I have self-harmed before and have attempted suicide more than once. What should I do if I am afraid to see a psychologist?

Hello, questioner. I'm not the most confident person, and I can relate to feeling like an old, skinny donkey.

I empathize with the feelings expressed by the questioner. When I was a child, after my mother hit me, I would scratch the back of my hand until it bled. I would think that my mother didn't love me, and I didn't need to love myself. In hindsight, I realize that I was very naive.

It would be beneficial for the questioner to identify the underlying reasons that may be causing them to engage in self-harm or even suicidal thoughts. I can personally relate to this as I recall a time when I experienced similar feelings after failing the college entrance exam. It was a challenging period for me emotionally.

I can relate to this feeling from my own experience. I once became pregnant outside of marriage and was initially too ashamed to face my parents and colleagues. However, I was relieved to find that my parents did not blame me when they found out, and my mother even came to take care of me during the postpartum period.

I was initially hesitant to interact with my colleagues due to my unexpected pregnancy shortly after starting work. Additionally, following the birth of my child, I experienced a challenging period in my family dynamics. I recall feeling so overwhelmed that I contemplated taking drastic action, including jumping from a building with my child in my arms. Fortunately, I was able to navigate these challenges and emerge stronger.

I am grateful to have a stable job, a lovely child, and mutual respect with my in-laws.

As the saying goes, if you're not afraid of death, what are you afraid of? It could be said that when a person is at the lowest point in their emotional state, they are unable to consider such matters.

I would gently suggest that the questioner consider changing his mood.

1. It may be helpful to avoid situations that tend to evoke strong emotions. I found that living separately from my family after the relationship could not be reconciled was beneficial.

2. It might be helpful to find something that makes you happy or gives you a sense of worth, which could help to increase your positive mental energy.

3. You might find it helpful to read some psychological books to gain a better understanding of your current situation. Accepting its existence and reconciling with your bad mood will help you digest it. You may find "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist" to be a helpful resource.

4. It would be beneficial to express your emotions. It is important not to suppress them. If you do, they may intensify and become more challenging to manage. You can discuss them with a stranger. They are not familiar with you, so there is no concern about affecting those around you. Alternatively, you can find a way to release your emotions in a constructive manner. I find screaming to be an effective method.

5. It might be helpful to find someone to help you release your emotions, whether it be someone with more life experience than you or a psychologist. The questioner said they were afraid to see a psychologist, so they might want to ask themselves why they are afraid. Is it because they are afraid to reveal their secrets, or are they afraid that if they reveal their secrets, they will be found out?

If it's the former, I'm not sure it would be advisable to consider writing about it. However, if it's the latter, you can rest assured that psychological counseling has strict confidentiality agreements in place.

It might be helpful to consider learning new ways of thinking from the outside. Perhaps the questioner could try going out more, reading more, and communicating more with wise people. This could allow them to observe, accept, and change themselves from different perspectives. This is how I got through it too.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello, question asker.

In response to your question, I have mixed feelings because I have had some similar experiences. I can relate to the pain you describe, and I also felt unsure about who to talk to or who to seek help from. I didn't go for counseling, and I can see why you didn't either. I was embarrassed and afraid of being ridiculed, which I can relate to. I also didn't know about the help of a psychological counselor when I was in school. After I graduated, I didn't have the financial resources to pursue counseling, so I had to rely on myself to find a way out. It was a challenging process, but I gradually came out of it.

However, the process can be challenging, and there may be times when it feels overwhelming and uncertain.

I'm sharing this with you because I've been in a similar situation and I believe it's important to have support. You don't have to tell your family and friends if you don't want to, but if your finances allow, I would recommend seeking the help of a counselor. This can help you avoid many challenges and get you out of it faster.

Additionally, if you are facing financial challenges, you might consider scheduling a consultation every half or once a month. It's important to remember that it's not always easy to bear these challenges alone.

Let's take a closer look at the issue you've raised. I believe the main challenge you're facing may be self-control. It could be related to addictive substances or behaviors you're trying to quit but find difficult to do so, and it's affecting your studies, life, and work. Of course, there may be other reasons, but let me focus on the situation as it is. When you have a question, please feel free to share the specific challenge you're facing so that I can better understand your situation.

In this section, I will share my personal insights on self-control, drawing on my experiences and reflections as someone who has faced similar challenges.

It's fair to say that self-control isn't everyone's cup of tea. I have to admit, I'm not the world's biggest fan.

The concept of self-control has always been advocated and glorified by mainstream culture, which often suggests that a successful or powerful person must be self-controlled and that they will be strict with themselves. Conversely, a person who fails or does poorly is often seen as someone who is unable to control themselves. Is there a problem with this statement?

I respectfully disagree. I do not believe that self-control is inherently a character trait. Moreover, I feel that the current cultural emphasis on self-control as a virtue may inadvertently lead to an unhealthy glorification of suffering.

It's understandable that self-control can sometimes feel challenging. It requires energy, and when we're in a less optimal state, like a bad mood or with a lot of distractions, it can be more difficult to access that energy.

On the other hand, it should be noted that lying down or engaging in simple activities does not require significant energy expenditure. From this perspective, it could be argued that lying down is a more comfortable option.

If you are experiencing difficulties with self-control, it is important to remember that there is no need to be too hard on yourself. The reason you are unable to control yourself is not your problem. Self-control is the result of a combination of various factors, while losing control is more in line with our human nature.

I would like to take a moment to address the topic of desires.

The above has touched on the topic of self-control. It is natural to wonder why some people seem to have more control over their actions than others. It is not uncommon to feel like we are struggling with this ourselves.

And it keeps coming up again and again!

One possible explanation is that the individual in question has a higher-level desire. It's important to note that desire is a neutral word, not one that carries negative connotations.

As previously mentioned, lying down is a desire that is in line with human nature. However, in addition to the desire to lie down, we have many other desires, such as the desire to live and the desire to live better.

If you were to rank your desires in order of priority, it would likely become clear that the latter would be higher than the former. In order to survive and live better, you may find that you can give up some of your current desires and control some of your current behaviors for more advanced desires. Therefore, desires could be said to be the driving force behind our progress. You may find that you control your current behaviors because you want to.

If I might respectfully draw your attention to the potential disadvantages and imperfections.

It is important to recognize that even with 100% effort, some things may not change immediately. This could include personal shortcomings or the pursuit of perfectionism. For instance, even with long-term self-control, there is no guarantee that future challenges will not lead to a loss of control.

It would be beneficial to adopt an accepting approach in this regard. Rather than attempting to change what we cannot, it would be more constructive to accept it and focus on doing the things we can do well. This is similar to losing control after exercising self-control, which can result in repeated challenges. When this occurs, it is important to avoid blaming ourselves or giving up completely. Instead, we should strive to identify ways to prevent the loss in the future and to learn from it.

Regarding hobbies and intimate relationships, it might be helpful to consider the following:

As previously mentioned, self-control is the result of a combination of various factors. It also discusses the relationship between desire and self-control, as well as the importance of accepting one's own shortcomings and imperfections. However, if you wish to control yourself, it is also necessary to consider other aspects of your life, such as hobbies and intimate relationships, in order to achieve a more balanced existence.

It's important to remember that we're all emotional beings, and it's not realistic to expect that we can live only for work and study. We also need to have our own lives. Hobbies and intimate relationships can help to balance our emotions and rationality, and they can replenish our mental energy while we exercise self-control.

It's important to recognize that losing control is not only due to the challenges of self-control, but also the long-term accumulation of loneliness, emptiness, boredom, and a sense of weariness. These feelings are often caused by the monotony of our lives. To address this, it's valuable to consider expanding your interests and outdoor activities, as well as cultivating or finding the intimacy you desire.

For instance, incorporating daily exercise, weekly outdoor activities, engaging in new pursuits, forming romantic relationships, and maintaining regular communication with loved ones are all effective strategies for fostering self-control.

I have always found self-control to be a challenging concept, and I hope that you can dispel and correct your perception of it.

I would like to discuss the mentality of avoiding.

In ancient times, when faced with danger, humans generally had two options: to run away or to fight. For modern people, however, there are actually very few truly dangerous situations. More often than not, there are difficulties, setbacks, and challenges.

In such situations, we have the option to either avoid the issue or confront it directly.

From an energy consumption perspective, it would be understandable to choose escape as a first option, as it is often perceived as a simpler and less energy-consuming alternative. If the outcome of these two choices is the same, it is possible that many of us would choose to escape, and that facing the issue head-on may feel impossible.

However, it is important to note that while escaping can provide a sense of temporary happiness, it may not address the underlying issue. Conversely, facing the problem can offer a solution more quickly, allowing us to achieve the higher-level desire we mentioned above. Nevertheless, many people may not fully understand this or may have a limited understanding of it, which can lead to a continued inclination towards escape.

This also seems to align with Wang Xing's observation that people may be inclined to avoid engaging in genuine, thoughtful reflection.

It could be said that genuine thinking, that is to say, deep thinking, requires energy and may also cause a certain degree of discomfort.

I would like to discuss endorphins, a sense of achievement, and the brain's reward system.

It is interesting to note that self-control can sometimes cause discomfort, yet many people find it enjoyable. This may be due to the release of endorphins, a sense of achievement, and the brain's reward system.

Endorphins are also known as "painkillers." As the name implies, they can help to relieve the brain's perception of pain. For instance, after engaging in prolonged exercise or a sustained period of activity, the brain releases this substance to reduce discomfort and enable continued effort. This may explain why we can take positive action despite experiencing pain in our brains.

With repeated instances of exercising self-control, one may experience a sense of accomplishment, which can be understood as a manifestation of the need for self-actualization as outlined by Maslow's hierarchy of needs. This can lead to a range of subconscious thoughts and feelings, including a sense of personal achievement, self-reassurance, and a sense of pride. These experiences can be seen as a form of reward, and when fully embraced, they can foster a sense of motivation and drive. However, it's essential to recognize that these feelings and behaviors may bear resemblance to addictions to substances or behaviors such as smoking, alcohol consumption, drug use, and sexual addiction. While the underlying mechanisms may differ, the similarities in the way these behaviors are driven by a desire for reward and the resulting consequences are noteworthy.

This is how our brain's reward system is understood to work. It seems that our behavior is driven by the desire for rewards, which could be described as simply desire.

I would like to take a moment to discuss socializing.

Humans are social animals, and social interaction is an essential part of life. Having a certain understanding of social interaction and certain social skills and methods is therefore particularly important.

First and foremost, socializing is about fostering a sense of togetherness, mutual support, and respect. It's about sharing joy, offering comfort, helping each other, and respecting each other's differences. When we understand this, we can better navigate social interactions with understanding and compassion.

The next step is to engage in the actual social interaction. It is important to understand your own thoughts and emotions, as well as those of the other person. After listening to the other person's account, it is then possible to express your thoughts and emotions in order to achieve the goal of social interaction. This is a simplified overview, but it provides a general understanding of the process. For a more detailed account, including guidance on self-reflection and observation, please refer to the resources provided.

How might one express their thoughts and emotions? Is it possible to do so without suppressing or hiding one's emotions?

How well do you think you maintain each other's boundaries?

It is challenging to convey this in a few words, and it requires a combination of emotional awareness, learning, summarizing, and practice in specific social situations. If you're uncertain about the best approach, you can consider aligning with the social principle of "neither servile nor arrogant" and reminding yourself periodically during social interactions.

When we remove the unnecessary elements, we find that everyone has something to offer.

I would like to take a moment to discuss the workplace.

The workplace presents a slightly different set of considerations. Given that the workplace is a collection of interests, it's important to recognize that many of your desires may need to be obtained through work. Resources are often essential to satisfying a person's desires, whether material or spiritual.

However, resources are limited. You have this desire, and so may others. It is understandable that you might wonder why you should be given this resource. The answer lies in the concept of relatively fair competition (of course, cooperation is also necessary, but that will not be discussed here).

Once you understand the logic of competition in the workplace, you may find it helpful to consider which direction you would like to take. The first step could be to think about ways you could improve your core competitiveness in the workplace. This could include work ability, work attitude, and social skills (uncontrollable factors may not be relevant for everyone).

The second step is to consider taking some targeted actions based on these three aspects. The third step is more detailed and requires you to take specific actions in specific situations.

How might one find a way out of this situation?

If I might humbly offer my perspective, I believe the answer to this question is to take action now. It can often be challenging to think clearly about many things, and it is only when you encounter a specific situation that you can analyze it.

For your current situation, it would be beneficial to have some knowledge and ideas. You might as well do it now, do your best, devote all your time and energy, and then analyze specific problems as they arise. Of course, as I said at the beginning, I hope you can find a counselor to help you, which will help you avoid many detours and reduce a lot of pain in the process.

I hope these thoughts and suggestions are helpful to you, even if they don't fully align with your situation. I wish you the strength to persevere, and I hope you find some beauty and warmth in the world. ?

Good day, inquirer.

From your description, I empathize with your situation. You are acutely aware of your discomfort and consistently prioritize the needs of others. It is imperative to recognize that self-neglect is not a viable coping strategy.

Please describe the event that precipitated this discomfort. At what point did you first experience this discomfort?

At what point did this occur?

What sources of strength enable you to choose to engage in this discourse and pursue a breakthrough in the face of such discomfort?

Since the source of the discomfort is unclear, it is reasonable to conclude that there is a causal relationship. Once the source of the discomfort is identified, it can be addressed. Asking questions is an effective way to gain insight and take action. Do you agree with my assessment?

In point of fact, upon your arrival, I was already aware of your considerable fortitude, which is to be commended. You have already attempted to take the initial step, and subsequent to that, circumstances will undoubtedly improve. Furthermore, you have now become conscious of this. Despite the inherent challenges associated with change, with perseverance, there is no doubt that things will continue to improve.

I would like to propose a thought experiment: what would your life be like if a miracle occurred and your distressing emotions vanished? What actions might you have taken to facilitate such an outcome?

What changes will occur in the subject after the occurrence of the aforementioned "miracle"? Who will be the first to observe these changes?

I am aware that a specific event must have transpired to precipitate your current state of distress, which is manifesting as a series of negative emotions. However, I wish to reassure you that you are not at fault. Frequently, our emotional states are not a genuine reflection of reality, and this may be influenced by our living environment and experiences within our family of origin.

Indeed, a considerable number of individuals experience this disconcerting sensation when confronted with challenges. I, too, have encountered this phenomenon, yet I lack the fortitude to pursue this course of action, resulting in a persistent state of turmoil.

It is not possible to make specific suggestions based on the information provided. However, the following general recommendations may prove helpful.

Firstly, it is recommended that you seek the assistance of a qualified counselor.

You indicated that you lacked the courage to consult with a counselor. I empathize with your situation. I am uncertain as to how long you have been aware of the benefits of counseling, but it is a fact that counselors assist individuals in modifying their perceptions. They utilize professional techniques to delve deeply into the underlying causes within our subconscious minds and establish a secure and accepting environment for personal growth.

To be frank, we are trapped in a vicious cycle of emotions. A psychological counselor provides us with the tolerance and acceptance that the external world is unable to offer, which is more conducive to our personal growth.

Secondly, it is important to be more aware and clarify.

It is not uncommon to experience difficulties in disengaging from negative emotions. However, by cultivating awareness of these discomforting symptoms, individuals can enhance their ability to recognize when they arise and engage in reflection on the underlying causes and potential courses of action. This process may facilitate the emergence of a more constructive emotional state.

Furthermore, it is essential to learn how to effectively release negative emotions.

It is important to understand how we can identify the underlying issues that are causing us to experience negative emotions. To achieve this, it is essential to learn how to eliminate the truly negative emotions from our bodies. This process allows us to regain a sense of inner calm and to fully appreciate the beauty of life. One effective approach is to engage in regular exercise. During this process, we can effectively release pent-up emotions, release stress, and stimulate the secretion of dopamine in the brain, which can contribute to a sense of pleasure. This method has proven to be an effective way to manage negative emotions. Based on my personal experience, I highly recommend incorporating regular exercise into your routine. It has been a valuable tool for me in my pursuit of emotional well-being. I hope that you will consider giving it a try as well.

Ultimately, it is essential to cultivate self-trust.

Negative emotions are, in fact, a consequence of a lack of self-acceptance and self-belief. This results in a disturbance caused by external emotions. However, it is important to recognise that there is no one else to blame but oneself. Frequently, negative emotions are a result of our own feelings and perceptions, which prevent us from seeing the positive aspects of life and hinders our ability to recognise hope. Nevertheless, there are numerous positive aspects to be found in the world around us, yet we often fail to perceive them due to our own limitations.

Upon arrival, it is my hope that you will be able to embrace the conviction that you are a singular entity, endowed with boundless potential, and capable of achieving whatever you set your mind to. It is only through a profound sense of self-assurance and resolute determination that one can muster the courage to take the first step, to persevere through challenges, and to overcome obstacles.

Ultimately, it is important to convey that it is acceptable to feel afraid; there is always the option of seeking support. In the future, should you experience feelings of distress, you are encouraged to engage in open communication with us. Discussing your experiences can facilitate healing and growth. We are committed to providing a supportive and accessible environment for you, should you require it.

Greetings! I extend to you a warm embrace from a distance.

I am gratified to have read your request for assistance and hope that my contribution will prove beneficial. I also commend you for recognizing your inappropriate behavior and emotional state, as awareness is the foundation for change.

The reason for the repeated self-harm is likely due to an underlying need for self-validation and care that is not being met in other ways. This need for emotional and emotional needs is a significant factor in the development of self-harm behaviors. However, the individual may not have had the opportunity to learn how to respond to and satisfy this need in a healthier manner.

The manner in which an individual is treated by others often determines the way in which they treat themselves. The underlying reason for this self-treatement is likely to be the experience of emotional invisibility and neglect during the formative years. It is possible that the individual may have attempted to express their needs in an active manner at the time, but these needs were ignored. It was only when the individual's life was in danger that their parents paid some attention to them and took care of them. This resulted in the individual coming to realise, albeit unintentionally, that they could only gain the love of important others when their own life was in danger.

Additionally, your description suggests a lack of acceptance of your inner self. It is evident that you are not fully aware of this aspect of your inner self, and your repeated actions of hurting, attacking, criticizing, and denying yourself are a manifestation of anger and hostility directed inward. This can be understood as a form of inner self-hatred, as it hinders your ability to express your feelings and needs when you feel hurt and to protect yourself in a courageous and genuine manner. What are your thoughts on this matter?

Accordingly, the key to effecting this change is to learn to better accept oneself, cultivate self-confidence, and enhance one's sense of self-worth. Only when one can fully accept oneself from the inside out, firmly believe that one is good enough, and that one deserves to be treated well by oneself and others, can one attempt to be true to oneself in relationships, express one's feelings and needs sincerely, and especially when one feels hurt, be brave enough to protect and support oneself.

One may attempt to enhance self-acceptance by compiling a list of one's strengths. This approach can facilitate the identification of both areas for improvement and personal assets. Another strategy for fostering self-confidence and a sense of self-worth is to maintain a gratitude journal.

It is recommended that individuals cultivate a greater number of interests and passions, thereby increasing their control over the circumstances of their lives. When individuals experience a greater sense of control and pleasure in their lives, they tend to become more confident and affirming of themselves, and they are less likely to engage in self-criticism.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

Should one remain unable to fully accept and affirm oneself through active learning and growth, despite the aforementioned self-awareness, one may wish to consider seeking professional psychological counseling. A counselor will not judge the individual in any way and will provide acceptance, understanding, and support, thereby fostering a sense of safety and acceptance. This may then facilitate the courage to confront one's innermost vulnerabilities.

All individuals are entitled to be treated with respect and consideration by themselves and others.