I was a housewife for seven years. I have a severe social phobia and always feel like I'm being watched, so I can't take that step.

Hello, questioner! I'm June Lai Feng, and I'm excited to help you!

The situation you describe may be related to personal space needs, social anxiety, and different reactions to familiar and unfamiliar environments. The severe social anxiety that developed after seven years as a housewife may be due to the fact that being in a relatively closed and monotonous family environment for a long time, and having less social interaction with the outside world, has led to a degradation of social skills and a gradual unfamiliarity and fear of social situations. This is an exciting opportunity for growth!

First of all, the need for personal space is a wonderful thing! It refers to the individual's need for self-domain and independence. Your mention of not liking to be overly interfered with in your life may reflect a strong need for personal space.

When you work in a big city, this need is well met thanks to the independence and autonomy of the environment. However, after returning to your hometown, the close contact with your family may make you feel that your personal space is being invaded, which may cause discomfort.

Second, social anxiety may also be a reason for your reluctance to engage with people. Social anxiety refers to feelings of unease, fear of evaluation or rejection in social situations.

Your mention of not liking too close a relationship and not being able to confide in family and relatives may reflect discomfort or anxiety in close relationships. This anxiety may stem from an over-concern for self-worth and an over-sensitivity to the opinions of others. But don't worry! This is something you can work on.

Your different reactions to familiar and unfamiliar environments may also influence your social behavior. You mentioned enjoying chatting with unfamiliar people, which is great! However, you also mentioned being reluctant to get closer to each other once the relationship becomes too familiar.

This may be related to the fact that you feel relatively comfortable in unfamiliar environments, but stressed in familiar ones. In unfamiliar environments, you can express yourself more freely without worrying about being over-evaluated or

This is a great self-protection mechanism! It allows you to maintain a certain distance from others, which is a wonderful way to protect yourself.

And now for the big finale! You're torn between wanting to go out to work and feeling watched.

It's possible that a lack of security is involved. Prolonged social isolation may make an individual feel insecure and lack trust in the outside world, which can create the illusion of being watched.

Absolutely! It's totally possible to be overly concerned with the opinions and evaluations of others after a period of disconnection from society. When you're facing the outside world again, it's natural to feel like you're being watched.

It's totally normal to feel a certain amount of anxiety when you're facing changes in your living environment. It's like your mind is playing tricks on you, making you feel like you're being watched!

So, how can it be improved?

First, recognize and accept your own feelings. It's important to recognize that your feelings are normal. Many people feel uncomfortable and anxious when faced with changes in their living environment. Try to accept your feelings and don't be too hard on yourself. You've got this!

Second, it's time for some self-reflection and exploration! Take a moment to think about your needs and expectations in terms of relationships, personal space, and career development. Knowing your own values and priorities will help you make decisions that are more in line with your inner needs.

And now for the fun part! It's time to start expanding your social circle. You can start by taking the initiative to establish contact with your neighbors and colleagues, and increase interactions with others.

And there's more! You can also establish healthy boundaries and learn to clearly define and defend your own boundaries in interactions with others. This includes learning to say "no" and refusing requests that make you feel uncomfortable or violate your personal space.

And don't forget to respect the boundaries of others and establish a mutually respectful relationship!

Next, it's time to conquer social anxiety! It's a common emotional reaction, but you can take control and reduce it. How? By taking deep breaths, practicing relaxation, and having positive self-talk. You've got this!

Then, it's time to talk to your family! Let them know what you need. You want more personal space and independence, but you also want their understanding and support.

Finally, it's time to start looking for work opportunities that suit you! You can find great opportunities in your hometown or even further afield. While you're looking, focus on your interests and career development. Don't worry about what others think – you're the expert on you!

In short, your emotional and behavioral responses are complex and require consideration of a variety of factors. The good news is that you can gradually find a way to deal with these issues that suits you through active communication and seeking support!

The most important thing is to give yourself time and patience. Change and growth are processes, so don't be too hard on yourself. You've got this!

You can do it! Believe in your abilities and value, and gradually explore a lifestyle and interpersonal relationship model that suits you.

Believe in yourself! You can overcome any difficulty and reintegrate into society. The first step may be difficult, but if you persevere, you will gradually find that your life becomes richer and more meaningful.

The world and I love you! Have a fantastic day!

Hello, questioner! I'm a Heart Exploration coach, and I'm excited to help you!

I have carefully read your confessions and confusions on the platform. You said that you have been a housewife for seven years, suffering from severe social anxiety and always feeling like you are being watched. You can't take that step forward no matter what. It wasn't like this before. Ever since you returned to your hometown after giving birth to your child, you have been unwilling to engage with others. Your circle of friends has become smaller and smaller. You feel uncomfortable crossing a certain line with your friends. You don't like close relationships. You don't like to share your innermost thoughts with your family and relatives. Instead, you enjoy chatting with unfamiliar people. I don't know what's going on, but I'm excited to help you figure it out!

It's totally normal to feel like you don't want to get too close to someone when you get too familiar with them. After all, you don't usually see people you get along with very well in person. But online, it's a whole different story! You can talk about anything with them. I know you're eager to go out and work, but because the county is so small, you always feel like you're being watched by your family, relatives, and former classmates no matter what you do. It's totally understandable! But I want you to know that you can take that step. Is there something you're worried about? I suggest you think about it, ask your heart, and maybe you can take a bold chance and find out. You've got this!

We're here to help you analyze and sort out:

1. Develop a positive attitude!

You say you are severely socially anxious and don't dare to interact with the outside world. If you want to make a change, I've got great news for you! A positive mindset is the key to overcoming low self-esteem. All you have to do is slowly adjust your mindset, learn to pay attention to and magnify the positive aspects, work hard to achieve your goals, don't easily dismiss your own ideas, cultivate a more positive self, and slowly regain your self-confidence.

2. Go for it! Make the best career plan you can!

Now that you have an idea, it's time to take action! It is recommended that you make a career plan, find what you really want to do, set clear goals, work hard to achieve them, go out boldly, gradually achieve your goals, readjust to the social environment, regain the confidence you have lost for a long time, and believe that you can do it.

3. Continuous learning and growth

It's great that you've taken some time out to recharge your batteries. Now it's time to get back to learning and growing! Keep your curiosity and thirst for knowledge strong by continuously broadening your knowledge and skills. You'll be amazed at how much more opportunity and self-confidence you'll gain. And you'll find yourself becoming more and more interested in interacting with the outside world!

4. Get out there and get some help!

If your inferiority complex is really getting in the way of your life and work, it's time to start building some positive relationships! Share your feelings and confusion with others, and they'll be there to support you every step of the way. You can also seek professional psychological counseling. These experts can provide you with more specific and personalized guidance to help you understand and overcome your inferiority complex, slowly overcome your psychological obstacles, and no longer be afraid and anxious. Before you know it, you'll be communicating normally with others!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, you can follow me (just click on my personal homepage), choose the Heart Exploration service, and we can have a one-on-one chat. The world and I love you!

Hello, I am Fei Yun, a heart exploration coach. Life is a beautiful journey, and it's time to appreciate it and bloom.

You feel the dilemma of being disconnected from society for seven years as a full-time mother and losing your circle of friends. You want to re-enter society, but you don't want to maintain too many connections with others, especially acquaintances. Let's discuss and share.

1. The sacrifices of a stay-at-home mom

As you said, you gave up your job and life in the big city to have children. You then returned to your hometown and devoted yourself entirely to taking care of your family and children. As you say, you have become consumed by the necessities of life, which have become the mainstay of your life. You see your role as providing for your family's basic needs, including eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom.

This has led to your current situation: you have fewer and fewer friends, your social circle is shrinking, and you are becoming more and more closed off. You are even less willing (or have no confidence) to maintain close relationships with others.

If you initially wanted to keep your family out of your life, but then, because you were in family life for a long time, you neglected your own personal growth, broke out of your circle, and your self-confidence also decreased, causing you to be unwilling – and eventually afraid – to interact with others, you will eventually become even more self-doubting and develop "social anxiety."

?2. The feeling of being watched is a result of a lack of self-confidence.

Our perception of people and things comes from our own life experiences. You don't have social anxiety when you work in a big city because of your work experience and the groups you come into contact with. When the stage of life is narrowed down to the scope of the family, your life experiences are different, and your perception of the world has also changed.

You feel watched because you've devoted more time and energy to your family and children than to your own learning and growth (reading, cultivating hobbies, etc.).

You also have no time to take care of your own social circle (making new friends). However, once your children grow up and go to school, full-time mothers who have previously considered their family and children to be their only focus (their career) suddenly find themselves adrift. You love your family with all your heart, but you have lost yourself along the way.

Parents especially feel a lack of belonging when their children leave home to go to college. Long-term patterns make it difficult for them to adapt to their new lives, and they lack the confidence and courage to change.

3. How to make a change

You're right to be aware of your closure and limitations. This is a good place to start, and it's the foundation of change.

Use the internet to explore fields that interest you. You can find a suitable field for yourself without worrying about seeing acquaintances or being "discovered" by others. You say that your best friends are from other places, and as long as you don't meet, you can talk about anything.

Transform your experiences and life lessons into compelling novels, essays, and articles. Expand your social circle and explore new interests and hobbies. You can realize your interests and skills.

There are always more than three ways to do everything. You can start with small changes and gradually regain the confidence and courage that are rightfully yours. The best way to cure motion sickness is to ride in a car more often.

The best way to cure social phobia is to socialize more.

You should watch the movie "Good Will Hunting." I hope your life is illuminated by love.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. I love you, and I hope the world loves you too.

If you want to continue communicating, follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

You've recently made a big change, moving from the city to your hometown and from a busy working life to being a housewife. This transition has not only made your social circle smaller, but it's also made you more aware of protecting your personal space.

You've come to realize that maintaining a certain distance from your family is really important to you. You don't like to be overly interfered with in your life, especially in recent years, after your children started school. You've had more free time, but your social circle doesn't seem to have expanded as a result. Instead, you feel uncomfortable because you are too familiar with some people.

You love chatting with new people because it's a simple, relaxed way to connect. But when the conversation gets more intimate, you might feel a bit uncomfortable and want to step away.

You're really happy with your relationship with your daughter who lives away from home. You like the distance because it makes you feel comfortable, and you also get to stay in touch with her a lot.

Let's take a closer look at what might be causing your social anxiety.

1. Role and environment changes: It can be tough moving from the big city to your hometown, or from the workplace to the family. It's natural to feel a bit out of your comfort zone in these situations. The repetitive nature of family life can also be a bit overwhelming, and the attention and comments from those around you can sometimes be a lot to handle.

2. Sense of personal boundaries: It's totally normal to want your personal space and to avoid overly intimate relationships. We all need to feel safe and secure, and it's natural to want to avoid getting too close to certain people.

3. Social comparison: In the small society of the county seat, you may feel that every decision and action you make is being watched and evaluated by those around you. This social comparison may make you pay more attention to your image in the eyes of others, which can increase your anxiety. We've all been there!

We've got some great tips and tricks to help you out!

1. Self-reflection: First, it's really helpful to take some time to think about what you want and how you can work towards achieving these goals.

It can really help to write down your feelings and needs to get a clearer picture of your inner world.

2. Set up a support system: We all have those family members and relatives we don't feel close to, but it's so important to have a small circle of people you can confide in and seek support from. This could be a few close friends or a professional counselor.

Stay in touch with them and share your feelings and thoughts with them. They'll be there for you, supporting and advising you.

3. Nurture your personal interests: Reading, painting, handicrafts, and other creative outlets can bring joy and fulfillment to your life. They also give you new topics to chat about, which is always a plus! These interests boost your self-confidence and charm, making you even more radiant.

4. Expand your social circle gradually: You can start by joining some hobby groups or community activities to gradually expand your social circle. When interacting with others, just be yourself and don't rush to establish deep relationships.

This will help you feel more at ease with other people and ease your social stress.

5. Plan for the future: It's a great idea to clarify your career plans and life goals. If you want to return to the workforce, you can first enhance your skills through training or self-study, and then look for suitable job opportunities.

If you'd rather play your part in the family, you can also look for part-time or voluntary work related to the family. Make a realistic plan and work hard to achieve it!

It's so important to have a reasonable plan!

Short-term goals (1–3 months):

It's always a great idea to get out there and meet new people! Try to join at least one community activity or interest group each week. You never know who you'll meet!

Make sure you set aside some time every day to pursue your interests and learn new things!

It's so important to communicate deeply with a few close friends or family members to share your feelings and thoughts.

2. Mid-term goals (3-12 months):

It's a great idea to enhance your vocational skills through training or self-study. And it's also a good plan to learn about the local job market and opportunities!

It's so important to communicate your career plans and goals with your family and relatives. They're there to support you, so don't be afraid to ask for their understanding.

It would be great if you could find a part-time or volunteer job to gradually integrate into the workplace environment.

And, of course, your long-term goal should be to find a job that you can stick with for more than a year!

It's so important to find a stable job that will help you achieve financial independence and enhance your personal value.

It's so important to build a stable and healthy social circle to satisfy your social needs.

Keep nurturing your personal interests and broadening your life experiences!

I really hope this plan helps you gradually overcome social phobia and achieve your career and life goals. And I really hope you can remain patient and persistent, believing in your abilities and value.

You're not alone in this fight, sweetheart. There are always people around you who support you.

Dear questioner, I can sense the challenges you have faced over the past seven years as a housewife, as well as the loneliness and unease you may be experiencing. I hope you will allow me to offer you some warm companionship and advice from the perspective of a friend.

I want to reassure you that you are not alone and that your feelings are valid and deserve attention. It is understandable that you may experience a change in emotions and social interactions when returning to your hometown after living in a big city.

The environment, interpersonal relationships, and pace of life in your hometown may be different from what you experienced in the big city, and this difference may make you feel a little uncomfortable and even a little scared.

Regarding the feeling of being watched that you mentioned, I wonder if it might be helpful to consider the possibility that this is a kind of psychological projection. When we feel that we are not being understood or are being threatened, we may tend to project our feelings onto the outside world, thinking that other people are also watching us.

It's important to remember that everyone has their own lives and concerns, and they may not have the energy to pay attention to every detail of yours. It might be helpful to try letting go of this worry and focusing on your own value and abilities.

I can appreciate your apprehension about forming close relationships. It's understandable that you might have reservations about getting too close to others or sharing your innermost feelings with family and relatives, especially if you've had past experiences where you felt hurt or misunderstood.

I would like to suggest that perhaps not everyone will hurt you, and that not everyone will misunderstand you. It might be helpful to try to choose some trustworthy people with whom to establish an in-depth relationship and share our thoughts and feelings.

I believe that you will find that building close relationships with people is a wonderful thing.

In response to your question about wanting to go out to work but not taking that step, I would like to offer some specific advice. One option is to have in-depth communication with your family and tell them your thoughts and expectations.

It might be helpful to let your family know that you're not avoiding your responsibilities, but that you're interested in pursuing your career goals. You could also ask for their support and assistance, which could provide you with a strong network to lean on as you embark on this journey.

You might also consider participating in some social activities or interest groups, which could help you to gradually expand your social circle. In the process, you may meet like-minded people with whom you can share your interests and hobbies.

I believe that this will not only make you happier and more content, but it will also help you make new social connections.

Additionally, you may wish to consider seeking professional assistance. For instance, you could consult with a career consultant or psychologist. They may be able to assist you in gaining a deeper understanding of yourself, developing realistic plans, and overcoming any fears you may have.

They will be able to provide you with professional guidance and advice, which may help you to feel more confident about taking that step.

Finally, I would like to suggest that you not be afraid of failure and setbacks. Every attempt presents an opportunity to learn and grow.

Even if you fail, it is important not to be discouraged or give up. Instead, try to learn from the experience, identify any lessons you can draw from it, and move on. It is also worth remembering that your value does not depend on whether you succeed or not, but on whether you pursue your dreams with courage.

If I might make one more suggestion, dear friend, it would be to believe in yourself and persevere. Your future is full of endless possibilities and opportunities.

I truly believe that if you take that brave step, you will be able to find your own happiness.

The questioner's heart is filled with suffocation, fear, conflict, and entanglement. On the one hand, the fear of social interaction makes the questioner reluctant to interact closely with others offline. On the other hand, the questioner wants to go out to work, but does not want to work in the county, thinking that he will be monitored by acquaintances and is afraid to make a decision easily.

The two problems the questioner is facing affect each other and can interact with each other. If you are afraid to interact with others, you will be afraid to go out of the house to work. If you feel that you will be monitored by acquaintances if you work in the county, you can go to work outside the county, such as in the city, province, or other provincial cities.

The questioner must realize that this idea of being watched by acquaintances reflects the questioner's inner desire to establish an intimate relationship with acquaintances. The questioner lacks a strong sense of security and confidence in intimate relationships, is relatively defensive towards loved ones, and is unable to have deep psychological exchanges with loved ones to obtain the emotional satisfaction they want.

You want to do this, so you can only communicate with others online. At the same time, the questioner is extremely negative, rejecting, and not accepting the need in their hearts for the attention, recognition, care, and intimate interaction of their loved ones. These problems are all factors that make the questioner afraid of socializing and require the questioner's attention and attention.

If you feel it is necessary, you should seek formal psychological counseling from a suitable counselor.

The questioner stated that he has never been able to take this step, which is like the threshold of the house. People outside the door keep telling the questioner that there is no danger outside and that he just needs to feel at ease and walk out. However, the questioner is not convinced that there is no danger outside. So what should he do? He must make a choice and decide for himself because this is his own business. It is his responsibility to face and bear it, and he alone can do so. No one else can bear this responsibility for him.

You must decide whether to accept the fear in your heart, overcome the pain caused by the conflict in your heart, and take that first brave step, or remain trapped by your fear and pain and continue to stay at home. Stepping out of the house is painful and difficult at first, but it is the beginning of a brand new life.

If you don't take this step and stay home, you'll avoid intense pain but miss out on the chance to start a new life. You'll also have to face fear, pain, and suffering for longer. These are my personal opinions, but I think they're worth considering.

Once you get back home, you might feel a bit out of sorts at first, especially if you're used to a different living environment and social circle. It's totally normal to feel a bit conflicted, especially if you're used to having a certain degree of independence and space, but at the same time, you're still subject to the attention and expectations of family and relatives.

First and foremost, it is important to understand how you feel. You don't want to be overly intruded upon, and you don't like overly intimate relationships. This is your personal boundary and comfort zone, and it's important to honor it!

Respect your own feelings and communicate with your family and relatives to let them understand your needs and boundaries. They'll be so happy to hear from you!

Next, it is also important to establish a social circle that suits you. You can try joining interest groups or social activities to meet like-minded friends—it's a great way to make new friends!

This is a great way to expand your social circle while still enjoying the interaction with others.

Regarding the close relationship you mentioned with your daughter who lives away from home, it may be because you share common interests and topics, and don't have to deal with the trivialities and conflicts of daily life. This relationship can bring you so much emotional support and comfort, making you feel more at ease and comfortable than ever before!

I totally get where you're coming from with wanting to work outside the home. It can feel like in a small county town everyone is watching and judging you, but you can do it!

But your life is your own, and you have every right to pursue your dreams and career! If you really want to go out to work, try communicating with family and relatives to let them know your thoughts and plans.

Also, find people who support you! Friends and mentors are great for giving advice and encouragement.

And finally, I want to say that you absolutely should not care too much about what other people think or say. Your life is yours, and your choices are yours!

If you feel that your choice is the right one, then go for it!

Dear friend,

I totally get where you're coming from, and I'm really grateful you've shared these feelings with me.

Let's work together to find some strategies that will help you feel better overall.

Self-acceptance is so important!

First of all, remember that everyone is different and has their own unique personality and needs.

You're doing great! Don't be too hard on yourself and accept your preferences and comfort zones.

If you enjoy chatting with unfamiliar people more, that's perfectly normal!

2. Boundaries:

You said you don't like being too close to people, but you also don't want the relationship to get any closer.

This is something a lot of us go through.

It's totally okay to set some clear boundaries, like maintaining a certain distance while still being friendly and respectful when you're around family, relatives, or classmates.

3. Career Development:

You're ready to jump out there and start working, but you're feeling a little nervous about being watched.

It's true that in a small town, folks tend to keep a closer eye on your every move.

However, you might want to think about the following:

- Privacy: You don't have to tell everyone your plans. It's totally okay to keep some things private! Share your career goals only with people you trust.

- Professional development: Look for work that relates to your professional background. This will help you focus on your career development without worrying too much about what others think.

4. Social skills:

Even though you're not the type to get too close to people, it's still important to make a few superficial social connections in the workplace and in life.

You can start with small things, like saying hello to your neighbors and taking part in community activities. Before you know it, you'll have made some great new friends!

5. Psychological counseling:

If you feel like these issues are affecting your quality of life, it might be a good idea to look into professional psychological counseling.

A counselor can be a great help to you. They can help you understand yourself better and provide you with some really effective coping strategies.

And remember, your feelings are totally normal, and everyone is wonderfully unique!

You don't have to worry about what other people think. Just focus on yourself and be happy!

I wish you all the very best!

Hello! Based on the information you've shared, we can look at your confusion from the perspective of psychoanalysis and object relations together.

It's totally understandable that you're reluctant to engage with others after returning to your hometown, especially your distance from family and relatives. It's likely that your reluctance stems from your pursuit of individual freedom and independence, as well as a defensive reaction to the control and interference that may have existed in past relationships. This psychological mechanism helps you maintain a sense of personal boundaries and autonomy, which is really admirable.

You mentioned that you have boundaries in your relationships with friends and enjoy chatting with unfamiliar people, which may be related to the type of object relations you seek in social interactions. It's totally normal to prefer to maintain a certain distance to avoid the stress and discomfort caused by excessive intimacy.

I can see you're feeling a bit confused about wanting to go out to work but feeling watched. I'm here to help! This may be related to the conflict between your inner desire for freedom and external pressure. I'd recommend you try communicating honestly with your family and relatives, expressing your needs and expectations, and seeking their understanding and support.

I'd also suggest you look into some remote work or freelance opportunities, which can be a great way to reduce direct intervention from the outside world. And don't forget to gradually expand your social circle and find more like-minded people by joining interest groups or social activities!

Above all, it's so important to recognize your own needs and feelings and to courageously pursue your own happiness and satisfaction. I truly hope you can find a path that suits you and live the life you want.

Hello, question asker.

You don't like socializing with acquaintances in your hometown.

In big cities, people are more concerned about themselves. In hometown social circles, people know each other well and gossip about each other's family and personal matters. There is no privacy left.

Tell me what makes socializing in your hometown uncomfortable for you.

Tell your relatives your innermost thoughts. They won't tell others. They won't affect your family relationships.

Your faraway best friend talks about everything, and listens to you.

But socializing nowadays makes you feel insecure and afraid to speak your mind.

People need to socialize and they need friends.

They can keep you company and listen to you.

You say you have a lot of friends, which is great. It can make your social space less limited. Different people have different attitudes towards life, and being with them can show you a different world.

You don't need special friends. What you need is a few close friends.

You say you are afraid of being watched, which sounds like you have deep concerns about your business being unsuccessful and being talked about by others. Tell me, is it something else?

Your career is for you. You can't control what people say, so don't worry about it. If you do well, some people will be jealous. If you don't do well, some people will gloat.

The key is to own your business and pour your own hard work into it. Success depends on your efforts, the right time, the right place, and the right people. Many people who started businesses during the pandemic failed.

They might pay attention to you, but they'll probably just use you as a topic of conversation. You can tell who genuinely cares about you and helps you. If you care too much about what they think, it'll only hold you back.

You're doing great! Keep up the good work!

Hello, I've read your description and have some thoughts. You have social needs that conflict with the values of those around you. You can't resolve this on your own and have developed an avoidance mentality.

Based on your description, analyze it.

1. "I want to maintain distance from my family and don't like to be interfered with." Habits and lifestyle reflect values, such as what is right and wrong.

They feel their values are being interfered with, and you don't approve.

2. "My children have gone to school, and I'm getting more free time, and my social circle has shrunk." Everyone needs to interact with others. When your children were at home, you had a lot to do, and this need was ignored or took a back seat. At the same time, perhaps because your children needed help, there was still some interaction with others through your children, and the topics were focused. There may have been fewer conflicts due to differences in values.

After the kids started school, I had more time alone. I felt like my social circle had become smaller.

3. "I have a lot of friends, but I don't feel comfortable once we cross a certain boundary. I don't like to get too close to people, and I don't like to share my innermost thoughts with family and relatives. Instead, I enjoy chatting with unfamiliar people." Having a lot of friends is more like having a lot of acquaintances. What is that boundary?

I think it's a boundary of differences in values. When the relationship gets closer, the conversation will get deeper, and the boundary will be touched. That's why I don't like it when the relationship gets too close. I enjoy chatting with unfamiliar people because I like social interaction. People who don't know each other only chat about superficial things, so the chance of touching that boundary is small.

4. My best girlfriends are from other places, and we don't see each other. We can talk about anything online.

You can't interact with many people in real life, so you communicate with your best friends through online tools. They may share similar values and there are many topics to talk about.

5. "I always want to work, but I feel watched by my family and former classmates. I can't take that step." There are two needs for work: financial income and social interaction.

If you're not financially stressed, you probably need the latter. Feeling watched is usually because you need privacy and space. There might also be a personality factor. I think the real reason is a difference in values. You might feel that others don't approve of your actions and worry about them finding out.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Look for common ground while accepting differences. People in big cities and small counties have different ways of thinking and living, but they have the same basic needs. If you get to know each other better, you may find more topics, interests, and meaning for communication.

I thought of an example. Back then, revolutionary soldiers went back to their hometowns to mobilize the masses. They had different ideas, but they communicated through similarities and were able to influence people.

2. Open up the blocked area and be open-minded. What if your communication with them touches on the blocked area?

Instead of avoiding, try opening up a little bit. You might find it's not a big deal.

3. Find people with similar interests. For example, parents whose children are classmates can form a strong bond. Keep looking for people you have things in common with.

I hope this helps or inspires you.

Good day. I am pleased to have this opportunity to respond to your inquiry. I hope that my suggestions will prove helpful to you.

From your description, I understand your desire to implement changes in your life as soon as possible.

In our daily lives, we tend to have a certain inertia, and each of us has a certain degree of dependence on the state within our comfort zone. When we want to change our habits or break out of our comfort zone, we may have some concerns, fears, or hesitations about taking that step. This is a normal situation.

To take that courageous step, it is essential to consistently reinforce our psychological resilience. We can motivate ourselves and cultivate our courage through the power of positive thinking.

The process can be carried out in a gradual, step-by-step manner, beginning with a willingness to communicate with others. This communication is optional, and there is no obligation to socialize with individuals with whom one is not comfortable.

It is important to communicate and interact with individuals with whom we have a positive rapport. This is not about the quantity of social interactions, but rather about having the necessary social interactions. During this process, it is essential to monitor our own state of mind. Have we made gradual adjustments and changes?

Additionally, it is possible to seek guidance from professionals to help establish a direction for socializing and work. Identifying a suitable local position can also enhance one's social status and abilities. This approach provides motivation to take action.

Finally, we can communicate effectively with our partners, keep them informed of our current situation and our thoughts, and expect them to provide support when needed. We can also run through some scenarios together, which will help us to prepare.

We hope that through self-exploration or the assistance of those around you, professionals can help you identify an appropriate method for building up your courage, taking the first step, and implementing changes.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my love for the world and for you.

Hello, I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I am concerned to see that after seven years of being a housewife, you are now returning to society with various serious social phobias. This state of social phobia will affect your quality of life.

You may face difficulties returning to society and finding a job. However, most of us want to return to society. Returning to society increases our financial reserves and allows us to pursue a career.

You can find your ideal position, become financially independent, and truly open your eyes to the world.

You used to work in a big city, and everyone has their own things to do. In a small county, things are different. Life in a county is usually slow-paced, and everyone sees each other all the time. There is a lot of back and forth, and there is free time to pay attention to other people's lives and gossip about them.

You may also feel that many details of your life will be noticed by others, whether it is your parents, family, relatives, friends, or classmates. They may occasionally pay attention to your situation and judge you for it. They may wonder why you are doing this or why you are in this state.

We have returned to our hometown and county, and it's time to face the facts. This kind of thing will happen. We must accept it and understand that in a small county, there are bound to be stories, and everyone will talk about it.

They have a right to say what they want, and we can't stop them. You always feel like you're being watched, and you want to keep your distance because deep down you just don't like being overly interfered with in your life.

The internet is a different story. You can talk about anything there, and you can protect your privacy. In real life, there's no such barrier. Everyone is exposed as a real person, so you have to be careful in everything you say and do.

You may not be able to leave the county for the time being because of your child or other reasons. In that case, you have to learn to reconcile with yourself and with this county. You may be criticized by all kinds of people, but you have to do it anyway.

We may have to give up our privacy, but we still need to be ourselves.

Don't let what other people do stop you. Life still needs to go on. Read "The Man Who Chased Time," "What Life Do You Want to Live?" and "An Idea Changes a Person's Life." Fight for yourself.

Live for yourself. Don't let the opinions of others dictate your life. Follow your own path and don't let others talk you out of it. It's a small county, and you have to be aware and courageous to be yourself. Set boundaries and don't let others' words or attention affect you. I also recommend that you seek psychological counseling. I wish you well.

ZQ?

Dear Sir/Madam, I have read your description of your confusion and hope that my written response will be of some assistance to you.

1. Interpersonal relationships: Adler postulated that all difficulties originate from interpersonal relationships. The fundamental aspect of interpersonal relationships is establishing harmony with oneself.

It is essential to engage in self-reflection and gain a deeper understanding of one's own identity. To achieve this, it is necessary to detach from external influences and engage in a process of introspection. This entails asking oneself a series of questions aimed at gaining insight into one's own perception of oneself.

One must also consider whether one has positive feelings towards oneself and whether one is genuinely interested in oneself.

One must also consider whether one is willing to take care of oneself and whether one appreciates oneself.

One must also consider whether one is capable of loving oneself and accepting oneself unconditionally.

One must also consider whether one is willing to contribute to one's own growth and development. Furthermore, one must determine whether one is willing to allow oneself the necessary time and space to facilitate this growth.

Furthermore, it is important to recognize that one should not demand too much of oneself beyond one's capabilities.

It is recommended that you engage in self-talk, conversation, and introspective dialogue.

2. It is important to recognize one's own contributions and affirm the achievements that have been made. For a period of seven years, what have I done in the role of a housewife?

Caring for children is a demanding task that requires significant time, energy, and dedication on a continuous basis. It is a responsibility that is comparable in its complexity to any other job outside the home.

The notion of a "high" or "low" job is a misnomer; the designation is contingent on the specific responsibilities and demands of the role in question.

The value of one's contributions should be considered in light of the time invested. A calculation of the worth of various roles, such as stay-at-home mother, nanny, housekeeper, teacher, or caregiver, will demonstrate the significance of these endeavors.

It is important to recognize that as children grow older, they become less in demand, have more free time, and are no longer as rushed. This is an opportune time to prioritize self-care and self-love.

Regardless of the circumstances, you are worthy of respect and consideration. It is imperative to recognize that your efforts are commendable, even if they do not align with your exact expectations.

3. Be aware. Respond. The greatest confusion is experienced when the urge to engage in paid employment arises, accompanied by the sensation of being monitored constantly, regardless of one's actions.

One might inquire as to the implications of being observed.

One might inquire whether it is possible to avoid making mistakes. To gain insight, it is recommended to pose additional questions, as the answer may be embedded within the question itself.

It is inevitable that everyone will make mistakes and that they will all have their own unique set of skills and abilities. It is important to remember that nobody is perfect and that we all have our own unique set of experiences and challenges.

Persevere!

I extend my best wishes to you, wish you a life of virtue, and believe that the future will be favorable for you.

Hello, I'm Li Di, and I'm so happy we got to chat!

From what you've told me, it seems like you've been working from home for seven years. That's great! It's wonderful that you're comfortable in your own home and in your own safe circle. However, it seems like you might feel a bit uncomfortable if you get too close to others. It's totally understandable! It seems like you're ready to go out to work, but you're feeling like you don't have enough energy. It's also clear that you're facing some relationship difficulties, and you're feeling very insecure. You're feeling very anxious, and I can see that in the way you're hugging me. I'd love to discuss a few things with you about your current situation.

☞First, I didn't feel reluctant to get along with others when I used to work in a big city. So what was my pattern of getting along with others like when I worked in a big city back then? Did I feel a particularly obvious reluctance to get along with others?

☞Not liking to be in contact with people, feeling uncomfortable when a certain boundary is crossed, not liking too close a relationship, not liking to talk about their innermost feelings with family members and relatives, and seeing that we have a lot of dislikes here. Has something like this happened before? It seems like you might be feeling insecure about too close a relationship. Could it be fear of being hurt?

I have so many friends, but I don't want to get too close to them. My close girlfriends are basically far away from me, and they are deliberately maintaining boundaries. It seems like a kind of self-protection. Do you think that's true?

I'm really struggling to understand why I always want to go out to work, but because the county is so small, I always feel like I'm being monitored by my family, relatives, and former classmates no matter what I do. I get the feeling that your current living environment is not very secure, as if the people around you cannot give you support. Is this feeling of being monitored real, or am I just being too sensitive?

The above discussion is just my way of showing interest in the situation you described. If there's anything you don't feel comfortable with, no problem! I'm just making some assumptions here.

I really hope this analysis and discussion of psychological aspects helps you understand yourself better.

I totally get it. I know you're going through a rough patch. It's totally normal to feel watched and socially anxious. There are lots of reasons why this might happen, including a need for personal freedom, an emphasis on privacy, and a sense of discomfort with changes in your social environment. These feelings may come from a desire to find yourself and feel in control, and they might also be a natural reaction to past experiences.

In psychology, this feeling may be related to something called "social monitoring." It's when you're paying attention to what's going on around you and trying to figure out what other people are thinking and feeling. When you feel like people are watching you too closely, it can make you feel like you're being watched, even when they're not.

This feeling can lead to social avoidance and a sense of loneliness, as it restricts the individual's normal interactions with others. It's totally normal to feel this way!

I totally get where you're coming from with the "inability to take that step." It can be really tough to change the status quo, especially when we're uncertain about what the future holds. I've heard this in psychology called "action disorder," and it's something a lot of us face.

It's totally normal to feel afraid when faced with change. Especially when it might affect our sense of security and comfort zone.

So, let's tackle these challenges together! Here are a few approaches we can try:

☆Cognitive restructuring: This is a great way to identify and challenge negative thought patterns that cause anxiety. Once you've done that, you can replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts!

☆Emotional release: Give yourself the gift of experiencing and expressing your emotions. Don't hold back! Let your feelings flow through you in whatever creative way you love, whether it's through writing, painting, or something else.

Self-acceptance: It's so important to recognize that everyone has the right to live at their own pace and does not need to conform to the expectations or standards of others.

☆Self-exploration: Take some time for yourself to write in a journal or do some other form of self-reflection. Think about why you might be reluctant to share your thoughts with people close to you. When we understand our true feelings and needs, it helps us to understand ourselves better and find solutions to problems.

☆Self-growth: You know you've got this! Shift your attention to personal growth and development, whether through learning new skills or developing new hobbies. You'll feel more confident and less dependent on external evaluation.

☆Building trust: Look for friends who respect your boundaries. You'll be surprised how quickly trust grows when you're with people who respect you!

☆Social skills training: This is a great way to build your confidence! You'll get to practice the skills of establishing and maintaining interpersonal relationships in a safe environment, such as socializing online or joining interest groups.

For those who want to work, you might want to think about some possibilities like remote work or even starting your own business. These can help reduce the pressure of direct interpersonal contact to a certain extent. At the same time, you can also find job opportunities through online platforms, which can protect your privacy while helping you to develop your career.

If you feel like these feelings are affecting your daily life, you can also seek help from a counselor. They can help you understand why you're feeling this way and give you specific strategies to manage social anxiety.

Asking for help is a great way to take care of yourself. It's not a sign of weakness! With professional guidance and support, you can learn more about your feelings and find ways to deal with them in a healthy way.

We all have different paces of life and comfort levels. It's totally normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at first. Give yourself some time and space to adapt to the changes, and believe in your ability to gradually overcome these challenges. You've got this!

Come on, you can do it!

I really hope my answer is helpful for you! I love you all so much, and I'm sending you all lots of love and support! ??

Hello, question asker!

I totally get it! It can be a bit overwhelming to jump back into the job market after seven years at home. It's a challenge that anyone who's been out of the workforce for a while might face. But you've got this! Hugs!

This situation may be a manifestation of social anxiety disorder, which is a common psychological disorder that presents as intense anxiety and fear in social situations. It's a great opportunity to work through some of those feelings and learn how to handle them in a healthy way!

This symptom may cause the patient to avoid social situations, affecting their daily life and work. But there is hope! With the right support, you can overcome this challenge and thrive in social situations.

In your case, there may be several factors that have contributed to the emergence and development of social anxiety disorder.

1. Historical factors: Being a housewife for seven years may mean a period of time without participating in work and social activities, which may lead to the degradation of social skills and discomfort in social situations.

2. Environmental pressure. The social environment in small counties may be relatively closed, and the expectations and comments of relatives, friends, and family may put additional pressure on you, making you feel like you are being watched.

3. Cognitive bias: You may be overly concerned about other people's opinions and judgments, and believe that your every move is under the scrutiny of others. This cognitive bias can exacerbate social anxiety. But here's the good news! You can overcome this cognitive bias and take control of your social anxiety.

4. Behavior avoidance: You may choose to avoid chatting with family and friends due to the fear of social situations. This is an opportunity to work on your social skills! With the right approach, you can turn this behavior avoidance into a positive step towards overcoming social anxiety.

I'm excited to share some tips on how you can deal with this situation!

1. Recognize and accept. First, recognize that your feelings are a symptom of social anxiety disorder and accept this.

This is the first step towards a brighter future!

2. Get the help you need! Seeking the guidance of a counselor or clinical psychologist is a great way to start.

The great news is that professionals can help you identify and change irrational thinking patterns and learn coping skills for social situations through methods such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

3. Gradual exposure: This is the fun part! Gradually expose yourself to social situations, starting with small, low-stress environments, such as having short conversations with strangers. Before you know it, you'll be ready to take on more challenging situations.

4. Social skills training. This is a great way to learn how to express yourself confidently in social situations and build relationships!

5. Self-Relaxation. It's time to learn and practice some amazing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and mindfulness meditation. These will help you reduce those feelings of anxiety.

6. Active lifestyle. You can reduce anxiety symptoms by maintaining a healthy lifestyle, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep!

7. Social support. It's time to share your feelings and experiences with trusted friends or family members. They'll be there for you every step of the way!

I want to tell you that it is important to note that change takes time and patience, and you should not be too hard on yourself. Each small step of success is an important step towards a more confident and comfortable social life, and you can do it!

You can do this! You can find your own work, improve your life, and the world will love you for it!

Thank you for the excellent question.

It is understandable to experience negative emotions such as those described, including feelings of social anxiety and a sense of being watched, particularly when one has been a housewife for seven years.

Please consider the following points:

They dedicate a significant portion of their time to childcare, are reticent to divulge their emotions to family and friends, and maintain a considerable distance from others.

This may be attributed to an individual's personality traits, past experiences, or a coping mechanism employed to safeguard personal well-being.

For example, past experiences of being hurt or betrayed may cause individuals to be reluctant to form close relationships, to trust others, and to share their inner feelings.

Such individuals may also experience an extreme negative emotional state, such as the perception of being constantly watched.

Additionally, they may believe that disclosing their genuine emotions would render them susceptible, prompting them to maintain a certain distance to safeguard their interests.

Alternatively, they may be reluctant to form close relationships due to concerns about social interactions.

It is also possible that the individual may lack the ability to express their feelings or emotions effectively, leading them to avoid sharing their inner world with others.

However, the desire to "always want to go out to work" requires adaptation to new work processes, skills, and social environments. In addition to "severe social phobia," it leads to doubt about one's abilities and value, which in turn makes it "always impossible to take that step."

Furthermore, spending extended periods with your children has also somewhat eroded your confidence in social situations, and you may feel uncomfortable and unsure about the need to re-engage with other people.

It is important to allow yourself time to adjust to your current situation. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the space you need to navigate this transition.

To this end, you may wish to consider implementing some of the following measures and approaches:

First, it is essential to rebuild your self-confidence.

Based on the aforementioned analysis, identify the underlying reason for your reluctance to share your innermost thoughts and feelings with others and maintain a certain distance from them.

It is important to understand and accept the negative experiences and feelings you may have had in the past. Doing so will help you move forward and focus on the present rather than dwelling on the past.

It would be beneficial to review some of your previous work experiences and family achievements. This will allow you to re-recognize your abilities and value, and to believe that you can also overcome the current challenges and pressures you face.

Secondly, it is advisable to attempt to cultivate a trusting relationship with family and friends.

This can only be achieved incrementally through transparent and authentic communication and mutual assistance.

You may wish to commence with relatively straightforward subjects and then progress to more complex topics. This will enable you to become more comfortable with sharing personal information with others and fostering closer relationships.

Furthermore, it is important to accept your own and others' imperfections, avoid excessive self- or other-imposed demands, and extend tolerance and understanding to yourself and others.

It is also important to continue to develop your skills.

It is recommended that, if possible, you begin your return to work with part-time hours, an internship, or volunteer work, gradually transitioning to full-time. This approach can help mitigate the challenges associated with adjusting to a new work schedule.

Additionally, you can update your workplace skills and enhance your self-confidence through training, self-study, or participation in more practical activities.

Additionally, you may wish to consider joining social activities or interest groups, which can help to expand your social circle and facilitate the formation of new connections and a sense of closeness with others.

Finally, it is advisable to seek additional social support.

As you have done, take the opinions and suggestions of the teachers on board and then proceed to implement the changes.

Should you experience any difficulties in coping, we advise you to seek the support of a professional counselor or therapist at the earliest opportunity.

A professional counselor can assist you in identifying and addressing your inner challenges in a constructive manner.

I hope this information is of some assistance.

Hello!

After being a housewife for seven years, I feel a bit socially awkward. I always feel like I'm being watched by my family, relatives, and former classmates, and I can't take that step. I'd love some advice on how to handle this!

Let's work through this together, okay?

From what you've told me, it seems like your current state of mind is related to your environment. It's possible that you're having trouble fitting into your current living situation.

If you can change your living environment, for example, by returning to the big city where you used to work, perhaps your state of mind will change. If you can't change your environment, then you have to adapt to it and thereby change your state of mind. To adapt to your environment, you have to start by changing your perception. If you look at things from a different perspective, your thoughts will be different, and so will your behavior.

I really don't think you're suffering from social phobia. I think that after seven years of staying at home to raise your children, you've become a little detached from society, which has made it a bit harder for you to adapt. I know it can be really stressful! For example, you might be wondering if you can still find a job.

"Will I do a bad job if I find it?" etc.

It's totally normal to have these self-doubting voices. We all do! Even people who have always worked will experience self-doubt when faced with work pressure. And let's not forget, you haven't worked for seven years.

It can be really tough when a person's lifestyle becomes a habit. It's natural to feel a bit scared about making changes, but you've got this!

It's okay to have conflicting voices in your head. We all do! It's part of being human. So, try to be kind to yourself. Give your inner critic a hug. Tell your negative worries to take a hike. Instead, focus on the happy scenes from your previous work and think about your previous abilities. Remember all those past successes? They're your wealth and your motivation to go back to work!

I know it can be tough, but try to imagine this: if you can work well in a big city, you can work in a small county town. It's not about your ability, but there are some psychological obstacles to overcome. You've got this!

As the questioner said, "The county is so small, and I always feel like I'm being watched by my family, relatives, and former classmates no matter what I do." It's true that in a small county, people will know what you do. Perhaps you are worried about being watched because the work you want to do is not approved of or looked down upon by the people around you.

So, how you view the work you want to do is really up to you. If you think it's okay to support yourself through your own hard work, you'll be able to overcome your inferiority complex and go out to work. If you feel ashamed of your work, then you may never be able to go out to work.

As we mentioned earlier, it's important to change our perception. Once we do that, we'll find it much easier to relax and not get tangled up inside.

Let's chat about why you can communicate with people online but not offline. I think it's also because you pay too much attention to your words and actions. When you talk to strangers online, because you don't know each other well and have no connection, no matter what you say, it won't affect your life, so you can say whatever you want.

In real life, we're chatting away, and others are listening. What will they think? We've all been there!

We worry that what we say may be inappropriate, that it may cause others to feel offended or to lash out or to form a bad opinion of us, and so on. It's totally normal to care about what other people think! But when you care too much, you might develop a sense of self-protection in your heart, and you may unconsciously start to distance yourself from people you are already familiar with.

It's true! We're all super busy, and it's okay if you feel like you're the only one who cares about yourself. When you're getting along with the people around you, you can relax a bit and not be so nervous.

Listen to what other people are saying and have the courage to look them in the eye. You've got this! Your social phobia will slowly change.

It's totally normal to feel like you can't get too close to people. It might be related to your family of origin or personal experiences. There are boundaries and psychological distances in interpersonal interactions, and it's okay if you don't master this right away. Just do what feels right to you, and don't be too hard on yourself.

When you're more forgiving with yourself, you'll find that many problems don't have to be problems at all!

I just wanted to say that the above is for reference only.

I really hope these tips help! Warm regards!

You have to accept that the present is good! You have to be grateful for the encounter.

Your description evokes a sense of anxiety and fear within me. I'm here to support you.

Let's discuss this together.

1. I allow myself to feel this way.

I have stayed at home to take care of my child for the past five years, so I understand your feelings. Next year, my child will be old enough for kindergarten, and I am confident that I will be able to find a job and balance work and life. I have experienced anxiety, fear, and fear, but I am ready to face them.

After years of staying at home full-time, I'm disconnected from society. The work situation was distant from us from the beginning, and our circle is getting smaller.

It's not easy to take that step and face society and work again. All kinds of thoughts and ideas make you want to stay home.

You often have to shoulder life on your own and slowly digest your own pain and worries. Over time, you have less and less in common with other people. You see that other people have jobs and different people to communicate with, and you say less and less of what's on your mind. You get used to staying at home alone, chatting with a few regular friends online, and your circle of friends gets smaller and smaller.

Is that so?

Hug me. This is normal. You will adapt to this change in time.

You recall that when you first quit your job and returned home, you struggled to adapt. It took time to adjust to the busyness of taking care of the children at home, the monotony, and the sense of worthlessness. You need to accept that you cannot do it for the time being and that you need time to adapt. Start by going out of the house to go shopping and see other people's work and lives.

2. Discover your sense of worth.

You can find out how much ability you still have and what kind of work you can find. First, look for jobs online and communicate with the employers. Open up to others slowly and integrate into society.

Get involved in local volunteer activities. Appreciate yourself, value your contributions, and feel needed. You'll see that you've always been a part of this community, a part of the social cycle.

You are valuable, capable, and able to help others.

If you can't go out for now, you can participate in online public welfare activities like answering questions in the Life Q&A Hall on this platform. This will help you gain a sense of worth and acceptance, integrate into society, and see that everyone has problems, just like you.

You will find that what you have is temporary, and that it is something that we all have.

3. Boost self-confidence

You said, "Because the county is so small, I always feel like I'm being watched by my family, relatives, and former classmates no matter what I do." Think about it this way: Do you constantly keep an eye on a certain person's life and work? I don't think you would keep an eye on your family members either.

You have your own things to arrange and complete every day, so you pay more attention to yourself than to others. Everyone's work life is busy, so it's not realistic to expect special attention from others.

You think this way because you want to be noticed by others. You feel your life has always been closed off, and you want to be valued, noticed, recognized, appreciated, and respected.

It's perfectly normal to have these needs and want to be noticed. The solution is simple: start paying attention to yourself. Pay attention to your feelings and body signals. Learn to satisfy yourself, appreciate yourself, and recognize yourself.

Every day, record three or more of your strengths and three things you are grateful for. This will boost your inner confidence and happiness. Once your inner energy has been enhanced, you will be more relaxed and confident when you go out into society.

You are full of inner strength. You can accept yourself and allow yourself to have any emotions or states.

At the same time, identify the thoughts in your head that are preventing you from taking that step. Write them down. You will realize that many of your concerns are just imagined by your mind and are not real. If they were to happen, think about solutions during the process of writing. This will help you become more grounded little by little.

You don't have to go out and work if you don't want to. If you're struggling to interact with others, focus on improving your abilities and inner self. Search online for jobs you're interested in and learn what other skills you'll need. While developing your external abilities, focus on your inner needs, improve your inner abilities, and gain the confidence you need to go out.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to you, and I wish you the best!

Greetings,

The subject does not report experiencing the symptoms of social anxiety. Social anxiety is characterized by feelings of nervousness in social situations, a desire to fit in and be accepted, and difficulty expressing oneself. It is often accompanied by concerns about one's abilities, perceived lack of social approval, and feelings of tension and anxiety.

Your state may be more accurately described as a consciously chosen distance. You do not crave proximity to the crowd, and you enjoy engaging in conversation with unfamiliar individuals even more. This is because engaging in conversation with unfamiliar individuals does not create the same potential for closer proximity as would occur in other circumstances.

In the absence of proximate "threats" or "pressure," individuals are better able to express themselves and interact with others in a more straightforward manner.

The feeling of being watched is related to the desire to maintain a certain distance from others. If one is afraid of being watched, one will maintain this distance; otherwise, one will be seen and monitored.

The fear of being watched may be indicative of a deeper-seated fear of being seen for who one truly is.

Your assertion that you feel observed evokes a psychological hypothesis: it is possible that you are concealing a facet of your identity and are reluctant for it to be revealed. The apprehension of being observed gives rise to the sensation of being watched.

The situation may be analogous to that of a person concealing a valuable object, fearful of being followed when they venture outside and potentially having that object taken from them.

This hidden aspect of the self may manifest as aggression or anger towards others, representing one of the numerous authentic voices within. The individual may have subconsciously repressed this aspect, leading to a reluctance to express genuine thoughts.

It is possible that you perceive this aspect of your personality as malevolent, hostile, unacceptable, and potentially damaging to relationships if expressed. Alternatively, you may view it as shameful or otherwise undesirable.

The act of repression requires a significant expenditure of energy. In the event of excessive proximity to another individual, the repressed aspect may manifest or erupt in an uncontrolled manner, potentially causing distress or apprehension in the other person.

Therefore, it is necessary to maintain a certain distance and conceal oneself effectively in order to evade observation.

The act of concealing and suppressing aspects of one's identity can give rise to considerable psychological distress. It can be likened to the burden of concealing a deeply troubling secret, which, in time, may become increasingly oppressive.

It is imperative to make the hidden visible.

The most effective method for overcoming the sensation of being observed is to openly reveal the concealed aspects of one's identity. By displaying one's possessions and disclosing one's secrets, an individual can eliminate the fear of being followed or discovered.

This individual who is aware of themselves is, in fact, the subject in question. It is this person who looks inward, experiences their own emotions, and identifies the types of sensations and sounds that have been repressed.

It would be beneficial to ascertain one's genuine sentiments regarding numerous individuals and matters. It is important to determine whether one harbors persistent feelings of animosity and rejection towards specific individuals.

Listen to and observe that aspect of yourself that is repressed and powerful, and express the emotions that you have kept firmly locked inside. Allow this part of yourself to be resolved and seen.

In this manner, one can achieve liberation, relinquishing the burden of secrecy and the constraints imposed by the mind. Furthermore, this process facilitates the development of genuine and authentic communication, enabling individuals to interact with others in a more genuine and authentic manner.

It is my hope that this will prove beneficial. I am Xu Yanlian, a therapist available for discussion.

Sincerely,