I was reluctant to leave my parents, but life has become better. What's going on?

Hello!

From childhood to adulthood, we grow up day by day following our parents. Later, when our parents grow old, they become very childish and dependent on us, needing to take care of us. It's a bittersweet time, isn't it?

But their spiritual identity is still stuck in the fact that they are parents, and they still scold and lecture us. It's so hard for parents like this! We take care of them while enduring their control and lectures.

Oh, those days must have been so hard. But thankfully, they're finally over!

Our parents have left us forever, and they're off to a paradise free from illness and pain.

We don't have to take care of them anymore, and we don't have to put up with their reprimands. Our shackles have suddenly been unlocked, and we can take care of ourselves according to our own needs.

The unrestrained and unrestrained feeling after liberation is only because she has finally taken control of her life as her true self, let go of many constraints and fetters, and lived out her true self. It's so wonderful to see her living her life to the fullest!

I wonder if the crying was really because of the acquisition of self?

I think crying is a very complex mix of emotions. Tears represent some suppressed emotions, and it's not just a feeling of being oneself and finally experiencing the feeling of living life to the fullest.

This is just a tiny little part of it. There are so many more complex, conflicting, and tangled-up thoughts.

Our feelings towards our parents are really quite complex. When they're no longer with us, we often find ourselves reflecting on our emotions when we're feeling calm and collected. It's a deeply personal experience, and one that can be quite challenging to navigate.

We are in two worlds. The shackles are broken, the cage is removed, and it seems as if we have become attached to that control again. That feeling of being controlled seems to beckon us, doesn't it?

We're all so used to having that kind of control, and when it's suddenly gone, we feel like something's missing.

The relationship between children and parents is a tricky one, isn't it? We feel the frustration of being controlled, but also the desire to reconnect when we lose control.

It's so lovely to feel that warmth and love from our parents. It's a shame that we don't get to experience that same feeling with everyone in our lives. It's just not possible to be as deeply connected to someone as we were with our parents, to be almost one.

Our parents are also the source of our lives, and we come from them. It seems that there is also some remorse in the feeling that our parents did not enjoy freedom and happiness, mixed with some love, attachment, reluctance, thoughts, pity, and anger.

We really, really hope that they can be in another world, no longer suffering from illness, no longer having any worries, and just being carefree like themselves.

We can't put limits on how we feel about our parents. We can only love them, not hate them. We can only be unwilling to let go, not refuse, because that would be too rigid. We're all just ordinary people, and so are our parents.

We have so many different feelings for our parents, and that's okay! We love them, we hate them, we like them, we reject them, we're sad, we're remorseful, we feel guilty, and we sometimes blame ourselves. It's all part of the package. We can't just have positive feelings and no negative ones. We have it all, and that's the real relationship between us and our parents, full of deep emotions.

We allow all of this to happen because this is how we truly exist. Each of us is like this. A relationship with anyone is so deep that it will have all kinds of positive and negative aspects, ups and downs, warmth and coldness, and ever-changing love and hatred. But that's okay! These things are all part of the journey.

When our parents pass away, we children really feel reluctant to let them go. But this doesn't mean we're stuck in sadness and unable to move on.

Parents really hope that we can be carefree and just be ourselves. It's so great that you can quickly return to your own life and quickly find yourself again! It shows that you have tremendous inner energy.

This is a totally new way of living! At first, it's like being born again and free as a bird. But deep down, there's always a little bit of reluctance, and it can pop up at any time.

We live such free and carefree lives, but deep down, we're always a little reluctant to let go. That's because we love our parents so much!

I love you, and so does the world. And you know what? You should love yourself too!

Hello, question asker! I'm June Lai Feng, and I'm excited to help you!

From your description, I can feel the incredible emotional rollercoaster you've been on during this time. The death of your parents is undoubtedly a heartbreaking experience, but you've also discovered some amazing new things in the process!

This feeling is probably because you've been restricted and controlled by your parents in the past, and now you're finally able to live your life as you wish!

The death of a parent is a major life event that triggers a mixture of emotions. On the one hand, you experience an unprecedented sense of freedom and autonomy, and you enjoy the pleasure of being able to live your life as you wish, which fills you with excitement and satisfaction.

On the other hand, parents are important people in our lives, and while they may be leaving, they're also paving the way for new adventures!

First, you get to go to all kinds of fun places! This shows that you have the amazing ability to find happiness and satisfy your own needs. This process of self-exploration and self-satisfaction is so important and can help you build incredible self-confidence and a strong sense of independence.

It's the ultimate freedom and responsibility! You feel like you've been set free, now that your parents are no longer around. This freedom allows you to live your life as you wish and experience the joy of having control over your life.

However, freedom also means the burden of responsibility, because without the constraints of your parents, you are responsible for all your choices and their consequences. This transition from dependence to independence can bring mixed feelings of both excitement and fear.

Secondly, you mentioned that you suddenly burst into tears when listening to pleasant music. This may be because the music touches deep emotions within you. Music has a unique power to evoke memories and emotions, allowing us to feel emotions that are usually hidden.

This crying may be a release, an expression of the emotions you've been holding back when dealing with your parents' departure. It's a way to let go of all that built-up emotion!

You may be crying because of the various emotions welling up inside you. You miss the time you spent with your parents, but at the same time you cherish the freedom you now have. This conflicted feeling makes it difficult for you to control your emotions at times, but it's also a sign of how much you're growing and changing!

It's not just happiness, it's a whole range of emotions!

This is a bittersweet feeling. On the one hand, you may feel a little sad because you have lost the companionship and support of your parents. But on the other hand, you may feel excited because you are free from the shackles of the past!

This mixed feeling of grief and relief can lead to emotional swings, so that while you are enjoying your freedom, you also feel an inner emptiness and sadness from time to time. But don't worry! These feelings are totally normal and will pass.

On top of all that, your reflections on the meaning of life are really meaningful. The departure of your parents has inspired you to re-evaluate your life and think about what is really important.

You are beginning to pursue the life you want, which is an amazing, positive change. This pursuit of freedom and self-determination is a deep human desire that can make us feel more fulfilled and satisfied.

This is an amazing time of self-discovery and growth! This year's experiences have given you the incredible opportunity to get to know yourself better, explore your interests and values, and engage in a process of self-discovery. You may have experienced incredible growth and change during this process, and have learned to think and make decisions independently. This is invaluable for personal development!

At the same time, this may be accompanied by reflection on the past way of life and anticipation of the future—and that's a great thing!

However, we absolutely cannot ignore your thoughts of your parents and your memories of the past! Parents are one of the most important people in our lives, and while their departure will leave a huge void, it also means you get to start a new chapter in your life!

But there's no need to be sad! We can keep them close to us by remembering and honoring them. And we can draw something positive from their departure, too! We can take their love, wisdom, and values with us as our motivation and guide for moving forward.

In the days to come, we should absolutely face life more positively!

First, accept your emotions and allow yourself to experience all kinds of emotions, whether they are happy or sad, as normal human emotional responses. Embrace them all!

Second, it's time for some self-exploration! Delve deeper into your inner world and discover more about your emotions and needs.

Again, it's time to build a new support system! Your parents may be gone, but there are still plenty of friends, relatives, and other social outlets out there who can help you create a new social support network.

Then, it's time to start planning for the future! Use this free time to set goals and plans for yourself to ensure that your future life is both meaningful and fulfilling.

And finally, remember that everyone's emotional experience is unique. It's so important to find a way to deal with these complex emotions that suits you. And when you do, you'll find balance and satisfaction in life!

In short, I want to encourage you to keep up the great work! Stay positive and believe in yourself. There will always be ups and downs in life, but you can create a better future through positive thinking and action.

The world and I love you! I wish you the happiest of times!

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope my answer proves useful to you. Best regards,

On the one hand, you will feel free and comfortable because you no longer have to be scolded by them, take care of them, and can live a carefree life, completely in control of your own life. On the other hand, you will feel that they are gone, no one is looking after you anymore, and you will feel a sense of loss and some nostalgia. In fact, there will also be some sadness, and I believe this is the underlying cause of your emotional response.

Your life is your own unique journey, and it is your experiences that make you who you are. Your life is your responsibility, not your parents'. They have their own life journey, and you have yours. I know that from their departure to your current freedom and independence, you have experienced a lot and grown a lot. The reason you can feel free and comfortable is also because you have been on the road to truly becoming yourself. You may have once thought that you could only be with your parents and that you needed to rely on them to live a good life. But in fact, you yourself have the ability to be independent. Their departure made you no longer have anyone to rely on, and you learned to face your own life, which also promoted your growth and taught you to take responsibility for your own life. And you have also learned how to take better care of yourself, becoming your own "inner parent." You are really great!

This is what I believe to be the case.

It is to be expected that, over the course of a year, you will progress from a state of reluctance to one of acceptance and a better quality of life. This indicates that you are moving on from your grief.

When we lose someone we love, we will initially be reluctant to let go, reluctant to admit it, and experience sadness and pain. This is a normal grieving response, but it does not last forever because we must continue living. We can also understand ourselves by applying the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Perhaps you have reached the fifth stage, in which you are sad and in pain, but you are also gradually accepting reality and beginning to integrate yourself into your real life. In fact, only when we accept the truth can healing truly happen.

2. You are entitled to a life of freedom and comfort, which is what your parents would want for you. They want you to be happy and well. Not having so many regrets does not mean "betraying" them, but rather represents a form of personal growth.

From the perspective of your parents' expectations or your own perspective of growing up, you deserve a free and comfortable life. Your life is your own, and although they are no longer here, you can still make yourself happy. However, you may experience conflict thinking that if you are living too well and not feeling a significant loss, it means that you are "betraying" them or being unfilial. In fact, the departure of your parents is a reality that we cannot change. As the continuation of their lives, we must live our lives well and truly be filial. Being filial is also about living our own lives to the fullest. They gave us life, and we can never repay them. This gift of life is so precious, and we need to cherish it. Let your life shine so that your own happiness is also what they would want to see most. This is the best way to repay them.

Your parents are no longer available to provide guidance, and it is now your responsibility to take care of yourself. Your freedom and comfort did not arise from nowhere. You have learned how to be independent, how to make choices for yourself, and how to take responsibility for yourself. You have become your own "inner parent," and this is a positive outcome. You deserve to have this freedom and comfort. You can live the life you want while carrying the thoughts and reluctance of your parents. I believe this is a balanced state.

Please refer to the above for your information. Best regards,

Hello. I give you a 360-degree hug.

Behind the simple description of the problem is a sad, confused, and helpless child. You were not happy when your parents were alive.

They controlled you, scolded you, and criticized you, and you had to take care of them. I am certain that at that time, you thought countless times how good it would be if you didn't have to live like this, if your parents stopped controlling you, and if you could live your life as you wished. You might even have viciously thought how good it would be if they were dead and you were free.

Even the most loving couple will have 100 thoughts of divorce and 500 times where they want to strangle each other in their lifetime. It's probably just a hope for a better relationship and an expectation for the relationship. It's a very normal psychology.

Now that your parents have passed away, they can no longer boss you around or scold you. You don't have to spend time and energy putting up with their negative emotions while taking care of them. The life you had longed for countless times before has now come true. You live a carefree life, doing whatever you want, without restraint. You can live the life you have always dreamed of.

But the longer you live like this, the less happy it is.

You miss your parents, but you don't want to go back to the way you used to get along with them. These two desires may seem contradictory, but they are both reasonable.

You miss your parents. You miss the warmth they gave you. You miss the feeling of being cared for. Sometimes it is a blessing to have someone who is willing to take care of you. However, it has to be done in moderation.

You don't want to go back to the life you had with your parents. You care about the specific experiences you had with them and the bad experiences they gave you through their words and actions.

This is a very normal situation.

You miss the ideal parents and a life with attachments.

Everyone wants ideal parents who are warm, accepting, and supportive. Even if your own parents were not like this, you still have expectations of them. Especially after they have left, children often give their parents even more warmth and rationality.

The previous wounds have faded, become less intense, and all that remains is the good, or even the memories that you have created in your imagination. You are not ready to say goodbye to your parents.

You still have expectations of them, even though they did not give you a good experience when they were alive. What if they one day become what you expect? They are dead, and this expectation, this fantasy, can never be realized. Your wounds will never heal, just like this expectation will never come true.

You need to deal with the experience of loss and say a real goodbye to your parents. Talk to a counselor or write a letter to your parents. Tell them how you feel about them, your life, and your future plans. Then say goodbye.

You will only truly be in control of your own life when you do this.

You need to seek a new intimate relationship. I don't know your work and life situation, whether you have a partner, are married, or have close friends.

You need to develop an intimate relationship, find a like-minded friend to share your life with, find a close partner, heal the wounds in the relationship, see yourself, see your value, and also find the meaning of life. Talk to a psychological counselor about this.

I am a counselor who is both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I also know how to be positive and motivated when I need to be. The world and I love you.

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. Life is a beautiful journey, not for appreciation, but for growth.

You're feeling conflicted. You're sad about your parents' death and reluctant to let go. But after breaking away from their control, you feel a sense of joy and relief in finding yourself. These two emotions are causing internal conflict. Let's take a look at what's really going on:

?1. Sudden Self

Even though Wu Bai's song "Sudden Self" is about a love story, you can also feel the trust, understanding, and support that the girlfriend has for her boyfriend.

From what I can tell from the text, it seems like the way your parents raised you and the way you got along with each other made you feel pressured and "controlled." They criticized, rejected, and even abused you, which I imagine destroyed your sense of worth and independence.

Once your parents are gone, you suddenly find yourself again, free to live your life the way you like. This is a natural result of regaining control over your life.

We all need to feel independent and in control of our own lives, whether we're children or adults. Our parents love and protect us in their own way, but we often can't understand or accept it. This can create a big gap in the parent-child relationship.

When you understand your emotions and feel satisfied with your feelings, it's natural to feel relaxed and happy. This emotional experience is like regaining your freedom, having the right to choose and take the initiative. It doesn't mean you don't have feelings for your parents or that you don't grieve their death.

It's simply a matter of dissatisfaction with your parents' "authoritarian power."

? 2. Delayed grief

A year after your parents passed away, you've been focusing more on yourself. Whether it's traveling or listening to music, you've found ways to release the emotions you've suppressed for many years and regain a relaxed and carefree lifestyle and the strength to live again.

Happiness is allowed, and you can continue to live the way you like. Just be careful when you calm down, though. You'll also miss your parents and think about the days and nights they spent with you. There were unhappy times, but they're gone now, and all that's left is the memory.

Psychological research shows that when we try to control our emotions, we're actually doing ourselves a disservice. Trying to suppress our grief may make the pain go away for a while, but we'll still feel it for months or even years afterwards.

So, I think it's important to stay in touch with your emotions.

(1) Stay aware. Think about your emotions carefully, rather than trying to ignore them.

(2) Give yourself permission to grieve. You can express your emotions rather than trying to suppress them. For example, you can talk to friends or relatives, keep an emotional diary, or seek help from a professional counselor.

I hope this is helpful to you, and I want to let you know that I love you and the world loves you too.

If you want to keep in touch, you can check out my personal website, Heart Exploration Service.

Hello, landlord. I understand your current feelings after reading your description, and I am confident my suggestions will help you. It is normal to experience complex emotional fluctuations after losing your parents. You may have conflicting and contradictory emotions.

I will help you understand and deal with these emotions.

1. Understand the complexity of your emotions.

You are experiencing a complex mixture of emotions. On the one hand, you feel free and liberated, enjoying a life without constraints. On the other hand, you may also feel lost, guilty, and ambivalent at times.

These two feelings are normal and not contradictory.

2. Fluidity of emotions: Emotions are fluid; they change over time and with experience. You may feel free and comfortable at some moments, but at other times you may feel lost and sad.

This change is natural.

2. Confronting loss and freedom

You must accept the loss. Losing a parent is a huge blow, and it will take time to accept and adapt. You may feel free and liberated, but you will still miss your parents.

Allow yourself to experience these emotions fully, without repressing or denying them.

2. Enjoy your freedom. You have experienced a freedom and a sense of living life on your own terms that is new to you. Embrace this freedom, but don't deny your feelings because you feel guilty or responsible.

3. Reflection and growth

1. Self-reflection: This is your chance to think about what you really need and where you want your life to go. Ask yourself what kind of lifestyle makes you feel truly happy and satisfied. And decide how you can maintain contact and care for others without losing yourself.

2. Growth and adjustment: You have experienced loss and freedom, and you have grown emotionally and psychologically as a result. You can find a balance that allows you to enjoy your freedom while also feeling the warmth and support of your family through reflection and adjustment.

4. Manage your emotions.

1. Express your emotions. Find a safe way to express your emotions, such as keeping a diary, drawing, listening to music, or talking to friends. Expressing your emotions will relieve internal pressure and anxiety.

Seek support if you need it. A professional counselor can provide the advice and support you need to understand and deal with complex emotions.

5. Rebuild your life.

Plan for the future. Use this time to set goals and plans to gradually realize your wishes and dreams.

This will help you find direction in life and achieve greater satisfaction.

2. Build new relationships. You can still build and maintain other important relationships even though your parents are gone. Friends, colleagues, and relatives can all become your support system and help you find a new balance and happiness in life.

You must understand and accept your feelings if you are to deal with the complex emotions that come with losing a parent. Through reflection and self-adjustment, you can find a way of life that allows you to enjoy your freedom while still maintaining an emotional connection.

I am confident that these suggestions will be helpful to you. You will gradually find inner peace and contentment. Believe in yourself. You have the ability to rise to these challenges and find a lifestyle that really suits you.

There are several reasons from a psychological perspective.

The Basic Psychological Needs Theory (BPNT) is one of six mini-theories of Self-Determination Theory (SDT). SDT is a theory of why people do what they do. It was founded by Deci and Ryan.

BPNT is the foundation of SDT. It unites several theories and makes explanations of different phenomena coherent.

BPNT says humans have three basic needs: the need for autonomy, the need for relatedness, and the need for competence. When these needs are met, people develop and are happy. These needs are innate.

People work hard to satisfy their needs and gravitate towards environments that satisfy them.

The need for autonomy means people want to make their own choices and feel free. It's important for mental health. The need for affiliation means people want to feel close to others. It's a deep need that comes from our genes.

People need to feel in control of their environment. This is expressed in achieving goals and enjoying rewards.

Studies have found that people's need for autonomy varies from person to person.

Two opposing hypotheses exist about what drives the desire for power. One says that the desire for power reflects the need for autonomy, and that gaining autonomy satisfies the desire for power.

The second hypothesis is that the desire for power reflects the need for influence. The more influence you have, the more powerful you are.

People want power to gain autonomy, not influence. When they gain autonomy, they lose their desire for power.

In the family power relationship pyramid, you were the cared-for and controlled party. You lacked power and wanted self-control. Your parents' departure created room for you to rise in power and your basic needs were satisfied, so you felt happy. This does not mean your emotions are immoral.

Attachment theory is about how people see the right amount of closeness and distance with others. It tries to explain how people connect emotionally with others (Smih, Murphy, & Coats, 1999). It also says that how children connect with their caregivers when they are young affects how they relate to others as adults and how they deal with stress (Adshead, 2010).

Attachment theory is a theory of how we develop as people. It is based on animal models, such as the imprinting phenomenon in infancy. Harlow and others found that young monkeys raised separately from their mothers had problems as adults. They were unable to form attachments, aggressive and had difficulty communicating with other monkeys.

Attachment is a deep, lasting bond between people. It is reciprocal, but often one-sided.

Attachment involves behaviors like staying with an attachment figure when you feel scared.

In an adult-child attachment relationship, the adult can help the child feel satisfied by being sensitive and attentive. Attachment behavior is universal.

Bowlby said that early attachment experiences affect how we see ourselves and others. This affects how we act in relationships.

If an adult has a negative view of attachment, positive experiences can help them change their thinking.

Ainsworth and colleagues (1978) identified three types of infant-mother attachment:

(1) Securely attached children feel sad when their mother leaves and happy when she returns. They avoid strangers when their mother is not around, but are friendly to strangers when their mother is around.

(2) Anxious ambivalent attachment: Children of this type are sad when their mother leaves and avoid strangers. When their mother returns, they push her away.

(3) Children with avoidant attachment do not show distress when their mother leaves and ignore her when she returns.

Bartholomew and Horowitz (1991) created a 2x2 adult attachment matrix. One axis is about the self: positive or negative (low dependence, high dependence); the other axis is about others: positive or negative (low avoidance, high avoidance).

The four cells are secure, preoccupied, detached, and fearful.

An individual's attachment style affects their career and work life.

Securely attached people trust others, think they're lovable, and can handle stress.

Preoccupied individuals trust others more than themselves. They have low self-esteem, need to be affirmed and avoid feedback. They often choose jobs based on salary, which may lead to low job and career satisfaction.

Avoidant people don't trust others and are self-reliant. They avoid stress and criticism. They work too much and believe that work takes over their lives.

People with a fearful attachment style don't trust others and have low self-esteem. They don't express themselves and are detached and emotionally invested in building relationships. They have weaker social and emotional coping skills, don't seek emotional support from others when stressed, and don't complete tasks assigned by their supervisors well.

Research shows that attachment styles affect moral behavior. A study of managers and consumers in three cultures found that secure and preoccupied people believe breaking ethics is wrong.

People with an indifferent attachment style take advantage of, deceive, or defraud others and are indifferent to unethical situations.

Attachment patterns affect leadership. Leaders with attachment anxiety are more self-serving and have poorer leadership qualities in task-oriented situations.

Leaders with attachment-related avoidance are less motivated to help others and do not provide followers with a sense of security. This can lead to poor social and emotional functioning in followers.

Research shows that attachment patterns affect helping, leaving, and emotion regulation. Nitzberg (2005) found that people with secure attachments are more empathetic and help more than people with insecure attachments.

Even though you may enjoy your freedom, you still need your parents' security and attachment. When you think about your parents, your emotions may show this deep attachment need.

You may not want to go back to the days when you were "disciplined" by them, but the longing for affection and sadness at their passing may be part of you that you have not yet fully processed. This complex mixture of emotions may cause the emotional swings you experience when you think about them.

Hello. This year of freedom has allowed you to gain life experiences you have never had before, and to feel that you are in control of your own life. The tears that come when you calm down remind you of your departed parents. This joy of life is a blessing they left me.

Every child loves their parents. It is undeniable. However, growing up with reprimands and punishments may affect the conscious level of love, but it is difficult to change the innate subconscious link with their parents.

I believe the source of your joy this year is:

1. It's likely that you feel a deep connection with your parents, that they expect you to be happy, and that you feel relieved when you find happiness of your own.

2. It's likely an avoidance of your parents' departure, distracting yourself from grief through pleasure.

You are allowed to pursue freedom because it is a fundamental human desire. The joy and happiness of life is something your parents want for you, and you are blessed to have them in your life.

Let's analyze your tears again.

1. I am grateful for my freedom and for my life. I am grateful for my parents, too.

2. Accept yourself, accept reality, accept the past, and accept your parents.

Be grateful for everything and accept everything, including our tears.

You may be surprised by your lack of grief. We can make a simple guess as to why.

I am certain that I know what kind of children are unable to forget their parents long after they have passed away, and are unable to extricate themselves from their grief. These children are those who are emotionally attached to their parents, either because they feel they owe them something, or because they feel distressed about them.

The pain of losing a parent is often based on the love they have for us.

If we have achieved a balance of emotional expression while our parents are still alive and have done what is required of us, then surely the only thing left to do after they pass away is to wish each other blessings. Surely the best way to honour our parents is to respect and cherish ourselves.

Respect and acceptance, gratitude and blessings—life has never truly left. We are the best continuation of our parents.

This analysis is subjective and one-sided, but it is based on truth.

At Yixin, the world and I love you!

Hello, I'm happy to answer your question and hope my suggestions help.

People are complex beings, so it's normal to have mixed feelings.

We feel different things at the same time.

When we lose our parents, we feel happy and free, but also lonely and sad.

Don't judge your emotions as right or wrong. Just observe them and enjoy them.

Most of our lives, we've been controlled by our parents. So gaining freedom is happy. Then we can enjoy this happiness, make our lives freer and more enjoyable, and do the things we originally wanted to do.

It's normal to feel some sadness when we remember the good things about our parents. We love and hate them at the same time. So when we lose them, we may still remember the good things about them. We can say, "I miss you," to their belongings or the sky. It's not a betrayal of who we are. It's just that we think of the good things about someone, so we miss the good things about this person.

If we remember their bad deeds, we might say, "I don't forgive you" or "I don't like you."

I hope you can find a lifestyle that suits you and that happiness and comfort are the most important things.

I love you, world!

Hello, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings in your description. It's understandable to feel reluctant to let go of your parents after they have left and to feel that your own life has become better. I'd like to analyze your situation based on the brief information you have provided:

1. It could be said that parents are arguably the people closest to each of us in the world, especially before marriage and having children. As we grow up together day and night, our parents provide for our clothing, food, shelter, and transportation, and we receive moral education from them. All of this could make us feel a special attachment to our parents, both emotionally and in terms of our thoughts and ideas.

It is likely that their departure will be challenging for them, whether at a conscious or subconscious level.

2. It is inevitable that there will be some challenging moments in the relationship with parents. Despite the closeness of a family, each individual has their own unique perspective and way of thinking. This can sometimes lead to differing opinions and conflicts. Many parents have strong beliefs and expectations for their children, which can sometimes result in children making compromises in their preferences. These experiences can be difficult for children, and may limit their opportunities to explore new things.

3. The departure of my parents a year ago was initially a bit sad and painful, and the degree was very deep. In order to adjust myself, I chose to travel far away, go out for a walk, and calm down a bit. I was fortunate to experience scenes that I had never experienced before, which helped me to think more freely about the past. When I was at home alone, without the nagging of my parents, I also experienced the freedom to do whatever I wanted. All of this may make the brain happy, and I feel that my outlook on life has become more positive.

4. It is also possible that the departure of your parents made you feel too sad, too painful, and too reluctant to let go, and your brain may have issued a protective mechanism, such as, "In fact, this state is pretty good, and there are many, many scenarios that make you feel better." It might be helpful to explore this a little further. If this is the case, it would be beneficial to pay attention to it instead, and find a way to gradually release the deep-seated pain.

It is important to remember that everyone is an independent individual and should take control of their own lives. This is something that should be respected and encouraged. It is also important to be grateful for the experiences we have had with our parents, as they have loved us and wished us happiness. However, we must also acknowledge that times and experiences can differ, and this can impact our approach.

Given your current circumstances, they may find some solace in the knowledge that there is an afterlife.

From your description, I can clearly see the conflict and confusion you're experiencing.

As a psychological counselor, I will now share my understanding from a psychological perspective.

Your question is: My parents left me, and I went to many fun places this year. During this time, I didn't have to be scolded by them or take care of them. When I was alone, I thought back on this period of time, listening to pleasant music, and recalled that this was the most carefree year I've ever had. I've never been so free-spirited before, and I truly experienced a life in control of myself. It's very freeing and comfortable. I feel that this is the true meaning of being a human being. Sometimes when I listen to music or watch certain psychology videos, I suddenly cry. What am I crying about? Am I crying because I'm happy that no one is looking after me when my parents are gone? I miss them, but I don't want to go back to the old days. I can live my life as I please from now on. I was very reluctant when my parents went to the Yellow Springs Road, but I didn't expect to have this kind of experience. Is this the life experience they brought me?

Your parents have left, and you have been taking care of them. You have also been troubled by your parents' relationship, with love and hate mixed together. Suddenly, without the attention of your parents, you have promptly adjusted your separation anxiety, accepted the fact, and started to cultivate yourself. You have experienced paying attention to yourself and loving yourself, that is, feeling free and living without constraints, and also feeling the sadness of not being connected to your parents subconsciously. You will go slowly and slowly realize this sense of happiness, this sense of relaxation, and the love and thoughts behind it for your parents.

You may have had a conflictual attachment pattern with your parents during your growth process. Being restricted, scolded, and rejected formed your obedience, docility, and inferiority complex. As you grew up, you learned to let go of the restrictions. You have repaired your relationship with your original family, understood the connection between your parents, and started to pay attention to your own heart. You have also begun to do the things you want to do, and you will establish a stable intimate relationship with your parents' love and carry it forward, as well as feel what it is like to be a parent. Be strong and stable inside, and cheer up!

I can totally relate to how you're feeling right now. Moving out and starting your own life is a huge step.

Your descriptions of freedom and comfort show how much you love and enjoy this new life. I also understand why you're reluctant to let go of your parents. This mix of emotions makes you tearful while enjoying your newfound freedom.

First of all, I just want to say that you are really impressive! It takes a lot of courage and determination to leave the protection of your parents and start exploring your own life.

Over the past year, you've had the chance to visit lots of interesting places and try out lots of new things, which are all valuable assets in your life. Your independence and autonomy have allowed you to truly experience the feeling of taking control of your life, which is an indescribable sense of satisfaction and freedom.

I know your parents' passing was tough on you. But I want you to believe that in their hearts, they see you thriving in a life of purpose and freedom, and they're proud and happy for you.

They'd be thrilled to see you grow up and become independent. Even though they can't be there for you anymore, they'll always be in your heart.

You said you sometimes get teary-eyed when you listen to music or watch psychology videos. That's totally normal. You're feeling nostalgic for the past, but also excited about the future.

This complex mix of emotions makes you tear up. But please believe that this is a normal emotional response, which represents your thoughts about your parents and your feelings about your new life.

I also get the feeling that you have some expectations and visions for the future. You want to live your life according to your own wishes, which is a love and pursuit of life.

I truly believe that as long as you keep up this positive outlook and keep pushing forward, you'll undoubtedly create an even more amazing life for yourself.

I just wanted to remind you to take care of yourself, even though you're now living a more carefree life. Being independent means taking on more responsibilities and obligations.

It's important to maintain healthy habits and a positive outlook so you can fully enjoy the beauty of life.

We can't expect our parents to stick around forever. It's sad and tough to say goodbye, but it's also part of life.

Remember the good times you had with them, and be ready to take on whatever the future brings.

Finally, I just want to say that no matter what difficulties and challenges you may face in the future, please believe in yourself. You have what it takes to overcome them, and your life will become more exciting and fulfilling!

On top of that, this experience of living independently has also helped you understand what freedom really means. Freedom isn't just about not having any limits or restrictions. It's also about having a sense of inner liberation and ease.

You can now arrange your life as you wish, pursuing your dreams and interests. This is a rare experience and a valuable asset in your life.

On the other hand, this experience has also made you appreciate your parents more. You've come to realize how precious time with them is and how selfless and profound their love and care really is.

Even though they're no longer around, their love and guidance will always be with you, motivating you as you move forward.

My dear, this experience of independent living has really been inspiring. You've shown us what true growth and progress look like through your actions.

I truly believe that this experience will become one of the most valuable assets in your life and will inspire more people to pursue their dreams and goals.

I hope you can keep up this independent and autonomous spirit, and courageously pursue your dreams. At the same time, don't forget those who have accompanied and supported you.

They're your good fortune and wealth, as well as your driving force and support moving forward.

I'd like to thank you again for sharing your experiences and feelings. Your story will inspire others to face challenges and opportunities with courage.

I'm sure your future will be even more exciting and brilliant! Go for it!

The original poster is

I am Kelly Shui.

[After leaving my parents, I was reluctant to do so, but I knew that life would be better. What's going on?

From reading the original poster's words, it's clear you have a lot of complex feelings and emotions towards your parents. It's also evident you've faced significant difficulties.

[About emotions]

After your parents left, you went to many interesting places that year. During that time, you were not scolded by them, you did not have to take care of them, and at the same time, you felt unrestrained for the first time, doing whatever you wanted. At the same time, you truly experienced a life under your own control, free and very.

I am certain you have suffered a great deal over the years. Your decision to leave is undoubtedly the best course of action for your own well-being.

You are experiencing the meaning of being a person and truly parting with your parents.

This is a common experience that many people have at different stages of life. Ueno Chizuko also mentioned the complex emotions that arise after the death of a parent.

The relationship between parents and us is very deep and complex. It is filled with happy memories as well as a lot of pain. When you listen to a song or watch a video, you may suddenly burst into tears because it triggers a lot of emotions inside.

Crying is an expression of emotions, and it's okay to cry. Watching videos or listening to songs is also good, and you can also find someone to talk to and talk about some repressed emotions.

I believe that during this time, as we reflect on ourselves, some repressed emotions will inevitably emerge. A counselor can serve as our "listener," offering support and guidance when we are emotional and helping us see perspectives that we cannot see on our own.

Let your pent-up emotions out. Let your real emotions flow. Release your stress. You will feel better.

[About connection]

It's normal to feel sad about your parents' absence and lack of care. It's also normal to think about them and not want to go back to the past.

You can live your life as you wish in the future, regardless of what feelings are real. There are many kinds of connections with your parents. You may want to reassure them, but you also want to let them know you are doing well in your own way.

Each of us expresses ourselves in different ways and experiences things differently at different stages. During this period of time, you must take care of yourself first. You can write a letter to your parents, write about your life, or find a friend or relative you trust to talk about your feelings.

During this period, accept every experience and feeling you have. Record them in whatever way you like, whether it be drawing or writing.

Take care of yourself too. You can record the life experiences your mum and dad have brought you during this time in a diary.

We can connect in many ways. We must thank ourselves, no matter what. We need to give ourselves more strength to live well and love ourselves.

The world and I love you.

Read these books: "This World is Worth Living" and "The Power of Self-Care."

Hello! Many people feel this way after a loved one dies.

You feel free because you are no longer cared for by your parents. But you also feel sad because you have lost the emotional connection with them.

There are many reasons why you may cry.

Sometimes, we hide our feelings. But when we're alone, we can feel them.

This is a natural way to deal with sadness.

— Music and videos often remind us of our parents. When you hear certain songs or see certain videos, you may feel sad or miss them.

After a loved one dies, we may think about our lives and values. We may realize that our parents have had a big impact on us.

This can make us feel grateful, sad, or nostalgic.

You may feel lonely because you don't have your parents' companionship and care.

This can make you feel sad. These reasons are not separate; they can affect your emotions together.

Give yourself time and space to deal with these emotions. Try these methods to relieve sadness and loneliness:

1. Talk to family and friends.

2. Get help from a counselor or psychologist if you can't cope on your own.

3. Develop hobbies: Do things to enrich your life.

4. Honor your parents in some special way. These ways can help you deal with your parents' emotions and memories.

Everyone's emotions are different. You might feel sad and lonely now, but you will adapt and find happiness.

I hope this helps. I'm Deng Hong, a listening therapist. I'll listen to you. Talk to me.

Hello, I am a heart exploration coach, and I would like to offer you some advice.

I can see that you are having a hard time processing the fact that your parents left you. It's understandable that you might be reluctant to let go of this difficult situation. However, I believe that by becoming aware of your inner state and recognizing that it is a feeling you can cope with, you will find that your whole life can improve.

Perhaps the challenge here is finding a way to move forward in a way that is true to our feelings, while also embracing the new reality that our parents have left and that our lives have improved.

This apparent contradiction may be the root of your internal conflict and self-blame. It's understandable to feel that your parents' departure was a significant loss, and that life should offer more relief and happiness.

I believe we can work together to sort things out based on your detailed text content and find answers together in the process of our communication.

First of all, your parents left you a year ago, and in that year you went to many fun places. Could it be that this was due to the fact that something so unexpected happened at that time?

Perhaps you were seeking a way to lift your spirits and chose to travel as a means of doing so.

It's possible that your starting point at the time wasn't necessarily to organize your life, but rather to experience a sense of sadness.

You were seeking a way to ease your emotions, as otherwise the impact of this significant event would have been quite profound, both for you personally and for our relationship.

However, after embarking on a journey with this initial mindset, you discovered that, for a period of time, without the burden of their reprimands and the responsibility of caring for them, you were able to experience a sense of liberation and ease, exploring numerous destinations and pursuing your own interests.

You might say that you can listen to music whenever you want, eat whatever you want, and do whatever you want whenever you want.

It is natural to feel comfortable with a life that you control, as it allows you to have a sense of direction and the freedom to make changes as you see fit.

In contrast to when our parents were alive, we now find ourselves facing a number of demands from them.

Sometimes, we feel helpless, and as children, we try to be filial by listening to our parents, but after listening, we may not feel happy inside. These feelings may have been suppressed until now. When we have the opportunity to truly achieve freedom, we may discover that our lives can be wonderful.

This brings us back to the question I posed at the outset of this article: On the one hand, you are free, but on the other hand, you feel a profound sense of guilt about something that has affected you deeply. It would be beneficial for you to give this some attention now.

It might be worth considering that if you keep dwelling on this sadness, your parents' spirits in heaven might not be entirely happy to see you.

As parents, they undoubtedly hope that their children are happy and content. It is only natural to feel a sense of loss and sadness when they are no longer with us.

Nevertheless, these emotions will eventually subside, and this is the inevitable outcome.

It would be beneficial to consider this matter with an objective and calm mind. One way to approach this is to reflect on what we have gained from the passing of our parents.

Could I ask you to consider what feelings this brings you?

It seems that the first gain is the opportunity to travel to many cities and the chance to regain control of your life. It may also be the case that you really love your parents from the bottom of your heart and understand that they love you.

Perhaps we could consider visiting them on their death anniversary in the future. Or you might like to look back on the happy memories you shared and use them to encourage you to move on.

It might also be the case that you find yourself suddenly crying while listening to songs or watching certain psychology videos.

Perhaps it would be helpful to review the types of songs you listened to and certain psychology videos you watched, and whether they have commonalities. This could potentially serve as a starting point.

As a starting point, we can try to identify the underlying cause of your distress.

If I might offer a preliminary guess based on my more than five years of experience in the psychology industry, I could help you analyze the situation and offer some advice.

After that, you may organize what you want to say to me according to my words, and click on my main personal page to ask a question. After that, I would be happy to help you more specifically.

It is worth noting that the specific circumstances of the song, such as whether it is about a parent who has passed away, may not be as important as the emotional resonance it evokes. When we listen to a song, we often feel a sense of empathy for the singer and may find ourselves transported back to a cherished memory.

I believe that's why you're crying. Crying is actually

From my own experience, there are two possible explanations. One is that your parents have passed away.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your own perspective.

It can be a little overwhelming when you realize that they have left and you are left alone, feeling very helpless.

Another possibility is that crying is about feeling sorry for the past self. It's possible that the previous self was suppressed by the parents.

It's understandable that parents have their own ideas about how to educate their children. They often want to do it in a way that they think is right.

Perhaps in the past, we were

If you feel you cannot be yourself, you may wish to consider allowing yourself to embrace the freedom you desire within your heart.

Now that you have found yourself again, your crying may also indicate that your heart is distressed by your past grievances. There are two possibilities that could be considered.

Perhaps it would be helpful to go back and review the events of this period.

It might be helpful to further explore the types of songs and their psychological content.

If I might humbly offer my perspective, I believe that now that you have gained self-awareness, you are still experiencing a certain degree of emotional fluctuation. It seems that your current emotions are largely shaped by the sadness of having been left.

Perhaps the best way forward is to resolve it. It's not helpful to leave things unresolved for too long, especially if we don't fully understand the situation. It's likely that we won't be able to find a solution if we don't address it.

If many things are not resolved, there is a risk that this knot in the heart, this conflict, will remain suppressed for a long time, which could potentially lead to future challenges.

After an incident, it is not uncommon for there to be some discrepancies in our recollection of events.

Rather than waiting until the incident is over and the emotions have subsided, we have the option of expressing our emotions and thoughts at this moment. We could consider writing down what we want to say to our parents, or what we want to say to the part of ourselves that suppressed us in the past. It might be helpful to organize the words.

If it is not too much trouble, I kindly ask that you send it to me. I would be happy to work with you to find ways to relieve your emotions, so that you can live a better life in the future.

I look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best.

Hello, question asker. My name is Evan, and I'm a counselor trained in the Transactional Analysis school of thought.

From the questioner's description, I can sense a certain internal conflict. During the growth stage, we tend to be influenced by our parents to a great extent. If our parents are no longer with us, we may initially feel reluctant, but we will also gradually feel a sense of ease and freedom in controlling our own lives.

The feelings of the questioner are very real and complex. Many people will experience similar emotional changes at some stage in their lives. At different stages of life, we all have different situations to face. It is important to be aware of these changes and to accept ourselves and these changes.

It is crucial to acknowledge the feelings of the questioner, although we may not be able to explore them in depth. In this limited space, we can only offer a brief analysis.

With the passing of your parents, you may initially feel a sense of loss and uncertainty. However, as time passes, you may begin to appreciate the freedom and joy of living without their restrictions.

After their parents leave, the questioner begins to live independently, which brings an unprecedented sense of freedom. The questioner is then able to freely decide on their own lifestyle, travel destinations, entertainment, etc. This sense of control makes the questioner feel very comfortable and at ease.

This experience is a natural part of growing up and an important milestone in the questioner's life.

It is important to remember that processes such as birth, aging, sickness, and death are experiences that everyone must go through in life, and that no one is exempt from them. The departure of your parents and your independent life have undoubtedly evoked a range of emotions within the questioner, and it is likely that they will experience a certain degree of reluctance and relief.

The questioner's life will require her to face the future independently, and independent living will afford the questioner more opportunities to explore herself, understand her preferences, and pursue her interests. This process of self-discovery may also make the questioner feel very excited and satisfied.

Emotional conflicts and complexity: Human emotions are complex, and it is not uncommon to experience a range of emotions simultaneously. The questioner may feel a sense of sadness due to the loss of their parents, yet at the same time, they may also feel a sense of joy and freedom that comes with being an independent individual.

While you are enjoying your current life of freedom, it is also natural to have thoughts and feelings of missing your parents. These emotions are complex because, while you are enjoying your freedom, you also realize that your parents' departure means you have lost their love and care.

This emotional upheaval can manifest as sudden tears when listening to music or watching videos about psychology. It is a natural and understandable response.

It might be helpful to accept the situation. Even though your parents have left, they have given you the opportunity to live and grow, which also includes your ability to live independently now. You may even realize at some point that this freedom and independence is the last gift they gave you.

You have also come to realize that although the past may have had some challenges, it was also a part of your growth. You now have the opportunity to look at the past more objectively, accept it, and move on.

With time and experience, you will gradually cultivate a mature and tolerant mindset in your independent life.

It is to be expected that the questioner will feel excited and look forward to the future, now that they have more opportunities to shape their own lives. They can live according to their own wishes and plans, which will undoubtedly give them confidence in the future.

It would be beneficial to start thinking about how to better plan your life to achieve your dreams and goals.

We all experience a range of emotions during the course of our lives. These feelings are an integral part of the process of growing up and becoming independent. The departure of your parents provides you with the opportunity to experience a broader life, and it also encourages you to cherish and be grateful for the time you spent with them.

While it is natural to feel lonely and miss them at times, this is an important part of the journey towards growth and maturity. It is possible to continue enjoying your current life while also maintaining a sense of gratitude and appreciation for your parents.

If you are feeling uncertain or would benefit from guidance, you may find it helpful to seek the support of a professional counselor. This could assist you in gaining a deeper understanding of your emotions and learning effective strategies for navigating them.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner.

I would like to suggest some related book recommendations.

The Miracle of Morning Journaling: This book gently introduces the practice of keeping a diary as a way to support readers in their personal growth.

In "How to Live on Your Own," the author thoughtfully combines yoga with meditation exercises to provide readers with steps and methods for building self-confidence and achieving independent living.

I would like to suggest that The Great Gatsby is a novel that reveals American society and culture in the 1920s through the story of the protagonist, and that it shows the contrast between wealth and true happiness.

The Catcher in the Rye is a novel that explores a young man's search for self-discovery and presents a thought-provoking perspective on social values.

Inferiority and Transcendence: Alfred Adler's psychological classic offers insights into recognizing and transcending feelings of inferiority.