I feel depressed and my body doesn't feel well because my mother is always preoccupied with me. What should I do?

Hello, dear question asker!

Hi, I'm Kelly Shui!

I can imagine it can be really tough when you feel like your mum is always preoccupied with you, depressed, and not feeling well.

After reading your question, I could tell that your relationship with your mother has given you some different experiences.

[About feelings]

You said that when you went home for the May Day holiday this time, you felt like your mom was always busy, watching you like a hawk and putting you first in everything.

I'd love to know what you'd do in this situation! Would you go and have a nice chat with your mum?

I'd love to know when you felt like this.

If you don't often get to come home after work and spend time with your mom, why not try chatting with her first? She might have a lot on her mind and be really happy to see you. She might not always be right by your side, but that's okay!

You can also have a nice, honest chat with your mum. You could say that you don't like being watched all the time and that you'd like her to treat you differently.

I have a feeling you also miss your family when you come home for the holidays, but I also think you might want your own space to do the things you like and want to do.

I can tell you care a lot about your mom. You also said you're happy, that your mom loves you very much, and that as we grow up and become independent, we don't like being constantly watched by our moms.

Has this feeling of discomfort only recently arisen, or has it always been like this? Many parents also neglect their children's development. Let's guess how old your mother thinks you are at this moment.

It's so important to feel comfortable in our relationships, and our home is a great place to relax. We can also find our own comfortable state, which allows our mother to be herself and you to be yourself.

Your mother can pay attention to you, and you can also express your thoughts and feelings.

[About expression]

I can picture it so clearly!

There's someone on the sofa who wants to play with their phone for a while, and their mom is chatting away next to them. But at this moment, they feel like they can't stop her, in case they hurt her feelings. It's a tricky situation! They feel angry inside, and their mind is all over the place.

Let's try to sort it out together!

I'm wondering if it's your mom's chatter that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, or if you're just a little annoyed because you want to play with your phone and feel like you're being interrupted.

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help you find ways to stop feeling like you're going to throw up.

On the bright side, it helps to keep your mind from becoming too twisted.

You're 30 now, which is so great! You're an independent adult who can also put yourself in other people's shoes. If you were in your child's shoes, and they usually didn't come home, what would you want to do when they came home?

I'd love to chat with my little one. Do you know what your child has been up to recently?

I'd love to hear more about your relationship with your mom. Apart from that one time on May 1st when you felt uncomfortable, how often do you feel like she's paying attention to you?

I'd love to hear some of your happiest memories with your mother!

It's totally normal for kids to want to be independent and to want to be seen as their own person. It's a way of testing the waters and seeing what they can do. So, is there something you've been wanting to try out that you haven't had the chance to yet?

I'm wondering if you ever miss home when you're working outside?

I don't think this is rebellion, sweetheart. I think it's just that you haven't communicated your thoughts properly.

But you are an adult now, so you get to do what you like and what makes you and your family happy. Spend quality time together and express your emotions and feelings more often.

Depressed emotions may require you to see and explore more, my friend.

I'd highly recommend reading "To Be Myself" and "The Song of Life" if you get a chance!