If my colleagues in the same group are idle, do other colleagues and leaders blame me for not assigning tasks?

Hello!

This is a challenging situation, but you can do it! Here are some suggestions that may help:

Have a chat with your supervisor! If you feel that your workload and responsibilities are unfair compared to colleague kkk, then it's time to speak up! Find an appropriate time to communicate with your supervisor. Explain your dilemma and concerns, and explain that you have tried to cooperate with colleague kkk but have encountered difficulties.

This way, your supervisor will understand the situation and consider adjusting the workload or work distribution. Just remember to keep your tone calm and avoid being emotional or offensive, and you'll be fine!

Seek support! If you feel unable to express yourself clearly in front of your supervisor or are worried about being reported, you can seek help and support from other colleagues or friends. Let them know your dilemma and seek their advice or support. They'll be happy to help!

Sometimes a third party's perspective and opinion can shed a much better light on the situation!

Protect yourself! Don't let others shift their workload and responsibilities onto you. If colleague kkk is unwilling to take on the work, don't force him to, but don't take on the work yourself either.

This will make colleague kkk think you are a pushover and other colleagues think you are incompetent. But you can learn to protect your work results and interests!

It's okay to say no! When a colleague or supervisor asks you to share some of your work with colleague kkk, you can say no. You can explain that you have already assigned work tasks and trust that colleague kkk will do their best to complete their work.

If colleague kkk does have problems, there's no need to worry! We can discuss solutions together and come up with a plan.

Don't be a tattletale! Tattling can damage relationships with colleagues and may give others a bad impression of you. If you really feel you must explain a problem to a supervisor, provide objective facts and evidence, rather than tattling.

And finally, remember to stay calm, cool, and collected! Avoid getting caught up in the emotion of the moment and try to solve problems in a positive way. Communicate and cooperate effectively with the people involved and watch the magic happen!

Your colleague is disabled. Disabled people are naturally slower at work, but that doesn't mean they can't be just as productive as you are! It might take a little more time and patience, but with the right training, you can teach kkk to be as productive as you are.

This is a matter of physiology and ability—and we can work with that!

People's abilities can be changed, and they can change in the short term! If your colleague is willing to learn how to do the job or take the initiative to work faster, you will be able to get the job done without taking on the work yourself.

Even if you let kkk do the work, you still get to double-check it several times to make sure that kkk's work doesn't have any major flaws that will get you into trouble.

KKK would have been perfect in that other role!

Absolutely! You could certainly adjust the work and give him the simpler part. But assigning tasks to him is not your obligation, and it is not something you have to do.

This is one of those areas where it's totally okay to give him work, but it's also okay not to. The great thing is, you get to decide whether kkk is a good fit for your department!

The work will only get harder, but it will also get more exciting! It will be a breeze for KKK to adapt to the intensity of the work.

It's a shame that kkk is holding you back. But if you transfer him, you'll have the chance to bring in new hires who are more efficient!

And there's always more to come!

The great thing is, all your leaders and colleagues can see that kkk works slowly. Whether kkk is transferred or not, everyone will know that kkk is inefficient.

Your leader is assigning you work because he thinks you are the leader of KKK and your ability is stronger than KKK.

Your leader has a different vision for KKK. They want KKK to be a reliable partner who can help you with some of the work.

In any industry, no one wants to see someone who doesn't do anything just hanging around. So the leader will say to you, "Why isn't kkk doing anything? Have you assigned any work to kkk?"

As KKK's leader, you have an amazing opportunity to let your team shine! If a subordinate can do the right thing, they are the leader.

There's a traditional saying that goes, "If you're so capable, you do it." And it's usually said by subordinates!

You are not in a position to say what KKK has done wrong, that KKK is not as good as you, and that is as it should be. But you are in a position to do something about it!

It's time to think long-term!

Good morning, I'm ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I can see that your colleagues are in an awkward situation. They have nothing to do, but other colleagues and leaders blame you for not dividing up the tasks.

The leader and colleagues may be more caring towards this person because we will naturally give preferential treatment to people with disabilities. We cannot look at people with disabilities with a critical eye. If we also cause them trouble in other ways, it may cause them more stress.

Most people see it this way, but at work, it's all about the facts. He didn't do well, he's lazy, and when you assigned tasks, he didn't say he wanted to do more, but instead pushed the tasks onto you.

You can only bear it alone. You asked your colleague to take on a few more orders in his spare time, but he said he couldn't. You were afraid of offending him.

You can only plan to work overtime yourself. You are worried that telling the truth will make the whole company avoid you. Even if you don't say anything, you will be exhausted. It's not worth the effort.

Talk to your supervisor now.

You don't have any malicious intent. You just want to explain the situation. You've assigned your own tasks, but you've always been misunderstood. This colleague can't help himself. When he's asked to do something, he just makes jokes.

Or doing nothing is not good. The other person may take advantage of his disability. Goofing off is disrespectful to work and damages his image.

Organize your words, evaluate the matter, and make your attitude clear. You work hard and hope the other person will too.

This is your appeal. Anyone can see what's going on. You can't keep taking the blame. You don't have the luxury of making mistakes. We are all just ordinary people. In the end, we will all be equal. Best wishes.

ZQ?

Hello, I'm Xia Fan, a listening coach. I can feel your anxiety and grievances. Let me be clear: you are not alone. At work, you have encountered a colleague with a congenital disability. Everyone around him seems to feel sympathy for him and want to take care of him, which makes you feel unfairly treated as his partner. You feel aggrieved and lonely.

I am torn between whether or not to communicate with my leader about my inability to motivate him. I am worried that snitching will be resented and I will be isolated. Let's analyze this together.

Firstly, we must consider whether there is a lack of boundary-setting in the workplace and interpersonal relationships. You mentioned that this colleague asked you to take on a few more orders during the project, and when you asked him to take on the orders, he refused on the grounds that he wanted to help take care of a colleague's child. Furthermore, you also want to protect his image, so you take on more work yourself.

Do you feel that, like everyone else, he is vulnerable because of his disability and want to protect and care for him? Is it because of this that it is difficult to establish clear boundaries with this colleague, to make demands on him or say "no"?

Your hard work at work has not been seen or recognized by your supervisor. In fact, it seems to others that you have taken all the work for yourself, leaving him with nothing to do. This misunderstanding and the fact that your efforts are not being recognized are causing you to feel aggrieved. You feel lonely and can only swallow your grievances. From your words, it is clear that this colleague is very good at maintaining a good relationship with his supervisor and colleagues, while he himself just works silently.

We must also try to improve our relationships with the people around us so that they can see and understand us.

We can and should talk to our leaders about the difficulties we encounter at work. We must be careful with our choice of words and express ourselves in an objective and neutral manner so that our supervisors do not misunderstand us.

I highly recommend two books: Interpersonal Boundaries and Communication Methods. I'm confident you'll find them helpful. Best of luck!

Hello.

Your colleague KKK is disabled. Maybe that's why the leader put you in the same group. So you can take care of him.

Because of his disability, people feel sorry for him and are reluctant to be mean to him. They accommodate him and think he is courageous despite his disability. This is also the reason why he gets along well with everyone in the unit.

You only discussed it with him because of his disability. If he didn't want to, you would work overtime without forcing him to take the work. We are strong, while he is weak.

People always help the weak without thinking about asking them to do more than they can handle. They always try to consider their difficulties. So now, even though you are clearly suffering, it is difficult to express it. This really makes people feel a bit stuffy.

This is also confusing. When Kkk isn't busy, he helps other departments with childcare.

He can't take on more work for your team. Maybe you can work with him on data collection before you start.

You can delegate data entry and fieldwork to him. The supervisor told you to take on Kkk more often, so the leader believes he can take on more work.

If Kkk can't do the job, no one will recognize him. Don't criticize him, just give him the work.

If he can't do the job, you can teach him. If he can't do the job, you'll have to let him go.

You are kind and honest. You would rather work overtime than offend or report kkk to your supervisor. You want to maintain your friendship at work and hope that he can still cooperate with you to complete the work of your team.

KKK is on your team. Your leader and colleagues have asked you to assign work to him. You don't need to discuss it with him. You can just make arrangements, assign tasks, and ask him to complete them. There are three work projects in the last two months of the year. You can't do them on your own. You have to assign half of them to him. This will make him feel the pressure of work. It will also stop him hanging around the office.

You can work together and then give your work to the supervisor. You don't have to manage him; you just have to lead him.

This team includes him too. You two should work together.

The leader may assign tasks to your team because you are two people and thinks you can accomplish them by helping each other. It depends on how you use the available resources. Only when a person takes on part of the responsibility will they have a sense of mission and responsibility.

The group is not one person in charge of everything. You take on too much and are responsible for everything, which may have caused the current situation.

Maybe you think, "If you get too tired, you'll have to go home and rest. Then kkk will have to take on more responsibilities."

Split up the work before you get tired. Then you can work together to finish it.

Love yourself too.

Hello, my name is Huang Xiaolu.

I can appreciate that you have persevered for so many years. If you had not encountered difficulties that you felt unable to overcome, you may not have sought assistance. It is clear that you have persevered for a long time!

I imagine there must be a very important reason for you to have persisted for so long. You have worked hard and done more than your fair share, while also trying to protect the reputation of your colleagues.

Perhaps you've come to realize that the reasons you initially felt motivated to make a change have since shifted. It's natural for motivation to ebb and flow, and it's understandable that you've reached a point where you feel ready for a change.

First of all, I believe that the main obstacle to your desire to change without changing is that we have not adjusted our current perception. In the workplace, it would be beneficial for us to distinguish between what is an effective way to suffer and what is an ineffective way to suffer.

It might be worth considering whether doing more work to improve your skills and enhance the competitiveness of the team is the most effective way to achieve your goals.

It might be worth considering that doing more work just to gain a good reputation in the workplace and simply to help your teammates in the long term might not be the most effective approach.

It seems that your current approach may not be the most effective or beneficial. Your skills have not been enhanced, the team is unable to take on additional projects, the individual you are assisting has a disability, and this issue is unlikely to change. While you are providing assistance, it may not be fully addressing the challenges she is facing. Your support is helpful in the short term, but in the long term, it may result in tasks being shifted to her, which could potentially impact her motivation and satisfaction. It's unfortunate that your efforts are not fully recognized by your supervisor and colleagues, and they may not fully appreciate your kind intentions.

So, perhaps it would be best not to dwell on what you said about snitching. It's likely that others will stay away from you as a result. Furthermore, your boss and colleagues have suggested that you share some of your work with your colleagues. It might be helpful to consider doing so.

Once you have overcome this hurdle, the next question is how to proceed. It is likely that your colleagues will not automatically accept their work assignments. They may assume that you can complete them, and you may not want to refuse.

If you would like to break the current habitual state of work, you might like to consider taking the initiative to make a change. How might you go about doing that?

1. It would be helpful to clearly divide the work at the beginning of each month, indicating which tasks belong to you and which to him, and determining the time for submitting the results. You might also consider CCing your manager on this plan.

2. It would be beneficial to provide regular updates and summaries to your supervisor, ensuring that the results are accurately conveyed.

3. If you are unable to assist your colleague in completing the tasks he should be doing, you may consider sending regular emails to gently remind him and copy your supervisor.

4. Finally, if you don't do it and he really doesn't do it, and it keeps getting delayed, it will ultimately affect the progress of the entire project. You, who have a sense of responsibility, may feel anxious about the situation. What can you do to help? You could consider insisting on not helping, but you can also stand by him and teach him how to do it together in the meeting room.

If you still don't do it, you may find yourself facing some criticism and even a potential reduction in your salary for not completing the project on time.

Embracing change can be challenging, particularly when we're accustomed to a certain way of working. Those who are first to adapt may initially face some resistance. However, with resilience and determination, they can navigate the transition successfully.

In addition, your supervisor and colleagues have suggested that you consider assisting that colleague with some of their tasks. This is not meant as a criticism, but rather as a way of expressing their concern that you can share the workload with the team and not be the only one busy.

Your consideration is appreciated. If this was helpful to you, we kindly ask that you click "Useful."

We are pleased to introduce the next contributor to our discussion, Yixinli's own Huang Xiaolu.

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxifeng, a Heart Detective coach.

I once joked that in my friend's company, there are three people in one department, but only one and a half can do the work. There are actually many factors that determine the workload, such as responsibility, the driving factors behind actions, and interpersonal relationships.

From what the questioner says, it seems like his colleague is pretty popular. So if he doesn't do the work, everyone will just talk about it and tease the questioner for not assigning the work, while he can feel justified in doing less.

It'd be helpful to try to understand why the other person is acting the way they are and find out what's stopping them from doing the work.

The questioner is too kind and ends up taking on more work than they should. This makes the other person dependent and eventually, they stop doing it on their own.

The other person's family has a mine and the company has a patron, which will affect their work enthusiasm. The former doesn't lack money, and the latter isn't worried about being fired.

The questioner cares more about the result than the other person. My friend has two colleagues, one who comes from a wealthy family and one who comes from a powerful family. They don't care much about performance. My friend, on the other hand, has no advantages. Even if he works overtime, he still has to do his best to achieve results and performance, and pull the team up by himself.

Ask yourself what's driving you to do it. The author of "5% Change" said we can try to distinguish between the types of things we want to do: others tell you to do it, you don't want to, but you can't help it; others tell you to do it, and you want to do it too, so you agree.

Are there factors in the final decision to do it that are also important to the person asking you to do it? From their perspective, it's better to do it yourself than wait for them to do it together. You might be able to understand what's important to them by paying attention to this.

Keeping an eye on what's driving the motivation might help the questioner to communicate better and get things sorted.

If this is something that will really benefit you, even if the king can't lead the bronze, you should find a way to take on the responsibility.

Try to get other people involved, for example, by creating a group of three people and posting tasks and progress in the group. I would use this method with a colleague who is unable to be motivated, so that he is supervised by his leader, even if he is not doing it. The questioner will not be seen as marginalizing the other party.

From the outside, it looks like a circus. The questioner doesn't need to explain their personnel arrangements to other departments. They just need to let their leader know.

First, try reasoning with him. Don't go behind his back to talk about his faults. Find out why he doesn't want to do it. If you're willing to help, take on a little more of the burden for him. If you're not willing to take on the burden, try communicating with him frankly first. If that doesn't work, tell him you'll talk to the leader.

Be straightforward and honest, and don't try to pull any tricks.

It'd be good to try to separate the issues and distinguish between your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of the gods. Every person in the workplace has to be responsible for their own actions. You could tell yourself that worrying too much for him now will harm him, and that if he changes jobs in the future and fails to pass the internship period, it will make him feel guilty. This might help.

"Managing Up" and "The Courage to Be Disliked" might help the questioner figure out what he wants to say, make things clearer, and feel less stressed.

Wishing you the best!

Managing Up

I extend a warm greeting from a distance.

I am gratified to have observed your appeal for assistance and trust that my contribution will prove beneficial. I empathize with your inner sentiments of discontent, indignation, helplessness, and powerlessness when you are unable to obtain the support you require from your colleague and when your supervisor misconstrues your decision not to assign work to your colleague.

From your description, it can be seen that in the process of working in a team with this colleague who is disabled from birth, you have taken on a significant amount of responsibility, which is more out of your instinctive kindness, compassion, and care for him. It is evident that these things that you have deliberately taken on in the process of working with him have resulted in a sense of exhaustion, a feeling of being overwhelmed, and a sense of frustration due to a lack of understanding, appreciation, and support.

This is something that your colleague is able to do within the scope of his abilities. The foundation of providing support and assistance to him is that you must first establish a stable foundation for yourself. When he requires assistance, you offer him robust support and assistance. In turn, when you require his support and assistance, you must courageously communicate your needs. This is an example of effective collaboration and mutual support in the workplace. What are your thoughts on this matter?

In light of the aforementioned description, it becomes evident that the crux of the issue lies in the lack of clarity surrounding boundaries in the workplace and the inability to assertively decline assistance when necessary.

It is important to allow and accept oneself. While one may be considerate and caring when working with a colleague with a disability, this must be based on his or her initiative and need. Furthermore, one can only provide assistance after completing one's own tasks. If one is not yet finished with their own work, it is essential to prioritize it. If a colleague with a disability requires assistance at that moment, one must possess the courage to decline.

Consequently, even if one is dealing with a colleague who is less capable and less physically strong than oneself, if said colleague does not take the initiative to seek support and help from one's self, and one takes the initiative to provide said support and help, said colleague may feel rejected, denied, disrespected, and aggrieved by not being trusted. The more one provides support and help, the more hurt said colleague may feel. Not only will said colleague not thank one for one's support and help, but said colleague will respond with passive aggression, for example, not providing one with strong support and help when one needs it, but providing said support and help to other colleagues with their children.

It is therefore important to establish clear boundaries in one's relationships and to develop the capacity to decline requests and refuse assistance when necessary. It is essential to fulfil one's obligations, provide appropriate support and assistance when required, and to offer others what they desire, rather than what one is inclined to provide.

Good day, Jokerev. I can sense your inner turmoil and exhaustion.

Firstly, I would like to acknowledge your kindness and tolerance. You have consistently striven to maintain a balance between your professional responsibilities and the need to foster a harmonious team environment, which is a commendable quality.

In the case of your colleague KKK, you have assumed additional responsibilities, sometimes at the expense of your own time and energy. Your concern is that he is not sharing the workload effectively, and other colleagues and your supervisor have misunderstood the situation.

This situation can undoubtedly be a source of stress and frustration.

However, it is important to consider this issue from a broader perspective. We must acknowledge that everyone has their own limitations and challenges, and that colleague kkk may not be able to contribute as much as you do due to their own limitations or other reasons.

It is still important to communicate rationally and avoid intensifying conflicts.

I recommend scheduling an appointment with your supervisor to discuss the practical challenges you're facing on the project and your thoughts on the work distribution. Avoid approaching this conversation with a negative tone or as a form of "snitching." Instead, take the opportunity to reflect on the issues and propose constructive solutions, such as adjusting the division of labor or providing kkk with more suitable tasks.

Additionally, you may wish to communicate with your colleague frankly, informing him of your concerns and encouraging him to take on more work within the scope of his abilities to share the pressure. You may also wish to develop a clear work plan, which will not only help him improve his work efficiency but also reduce unnecessary misunderstandings.

Finally, do not allow the idle chatter of your colleagues to affect you unduly. Simply do what you believe is the right thing to do, and the outcome will become apparent in time. It is unavoidable that there will be friction and misunderstandings in any interpersonal relationship. What is important is how we understand and deal with these complex emotional interactions.

In the workplace, we seek to achieve team efficiency and personal growth, rather than isolated individual heroism. You have the right to seek fair treatment, but also the responsibility to maintain a positive team atmosphere.

When you approach a problem with a calm and rational attitude, you will not only gain the understanding of others, but also motivate the entire team to move in a more productive direction. Best of luck!

Dear question asker, I can perceive the confusion you are experiencing, and I extend to you a gesture of support and encouragement.

The issue remains complex.

A colleague in the same group, kkk, is afflicted with a congenital disease.

It is also conceivable that, due to the necessity of delivering some orders outside the office, colleague kkk may be reluctant to take a taxi to complete the task.

It is recommended that you persist in requesting that the order be taken.

It is not necessarily the case that your colleague is unwilling to complete the task.

It would be advisable to arrange a suitable time to communicate with your colleague.

In communicating with him, it is recommended that you begin with a greater number of "I" words and a lesser number of "you" words.

Additionally, the methods outlined in the book on nonviolent communication may be employed.

For example, one might inquire of colleague kkk, "I've long been curious about your reluctance to accept additional orders. Might your congenital disability be a factor? Do you find it onerous to take taxis? Please understand that I do not intend to ascribe blame."

Observe the response of your colleague to the aforementioned information.

Subsequently, you may wish to return to your leader to report the matter.

It can be posited that colleague kkk is reluctant to accept additional orders due to the perceived inconvenience of utilizing taxis.

Subsequently, the leader may reassign him to a department that is more aligned with his skills and expertise.

It is my sincere hope that the problem you are currently experiencing will be resolved in the near future.

At this juncture, my thoughts are solely directed towards the aforementioned subject matter.

It is my sincere hope that my above answer is both helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I endeavor to provide thoughtful and well-researched responses on a daily basis.

Best wishes from Yixinli!

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