If unable to find a life goal, wouldn't it be fine to take happiness as a pursuit?

Hello, Landlord. From your description, I get the impression that you have an optimistic and open-minded attitude. While you may not have achieved what others think you should have done by this age, it seems that you are living the way you want to, which is an important aspect of life. I admire your strength and resilience.

It might be helpful to remember that it's not always necessary to think about what other people think. Sometimes, it's more important to focus on living the way you want to.

(1) External voices and opinions can have a dual impact on our lives. If we lack confidence, receiving praise for our abilities may boost our self-esteem. However, if the person offering the praise is judgmental, suggesting what we should be doing, it can feel like a denial of our current identity.

(2) Many of these voices and evaluations are shaped by past experiences and individual thought processes. For instance, the idea of being 35+ and unmarried may be something that some people find challenging to comprehend, with the assumption that personal transformation is necessary to enter into a marriage. However, there are individuals who may not prioritize age or marital status. I believe that what truly matters is one's inner sense of fulfillment. Living a life that brings you happiness and comfort, and aligns with your personal values, is of paramount importance.

(3) Could I suggest that self-doubt and lack of confidence might be the result of caring too much about what others think? Rather than living our own lives, we may have tried to be what others thought we should be. If we failed to do so, we might think to ourselves, "Am I not doing well enough? Am I not trying hard enough? Am I a failure?" And before we become that person, the feedback we get from others might always be negative, questioning, and judgmental.

(4) It can be challenging to maintain our own happiness when we are focused on the happiness of others.

"Perhaps it would be beneficial to focus on being happy and carefree in the present."

(1) Could we perhaps try to focus on the present and enjoy every moment, regardless of the consequences, success or failure, or development? I think you could absolutely do that. It is very courageous and powerful of you to be able to think of and do this.

(2) Many people find it challenging to move beyond the mindset they have created for themselves, believing that only through hardship can they become accomplished individuals. They feel a sense of obligation to achieve something in life to be worthy of their parents, and that enjoyment is incompatible with hard work. In reality, these are deeply ingrained patterns of thought that prevent us from embracing the simplicity and joy of life.

(3) Ultimately, it is up to you to decide the parameters of your own journey. Press the "confirm" button to embrace your ideas, and live your life with courage, following your heart's desires. If you feel that your current life and work are quite good, excellent, and successful, then bravely let yourself "let go and stop seeking."

I sense that as you write this, you are beginning to feel a return of your usual sense of confidence, positivity, and optimism. I encourage you to embrace the beauty of life as you perceive it.

Have a good weekend. I'll hug you.

You're happy with your life, but people around you aren't. The reason is you're over 35 and not married.

If they tell you to get married, are they happy? Probably not.

They can't guarantee your marriage will be happy.

They'll persuade others to get married even though it may not benefit them. They may not care about your future either.

But I have to say something when I see them. I can't just talk about stocks. Find the easiest topic to talk about: your marriage. Next time, talk to them about their children, especially the brats who give them a hard time.

I act enthusiastic, nosy, and eager to help their kids succeed. I ask about good tutors and online classes.

This is called magic against magic.

I sometimes have a mischievous streak. When I see my niece, I ask her about her homework. Otherwise, I wouldn't know what to say. I don't know anything about the stars she's chasing.

There are many ways to deal with people who urge you to get married. You can ask them for a loan or complain to them.

I remember a joke I once read. A woman was asked why she wasn't married, and she said her boyfriend hadn't divorced his wife. A man was asked why he wasn't married, and he said his girlfriend's husband wouldn't allow it.

These tricks can make you feel better, but you need to be strong enough to not be afraid of being criticized.

Most people will only stay quiet when it's about their own interests or when they're too embarrassed to speak up.

These methods can give you peace of mind, but they cannot solve your life goals or the conflict within you.

Make happiness your goal.

You don't have to set life goals now.

Live each day to the fullest. Life is unpredictable. You never know who you might meet.

The key is in your heart.

I'm a Buddhist who's sometimes pessimistic. I'm also a counselor who's sometimes positive. And I love the world.

Hello!

You asked this question and wrote so much because you already know the answer.

You're in your 30s and approaching middle age. Most people think you should have a family and children by now, but you don't.

Hugs!

What makes you happy?

It's not about material things or a simple relationship. It's about finding yourself and listening to your own voice.

Affirm and love yourself. You already have everything you need.

But after getting these things, you can't find a goal in life. You don't know where to go.

You find happiness is a life goal. What about health?

What about helping others and doing something meaningful?

How to be happy

Set goals, live a regular life, and help others. Create value and do something meaningful.

Going to bed and getting up early makes us happy. So do new challenges.

Every time you hear the "Keep" reminder, you've broken your fastest record. I also feel happy when I donate to Free Lunch and get a thank you. Small kindnesses lead to great love. I hope I eat well too.

Plan your life and create rituals.

Make a weekly to-do list and check off each item over the weekend. If you don't finish, start a new plan.

Start a new plan.

Every morning, I check the calendar. Before bed, I write a quote. On weekends, I eat big meals. When I'm tired, I sleep.

A regular life makes me happy. When I get bored, I exercise, listen to music, watch movies, and catch up on TV shows.

I try new things, organize my space, and clean. This makes me happy.

Find yourself and gain love.

Dear, you've tried a lot to change your situation.

You're not to blame for feeling inadequate. Get help to understand yourself better. Find out why and get your life back.

Hugs! You may need to be brave to go to counseling. Talk to someone about life and the past.

Know yourself, find yourself, and find love. Good luck!

I hope my answer helps. The world and I love you!

Good day. Show appreciation to the gentle and passionate young woman who is seeking to identify her life's purpose.

I have carefully reviewed your autobiography and can see that the two key issues that trouble you in life (life and the other half) are intertwined.

The initial query pertains to a practical matter pertaining to the other half of your life.

The first issue is a genuine concern related to your life partner.

1. You are currently unable to pursue learning, work, home ownership, and vehicle acquisition due to your age and marital status. This lack of stability has led to feelings of uncertainty about your future. Furthermore, the pressure to conform to the perceived standards of a "marriage aesthetic" has resulted in a shift away from embracing a healthy, enjoyable diet. This has caused a disruption in your emotional state, transforming you from a carefree, positive, and optimistic individual into one that is sentimental, depressed, and lost.

It is evident that you have invested a great deal of effort into this endeavor, yet the outcome has not aligned with your expectations. Instead, you have experienced a decline in the happiness you previously enjoyed.

2. In the event that an ideal life partner cannot be found, it would be prudent to focus on one's own happiness as a primary objective.

2. In the event that an ideal life partner cannot be found, it would be advisable to focus on one's own happiness as a primary objective.

I concur with this assessment. It is evident that an individual's happiness is not contingent on their partner. If it were, the divorce rate would be significantly higher.

It is therefore essential to learn how to be content with oneself and to cultivate happiness. Those who enjoy solitude or introspection often embark on this journey at an earlier stage.

It is important to distinguish between the concept of a "perfect or happy life" and the idea of finding a soulmate. Even if you believe that this may result in regret, it is essential to remind yourself that your happiness is a priority.

3. There is a notable population of older unmarried women for various reasons. These can be attributed to both fate and social and personal circumstances. From the perspective of a colleague, I advise maintaining resilience and avoiding undue pressure.

3. There is a notable demographic of older unmarried women. This phenomenon can be attributed to a combination of factors, including both fate and social and personal circumstances. From a friend's perspective, the advice is to persevere and avoid forcing the issue.

With a calm and objective mindset, capitalize on the opportunities at hand while accepting the limitations of your choices. In short, avoid excessive concern.

The second issue pertains to personal life problems and their correlation with life goals.

The second issue pertains to personal life objectives and life goals.

1. The real world sets us various external goals from kindergarten onwards, from academic success to professional achievement, from home ownership to leisure and financial independence. In fact, this is indeed an aspect of life that should be striven for.

However, regardless of our efforts, we can only fulfill the needs of human beings as biological organisms and the needs of those seeking social recognition. Once these needs are met, the spiritual aspect of human beings remains unfulfilled. This is because human beings are not solely biological or social beings; they are also spiritual.

However, this aspect is often overlooked, and a materialistic approach may not be the most effective in achieving this goal.

2. Therefore, if your basic needs are met, you may wish to consider how to develop your own spiritual world, so that you can truly feel satisfied and fulfilled. In this way, you will not be as concerned about external opinions and worldly standards, and thus escape from a passive state of life.

Take the initiative to live your life according to your own values and aspirations.

There are numerous avenues for initiating a spiritual life.

As other respondents have stated, it is important to lead a regular life and find a sense of inner control over your life.

(2) Dedicate a portion of your day to activities that align with your interests. If you enjoy culinary pursuits, for instance, you can utilize this as an opportunity to delve deeply into the rich tapestry of human culture.

(3) Engage in activities with a non-utilitarian mindset, such as reading books that align with your personal interests but may not be directly relevant to your professional development.

(4) Take the time to identify your strengths, determine your purpose in life, align your goals with your capabilities, and integrate self-care into your routine. This may seem ambitious, but it's a journey many of us are on. You can start by making an effort to incorporate these elements into your daily life.

I am a repository of knowledge and wisdom. I wish you the best of success: always be sincere, always be passionate, and always be young! Don't dwell on the consequences of your actions years from now; focus on the present and be happy and carefree!

Good day!

As a heart exploration coach, I believe learning is the treasure of the body.

From your description, I can sense that you may be experiencing some inner doubts, struggles, contradictions, and feelings of being at a loss.

I won't delve into the difficulties that may arise from questioning your current way of life. Instead, I'd like to offer three suggestions for your reflection:

First of all, I hope you understand that making happiness your goal is certainly a good choice.

It could be said that everyone's life goal ultimately points to happiness, and people naturally seek to avoid harm and seek happiness. There is nothing wrong with this.

The issue is that "happiness" must be rational, reasonable, legal, and compliant.

In other words, the happiness we pursue should be in alignment with the law, moral standards, and not cause harm to others. It means pursuing happiness freely, not just selfishly, and of course, it should truly be in line with your heart.

Secondly, it might be helpful to consider your own state from a rational perspective.

It might be helpful to consider that a rational perspective can allow you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and of reality.

If you would like to view things rationally, you might find it helpful to do the following two things:

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that external standards are important, but that one's own internal standards are also significant. It's possible that the two can coexist and not be in opposition to one another.

From your description, it seems that you are experiencing some internal conflict about pursuing happiness, and that you feel it is not entirely beneficial to enjoy the present.

We all live in relationships and need external affirmation and recognition. It is important to pursue external standards, just as you have not missed a thing in terms of study, work, house and car. To a certain extent, we are all satisfying external standards. But it is also important not to forget our internal standards, which are even more important. Otherwise, we run the risk of losing ourselves. As you said, it seems that the current you is not you. So it might be helpful to try to find yourself again, respect your feelings, satisfy your needs, and live out the real you.

I would also like to suggest that perhaps there is room for a more balanced approach, where external and internal standards can find a way to coexist. It may be helpful to consider that there is not necessarily an inherent opposition between the two, and that achieving a state of balance is a matter of setting priorities.

Secondly, it might be helpful to consider that not being married is not necessarily a disadvantage.

Given that you have expressed feelings of self-doubt, I hope you can see that being 35 years old and not married is not necessarily a disadvantage. It may simply mean that you have not yet met the right person, and it does not mean that you are not worthy of love.

I hope you will understand that the status quo can be changed, because you have the power to change your attitude towards marriage and love, as well as the state of marriage and love itself.

If you were to view your situation in this rational way, you may find that you feel relatively calm and become happier.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to focus on yourself and consider what you can do to truly make yourself happy.

When you take the time to think things through, you may also be able to identify a solution. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do a good job.

For instance, you might consider whether you still have an interest in marriage and love. Asking yourself this question could help you think more clearly about your desire for happiness and avoid avoiding relationships. From what you have said, it seems that you still have an interest in marriage and love and that you still long for love and marriage. At this time, you might like to think about the ways you could actively seek opportunities for love while working and living day by day. You might find it helpful to think about your own criteria for choosing a spouse, to avoid idealisation, and to summarise your previous experiences in love, in order to prepare for the next relationship. In other words, true happiness must truly conform to your true inner thoughts.

In your description, you mentioned that in order to cater to the so-called aesthetic of marriage, you feel you have to change your personality, lose weight, and embrace food. These external standards also require you to view them rationally and to see if that kind of happiness is reasonable and rational. For example, when it comes to losing weight, you feel you need to understand it more from the perspective of your own physical health, rather than pursuing short-term, instant happiness. Of course, having a good figure and being healthy is also conducive to falling in love.

You mentioned that you don't want to think about other people's opinions, but I think it would be helpful to consider this point rationally, as external standards can play an important role. We all long to be accepted, and it's not about not caring about what other people think. Finding a balance where your own thoughts and opinions are more important could be beneficial.

It might also be helpful to focus on the positive aspects of yourself (for example, if you often doubt yourself, it could be beneficial to identify your strengths). Additionally, it could be beneficial to view yourself from a developmental perspective (as you are now 35 years old, but still have time and energy to pursue your goals, including falling in love). This could help you accept and approve of yourself, which could not only assist you in finding a partner, but also lead to greater happiness. In summary, it is important to recognize that you have the capacity to create happiness for yourself.

When you start to take action, you may find that the various negative emotions in your heart will naturally dissolve slowly, as sometimes action can be an effective way to overcome these emotions.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. If you would like to communicate further, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" at the bottom, and I would be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.

Hello!

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and can see you're waking up. You've also shared your problems and sought help, which will help you understand yourself better and make positive changes.

Next, I'll share my thoughts from the post. This may help the original poster see herself differently.

Why do we go along with the crowd?

The original poster said she changed herself to fit the idea of what a married woman should be. She became gentle and considerate, self-disciplined and lost her appetite. She went from being a young, carefree, positive and optimistic girl to a sentimental, depressed and lost old girl.

The youthful ambition, self-confidence, and optimism are gone, replaced by self-doubt. I understand these feelings.

We can also look at why we want to cater to the so-called marital aesthetics. Is your heart empty?

Do you go along with it because you don't know what you want, or because you're not sure?

Of course, it could also be because of our own anxieties. Many of our peers are married with young children, while we are not.

When we're emotional, we think less clearly. So we might do what others say just to fit in.

We don't know what we want or what's important to us. This may be due to our environment.

This is the only way to avoid following the crowd.

2. Take responsibility for your life.

The host said he's living a life that's too unchic for me. I'm weak because I'm attached to what I can't have.

To find happiness, we must let go of our obsessions and be strong without desires.

The host seems to have realized that we need to take responsibility for our lives.

Then we'll be in charge of our own lives. So from today on, be yourself.

Don't worry about what others think. Work hard and live happily.

Be sincere, be in love, be young! Don't think about past successes and failures, just be happy now!

What's wrong with that? Living in the present is a practice. So is being yourself.

If you take care of yourself, you'll attract what you want.

3. Grow your inner self.

When we let go of our obsession, we feel more relaxed. We have more time and energy for ourselves.

We can enrich our inner selves. The more abundant our inner selves, the more we can know what we want and need.

Then we will stop following the crowd. If we break away from the crowd, it will be our choice.

The host can use this time and energy to learn and grow.

I hope these words help and inspire you.

Greetings, esteemed young lady.

My name is Yi Ming, and I am a heart exploration coach.

I commend you for your thoughtful reflection and keen awareness.

I would be delighted to engage in further discussion on this topic with you.

1. It is recommended that the pursuit of unconditional happiness be undertaken with courage.

As posited by Change Starts with the Heart, there are three levels of happiness: competitive happiness, conditional happiness, and unconditional happiness.

Competitive happiness can be defined as a psychological state of satisfaction derived from a comparison between one's own circumstances and those of others.

Conditional happiness is defined as a state of emotional well-being contingent upon the fulfillment of a specific condition.

For example, some individuals believe that they can only achieve happiness through marriage and childrearing. This is an example of conditional happiness.

In light of this understanding, we can venture forth and endeavor to pursue our own unique path to unconditional happiness, thereby affirming our intrinsic value.

It is possible to achieve unconditional happiness.

It signifies the capacity to accept external occurrences with an open mind.

Regardless of one's circumstances or the absence of attainable objectives, it is acceptable to simply be oneself.

You stated, "One should not concern themselves with the opinions of others or pursue the conventional notions of success and development. Instead, one should adopt a gradual approach to daily work and strive for a state of contentment."

This can be considered an example of unconditional happiness.

As a result, it becomes easier to live the life one desires from a place of authenticity and self-expression.

Indeed, research has demonstrated that individuals who adopt this mindset are more likely to achieve success, maintain good health, and experience happiness in the present.

2. Regarding the concept of authenticity and the influence of external perceptions.

It is beneficial to recognize that society is becoming increasingly tolerant, which affords individuals a greater range of possibilities to express their authentic selves.

Individuals pursue disparate life paths.

Some individuals are amenable to becoming the embodiment of happiness as perceived by others.

Some individuals adhere to their intrinsic values and refrain from modifying their behaviors to align with the expectations of others.

As previously stated, the process of self-change necessitates a gentle and considerate approach, coupled with a certain degree of self-discipline. The pursuit of weight loss and the cessation of food indulgence can, at times, result in a loss of one's authentic self.

On occasion, it is advantageous to align one's actions with the expectations of others. This may result in enhanced recognition and a perception of happiness or success.

One may choose to determine the nature of one's own life.

If one first fully affirms oneself internally and firmly believes that one is good enough, then the opinions of others will have a limited impact.

The pursuit of a life fully lived is a mission that each individual should strive to achieve.

Consider the potential consequences of living one's life in accordance with the expectations of others. It is not implausible to suggest that such an approach could result in a loss of identity and self-discovery.

The most crucial aspect is the ability to enjoy one's life without allowing external opinions to influence one's actions.

In some cases, psychological preparation may be necessary.

One may be subjected to questioning from relatives and friends, but it is imperative to possess the fortitude to recognize that this is an autonomous decision and a desired state of life. This realization is sufficient.

Furthermore, it is important to acknowledge that being single can, at times, be a source of stress.

It is important to note that one can enjoy the state of being single while simultaneously maintaining an openness to romantic relationships.

Should the opportune moment arise in the future and a suitable partner presents itself, one may choose to pursue a romantic relationship.

One should not pursue what is commonly referred to as "success and development."

By focusing on the present, one can achieve a state of success.

"Always sincere, always in love, always young!"

You articulated that notion exceedingly well.

I extend my sincerest wishes to you.

Hello question asker

Your question is one of the most eye-opening I've seen. It's more of a proclamation than a question.

You mentioned some difficulties, but it's also about motivation and freedom.

You've spent your life trying to live up to other people's expectations. You've realized that you've been hiding who you really are. You want to be yourself. You're a happy, loving, young girl. I'm happy for you.

But there's still a contradiction. You've thought this through, so why offer a 20 yuan reward for a question?

The questioner wants to gain recognition and strength to help you live with this idea. Is it okay to make happiness your goal?

You want someone to say, "Yes!"

Make happiness your goal!

You're still judging and expecting too much of yourself.

Trust your judgment. Only you know what kind of life you want.

Believe in yourself. If you want to be happy, be happy now. It's easy!

Hello!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're feeling a bit helpless and disappointed in yourself right now. It's totally understandable! We all want to find happiness, and it can be hard to know how to go about it.

I'd love to turn the question around and ask you, the questioner, a few things. What does it mean to set happiness as a goal? Is there a standard? How should we strive for it? And most importantly, what should we do every day?

If we don't have a solid plan in place and a clear path to follow, "happiness as a goal" can sometimes feel like an excuse to avoid facing reality.

There's a lovely story like this in the book The Courage to Be Disliked.

One female student said that she was afraid of meeting people and blushed whenever she did. She said that she wanted to cure her blushing fear no matter what.

So Adler asked her, "If this fear of blushing is cured, what would you like to do?" With a hopeful smile, she told the author that she had a boy she wanted to go out with.

She's secretly crushing on the boy, but she hasn't mustered up the courage to tell him. She said that once she conquers her blushing fears, she'll confess her feelings and hopefully get to go out with him.

Everyone thought this answer was spot on, perfectly in line with the topic of the schoolgirl. To confess to the person you like, you've got to conquer your fear of blushing first.

But do you think Adler really thinks that this is the case? It seems like he might not agree with you.

I'd love to know why she developed a blushing phobia and why it can't be cured.

It's because she needs the symptom of blushing.

What's the one thing she's most afraid of and wants to avoid? It's probably being rejected by the boy she likes. We all know how it feels to get your heart broken.

It's so sad when love is lost in adolescence.

But, bless her heart, as long as she has that blushing phobia, she can use the thought of "the reason I can't date him is because of this blushing phobia" to escape from reality. That way, she doesn't have to summon the courage to confess or convince herself even if she is rejected. And, in the end, she can live in fantasy with thoughts like "if I can cure my blushing phobia, I can also..."

So, the questioner should be careful about setting "making happiness a goal" as a goal. It's possible we might be using this idea as an excuse to deal with problems.

Take my case, for example. I'm unhappy in reality and feel like I'm having a terrible time. Instead of taking the initiative to seek change, I use that idea to deceive myself.

To be honest, as the questioner says, it's so important to remember to just be yourself. Don't worry about what other people think, and don't feel like you have to chase after so-called success and development.

I'd love to know if the questioner really thinks they can lead a happy life by working step by step every day. And what conditions do we need to be happy?

I totally get it. There are always some people in the world who can really abandon the opinions of others and not pursue success and development.

People who can cultivate this state of mind are truly blessed. They must have great wisdom and opportunities, and they also need to keep learning, thinking, and exploring actively every day, which requires great effort.

I really hope I'm wrong, but I don't think it's very likely that the questioner will become a happy person in his current state.

I really love this saying: "The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago; the next best time is now."

Every outstanding person will have a period of silence, a period of time when they put in a lot of effort but don't see any results. We call this "taking root," and it's totally normal!

It took the bamboo four years to grow just three centimeters. But then, in the fifth year, it really started to grow! It grew like crazy at a rate of 30 centimeters per day, and in just six weeks it grew to 15 meters. In fact, in the previous four years, the bamboo had extended its roots hundreds of meters into the soil.

35 or 45, anyway, the questioner has set his goal as being happy, so why not really give it a go? You never know what might happen!

I really hope my answer is helpful to the questioner!

Thank you so much for your time. I'm Jiusi, from Yixinli, and I love you all!

Insight into the mind, make sharing a habit. I am alone.

To answer the question at the beginning:

If you can't find a purpose, make happiness your goal.

Answer: Good.

Words to share with you:

When we feel bad, we often want to avoid it. We use avoidance strategies to escape from our problems.

You'll feel lost and unable to find a purpose in life.

If you resist it, it will keep coming back.

Why?

When you resist something, you focus on it, which makes it stronger.

This is negative emotion.

Negative emotions are like darkness. You can't dispel them. The only thing you can do is bring in the light.

Light dispels darkness.

Happiness is a ray of light when you lose your way. The darkness melts away when the light comes.

Bring your own light and be happy every day.

Hello. I am a heart coach. I will be your ally, listening to you with warmth and sincerity.

Your words reveal an unhappy person. You have lost yourself and the happiness you once had in order to conform to society's and other people's standards.

A warm hug first. Growth is a proposition that naturally brings out all kinds of emotions. From this perspective, everything seems like a bad thing. At the very least, you have begun to think in a new way: I am the master of my own life.

Psychological research has proven that there are two motivations behind our actions: the drive to seek pleasure and the drive to avoid pain.

There are two ways to make someone run fast: put a vicious dog behind them and offer a large reward. The former is indisputably more effective.

This method of being chased by a vicious dog is not sustainable over time. It will exhaust you.

The desire to escape pain is stronger than the desire to seek pleasure. Many people are driven by fear and avoid living a painful life.

There are two ways to pursue happiness: outwardly (seeking) and inwardly (cultivating).

It is a simple fact that when a person acquires tangible things such as external material things, they will feel happy. At the same time, they will feel happy when they receive the spiritual needs of others' recognition, affirmation, praise, acceptance, and love. These are the sources of a person's motivation.

However, many of these sources of external seeking are beyond one's control. Seeking in this way is like handing over the remote control of one's life to others. It is a false sense of control, as the initiative is in the hands of others, and one is only able to be controlled by others.

The pursuit of fame and fortune, or the avoidance of pain, are the two common motivations for ordinary people to do or not do something. Most people are driven to success by these two motivations.

Human desires are endless, and fear is like an abyss. You will never be satisfied no matter how hard you try or how much wealth you acquire because you will always want more.

Happiness is related to what, and it is related to your inner motivation.

When you shift your focus from external pursuits to internal cultivation, you take back control. There are many ways to cultivate the inner self, and today I'm going to share one of the simplest.

When you create value for society and others, you feel meaningful and happy. This is your mission.

Seek your mission and your values within. This is one way to cultivate your inner self. The power of inner cultivation is not only powerful, but also joyful.

If you want to start living happily from now on, you need to do the following exercises:

What is the inner driving force behind your current work? Is it the pursuit of desire?

Or are you trying to escape pain? Prove yourself to yourself.

You have the power to make yourself happy. You don't need to wait for someone else to do something before you can be happy.

See it and admit it, no matter what.

2. If everything is possible, you must decide what way you will fulfill your life's mission. You must decide what you can do to make the world a better place because you exist.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. I love you, and I love the world too.

If you want to continue communicating, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, question asker!

I'm a little lamb with no worries.

After reading your experience, I want to hug you first. I have a few points of my opinion that I'm going to share with you now, and I'm sure they'll be helpful.

You are great. You said it right: if you can't find a goal in life, make happiness your goal.

You're right. Being happy is the most important thing. People, this life, it's not long, it's not short, but you know how to please yourself, and that's already very remarkable. I'm happy you can think this way. It's correct. Keep it up. Make being happy your goal.

You have a house, a job, and a car, which is pretty good! You're 35+ and not married, so what?

Love requires admiration and appreciation. He is confident but not conceited. Looking at him makes me feel radiant, inspiring me to become a better person and grow and improve together. This is not the kind of low-cost devotion that consists of sweet nothings and running errands like buying two cups of milk tea.

He doesn't have to be good-looking. Being responsible and capable is the most handsome thing. When you meet someone with depth, insight, and a sense of perspective, you will automatically become a kitten.

There's no need to rush. Your special someone will appear when the time is right.

Let me be clear: love grows naturally. It's not like mountain birds and fish, who don't go the same way.

I don't care what other people think. Time will sort out the people around you, and those who are worthy will naturally be worthy.

I hope the questioner is happy every day, and I love you and the world.

This is just my opinion, and I hope it helps.

Good evening, everyone! I'm Sister Hua from the Spiritual Garden.

I can see from your message that you are currently feeling a little conflicted and confused, but I can also feel your optimism and the sense of strength that you exude!

I can see you're going through a lot right now. It seems like you're still looking for your ideal partner. I know it can be tough to find someone you're truly compatible with. It's natural to want to fit a certain mold when it comes to marriage. But I want to remind you that you don't have to lose yourself to fit into a certain mold. You're amazing just the way you are!

This made me see my sister in a whole new light.

My sister got married at the age of 38. She is just as outstanding as you are! She studied hard, got a good job, is capable and assertive, and bought her own house. But she never met someone she really felt a connection with. My parents and relatives and friends were so worried, introducing all kinds of people who didn't meet the criteria.

Every year when she went home for the New Year, she had to put up with a lot of pressure from her seven aunts and eight uncles about marriage. She was also quite distressed, and she wondered why she couldn't find someone she liked!

Later on, my sister was transferred from Harbin to Mudanjiang for work, and her position was upgraded. As luck would have it, after she went there, a classmate's mother introduced her to a boy, three years younger than my sister, who worked in the community. In the end, the two of them became a couple and got married!

Nobody could have guessed this would happen! My sister had set some pretty strict criteria, but this guy didn't fit the bill. So, we asked her later why she chose him in the end.

My sister said, "I don't dislike him. He's clean and obedient, and he treats me well."

It was actually fate and a feeling.

Don't you worry, sweetheart. Just relax and do what you said: work hard and live happily. Your sincerity and positive attitude will definitely attract the guy you like!

I believe in you, sweetheart!