I found birth control pills in my mom's bag today, but my parents have been sleeping in separate beds for six months?

Greetings, inquirer.

I am Kelly, and I am also a mother. I perceive that you are highly perceptive and concerned about the stability of your parents' marriage. Given your efforts, I encourage you to extend some self-compassion.

[Regarding the marital status of one's parents]

It is also the case that arguments between parents are analogous to arguments between couples. Given that both parents are adults, it would be prudent for the questioner to allow them to resolve the matter independently.

The institution of marriage is inherently complex, as is the broader domain of adulthood. It is not feasible for me to provide a definitive response in this context; therefore, it is advisable to place trust in your parents and allow them to navigate their own affairs.

✍️Your Mood

I empathize with your sentiments. During my formative years, I observed my parents engaged in disagreements, which instilled in me a profound fear that they would ultimately separate. Prior to our departure from the family home, we perceived our parents as the epitome of our world. However, upon my enrollment in a boarding school and subsequent departure from the family residence, I began to discern that a time would inevitably arrive when both parents and children would embark on separate paths. Many individuals embark on a new phase of life upon their enrollment in a university. You are no exception. You have formed a bond with a significant other and are experiencing the joy of love. Gradually, we invest our emotional attachment to our parents in the broader world and in our interpersonal relationships, while simultaneously maintaining our autonomy.

✍️【Boundaries】

It is important to discuss the concept of boundaries in the context of family relationships. While family is an intimate relationship, it also requires mutual respect and trust. For example, one might accidentally discover birth control pills in their mother's bag. While this discovery was unintentional, it raises a crucial question: if one's mother is helping a close friend, what are the implications for the boundaries of the family relationship?

I have experienced a similar situation. A close acquaintance of mine desired a medical abortion, and I assisted her in procuring the necessary medication.

For the sake of argument, let us assume that:

One might also consider the possibility that the mother's actions might provoke a negative reaction from the father, resulting in a conflictual situation. Similarly, it is possible that the mother's intentions might be to arouse jealousy in the father.

Additionally, consider the following scenario: What would be your emotional response if your mother and father were to peruse your belongings, such as your bag, letters, or diary? It is important to reiterate that all individuals should respect each other's privacy.

In the event that one's mother and father make physical contact with one's belongings, it is possible to convey to them that such actions are unwelcome.

✍️[Your task]

Please confirm whether the questioner is still a student.

It is recommended that you focus more on yourself and read the books in question with greater attention. By doing so, you will be assisting your parents in maintaining a happier family dynamic and allowing them to participate more actively in your academic pursuits. This includes exploring your future career and major, which will help them understand your growing independence and the need for their support.

It is recommended that:

Parents and children can engage in joint reading of psychology books, such as Developmental Psychology and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

It is important to express one's love and emotions directly to one's parents. One can, for instance, invite one's mother for a walk or one's father, alone or together, to discuss one's complex feelings towards them and express one's hope that they will not quarrel.

✍️[Regarding your reservations]

In some cases, doubt may be a mere assumption, devoid of factual evidence.

✍️[You are concerned about the potential for losing your parents and getting divorced.]

If they do not divorce at this time, it is possible that they may not do so in the future. This is consistent with my own experience and that of many other individuals in my social circle, including my own marriage. After periods of conflict, couples often find ways to resolve their differences and grow together. This is a common pattern in family dynamics.

It is inevitable that there will be different conflicts at each stage.

Conversely, even in the event of a divorce, the child will remain the parents' sole offspring, and their parental affection will remain unaltered.

Furthermore, it is not a certainty that these eventualities will occur.

If the aforementioned concerns are causing distress, it may be beneficial to suggest to your parents that they seek the guidance of a marriage counselor. This could help identify potential issues in the marriage and facilitate the resolution of any conflicts.

Anxiety can also impact academic performance, emotional state, and overall well-being.

It would be beneficial to discuss your concerns with your mother.

Given that the original poster has sought to address issues and obtain solutions, it may be assumed that you, too, possess your own opinions.

It would be beneficial for you to first mature emotionally and gain an understanding of your parents' marital issues, including their interpersonal dynamics and communication patterns on a daily basis, in order to ascertain which problems remain unresolved.

You conduct yourself in a manner befitting a good child, demonstrate academic rigor, communicate with sincerity, and repose trust and respect in your parents. You also hold the conviction that, over time, they will come to share this sentiment.

It is my hope that this response will prove somewhat helpful to you.

I would like to extend my sincerest congratulations.

My name is Kelly.

I extend my affection to the entire world and to you.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first.

As a child, you might feel resentment, anger, fear, helplessness, and powerlessness when your parents' marriage goes south and you realize your mom might have betrayed your dad.

Let yourself feel all those painful emotions, especially the sense of helplessness and powerlessness. Then try keeping an emotional diary to record your feelings. This can help you see, express and release them, which might help you feel better.

When parents are unhappy in their marriage, the person who is most affected is usually the child. This is because children can't protect themselves as well as adults can. They often blame themselves for their parents' problems. This can make them feel guilty, ashamed, and helpless. If they don't get help dealing with these feelings, they can become traumatic memories.

If you're feeling the effects of your parents' unhappy marriage, you can try to have a heart-to-heart with them about how you're really feeling. It's important to respect their decisions, even if it means they separate. One thing to remember is that their love for you as parents won't change. It's just a shift in their lifestyle.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think the separation of your parents will reduce your love for them, nor will it reduce their love for you.

I'm Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now. I'm here to support you!

You're going through a rough patch. Let me give you a hug.

You're starting to think your mom might be cheating, but just because there are condoms in her bag doesn't mean she is.

There's really only one thing you need to know: in this life, there are only three things to know in this world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven.

The above ideas come from the book A Change of Heart.

The world of adults is pretty complicated, and things aren't always clear-cut.

You might not understand the truth until you grow up and start a family of your own.

Your parents are adults, so you have to trust that they can handle their own relationship.

Your best bet right now is to study hard and work hard at your studies, and try to get good grades.

This is the best way to show your parents that you appreciate all they've done for you.

I really hope we can find a solution to your problem soon.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

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