I grew up in an environment where I was not recognized. Why do I crave love so much?

It is a fundamental psychological principle that everyone has a need for love and belonging. It is therefore normal for you to crave the love and attention of others. This is not a mere preference, but a fundamental human need. There is no reason to doubt this.

A lack of love during childhood can result in an increased desire for love and affection as an adult. It is essential to recognize that everyone has an emotional need for love and support from both parents and other significant individuals in their lives, such as grandparents or extended family members.

As a child, I was under the impression that my grandfather held negative sentiments towards me due to my candid nature.

During my formative years, I perceived myself to be lacking in physical attractiveness and to possess a forthright nature, which set me apart from my peers who were perceived as more lively and attractive. This led me to believe that my teacher did not hold me in high regard.

During my formative years, I was subjected to teasing by my classmates due to a perceived shortcoming. Subsequently, when I became unwell, I experienced a similar lack of acceptance from acquaintances.

Without practical examples, I am unable to make a judgment. These feelings are not indicative of reality.

Psychologist Burns identified ten cognitive distortions.

1. All-or-nothing thinking

All-or-nothing thinking is a cognitive bias that leads to a binary, black-and-white perspective. It often fails to consider the nuances of a situation and instead makes sweeping judgments.

2. Overgeneralization Overgeneralization is a cognitive distortion that involves taking a specific instance and extrapolating it to a much broader conclusion. It is a form of cognitive distortion that can lead to faulty decision-making.

Generalizing from one's own experience is drawing very generalized conclusions based on one's own experience of one or a few occasions. From two perspectives, for ourselves, perhaps often because of one thing we have done wrong, we directly and comprehensively negate ourselves as a whole. For example, an employee may say, "I drew this part wrong."

"My whole painting is ruined," but in fact, one or two minor flaws can be fixed without negatively impacting the overall quality of the painting.

3. Mental Filter

This mode of thinking is a form of "selective absorption," which entails focusing unduly on the negative aspects of a situation while disregarding the positive ones.

4. Failure to consider positive aspects

Mental filtering disregards positive aspects, while derogatory thinking is negative in its assessment of positive elements.

5. Drawing premature conclusions

Two examples of this situation are "mind-reading" and "foretelling errors." Mind-reading is the act of drawing conclusions without a factual basis, based on speculation about another individual. For example, when an invitation is

In such instances, it is common to jump to the conclusion that rejection from a friend indicates a lack of worthiness or interest. However, this interpretation is often misguided, as it fails to consider the possibility that the friend may be preoccupied or have other commitments.

6. Magnification or Minimization

Disproportionate exaggeration is often the result of viewing oneself as wrong, fearful, or imperfect. Ordinary negativities are often perceived as catastrophic, as evidenced by the following example: "Any situation I am in absolutely has to go my way."

"Otherwise, it is unacceptable. I am unable to tolerate these circumstances. I am unable to achieve a positive emotional state."

7. Emotional Reasoning

The core equation of this way of thinking is: "Feelings = facts." Due to a strong emotional response to a particular situation, individuals may rationalize these complex aspects and use emotions as the basis for facts. For example, an individual may believe that they are unable to perform a task effectively due to their emotional state.

"I'm sure I can't do it well, and that's a fact." However, there is no evidence to suggest that this is actually the case.

8. Should Statements

Thinking in terms of what should and shouldn't be done, and defining oneself in terms of external standards, will result in the neglect of one's actual feelings and thoughts.

9. Labelling

Labels have a significant impact on how individuals and groups of people are perceived and defined. They often influence how people see themselves and others in judgmental ways, rather than in a descriptive manner. This can have a notable effect on an individual's self-identity and self-worth.

10. Personalization and Blame This is the tendency to ascribe personal responsibility for events or circumstances, rather than recognizing the role of external factors.

Internalization can result in feelings of guilt, which can have a detrimental impact on self-worth and mental health. It is therefore important to learn to distinguish between what others should be responsible for and what we ourselves should be responsible for.

Your past feelings include leaps of reasoning and emotional reasoning.

This is, in fact, a cognitive distortion. It is possible that the truth may not align with your feelings on the matter.

Hello, question asker. I admire your courage in attempting to navigate the challenges you're facing. It takes a great deal of strength to step out of the darkness and seek the light.

It is only natural to be born as a human being and to receive the attention, recognition, approval, care, and concern of others. Just like a flower, we need sunlight and rain, we need the nutrients in the soil. Without love, it would be challenging to survive. The environment in which we live may be relatively barren. It is a bit like the "unknown lily in the lonely valley." Apart from eating, drinking, going to the toilet, and sleeping, we also have higher-level needs as primates – spiritual needs, the need to be loved and liked, and the need to be accepted. You have a noble and stubborn soul, so it's important to remember that you are worthy of love and acceptance.

It might be helpful to remember that someone loves you and can meet your spiritual needs. It's as simple as that.

As we grow up and gain the ability to look around and within, we may still lack the opportunity to be seen. However, we can still actively see. It is important to ask ourselves: do we love ourselves enough? How do we evaluate ourselves?

Could I ask you to consider whether you accept your honesty? And whether you accept your illness?

Have you ever considered allowing your feelings and emotions to flow freely? In a safe environment, how do you feel after experiencing repeated instances of being overlooked or ignored?

Perhaps you might consider ignoring your spiritual needs, thinking that you will never get a response from the world again. However, the truth is quite different. On this platform, you can feel that "the world and I love you." At this very moment, I am willing to see your loneliness, and there are more answerers who are willing to work with your emotions. This is irrefutable evidence that you are deeply loved by the world.

I am a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili. You are welcome to talk to me and continue to interact on the platform. I will do my best to listen to you and support you in any way I can.

Good day,

From observing the landlord's interactions with the original family, I came to understand that I was not fully acknowledged.

It can feel as though you are being rejected, and you may feel helpless and powerless as a result.

It is natural to hope that they will accept and love you.

Perhaps they don't yet know how to care.

It might be challenging for them to care for themselves, and they may have been in a difficult situation for a while.

You have experienced a great deal and have grown as a result.

The desire to be loved is a gentle expression of the heart's longing to be remembered.

When in contact with the outside world, it is natural to seek a sense of security and belonging. It is like feeling cold and thinking of a warm bed and a southern island.

This is a natural human desire for survival.

It might be said that only when the basic conditions for survival are met can a better life be created.

It would be beneficial to consider that a longing for love due to a lack of love from family members in life may result in a misperception of love, making it challenging to obtain the nourishing love we all deserve. This longing may also lead to repeated self-negation.

I believe that being natural is the best essence. It is also my belief that it is impossible for members of the original family to interfere too much.

If you can truly see yourself, face yourself, and embrace your vulnerability, you may find that you gradually gain the strength to accept yourself.

It may appear that good is defined by bad.

You may find yourself feeling drained and exhausted.

As one's self-understanding deepens, it may become apparent that being recognized for being "good" can potentially lead to a sense of relinquishing one's right to choose and speak for oneself.

It is important to be mindful of how our actions are perceived by others, especially when we are concerned about their opinions.

It may be best to allow change to occur naturally.

Hello! I'm Jia Ao Bu Xun.

You told us that your family wasn't good to you. You said that your elders didn't like you and that your teachers teased you. It felt like no one liked you. You want to be loved and liked by someone. Why do you think this way?

? I feel for you! I can see my childhood in you. I felt like no one would like me, that I was ugly, and that I was an introvert.

We all feel vulnerable and helpless as children. Some people recover quickly, but others struggle. You can recover and make a change. It depends on how you think about things in the future.

Why do you crave love so much after growing up in an unloving environment?

Let's analyze and sort it out.

1. Accept yourself.

Psychology says that a lack of love leads to dependence, compensation, and seeking from the inside out. Each of us has strengths and weaknesses. The more we lack love and care in our childhood, the stronger our desire for love will become. This manifests in a mentality of lacking love, trying to please others, and seeking compensation. We feel insecure, sensitive, and inferior.

It's not hard to understand why you have these thoughts now. You just want to be favored and cared for by others. You were ignored as a child and never received care or recognition. Hugs and kisses ♥

2. Learn to love yourself.

To change your mindset, accept yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. Believe you are special and don't let others belittle you.

Learn to care for yourself. Love yourself. If you didn't get enough attention as a child, start by recognizing yourself. It's harder to seek attention from others.

What others do is none of our business. We can't change it. We can only change ourselves. Becoming different is a great progress.

3. [Be more confident]

If you want others to recognize and appreciate you, you have to make yourself stronger and better. Work hard and you'll become more confident. You'll be more courageous and strong, and you'll be less affected by others' opinions.

Be confident and believe you are as good-looking, special, and outstanding as you are. You deserve to be loved and respected. Relax and enjoy your life. Learn a little psychology. It can make you stronger and more confident. Good luck!

I hope my answer helps. I love you!

I am pleased to have this opportunity to share my views with you.

It is imperative to maintain a sense of self-assurance and recognize that one is inherently valuable and worthy of love. There is no necessity to substantiate one's worth or experience shame.

"Why do I desire love and affection? What benefits can be derived from another's positive regard?"

How does psychological theory account for the desire to be loved in the context of such a childhood?

One might inquire as to the motivation behind the desire to consume sustenance when experiencing hunger or to imbibe liquids when thirsty.

One might inquire as to the motivation behind the desire to consume nourishment when experiencing hunger or to imbibe liquids when thirsty.

As these are some of our instinctive needs as human beings, the need to love and be loved is no exception.

Maslow arranged human needs in an ascending order into five categories: physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. The social needs category includes love and belonging.

To summarize, the need for love is a fundamental human requirement that transcends individual upbringing and rationale. It is as intrinsic and rational as the daily occurrence of the sun rising.

In essence, the need for love is intrinsic and universal, irrespective of an individual's upbringing or circumstances. It is a fundamental human desire, akin to the sun rising daily, a natural and reasonable phenomenon.

The answer to the question is, in fact, embedded within the question itself and within the individual's own heart. The individual's insecurity is such that it leads to doubt in the individual's own heart. In order to confront this doubt, the individual must first receive affirmation and recognition from others.

The answer to the question is, in fact, embedded within the question itself, as well as within the individual's heart. The individual's insecurity is such that it leads to doubting one's own heart. However, the individual is only willing to confront this doubt after receiving affirmation and recognition from others.

Your writing evinces a sense of restraint, constraint, and care. It appears that numerous aspects of your actual life are proscribed. Might your past experiences have led you to conclude that individuals who claim to be benevolent or endeavor to demonstrate their virtue will be regarded with disdain and repudiation? Alternatively, might they be deemed "arrogant and narcissistic"?

If an individual is raised in an adverse environment, subjected to unjust treatment, and lacks a sense of love and belonging, it can be considered a tragedy of an era. Similarly, when an individual enters society and is able to exert some control over their life, yet still perceives the world as an unfair and loveless place, it can be seen as a personal tragedy.

It is imperative to refrain from allowing the tragedies of one's environment and circumstances to become a personal tragedy. One must adopt the mindset of a warrior, confronting and overcoming whatever one deems unfavorable, and continually reminding oneself that one's life is in one's own hands, not in the hands of fate.

Good day. I am Xiao Dong, a practicing psychologist, and I extend my best wishes for your continued well-being.

Good day. I am Xiao Dong, a practicing psychologist, and I extend my best wishes for your well-being.

Dear questioner,

I'm really sorry to hear that your question made you feel sad.

I'd absolutely love to chat with you! I'm here to give you comfort and a little inspiration.

1. We all have a deep desire for love.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs tells us that, on top of our basic physical and safety needs, we all have a deep-seated desire for love and belonging.

No matter how much love there is, we always want more!

This is especially true for folks who've felt unloved since they were young. They just naturally want to be loved more.

It's like a thirsty person who craves water.

It's only natural that we want to be loved more, especially when we've felt a lack of love since childhood.

I really think it could make you feel better.

On the other hand, someone who has grown up in love and has always been loved feels loved all the time. They don't seem to seek attention or long to be loved.

And you know what? Someone who always feels that love is not enough for them will always want to be loved.

I'm sure you'll agree that this is easy to understand.

Because of the lack, the longing is even stronger, my friend.

2. You can take some time to think about what kind of love we need.

When we're feeling unloved, it's only natural that we crave that love.

And love needs to be real and tangible.

I'd love to know what kind of love you're longing for!

Do you long to be understood? Do you long to be noticed? We all do!

Do you feel like you're being valued? Do you feel like you're being seen?

Do you want to be recognized? Do you want to be helped?

And being accompanied...

And what would make you feel loved and liked by others?

Once we've gone through each of these, we'll be able to see what we're missing and how we can make up for it.

3. Learning to feel love and loving yourself is the ultimate answer!

Sometimes, it's not that other people don't love us. It's just that we can't always feel it, or that what they give us isn't always what we need.

We all want our parents to encourage and recognize us, but let's face it, they're only human and their main concern is that we're well-fed and clothed. It's only natural that we sometimes feel like we're not receiving enough love.

When we learn to feel love and express to our loved ones and friends what kind of love we need, we're more likely to receive love in return!

You can also try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and see if what they do is also an expression of love.

Have you ever had the chance to ask your sweet grandfather if he really doesn't like you?

Sometimes our feelings aren't always right on the money.

It's totally normal to feel like you're not lovable sometimes. It's a common feeling, and it's okay to have it. When we don't feel lovable, we tend to think that other people don't like us.

When we love ourselves well and know our unique value, it's so much easier to feel the love of others towards us.

"Love gives back love." Especially when we give love, it makes us feel so rich and full of love!

It's so true that love is something that comes naturally to us.

When we have love in our hearts, we can give love and feel love. It's so wonderful when that happens!

It might take a little while, but it'll be worth it!

We don't love ourselves just because we want to. We need to learn to do it, and we can!

And when you respect your own feelings and understand yourself, you'll find it's easier to understand others, too!

And love is also not simple, sweetheart.

I really believe that love needs to be learned, and I'd love for you to read this book.

I really hope you get to feel all loved up! And I hope you love yourself and others too.

The world and I love you so much!