in a constructive manner.

It is also essential to learn effective communication skills, as they are a key to finding solutions.

When we actively manage our emotions and gain insight into our inner motivations, we can leverage various communication channels to effectively express and release our emotions.

In summary, this is my understanding and response to the question posed by the original poster. It is my hope that it will prove both inspirational and helpful to the original poster.

Thank you for your attention.

I am Sunshine, and I extend my warmest regards to the world. With love, Sunshine

Good day. It is evident that you are experiencing distress, and it is my hope that I can be of assistance.

It is evident that you are prone to emotional responses when others make mistakes, often leading to feelings of anger and subsequent remorse. It is crucial to break this vicious cycle and acknowledge the underlying factors contributing to it. You appear to possess a strong sense of right and wrong, which is commendable. Let us collaboratively explore potential adjustments in the following areas:

Firstly, it is important to accept oneself. This entails acknowledging and accepting one's own characteristics, including any tendency towards impatience. It is crucial to be aware of situations that may elicit emotional fluctuations and to keep a record of them. This process allows one to recognise that negative emotions can be managed and lived with over time.

Secondly, it is advised to reduce judgment. Upon identifying a mistake made by another individual, it is recommended to pause and consider the situation from multiple perspectives. This may include examining the underlying causes and scenarios that led to the mistake, as well as any potential cognitive limitations that may have influenced the situation. By limiting judgment and maintaining a distinction between right and wrong, it is possible to gain a more comprehensive understanding of similar problems and develop more effective solutions than those that rely on anger.

Third, deliberate practice. Daily practice can be accomplished through exercise, meditation, writing, and other activities that effectively release negative emotions while simultaneously training the individual to maintain a calm and stable mood and state of mind. When encountering events that may provoke emotions, the individual can respond in a more calm and objective manner.

It is imperative to acknowledge that composure and equanimity are more efficacious than the expression of intense emotion.

I extend my best wishes for a rewarding day.