I find it shocking and resentment-filled when my good friend calls me just an ex-colleague.

Hello, I am a heart coach. Live freely. Life is a beautiful journey.

1. My honey is poison to someone else.

People feel differently because they judge things differently. Some get annoyed by noise, while others just sleep with a hood over their head.

You feel like you can't lose her or do without her.

She mentioned you were her former colleague. This is because we all measure people and events with our own values and feelings.

You think of her as important, grateful, but not romantic. She feels your behavior goes beyond friend or colleague.

This makes you feel rejected and negates your feelings of gratitude towards her.

This makes you angry and lonely.

Keep a safe distance in relationships.

Distance creates beauty and security.

She helped you when she didn't have to.

You show gratitude and intimacy in your own way, but to the other person, it's controlling and causes problems.

Set boundaries, respect each other's space, and maintain your independence.

I understand you. You're just expressing your emotions, but "the meaning of communication lies in the other person's response." If they're affected, it's best to respect them.

In your relationship, see your needs and the other person's needs. Keep a safe and comfortable distance so neither of you feels awkward.

I hope this helps. I love you.

To continue the conversation, follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Good day,

From your description, it seems that you went from a place of dependence at the beginning to a place of possessiveness and finally resentment, which could be perceived as a shift from love to hatred.

It might be helpful to remember that both friendship and love have an intimate and committed element, but that love also has more passion than friendship, that is, physical desire.

It seems that your friend is concerned that you may have romantic feelings for her. Despite your repeated clarifications, she seems to believe that she does. It's understandable that she doesn't want to get too close to you.

If you rely too much on her, she may feel overwhelmed. In the subsequent conversation, the other person has indicated that there is a distance, but your emotional outburst may also be intimidating to her.

I don't believe your intention was to hurt her.

It seems that you are expecting her to share more personal details with you and are seeking a deeper commitment to the friendship. However, it's possible that she may not be ready for that level of intimacy. Friendship is not something that one person can decide.

It might be the case that even the closest of friends can sometimes drift apart. There is no need to demand a return to the way things were.

Such actions may inadvertently lead to a vicious cycle.

Perhaps it would be best to let things be for now. If someone has already made it clear that they don't want to continue, it might not be helpful to push the issue.

It is perhaps similar to breaking up with a lover. Once someone says they want to break up, it can be challenging for the other person to change their mind.

In life, we encounter and separate from others.

It would be beneficial for us to learn about the subject of separation.

It is inevitable that we will have to part with our loved ones at some point.

Sometimes, we have to accept that we can't stay friends with everyone.

Sometimes, it's necessary to part ways with a romantic partner.

It is also important to remember that separation can be a valuable part of our own personal growth.

I hope you will make new friends in the future. It's important to remember that we can't expect too much from others, as we all have different expectations and needs.

It's not realistic to expect one person to fulfill all your expectations of friendship. You might find it helpful to try making friends with different people. Best of luck!

Hello, I'm Zeyu, and I'm thrilled to be here!

"I think my best friend is saying that I am just an ex-colleague, which is very subversive and resentful." From the description, it can be seen that in the questioner's perception, your best friend has positioned you as an ex-colleague, which is an interesting turn of events!

A good friend has defined you as an ex-colleague, which has caused us to feel a sense of subversion of our values and has thus generated emotions such as resentment, unwillingness, and hatred. The current situation is that you cannot get in touch with the other person, which is very troubling. But don't worry! We can think about what we can do in the present moment.

The relationship has reached its current state, and there are so many ways we can ease our own emotions or reflect on the matter!

Now, let's talk about those negative emotions like resentment and hatred. It's important to understand that these emotions arise when we believe the other person has wronged us. This can lead to some pretty intense feelings! But here's the good news: we can choose to act differently. When we're driven by negative emotions, it's like we're on a one-way street to cutting off contact with the other person. And we can't get in touch with them again. This can make us feel troubled, but it's also an opportunity to make a change.

The topic mainly talks about your definition of the relationship, while the other party is just expressing their own views and thoughts about the relationship. In fact, the negative emotions we experience actually come from our inner denial and response to reality. But here's the good news: reality is that we make our own choices and actions, and the other party is just responding to our actions.

It's so important to remember that everyone has the right to express their own opinions. We can't force others to agree with us, even if they're our best friends. But we can work through our negative emotions and convince ourselves that we can handle anything!

So, we've reached a bit of a standstill in our relationship. But don't fret! There's still plenty we can do to turn this around. First, let's take a moment to regroup. Let's regain our senses, soothe our emotions, and then, once we've found some peace and quiet, let's think about what this relationship means to us and how we can make a change. We can absolutely change the situation or find a reason to let go of our obsession with this matter!

Dear questioner, My name is Duo Duo Lian, and it is my hope that my reply will prove beneficial to you.

A colleague and friend for many years, who has provided significant support and companionship, is of great importance to you. You experience feelings of anger and resentment, perceiving a lack of care for the relationship and a tendency to disregard your statements. Additionally, you acknowledge a desire for possessiveness and a sense of separation anxiety. You are able to discern these patterns in yourself and offer yourself constructive feedback.

The objective is to influence the other person to adhere to one's own way of doing things and to become an important friend. What can be offered to the other person to achieve this goal? What factors contribute to the maintenance of a friendship? It is essential to return to the basics, which include equal value, carrying capacity, and independent space. These factors must be present in equal measure. What are the feelings of the other person in this situation? This information is crucial to understand.

It would be beneficial to consider how your former nurturer treated you. Did you project your colleagues onto your nurturer and enjoy being taken care of by others? It may be helpful to return to your childlike state. It is important to recognize that you must do things your own way. If the other person complies, how do you feel? It is crucial to monitor your own emotions and behaviors to ensure that you do not become overly intense and inadvertently exert control over the other person.

It is evident that you desire the support, encouragement, and companionship of others. You perceive a strong correlation between the quality of your relationships with others and the importance of considering the feelings of those around you. However, it is crucial to assess whether you genuinely prioritize the feelings of others.

If one's partner blocks one's access, stating that one is horrible and disgusting, and one feels particularly angry and desires an explanation, one has no illusions about the nature of the relationship and wants to be validated. Can one resolve issues when one is in the midst of an emotional crisis? One's partner's indifference is precisely because they want one to calm down. If one's emotions are not aligned, how can one handle the situation?

It is not uncommon for a partner to be treated as a friend, yet not reciprocate this sentiment. Each individual has the autonomy to choose their own relationships, and different stages of life often require the support and companionship of friends. It is important to recognize that not all relationships are destined to last forever; rather, they evolve and change in value over time.

If one desires the other person to adhere to one's own way of thinking, what actions can be taken to provide the other person with what they need and make it difficult for them to leave? The other person has already demonstrated a high level of commitment and a desire to confront challenges alongside you. Otherwise, they would not have supported you for an extended period, providing a sense of comfort and autonomy in decision-making. This is what the other person desires.

It is imperative to cultivate self-care, self-companionship, and the capacity to enjoy solitude. One must also learn to accept oneself, fulfill one's needs, and strive to become the best version of oneself.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, questioner!

From your description, I can feel your inner confusion and helplessness, as well as your good awareness. It is so great that you are aware of this uncomfortable feeling and are brave enough to face it!

From your description, I can feel your dependence on your friend and some of his actions. It makes you feel aggrieved. Is that right?

Although I don't know what happened, I also feel that there is some misunderstanding between you, mainly because you may be more dependent on him and contact him more frequently, which has caused him some misunderstandings.

But here's something I also want to tell you. In fact, our relationships with others are all about our relationships with ourselves.

All problems are our resources, and we are experts at solving our own problems! When you become aware of something, you are already on the path to change.

Based on your description, I have some suggestions that I'm really excited to share with you that I think will really help!

First, let's get you aware and clear!

You'll say that he used to be a great support to you and that you relied on him. Now, his words have hurt you, and he thinks you're treating him like a lover, but you're not!

The more you explain, the more he panics. Staying away from you hurts you, makes you angry, and makes you feel uncomfortable. But you can become aware of the discomfort and anger behind this behavior!

What is it? Is it that you need him to care about you? You need him to be there for you? You need him to be as responsive as he used to be.

Then there's this need. Do you think we can get it by looking outward?

The power of seeking outside is always there for us! You just need to be aware of and sort out your emotions. Find a breakthrough!

Second, learn to let go!

I know that uncomfortable feeling inside you, and I'm here to tell you that you're not alone! I am also a person with a strong sense of dependency. I am also someone who needs to reach out to others to gain strength.

I totally get it! Sometimes when we let go at school, we let go of others, but more importantly, we let go of ourselves. This gives us a chance to catch our breath, look at ourselves again, and find ourselves again!

I'm so excited to tell you that I think you'll notice a difference if you try to let go! The most important thing in life is ourselves. Only by taking care of ourselves and adjusting our state can we

And that's how we can lead a relaxed and carefree life!

The great news is that you can also distract yourself or find positive experiences. And you can also adjust your state of mind by practicing positive self-talk and meditation!

And then, the most important thing you can do is learn to love yourself!

I don't know your living environment or your life experiences, but from your description, I feel that you have been looking outward for a long time. At this time, I personally suggest that you try to look inward and learn to love and respect yourself. It's time to start loving yourself! When we learn to love ourselves, we can have the ability to love and be loved.

And then, we'll have a sense of boundaries and be able to adopt a more comfortable mode of interaction with others!

And then, you can learn to release negative emotions!

I know you've always valued that friend very highly. His behavior has hurt you, but you can learn from it and grow stronger!

But at this time, I wholeheartedly suggest that we spend this energy on exercise. Let it out! When we let our emotions out, we gain strength and positive emotions, and we can walk away from this uncomfortable feeling.

And here's the best part: when you exercise, your brain secretes dopamine, which can help relieve uncomfortable emotions!

And finally, seek help from outside resources!

In life, each of us encounters many emotions, and these emotions may be related to our past experiences and our living environment. When we are unable to regulate them on our own, we can try to seek help from professional counselors, who can help us in so many ways! They can use their professional skills to deepen the roots of our subconscious, adjust our perceptions, heal our hearts, and give us the strength to face this problem.

And there's more! You can also read more psychology books or learn some psychology knowledge to heal yourself.

I want to leave you with this inspiring message: Life heals those who are willing to heal! As long as you don't give up, keep noticing, keep trying, and keep breaking through, you will be able to find a breakthrough to release this emotion in yourself, love yourself more, and live easily!

I'm thrilled to recommend a few books to you that I think you'll find really helpful!

I'm so excited to share these books with you! They're all absolute gems. First up is "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist." This one's a real page-turner! Then we have "The Courage to Be Disliked," which is a must-read. "Love Yourself Every Day" is a heartwarming tale. "The Brain's Code for Happiness" is a fascinating insight into the mind. And finally, "Mirror Exercises" is a fun and eye-opening read.

Dear Questioner, My name is Peilv.

Firstly, I would like to extend my sympathies to you in the form of a hug.

Interpersonal Relationships

Emotional Regulation

Data interpretation:

The questioner stated that individuals with whom they have been friends for an extended period believe that their relationship is limited to that of colleagues and do not regard each other as the "significant other" in their lives, as the questioner does. The questioner expressed feelings of hurt and difficulty in accepting this attitude. As a result, the questioner feels a sense of grievance and resentment. The questioner expressed a desire to monopolize the other individual and maintain the friendship. It appears that the relationship has become imbalanced, with the questioner experiencing rejection and a sense of being blocked by the other individual. In addition to feelings of heartache and resentment, the questioner also expressed feelings of unwillingness and resentment.

The following is a reason analysis:

There seems to have been a misunderstanding.

From your description, it seems that there may have been some misunderstanding between you that has led to your current situation. "I vaguely feel that she wants to use this positioning to break my romantic illusions about her (in fact, I don't have such illusions, but she always seems to think that I do)." As you said, she is very important to you, but you don't want to be in a relationship with her. It's just possessiveness. You can't bear to be separated from her, so you need to keep in touch with her every day.

It is possible that your actions have conveyed to her that you have other considerations regarding your relationship, prompting her to make a definitive statement about the nature of your relationship and requesting that you reconsider your stance. However, you are unable to accept this rationale and perceive her actions as a betrayal.

The following section addresses the topic of relationships.

The long-term stability of a relationship between two parties is contingent upon the mutual cooperation and recognition of both parties involved. It is evident that the relationship in question is not of an equal nature.

There is a discrepancy in your perceptions of the nature of your friendship. You consider her to be your most important friend, someone you rely on and trust. However, she appears to underestimate her status in your heart and is unable to comprehend your intentions. Your actions have exceeded her cognitive and psychological boundaries, causing her to feel overwhelmed.

Personal advice

Communication

It is understandable that being disliked and rejected by a good friend is challenging to accept in a short period of time. It is a normal reaction to have negative emotions such as anger and resentment towards her when faced with her explanation. Given that you were both angry at the time, it is understandable that your emotions would get out of control and that you would do things that went beyond reason.

Her refusal to contact you may also be a way for her to take time to process the issues between you and calm her overreactions. You may also wish to use this time to re-evaluate your relationship with her. You might want to wait until you and she have both calmed down before finding an opportunity to communicate properly, clarify your feelings, and clear up any unnecessary misunderstandings.

It is important to discharge your emotions in a reasonable way.

It is important to recognize that withholding grievances and dissatisfaction is counterproductive and can have adverse effects on both physical and mental health. It is essential to identify a constructive method for releasing emotions. This could include engaging in high-intensity, aggressive sports such as boxing or shooting, or utilizing writing as a means of articulating negative emotions and communicating with friends and family, which can effectively relieve stress.

Long-term mindfulness practice and meditation can help to improve emotional stability and relieve anxiety, which can in turn lead to an improvement in overall mental health.

Please advise.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my warmest regards to you and the world at large.

Hello. It's clear you're confused about interpersonal relationships. It's obvious your long-time colleague and friend has had a significant impact on you. You've developed possessiveness and separation anxiety towards her. You keep in touch with her every day, and as a result, she no longer responds to you.

She resists this, emphasizing that you are just casual friends.

You feel challenged in your world view, resentful, and want to deal with this disconnection. You have invested so much in the relationship that you cannot accept the loss.

I can feel your disappointment, confusion, resentment, and frustration. These emotions are likely a result of feeling rejected, experiencing a sense of loss from what was once an important friendship being downgraded to a casual relationship, and difficulty accepting the reality.

Everyone meets different friends and has different criteria for making friends. If the other person brings a positive influence, this friendship is worth cherishing. This is the feeling she gave you in the beginning. However, if one party is too dominant, the other party will become cautious and even fearful. This is why she avoids contact with you.

Everyone needs their own space. If you want to maintain a good friendship, you must keep a proper distance. "Distance creates beauty." You will lose what you try to hold on to. It's better to let go.

It is crucial to set clear boundaries in a friendship. Take a deep breath, calm down, and acknowledge your current emotions.

You need to adjust your expectations and accept the facts if you want to move on and actively seek self-growth. Sometimes we have to accept reality, and if you can't let go, then just leave it to time.

Best wishes.

In terms of emotions, it's important to avoid fighting for or suppressing your feelings. It's also crucial to recognize that emotional satisfaction is not something you can force another person to provide. Instead, you should focus on maintaining a balanced perspective, understanding that your emotions are influenced by external factors. Regardless of whether the other person is happy or unhappy, you can still hope for their well-being. It's also wise to let go of emotional intimacy and distance, and accept the natural course of things. The most important thing is to know how to truly love others, and to avoid or reduce negative emotions.

To truly love others is to wish and give others happiness, and to do so for everyone, the outstanding, the ordinary, including the weak. It is important to mentally accept and forgive, and to correct mistakes or shortcomings if possible, as everyone also has the right to happiness. People can bring each other spiritual comfort and even joy. It is beneficial to love and accept others and oneself, to tolerate shortcomings and deficiencies, and to be kind at heart, that is, to benefit others or society, not to disdain or reject ordinary people, not to be jealous or intolerant of outstanding people.

If you find that you don't connect with others on a deeper level, it can lead to feelings of negativity and emotional distress. It's important to cultivate a genuine love for others, adapt to different personalities and situations, and align your energy field with a more positive and loving state of mind. This can help you to more easily find and maintain loving relationships and careers. You can also share your thoughts, feelings, and interests with others in real life and online, such as through Douban communities.

It would be beneficial to embrace love and contentment in all aspects of life, including in one's personal relationships and in appreciating the smaller, everyday joys.

It is worth noting that negative energy can affect your health. To keep your body comfortable and healthy, you may wish to consider massaging your whole body. Head massage includes the forehead and face, which also have meridians. You might like to try massaging deeply and firmly with your hands, pressing the head with a hard massage comb, and avoiding pressing your stomach on an empty stomach.

If you find yourself experiencing negative emotions or thoughts, feeling uncomfortable or unhealthy, facing challenges in your interpersonal relationships, or struggling with family or work issues, it could be because you're overly focused on your own needs and have accumulated a lot of negative energy. The more self-centered you are, the more you may find it difficult to connect with others. Learning to truly love others, adapt to different situations, correct your energy field, avoid or reduce negative emotions, resolve conflicts, improve interpersonal relationships, and better solve the above problems could be beneficial. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can also support those around you in growing and changing together.

Give yourself a big hug!

Dealing with your emotions and the breakup can be a complicated process, but you've got this! Here are some suggestions to help you work through this step by step.

1. Accept the reality: First, accept that your relationship may have changed. It's okay to feel sad, but accepting the reality is the first step in dealing with your emotions.

2. Self-reflection: Take a moment to think about whether your behavior might be causing stress or discomfort for the other person. We all have different needs and ways of relating, so it's important to be aware of how our actions might affect others. Sometimes, too much dependence and possessiveness can be a burden for the other person.

3. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt: Even though you might be feeling a bit resentful and angry, it's important to respect their choices and boundaries. If she's choosing to keep her distance, it's probably best to give her some space.

4. Take care of yourself! Find healthy ways to deal with your emotions, such as journaling, exercising, meditating, or seeking help from a counselor. It's okay to express your feelings, even if you've been repressing them.

5. Make new social connections! It's a great idea to try to establish new friendships and social activities. This will help you get out of your current situation and enrich your life.

6. Focus on self-growth: This is a great chance to focus on personal growth and development. Learning new skills and developing new interests will really help to boost your self-esteem and confidence.

7. Time heals: It's so true that time is an important factor in healing emotional wounds. You'll be happy to know that as time goes by, you may find that your dependence on the relationship and resentment gradually decrease.

8. Get some help: It's always good to talk! Your friends and family will be there for you, and they'll be able to help you get through this tough time.

9. Try to avoid retaliation. We all get angry and hurt sometimes, but retaliation will only make things worse for you and the other person.

10. Learn to let go: Finally, learn to let go. It's so important to remember that sometimes, letting go is not only for the sake of the other person, but also for your own mental health and future happiness.

Remember, relationships are a two-way street that require effort and respect from both sides. It's so important to stay calm and rational when dealing with these complex emotions.

By following the above advice, you can gradually work through your emotions and learn how to better handle relationships.

Hello, thank you for your question. I hope that I can provide you with some helpful suggestions.

I do believe that there can be a difference in how we perceive our relationships with those close to us. For instance, I have observed that even among friends, there can be a natural hierarchy. A and B are good friends. A may hold B in high regard and view B as the best of all his friends. However, B may not necessarily value A as highly as A values B.

For example, consider a, b, and c who are all good friends. While a may view b as the primary friend and c as the secondary, c may have a different perception, viewing a as the primary and b as the secondary. This discrepancy in perception could potentially impact the quality of the relationship between a and c.

It is possible that we may find ourselves falling into one of three categories in our approach to making friends: A, B, or C. In order to navigate these situations successfully, it is important to have a clear understanding of the appropriate measures and boundaries in forming friendships.

We can both enjoy ourselves and those close to us, and we should be careful not to make those close to us feel pressured or uncomfortable.

Similarly, it is important to respect our friends and treat our emotions with care. If we find ourselves in the B position, it is vital that we maintain a cordial relationship with A and reciprocate their goodwill. Similarly, if we are in the A position, it is essential that we return the goodwill of C.

The second point is about the distinction between colleagues and friends.

It is possible that our colleagues only see us as colleagues, but we may treat them as friends because we have a good rapport with them or get along very well with them. Colleagues, whether it is due to their personality or mutual help, also give us a lot of company, which may create the impression that they also treat us as friends.

In such a case, it would be beneficial to communicate in a timely manner when we realize that our perspectives are different.

For instance, if you observe a discrepancy in judgment between yourself and a colleague, you might consider politely suggesting that you would like to transition your relationship from that of colleagues to that of friends. Even if the two of you may eventually leave the company and no longer be colleagues, it might be worthwhile to explore the possibility of maintaining a connection and becoming friends.

In the process of making friends, mutual respect is essential. If the other person does not have a strong desire to connect, it's important to give them the space they need. Respecting the thoughts and feelings of others is also crucial. Even if we don't achieve a very deep friendship, maintaining appropriate contact is beneficial.

Ultimately, it comes down to our emotions.

Perhaps the most pressing issue for us to address is the misunderstanding that has arisen between us. We have every intention of developing a relationship with this colleague that goes beyond the purely professional. There is even a possibility that we may become close friends in the future. However, from the perspective of a colleague, there is a chance that they may perceive our actions as indicating a desire to develop a romantic relationship with them. At this time, the colleague may feel uneasy and believe that we have crossed a boundary.

As friends, we can share interesting things that happen to us and sad things that happen to us, so we don't have to contact each other every day. Alternatively, we can choose not to contact each other every day, but we can still maintain our friendship.

However, if the situation progresses to a point where it becomes unclear or if it involves a romantic relationship, the dynamics change. In such cases, maintaining regular contact and a sense of each other's whereabouts and activities is often important, or the desire to be in each other's company.

It is possible that these two situations may lead to conflict. We may feel that we are doing nothing unusual, while the other person may feel offended and think that their personal space and time have been disturbed and affected.

We can take the time to sort out our current situation and our inner thoughts, consider what kind of relationship we hope to establish with the other party, and express our thoughts clearly. This will help us to eliminate any misunderstandings. Then, we can ask the other party how they feel and whether they hope to reach an agreement with us and establish a friendship.

As we move forward, it's important to communicate with each other. If we notice any behaviors or contact that is too frequent and causes distress to the other party, it's essential to adjust our approach promptly.

For the time being, we have lost contact, so it would be best for us to adjust our emotional state in time. If there is a day when we can contact each other again, we can work towards resolving the misunderstanding through conciliatory means.

If we are unable to contact each other or if our differences cannot be resolved, it may be best to give each other some space.

Everyone has the freedom to form friendships and social relationships, and it is important to respect their choices.

I hope that through self-reflection or with the support of a professional, you can gain a better understanding of your emotional state, refine your views on friendship, and make friends who share similar values in the future.

I would like to express my love for the world and for you!

Everyone's standard of living is different.

She sees your problem as simple.

In elementary school, teachers can answer high-level math questions. But students may need to work hard and get older to be able to solve high-level math problems.

Your colleague helps you because it's easy for her, but it means a lot to you.

Your former colleague may have chosen more capable friends or colleagues. She is also capable. Her life may be rich and efficient. You may only have her as a capable person who is willing to communicate with you.

You need to improve your environment and create a good life and work situation for yourself. You can strive to have all your future environments be as good as hers.

People with strong abilities can do things on their own and don't need friends. Not everyone can be friends with them.

The boss is the only one who can have a superior-subordinate relationship with them because of the salary.

People with strong abilities know that their attention and time are worth money and labor.

Good day, host.

It is my intention to be of assistance to you, and I am keen to receive your feedback.

A review of the question description reveals a palpable sense of distress and helplessness on the part of the original poster. It is my intention to extend a gesture of empathy and support.

Prior to responding to the original poster's inquiry, it is imperative to delineate the distinction between two distinct forms of judgment: fact judgment and value judgment. Fact judgment can be exemplified by the process of answering an exam question with a pre-established correct answer. To illustrate, if one were to be asked their height, a direct measurement would yield a definitive answer.

However, in the case of value judgments, there is no definitive answer. To illustrate, if I were to state that you are excessively tall,

This is a value judgment because the standard for what constitutes tallness varies from one individual to another.

It is first necessary to elucidate these two concepts in order to demonstrate that our responses are based on our own understanding, experiences, and values. Consequently, the perspective, direction, and train of thought of our responses are intended to be considered by the original poster. It is hoped that the original poster will not regard our responses as definitive.

Let us consider the confusion of the original poster. It is evident that the original poster's definition of a friend differs from that of this former colleague. From your perspective, you consider yourselves friends, whereas from hers, you are merely former colleagues. What is apparent here is a matter of value judgment. In reality, however, there is no issue from either perspective.

Similarly, one may consider the characters in books to be friends, given that they have inspired and helped the reader in times of trouble. However, these so-called friends are unaware of the reader's existence.

Furthermore, an analysis of the current dynamics between the two individuals reveals that they are exhibiting behaviors that are perceived as overly proactive, which has resulted in the other person feeling intimidated. Even in the context of a purely platonic relationship, it is essential to have a mutual understanding and agreement. In any relationship, whether romantic, familial, or otherwise, the fundamental principle is that it must be a mutual agreement between both parties. If there is a lack of mutual understanding and agreement, it is not a genuine relationship.

Furthermore, the host indicated that she had been calling the other person frequently. It is reasonable to conclude that any individual who observes such behavior will be intimidated, as the essence of a relationship is the establishment and maintenance of boundaries. Each individual possesses their own boundaries, and it is essential to operate within the boundaries that have been mutually agreed upon. If these boundaries are crossed, the result may be either a state of conflict or a complete dissolution of the relationship with the other person, which can be a highly problematic outcome.

Boundary theory was first proposed by social psychologist Irving Goffman in 1967. It focuses on how individuals establish and maintain boundaries in social interactions. According to boundary theory, individuals employ a range of strategies to delineate and maintain their boundaries in social interactions. This is done in order to establish an appropriate balance between the self and others. These strategies include:

1. Self-presentation: Individuals present their identity and personality to others through a range of behaviors, verbal and nonverbal communication.

2. Role-playing: Individuals assume different roles in varying social contexts to adapt to their environment and the expectations of others.

3. Emotional labor: Individuals regulate and adapt their emotional states in social interactions to align with social expectations and the needs of others.

Emotional boundaries are established by individuals when interacting with others in order to safeguard their emotional needs and feelings.

5. Cognitive boundaries: Individuals establish cognitive boundaries to filter and process information in order to achieve a balance between their own perspectives and those of others.

6. Spatial boundaries: Individuals establish spatial boundaries to safeguard their personal space and territory, and to maintain an appropriate distance when interacting with others.

A review of this theory reveals that the host and other individual exhibit distinct emotional and cognitive boundaries. In such a scenario, it would be prudent to allow the relationship to cool down for a period of time, as it is unlikely that the other individual will concur with the host's perspective. The most optimal course of action would be to disengage from the relationship.

Perhaps we are all seeking it. It is not my intention to evoke a particular emotional response in you; rather, I am interested in facilitating your own emotional experience.

The optimal outcome would be a mutual understanding between the two parties.

The current feelings of the host are understandable. This is a distressing and painful situation. There is a strong sense of dependence and anxiety towards this friend, while she pushes you away and rejects your friendship.

This contrast presents a significant challenge to acceptance. Therefore, the original poster must still define the relationship anew. According to her, the relationship between you may require redefinition.

One may attempt to view the relationship from the perspective of a casual friend and adjust expectations and behaviors accordingly. Concurrently, it is advisable to maintain a certain distance, allow for sufficient time and space between the parties involved, and refrain from contacting the other person for the time being.

During this period, it would be beneficial to focus on personal growth and development in order to enhance one's ability to navigate future relationships more effectively. A reflective approach, examining one's actions and emotions, can facilitate the identification of potential areas for improvement and adaptation.

This does not imply that the entirety of the blame lies with the individual in question; rather, it is the understanding of one's own behavior and emotions that can facilitate more effective responses to similar situations in the future.

It is my sincere hope that these suggestions will prove beneficial. It is always advantageous to seek feedback from the host and other interested parties, as well as to strive for attention and praise.

Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for providing a detailed account of the situation. It is evident that you view the other individual as a colleague and friend of many years. Could you please clarify whether you are colleagues during work hours and friends after work? Best regards, [Your name]

Colleagues are typically engaged in a professional capacity, whereas friends are individuals with shared interests and a common bond who engage in social activities together outside of work.

While colleagues may become friends, it is not a given that they will. It seems that you have unilaterally determined that the other person is your friend, likely because they are warm-hearted, have a good personality, and often reply to your messages. This makes it challenging for you not to believe that the other person also considers you a friend.

From the information provided, it became evident that the individual in question is male, while the other party is female. Given that the latter does not hold romantic feelings towards the former, it is advisable to refrain from unnecessary distress and to terminate the relationship.

It is unclear whether the discrepancy in treatment from other opposite-sex colleagues is the source of the discrepancy in feelings. It is possible that there was a prior positive relationship, but the use of the word "reconcile" after the initial comment may have been a significant factor.

It is also important to consider that the individual in question has departed from the company, and there is no longer a daily opportunity for interaction. The frequency of messages sent is such that it could be perceived as harassment. If one were in the same position, how would one feel if messages were sent daily from a former colleague of the opposite sex with whom one had a positive relationship, and one was obliged to respond, or else?

Even in the context of a friendship, mutual respect and personal space must be maintained. It is preferable to engage in conversation when the opportunity arises.

Hello, question asker! I can see the confusion you are facing now, but I'm here to help. Hugs to you!

You may see this colleague as a very important friendship.

But in her eyes, you are just a colleague—and a great one at that!

She might have blocked you because she feels that you are too possessive of her and have no sense of boundaries. This has affected her life, but it also means there's room for improvement!

Your separation anxiety may be related to your childhood experiences, which is totally normal!

When you were a child, your mother may have left you for a while, but she came back! This has led you to look for someone in a relationship.

But now you are an adult!

You've grown up! You're different from when you were a child.

For example, you are taller than you were as a child, your body is stronger than it was as a child, and your heart is also more powerful!

You don't need to look to other people for security anymore. You can give it to yourself!

Absolutely! There is a way to deal with this.

Absolutely! Do you still have any colleagues who work in the same unit as your former colleague?

If you want, you can write a letter to your former colleague!

Then have a colleague give her the letter you wrote!

But this may not necessarily be the result you want, so let's explore some other options!

It is possible that your former colleague read the letter you sent her and still won't contact you. But don't worry! This just means that your former colleague has her own life to live and you have yours.

If this is the case, you can accept that the friendship is over and move on to bigger and better things!

When friendship is over, you can accept this as a result—and then move on to bigger and better things!

I really, really hope that you can resolve this problem soon!

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm excited to see what other solutions we can come up with!

I really hope my answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner! I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!

Yippee!

Hello, dear author! It's like meeting someone in person when you read their words!

It sounds like you value this friend and are also very troubled and hurt by her definition of your relationship. But don't worry! You can solve this problem. First, try to calm yourself down. Resentment and unwillingness will not solve the problem.

Once you've calmed down, you can try to find a mutual friend and ask them to relay your thoughts to her, or write her a letter to express your feelings and thoughts. Who knows, she might even respond!

At the same time, you can try to expand your social circle and meet new people, so that you don't have to rely on one person for all your emotions. Most importantly, take care of your emotions and life, and don't let this affect your normal life. You've got this!

She may be allergic to the word "reconcile" because she feels that your relationship is not in a state that needs to be "reconciled," or she doesn't want to raise false expectations in you.

It's totally normal that everyone has different understandings and feelings about words! So, it's difficult for us to know exactly why she reacted that way. But, this also shows that there may be some differences in your understanding of your relationship, which is great!

Absolutely! You can definitely try to communicate with her to understand her true feelings about your relationship.

Dealing with possessiveness and separation anxiety can take some time and effort, but it'll all be worth it in the end! Here are some suggestions that may be helpful:

First, get excited about the fact that your possessiveness and separation anxiety are normal emotions! However, if they affect your life and relationships, you get to deal with them.

Embrace the reality! Celebrate the fact that friends have other important people or things in their lives. And accept that your relationship may not be as close as you would like—it just means there's room for improvement!

Cultivate independence! It's time to start building your own interests and social circles. This is a great way to become more independent and reduce your dependence on friends.

Finally, give yourself time and patience. Dealing with these emotions takes time, so don't expect to change immediately. The good news is that you can also record and express your feelings more!

This is the perfect blend of knowledge and action! I wish you all a happy and fulfilling rest of your lives!

Hello!

You're so lucky to have such a wonderful friend and colleague! She's been a great source of support, encouragement, and companionship for you. You consider the relationship to be very close and intimate, and you treasure her and need to be closely connected.

It's totally normal to feel possessive and exclusive in a relationship, but it's important to remember that she's not exclusive with her good friends. She has her own sense of proportion, and that's something to be celebrated!

It's totally normal to feel a bit down when you're apart from her. We all need to feel important, and it's great that you want to stay in touch every day. It's a relationship that's built on love and trust.

Your attachment and dependence are a bit overwhelming for her, bless her heart. The more you try to get close to her, the more she wants to escape, creating a relationship of escape and pursuit. Right now, she is still running away.

I think she's pretty amazing. She's got this strong, independent character, and she doesn't like to rely on others. She also doesn't like being relied on. But it's because of her strength and independence that she's able to support and accompany you, and become the important friend you've identified.

It's because of her strong, independent personality that she doesn't like anyone to cling to her like a vine. She wants to be her own person! She's an independent spirit, like a warrior.

She's so kind and helpful, and she doesn't want anything in return. She also needs you to maintain a certain distance so you can both be independent people.

She just can't handle that kind of borderless attachment, bless her heart.

You, on the other hand, have a strong sense of dependence on her and want to be in contact with her every day. I can see why you'd want that! But she cannot accept this sense of attachment.

So, the more you tried to get close to her, the more she kept her distance, and she finally fled. I'm really sorry to hear that.

She said that you are just ordinary ex-colleagues. But there's more to it than that! She has given you support, encouragement, and companionship that goes beyond that of an ordinary friend, and even more than that of an ex-colleague.

I think she said that just to put an end to your thoughts and to sever any ties between you in the future. It seems like that attachment has become a bit too much for her, and she wants to draw a line with you in the future. She's trying to ensure that she's not attached to you by cutting off contact.

But, bless her heart, her statement just isn't okay with you.

I can see how you feel. I think it's because you have already regarded her as your best and most important friend. I get it. She said that the relationship was not important, which caused you to resent her.

I think what she's trying to say is that she wants to move on from the past and start afresh. It's not about defining what kind of relationship you had before, but about making the current one work.

If you want to stick together, she has no choice but to leave completely. It's just that your attitudes and ideas about friendship are different.

I think that, with time, you'll be able to find the answer you're looking for. It's totally understandable that you're both feeling too emotional to clarify and continue your previous relationship right now.

I'm sure that when you've both had a chance to calm down, you'll be able to continue to adjust your relationship.

I think that if you want to be friends with someone who has an independent mind, it's really important to respect her independence. To be friends, it's so important to respect her personality and her needs.

Mutual respect is the key to a long-lasting friendship!

In addition, you said you have a strong separation anxiety, which is something you need to work through on your own. If you want to, you can contact a counselor to do further self-exploration and slowly solve your own issues of "strong possessiveness and separation anxiety" towards your friend.

With time and a little self-awareness, she was able to create a great friendship with her friend. It's a friendship that is comfortable, respectful of boundaries, and still connected.

I love you, and I know you love yourself too!

Hello! From what I can see on your account, it seems like you might have a subconscious fantasy about your colleague. Is this fantasy a romantic relationship? I'm not sure, but I think it's important for you to go within and find out for yourself. I do feel that you have a fantasy of the perfect object of "ideal motherhood" for her, which means that you have idealized and imagined the lack of maternal love in your childhood and projected it onto her.

As you said, she is very important to you, and you have a strong sense of possessiveness and separation anxiety towards her. So, did you experience separation from your mother during your growth process?

It's so lovely when a female colleague is there for you, isn't it? It's like she's your best friend, isn't it? You feel so safe with her, don't you? You feel like you can tell her anything, don't you? You feel like she really understands you, don't you? You feel like she's your rock, don't you? You feel like she's your biggest supporter, don't you? You feel like she's your biggest fan, don't you? You feel like she's your biggest cheerleader, don't you? You feel like she's your biggest ally, don't you? You feel like she's your biggest confidant, don't you? You feel like she's your biggest source of love and support, don

From her perspective, though, she treats you as a colleague, or at least as an ordinary friend. When you crossed the boundary and hoped to get her satisfaction, she felt violated and at a loss, so she expressed her rejection by avoiding you.

I just wanted to mention that you used the word "redeem," which is often used in relationships (and her sensitivity is totally understandable). It's totally normal to feel angry, resentful, and even hateful towards her evasive and indifferent attitude. Have you ever asked yourself what you really feel for her?

Are they really just colleagues? It's so hard to tell sometimes, isn't it? They've crossed the line of colleagues, but are they really just friends?

It goes beyond the boundaries of friendship. Could it be like a child who is attached to an object "mother" that satisfies their psychological needs and wants to keep it for themselves? So, when rejected by this "mother," you feel abandoned, and you become angry and hurt. Could all of this just be your fantasy?

I really feel that your past traumatic experience has re-enacted your relationship with your mother. (I'm just sharing my feeling with you, and I know you need to do your own deep perception.)

It might be helpful for you to be more aware of yourself, understand yourself, and ask your inner self what is going on. How do you get along with other female colleagues?

You know, the best way to see what's going on in your current relationship is to take a good, honest look at yourself.

If you want to get back to being colleagues, you just need to be careful about how you interact. Or, if you prefer, you can try to ask her to have a formal talk with you and tell her your feelings and thoughts. For example, she has helped you feel warmth like never before, and unknowingly placed her in an important position. You did not realize that your momentary irrationality caused a misunderstanding. You hope to get back to being colleagues and inform her that you will respect her feelings, abide by the boundaries between colleagues, and not interfere with her life.

It's so important to remember that, no matter what kind of relationship you're in, mutual respect and giving each other some space are the keys to keeping it strong and happy for a long time!

I really hope this helps!

Good day, my name is Xiao Junhai, and I am your point of contact.

I appreciate that you are currently facing a challenging emotional situation. Many conflicts arise from a lack of clarity or a misaligned perspective. You may wish to consider clarifying your position and the nature of your relationship with her.

The following steps can be taken to address this situation:

It is important to recognize and accept the reality of the situation. Initially, it is essential to understand that the nature of your relationship has undergone a transformation. She may have no desire to further intensify the bond between you or she may prefer to maintain a certain degree of distance.

It is important to respect her decision, even if it is difficult to accept.

It is important to address and manage your emotions. Resentment, hatred, and negative feelings only serve to exacerbate the situation. It is also essential to recognize that while we cannot control the thoughts and actions of another person, we can control our own reactions and responses.

It is important to reflect on your behavior and consider whether your actions or words may have caused your partner discomfort or stress. Sometimes, our possessiveness and anxiety can affect our behavior and cause the other person to feel troubled.

Allow yourself the time and space to recuperate and allow the relationship to cool down. This period can be used to reflect on your feelings and actions, as well as to explore new interests or relationships.

It is recommended that you attempt to communicate. If contact between you has completely broken off, you may need to respect her decision. However, if you still have other ways of communicating (for example, via email or other social media), you can try to express your feelings in a calm and rational way, while also respecting her position.

Finally, it may be necessary to learn to let go and accept the current state of your relationship. This does not imply that you have to give up on the relationship altogether, but rather that you need to learn to deal with it in a healthier and more positive way.

Sometimes, releasing what is no longer beneficial is a form of growth and progress.

I hope these suggestions will be of assistance to you. Addressing emotional issues requires time and patience.

Do not be in a hurry. Allow yourself sufficient time to recuperate and adapt. Concurrently, maintain an optimistic outlook and trust that more advantageous prospects and individuals will emerge in the future.

I wish you the best of luck and a happy new year!