I was an introvert as a child, and even in my 30s, I'm still very clumsy. Could it be depression?

Hello, landlord. I hope my answer helps.

Don't label yourself lightly. This is not depression, but self-doubt, fear of socializing, and lack of confidence. Adjust your perception of yourself, increase your inner strength, and your state will improve.

First, understand your personality.

Don't deny yourself because being introverted or extroverted is innate. There is no good or bad in being introverted or extroverted. Extroverts have the advantage of being extroverted, and introverts have the benefits of being introverted.

Society favors extroverts, but there's no such thing as a good or bad personality. Find your strengths and use them.

Be yourself. Only then can you achieve harmony in body and mind. Extroverts recharge through socializing, while introverts deplete their energy. We need solitude to recharge. Therefore, you need to replenish what you have depleted to achieve balance.

Second, be selective about who you socialize with.

Engage in selective socializing.

Everyone needs to socialize. Socializing gives us a sense of belonging and security. Be selective about who you socialize with. Don't socialize with people who negate and undermine you. Socialize with people who encourage and support you.

If socializing makes you stressed, don't do it too much. Take care of yourself.

Avoid the "spotlight effect."

The "spotlight effect" is when you make a problem seem worse than it is. For example, you go to a party, dressed neatly and looking refreshed, but the breeze messed up your hair.

You're about to open the door, but you're scared because you think your clothes and hair look bad. It seems like everyone is looking at you and whispering about your "unlucky appearance."

You feel nervous even though you shouldn't. This is called the spotlight effect.

We think our actions, appearance, and emotions matter more than they do.

You get nervous when talking to other people because you think they're paying special attention to you.

The truth is, we're not that important. People won't pay much attention to us. So relax, be yourself, and be true to yourself.

Be true to yourself. The more you can be true to yourself, the more you can gain ease and comfort. People who like you will like you, accept you, and support you no matter what you are like. People who don't like you may still reject you and not support you no matter how you behave. We can't win everyone's approval, but we can be the person we like in ourselves.

Third, about feeling inferior and having self-confidence.

Let's look at why we feel inferior.

From age 3 to 14, we learn about ourselves based on how others see us. If we are constantly told we are ugly or have a bad personality, we will doubt ourselves when we grow up.

We can't blame our parents or teachers because we all have limitations. They formed their standards through their own experiences. So, they used these standards to measure and educate you. They may think pointing out your shortcomings is beneficial, but it will make you form a self-denying mindset.

The past is gone. We cannot change it, but we can adjust our attitude. When you know it is not your fault and your parents did their best, accept it. Accept that our parents are just the way they are. We cannot change them, but we can change ourselves.

How can you change yourself?

The first step is to accept yourself. Accept your character and imperfections. See your shortcomings and strengths.

The first step to becoming confident is to accept yourself.

Accepting yourself is hard, but you have to keep trying. When you're down on yourself, keep trying to accept yourself. You have strengths and value, and you can use them to live a good life.

When you accept yourself, you can live with your shortcomings.

Many people are imperfect but can live well with their shortcomings. Accept your imperfections and live a life of ease.

The second step is to recognize your strengths and give yourself positive thoughts.

If we support ourselves, we will become more confident.

If we lack something, we look for it outside. But what's outside is unstable and beyond our control. We can only control ourselves.

If we need external recognition, it shows we don't approve of ourselves. We need to practice approving of and encouraging ourselves. When we do, we won't care so much about other people's approval.

When you accept and recognize yourself, others will also recognize and believe in you.

We are the source of everything. Change yourself and change the world.

We also need to build self-confidence and feel secure. We should work to improve our abilities and knowledge.

Confidence comes from hard work. When we become someone we approve of, we become more confident and feel more secure.

Set yourself goals and work towards them one step at a time. This will improve your abilities, knowledge and experience. You will feel more secure, have more control over your life and become more confident.

The right goals are moderate. If the goal is too small, you won't feel challenged. If it's too big, you'll feel too much resistance. Moderate goals are the best. When we work hard to achieve them, we'll feel accomplished and confident.

If you walk 4,000 steps a day, aim for 4,500-5,000. Don't go below 4,000 or above 10,000.

When you set goals that suit you, take action. Action helps you overcome difficulties and experience your value.

Keep encouraging yourself. Believe you can do it.

Also, don't worry about what others say. You can't control how they think or act. It's their problem. Just do your own thing, control your own actions and thoughts, and keep growing. You'll become more confident and better.

Best wishes!

Hello, host.

I think so. I'm here, right?

Can I give you a hug?

It's great to believe that everyone in this world is special and deserves love, and that everyone has the potential to meet someone who likes them.

Actually, you have a pretty good grasp on things. You said that my main state right now is a willingness to feel inferior, which is the core reason for your unhappiness.

Let's take a look at this together. First, you need to know that feeling inferior has its positive aspects. Adler wrote a book called Inferiority and Transcendence. He had polio as a child, and his brother was healthy. He envied his brother for a long time, but after a few years, his brother became an alcoholic, divorced, and a gambler. His life was full of darkness, while he became a great psychologist. He discovered a truth from this: feeling inferior allows us to find the gap with others, and feeling inferior gives us a direction to work towards. Feeling inferior means transcending. So feeling inferior is not a bad thing.

But self-blame is a mistake. It's a poison that will lead you into the quagmire of self-denial, from which you can never escape. Who hasn't done something wrong these days? Even if you do everything right, others will still judge you as being wrong. Is other people's judgment really that important?

You've got to find yourself. When you do, you'll realize you have your own ideas and interests. You won't care too much about other people's opinions. You won't feel wrong every step of the way and apologize to others. You won't do any of these things because you're strong enough already. You don't need to compromise with others to gain power and support.

Forgive me for saying so, but the support he gets from others will soon be gone. The true strength within himself is like a fire, like starlight, always there, always powerful.

I love you, the world, and I'm here for you.