I want to improve myself, but I can't seem to stick to it. How can I grow and transform?

Hello, host! I can tell you're feeling a bit stuck right now. It seems like you've been getting a lot of advice from other teachers, and I just want to say, don't worry. Take some time for yourself. Go on a little trip somewhere quiet, just to clear your head. Listen to your inner self. I hope that some of the things I say next can help you out.

1. If you want to solve the problem of needing your husband's love and care, ask yourself what you like about your husband. Is it his sociability, eloquence, heroism, cleanliness, good looks, or talkativeness? Once you find the things you love about him, look at yourself from your husband's perspective. What did he like about you in the first place? Was it your beauty, youth, depth, understanding, cuteness, etc.? If you don't have any of those things that you like about yourself anymore, how can you still be interested in giving them to your husband?

You're the same person. If your husband isn't the person you love anymore, will you still love him? Your feelings for him will change.

2. If you want to lose weight and take care of your skin, focus on yourself, learn more, find things you want to do, and improve your ability to earn money. These are things you need to do every day. Just because you have love, are married, and have children, doesn't mean you can just relax!

It must be awful when you find it hard to accept yourself!

It's important to remember that you gave birth this year. Hormonal changes can cause some emotional ups and downs, and it's normal to feel sensitive. It's also normal for your mood to fluctuate. You can manage this by focusing on losing weight, learning new skills, and improving yourself to boost your confidence. If you want others to love you, you have to love yourself first.

Pregnancy and childbirth are tough issues that every woman has to face, but they also have the characteristics of being a woman. The greatness of a mother. I understand you said you have no income and your husband's attitude towards you is not very good, and you are frustrated. I think maybe your husband is using this expression to motivate you to move again and he doesn't want to see you not progressing. There is still a lack of communication and exchange between you. Maybe there has been a lot of communication before, but it ended up being ineffective, so in the end there is less and less, and there is even no communication.

3. To feel secure in a relationship, it's important for us to improve ourselves. We need to gain knowledge, understanding, tolerance, emotional intelligence, sexology, and fitness. When we continue to develop and grow ourselves, we become confident and powerful. We become people who seek inner peace.

I'll give you a few pointers.

1. Show your husband your weaknesses, communicate with him, and listen to what he thinks a good wife should be like. Women are made of water, so don't be a strong woman. You are water that can wrap around even a hard mountain. You don't want to be water, you just want to be a flower on the mountain. Flowers bloom and wither.

2. I'm not sure how long it's been since you've been paying attention to your husband's physical needs. Maybe you want to satisfy him instead of the other way around. Loving him means satisfying his sexual needs first, and you'll only be satisfied when you have needs!

If you don't care for and love others, but expect them to love and care for you, isn't that a bit unfair?

3. Think of your husband as a hero in your heart. Every man has a dream of heroism. If you feel aggrieved, worried, afraid, or if your heart is in turmoil and you are feeling sad, he will want to open his broad chest and hold you in his arms.

4. Don't focus all your attention on your husband. Take a break from him. When we always focus our attention on the other person and always expect the other person to give us a sense of security, the other person will feel a lot of pressure and feel that you are taking his energy. His emotions and feelings will fluctuate with the pressure you give, and he will want to keep his distance from you. He needs some time and space for himself. You are not his whole world. If you want to divide it proportionally, you should get 30%, which is already a lot.

5. When negative thoughts come up, like "Is my husband going to be unhappy with me? Will he stop loving me? Does he not care about me?" It shows you're already feeling insecure. Confidence comes from recognizing your own strengths and building on your successes. Get moving! Plan your time well, keep doing the things you like, and enjoy the happiness and confidence that comes from the heart. Then you'll become more and more satisfied with yourself, and the negative thoughts will naturally decrease or even disappear.

6. You might want to escape, but that's not a good solution. What happens to your kids if you leave? Will they have a mom or a dad? How will the two families get along? Living alone is unhealthy. And if you leave, you'll have to find love again and face the same problems. So it's better to improve yourself now.

For instance, I know a woman who had two kids and went back to work herself when they were just a few months old. She had her own money to spend on clothes, going to the gym, and getting beauty treatments. You can learn from her.

7. Married life: Married life for both partners is the bond of marriage. If there is no sex, there is no love. If your husband is no longer willing to have sex with you, no matter what is going on outside, you must play dumb and just be yourself. He is very clever, and if you do your best, he will naturally come back.

In short, when we let go of our emotions, we gain a more stable and harmonious inner self. This gives us a new perspective on life, love, security, happiness, and how we work.

I hope these tips are useful for you. Best of luck, and I hope you have a happy, healthy, and harmonious family. We'll meet again if it's meant to be.

The questioner, the present is absolutely amazing! Be grateful to have met you!

Reading your words, I can feel your sense of urgency to change and your sense of powerlessness in the face of reality. You can do this! Hugs to you!

As a stay-at-home mother, I'm thrilled to share my approach with you!

In the first few years of marriage, there were a lot of arguments because the two of you needed to get used to each other and the baby had just been born, and you all needed to adapt to your new roles. However, whether a woman is in the workplace or at home, her self-esteem, self-love, and self-confidence are all given to her by herself, or earned by herself, and are not something that she can please others with or ask others for. This is something to be excited about! It means that you are in control of your own happiness.

You can absolutely improve yourself! Even if you're a stay-at-home mom, you can still improve your education or abilities, put yourself in order, make your home warm and harmonious, and take care of your children. This is a great way to demonstrate your value and abilities!

Absolutely! If you want to be loved by your husband, you need to love yourself first. You can express your needs consistently, and you can also satisfy yourself.

If Mr. Hope sends himself flowers, then I will buy myself a bouquet to please myself. If Mr. Hope praises himself, then I will first appreciate myself little by little. And if I live a wonderful life, then how Mr. Hope treats me will not have a big impact on me!

Then, going back to the beginning of the question, you said you want to change, but you can't stick with it. That means you have the opportunity to change from the inside out! You just need to find the motivation to make it happen.

Then you can analyze what benefits you have in your current state, which make you willing to continue to "suffer" in this state. But there's so much more you can do!

A woman must respect and love herself in order to win the respect and love of others. She should always be mentally, financially, and ideologically independent!

Live your best life at home and build an amazing career! You'll be the one everyone wants to know, instead of chasing after them.

You'll absolutely have a better world if you're better!

I really hope my answer is helpful to you! I wish you the absolute best!

Hello, question asker!

You say you want to become better because you don't get the attention and love of your husband. Why not become better for yourself?

You said you were sensitive to a lack of love and uncomfortable when you couldn't get it in your marriage. Even now that you have a child, you can't live like this. You're afraid you'll become inferior and even worse. You came here to find my answer. Is that right?

Your state is the state that most women will have! I'll be honest with you—I feel the same way.

I discovered that the reason I felt this way was because of the accusations and suppression I received from my family of origin, which made me feel unworthy. I became very self-deprecating. In the process of studying psychology, I realized that I had become an accomplice to others, and I didn't like myself either, which led me to believe that no one likes me.

I don't know if my own feelings have inspired you in any way. It's a good thing that you want to become better, but you have to do it for yourself.

In your marriage, if you don't like yourself and are not satisfied with yourself, you can't expect your husband to like you. It's simple: in human interactions, the more humble you are, the less likely you are to get what you want. So hold your head high, be brave, and be yourself. Ask for love.

If a miracle happened and these uncomfortable feelings of yours disappeared, what kind of state of life would you be in? You need to ask yourself what you have done.

What would you do to make a miracle happen? If a miracle happened, you would be different, right?

Who will be the first to notice the change in you?

I can't know your specific situation, but I can give you general advice that will help you to alleviate your negative emotions.

First, adjust your mentality and learn to love yourself.

From your description, I can see that you're anxious and feel helpless. You also have an inner longing. If you want to change, you must learn to adjust your state of mind, learn to love yourself, and focus on yourself. Only when you love yourself will you have the strength to love your children and husband. There is a saying in psychology: If you are better, your family will be better.

Second, accept the status quo.

There are too many things in life that are not satisfactory. If we only see the things that we don't pay attention to, it will only make us feel more uncomfortable. We have to learn to accept the status quo. Letting go of the status quo is not a concession; it's a way to stop comparing yourself to others, accept yourself, accept that you have certain circumstances, and then calm down and think about it. Ask yourself: What do you want? Why is it like this?

You do that by waiting for some questions.

You must accept the debt to gain the space to seek your true inner needs and the time and strength to change yourself.

You need to learn to communicate well.

From your description, it's clear that you want your husband's care, but he's not providing it. You need to communicate with him. Tell him that now is the time for him to understand what you want. Some of your needs can only be met if he meets his own needs, and then he'll meet yours. This is true for anyone, so learn to communicate well. Don't do everything together, but find ways that suit you and your husband so that your life can be happy.

Next, you need to release your negative emotions.

From your description, I can feel the helplessness in your heart. This is normal. Everyone will experience negative emotions. Get rid of the bad emotions inside you. Talk to someone about it, or keep a diary if you can't. Exercise is also a great way to vent your emotions. It will make you happy and help you release your emotions.

Don't let emotions stay in your body. They will adversely affect your physical and mental health.

Seek help from external resources.

If you can't get out of this uncomfortable feeling, you need to seek help from a professional counselor. You can also learn some basic psychology yourself. This will help you grow and broaden your horizons, so that you can see your true needs and have the strength to change.

Finally, I want to tell you that life is not easy. You must look on the positive side, adjust your mentality, and become proactive. Only in this way can you get what you want. What do you think?

For the child's questions, do your best. He needs your company. Spend more time with her, listen to her, and give her a happy, healthy, and joyful childhood. It's the greatest wealth in her life.

Your marriage needs improvement. You need to show weakness, be cute, tell your partner your needs, and learn to identify their needs. If you satisfy your partner, they will satisfy you. You need to tolerate each other and support each other in life. Things will improve.

Good morning, In the context of romantic relationships and the broader spectrum of life, individuals often find themselves grappling with a multitude of challenges. However, it is encouraging to note that you are actively seeking personal growth and transformation, and that you possess a high degree of self-awareness. It is possible that you may have become ensnared by certain emotions. In order to facilitate your journey of healing, it might be beneficial to explore the various facets of your emotional experience. The process of opening the metaphorical "box of emotions" could potentially reveal insights and opportunities for growth. Would you be interested in embarking on this journey of emotional exploration with me?

Firstly, it is possible that the aforementioned "magic box" may contain a depressive mood, which is medically termed postpartum depression. This is distinct from depression, yet it is an emotional disturbance that is prevalent among a considerable number of young women following childbirth.

When a couple who is in a loving relationship has a child, the focus of their love begins to shift to the infant. At this time, the mother's love may be ignored, and the two-person home suddenly becomes a home for three people, or even two extended families. Because of the appearance of the infant, the mother is no longer the center of the family. The infant's father's family all pay attention to the infant, and the mother may be neglected. Many people experience postpartum depression, which usually occurs at this time. This requires the mother to adjust her emotions well, and her family needs to share their love with this new mother. However, most of the time, family members also ignore this, unintentionally or not, so the mother needs to take care of herself.

Secondly, the child may have indirectly resulted in the transfer of some of the love that should have been directed towards the husband. It is possible that the husband was not adequately prepared for the role of father and subconsciously expected the mother's love to be divided between him and the child. When the husband perceives that the mother is giving her love and care exclusively to the child, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a sense of being overlooked. The mother's desire for love and care from her husband, and her feelings of love for him, are understandable. However, the lack of communication and expression of these feelings may have contributed to a sense of frustration and dissatisfaction on both sides. The husband's apparent lack of interest and communication, which may manifest as coldness, irritability, and limited communication about important matters, can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Have you attempted to convey to her your feelings of unease and helplessness when she is in a more favorable emotional state?

Following the birth of a child after three years of marriage, the couple may experience a sense of uncertainty and confusion. It is crucial to assess whether they have discussed their expectations for the future and their plans for navigating the challenges of parenthood. The addition of a child to the family often leads to an increase in family responsibilities, which can contribute to stress and pressure. It is essential to identify whether the husband is experiencing these challenges and to facilitate open communication to address them effectively.

From your writing, it is evident that you are adept at self-reflection. You express doubt regarding your continued attractiveness following childbirth, the financial implications of maternity leave, and the potential for weight gain after giving birth. These concerns have led to a loss of confidence in yourself and a plethora of worries. This is a consequence of postpartum depression. There is a notion that a woman adorns herself for the sake of pleasing the one she loves. You express concern that your husband will cease to love you, which has led to a lack of motivation.

It can be argued that a woman who loves herself must not love someone else, and must first of all please herself. It could be proposed that a person who does not know how to love themselves will not be loved by others.

One must consider the following: the individual who should accompany you to old age is neither someone else nor anyone else but yourself.

If one's actions are undertaken for one's own benefit, the motivation must be the strongest. It seems that the desire to grow and become a better version of oneself is present, but the focus is misplaced. This may explain why one allows one's husband's bad mood and attitude to bother one. If one understands that only one is willing to do things for oneself, this may be the beginning of change. It is worth considering who among us would change themselves for someone else.

It is not possible for anyone to change another person. There is a saying that makes a great deal of sense: "Changing others is psychotic; changing oneself is spiritual!" If one wishes to lose weight and take care of one's skin, it is advisable to focus on oneself, learn more, make oneself beautiful, and allow others to admire one's appearance. It would be beneficial to identify an activity that one wishes to engage in, improve one's ability to earn money, and accumulate wealth. It is not advisable to beg for men's charity. That is what I would describe as a cool approach. One may say that they are lazy, but I do not believe that to be the case. One has given up hope on oneself and placed one's happiness in the hands of one's husband, which is why there is so much conflict and pain. It would be beneficial to place one's energy into oneself, and then no problem would be a problem anymore.

There is a well-known aphorism that I find particularly apt: "You are the root of everything, and love is the answer to everything."

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I've read your description and I totally get it. It sounds like you're struggling with feeling loved and cared for by your husband. And it's totally normal! We all need that love and support. I also get you wanting to lose weight, take care of your skin, focus on learning more about yourself, find something you want to do, and improve your ability to earn money. But you can talk about these things after you've made some improvements, right?

It's totally normal to feel a bit moody after having a baby. The hormones are all over the place! It's also totally normal to feel sensitive and emotional. If you're feeling really low, it's a good idea to go to the hospital to see if you're suffering from postpartum depression. If it's more severe, it's important to regulate your hormones and get some emotional support. You'll be feeling better in no time!

It's totally normal for every wife to want her husband's love and care. When we don't have an income and our husband's attitude towards us isn't great, it's only natural to feel frustrated. But you love him, and I truly believe he loves you too. You just need to work on your communication and exchange. When you can have deeper exchanges and more interaction and support on a psychological level, I'm sure your relationship will get better and better. But remember, to feel secure in a relationship, it's important for us to enhance our inner sense of security. As you said, when we constantly develop and grow ourselves and become confident and powerful, we'll be less sensitive and vulnerable in relationships.

So, my advice to you is:

1. If you want to communicate with your husband using the "Nonviolent Communication" method, it's really important to be honest and straightforward in expressing your feelings and needs to the other person.

The purpose of communication is not to prove who is right and who is wrong. It's so much more than that! It's about helping you understand each other better and promoting the development of your relationship. We need to communicate deeply in relationships, express each other's needs and feelings in a timely manner, and establish a deeper emotional connection and emotional exchange.

You can use the method of non-violent communication. It's really quite simple! All you have to do is state the objective facts, express your feelings, express your needs, and request the other person's actions.

It's important to be objective when stating facts, and to avoid being critical or accusatory. It's also really helpful to express your needs and feelings as they truly are. And when you're asking someone else to take action, it's a great idea to be as specific as you can. The more specific you are, the better! That way, the other person knows exactly what you need and how they can help.

For example, when your partner is not by your side and you cannot get in touch with him, you can send him a message saying, "Honey, you said that I... (state the objective facts, but be careful not to accuse him). I feel a little upset, worried, scared, and my heart is in turmoil. I feel so sad. I really care about you and love you very much. I need your understanding, recognition, and support. Can you give me more support and encouragement in the future?"

If you can, try to communicate every day, learn to share, and avoid a cold war. If he's not good at expressing himself, you can express more. Maybe you two just have different ways of expressing yourselves. You can also pay more attention to his other actions. For example, does he hug the baby when you're tired, cook, and help with chores? These aren't verbal expressions of care, but actions that show his care and love.

It's so important to be able to express your feelings and needs, share each other's lives, and let the other person understand your life status and dynamics. When you can do all of that, it can really enhance each other's sense of security and trust!

2. It's okay to take a break from focusing on your husband. Give yourself a little space to relax and enjoy other things in your life.

It's natural to want to focus on the other person and expect changes from them. But, we can't always be with them, and they have their own lives to live. They need time and space, just like we do. And, we can't control what they think.

If we get too attached, the other person may feel a bit trapped and, over time, may want to escape.

It's so important to remember that we can't control other people. The film "A Change of Heart" says there are only three things in the world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of God. It can be really hard not to worry about other people's affairs and the affairs of God when you're struggling with something yourself.

It's so important to remember that the other person's behavior and thoughts are their business, and we cannot control them. What we can do is respect and accept them, while at the same time taking control of our own affairs.

It's so important to remember that the behavior and thoughts of the other person are their business, and we cannot control them. What we can do is respect and accept them, while at the same time taking control of our own affairs.

When negative thoughts arise in your mind, such as "Will my husband be dissatisfied with me? Will he stop loving me? He doesn't care about me," at this time, you might as well turn your attention to other things, such as chatting with friends, going for a walk, reading a book, cuddling your child, doing housework, watching a movie...all of these are good choices.

Because when we're not busy, our minds can wander to all kinds of negative thoughts and ideas. Our brains never stop, they're always working! So, make your life more fulfilling by filling your time with things you enjoy. When you have a moment to yourself, try a new hobby like painting, playing a musical instrument, learning to cook, exercising, writing, or even growing flowers!

When your life is enriched, you can arrange yourself well when you are alone, keep doing the things you like, and enjoy the kind of heartfelt joy and sense of fulfillment. You will become more and more satisfied with yourself, and the negative thoughts in your head will naturally decrease or even disappear.

3. Give yourself a boost! Build up a sense of inner security and self-belief.

It's totally normal to feel insecure in a relationship. We all have our own insecurities, and it's okay to feel that way. But it's also important to recognize that our insecurities might be causing us to doubt our partner's satisfaction with us.

How can you give yourself a confidence boost?

The first step is to accept yourself, sweetheart. Accept your personality and your imperfections. See your shortcomings and inadequacies, but also your strengths and value.

The first step to becoming more and more confident is to accept yourself, my friend.

It's totally normal to find it tough to accept yourself, but you've got this! When that inner voice of self-doubt pops up, just keep practising. You've got so much going for you, and you're not perfect, but you're pretty great! You can use your strengths to live your best life, and that's something to be proud of.

When you accept yourself, you can live with your shortcomings, and your heart will become more and more relaxed and powerful.

You know, many people are just like you. They're imperfect, but they're doing their best. And you can do the same! All you have to do is accept yourself, your imperfections, and live a comfortable life.

Secondly, it's important to recognize your own worth and value, and to keep yourself positive with some lovely positive thinking!

I'm here for you!

It's only when we give ourselves a little love and support that we can become more confident, you know?

It's only natural to look for things we lack inside us outside. But the thing is, everything outside is a bit up and down and beyond our control. The good news is that we can control ourselves, our actions, and our thoughts.

It's okay to need external recognition sometimes. It just shows that we don't approve of ourselves enough. That's why it's so important to practice approving of ourselves and encouraging ourselves. When we approve of and support ourselves enough, we won't care so much about the approval and evaluation of others.

And when you accept and approve of yourself, it'll be like magic! Others will also increasingly approve of you and believe in you, because you'll exude your own charm and confidence.

So, you are the source of everything! Change yourself, and you'll change your world!

And don't forget to keep on improving your abilities and knowledge!

You know, confidence really does come from strength and hard work. And when we become the person we recognize in ourselves, we'll feel more and more confident and secure.

You can set yourself a suitable goal and then achieve these goals one step at a time. By constantly achieving your goals, your abilities will gradually improve, your knowledge will continue to accumulate, and your experience will become richer and richer. You will feel more and more secure, have a greater sense of control over your life, and naturally become more and more confident.

A suitable goal is one that's just right for you. It's not too easy, but it's not too hard either. If it's too easy, you'll get bored and lose motivation. If it's too hard, you'll get discouraged and lose confidence. A moderately challenging goal is the perfect balance. When you work hard to achieve it, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence.

So, for example, if you're currently walking 4,000 steps a day, why not aim for 4,500-5,000 instead of less than 4,000 or as high as 10,000?

When you set goals that are right for you, it's so important to stick with them. Only through action can you overcome difficulties and truly experience your own value. You've got this!

Keep up the great work! You're doing so well. Just keep encouraging yourself and telling yourself those positive things. You can do it!

Keep encouraging yourself, keep giving yourself positive mental suggestions, and believe that you can, and you really can!

It's also important to remember that you shouldn't worry too much about what others think. We can't control how other people judge us, so there's no need to fret about it. You're great just the way you are! Focus on doing your own thing, controlling your own actions and thoughts, and constantly breaking through and growing yourself. You'll succeed!

It's also important to remember that you shouldn't worry too much about what others think. We can't control how others judge us, so there's no need to fret about it. Instead, focus on doing your own thing, controlling your own actions and thoughts, and constantly pushing yourself to grow. You'll be amazed at how your confidence and self-esteem will flourish!

4. It's so important to give our emotions some outlet. Don't suppress them, don't ignore them, but channel and release them in a timely manner.

It's so important to let our emotions out, rather than trying to hide them away. If we try to repress our feelings, they'll just bubble up and come out in other ways, like anger or sadness. So, it's better to accept our emotions and find ways to let them out in a healthy way.

Let's say you're feeling a little aggrieved and sad. You can talk to your husband about it using the non-violent communication method we talked about earlier. You might not get a positive response, but it's still important to express your feelings. It'll help you feel more relaxed. You can also write about your emotions. Writing can be a great way to express yourself. You can also talk to someone close to you about your troubles and grievances. Mothers can be a great source of support because they understand your feelings. They've been through similar experiences. You'll feel understood and supported. We're all in this together, so you'll also feel a sense of belonging and your mood will relax a little.

We all get angry from time to time. It's okay! When you feel that anger building up, you can either go for a run or do some aerobics to release it. Or, you can try the empty chair technique. It's simple. Just place an empty chair in a safe space and assume that the person who makes you angry is sitting in it. Then, you can say whatever you want to say to them, whether it's constructive criticism or something more. This can be a great way to release that anger.

When you're feeling insecure and down, why not go for a lovely stroll in nature? Take in the beauty of the flowers and plants, the vast blue sky and fluffy white clouds, the majestic mountains and tranquil rivers. Let the magical power of nature lift your spirits! You could also read some inspiring books and practise self-acceptance and approval. Two great reads are "Rebuilding Your Life" and "Accepting Your Imperfect Self." They'll help you find your inner strength!

When you're feeling really nervous or scared, it can help to do some relaxation exercises, like breathing exercises or muscle relaxation exercises. You can also try developing the habit of meditating every day. This can help you to feel more peaceful and relaxed.

In a nutshell, when we let go of our emotions, we'll find a more balanced and peaceful inner self. This will lead to a whole new outlook on life, and we'll be more productive and efficient in everything we do!

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you all the best!

Good morning, my name is Wang Li, and I am a counselor at Yi Psychological Consulting. You have expressed a desire to improve various aspects of your life, including personal growth, weight loss, improved skin care, self-knowledge, new interests, financial competence, and the ability to earn your husband's love and attention. However, you have also indicated that you lack the motivation to maintain these changes over time.

From the aforementioned description, it can be discerned that the subject in question has a multitude of expectations placed upon her, yet lacks the requisite motivation to act. It is therefore pertinent to inquire as to what factors may be impeding the subject's ability to act. These factors may be related to the following:

You are perceptive and attuned to your husband's demeanor and disposition. When he exhibits a negative mood and a detached attitude, you experience heightened frustration and a diminished motivation to alter the situation.

Your sensitivity may be a consequence of your low self-esteem and sense of worth, which in turn may be a factor in your desire for your husband's care and love. When you perceive that your husband may be dissatisfied with you, you may experience feelings of inferiority and a sense of inadequacy, which may in turn diminish your motivation to change.

The following three suggestions are offered to assist in the pursuit of self-improvement.

Firstly, it is imperative to instill a sense of self-confidence, ascertain one's intrinsic value, and mitigate feelings of inferiority. Despite being married for three years, having a child born this year, and facing the challenge of an uncertain income, it appears that a lack of self-worth has been a pervasive sentiment over the past three years.

What have you done in the past three years? Despite the absence of an income, you have given birth to a child, which serves to illustrate your value as a mother and wife.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to attempt to enhance the quality of your relationship with your husband and identify more constructive methods of interaction. This could potentially lead to an increase in marital satisfaction and a reduction in feelings of loss. It is possible that you have encountered significant challenges during the process of marriage and childrearing. It is understandable that you desire your husband's affection and support, which you deserve as a wife.

One method for fostering a more harmonious relationship with one's spouse is to engage in open communication, wherein both parties express their needs and expectations.

In the event that your husband is in a disagreeable mood, it would be advisable to inquire as to the source of his discontent and to demonstrate an active willingness to listen to his concerns.

In this manner, one's spouse may also provide solace and reassurance when faced with adversity or necessitating support.

It is imperative to enhance one's intrinsic motivation. Without motivation, one is unable to actualize personal growth.

One's self-worth does not solely derive from one's spouse's affirmation; rather, it is of greater consequence to cultivate one's own motivation for self-improvement. This is because one's identity is not contingent on external validation but rather on one's intrinsic value as an individual. One's happiness and sense of fulfillment are not solely determined by one's spouse's perception but also by one's own actions and pursuits.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. You may also choose to engage in further communication and provide feedback on this platform. "The world and I love you!"

If one cultivates the conditions for growth, the desired outcome will ensue.

From your description, it is evident that you are a new mother, your child is still young, and you perceive a lack of closeness and understanding in your relationship with your husband. This has led to feelings of distress and helplessness.

The aspiration to improve oneself is a laudable one, yet it also marks the advent of transformation.

It is unwise to rely on others for support. Ultimately, one must rely on oneself.

It is recommended that the following actions be taken: 1. The raising of one's own children should be undertaken in a satisfactory manner. While child-rearing is a challenging task, it is also a source of joy. If one's spouse is capable of providing for the family and there is no immediate need for the wife to engage in paid employment, this should be the primary objective.

2. It is recommended that one engage in physical exercise during periods when one is not responsible for childcare. If studying is challenging, it is similarly important to prioritize maintaining one's physical health.

The act of perseverance is inherently challenging. In the case of a newborn child, the lack of immediate gratification and the necessity for sustained effort can be particularly daunting. It is therefore crucial to consider the potential consequences of a lack of perseverance in this early stage. If a mother fails to persevere in her efforts to care for her child, it could lead to a deterioration in the relationship with her husband, a loss of motivation, and a lack of resilience in the face of future challenges.

3. It is recommended that parents bring their children along, listen to music, and read together. This will enrich the parents' lives on the one hand, and cultivate good habits in their children on the other. When the parents' husbands see that the parents are raising their children well, the husbands will also be more understanding of the difficulties of child-rearing.

4. Begin with modest tasks, complete one task to a high standard, and persevere. When positive outcomes are achieved, offer oneself constructive reinforcement.

Once a woman has demonstrated her ability to adhere to a single task, she will find that it becomes less challenging to maintain her focus on other responsibilities. As she gains confidence in her ability to manage her time and meet her obligations, she may eventually feel ready to resume her career and generate an income.

As one's world expands, the relationship between a husband and wife may become more harmonious.

It is recommended that effort be applied to the tasks that one is capable of performing, as this may facilitate the resolution of the immediate predicament.

Good day. I am Du Ying, a listening therapist. I hope my response will be of assistance to you.

From your description, it is evident that the wife in question is experiencing a sense of dissatisfaction and indifference towards her husband's lukewarm attitude, particularly in light of her recent pregnancy and the resulting changes to her physique. She is keen to receive her husband's care and love, but is unsure of how to effect a change in the current situation. Let us examine this together.

Based on your description, I have identified several issues that require attention.

1. How might one adjust an unfavorable attitude?

2. How can I communicate with my husband, who is dissatisfied with himself and has a short temper?

3. Despite my desire to implement changes, I am unable to maintain them, such as losing weight and learning new skills.

4. What steps can I take to enhance my earning potential in light of my current unemployment status?

Let's proceed with a detailed analysis of each of these points.

First, let us address the issue of your mentality. You have stated that you are longing for love and striving to improve yourself. However, you have also noted that you are highly sensitive and have difficulty focusing on your tasks. This indicates a need for improvement in your mentality. You have also expressed concern that your current situation may lead to low self-esteem and a negative self-image.

The questioner's mentality appears to be influenced by external factors. When faced with negative feedback, it can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, loss of confidence, and increased sensitivity and unease. How can one adjust to improve this situation?

A few suggestions for the original poster: 1. Accept your current situation and recognize your value. It is normal for women to lose their figure after giving birth, and it is understandable that you are not currently working to care for your child. This is a significant sacrifice that mothers make to raise their children. Regardless of your husband's comments, the value of your contributions is evident and cannot be altered.

2. Cultivate an appreciation for the beauty in life and embrace it. Appreciate the happiness and joy that your child brings you as he grows day by day, and recognize the miracle of life.

3. It is important to learn to love yourself. When you are feeling down, it is beneficial to vent to friends and family to release negative emotions. Conversely, when you are in a good mood, it is helpful to treat yourself to a small reward.

It is recommended that you prepare a meal and enjoy it. It would also be beneficial to engage in activities that align with your interests and contribute to your personal growth, such as reading books about parenting and marriage.

In essence, individuals who have developed the capacity to love themselves are better positioned to love others.

Secondly, I would like to address the issue of communication with your husband. You have stated that he is indifferent and sometimes speaks in a cold manner. Apart from basic life matters, there seems to be a lack of communication between you and your husband. He has a bad temper and is grumpy, and he's not too happy with you either. From this text, it is evident that there is a lack of communication between you and your husband, which is not sufficient.

Please clarify whether you are certain that he is dissatisfied or merely suspect this to be the case. Additionally, please confirm whether his short temperedness is a recent development or if it has been a long-standing trait.

He has become indifferent and cold. At what point did this change occur? Is it possible that he feels neglected due to the demands of pregnancy and childbirth? In any marriage, the interaction between the two people is of great importance.

If you can identify and address each other's inner needs through effective communication, the relationship will flourish. Conversely, if interactions are primarily focused on surface-level emotional states, attributing blame, lack of satisfaction, mutual suspicion, limited communication, or verbal attacks, both parties may experience distress.

It is therefore recommended that the questioner learn to actively express their feelings and needs, increase the frequency and depth of communication, understand their husband's inner needs and hardships, express understanding and comfort for the pressure brought on by life changes, and learn to actively express their feelings, thoughts, and needs, so that their husband can see their own value and needs. The method of non-violent communication, which is facts + my feelings and thoughts + my needs or suggestions, is also recommended.

For example, I can see that you've been in a bad mood recently, and I'm concerned about your well-being. I hope you can tell me if something unpleasant happened at work or if you're just under too much pressure. I've been looking after the kids all day, and I'm experiencing fatigue. I hope you can provide some emotional support.

Third, how to achieve action goals. The questioner's objective is to become a better person by losing weight, which is a commendable goal. However, it is often challenging to persevere. Frequently, this is due to a lack of awareness about one's abilities and current situation, the setting of overly ambitious goals, or having too high expectations, which often result in giving up at the slightest setback.

It is therefore recommended that the questioner break down the action goals to the smallest, most easily achievable components. To illustrate, consider weight loss. A daily action plan could be to exercise for 5 minutes every day. This must be easy to achieve, with a record kept daily, progress monitored, and rewards given for success. As time progresses, the amount and duration of exercise can be gradually increased.

Even if you fail to complete a task on a given day, do not be discouraged. Instead, identify ways to streamline the process for the next day and execute it promptly. Provide yourself with more leniency, acceptance, and encouragement. The objective is to recognize completed tasks and celebrate incremental progress. By doing so, you will consistently improve.

Fourth, improving earning power: It is advisable to enhance your earning potential by pursuing work that aligns with your strengths, interests, and abilities. If there is a mismatch between your abilities and the work you do, it is essential to develop the necessary skills and knowledge to bridge the gap. This may involve a detailed plan of action, with clear steps to be taken on a daily basis.

It is our hope that the above suggestions will prove beneficial to the questioner. We wish the questioner the best in their efforts to overcome the current challenges, achieve personal growth, and lead a fulfilling life.

You know that feeling of wanting to change for the better when you feel bad about yourself? It's like an itch you just can't scratch! All those comparisons and gossip from the people around us can make us feel very frustrated, especially if our loved ones are not satisfied with us. But you know what? You can beat them at their own game!

That is, the other person will think that your perception is incorrect, your perception is inaccurate, and all your judgments are not in line with reality. But is that really the case? Maybe the truth is that you are good enough! It's possible that the people around you don't think you are good enough, and they don't think you should feel so good about yourself. They think you should be anxious. But you know what? You are good enough!

They think you should get busy attacking and criticizing yourself, but you know what? There are a lot of people around us selling anxiety, making you feel inferior and like you can't do anything. But here's the truth: you have given birth to a child, which is a very, very important thing!

You've already overcome your fear of giving birth, which is an incredible achievement. Now, you're starting to recognize some of your shortcomings and are learning to appreciate your strengths. It's time to build your core competitiveness and identify the areas you need to focus on the most.

You've got this! The most important thing you can work on right now is your career plan or your appearance and lifestyle. You want to improve yourself, and you can do it! For example, you want to try to lose weight or improve your personal charm because you feel that other people may not be satisfied with you.

So you are very eager to change yourself, and that's great! The process of change is gradual, which means you can slowly change each part. Just identify the shortcomings that really need to be changed, and you'll be on your way to becoming the best version of yourself!

But when we achieve the goals we want, we may no longer have friends around us. So be careful about changing yourself, and don't want to change everything. I highly recommend that you seek some counseling to fully examine your current state. It'll be the best decision you ever make!

Maybe you just need to work on your confidence because of things people have said. Or maybe you just need a job to support your ability to think independently in the future. Either way, I'm here to help! Good luck!

ZQ?

I respectfully suggest that the reason the original poster is struggling is that she has set herself an ambitious list of goals: "grow, become a better version of myself, lose weight, take care of my skin, pay attention to myself, learn more, find something I want to do, improve my ability to earn money, want my husband to love and care for me." It can be challenging to determine which goal is the most important and most wanted at the moment, where to start, and which goal is most likely to be achieved. It's understandable that it's difficult to know where to begin, let alone persevere and succeed.

The second paragraph of the question seems to indicate that the woman is feeling cold and dissatisfied with her husband, which may be leading her to experience feelings of inferiority, sensitivity, frustration, serious self-doubt, loss of confidence, and an inability to see the future and hope.

I'm not sure if the original poster has talked to her husband about her feelings or asked him what has caused his current indifferent attitude. Could it be due to setbacks at work or in his career, too much financial pressure, or does he feel that there are problems with his communication with the original poster? If not, if she just starts to doubt her husband's feelings and her own life based on her own guesses, and if she is wrong, it could lead to significant challenges for her.

If there are some issues in the communication and relationship between you and your partner, it would be helpful to address them together. It might be useful to discuss the impact of your words and actions on each other, as well as your expectations of each other and any changes you could make to improve the situation.

From my own experience of being a full-time mom for four years, I can empathise with the original poster's feelings. If there is no financial pressure, it might be helpful to consider taking the initiative to do something that you can do within your current abilities. You could start tomorrow, set a reasonable goal, and persevere. For example, you might like to consider losing weight, exercising, taking a family education or emotional management online course, or taking a professional course related to your previous major. It could be beneficial to check in every day and make a little progress every day.

Every day is a chance to make your life more fulfilling. You can learn something new every day, meet people outside the family, and focus your attention on more than just your husband's attitude. When you're in a good mood, you'll notice that the people and things you see will be different, and the atmosphere and state of the whole family will also be different.

Let's encourage each other.

Greetings, After perusing your query, I am compelled to express my profound empathy for your situation. If circumstances permitted, I would be gratified to extend solace and alleviate your distress.

You have expressed a desire to engage in various activities, including losing weight, improving your skin care regimen, focusing on your own well-being, and enhancing your financial capabilities. Additionally, you have recently given birth to a child. Has the child already been born, or is it still in the maternity ward?

In any case, it is understandable that you are experiencing fatigue given the demands of raising a newborn. However, you are still contemplating ways to "transform" in this context. You perceive yourself as "lazy," but this may not be an accurate assessment. It seems that your primary challenge is exhaustion. In this situation, it is crucial to shift your focus from attempting to "transform" to finding ways to ease your own burden and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Let us now turn our attention to the subject of your spouse's problems.

If he has a bad temper and is grumpy, and is also not satisfied with you, then it is pertinent to question why he married you in the first place.

He selected you as a spouse because he found a specific quality in you appealing; therefore, it is unlikely that he is genuinely dissatisfied with you.

One might posit that if a person is consistently angry with their partner, it is indicative of dissatisfaction. However, is anger necessarily a manifestation of discontent?

It is possible that he is experiencing fatigue from work-related stressors, perceiving the responsibility of family support as overwhelming, or engaging in self-reflection on the contrast between his own experiences of solitude and the challenges he perceives in supporting his family. These factors could potentially contribute to his anger and frustration, which may manifest as irritability and discontent directed towards his spouse.

There are numerous potential causes for an individual to become angry, and it is not always indicative of dissatisfaction with another person.

Indeed, it would be beneficial to engage in discourse with your spouse and parents regarding the present circumstances. Rather than attempting to alter your own perspective to align with theirs, it would be more constructive to communicate your concerns, apprehensions, and uncertainties to them.

It is imperative that you seek assistance from others and allow them to assist you in stabilizing your emotions. Rather than attempting to "transform" into a "super mom" who is beautiful, financially stable, charismatic, and capable of caring for a newborn infant, it is crucial to recognize that you possess neither three heads nor six arms. You cannot split yourself into two entities, and you cannot be as exceptional as you described in your initial inquiry.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon recover.

Hello, body!

Give yourself a warm hug. While you're working on getting better, there's a little voice in your head saying, "I'm not feeling great right now, so I really want to get better."

Have you noticed? This is the tricky part. If you want to change, you have to start by accepting yourself, even if you don't love every part of yourself. But this self is a special, unique person, and that's a wonderful thing!

And you also need to care for him, love him, and accept him, my friend.

I'd love to offer you a few ways to accept yourself.

Mindfulness meditation is a wonderful way to connect with your body and realize that you are the most unique and valuable person in the world!

Exercise is a great way to produce dopamine, which makes you happy! Try to exercise three times a week to boost your dopamine levels and feel more positive. When you're happy, you'll also find it easier to accept yourself, which is a wonderful side effect!

When your consciousness is focused on your own badness, you'll feel like you're bad, and the whole day will be bad. But when your consciousness is focused on your own goodness, for example, I now have a new baby. I raise my baby to adulthood, which is a very important thing, and it is also a very valuable thing. At the same time, I have my husband, and I love him very much, although I am now hesitant about whether he loves me or not.

But you know what? All you need to do is believe. And once you believe that he loves you, he will respond to you as you believe.

The world and I love you so much!

I think you're on the right track! It seems like you want to improve your own attractiveness so you can have a positive effect on your husband and even your wider circle of friends. It's great that you're already thinking about specific ways to improve, like losing weight and taking care of your skin. I know it can be tough to keep up with these changes, especially when you're trying to stick to a new routine. It's totally normal to feel like you need more motivation and perseverance sometimes. I've found that setting smaller goals can be really helpful. They don't have to be too ambitious, and they can be in line with your current level of perseverance. Once you complete a goal, it's important to give yourself a little encouragement. You can say something positive to yourself in the mirror or mark your progress on a calendar. This can help you gradually build up your perseverance and feel more confident in your journey. I believe you can do this! Keep up the great work, and I'm sure you'll see amazing improvements in no time.

I know you want to change for the better, but I think there's another way. I think that your desire to lose weight, take care of your skin, and so on is actually a reflection of your longing for love. It's as if you're saying, "I want to be loved and cared for, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen." Your character traits show that you're sensitive and that you crave love. But I also see that you're lacking in self-love. You're so used to waiting for your husband to love you that you've forgotten how to love yourself. Your feelings are controlled by your husband. You want to change for the better just so that he can love you back and you can then feel comfortable inside. Why is this so?

I won't go into detail here, but it generally has to do with attachment styles and the family of origin. If you're interested, you can read books on the subject. I'd love to help you with this!

I know it can be tough, but if you're hoping to change for the better just to make your husband attracted to you again, to value you and love you, then this kind of result might not be what you're looking for. The good news is that if you learn more about the principles of sexual attraction, you'll discover that the more outstanding and independent you are, and the less you depend on his feedback and evaluation, the more he will want to conquer you, which actually indirectly achieves your desired result.

It's also worth noting that women's attractiveness is often linked to reproductive value (think appearance, body shape, age, etc.). This is because it's linked to good reproductive ability, which is something that's been important for us since the beginning of time! So, if you can successfully lose weight and get in shape, you'll be able to release a very strong primordial sexual attraction. This is often more effective than becoming better at something for men.

Hello!

You want your husband to love and pay attention to you. You want to be more valuable to him. But you are anxious and don't know where to start.

If you want to improve yourself but can't seem to make it stick, let's break this problem down:

Make a list of 10 things you want to achieve.

Read this list every day. Pay attention to opportunities that can help you achieve your wishes. Use pictures to imagine it.

Keep a success journal every day.

Every evening, write down your achievements for the day.

When you have doubts, tell yourself this is a result. It's better to lack confidence than to be overconfident.

Think about your strengths.

Focus on your strengths. When you do, you're already on the way to success.

If you don't have confidence, you won't start. If you don't start, nothing will happen.

Hope this helps!

Hello! I'm here for you.

You've entered a new stage of life and become a mother this year.

This change can be a milestone. You have to deal with relationships between husband and wife, parents, and children.

Family relationships become complicated.

With a child, women are more likely to become mothers.

Fathers often find it difficult to get into the role. Some men become even busier after the birth of a child.

Some people give up their jobs to become full-time mothers. They lose their identity as independent women in the workplace and have to ask their husbands for money. This can also lead to a psychological gap.

Giving birth is often a big change for women. You may not have been ready for it, and your husband may not have supported you.

You may have lost touch with old friends because of having children.

This is just a possibility. I don't know the situation, but I want to give you some ideas. You and your husband should go to counseling.

There are ways to make things better.

Enjoy the present.

Our situation may not change, but we can change our attitude.

You spend a lot of time with your child because you're not working. Your child is changing every day, and time with our children seems long, but it's short.

Enjoy your child every day and record their growth.

Enjoy it.

Find people who share your interests.

Take your kids to the playground or local park. They'll make friends and you'll meet other moms.

I met other mothers with young children. Some have become good friends.

During the pandemic, follow the rules for preventing the spread of illness.

Set aside time for yourself.

Use the time when your children are asleep to do something for yourself: read, put on a mask, listen to music. Take care of yourself.

You can also read professional books or learn something else to prepare for the future.

This is a period of adjustment as you enter a new stage in your life.

For now, relax and enjoy the moment.

Talk to a counselor.

I'm a counselor who is sometimes optimistic. I love the world.

Hello, dear questioner!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're looking to make some changes and become a better version of yourself. You think that losing weight, taking care of your skin, and improving your ability to earn money are the best ways to do so. This can be a great way for us to find a sense of worth, but I'm a little confused because you say that your husband is cold towards you. Is there active communication between you?

I think it may be that in this relationship, your husband is having a hard time seeing all of your hard work and dedication. It's also possible that he's feeling a bit insecure about your financial situation and is taking it out on you.

Have you ever thought that this may not be your problem, but that you are just putting yourself in a low position, thinking that you are not capable of making money, that you have a bad figure, and that your skin is not good? I'm sure you're a great person, but it's possible that you lack self-confidence and a sense of worth. It can be hard to see the effort you put into your family, and that taking care of children also requires a lot of effort. We all work hard for our families, and it's natural to feel a little unsatisfied with yourself sometimes. Have you ever spoken about the suffering in your heart? Is it only the husband who is working hard?

I'm sorry if what I've said makes you feel uncomfortable.

How can you grow and become a better person, my friend?

I really want to help you, so here's my advice:

I know it can be tough to find the time to do everything you want to, but try to find one thing you can keep doing. You could keep a diary, writing down your thoughts, feelings, and emotions for the day, or you could write down your strengths and weaknesses and see which areas need improving.

You can also read some books to get to know yourself better. We all feel lost and dissatisfied with ourselves sometimes. This may be because we lack self-confidence or dislike ourselves, which means we don't accept ourselves. But you can change this! I recommend reading "I Want to Face the World with Confidence." It'll help you get to know yourself better and see the real you hidden deep within.

It's so important to remember that you can change for yourself. You don't need to change for anyone else. You are already mature and independent, whether you're single or married. When you understand that you're changing for yourself, not for anyone else, it's so much easier to change from the heart. You'll find the motivation to persevere!

Finally, learn to communicate actively and transparently with your husband, find out the reasons, and solve the problems. Don't let your self-esteem get in the way, be a confident woman, and be proactive. Take the power back into your own hands. If you want something, just go for it and try! Develop your abilities in all aspects, judgment, concentration, etc. When you have thought everything through, just go ahead and don't set limits on your life. In fact, you will enter such a state and also reap the transformation brought about by growth.

I really hope these ideas are helpful for you!