I have always struggled with my personality, feeling like I'm alone on a deserted island since childhood.

People have different values. If you ask someone if they have close friends, they will probably say they have two or three.

Even if they seem to have many friends, they know they're not really close.

So think about the following two things.

(1) Some people seem to have many friends, but they only have one or two or three true friends. Don't beat yourself up for having only one.

It's okay to have one.

If you can open up to four, ten, or twenty people and become close friends with them, you should ask yourself, "Do you consider these people to be close friends? And do they consider you to be a close friend?"

Close friends need to be nurtured. You have limited time, so if you divide it among 20 people, each person will have very little time to spend with you. If you don't nurture your relationships, after two years they will no longer be close friends.

"

Many people don't need to get along with you. Relatives and classmates only need to communicate normally.

(2) You said you don't get along with people. This should be looked at in three parts.

Hobbies, analytical ability, and knowledge and information.

When you chat with others, you can't avoid these three types of topics. If you like history but don't like celebrity gossip, and the group is talking about Ma Yili's divorce, you can't chat about it.

If you can talk about it, it's interesting.

If you can't chat because of different interests, don't worry.

Everyone is talking about social and economic development trends. If you can't keep up, you need to worry.

Read more articles and books in your spare time. They should be the kind people in your circle usually talk about.

Everyone is talking about analyzing and judging certain issues. If you can't continue, it's because your analytical skills are not good enough. You need to worry. Reading articles and information won't help. You need to think and practice.

It depends on who you usually talk to. If they don't talk about analyzing and discussing problems, it's fine. If they do, you need to work on your skills.

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

You have felt the loneliness in your heart since you were a child. You have longed to be listened to, understood, accepted, and welcomed.

First, understand that your inability to actively integrate into relationships and communicate well with others is not a reflection of your personality. Your personality is often influenced by genetic factors and is challenging to change through active efforts. When you attribute your lack of communication and exchange to your personality, you are essentially accepting that your lack of communication and exchange is difficult to change. This then influences your words and actions, leading you to believe that you are just like that.

Let's be real. People tend to avoid communication and interaction when they don't feel safe. It's a simple fact. You feel like you won't be accepted, understood, or approved of, so you choose to stay silent.

Once you feel safe, trusted, and in control, you will no longer remain silent. You will express yourself bravely because you feel accepted, understood, supported, and approved of.

Don't worry about your communication skills. When you become aware of this, you can deliberately adjust your state. Especially when you are in a situation with people who make you feel safe, seen, accepted, and understood, you can express yourself bravely.

You can also record your true feelings in writing when you are not good at communicating and interacting with others. This helps you to better perceive and understand the hidden needs behind your current behavior, so that you can find better ways to respond and meet your needs.

I am Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Pavilion. The world and I love you.

Hello! I totally get where you're coming from.

"Don't say that other people don't want to socialize with me. Even if they do, I can't get along with them."

I'd love to know more!

Do you think it is your fault if "others are willing to socialize with you, but you can't get along with them"? What do you think is the reason for the lack of chemistry?

What do you want to get out of socializing and chatting with other people? There are so many possibilities! You could choose to feel less lonely, to have someone to talk to, to let off steam, to find a soulmate, or to seek support.

What's your style when it comes to chatting with others? And do you feel totally comfortable with the way others chat with you?

These questions will help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and others. You'll also get a great start on making positive changes!

There are so many ways to communicate!

And there are so many other ways to communicate, too! Reading, traveling, or doing something you find interesting is also a form of communication.

And sharing your happiness and sadness with others is also a form of communication!

Being with others all the time, drinking, chatting, and having fun may make you feel less lonely, but it may actually be another kind of loneliness, one that hides your deepest loneliness. But don't worry! There's a way to beat this feeling.

So don't be fooled by appearances! Set your goals, step out of your closed circle, live how you feel, and become the person you want to be. You'll be amazed at how this will help you to feel less lonely!