I might be known as a pushover, scared of damaging relationships, what a burden, what should I do?

Hello! It's so great that you always try your best to help others. It's a shame that you never get anything in return, though. It would be so much better for you if you were treated like the amazing person you are!

I think your tiredness comes not from your body but from your heart. When you think that your efforts will be rewarded, you are putting pressure on yourself. But you can do it!

Your giving is conditional and has expectations. Once there are expectations, there will be disappointment. So when the result falls short of expectations, it will make you feel aggrieved and unfair. But don't fret! There's an easy fix for this.

I absolutely believe you should help if you can, but if you want to, just follow your heart. Don't force yourself or make things difficult for yourself. When you want to help without expecting anything in return, you'll be so satisfied and won't need to gain recognition from others!

You say no to others but are afraid of damaging the relationship, so you dare not refuse. But there's a better way! Affirm yourself and don't base your value on how others feel.

Pay more attention to your own feelings and satisfy your own needs! When you establish clear boundaries with others, you'll find that relationships will also become clear, and different people in different relationships will be screened out.

Keep the wrong people away and let the right people come to you! They'll appreciate you for your principles.

I really hope this is helpful!

Hello, dear questioner! I can understand your inner worries. You have tried your best to do things yourself and hope to be recognized by others, but it seems that even if you do everything well, others take it for granted. Some people even use you as a tool and order you around. This makes you feel bad, like you are not being respected, and it also feels unfair.

First of all, your personality is similar to that of a pleasing personality, and this is often related to your own upbringing. This means that you have to constantly please others in your original family or at school in order to maintain your own survival. You long to be affirmed, but you can never get it. You long to be seen, but you are always ignored. You are afraid of the estrangement and rupture of relationships, because then you will feel isolated and unloved.

So, you try to please others, thinking that if you do what they want, you'll be praised and affirmed. But, by doing so, you might not learn to say no, which could make your work seem less valuable. Others might think you do what they want because you need to, so they won't thank you as much, and over time, they might not respect your work as much either.

You are kind, enthusiastic, and hardworking. You have done so many things and must be very capable. You have so many good qualities! Affirm these things about yourself.

To change the current situation, first of all, you must affirm yourself. You must believe in yourself and be good. This goodness does not need to come from other people's mouths. Do your part well. If others need help, be willing to help. If you are not willing, be brave and say why you won't help. Your respect for yourself will also win the respect of others. Don't be afraid of offending people. If you haven't done anything wrong, but you have offended someone, then that person is not worth your help.

You are rich inside, and you don't need anyone else to tell you that you're worthy. You are independent and strong!

I hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any other questions.

The questioner's problem is a common one. Many people believe that if they assist others, they will be assisted in return. When they require assistance, they expect others to provide it without hesitation. However, this is not always the case. Some individuals appreciate being helped by others and are willing to help in times of need.

However, some individuals will not. As the questioner stated, they are willing to receive assistance from others but tend to refrain from offering help when they observe others in distress and in need of assistance. This highlights the importance of learning to provide help selectively.

Firstly, it is true that other people have encountered difficulties and require assistance. For example, when I was younger, I often observed individuals pulling carts uphill. At that time, regardless of whether others requested assistance or not, I would take the initiative to help push the cart. I was aware that it was very tiring to pull a cart uphill by human power, and that having someone give a push would make it much easier for the person pulling the cart.

Subsequently, the majority of individuals purchased tractors and ceased utilizing carts. When I observe a tractor bearing a considerable load uphill, I will determine whether to provide assistance based on the circumstances. If the cart is transporting a substantial weight, such as grain or fertilizer, I will offer assistance. However, if the load is relatively light, I will not provide assistance. I am aware that the tractor possesses its own power and can ascend inclines without external assistance.

Secondly, if the other person takes the initiative to ask for help, it is akin to pulling a cart or driving a tractor, as previously mentioned. On occasion, others will request assistance to move something, and I will readily agree because they have indicated that they require my help, and my help is meaningful and valuable. If others do not ask for help, I will then decide whether or not to provide it on a selective basis, neither completely declining to help nor offering complete assistance.

In addition, there are workplace boundaries and rules, such as each person focusing on their own responsibilities and tasks. Some leaders prefer that their subordinates do not take on tasks outside of their job descriptions.

It is not appropriate to use your own work as a means of accessing other posts to help others complete tasks. This is tantamount to "stealing" other people's job opportunities to showcase your abilities. While some individuals may appreciate assistance while they are idle, this passive approach will not only be met with disdain and rejection but also lack recognition and respect from others. Such help is of little value and lacks intrinsic meaning.

Providing assistance to others in accordance with established guidelines is a distinct matter. To illustrate, if a colleague confronts challenges and proactively seeks support, if you believe you can offer assistance, you may do so. However, if you feel you cannot help, it is preferable to avoid wasting others' time and allow them to connect with a more suitable resource.

A "goody-two-shoes" has no limit when it comes to pleasing and helping others. Regardless of whether or not others truly require assistance, if you believe they do, you will provide it. Currently, it is not others who require your help, but you who need to help others. It is your own need, not the need of others.

To be frank, at this juncture, assisting others is driven by one's own intrinsic needs, such as seeking recognition, acceptance, and affirmation. Adopting this perspective and approach to interact with others may inadvertently strain relationships and lead to exhaustion.

To effect change in this situation, the first step is to accept the situation as it is. It is important to determine whether the need is your own or someone else's, and to identify your true wants. Once you have adjusted your cognitive thinking, it will be much easier and more natural to interact with others, and your relationships with them will also be much better.

Good day. I am Cheng Yan, a listening coach, and I am honored to respond to your inquiry.

From your description, it appears that you are the more proactive party in workplace relationships. You are willing to assist your colleagues with their work and strive to respond to their requests in a timely and effective manner. Consequently, your colleagues frequently seek your assistance, recognizing your value as a reliable and helpful resource.

You assumed that assistance was reciprocal, yet when you required assistance, you were not provided with it. This caused you to experience significant distress and a sense of being disregarded. You value the friendship of your colleagues, yet they perceive you as a mere "work tool" and demand a great deal from you. If you do not comply, you fear damaging the relationship and are consequently exhausted. You are genuinely reluctant to be kind. Best wishes to you!

It can be observed that your priorities are aligned with those of your colleagues, placing a higher value on work over your own needs, such as rest. This is an example of a personality trait that prioritizes the needs of others. Modifying this pattern requires time and effort. By recognizing this aspect of your personality and seeking assistance, you have taken an important first step in addressing it.

The adage "the way others treat us is what we teach them" is applicable in this context. Colleagues may exploit their position of authority to take advantage of you, repeatedly request additional work, disregard your feelings, and fail to recognize your contributions. This dynamic may have been foreshadowed from the outset of your professional relationship with these colleagues.

Given your assertion that you are highly active at work, it is reasonable to conclude that your colleagues and superiors will perceive you as someone who can achieve results rapidly. From an efficiency standpoint, they will undoubtedly seek to utilize your talents. Your exemplary performance has naturally led to a situation where those who are capable are given more opportunities. While initial reactions to this have been positive, it is important to recognize that after a period of high performance, there may be resistance from those around you and within yourself when you attempt to shift gears.

The situation has already reached a point of no return, and it is not feasible to alter it in a short period of time due to the presence of an internal impediment: the fear of damaging the relationship. It is therefore recommended that the following course of action be pursued:

1. It is recommended that you recognize and record your fears. If you choose not to do so, it is important to consider whether your refusal will actually result in the destruction of the relationship.

Or is this merely a product of one's own catastrophic imagination?

2. It is essential to establish clear boundaries regarding one's own work, public work, and the work of others.

In the event that one is reluctant to provide assistance but is unable to decline, it may be advisable to postpone the delivery initially in order to temper one's enthusiasm. Gradually, one will approach their optimal state.

In conclusion, I posit that the optimal solution is to gradually reduce one's workload until one is able to achieve a state of physical and mental freedom. I extend my best wishes for a swift and successful transition to this new state of being.

I extend my affection to the world and to you.

Hello, question asker. I'm happy to answer your question and hope my input is helpful.

[When helping others, think about whether they actually need it.]

"People also treat me like a tool."

Maybe the questioner can think about whether they help others based on what they need and what they think, or just because it's what they want to do.

Sometimes we may feel good about helping someone out, but we might not think about whether they actually need our help or not.

The other person might even feel like a tool, so it's important for the questioner to focus on what the other person needs.

[Consistent expression]

"What should I do?"

When we say "consistent expression," we mean sharing our feelings, thoughts, needs, expectations, and so on in a genuine and honest way.

When you've put in a lot of work and are feeling the burnout,

We can say no if we need to, we can choose not to help, and we can ask for help when we need it.

"Sorry, I'm not feeling well today and I might not be able to help you. It would be a shame if I caused you more trouble than I helped..."

"Dear [colleague's name], I'm so tired today, and there's a part I can't get right. Could you please teach me?"

Everyone is rich and lovely, has a proactive side, and occasionally needs help from others. This also makes others feel valuable, right?

[Being overly polite is also not a good idea.]

During work, a Taiwanese mentor came for training. The employees of our organization, as the hosts, always seemed to want to offer help and service, but the mentor always responded in this way: "Just do your own job well."

So, being too polite or helpful can sometimes be off-putting to others and disrupt their rhythm.

It's not about being servile, it's about being polite. If you want to help someone, you need to ask first. Something like, "Do you need any help?"

When you need help from others, just say so. "I need your help," for example.

Maybe we can all relax a bit and enjoy ourselves more.

You've got this! I wish you all the best in your career.

That's all I wanted to share. Have a great day!

Hello!

I get it. After putting in so much effort to help others, it can be disappointing when you don't get the support you need. It's natural to feel frustrated with yourself and others when you're in that situation.

Your beliefs are different from what most people believe.

You believe that good can be exchanged for good. You are kind to others, and you expect the same in return.

And your colleagues might see your kindness as a bit of a deal. It's not really a smart move to pass up on a good deal, so they keep taking advantage of you and claiming the credit for your work.

Is there something you're worried about behind your flattery?

Are you worried that people don't like you and that you won't get help?

Believe in yourself. You can handle a lot of tasks and do them well.

You don't depend on others, and you use the time you would have spent helping others to improve yourself, so you may have more opportunities.

It seems like the people in this company don't know how to be grateful and help each other out. This might also be because of the corporate culture, where everyone only cares about their own interests and KPIs.

I don't know what it's like when you ask someone for help.

If the other person says no, will you ask again?

When did I help you out before?

Now that I'm in a bind, I'm hoping you can help me out. If you don't, it might be tough for me to help you down the road.

Speak up for what you want, even if it means asking for a reward. If the other person isn't willing to help, you've set a clear boundary and won't have to help them in the future.

It's important to learn to say no and protect your own boundaries. Sometimes you do a lot of work, but the credit may go to someone else.

If helping others helps you grow and gives you more chances to show off in front of your leaders, then it's up to you whether you ask for something in return. Either way, you'll feel more comfortable.

Keep up the great work!

I hope my answer helps you.

I used to be a nice person, and I was afraid of damaging relationships. I over-gave in many relationships, and it was really hard. I realized that I didn't have inner strength. I built up my inner strength through psychology. I started saying no in relationships and having the courage to be disliked. I also expressed when I needed support and help. My relationships became higher quality.

I advise you to:

1. Be true to yourself and take care of your needs.

Let me be clear: if we are always thinking about other people's feelings, always thinking about how to meet other people's needs, and ignore our own needs, or even suppress our own needs, we will have a lot of emotions.

If you cannot express your needs and present your true self, your heart will naturally be blocked. You must learn to express your feelings and needs and be true to yourself.

You will feel more harmony and ease when you are true to yourself. I know this is difficult, but if you are determined to adjust yourself and express yourself, you will get closer to the person you want to be.

Expressing your true self will make your energy stronger.

Expressing your true self will make your energy stronger.

2. We must learn to handle other people's opinions and develop our own, rock-solid self-esteem.

2. We must treat other people's evaluations correctly and establish an internal and stable self-evaluation system.

We are all different, and each of us has our own set of evaluation criteria.

We are all different, and each of us has our own set of evaluation criteria.

We like, approve of, and support others when they meet our evaluation standards. We dislike, reject, and doubt them when they don't. The other way around is true too. When we meet the other person's standards, they approve of us. When we don't, they reject us.

You must accept that you cannot live to satisfy other people's expectations. If you keep seeking others' approval and caring about what they think, you will end up living other people's lives. If you hope too much to be recognized by others, you will lose your true self. This will bring you trouble because it is not the life you really want.

You will find that whether the other person recognizes you or not has little to do with you. It has more to do with whether you match his evaluation criteria. You cannot control the thoughts and actions of others. You cannot always meet other people's evaluation criteria. You cannot meet everyone's evaluation criteria.

Life is hard for everyone. Everyone has different wants and is in a different position. There is no need to practice yourself according to other people's standards or force others to conform to your own standards. There is no need to crave others' understanding and approval in everything.

You don't have to sacrifice yourself to gain the approval of others. You don't have to do it this way to gain interpersonal relationships. It doesn't matter if you are liked or disliked. There will always be people who like you and people who dislike you. The important thing is whether you can accept this self that is liked and disliked at the same time.

We don't live to satisfy other people's expectations. If we keep seeking others' approval and caring about what they think, we will end up living other people's lives. If we hope too much to be recognized by others, we will live according to other people's expectations, and lose our true selves. This will in turn bring you trouble, because it is not the life you really want.

Take back your right to judge yourself. Treat yourself as you would another person and judge yourself comprehensively, objectively, and truthfully. This will help you know yourself better and what you want. Other people's opinions will matter less.

Stop caring what others think and live your true self. This will improve your interpersonal relationships. You will no longer have to suffer in bad relationships you have traded for by pleasing others and suppressing your own needs.

3. Accept yourself.

You must accept your own character and imperfections. This means seeing both your shortcomings and your strengths and values. The first step to becoming more and more confident is to accept yourself.

Accept your character and your imperfections. See your shortcomings and inadequacies, but also your strengths and value. You must accept yourself if you want to become more and more confident.

You must understand that accepting yourself is not easy, but you must keep practicing it. When the voice in your heart that constantly negates yourself arises, you must continue to practice acceptance. You have shortcomings, but you also have many strengths and much value. You can bring your strengths into play and live a good life with your shortcomings.

When you accept yourself, you can live with your shortcomings. Your heart will become more relaxed and powerful.

You are not alone. Many people are just like you, imperfect, but many people can live well with their shortcomings. Accept your imperfections and live a comfortable life.

4. Know your strengths and value yourself. Give yourself positive psychological suggestions.

Affirm and support yourself. This will make you more confident and strengthen your inner strength. You will no longer rely on external feedback and evaluation.

If you feel something is missing inside you, you will seek it outside. But remember, everything outside is unstable and beyond our control. The only thing you can control is yourself. That means controlling your own actions and thoughts.

We need external recognition because we don't approve of ourselves enough. The recognition we get by helping others is actually unstable. When we turn inward and constantly practice approving of ourselves and encouraging ourselves, we gain truly stable support. When we approve of ourselves enough and support ourselves, we don't care so much about other people's approval and evaluation.

My experience has taught me that when you recognize and accept yourself, others will recognize and believe in you because you will exude your own radiance, charm, and confidence.

You don't have to be pleasing to gain external praise and affection. You are good enough in your own right, and when you are not pleasing, you are still worthy of being liked and appreciated.

This is for your reference. Best regards!

If you're not afraid of hard work and are really unable to do things, you may not be appreciated — but that's okay!

It doesn't matter if you do a lot of work, as long as you do it in a neat and tidy way!

Believe it or not, many things are actually very simple! All you have to do is stop making them complicated because you are too cautious.

Things will only become less because they will be done and finished. If you want to make work less through other means and you are not the person who directly makes work less, then you have the opportunity to improve your efficiency! You can do things according to normal rules.

If you do things right, it's a breeze! Let's say I have a colleague at work who is unable to prepare reports, who may be disabled or slow, or who just wants to fool around and sleep in a bit.

It's totally fine if he's late! Once I've got the hang of his report, I'll help him send it out.

Then he doesn't need to do it anymore! I am the direct performer of the work.

If he doesn't work in his position, if he can't work, or if he just wants to loaf around, then the big deal is that he can go to the next company and get other colleagues to do it for him, or he can do it himself!

Absolutely everyone is an adult in the workplace! Even if someone deliberately wants to loaf, they'll find someone to help them. So, who needs help with their work?

The great news is that, except for tasks that require time and effort and that may require help from others, no one else needs help!

If you work hard with the help of others, you can gain valuable experience and move up in your career! But if you don't have the time or know-how, you might find yourself stuck in a position where you're not getting promoted. And what happens to people who don't get promoted? They become leaders! They move up and become the ones others look to for guidance and inspiration. They're the ones who get things done and make a real impact.

He's not going to improve or do a good job, but that's okay! He's still got lots to learn. And because he doesn't do anything, he doesn't know the hard work that goes into doing things. Once someone helps him, he'll see that it takes a lot of effort to help someone else, and he'll want to thank the person who helped him do the work.

It's not helpful to accuse him of being ungrateful because he really doesn't know. You did things for him, and he has the opportunity to learn, accumulate skills, and gain promotion. You have invested time and effort, and he has the chance to understand your contributions, the time you have put in, and how hard you have worked.

He'll get a reputation for being lazy and ungrateful, and he'll miss out on the chance to build up his work experience and land a great job! If you assign them work and they still don't do it, they're just harming themselves in the end.

You don't have to get angry with them because they don't do the work. First, the ability to do things is based on talent. If you are born disabled and cannot do things, then you don't have to force yourself.

Second, if you don't want to work hard, you naturally won't. But there are plenty of easy jobs out there for those who want them! You can even ask a colleague to do it for you, which is also an easy way out. Without work experience, he loses his competitiveness. But with current competitiveness and ability, he can guarantee a decent living in the future!

His goal is to relax and unwind, and it's great that you're able to help him do his work more easily! The worst that can happen is that you get the work done, but the best case scenario is that he makes progress. It doesn't matter if your boss dislikes you in the future; you just want to relax and don't want to see any unfinished work in front of you, so that's fine!

There's no such thing as easy work in this world. I repeat: there's no such thing as easy work!

If so, the person is highly replaceable! What does it mean to be highly replaceable?

It means that even if he listens to his boss and gets the job done, and he puts in the effort, he won't get a corresponding reward. He isn't trading his time for a guarantee of future survival, a guarantee that is work experience that can be used in other companies. Instead, he's wasting time, waiting for his boss to use him up. But what if he could do more with his time? What if he could gain valuable experience that would help him in other companies? What if he could become indispensable to his boss? The possibilities are endless!

It doesn't matter whether he is there or not. The great thing is that you can help anyone, no matter who it is, as long as you are willing to work hard and put in the effort.

Your colleague, who needs help, has the potential to gain respect in the workplace through ability. He has the opportunity to consider the future. Does he want to be useless? Does he want other companies to want him? There's so much he can do! Your colleague is just delaying the business of the next boss, and causing the boss to suffer inexplicable financial losses. He is a colleague or subordinate who was originally very efficient.

Your colleagues' presence makes the boss's subordinates less efficient, in a bad mood, and tired at work. But there's a way to turn this around! It's called being loved.

There's nothing more rewarding than helping people when you can focus your efforts on a specific type of person. When you have a clear direction, you can guide them to achieve their goals. Seeing them succeed and make the right decisions is incredibly satisfying. Everyone wins when you have a positive impact on someone's life!

This shows that you are very smart, and the person you are helping is not stupid. Stupid means that no matter how much you teach them, they won't learn. Smart means that they will learn after just one or two times—and that's pretty smart!

If he is stupid, he won't listen to anything you say, and he will stubbornly stick to his own views. But that just means there's an opportunity for you to show him a better way! He will keep making the same mistakes over and over again, but that just means you can help him learn from them.

If you can help others and give them the right guidance, it shows that you are forward-looking and have a broad perspective—and that's a great thing!

And for others who expect perfection from themselves, you do things according to their wishes. In the process, you follow their way of thinking, and you do not achieve self-improvement and development. In order to serve their demands, you dare not even express your own opinions. Helping them in this situation is very painful. But you know what? It's also an opportunity for growth and development. So, embrace it!

Embrace the challenge and don't be afraid of working hard! Your ability is demonstrated through doing things. If you did a lot of things yesterday, it doesn't mean that you can rely on yesterday's achievements to get things done today.

If you helped someone yesterday, that doesn't mean they'll help you today! It's a new day, and you have the opportunity to make a fresh start. Today is a brand new day to work hard and continue building your amazing career!

Seize the day and cherish the present! Don't take things in the future lightly. You can control the present, and the abilities you have now will determine your future.

If you play games when you're a child, every day, and grow up without reading, all you'll know how to do is play games. But if you master a certain skill from an early age, you can easily pick it up when you grow up and then use it proficiently again!

If you don't have it now, you can absolutely have it in the future! And if you don't learn it now, you can definitely use it tomorrow.

Dear friend, I can appreciate the challenge you're facing as a "good person." In the workplace and in life, we all hope to get along with others and be respected. However, accommodating others excessively and going above and beyond may result in a depletion of energy and even lead to being treated as a mere "tool." In response to your question, I offer the following suggestions for your consideration:

1. Set personal boundaries: It is important to be clear about your abilities and the scope of your responsibilities. If you feel that you have reached your capacity for a particular task, it is acceptable to politely decline the request. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, but I'm already very busy with the work I have on hand and I can't take on this task for the time being."

It would be advisable to allocate time and energy reasonably, prioritize the work within your remit, and ensure that your rights are not infringed.

2. Learn to communicate effectively: When you feel the need to express your needs and feelings at work, it is important to do so at the right time. This allows colleagues and leaders to understand your current pressures and concerns. For example, when you feel exhausted, you can find an appropriate time to give feedback to the relevant people. This could be something like, "Recently, I have been taking on more tasks than I can handle, and I hope the team can share the workload."

3. Develop self-esteem and confidence: It may be helpful to establish a sense of self-worth and to recognize that your value does not solely depend on the amount of work you do for others. You might consider demonstrating your professional abilities and talents at work, so that others can see your contributions and value.

4. Consider learning to cooperate and help each other. In the workplace, mutually beneficial relationships can last. You might try to establish a more equal cooperative relationship with your colleagues, supporting and helping each other rather than just one-sidedly giving.

This may also help to improve the quality of your interactions with others.

5. Improve decision-making and execution: Consider carefully the advantages and disadvantages of each option and decide which things are worth investing in and which things can be abandoned. By making thoughtful choices, you can avoid being tied down by trivial matters and concentrate on doing things that are truly meaningful and enhance your own value.

6. Consider focusing on self-growth outside of work: It might be beneficial to spend more time in your spare time focusing on self-improvement and recharging, and cultivating your core competitiveness. This could potentially give you more of a say in the workplace and help to prevent you from becoming the target of random work assignments.

It is worth noting that, in the long run, healthy and balanced communication-is-hindered-7151.html" target="_blank">workplace relationships are more valuable than a short-term image of being a "nice guy." It may be helpful to consider valuing your time and energy, treating yourself well, and facing workplace relationships in a more mature and rational way.

I'm grateful to have met you, and I hope you'll accept my thanks.

From what you've said, it's clear you're feeling pretty worn out, both physically and mentally. Let's have a chat about it.

What are the potential consequences of a damaged relationship?

You said you're afraid of damaging the relationship. Have you ever thought about what would happen if it did? You feel insecure or think there'd be terrible consequences if it did. You need to figure out these thoughts and ideas.

These thoughts usually come from experiences you had growing up or from your upbringing. You were probably taught that you must obey and listen to others in order to feel safe and survive. But have you ever considered that they might be wrong?

If you go along with what they want but do what you really want to do, you'll still feel the same way.

So you need to figure out for yourself what will happen if you damage the relationship.

2. Be consistent in expressing your feelings.

If you express your feelings sincerely and share your thoughts with the other person instead of doing what they want, will they definitely act in the worst way you imagine? For example, will they abandon you, will you feel insecure, will you be isolated?

So what we need to realize is that these are just thoughts in our minds, or mind stories, and these scenarios may not necessarily play out exactly as they are.

Sincerity is the most powerful tool. Express your feelings sincerely, feel your feelings sincerely, and treat yourself sincerely. When you do that, others will treat you sincerely.

On the other hand, sharing your feelings is also a way to show what you want and respect yourself. If you want others to respect you, you have to respect yourself first.

3. Know when to say no.

In work and in life, it's important to respect your own feelings and to know how to say no to things you don't want to do or that you can't do. When you can learn to say no, others will know where your boundaries are. Otherwise, others will test your boundaries, ask you for help, and even ask you to do things they don't want to do.

So, you're the only one who can set and keep your own boundaries. You just need to learn to say no a little bit at a time.

At the same time, you need to work on strengthening your inner self, learning new things, and improving your character. You'll see that even if you refuse, it's really no big deal.

It's okay if others reject you sometimes. That's normal. Pay attention to your true inner feelings, not what your mind is telling you.

Are you genuinely interested in helping? Do you truly believe you can help? Or are you driven to help because of an inner fear of how the other person will treat you?

It's important to learn to affirm and appreciate yourself every day. This will help you build a sense of security, which in turn will help you to strengthen your inner self. You'll find that even if you reject someone, it won't have a negative impact on your life.

While the other person might feel a bit uncomfortable at the moment of rejection, it's not our job to worry about what they think or do. We can't control how other people act, but we can control how we act.

If we take care of ourselves, love ourselves, and respect ourselves, it'll show in how others treat us.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best!

Hello. From your description, I can sense that you are experiencing a certain conflict and a sense of helplessness.

As a psychological counselor, I would like to share my understanding from a psychological perspective.

If you do this, you may be perceived as a "good guy" who is concerned about external evaluations and the feelings of others. When your true feelings are not seen or misunderstood, it can be challenging to address internal grievances, anger, or helplessness.

If I might ask, how might one adjust one's own model?

It would be beneficial to take some time to reflect on your own personality and identify the characteristics that have shaped it.

The reasons for how this is formed may be related to your upbringing and the object relations between you and your parents. You may find it helpful to gain a deeper understanding of yourself through awareness and reflection, or by seeking psychological counseling.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to focus on self-care and self-awareness. Learning to be more comfortable with who you are and what you can do, and what you want to do, can help you to feel more confident in yourself.

It would be beneficial to consider your interests and hobbies, as well as your strengths. These elements can serve as the foundation for your self-confidence, and they also provide an outlet for relieving stress. By feeling your emotions with your heart, you can also name them. Experiencing different feelings can help you become a better version of yourself when you need to.

Third, it would be beneficial to accept yourself. Your conflicts and contradictions are also something you may wish to be aware of and analyze. You can do this through learning, asking for help, communicating, understanding your limitations, adjusting better, learning to express your thoughts, listening to feedback from others, participating in and discussing different ideas and perspectives, and adjusting your inherent patterns. This could be a path to inner growth.

I believe that the world and I love you. I also believe that you can learn to love yourself, understand yourself, accept yourself, and be better at being yourself. I wish you the best of luck!

First and foremost, one's benevolent and obliging disposition is undoubtedly a significant asset. However, in the context of the modern workplace, relying on these attributes alone may prove inadequate for securing the rewards and recognition one seeks. The contemporary workplace is a highly intricate environment, and in addition to personal qualities and abilities, the ability to adapt and develop through the strategic deployment of methods and techniques is also essential.

The following recommendations are offered to assist in the enhancement of one's current circumstances:

It is important to be aware of one's limitations. While it is commendable to be of assistance to others, it is also essential to learn to safeguard one's time and energy. Not every request necessitates personal completion. It is crucial to develop the ability to discern which tasks are best suited to oneself, which can be politely declined or delegated to others, and which should be accepted.

It is important to develop and enhance one's professional abilities and skills in addition to maintaining effective interpersonal relationships in the workplace. By continuously learning and improving one's skills, an individual can enhance their value and gain recognition and opportunities.

It is imperative to develop effective communication skills. Communication is the primary means of resolving issues. In the event that one feels exploited, it is crucial to convey one's emotions and ideas to superiors and colleagues.

It is important to communicate to colleagues and superiors about the demands of one's workload and the need for support and recognition.

It is also important to build relationships in the workplace. It is beneficial to maintain positive relationships with colleagues and to understand their needs and ideas. This can facilitate the provision of assistance when required.

It is important to adjust one's mindset and not to be unduly influenced by the opinions of others. One's value is not defined by external factors, but rather by one's own self-perception.

Maintaining a positive outlook and self-belief is an effective strategy for navigating the challenges of the workplace.

It is also important to remember that the workplace is a long-term process and that results should not be rushed. Through continuous learning and practice, individuals will gradually identify methods and strategies that are most effective for them, leading to improved development and success in the workplace.