If you are tired from studying at school, get scolded by your parents for playing with your phone when you get home, what should you do?

Good day, I have a question.

The pressure of schoolwork has resulted in feelings of extreme fatigue. The daily schedule is comprised of seven days of continuous study, uninterrupted learning sessions, an overwhelming amount of homework, and daily knowledge checks and recitations. With such a demanding schedule, it is understandable that you feel overwhelmed.

You have been anticipating the extended National Day holiday and have decided to relax and unwind. However, it appears that your parents do not fully comprehend your situation and are imposing their own demands and anxieties on you. This has led to feelings of anxiety, discouragement, and frustration, and you have come to believe that there is no joy in life like this. For a moment, you are unable to think of anything, and the thought of "death" crosses your mind.

The learning tasks at each stage of education—primary school, junior high school, high school, and university—vary in difficulty level, ranging from easy to not too fast to busy to relaxed. Currently, you are in the most fulfilling and busiest stage of your life. Meeting a busy stage when you are at your most energetic is both enjoyable and challenging, but your efforts will be richly rewarded. In the future, your life will become easier and easier, and you will be able to enjoy the things you crave now but can't get.

As you mentioned, she observed a marketing account indicating that a junior high school student was unable to gain admission to college due to his engagement with digital devices. She then proceeded to reprimand you. It is important to recognize that parents have valid reasons for their actions, and that their behavior is not always indicative of a lack of understanding. When parents are able to maintain composure, engage in constructive dialogue with their children, discuss academic plans, address academic pressures, and allow for some leisure time, it can foster a more positive and productive environment.

Finding the right balance between work and rest can lead to accelerated learning progress. Attempting to force growth without this balance can lead to difficulties.

Best regards,

Dear, I can see you are sad. Going to school is hard, and when you come home, you don't get any understanding from your parents. You are very unhappy, and I give you a big hug. Let's explore how to adjust!

1. School is in session seven days a week, and there is a lot of homework. You should think about whether your learning methods and learning efficiency can be improved. If you need more time than everyone else, you need to adjust.

2. At school, you should also balance work and rest. You can play ball games or go for a run. Or you can adjust the time you spend on different subjects. At the same time, you can also talk to your classmates to have an outlet for your emotions.

3. You made it through the National Day holiday, but your parents scolded you for playing with your phone. Don't argue. Talk to them about your desire to relax and your plan for allocating time for playing with your phone and doing your homework. Once you've communicated well, you can also play.

Life is precious. If you can't let go of a minor thing and punish yourself for others' mistakes, you'll lose chances to communicate and your future. Cherish life and talk to your family.

This is for your reference. Thanks.

Hello, host. I am honored to answer your question. As a junior high school student, you are under a lot of pressure studying seven days a week. When you go home at the weekend, you want to play on your mobile phone, but your parents think you are lazy and unmotivated. You feel like you are not understood and that you have no hope for the future.

Adolescence is a period of conflict between children and their parents. It is an important period for the formation of a person's world view, outlook on life, and values. During this period, children have basically completed their business-like journey and have begun to create a social self.

Children at this age are eager to prove themselves through their own efforts. However, they lack the ability and experience to deal with complex societal issues. They must rely on their parents and teachers.

Teachers and parents must pay attention to the way and method of communicating with her and encourage her to explore and solve problems independently. This is the only way to avoid hurting the child's curiosity to explore the unknown world.

We must consider why children are addicted to their phones and stay away from learning. My classroom provides children with a sense of achievement and worth through learning.

Let me be clear: most children do not become addicted to their phones.

Second, parents are quick to judge things and people in the process of educating their children. They express their own anxieties about facing the cruel competition in society in terms of morality and public opinion, and complain to their children first. While shouldering heavy academic workloads, they also have to spare more energy to relieve the immense pressure brought about by parental anxiety.

This makes children feel more at a loss during the learning process.

You were really a child then, and I'm going to tell you a few things. Relaxation doesn't just mean playing with your phone. You can listen to music, exercise, and interact more with your classmates.

If you feel too stressed, talk to the school psychologist or a professional on the platform. They can help you release the huge emotional pressure in a scientific way and maintain inner balance. I am happy to have an appointment. 1983. The world and I love you!

Hello, my dear child. I hug you and can sense that you are truly sad. I hope you can feel some of our support and warmth for you.

At school, you have to go seven days a week, and there is a lot of homework, so it is really hard. You don't have time to rest, and during the National Day holiday, you thought you could relax and play with your phone, but you were scolded by your parents and they didn't understand. You feel very lost and helpless, right?

It's worth asking whether death is the answer to this problem. While it's true that it causes sadness and suffering when someone dies, it doesn't seem to change anything.

I believe you need your parents' understanding and care, and I also believe they care about you and love you very much. It seems they may not know how to show you their care and love, perhaps because they're unsure of the best ways to understand and care for you. When they scold you for playing with your phone, it's likely they're just trying to protect you and ensure you live a good life and are happy.

It's not that they don't understand you or love you, but rather that there is room for improvement in how you communicate and interact with each other. While it may seem like you're in conflict, it's likely that you both want the best for each other and want you to be happy.

If I might offer you a suggestion, it would be this:

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the depth of love your parents have for you. It's possible that their scolding is actually an expression of their love for you. We all have limitations, but it might be beneficial to try to understand this aspect of their behavior.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how your parents' parents treated them. Did your grandmother often scold your mother in the same way she scolds you? If you look back further, how did your grandmother's mother treat her children? You may find that each generation has a similar pattern and way of educating their children. They learned this way from their mothers. They believe that being good to their children means scolding them after they have done something they consider bad, so that they can stop the children from continuing to behave badly. This is their perception, and it's also a limitation, isn't it?

It is possible that if they are not aware, they may continue this pattern because they don't know any other way to "be good to you." It is understandable that although their hearts are full of care and love for you, their actions may show you "scolding" and rebuke, which may make you doubt their love for you. It is also understandable that they may not allow you to look at your phone.

It might be helpful to remember that, even though their actions may sometimes seem otherwise, they truly do love you. It's just that they may not always express their love in the most direct way.

2. You can communicate with them in a sincere and effective manner, sharing your feelings and needs with them.

If parents don't fully understand your feelings and needs, they may resort to guessing, which can lead to repeating certain patterns of behavior. However, if you can express your needs and feelings to them on numerous occasions, gently letting them know that you're not addicted to your phone and that you're simply relaxing for a while, they may become less anxious.

For instance, when your parents scold you for playing with your phone, you could say, "Mom and Dad, I understand that you're concerned about my phone use. I'm sorry for disappointing you. I'm also aware that it's a challenging subject for you. I'm studying hard at school and I'm trying to find a balance. I'd like to have some time to relax during the holidays. I promise I won't be playing all the time and I'll be careful. I'm grateful for your trust and support. In the future, when I play with my phone, I'd appreciate your understanding and guidance."

Then, you can listen to their feelings and needs, and you may find that they really do care about you, but perhaps they don't know how to show it. They just do it this way. In fact, you can also work out a plan that both of you agree on, for example, how long to play every day, what time to play, what time not to play, etc.

I believe that through such exchanges, you may gain a deeper understanding of each other and strengthen your relationship.

3. There are a variety of ways to relax and unwind that extend beyond playing with your phone.

For instance, you might consider going for a workout. It is thought that exercise can produce dopamine and endorphins in our bodies, which might give us a sense of achievement and pleasure, relax our body and mind, and relieve the pressure of studying.

You might consider doing the things you enjoy, such as painting, playing the piano, playing chess, climbing mountains, playing football, or eating your favorite snacks. When you do these things, you may find yourself absorbed in them and naturally feel happy and relaxed. This could help you recharge and cope with the pressure and difficulties of learning.

For instance, you might consider going for a walk in nature. This could include observing the flowers, birds, fish, insects, the blue sky, the rushing river, the quiet stream, the surging sea, the grass and trees by the roadside. Such an activity might naturally lead to feelings of relaxation, given our evolutionary origins and the comfort we derive from being in natural surroundings.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Wishing you the best!