I fell into a hole and never climbed out, is this the end of my life?

Dear Question Asker, I am honored to answer your question. Based on the information you have provided, I feel that your current situation is the result of a complex interplay of factors. It is evident that you have a strong emotional connection to your father, which has led you to make certain decisions, including the choice to fail the college entrance exam. However, I believe that your actions may have been influenced by a deeper pattern of collusion with your father.

In your past life, your father may not have recognized you, regardless of your achievements, and he could never be satisfied. Consequently, when you were on the verge of success, you recalled your father's consistent demeanor towards you. In order to gain his approval, you opted to fail. This has left you in a state of confusion and lack of vitality.

The situation can be analyzed from two perspectives: that of the individual experiencing the problems and that of the father. This analysis may reveal ways to escape the status quo. The subconscious mind disapproves of the father, yet due to his authority and emotional relationship with the individual, rebellion against him is both unable and unwilling. The individual's actions are shaped by a reverse formation mechanism, whereby success is thwarted in the name of rebellion. Formally, rebellion occurs, but subconsciously, obedience to the father's judgment is observed, which places the individual in a challenging situation.

The following section will examine the issues faced by your father. It is often the case that parents who deny their children are themselves relatively inferior and lack self-confidence. In order to maintain their self-esteem and status, they need to deny their children and exert control over them. It is important to note that they do not deny their love for their children; rather, they use this kind of denial and limit their children's development in an attempt to control them within their own perception. This affects their children's exploration and perception of the outside world. When the time comes for them to be tempered, they do not gain enough knowledge and experience, which affects their development.

Despite your status as a college student, your ongoing enrollment in school, and your general state of poor health, you have sought assistance on this platform, hoping that others can help you resolve these issues. I also believe that with some professional intervention from a counselor, you will undergo a transformation, and at least the situation will not deteriorate further.

In the future, it is imperative that you differentiate between your subjective interpretation of the present circumstances and your father's evaluative suggestions.

The initial paternal figure is not the actual father, but rather an internalized representation. This internalized representation and the actual father have become inextricably linked, leading to a significant internal conflict and subsequent deterioration in the individual's well-being.

The situation can be likened to a conflict between you and the mud in the mirror. You glare at it, and it glares back at you. You curse it, and it curses you. You smile at it in the mirror, and it smiles back at you. I am pleased to have an appointment scheduled for 1983. The world and I love you!

Dear Sir/Madam, After reading your description, I would like to take this opportunity to share some advice. When we are at rock bottom, it is important to remember that there is always a way forward. I hope this message will provide you with a new perspective. Best regards, [Name]

Clearly, you have already formed your own understanding of the events that transpired and recognize the missteps you have made. However, you aspire to become an enhanced version of yourself and are seeking guidance on how to initiate this process.

Please find below some personal tips:

First and foremost, self-love entails accepting one's past experiences. Reflect on this: your self-awareness and clarity of purpose have been shaped by these experiences. The relationships you discuss, the challenges you've faced, and your current state of health are all aspects of your life you aim to improve. Consequently, you aspire to be kind, popular, healthy, and happy. This is your objective, so begin the journey of transformation. The first step is self-love, as a person who doesn't love themselves lacks understanding of love and its capacity to give and receive. Without this capacity, how can you interact with others and blend in?

It is recommended that you make an effort to alter your lifestyle by incorporating regular exercise into your routine. This is a cost-effective solution that requires no financial investment on your part. Allocate an hour each day to engage in physical activity such as running, stretching, or dancing to square dancing music with your neighbors. It is likely that you will experience a sense of well-being and a shift in your perspective after exercising.

When you experience self-doubt, carry an object with you at all times, such as a rubber band on your wrist. Whenever you feel self-critical or doubt yourself, tap the rubber band to refocus your attention on the present moment. Your brain can be deceiving, confusing you with past experiences and making you believe that future events will be similar. However, the future is not yet here, and you have the power to influence it. This method was once used by a renowned basketball player to remind himself not to commit fouls on the court due to emotional excitement. It has proven effective time and time again.

It is never too late to invest in your own professional development. Learning can help you address your current concerns and achieve your career goals.

I would recommend reading Adler's "The Courage to Be Disliked" and "The Courage to Be Happy." These books will help you to like yourself and enhance your self-worth. It would also be beneficial to learn some basic communication skills. These mistakes can sometimes be avoided for young people just starting out. Finally, it is important to be sincere. There are no fools in the adult world.

Read books on your own specialty to improve your professional abilities, but be aware that practical experience is the best teacher. Learning ability is most important in real practice. School knowledge is only basic theory and will not have much impact on your career. Even if you become a company executive in the future, practical experience will be even more beneficial for you.

After a month of following these suggestions, take some time to reflect on your experience. You will likely notice a positive change in your confidence, courage, and positivity. You are already making progress.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the best for the future.

Good evening, To whom it may concern,

My name is Xiaobai, and I am here to help. I hope I can provide some assistance in alleviating your concerns.

After reviewing your description, I would like to extend a supportive gesture.

I would like to take this opportunity to offer some of my views and suggestions, which I hope will be of assistance to you.

I am confident that the situation will improve.

Every flower has its own fragrance. You are still young and have a long career ahead of you. You can do what you want and become whoever you want to be.

Everyone in the world has their own growth trajectory.

Some individuals completed their studies at the age of 22 but waited five years before securing a suitable position. Some people graduated at the age of 28 and joined a Fortune 500 company that same year. Some individuals founded their own company by the age of 30, but passed away at the age of 60. Some people became company executives at the age of 60, but lived to be 90. Some people did not marry until they were 35, but had a happy life together.

▶️It is of no consequence whether one has a junior college degree. The value of education is not the degree itself, but the knowledge and expertise gained through it.

Therefore, it is important to relax and understand that you are not behind, ahead, or in a different time zone. Everything is happening at the right pace for you. Some people are in the right place at the right time, while others may not find it until much later in life.

However, this should not prevent us from living our lives to the fullest. Every individual who works hard deserves respect.

It is inevitable that everyone will make mistakes and make the wrong decisions from time to time.

It is important to recognise that nobody is perfect. Consequently, it is vital to adopt the right attitude towards mistakes. Mistakes are an inherent part of life and have intrinsic value.

Mistakes are often indicative of immaturity. As one progresses in life, many mistakes will be rectified.

It is important to recognize when an error has been made and take corrective action. The past should be put behind us and we should focus on the future.

You are your own worst critic.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience cycles in their lives, where they reflect on past challenges and recognize their personal growth. We all face difficulties, and this is a universal experience.

If you can get through it, you will find that life suddenly becomes clear. If you are unable to get through it, time will teach you how to deal with it. In the meantime, I hope you are eating well, living well, and dressing well.

If things are not going well at the moment, there is likely to be ten times or even a hundred times better luck ahead.

It is often the case that individuals experience the greatest distress when they are constrained by the limitations of the present moment. It is therefore important to avoid dwelling on these difficulties and to maintain a sense of self-assurance. By taking bold steps forward, individuals can create a positive future for themselves.

I encourage you to persevere in the face of adversity. With determination and resilience, you can achieve your goals.

In conclusion, I hope you will find these views helpful.

Best regards,

The author poses the following question:

I am grateful for your responses.

I do not wish to harbor negative sentiments toward him; however, I am experiencing a long-term delusion of victimization. I have discovered that this delusion is detrimental to my well-being. I referenced college because my mental state is increasingly impeding my ability to learn. In junior high school, I was enrolled in the city's top-performing school (the previous division), and I initially scored within the B-A range in all subjects. In high school (the second level of key classes), I regressed to the B-C-D range. In college, I remain in the middle to upper range. I am no longer on par with any of my former junior high school or high school classmates who were at the same level as me or who were not as proficient as me in certain areas but were comparable to me in others. They have all progressed beyond my current level of achievement. I have significantly declined, and I am becoming a liability.

During a seizure, I experience a significant decline in cognitive function, including memory loss, learning difficulties, and interpersonal challenges. This has led to difficulties in maintaining interpersonal relationships, a lack of support from teachers and the student committee, and a potential suspension from school. I question the value of pursuing a diploma when the cost is such a significant personal and academic toll. I am motivated to seek medical attention, however, my family does not prioritize my seizures or the impact they have on my studies. I experience a sense of regret and self-reflection. My knowledge base is fragmented, and during a seizure, I am forced to revisit fundamental mathematical concepts from elementary school.

The presence of hallucinations, delusions, sleep disorder, lack of awareness during a seizure, and uncontrollable emotional and behavioral responses during a seizure contribute to a strong desire to depart from this world. It is unclear what the expectations of those involved are.

Both parties have been adversely affected, and the situation has resulted in a mutual exchange of harm. It can be argued that the circumstances that led to my birth were unfortunate.

Hello, question asker! Thanks so much for inviting me to answer.

From what the questioner has shared, it seems that a misunderstanding led to a difficult situation with his father. This has unfortunately caused the questioner to doubt himself and lose confidence in the future.

I don't know how old the OP is, but I just want to tell them that no matter what mistakes you've made in the past, it's never too late to make amends and start over!

It's totally normal to feel lonely, helpless, and desperate when you're facing a tough situation. It can even feel like you're carrying an unbearable burden. It's okay to feel this way. We've all been there. It's also normal to feel like death is the only way out or the only destination when you're facing constant failure. It's a very human feeling.

There are always more solutions than problems! As long as the questioner is willing to face their problems and painful feelings, choose to solve the current situation rather than indulge in their feelings, they are already taking a step in the right direction.

The author's own account also mentions that she has repeatedly visited the psychiatric and psychological departments. I'm not sure what the author's current treatment effect is like, but I hope she's doing better! Mood swings, regression, and suicidal thoughts are all normal, and they're nothing to be ashamed of. I give the author a warm hug and ask her to believe that with the help of mental health experts, she will definitely be able to heal her mind and regain joy.

And I'm sure the questioner's request for help on the platform is also a way for them to keep trying, even when it's tough.

Since the questioner asked me for help on the platform, I'd love to give my opinion on how the questioner can make up for their previous mistakes.

Take a step back and look at the past with a fresh pair of eyes.

The questioner gave up his college entrance exam scores in order to take revenge on his father. When we look at this objectively, it's important to remember that this was not entirely the questioner's fault.

I think the father should take responsibility, too. It's so sad that the question asker took the college entrance exam as a way of revenge against his father.

How was the questioner treated by his father? Was the father too hard on the questioner during the college entrance exam?

Oh, my! What could have possibly made the questioner make this wrong move in a moment of hotheadedness during the rebellious period of youth?

I'm just wondering, who has been most affected by this incident? Is it the questioner himself, or is it his father?

Has the questioner ever been able to forgive himself for what he did at that time? It's so hard to know who to apologize to, isn't it? Yourself or your father?

I'm so sorry to hear that. What can you do to make it up to them?

Let's say the person apologizing is the questioner himself. If he missed out on a good university because of a momentary decision, should he just focus on getting into college or prepare for the postgraduate entrance exam? It's true that a single failure in the college entrance exam doesn't define a person's future. But by setting limits for oneself and giving up on oneself, we can determine our own future.

It's okay to accept your feelings.

Because of a wrong decision made in the moment, the questioner is now in such a situation. It's totally understandable to feel a range of complex emotions, including remorse, anger, and helplessness. These feelings can accompany and influence us, even causing us to fail when we're trying our best.

At their core, they truly want to let go of this past. But sometimes, their emotions get the better of them, and they find themselves spiraling out of control. To understand their hearts better, the questioner can ask themselves the following questions:

It's okay if you're afraid that admitting your mistake will make you feel inferior. We've all been there! Sometimes, we try to hide this part of our past and are ashamed to mention it to our family. But don't worry, be brave and apologize for what you did wrong. Your family will choose to forgive you, not blame you.

It's totally normal to want to defend yourself by doing other things, but it might be helpful to realize that your mistakes are there for a reason. People might think you're being stubborn, but you're really just trying to learn and grow.

Could it be that the questioner's inner self-esteem is preventing them from facing their own mistakes head-on? It's so understandable to want to find someone else's mistakes to cover up for your own.

It's so important to take the time to really understand and accept these complex feelings.

Just try to put yourself in his shoes for a moment.

It might be helpful for the questioner to try to put themselves in their father's shoes and think about it. If they were their father, how would they feel about this failure in the college entrance exam? How would they feel about the questioner's suicidal thoughts?

I wonder if my father felt the same way the questioner does? It's so hard to say. Did he feel hatred, anger and irritability? Or did he feel hurt, confused, frustrated and even desperate?

It's time to get out of your own hurtful emotions and perceptions of what happened. Try to think from another perspective. You might find that you feel differently again! Look back at your past self again. The main point is to forgive your past self. Forgiveness is the key to healing.

It can be really helpful to write down the reasons for making amends.

It's time for a change! Let's stop dwelling on the bad events of our past and transform our emotions into reasons to make up for our past regrets. Write them down on paper and start fresh!

Take a moment to think about how you can make up for the past self, and what regrets you can still make up for.

It's okay to admit when you've made mistakes in the past, especially when they've been caused by arrogance. Be honest with yourself, and remember that while both the father and the questioner played a role in the college entrance exam incident, the questioner is the one who is most responsible.

Take a look at the reasons you wrote down to make amends. Which one do you particularly want to make up for? It's totally normal to make mistakes when we succeed. We all do! So, let's examine the behavior patterns that extend from your past mistakes. Why do you always make mistakes when you succeed?

Take a good, close look at your fixed behavior patterns. Try to focus on them and try to correct them.

Take what you've learned from this and use it to grow!

The past is in the past, and it's time to look forward to a bright future! From the events of this college entrance examination, let's summarize the valuable lessons we've learned and help each other avoid making the same mistakes.

After this unfortunate incident, you're the best person to know these people. When you're faced with them, you have plenty of experience to help them strive for a positive outcome, rather than condemn them.

Forgive yourself for the past, forgive yourself, and let the present self make up for the past self. "The past cannot be obtained." Even if the questioner is not successful in many things now, it's so important to be grateful for self-forgiveness. Forgive yourself, and you can heal the harm the past has brought to yourself.

We all know that the past can sometimes cause us harm, and it can take a long time to repair the damage. If you find yourself facing financial difficulties when seeking help from a professional, don't worry! You can always turn to a public welfare aid organization for support. Just make sure you have every opportunity to do so.

If you're having suicidal thoughts, please don't hesitate to call the national helpline at 12338. They're there for you.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

Hello, question asker! I'm Enoch, the answerer. It seems the question asker hurt herself in the past because she wanted revenge on her father. Now she's trying to change things and find her own value.

Let me explain the real problem here.

1. Extreme actions lead to bad results.

The questioner's actions seem extreme and irrational. I don't know why the questioner hates his father and wants revenge. Revenge is hurtful to others and oneself. The questioner has suffered losses, including not going to a good university. Fortunately, the questioner has learned from consequences, realized his problems, and wants to make up for his actions.

The questioner is in pain and wants to solve the problem in a drastic way. But will this really solve the problem? It will just transfer the pain onto the family. This will cause even greater harm to the family.

2. Being unhappy makes you more negative.

The situation isn't as bad as it seems. The questioner may have focused on the negative side and ignored the positive. The questioner's family is seeking medical treatment, which shows they love the questioner. Perhaps the questioner has ignored the positive because he's too negative.

It doesn't matter that the questioner is at a junior college. Many people are at junior colleges, and many people have never gone to college.

This is not the worst thing. The questioner can go to college and take the postgraduate entrance exam. There are still possibilities and opportunities. I hope the questioner can look at things more positively.

3. You want to die and think destructive ways are the answer.

The famous psychologist Sigmund Freud proposed the theory of instinct. This theory explains human behavior from the perspective of instinct.

He believes there are two instincts in humans: the instinct of life and the instinct of death. The instinct of life represents love and growth, while the instinct of death represents hate and destruction.

There are two sides to the instinct to die. When impulses are directed inward, people limit their own power and become self-destructive. When impulses are directed outward, people destroy, damage, conquer, and violate others.

The questioner's previous revengeful behavior was destructive. It caused damage to others and to the questioner. The questioner now wants to destroy oneself and briefly damage others.

Here are some suggestions for the questioner:

1. Look for the good in life.

Happiness is a choice. People often suffer because they see problems in the wrong way. There are also many happy people and things around the questioner. They are happy because they see the beauty of life. The questioner can also see the good in life. They can face each day positively. They can have realistic expectations of life. They can focus on their own time and energy to create their own brilliance.

2. Stay calm and don't make hasty decisions.

I hope that in the future, the questioner can be more rational and calm. They should think about how their words and actions affect themselves and others. They should be careful, avoid acting impulsively, and try to act in ways that align with social norms.

3. Do more things that are good for you and others, and you will be happier.

To overcome death's instinct, do more good for yourself and others. This helps you and those around you. It makes you happier!

I hope the questioner can be happy and bring hope to themselves and others. Go for it!

We can also look for videos posted by older women with titles like "What happened to classmates who got zero points on the college entrance exam?" Some students rebelled against exam-oriented education and their parents by handing in blank answer sheets.

As it turns out, the biggest victim in the end is often oneself. This deliberate behavior of failing the exam and handing in a blank answer sheet has indeed harmed oneself. Parents don't need to take the college entrance exam, and the college entrance exam system itself doesn't require the college entrance exam either. From the current perspective, the exam-oriented system is currently a relatively fair screening test.

♠I dug a hole for myself and I'm still in it.

♠Is this how life is? Revenge on his father by failing the entrance exam

That moment, things took a turn for the worse, and I was fooling myself.

Fall into the pit.

It's a painful situation.

We still have the college entrance exams and high school entrance exams, and we'll still usher in graduation season in June and the start of the school year in September. These tests are still necessary because they allow rich and poor students to compete on the same stage and speak for themselves based on their abilities.

While the flowers are similar each year, the people are different.

⚛️⚛️⚛️ Be aware of the consequences of your actions.

⚛️⚛️⚛️ You still have the power to make your own choices.

No matter the reason, there's a result. As the saying goes, "Heaven has its ways, earth has its ways, earth imitates heaven, and heaven imitates nature." Many things operate based on the laws of nature and the laws of psychology. You now feel that life has unconsciously led to failure.

The resentment and deliberate sabotage of the past have had a lot of negative effects on you. It's similar to the way young people nowadays throw a fit. You're about to succeed, but you sabotage yourself, making you fail, annoying people, and making you weak and sickly.

This can lead to your advantages becoming disadvantages and your competitiveness being outmatched by others. Many people have had good resources since childhood, along with various special interests and hobbies, and good access to educational resources. They don't blame the world but use everything around them to climb up the social ladder and are grateful for it.

We should all try to do the same. If you can, take a look at your current situation. If you're a college student and you're feeling mentally depressed and world-weary with extreme thoughts, it's a good idea to call the crisis intervention hotline and find a professional and experienced psychological counselor to help you.

You might also want to consider letting go of the game because there is hope in living. Don't blame the world or dwell on your situation. Instead, use your time wisely and give yourself more room to relax. You can also learn from how other people have turned a bad situation into a good one. They may even be worse off than you, but they're still pushing forward.

ZQ?